Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number

By Hello Beautiful August 25, 2008 12:13 pm

When I first moved here from Ohio, I had to admit that I was nervous. I had unexpectedly lost my job, was stressed out ’cause the roomie was gettin’ on my nerves, and I was worried that my stay in Brooklyn was going to be a short one. Instead, that “short one” ended up being a 5′1″ too-cute-to-be-30-something-year-old that proved that it’s not where you’re from, but where you’re at!

My boy Andreas Hale, came by for a work-related trip and to get away from experiencing a bad Zohan episode, so we decided to hit up Studio B. I am not into the hipster thing so tough – I love it or hate it – but if Williamsburg is the place to be, no tight pants-wearing dude is gonna keep me from dancin’ with those tight-pants-wearin’ girlies. Anyhoo, at the end of the night, I managed to catch this girl’s eye and, with a flash of smile, we were politickin’ something official.

Baby girl was nice – just the right size for my taller-than-Ja-Rule self – and she could talk… intelligently, at that! After Dre broke out, homegirl and I took our act on the road. Straight to – you guessed it – McDonald’s – where we talked about everything from Obama’s rise in American politics to why MTV is doing a Real World in Brooklyn! She asks me, “Why are you single?” “Because I’m not looking for love,” I answered. She smiled. I did too… and like that, it was Lady and the Tramp all over again… but with french fries.

She was all that and a McFlurry, but there was one catch: she had a man. Even though he was an out-of-town boyfriend (St. Louis; far enough away for me to still holler), yours truly wasn’t down to be her late-night Casanova, and ended the night with hopes of hanging out again.

…The next day…

We planned to catch a movie and head to Union Square after meeting up at her place. Once that door opened, it gave way to a familiar face with a noticeably different look. I ask, “You alright?” She licks her lips in response, and all I can remember from that night was H-Town in the background, a few Hallelujahs and three broken plates…

Her tone was Pam Grier smoothness; she knew what she wanted, and I guess a part of me did, too…but I wasn’t looking for love. We got fresh, ready to step out, but there was a knock at the door. Shawty opens it up and – surprise! it was her boyfriend from St. Louis in town on a surprise red-eye visit.

As for me, I’m Joe Cool, but nervous because a situation like this could turn into an R. Kelly soap opera in a hot second. But homegirl was smooth – even for my taste. She introduced me, we shook hands and then she full-blown kissed him… in the mouth! Yes! In the mouth! I kinda felt sick to my stomach and wondered if this was how Hillary felt after finding out about Monica. Homegirl decided that spending quality time with her life-mate was more important than our date, and I hightailed it out of there like my name was the Roadrunner. I had only been gone for only about an hour when I got a text from the 30-year-old saying, “Will you come back for more?”

I just looked at the text and laughed. The bottom line is, if you’re ever in a relationship and want to make sure that one’s significant other is faithful, remember these words: “It ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at…”

How important is location in love? If you thought that was funny, be sure to check out why yours truly and Eddie Murphy have something in comment! Speak on it in the comments!

TAGS: cougars, older women, sex, single in the city, the single guy

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Teefa18

Teefa18

1-28-2009 12:31 am

I think location is very important…although it can also be a real test of true love, it is an inconvenience. absence does make the heart grow fonder but it could also have you looking else where for love. I strongly disagree with phone sex lmao!
MsDark-n-Loveli

MsDark-n-Loveli

1-16-2009 9:32 am

Oooops…….it’s not about the age! I’m sorry that was a typo!
MsDark-n-Loveli

MsDark-n-Loveli

1-16-2009 9:30 am

Baby look it’s about the age really. However, I want you to keep this in mind: IF SHE WILL DO THAT TO HER LONGTERM BOYFRIEND……SHE MOST CERTAINLY WILL DO THAT TO YOU…….THE NEWCOMER!!!!!
IT’S NOT WORTH IT!! You want class not trash!
shangri-la246

shangri-la246

1-12-2009 12:35 am

WOW! That was crazy…I am guessing they have an understanding that they are dating other people due to distance? She did let you know she has a man; and she showed him that what mattered was he. I am not condoning her behavior, but personally, I could not stomach that stress…
SUPREMELADY32

SUPREMELADY32

1-10-2009 5:19 pm

I saw the game before I read down to the last word.That was not funny,I lost a close friend to something senseless like that. Playing games can lead to serious outcomes.She was to old to be acting so inmature like that. I hope she never gets caught.He felt a vibe. Good thing you had good sense to get out while you had a chance.Be more careful young brother.

P.S.
I would have taken you to a cheap motel. LOL
MoeBetter5

MoeBetter5

1-4-2009 11:31 am

I like that< but it is what it is. What’s left to ask is what is the relationship between her and her dude in this long term relationship? Do they have an under or even an overstanding that we don’t know about?

Now I have a problem with her kissing dude in the mouth only if she made him play middle man. If not, it’s like your girl giving you a threesome. You don’t pay the other girl more attention than you do your girl. So she paid kid proper respect.

I don’t have a girlfriend, but a few people that i am cool with. However wanting and desiring to be more, if I’m out with one or am in the same place with a couple at the same time, i will not kiss one in front of the other out of respect.

