I was recently perusing through the Yahoo! Love + Sex blog and I found an ongoing dialogue about the place pornography should have in a relationship. A few questions came up. Should a woman be offended if her man watches porn after sex? Should a woman be offended if her man watches porn, period? Should a man tell his woman if, when, or how often he watches porn? Blah blah, etc.

Now, I may or may not have a boyfriend who does or doesn’t watch porn in excess, but that information is irrelevant; I’m not particularly keen on the World Wide Web knowing my personal business. I also happen to be wearing my objective bystander cap. That said, my thoughts and/or response to the aforementioned questions are the following:

Choosing to huff and puff about how often your man turns to Tiny’s Black Adventures for a little visual stimulation is about as ridiculous as huffing and puffing every time your man salivates over a Kim Kardashian, Buffie the Body, or Angelina Jolie editorial spread. Feeling threatened by a pixel that is impossibly capable of doing for him what you can do for him is not a good look. Know you’re the bomb, and own it. Period.

Instead of taking offense to what your man watches throughout the course of his day to day, I present to you the following options:

1. Step YOUR game up. Take initiative. Communicate with your man. Find out his likes and dislikes. Find out why he is so quick to pop in a video when you’re sitting in the next room. Never become so content with the stability of your relationship that you stop doing the things that made him fall for you in the first place. If your nails were painted when you met him, keep them painted when you can, and don’t let them chip. If you were rockin’ a fresh perm, schedule your touch-ups like clockwork. Save the granny panties for the monthly, and only the monthly, etc. you get my point… And, he’ll thank you.

2. Watch with him. Make it a movie night. Worst case scenario, you roll your eyes the whole way through (why watch what you can do?), but the best case scenario is, at the very least, twofold. Either you gain valuable insight about your man’s fetishes without ever having to ask him outright, or you pick up some new tricks. I will never forget the day I asked to go through an old boyfriend’s collection. His collection was Latin American, one hundred percent, and while I could’ve pulled the insecure card for being African American, afro and all, I went home later that night and brushed up on my Spanglish. He thanked me.

3. Buy a toy…or twelve. If he can turn elsewhere for arousal – so long as he’s not out with another man or woman doing the real thing – so can you. I guarantee getting familiar with your neighborhood toy store will make you forget about his non-threatening extracurriculars.

If I have learned nothing else in my 21 years of blessing, I’ve learned that close-mindedness prohibits growth. And, furthermore, life is too short to lose your sense of humor for the sake of taking yourself too seriously.

Long story short, if the Missionary is your bread and butter, then you have no right to question what he watches in his spare time. Simply thank him for not roaming the local clubs in search of something a bit more substantive.

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When asked about her mother,who has been divorced from Fishburne since Montana was two years old, here’s what she had to say:

“My mom just says, ‘I love you.’ We don’t talk about it every day. She wants me to be happy and doesn’t want me to get dragged into the dark side of porn.” That dark side, Montana says, includes drugs and destructive behavior from “low self-esteem.”

Get more at popeater.com

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This will be the last time that I make reference to the situation in the media concerning Montana Fishburne, her sex tape and her muse Kim Kardashian. After seeing the reaction towards Montana’s decision as well as the reaction to her claiming her reasoning for embarking on this whorish road was inspired by Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton’s fame after their recorded sexual exploits, there is only one point left for me to bring into discussion. I have contemplated this for a while now and I think I was mistaken for blaming the likes of Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton for making no way into HOE WAY. They are not completely to blame for this approach to celebrity. You know who takes the other half of the blame? We do. Yeah, you too.

Fishburne And Daughter Haven’t Spoken Yet

We are to blame as well for Montana’s Fishburne decision to do porn to reach fame. Kim Kardashian made her career from having sex with Ray J on tape. People bought this sex tape. She was then able to parlay that into a reality show, followed by her introducing her family into fame and dozens of endorsements for everyone. Someone, somewhere had to have been willing to accept her, learn more about her and engage with her and her life. Those “someones” are every single person who turned to the channel “E” on whatever day and time “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” aired and watched it. Those “someones” are the same people who see her on the cover of a magazine while they are down the check out aisle of the grocery store and spend an extra 4 or 5 bucks on the magazine to learn about the latest break up between her and Reggie or whichever NBA or Football player she has moved on to next. We have molded this woman into a celebrity and she literally has no talent. Her celebrity was gained simply from her laying on her back, and in some scenes on her side taking in doses of B-list penis on video. It is time that we take responsibility.

