Dear Kareem,

I’m a 36 yr old divorced, mother of 2. I’ve somehow gotten away from dating and just run behind my children playing sports. Within the next 6 yrs my children will be grown and out of the house and the life I’ve built around them will be over.

36 and starting over, but need help.

Kareem Says,

Starting over is always hard. Seeing that your children have been your whole life as of late, I think that you should take it slow. Your children are teens or pre-teens. They can look after themselves more at this age. This will allow you to have some “me” time. You should get a hobby. Find out what interests you or do something that you have always wanted too.

There are tons of activities that would allow you to meet new friends and or men. Try craiglist.org or meetup.com. You can find activities and people that are interested in the same things you are. You can also become more active in church (if you are not already) I know a ton of people that have met at church.

When you actually go out on a date remember this, no one likes one dimensional conversation. It’s especially bad when that conversation is all about kids. That’s lame and boring. If your date does not have kids, he is going to be instantly turned off. Talk about work, hobbies, or interests. Most people date as an escape from boredom – don’t contribute to it. The only way to be interesting is to do interesting things.

Got a question for Kareem? Hit him up at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com

Dear Kareem: I’m in love with my best friend!!

Dear Kareem: Why won’t he come home?

Within five minutes of first meeting my wife she told me she dropped out of college five years earlier at nineteen to have her child. In that same five minutes she went on to tell me she was on the Dean’s List at Fordham University where she was finishing her degree at night. After a few dates, I learned she made a solid seventeen thousand dollars more per year than I did. And although her parents were divorced, she spent her formative years growing up under the same roof with both her parents. Nothing was wrong with her. I didn’t get it. Why did she have a kid?

Back then I made it a policy to steer clear of women with children who weren’t divorcees. I was filled with prejudices and judgments I made based on the horror stories I heard up until that point. Women with children got drama. What are they smoking that would make them go through with having a child without a man? Why would they put themselves through that? Or even better, why would they put a child through that?

Clearly, I didn’t have a clue.

Even though I’ve always had my mother’s love, back then I had no idea what it meant for a mother to love her child, or to create and carry a life inside her. I still don’t, but now as a witness who has a front-row seat, I can say I’m awed by it.

As my relationship grew from casual to serious, I had a decision to make: either stick to my misguided guns or take a chance and go down a path where I’d never been before.

For superficial reasons, I opted for the latter. My wife was too fine for me to let her simply walk away on a “technicality.” But with my decision came a mountain of challenges and tasks to overcome…

So what were Eric’s obstacles? Go to BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com to find out.

Does your man have “Daddy Swagger”?

Is marriage really all that? How about when there are children involved?