I am writing you this letter because I respect your honesty. I got involved with a guy in November of last year, seven months after leaving my physically abusive ex of twelve years. He invited me over, and we spent time together several times without having any sexual contact. Two months into the “friendship” he started asking me to loan him money. TO be brief, he paid me back the money that he borrowed just like he said he would.

Six months into it, he asked me to loan him $2,000, and I did out of my taxes (I got back 11 grand) and, because he paid me back over $1,000 that he borrowed from me previously. After he gets this money from me, he then tells me that he wants to be to himself two days later. I asked him why in the hell would he ask me for money then all of a sudden want to be alone. He claims that he was going through some things. Whatever. Anyhow, he had promised to repay me the money in monthly payment of $100, and only gave me one payment. He claimed that his mother spent his money that was in his account, and that he could not pay me back as we agreed. He promised to have a payment in two weeks, and to call him then. Unbeknownst to me, he had filed three police reports claiming that I had harassed him for months, and that he didn’t owe me any money. I was served with a restraining order, and he was granted one for six months.

I sued him in civil court because even though we had no promissory note, I had 10 recent text messages of him owing me the money and promising to repay it. I subpoena his mother as my witness, because I knew from the beginning that his story was BS. She testified under oath that she had no knowledge of me or my money. This old woman straight up lied! The betrayal that I felt, on top of the heartbreak, intensified. I realized that he had set out from the beginning to use me, and he lied to me when he could’ve been honest. That’s all I ever asked, and he knew that I cared deeply for him. So, I’m still in litigation, but he knew that I needed this money back. He knew that I was a single mom with two daughters. So, he didn’t just take that from me, he took from my kids too. I was good to him, compassionate when he cried on my shoulders, and I try to be the best person I can be to all of my friends, family and associates. I did nothing for him that I wouldn’t do for anyone else.

I used to be extremely selfish, and now I went from being too selfish to being too free-hearted. I allowed someone to see the good in me, and take advantage of it. I feel so stupid and I take responsibility for even loaning the money. It’s the betrayal that hurt most, the lies, the restraining order he lied on me in, when all I did was be good to him. How can someone be so heartless and cruel? No conscience. I go to church, I work hard for my tax money, I don’t lie, manipulate or use people. He had given me money to and bought me things, so all of this caught me off guard. Again, this was his plan, his trap for me. I met his representative; the real him came out much later.

I went through a severe depression, and even now, I’m still trying to put myself back together. I want his mom to be in court for the trial, so she can see how he did me. I’m really hoping that she make him realize how wrong he is, because she is the only woman he cares anything about. He has a daughter, and I told him that I’m someone’s daughter too. So, I guess that I’m just asking how to get over the betrayal. I see now that I got involved too soon after the 12 years with my ex, so men are a no-no for a long time. No sex, no friends, no nothing. I see why he’s been single all these years, and for him to be a FED-EX manager for 13 years, why use me for money? I’m ready for the lashing, but I just want him to understand how wrong he is, and how he really wounded me. I want someone to hurt him like that too, so he can see how that -ish feels. Maybe then he will realize how he hurt me, and all the other women he took advantage of. Because I know I’m not the first one. – He Took From Me

Dear Ms. He Took From Me,

Ma’am, the problem is that you ran from one abusive relationship right into another. You didn’t take the time to heal and seek therapy from your physically abusive relationship of 12 years, and I’m certain there was some emotional and mental abuse as well. But, the fact remains that you didn’t heal. You didn’t undo the 12 years of abuse that you suffered, thus, any man who heard your cry and your story knew that you were wounded. And, just like a lion, that man saw you as an easy weak prey grazing in the wilderness and pounced on you and your vulnerability.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that you should stay away from men and sex until you do some real therapy and learn how to recognize your own self-worth, and get to the point of loving you fully, completely, and honestly. Until you get to that point, please do not get involved with anyone else. As a matter of fact, focus on your daughters and raising them to be strong, beautiful, intelligent women who will not suffer or experience the heartache and pain you did for so long.

And, Ms. Honey, I’ve said this time and time again. And, quite frankly, girl, I’m getting tired of repeating myself, but here it goes: DO NOT LOAN MONEY TO FRIENDS, FAMILY, OR A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.  You are not a bank. You are not a credit union. You are not an ATM machine. And, if these people cannot walk into a bank and get a loan, then why the hell would you loan them money? If they bank sees them as a high-risk, then take note and tell them the same thing: “Boo Boo, I’m sorry, but according to your past creditors, debts, and your credit score of 375, you are a high-risk for a loan. I’m sorry, but I can’t loan you any money.”

Ladies, ladies, ladies, giving a man money to prove your love, loyalty, and your self-righteous attitude of, “I’m a good woman and good person, and I hope you’ll recognize that by me giving you money and it will join us together in love and make you fall deeper for me.” That MoFo –ish is pure insane asinine ass backwards thinking! Giving a man money is not going to prove anything other than that you got the money to give, and if you’re so giving then they’ll keep asking. Uhm, sweetie, if you’re such a wonderful, church-going woman, and you want to feel good about giving your money away then there are plenty of charities that can benefit from your kindness and good heart. A man is not one of them!