We could have rejected Kim. We could have said you are a nobody. We are not going to care about you and your life or your family’s life JUST because you can suck a mean one…But… we didn’t. Instead we tuned in. We wanted more of her. We gave her our attention and requested that…. To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt

Lawrence Fishburne’s Daughter Is Releasing Sex Tape

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Nowadays, people do lots of crazy things to get their fifteen minutes of fame.  Whether it’s singing at coffee shops or streaking across a baseball field, attention is the goal. But how far would you go to see your name in shining lights?

An actress that is currently in the limelight recently took on the role of a vulnerable porn start in an upcoming film. Although this doesn’t say anything about this specific actress’ morals, do you think this says something about her character? How far is too far in terms of doing what you can to be famous?

On the other hand, acting is just that: it’s acting.  What you say or do doesn’t necessarily reflect your actual beliefs, so why not take on an opportunity that you are offered?

It’s important to define a distinction between doing what you can to pursue your dreams and letting go of your values.

Find out who is trying out this new role at PopEater.

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Mariah Carey stunned husband Nick Cannon by calling his radio show on 92.3 NOW and pretending to be “Debbie from Long Island,” a woman obsessed with pornography.

“Debbie” claimed: “Me and my husband have a very good time when we watch porn and I don’t think it’s bad. When you see the different guys and their bodies, sometimes they’re not amazing, but you can look and be like, ‘Hey, my husband, he’s not so far away from that…’”

Around the 1:25 mark is where Nick catches on, but instead of outing his wife, he keeps it to himself, saying “I’m not gonna let everybody know,” but then tries to threaten and scare the “caller” off by saying, “I’ma put this on the radio!”

Mariah didn’t falter. She kept character all the way through, going as far to mention, “I mean Nick, come on, you know you look at porn! Tonight when me and my husband look at porn, I already know it’s gonna be a humdinger!”

Well, now we know they’re into that kinky stuff.

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Remember Judy Winslow from Family Matters? Jaimee Foxworth made her debut on the hugely popular TV show, Family Matters. In 1989 at the age of 10, Jaimee won the role of the youngest daughter Judy and went on to do 4 seasons of the show before being written out of the storyline and into anonymity.

The producers picked an odd way to write her out of the show – in one episode her character went upstairs – never to return, or to be mentioned again. Well if you’re wondering what she’s been up to, we found out and it’s not a pretty picture…

Now in her early 20′s, she’s been through the ropes, having battled alcoholism, depression and destitution prompted in part by a judges’ ruling that her trust fund of over $500,000 be used to save her family from bankruptcy.

What did she do to combat all the bad luck? Well, she became a porn star taking on the name Crave and leaving behind the family that she felt took her dream livelihood. Having performed in over a dozen movies, she’s retired from the porn business and wants to concentrate on acting again.

Jamie talks to TV One about doing porn:

Take a look at Jamie below:

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You’ve heard the stories about Trey Songz and his groupies, well the singer recently sat down with honeymag.com to talk about his love of porn.

Here are some excerpts:

Let’s jump right in it. You are a proud supporter of porn?
Yeah. I think porn is cool.

Any recommendations?
Any recommendations on porn? Go to 4228, xxx.videos.com and freeporn.com. I don’t visit them frequently, but that’s three different sites. How could you go wrong?

You prefer free over paying?
Not necessarily. Sometimes I pay for it in the room. Because when I was younger I used to sneak and buy DVDs.

What’s your favorite type?
I think that porn is a way to broaden your horizons as far as sex is concerned. I remember when I first started watching porn my favorite porn star was Lacey Duvalle, Lindy Foxx, and I like the free will of porn all in itself.

But some things look better than they feel.
Yea there are some things that happen in porn that some girls can never do in real life (laughs), you know what I mean, unless they are porn stars. I think that’s the cool part about it. It’s like ‘damn, that’s crazy.’

You found that out the hard way, huh.
Nah (laughs).

Do you prefer it when you are alone or when you are with your girl?
Either.

Want more? Click here

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Trey Songz Talks Sex

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He sat across from me on our first date and made a shocking confession.

“I am addicted to sex.”

For some reason, I didn’t react. I wasn’t disgusted. In fact I believe I even smirked.

“Really?” I never had someone tell me they were a sex addict. Not sure that a first date was the best time either but then again it’s better to go in knowing than not.

“Yeah, something I’ve been dealing with for a while. It’s why I don’t date much. I really like you though.”

Right then, before our appetizers made it to the table, I knew that if I was to continue seeing this man I would have either be in a world of hurt or have some of the best sex ever. I’m twisted like that, a glutton for punishment. Sue me.

