Are you tired of repeating yourself constantly to your man? We came up with a list of things that may just make them listen. Some are funny and some are serious. Don’t get offended. Just have fun with them.

1. Say the word “football” in one or more of your sentences.

2. Tell him you’ll be extra nice to him at “bedtime” if he listens to you for just 5 minutes. Ah, good old bribery…

3. Take the time to listen to him. Maybe he’ll repay the favor.

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4. Try not to talk during intimate moments. He’s more interested in what you’re doing, rather than what you’re saying.

5. Tell him he can have a man’s night out soon if he listens to you for 10 minutes. A little more good old bribery…

6. Get off the phone. How is he going to listen to you when you’re talking to your best friend at the same time?

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What did women do before vibrators were readily available? They did these common items perfect for keeping house and happy. Now we understand how women get their satisfied smile. Here are some hush-hush household tricks of the trade with 5 homemade sex toys you didn’t realize you owned from the frisky.com:

1) Washing Machine/Dryer Two words: spin cycle. Like a good roll in the hay, you have to wait for the moment when it’s right. Hop on, get off, clean house.

2) Cell Phone on Vibrate: There are pricey remote control toys, but you can also go the poor man’s route and simply use your cell phone. No awkward remote, just set your phone on vibrate, wrap it in saran wrap to protect it, affix it to your panties, and have your man give you a call. We’re pretty sure this is what the old AT&T slogan, “reach out and touch someone,” was really talking about.

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3) Electric Tooth Brush Designed to get between hard to reach places, this vibe is tough on tartar, but gentle enough for you know what. Plus, they’re often rechargeable so you won’t have to keep replacing batteries! Use the brushless side and feel the sweet scrubbing action.

4) Bath Tub Faucet Everyone talks about a hand-held massaging shower head, but it doesn’t have a thing on a plain old bathtub. Lie on your back, with your legs up against the wall so you form a human 90-degree angle. Turn the water on, keep it cool, and get wet!

5) Electric Razor Any electric razor worth its price in batteries can take care of your unwanted hair and your horniness. Gillette is onto our little sexy secret and has released a battery operated, disposable razor called the “Venus Vibrance Soothing Vibrations Razor for Women.” Mmm hmm, since when has a razor sounded so…sexy?

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