However if i am out with someone and another female is trying to be disrespectful and holla blatantly or if I’m just in a place full of fine females I will kiss my friend in the mouth to show the other female she is wrong or my friend that all of the attention is on her despite where we are or who i see. i like the brain tease though. Stay in touch Hommie.
lil_momma_gjcc

lil_momma_gjcc

1-4-2009 1:13 am

I truly love your writings. Its funny when I read the words/ “I am not looking for love”. When I state the fact I am not looking for a love relationship it seems as people think I am joking. Right now I am not looking for that in my life. However, I do say if you capture my heart hold on to it and I will come back for it. Does that contradict my first statement? In someways yes. In others no. Thanks for taking the time to share.
karamel024

karamel024

1-1-2009 4:50 pm

Mr. Clark you really had my attention with that 1. Especially the, “it was Lady and the Tramp all over again… but with french fries.” LOL:) Man I am sorry for your crazy encounter in the NY but thats the way it is all over, its just that New York has a no holds bar mentality. “It is what it is.” What doesn’t break you makes you much much stronger. Live, Laugh and Love
Karamel024
TOUNGEOUT

TOUNGEOUT

12-31-2008 1:19 am

LOCATION DOES NOT MEAN SHHH-IT!!! THE CHEATS WILL CHEAT IN THE NEXT ROOM WHILE U NAPPING,YA HEARD!!!
foru2lv

foru2lv

12-30-2008 5:41 pm

Okay. I hardly roam on any of these sites that I’m signed up for but somehow, your story caught my eye. Having read the entire article and situation…it’s hella-funny man! LOL. Really though, looks like you all hooked up the NEXT day after you met and shared fries…c’mon now. I know you just couldn’t turn it down in your face but you’re lucky you got out of there! It’s not just the men who cheat and now you know. So sad because peeps like this shorty you hooked up with make it darn near impossible for faithfuls out there! Uhm…sounds like you’re sized up just right to be her local jump off…and she asking if you ’bout it ’bout it! LOL
tyarradavis

tyarradavis

12-29-2008 2:51 am

dam you could write books ,your life sounds somewhat like mine
OHIO_PEACH1

OHIO_PEACH1

12-29-2008 12:23 am

Well the only thing honestly i can say is misery don’t like company and she doesn’t sound sound like the company you need to keep boo boo.Real talk even if your not looking for love it’s still a dangerous walk to walk.Just like they say never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.So you be careful,but things will work out the way you want them to just have faith.Stay up player.
Synsir10

Synsir10

12-28-2008 8:51 pm

Long distance relationships is one “SHIP” I don’t plan to aboard! Lol! I will say this though, if I was to consider a long distance relationship, it would have to be from the very beginning of meeting that person, not meeting them and then off him or I go. Keeping things “Drama Free” is an art and one that I try to get better and better at as I experience the matters of life. Trust is another factor that is the main ingredient to ANY relationship and then the Honesty. They work hand-in-hand. Be open and allow yourselves to express yourselves freely. Be considerate and understanding to the needs and respect them or leave it all alone. AVOID dishonesty and misleading!
kia983

kia983

12-28-2008 2:25 am

How important is location in love? Thats the question… i have a long distance friendship/crush. He’s in NY and Im in MN.
I’m coming there in Feb alone and i am not expecting too much of his time. He’s very popular, handsome, in the music indust. But being that he is considerate I at the very least expect dinner or drinks. Long distance relationships/friendships can work just make sure u start off with a clear understanding of where U want it to go and what u want from the experience. If all you want is sex from that person this will be the easiest thing to get from a person cause as we all know sex is just the surface of a person. We have spent the last year and a half emailing, texting, talking on the phone just getting to know each other. We have not taken this to another level, we spent time together last time I was in NY had some conversation and some kisses goodbye. things are honest and I feel we have a connection. We treat each special.. So I know have a clear view of waht being in a realtionship with him would be like. Getting to know a person can take a very long time so it’s your coin to flip. As for me and my upcoming trip to NY to see my Friend/crush.. lol we’ll see what happens…
RED5BONE95

RED5BONE95

12-28-2008 12:09 am

Damn that’s messed up.you have 2 watch out for those wolves in sheep’s clothing.That’s why i keep my guard up because no matter how intelligent a man or women sounds or how captivating his or her eye’s are you just never know .I just can’t put myself in those type of situations.
Round_Brown76

Round_Brown76

12-27-2008 4:44 pm

Yes Yes, only in NY. I love it. thanks for sharing. Your writing is sick(good) and extremely entertaining. I will make sure to tell my friends to tune in. You make me reconsider moving back to BK boy how I miss the encounters. lol
Stay Close
ClarkKentBKNY

ClarkKentBKNY

12-27-2008 1:38 pm

@onlyrookie, mochaschoice, nanapeppa

I can only write what I’ve seen when it comes to Single in the City. I thank you guys for your commentary. Even though she DID have a man, I played those odds and unfortunately, the cards were against me on that hand. It is also hard to live life drama free, but I applaud those who really try to remain stress-less.

Keep laughing and loving!