Dating And Loving A “Baby Mama”

Before I became a husband and a father of two, I was the boyfriend of a mother of one.

Within five minutes of first meeting my wife she told me she dropped out of college five years earlier at nineteen to have her child. In that same five minutes she went on to tell me she was on the Dean’s List at Fordham University where she was finishing her degree at night. After a few dates, I learned she made a solid seventeen thousand dollars more per year than I did. And although her parents were divorced, she spent her formative years growing up under the same roof with both her parents. Nothing was wrong with her. I didn’t get it. Why did she have a kid?

Back then I made it a policy to steer clear of women with children who weren’t divorcees. I was filled with prejudices and judgments I made based on the horror stories I heard up until that point. Women with children got drama. What are they smoking that would make them go through with having a child without a man? Why would they put themselves through that? Or even better, why would they put a child through that?

Clearly, I didn’t have a clue.

Even though I’ve always had my mother’s love, back then I had no idea what it meant for a mother to love her child, or to create and carry a life inside her. I still don’t, but now as a witness who has a front-row seat, I can say I’m awed by it.

As my relationship grew from casual to serious, I had a decision to make: either stick to my misguided guns or take a chance and go down a path where I’d never been before.

For superficial reasons, I opted for the latter. My wife was too fine for me to let her simply walk away on a “technicality.” But with my decision came a mountain of challenges and tasks to overcome…

So what were Eric’s obstacles? Go to BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com to find out.

Does your man have “Daddy Swagger”?

Is marriage really all that? How about when there are children involved?