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10 Mistakes Women Make In Relationships With Men

By Hello Beautiful May 15, 2009 12:52 pm

Don’t ruin your currently relationship! Make it last forever by following these ten suggestions!

1. Ladies, men generally know it is their “responsibility” to make the phone calls.
Unless they are extremely insecure, in which case why would you bother anyway, they will call you if they want to talk to you. They will also return your calls to them, if they want to talk to you. Trust in this, if he is into you, he WILL call. If he doesn’t, then be over it. You will only annoy him, and there is no turning back from being annoying. This has never failed, and it never will. I know it’s hard to fight the urge, but this is worth it in the end.

2. I know it’s tempting when your snuggled close together to want to talk about your relationship, and find out where you stand in all this madness.
First off, men are more action oriented when it comes to love, the fact he is snuggling with you is his way of showing you he cares about you. Don’t ruin it by trying to analyze things. You’ll find him scooting over and bringing that arm back from around your shoulders real quick. Talking about feelings makes it all too much a reality for a man, and he will close up. You might find a sensitive one here and there, but better safe than sorry.

3. Stop asking questions about his past girlfriends.
A question or two about why they broke up is fine, you have a right to know if she tried to kill him. But, too many questions about them can lead to all sorts of problems, that is including a reconciliation. You get him thinking about those good old days, and she might be the one he’s calling tomorrow.

4. Make it a habit of stepping outside yourself if you find that you have been babbling on and on.
Most men will listen for a while, but when you start going into how you like to dress your cat for the fall season, you might want to just show him Fluffy’s wardrobe instead of describing it for two hours.

5. Here’s an important one, at least in the beginning, don’t shed any tears.
If you’ve caught a sad movie, he’ll find it endearing, but if your sobbing because he forgot to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye, you are turning him off for sure.

6. This is an oldie, but a goodie.
Don’t be so available. If you have been out a few times, the next time he asks, say you have plans. He’s not going to give up asking you out because you have a life. Also, if he says he is going out with the boys tell him how cute you think it is, and that you hope they tear it up and have a wild time. You will score points with this, and he’ll be thinking about you while he’s out. I guess you could say you’re putting a little reverse psychology at work here, but this is almost always a fail proof tactic.

7. Okay Ladies, let’s talk about Hallmark cards, greeting cards, and just about any card you can think of. (Handmade Included)
Unless it’s a birthday, in which case, you should get something funny and just sign your name, don’t give your guy cards with a short novel written in them, or your latest poetry. This is also including those long drawn out letters, and if your far away a letter is okay, but stay away from the hand to hand kind. Every man I know cringes at the thought of these. I know you want to pour your heart out, but it’s too much for a man to swallow when your first starting out. If he sends them to you, then you can send them back to him with no worries. But, this is highly unlikely, I’m afraid.

8. Most men know that the “I forgot my (fill in the blank) at your place” trick, is a sham.
Unless he’s never had any dealings with women, he knows what your trying to do here. If he wants you to leave your things at his place, he’ll say ” Why don’t you just leave that here?” This can really creep some men out. If it really is an accident, they will know you didn’t mean it. It’s a good idea, though, to check and make sure you have everything to avoid him mistakenly thinking you did it on purpose.

9. Unless he asks you, DON’T show up at his work.
This should be pretty self explanatory. It’s a bad idea on so many levels.

10. And last but not least, do not bring up marriage, and all your hopes for a huge family.
If he asks, trust that he’s not looking for all the dreams you had when you were 12 years old about your wedding day, and the gown you designed. Do not talk about what your kids would look like, and how you would raise them together to be good caring citizens. If he initiates this kind of talk, then you can play around with the topic, but keep it a fun conversation, or he will be dreading he ever brought it up. Unless your a mail order bride, and going over your arrangements, this is something you should avoid drumming up a conversation about.

Of course we know every man is different but just keep in mind that clinginess and desperation are not attractive attributes and will have your prospective significant other running for the hills!

