Does Having “The Wall” Up Help Or Hurt You?
Earlier this week I was video taping a discussion at Howard University’s Drew Hall for the follow-up to the award winning film, “What Black Men Think”. As a result of the film several side discussions were started. During one of these discussions a young lady explained why it was necessary for women in general and black women specifically to have a wall up to protect themselves from men. She further went on to explain how a woman needs to have multiple layers that will protect and shield her, thus saving her from the hurt and pain that I assume can be caused by men.
My thought on this… that this way of thinking is total garbage. Since I was taping I couldn’t jump into the conversation but I was burning up inside to get right in. I think what some women don’t realize is that “The Wall” is what could drive some good brothers away. Does this wall stop you from ever being hurt in relationships…. no. Then what good is it? Back in my dating days I really looked at the wall as a bunch of stuff that I had to break through because of the actions of some previous dude. Sometimes I felt like breaking through and sometimes I didn’t. You have no idea how high some of these walls can be…
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caramelhoney03
Well…it helps for a certain period of time….but eventually those walls have to come down and you have to trust somebody….Just make sure those walls aren’t too high to begin with.
Lucky_Jester777
Walls only keep you from seeing something ELSE coming!!! LOL …. i thought i was a masonry i build so many walls. this create a problem for you and your partner in the long run… its ok to protect your self with an occasional barrier or happy place. somewhere you can go on your own and think things out. but just keeping up a wall can also make out like YOU have something to hide… even if its simply your own insecurities….
illuminatus
It helps.
Sexxgirl2011
Walls are barriers that can block your blessings.
blackandmarried
@The_Golden_One – great comment
The_Golden_One
I honestly feel like having a wall up will block your blessings. What a lot of people have to understand is that we just might have to go through a lot of heartbreaks to get to that one who makes our hearts smile. It is a scary and difficult thing to be vulnerable each and every time you come across someone new in your life, however that is the whole concept of living. I too have had a wall up and I am still breaking that wall down brick by brick, and it is very difficult, but nevertheless I know that God wouldn’t put anything on me that I couldn’t bear.