10 Mistakes Men Make In Relationships With Women

By Hello Beautiful May 16, 2009 10:10 am

1. TREATING HIS WIFE/WOMAN LIKE HIS MOTHER/MAID
Men who did not get the mothering they needed, or who became addicted to that which they did get, secretly pursue `motherlove’ in their adult relationships with women. These men pass up `womanlove’ in a search for the all-elusive `motherlove.’ They feel they have a fight to caretaking from women.

2. DOESN’T EXPRESS AFFECTION/ISN’T ROMANTIC
`Soft’ is a four-letter word to be excluded from a man’s vocabulary.” Of course, affection and romance are two of the most important things women say they want and need from a relationship.

3. HIDES HIS NEEDS/FEELINGS/ FEARS
Men are constantly grappling with such questions as: How can I reduce the chances of feeling vulnerable if I show my pain or rage? Isn’t it better to remain impassive to the world? Why can’t others see how risky it is to expose my feelings? Most of all, why can’t women realize that I’ll be taken advantage of if I let my guard down?

4. DOESN’T SHARE IN SOCIAL PLANNING
Women frequently complain that when it comes to their social life, the men in their lives expect them to assume total responsibility–to plan, organize and orchestrate everything, from where they will go on vacation to what they will do on Saturday night.

5. VIEWS ADVICE, SUGGESTIONS AND COUNSEL AS BLAME, CRITICISM AND CONDEMNATION
For a host of complex reasons, men are hypersensitive to criticism. When a woman innocently offers her husband a suggestion for doing something differently, or gives him information she feels will be helpful … he doesn’t hear what she actually says. He hears: “You’re bad. You’re wrong. You made a mistake. You aren’t good enough.

6. IS UNDULY CONTROLLING
Some men often feel that they have little control in the outside world, so they go to the opposite extreme at home and insist on total control.

7. MISREADS CALLS FOR COMFORT AS CALLS FOR HELP
When a woman attempts to discuss with her man a problem she is experiencing, experts say he hears one thing: “Please solve it.” More often than not, however, that is not what the woman is saying. Often, a woman just wants to unload her feelings about whatever is upsetting her and to be listened to and comforted.

8. ASSUMES BECAUSE HE WANTS SEX, SO DOES HIS WOMAN
Women complain frequently that men either don’t recognize or they don’t accept the fact that men and women have different sexual appetites. As a result, many men expect their woman to be ready and willing to have sex whenever they are. Rather than make this assumption, women say they want to be asked if they are in the mood for sex–and to have their answer accepted with grace.

9. CONFUSES HAVING SEX WITH MAKING LOVE
Having sex is the physical act of sharing pleasure with your partner. Making love is the emotional act of loving and adoring your partner. What women want more of is lovemaking–holding, kissing, snuggling, cuddling.

10. FEELS THREATENED/ INTIMIDATED BY A WOMAN’S SUCCESS
Experts say many men involved with a successful woman worry that her career will be more important to her than he will and that people will see her success as an indication of his failure. For that reason, numerous men won’t become seriously involved with an accomplished woman.

Click here for 10 Mistakes Women Make In Relationships.

TAGS: advice, dating, relationships

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purpleangel198650

purpleangel198650

5-27-2009 9:58 pm

first of up top when he said dont blame him cause the is the dominion over females hold on first of all a lot of men be taking Gods words around and twisting it to what yall feel like it should be it said men are the head of the house hold okey it doesnt say men control females though where in the good book does it say control NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JAY-RBG

JAY-RBG

5-23-2009 9:54 am

males and females generally have differing mentalities so you might disagree with my opinions
1. i don’t look for “mother love” from any female but i do feel that my mother is a good model for what i should look for in a potential partner. and that’s a nurturing caretaker-i think alot of females lack in that department so they try to flip the script by saying men are looking for maids/mothers
2-4. i can’t really speak on this but i grew up with a different mentality and being romantic/soft goes against that upbringing. i know i leave the social planning to my female cause i don’t want to be somewhere i like and have a nagging broad behind me acting crazy cause she doesn’t vibe with where we are at.
5. i don’t think this problem is gender related, a lot of people don’t handle criticism well(male and female) but especially females when it comes to looks (weight hair clothes etc.)
6. God gave man dominion over females-take that issue up with him if you have a problem with it(that’s just how i feel)
7. why talk about problems if you don’t intend on solving them?
8. a female with holding sex or not being up for it is not something i really care for but at the same time if a dude wants to have sex and you don’t, please don’t get upset when he starts stepping out on you.
9. i think most of us want to make our partners happy but at the end of the day you got to get off and f**kin gets most dudes off. once in a blue you got to cake but real talk who gon sit there every other night and hug and tease themselves for hours when they can f**k and get that nut in 10-30 minutes?
10. this doesn’t apply to all men. personally i’ve been with females who made more money than i made held higher degrees etc. and i’ve never been intimidated because at the end of the day i don’t depend on em and i’m still a man. if i’m not intimidated by a dude with money i don’t see why i should be intimidated by my female. and besides pimpin is pimpin you just got to know how to play it. she make the money you control her mind by keepin her in lala land and makin her happy
SoularFlarez