When someone tells you they have a sex addiction that doesn’t always mean “I have a sexual intercourse addition”. Dude was addicted to…READ THE REST HERE

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Let’s be honest here – some of us watch adult videos, whether for sexual purposes or just for laughs. But is making an adult spoof of a well-loved classic family television show taking things a little too far?

X-Play and Hustler Video did a full-length freaky satire of “The Cosby Show” entitled Not the Cosby Show XXX. The main character, Thomas Ward, stars as a scarily-believable Cliff F*&$stable, and a myriad of black porn stars play the role of Claire and the Huxtable gang. Watch the trailer below – it’s safe for work, we promise! No nudity or anything. While the actors aren’t that believable (what porn stars are?), Ward does a pretty impressive Bill Cosby impression. At least he’ll have something to fall back on when his “claim to fame” stops working!

[From YourTango.com]

Maybe the answer to the eternal porn debate isn’t getting rid of porn, but exposing ourselves to more of it. And not just porn, all things sexual. Toys, workshops, bodies. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago I spent a weekend at the Adult Video Network Adult Entertainment Expo and Awards Show. I was exposed to vibrators that look like rubber duckies and masturbation devices for men, girls in bikinis blowing up balloons until they popped and films made to titillate that showed only bare feet. I saw women wearing nothing but paint, dancers sliding up and down slick poles, film stars signing autographs while wearing little more than a smile.

As I flew to Vegas, I have to admit, I wondered how I would feel about it-me, a short, average looking 38-year-old in the middle of all this skin and glitter. Would I feel ugly? Grossed out? Uncomfortable? Sad? Angry? Truth be told, I felt it all at one point or another throughout the weekend. It’s a lot to process. But more than anything, believe it or not, I felt sexy.

No, really.

The sexual tension, the conspiracy of like-minded people, the sense of naughtiness right there out in the open-it was all palpable. And despite the fact that some of the porn and other “exhibits” weren’t my taste, it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. It made me feel empowered. Like, if all of this is OK, than what isn’t ok?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about bestiality or incest or any of the things that slippery slope theorists go on about. I’m talking about healthy, consensual, adult fantasies. Being among all these people and all their desires made lust seem, well, healthy. Imagine that.

Time and again I hear that being exposed to porn dulls people’s connection to true sexuality, that it skews one’s understanding of reality, that it turns honest men (and women) into creepy perverts. I don’t buy it. Not after hanging out with and talking to the porn vendors and stars and fans and production people. I think just the opposite happened. Because it was all out in the open, there was no need for anyone to act out in an inappropriate way or feel somehow like a misfit.

Perhaps it’s not the porn that’s the problem but the way we treat it with such disdain…

Okay. Right now you’re either intrigued or infuriated. Want to settle these feelings once and for all? Click here to read the rest of the story, and tell us what you think about the great porn debate.

The viewers of a Super Bowl broadcasting on a local Arizona station got more than footballs in their face last night. Somehow, some way, the station played 30 seconds of porn (specifically, fellatio) during one of the most-watched television programs in America before anyone put a stop to it, and now folks are furious.

Read about it here.

[From Yahoo!]

HONG KONG (AFP) – A Hong Kong filmmaker aims to lure audiences back to the cinema with what what he says is the world’s first 3D erotic movie, according to a newspaper report.

Stephen Shiu Jnr., chairman of One Dollar Production, said he would use special effects to make the love scenes in his 30 million-Hong Kong dollar (four million US) “3D Sex and Zen” as realistic as possible.

“The 3D erotica will probably be the world’s first,” he told the Sunday Morning Post.

“Just imagine that you’ll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed.”

The film is based loosely on the 17th century Chinese erotic classic “The Carnal Prayer Mat,” a tale about how overindulgence in pleasure can lead to tragedy.

Shiu told the newspaper that about 25 to 30 percent of the movie would be love scenes, including many close-ups. He said the actresses would appear to be only a few centimentres (inches) from the viewers, who would have to wear special glasses to enjoy the 3D effects.

The producer said he was planning to use adult video actresses from Japan and Taiwan. But he admitted having difficulties in finding the male lead.

“We’re having trouble finding a male lead who is willing to undress in front of the camera. It’s a lot more difficult to find an actor than an actress for this kind of movie.”

Shooting will begin in April and it is expected to be released in time for Christmas, the report said.

Hong Kong has seen the closure of many cinemas in recent years as traditional movie-goers switch to watching films on DVD at home.

Is this a cool idea, or too close for comfort? Let us know!