7 Mistakes Single Women Make
Here’s what Lori Gottlieb, single mother and author of “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” had to say:
“There’s a big difference between compromising and settling. I don’t want the takeaway to be, pick the next guy off of Match.com and marry him. I’m saying, you don’t have to do anything differently if you don’t want. But if you feel like it hasn’t been working and you’re wondering why you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, think about looking for the qualities that are important.”
Here’s what many single women do that we might want to reconsider:
1. We feel entitled.
“Women try to be good friends to each other. We say, ‘You deserve this, you’re so great! You’re such a good catch! Any man would be lucky!’ [Men don’t say that to each other.] We are good catches, but we also are human and we’re not perfect and somebody’s going to have to put up with us for the rest of his life. Everybody has to compromise.”
2. We’re judgmental.
“The guys I interviewed for the book said women judge them so much. Women gave me 300 reasons they wouldn’t go on a second date with a guy, and men gave 3. When guys are ready for that stage of life, they find someone who is good enough that they’re totally in love with. Maybe she’s not as accomplished or funny as the last girl, but whatever he sees in her, he does.”
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3. We think, “I love me more.”
“We don’t need a man. We don’t. But if you want one and you go around with this attitude of ‘I love me more’…well, a relationship is about reciprocity, so you need to love yourself and you need to be able to have some selflessness and love somebody else. Women think that message is really empowering, but if you don’t want to be alone, that’s a dangerous message.”
4. We think he needs to share every interest.
“We say, ‘I’m a writer, but he doesn’t read! I’m creative.’ But people can be creative in different ways, and the fact that he doesn’t read the same books that you do, well, maybe he wants someone who he can talk about the baseball game with but you’re not that person. You’re not going to share every single interest. The shared interest should be, Do we want the same things out of life?
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Comments 6
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earlwinfrey
It’s 2010 all single women should be wearing The Status Bracelet. That way men will know you are interested in meeting new people. get yours at http://StatusBracelet.com. Men should wear them also. They are only like $2.00
MyEyezAdoreU
All the points made are true. A good man knows that, therefore if he loves you he will be patient enough to work through these things with you. Also if you love him these reasons will matter less and less. Losing these traits does not guarantee a man any more than keeping them guarantees that you wont have one. Quite frankly most men possess the exact traits we do.
angelishot0
That book is quietly saying settle for Mr. Right Now and do not wait for Mr. Right. Then eventually Mr. Right Now will turn into Mr. Right.
I personally have a sense of entitlement because I work damn hard for everything I have. White people have a serious sense of entitlement and most of them do not do sh*t. Yes, I have I high standard but so do most guys. Unlike most women, I will not demand something that I cannot offer in return.
I am going to be real I am just as judgmental as half the people on hear spitting their opinion about this article and others. Everyone is judgmental when it comes to their lives. Think about it the whole “We think, I love me more” is funny because this is the first thing most chicks say about a girl that is in an abusive relationship is “she doesn’t love herself or she needs to love herself more…”
You want some tips here are some really good ones that might offend some people or make other laugh because it’s true… I am write this like I am talking to one of my whining broke A** girls.
Some females have to take a step back and look at what they want, where they are, and be more realistic in their goals. You cannot believe that you are going to get a man that is tall, dark, and handsome with fat pockets and you are broke, busted, and disgusted.
COME ON GET SERIOUS!
You are looking for Mr. HU and you did not graduate from high school.
You want a dude with a car, place of his own, no kids, good job, and good credit. However, you are still walking, still living at home, no job, five kids, and credit so bad, they would not give you a dead dog.
Women need to get realistic, honest, and get their own. Do not settle for anyone or anything, but remain realistic and optimistic. Only settle when you are 100 percent sure that he or it is what you want.
You do not need a book written by a divorcee or a single woman to tell you that… It should be common sense at some point.
TruthFemale1987
i’m rather wait for the right person and plus aint no good ones in my city so i passed for a while
CaliFemme23
I dont think like ANY of the reasons that were given……Women need to stop frontin, stop wearing their hearts on their sleeves AND be more logical as opposed to so emotional.
Kris_87
i like this one
ladies, keep in mind this article does NOT condone settling (i know someone’s gonna say that ish). it’s referring to the single woman who is looking/waiting…it’s offering her suggestions for when she is first getting to know a man, NOT when she’s already deep into a relationship. that’s another article altogether…