SoularFlarez

5-22-2009 7:38 pm

ps- get them fairytales, movies, porno-novels and soap operas out your heads!!!! LOL sisters PLEASE be your natural selves again because we still love you and cant do this without yall!!
SoularFlarez

SoularFlarez

5-22-2009 7:35 pm

far as #5, there’s a way to do it…. suggestions, advice, etc….is one thing…..but no grown man wants to be NAGGED no matter how pretty you are….its annoying………………..where is 10 mistakes women make in relationships ???…………oh and females stop being paranoid/jelous/insecure….and stop listening to your stoopid ass friends….she cant even keep a man herself…..oh and women SAY WHAT YOU MEAN…..we dont have time for the lil guessing games
privatejetambitions

privatejetambitions

5-22-2009 12:09 pm

@ pretti_mami83

Actually we ALL do have our faults. On this page there is a link to the 10 mistakes women make as well. However sitting by while these cats deny they fugg up on the regular is not an acceptable behaviour. Sometimes in order to grow & mature you have to ADMIT when you are wrong & that you have made mistakes so you can learn from them & NOT repeat them. Acknowledgment that you have a problem is the first great step towards fixing said problem.
pretti_mami83

pretti_mami83

5-22-2009 11:01 am

UGH!!!! i wiSH YALL WOULD UNDERSTAND US FEMALES DO HAV E OUR FAULTS TOO …. ALL DAY!!! CANT B ALL PLACED ON THESE DUDES
privatejetambitions

privatejetambitions

5-22-2009 2:31 am

I am in here cracking up reading all the comments from dudes talking about bytches & the other dudes talking about all men are NOT LIKE THAT!!! Clearly the author of the article has come up with a summation of traits based on her past experiences as well the past experiences of others. Clearly this person did NOT just make this schitt up!!! Yet & still most of the blokes on here will try & act like this list doesn’t apply to them or the author just made this schitt up out of thin air! Boof!!! I’m one of those women that seems to be frequently mentioned the whole successful, higher sex-drive etc thing but yet & still I have encountered nearly EVERY mistake on this list at one time or another in my life. ALL from different MEN!!! Yet & Still blokes talk like the author conjured this schitt up out of thin air… BOOF!!! SMDH!!! When are BLACK MEN going to realise & be ASHAMED by the fact that the rest of America is SHOCKED & AMAZED that President Obama LOVES, HONOURS, & RESPECT his wife??? Think about THAT the next time you try to deny the truth of the state of relationships between Black Men & Women…
N_D_SKIES

N_D_SKIES

5-19-2009 11:31 pm

OTHER REASON
1. MONEY ISSUE
2. CLUB LIFE
3. ORAL ISSUE
4. NAGGING
5. FRIENDS IN THERE BUSINESS
6. ORAL
7. SHARING
8. ORAL
9. WORK
10. HIS NEEDS ALSO
everymansdream9

everymansdream9

5-19-2009 10:57 pm

A tall romantic, the Bible also says for husbands and wives to submit themselves one to another and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
Proverbs 31 says a woman is to be valued.
Being the head does not require being controlling to the point where a wife should not be treated as an equal.
A wife is a helpmate (in the Bible as well) and is to be submissive, not controlled.
If you break down submissive, it does not mean less than it means to subordinate oneself to the mission.
a_tall_romantic

a_tall_romantic

5-19-2009 9:28 am

Only ones I’m trippin off is 5, 6, 8 and 10. 5 – I mean its not even like that if its good advice yeah I would listen and/or consider it, hell a woman is the same way. 6 – even the bible says a man should be the lead, not to say he runs everything but that’s just what it is, its not a controlling issue, so I don’t know where that comes from. 8 – Sex depends on the person, some women sex drives are higher than men, some women do want it all the time hell I know some, and some don’t you can’t assume its a mistake men make thats just people. Not only men. 10 – Why would I be threaten by a woman’s success? Seems like this list is more of a stereotype than actual mistakes, I’d be happy for my woman if she was doing good not treaten
foxhound001

foxhound001

5-19-2009 2:39 am

pretty good but the prob is piking out the right partner to show those things to,cuz not every1 deserves ur best
6FT9FELLA