TAGS: advice, dating, relationships
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Comments 31

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  • baknchill
    baknchill
    6-23-2009 2:56 pm

    for some people, they need a list to live by in order to find that ’special’ person, which in turns means that they are becoming fake to themselves and losing the beliefs they once grew up with (meaning the ole folk tales from their grandparent, etc) if a man really excepted you as you are then why would you want to change, that would only make ‘her’ become less real. but then again the times have changed, men back in the day aren’t the same as the present. so yeah the ladies would have to switched they ways up a bit, but what should always remain the same is, respect, loyalty, honesty, trust and open communication. all the rest such as glamour, fake boobs, lipo, comestic surgeries, all those are great for some, but when all those fail, what do you have left? i feel like this, if two people find each other attractive, respect each other, work together as a team, holding it down for each other, fukk all the dumb shyte

  • privatejetambitions
    privatejetambitions
    5-22-2009 12:31 pm

    Actually, I 100% agree with this list & here’s why: Today’s brothers for the most part are being raised by Strong Women whom because of the lack of true Father figures in the home allow their sons to grow up as WEAK-MINDED individuals because of guilt. A weak-minded individual cannot handle when a person disagrees with them, or does something contrary to what they feel should be done, or discusses reality. As a result an unfortunate majority of todays Black Males are being raised to believe that life is all about them & how they feel & that because their Fathers aren’t around the world should feel sorry for them instead of them having to man the FUGG UP!! So we have to think like a man in order to navigate through his sick twisted self-centered world. Oh & #3 on this list goes BOTH ways–do NOT ask me about past loves because the propensity for pain in that situation is to great for many of you to handle. Oh & #’s 8&9 border on stalking behaviour. If he wants you to leave some stuff over there he will SAY SO. If he wants you to come by his job he will explicitly say so. I have found over the years that men are SIMPLE. Either it IS or it ISN’T.

  • duaneshango
    duaneshango
    5-21-2009 10:45 pm

    Number 6 is dead darn wrong. That sounds like a woman who is playing games instead of trying to be in real relationship. If you have something to do “for real” apoligize and make it up to him. If you tell him no, for no real reason, he just might go call someone else, or while he is out with his friends he just might meet someone else ……..
    Dang I thought was was writen to help women in their realtionships. This article isn’t really all that helpful to women.Ladies don’t “test” men unnesscarrily. It is silly and immature.

    nuff said

  • InSearchOfA
    InSearchOfA
    5-19-2009 5:19 pm

    OOhhhh I couldn’t resist. Ladies really…..get real! Be yourself? Life is not meant to be played by the rules. How many of you who made this comment are still single? Uh huh. Men don’t come to us straight so get over the holier than thou attitudes.Why do you think they spend so much on their rides? If the material things didn’t impress us women, every guy would carry a metrocard! (NYers know what I mean) Learn to kick ass and take names. I personally love this list.

  • Immaculate_Diva
    Immaculate_Diva
    5-19-2009 2:15 pm

    I mostly agree with this. However, I don’t understand some things with men. I’m a strong believer in being yourself from the jump. But, some men aren’t receptive to that. I sometimes feel like they want us to play dumb. Like we aren’t up on game. I read that one brother wrote that women think like men now….I don’t want to think like a man. I want to be that loving submissive sister who would call her man sir and give in to his every request as long as it doesn’t put us in danger or is just stupid. But, where are the brothers who can handle being treated like the kings they are and thus treating me like the queen I am. I don’t think that it’s too hard to do. It just takes a level of maturity and understanding. Back in the day men took care of women. They were the providers. Now I only meet men who are like, you got yours. I got mine and “we” don’t have anything together. Or they’re like support my dream support my dream. I love you brother and I will support your dream as long as you include me in it. If it’s going to be our way of coming up then I feel like I should have an opinion about it. No, I can’t support your dream of being a rapper if thats ALL you do(meaning you dont have income coming in) and I have a degree in PR and you won’t allow me to use what I know about advertising and PR to help. No I can’t support you selling drugs and not working a job. What about the danger you’re putting us in? I don’t know. I guess I’m at a point where I’m happy by myself. I’d love to be in a loving relationship with a grown man who wants to establish something in this world and not just survive. But dizzaam, it’s like a loose loose situation sometimes. It like they love the ones who dog em out. Try to spend all their money. Or are just freaks and they know it. Project Pat said it best…Dont save her…

  • Karma-Destiny
    Karma-Destiny
    5-18-2009 2:51 pm

    I am so with beautiful, if a man don’t want to be kept you can act like you want he will NOT STAY, in revenge when a guy likes you nothing can keep him away from you, i read somewhere that black guys like women that have small stomach, long hair, big bottom, big breast, they also need to have all the qualities to go with the physique and i remember thinking that’s fair enough but please show me all the “ll cool j body,Shakespeare mind” brothers so i can equalize that s**t …Please

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