Recently I was asked the interesting question of “If you had a superhero power, what would you want it to be?” I started to think about the endless possibilities… Would I want to shoot to spaghetti from my fingers? Fly? Invisibility? Force Djimon Hounsou to dump Kimora and fall in love with me? Oh no, mine is way more beneficial: X-ray vision. But not to save people’s lives or even to be able to see into people’s pockets in case I decide that my lunch is on you. My X-ray vision would be to solve the age old problem my friends and I have had since we started doing the No-Pants Mambo: Answering the question of what his one-eyed-snake looks like. I’m sorry – actually, I’m not sorry – but I’m a busy girl with a smorgasbord of male options. So before I commit any amount of lip flapping to you about some subject I don’t care about, all in an effort to bang, I need to know if it’s going to be worth my while. It isn’t good when any woman rips off your pants and has to ask herself any of the following questions: 1 – “Is it supposed to look like that?” or 2 – “Where is it?”

Since I have yet to encounter a toxic waste that will bestow the awesomeness that is X-ray vision upon me, I’ve made an ode to the five most interesting surprises my friends and I have discovered.

1. Awe, Cute – An Extra Belly Button
It is never good for a guy to have his wang confused with an innie or outie belly button. This is not doing either of us a service. All I’m saying is if said guy has the arrogance of someone packing a whole lot of meat in between their slices of bread, he better have the goodies to back up your bravado.

2. Is Your Penis Cold?
I consider myself pretty comfortable with the naked penis. However, when it is wearing a coat, I get slightly intimidated. Call me cruel or sexist (both of which I’ll accept), but there is nothing worse to me than unzipping his pants and almost circumsizing him yourself. When I encountered this “Chilly Willy,’ at first I thought, ‘Hm, a challenge, like calculus,” but then I recanted with, “Yup, I’m an English major for a reason.”

Beauty alert – foreskin might make you look younger!

3. Excuse Me, Sir, You Have Balloons in Your Pants
In general I am a minimalist, hence, I don’t want to get knocked up. Ergo balls at all, let alone giant balls, are just unnecessary. To put it in more feminine terms, balls encompass the general life conundrum of pocketbook choice: if you are only packing a blush compact, why would you put that small of an amount of material in a huge tote bag? Catch my drift?

4. Penises, Like My Martinis, Should be Straight Up (but a lot cleaner):
Sex is hard enough to maneuver without adding in certain necessary angular adjustments because he is cocked to the left or right. When you think about any sexual act (handy J’s, Beejes, or sex itself), it is all based on the general assumption that he is as straight as an arrow. Being crooked is NOT a plus, buddy. I mean this specific dude also had slopey shoulders and cries more than most menstruating women; I should have known better.

5. The Pinky-Sized Penis Attached to Andre the Giant:
It is my plight in life to only be attracted to men who are 6′4″ and over 200 lbs. of muscle. This body usually suggests a good-sized wang because if it didn’t, what kind of sham would evolution be?! Why would a huge masculine man’s man have a literal prick attached to him? Because of my atrocious taste of men, I was able to find the large-man-small-wiener anomaly that exists in this world. So disappointing.

I guess I have pretty much said it all. If you are sadly born with balloon balls, a crooked cock or your parents were named Sunshine and Flower and didn’t snip you at birth, unfortunately you might be screwed, but not necessarily in the good way. As for the dicks without dicks, you better start shaping up or you might end up on some girl’s list. And women talk!

Does size matter?

We’ve all been in this scenario at one time or another: Am I the biggest you’ve ever had? Do you tell the truth or lie just to make him feel better?

Advice from three of our guy friends.

This week they answer the following: If a guy asks me how I think his penis ranks size-wise, and I honestly think it’s a little on the small side or perhaps too skinny, what do you think the best approach is?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I’ll start answering this question with another question: If I honestly think a woman is on the big side or perhaps a little chubby and she asks me if she’s fat, what do you think the best approach is? Of course I tell her that she looks great. But there’s a difference between these two situations: she can eat a healthier diet and exercise but he can’t do anything about his size. She may even be looking for a little motivation with the question, but it’s still polite to fib in this instance. Which means it’s imperative to fib in the other instance. Tell him that you think his size is great. You can add that you’ve seen bigger and, more importantly, you’ve seen smaller, and that he’s just right. Adding that too big can be uncomfortable is always a good tidbit as well. Being honest in this case will only serve to make him forever self-conscious or even more self-conscious than he already is (men hear all the time that “It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean,” but men also see the widening eyes and devilish smiles when women talk about sizable, girthy man-sausage). A finessed answer can give him the confidence that most women find attractive and will more than make up for his tiny penis.