6FT9FELLA

5-18-2009 6:25 pm

WITH MOST CHICK WHATEVER U DO IS A MISTAKE..FUGG IT LOL
MISSLYNN1206

MISSLYNN1206

5-18-2009 5:29 pm

MAN!! This list was like a reminder of why I left my ex boyfriend.
Karma-Destiny

Karma-Destiny

5-18-2009 2:44 pm

Lmao@ all the brothers mad in here , and sisters mad at “the 10 mistakes women make”Lool, I love how when these lists comes up (as stereotypical and ignorant they are) everyone put an halo on and all of the sudden all posters are perfect “oh i don’t recignize myself in this post i am a hard working black man/woman” Lool sit down!
DarkSkinnedGoddess

DarkSkinnedGoddess

5-18-2009 2:13 pm

I don’t need you “Hello beautiful” to tell me what kind of mistakes men or women make in a relationship, Because truthfully You don’t know sh-t,Everything that has been listed on here has never been an issue for me OR the women in my life, all you seek to do I.m.o is create another tired men versus women debate/massacre and i am not going to be part of it!If you don’t have anything to post Please,Please… SHUT UP
mitiboo22

mitiboo22

5-18-2009 1:03 pm

#8- Ridiculous…when your man does want sex u should want it too! This is the #1 Mistake married women make! There are too many married men who complain that when they get married they don’t have sex anymore. ugh! I pray God sends me a man who wants ‘it’ all the time just like me!
#9 – I like both…#10 – STUPID! Most of the men I know really don’t care about this…its more that they don’t care for a woman who throws this in their face. Probably #2 on the mistakes us women make.
urameshi

urameshi

5-18-2009 12:29 pm

I can think of 20 mistakes that women make in a relationship.1 is putting all men in one basket.just like the woman who put this up.e-mail me for the rest.
Sigil_

Sigil_

5-18-2009 11:26 am

I wholeheartedly agree with number “7″ and acquiesce to a point on number “5″.” That said, This list attempts to simplify very complex issues; it fails. I like Ebony Bishop could, but won’t waste my time debunking this very dubious list.
EbonyBishop

EbonyBishop

5-18-2009 10:38 am

I could spend a minute debunking all of these issues but why bother – I don’t deal with females that think like this and don’t bother with a female who does not understand how I move. So dudes if you got a female who complains about the above – replace her with a better model, save yourself the headcase.
ikidas

ikidas

5-18-2009 9:26 am

DIFFERENT_MENTALITY says if it doesn’t pertain to you stop crying about it….

Easier said than done…. Sadly, a vast majority of women believe this shyt and it is this type of thinking that perpetuates the problem process in relationships. An example is I’m not the dude who whooped sista girls arse, cheated on her, took her money, gave her no attention, fucc’d instead of make love, felt threatened by her success, misunderstood her cry,etc… but she gonna hold that shyt against me… Women need to do just as much wakin up as we fellas and stop throwing blame…. I could sit up and blame every women I encounter for the problems I had in my marriage, but where in the hell would that leave me? By my muthafathering self…. Instead, I hold fast to the notion that they aren’t all like my Ex…. And most have proven this without a doubt…. It is a double standard that exist that men shouldn’t complain, and for the most part we don’t, but women need not fall into this BS trap of thinking we are intimidated by your successes…. We aren’t all the same so please, PLEASE, PLEASE,please, please stop trying to put us all in this box…. For as much time is spent on things like this, many of you have probably let the best man for you walk right on by because you didn’t like his shoes or outfit….. Spend some time getting to know a man and less time writing BS lists.
papidino

papidino

5-18-2009 9:24 am

I have one more.I tend to spend too damn much of my hard earned money,which is probably my biggest fault.I spend WAY too much foolishly,with nothing to show for it.
Macthaknife615

Macthaknife615

5-18-2009 8:17 am

This list seems kinda outdated. I agree with some of it, such as mistaking sex for making love, but other mistakes include putting the girl over everything or giving the girl too much control. It’s not necessarily an attack, just old stereotyping
different_mentality

different_mentality

5-18-2009 4:15 am

dont understand why dudes are getting upset..if it doesnt pertain to ya azz then quit crying about it……thats just lik ehow they be having topics about gold diggers and other negative things about women on here..i dont trip cause that s**t dont concern me