How To Break Free From Domestic Violence
As more news about R&B performer Chris Brown’s alleged assault on singer Rihanna comes our way, we ask the question, is it easier to walk away or stay with a partner who is violent?
I’m sure most of us know someone who has been in an abusive relationship and while it’s not an easy subject to discuss, we need to make our young women aware that you do not need to stay and subject yourself to being abused. Men are just as likely to be victims of domestic violence as women. The National Violence Against Women survey (National Institute of Justice/Centers for Disease Control) estimates 1.5 million women and 835,000 men battered each year.
Here are some high profile examples where women broke free from their abusive relationships:
The Chris Brown/Rihanna incident comes just two days after the end of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, a three-year-old effort to get out the warning signs about violence among young people (16-24) in relationships.
Among those signs, according to experts, are intense jealousy, excessive text messaging or calling, monitoring calls or e-mails, frequently showing up unannounced, telling the other person what to do or wear, publicly embarrassing your partner, frequent accusations of “cheating” or flirting, keeping your partner from doing things they enjoy, and threats of suicide or self-injury in the event of a breakup.
Here are some ways to get out of an abusive relationship:
1) See the warning signs: Humiliation, Isolation, Threats, Intimidation, Denial and Blame.
If any of these sound familiar go here for more.
2) Change your cell phone or home phone number immediately after you’ve escaped the situation.
3) Change your everyday routine. Take a new route to work or leave your home at a different time every day. These changes may help prevent your abuser from stalking you.
4) Speak with a family law advocate at your local crisis center. He or she can help you press charges against the perpetrator, file a temporary restraining order and advise you on how to seek a permanent restraining order.
5) Arrange to meet the abuser in a public place, if necessary. While it’s best to avoid the abuser completely, if you must exchange documents or personal effects, do it in broad daylight where plenty of people are around. Even better, have some friends make the exchange for you or ask them to accompany you if you must meet with the abuser.
Do you know any young women who are in or have been in abusive relationships? Tell us your story.
UPGRADE!
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Comments 9
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Official_Girl01
CHRIS BROWN MUST HAVE INSPIRED THIS {ROLLING MY EYES}
sexiishay_23
im not changes nothing , im not moving ,swichin jobs , the hell wit that mess , the hell wit the police and tv , Rihanna should of whip c. brown azz but like i said aint no man gonna change me and my style cuz i been throw 2 much crap wit men to be stressin me s**t men just dont know
sexiishay_23
forget that bull, ladies all you got to do is pull out a steak knife and cut his azz a few times , i bet he wont do that hittin again , cuz some female like that sh!t when they man hit on them see you cant let a man know yah weakness when he know that then he know how to come at u , ladies we got to be strong and stop running behine a man back , cuz believe it or not like tyler perry said when you tired of it , you know what 2 do ladies stand up and whip that azz
QUEENY123456
no woman should stay in a abusive relationship it takes away the real person believe me i know,i was abused off and on for more than 10 years afraid i couldnt make it on my own the things i went through i thought i would never over come,but i did, dont sit there and take it ,you take 1 step at a time first leave go some where safe there are places out here that can help it will hurt you to leave and you will have fear but think about it you have the same thing being there with him,go hurt, pray, cry,save that person inside and bring her back out you will see what im talking about in time. time heals but if you stay time will only hurt and destroy the real you.i been there,i got out and the real me is back!!!!!!!!!! and doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so go get you back!!!!!!!!!!!
rastaqueen420
I agree with missytea… blessing out there my young sistrians if u ever need to talk to a lady that was in abusive relationship and got out message me any time…..much luv
demerarasuga
Breaking away from domestic violence is harder than one will think. I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 6 years. For 3 of those years I suffered in silence. I wanted to break away but I couldn’t because of threats I constantly received from him and they were directed to my children as well.
Not until I reached the point when I realised if I stay I’ll die, if I go I’ll die I’ll rather die a free woman that to die in that mess.
In March 2004 I packed my 3 children and walked out not knowing where I was going, since he didn’t want to leave the Family home.
Today I have absolutely no regrets.
I think if you know or suspect someone in an abusive relationship try to make them feel comfortable that they can trust you and get then to talk and be gently but firm with your advise. The key is to get that person to feel safe to talk eventually they will feel safe to leave. Reassurance is the Key.
Remember the situation is a lot worse than it seems, try and understand why the victim don’t want to go. Please don’t give up trying to help.
cantmakeaname
I think it’s sad when someone beats on someone period. I just hate it when u try to get the female out of the situation and their too scared to move on. I tried to help a female out of a abusive relationship but she wanted to keep letting him beat away on her.
greeneyez666
i was in an abusice relationship for 2 whole years. He’d hit me time and time again..but i kept going back to him. Even after he broke my face, i went back. Well, Nov. 7th, 2008 is when we broke up.. he slapped me because i wouldn’t let him touch my phone(he broke the one before). That was when i knew i had to end it. i got the courage to call the police and they got him the same night. He’s now doing FOUR years in prsion for domestic violence-3rd offense (felony) .
missytea
Most likely you know a woman in a domestic violence situation. Do not blame the victim! She is in a bad situation but her choice may have coerced or she may not see that she is worth better treatment. Support her don’t say she must leave, it is her choice, help her find resources and help her stay safe. (I am a DV counselor, if you want more info, message me on BP)