Straight Single Guy (Chris): This is an easy one: Lie. If you tell the truth (”It’s kind of too skinny…”) his penis may never again work for you, ever. Put yourself in his shoes, “Are my boobs big enough for you? You seem to always look at girls with big boobs when they walk by…” Would you really want him to say “Well, honey, your boobs are cute, but they are much smaller than I prefer. If I could use magic to change you, I would give you natural 34DD’s.” So lie. But before you do, you need to know is that if his penis is small-ish, he already knows. He is already sensitive about it, and he is just hoping you haven’t been with any well-endowed men. So if you overcompensate with an outright fabrication such as, “It’s huge. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen,” he will know you are lying to spare his feelings and he will feel even worse. So just say, “Honestly, it’s not the biggest one I’ve ever seen, but it works great for me and you are fantastic in bed. Let’s do it right now!” Trust me, this is the only answer that can work.

Click here to find out how to be unforgettable in bed.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Oooh. Awkward. You might just want to end the relationship right then and there rather than suffer through such an uncomfortable conversation, especially if you can’t bluff. It is never advisable to tell a man his tool is anything but a first-rate, thick cut orgasm factory. If a man is asking you if you think he’s small, he’s probably having some self confidence issues, and confirming his suspicions will only exacerbate problems. So if you don’t mind living with his teeny-tiny skinny-minny member, lie through your teeth. Nothing good can come of you admitting you think he’s small. If the size of his prize has been an issue for you, or you’ve been looking for an excuse to break it off anyway, you might want to begin with “It’s not your small penis, it’s me. . .”

(From yourtango.com)

Find out the 10 things you should never tell your future husband here.

To snip, or not to snip?

That has been an age-old question.

There are many reasons supporters of circumcision have advocated for foreskin removal, and many more counter-arguments. The health issue is a big one, though. Many say it’s cleanier, and therefore healthier, to be circumcised, and others say keeping good hygiene is just as effective in having a clean peen as getting surgery.

However, a new study shows that circumcised men may be protected from HPV, the sexually transmitted disease that can lead to herpes and cervical cancer in women. Says FOX News,

Men who are circumcised may be more protected against persistent infection with the virus that causes genital warts, a new study suggests.

The study, which followed 285 men ages 18 to 44, found that among those who became infected with the human papillomavirus (HPV), circumcised men were more likely to have their immune systems “clear” the virus by the end of the 18-month study.

When it came to the risk of acquiring the virus in the first place, the biggest risk factor was having a large number of lifetime sex partners, the researchers report in The Journal of Infectious Diseases.

There are more than 100 strains of HPV, some of which cause genital warts. In most people, the immune system clears the infection fairly rapidly. However, persistent infection with certain HPV strains can eventually lead to cancer.

Persistent HPV infection is the primary cause of cervical cancer, but it can also lead to cancers of the anus and the penis in men.

Though this is just a loose study, it’s something to think about. Do you have a preference when it comes to the men you sleep with? Would you circumcise your son? Let us know!

[From Times of India]

MELBOURNES: An Indian-born Australian woman who allegedly set fire to her husband’s genitals suspecting his fidelity has appeared in a local court with fresh charges of murder slapped against her.

Rajni Narayan, 44, who allegedly murdered her husband, in a bizarre manner by torching his genitals which set her Cleveland Avenue townhouse in Adelaides ablaze had later told her neighbourers “it’s just a penis I wanted to burn I didn’t mean this to happen”

Narayan who suspected her husband of having an affair told the neighbours, “I am a jealous wife, his penis should belong to me, I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else.”

Is this story crazy or what? If she burned his penis, doesn’t that mean SHE can’t use it either? Was this woman totally out of control, or would you do the same thing? Let us know! And to read the rest of the article, click here.