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In every relationship, the past comes up in conversation. And while a guy thinks that he should know certain information about his girlfriend for future reference, he is really better off being happily oblivious.

The folks at cosmo.com has come up with a list of what guys hate to hear, along with suggestions on what to say instead:

1. Don’t say: “Everyone loved him.”

A guy likes to think he is the best man you’ve ever dated and that he’s the favorite of all the important people in your life: siblings, friends, and especially your parents. When your new guy finds out that everybody loved the old boyfriend, his confidence wanes. It’s bad enough that his girlfriend has certain expectations. Now, living up to the group’s expectations might be a tall order.

Spring clean your relationship.

What to say instead: “They liked him but didn’t know the real person.”

It will make gatherings with friends and family easier if your guy is blissfully unaware that everyone in the room might be wishing the old boyfriend was still in the picture. (“He was so good at Pictionary!”) Let the new guy know that while the ex was loved by all, that was only because they saw one side of him, not the person you were around. Even if the new guy isn’t Mr. Popular with Dad and e-mail buddies with your best friend, you’re the only one who really has to like him. He will get better at Pictionary too. He has been practicing his animal shapes.

2. Don’t say: “He made good money.”

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Did the old boyfriend make a ton of money? Keep that info to yourself. If the new guy finds out he makes less money than what you’re used to, he will feel incompetent. Men like to feel that they can provide everything for their women, from the sexual to the store-bought.

What to say instead: “Salary isn’t that important as long as you do what you love.”

Let’s hope this is actually how you feel. But seriously, a guy can feel insecure if he decides he will never make enough dough to buy all the things both of you want in life. Just remind him that it doesn’t matter how much we make, just that we are happy. Also remind him that he doesn’t have to spend every dime he makes on making you happy. He can make you happy spending money on himself. He can start by buying some clothes for going out that don’t involve his favorite sports team.

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