But, that rat bum bastard needs to have his nuts cut off. Someone needs to shake him down and whoop his ass! Why he did what he did is just purely evil and conniving. He is an asshole and to take money from you, and your children, is spiteful, dirty, and lowdown. But, don’t worry about the karma because he will pay and it’ll be in a way that’ll wear his narrow ass out!!!

Also, I need for you to understand yourself and why you keep attracting the men that you do. It’s time to do some introspection and look at yourself and the pattern of men you’ve allowed in your life. Your abusive ex is not the first man to abuse you. I’m certain of that. Look at every man you’ve been with, and the abuse you’ve suffered as a result. It can emotional, mental, and of course physical. Then ask yourself why is your self-esteem so low. Why do you need a man in your life that will use you, abuse you, and take advantage of you? Only you can answer these questions. Be honest with yourself and tell yourself the truth!!!! Damn it!

Moving forward, please continue with the court proceedings and keep every documented piece of evidence that you can. You’re going to have to prove in court that he asked to “borrow” the money, and that you “loaned” him the money, as well as he “promised” to pay you back. If you have emails, texts, or voicemail messages with him stating any of this, then it will help you in court. I also hope that you got him to sign something saying that you are loaning him money and he is to pay you back in a reasonable amount of time. A conversation between you two will not fly in court. You need to have it written, signed, and notarized. And, in the future, if you EVER decide to loan anyone money, I’ll snatch your ass by the head and whoop your ass myself. But, just in case make them sign a contract and include every detail possible about the repayments and the amount they are borrowing. But, to alleviate anything like this happening again, DO NOT LOAN MONEY OUT EVER! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

“We Practice Different Religions, So Should I Keep Him Or Choose God”

“I Love My Man, But In The Bedroom He’s Not Fulfilling My Desires”

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Let me first start by saying I really enjoy reading your column, and your keep it really real demeanor.

My story starts out like this. Last spring I moved in with my boyfriend and one of our “good” friends at the time. Everything was fine and dandy until one morning, after about three weeks of living there, he woke us up and asked us to go to the court house because they had a bench warrant out for him over an unpaid speeding ticket. Long story short he didn’t have all the money.

Now, I have loaned him money in the past and he has always paid me back. No problem. But, this time I would’ve known better because his ticket totaled over $800 and he only had $125 of it. So, (like a dummy) I loaned him the rest. And, he agreed that he would pay me back in front of my boyfriend. Well, flash forward about two months and I still ain’t got one red nickel from him.

The catalyst that changed everything was a generic status on Facebook that was about the town that we live in. But, he took it as it being about him because he started to ignore me and lying, and saying that I was cheating on my boyfriend, I’m just an all around nasty person, and he was gonna put me out once he realized that he really had to pay me back.

Well, everything came to a head in August after I found out I was pregnant and was stressed from my job, and the fact that his lying caused my family to look at me different and some of our mutual friends were cursing me out. Like the stress had gotten so bad from it that my hair started falling out and I was already hormonal at the time (which didn’t help.). So, I ended up moving back with my parents and shortly thereafter losing my baby because of the stress.

Now, he still owes me about $300 and he keeps saying that he’s gonna pay me back in front of other people. But, everybody was like I should just forgive him and work it out. But, I keep telling folks I just want my money. I have lost enough life behind all of this madness. Like nobody besides my boyfriend will listen to me about how I feel about the situation, or how it has affected me mentally. They all take his side in this. When I considered him a brother if he needed the shirt off of my back I would’ve given it to him no questions asked. But, my family still looks at me sideways and act like I’m retarded for being hurt, and keep telling me to apologize to him for everything. Like it makes me feel as if they think I deserved it for all of this to happen to me. Am I crazy, or do I have a valid reason to feel the way that I do? – Betrayed

“I’ve Developed Feelings For A Family Friend, But My Ex-Wife Is Against Us Dating”

Dear Ms. Betrayed,

It’s your money and you want it now!!! Chile, you better get J.G. Wentworth on his ass! LMBAO!

Honey, let me tell you something. Never, never, never ever loan money to anyone. That is the cardinal rule. Chile, I wish I would loan money out to folks. They don’t know how to pay it back on time. They swear they will pay you back when they get paid at the end of the week or some lame ass time frame based on their pay period. But, when that check comes in they are dodging you like those student loan folks who call your house. They are nowhere to be found.

Loaning money to friends or family members is never a good idea. Honey, it is not worth the stress, aggravation, or friendship or family-ship. Instead of loaning money I do one of two things: 1.) I say to them, “I don’t have it. Sorry, but I can’t help you out.” You see how easy that is. I don’t have to worry about a loan, or having to recover the money. I don’t have it and I’m not giving them anything I don’t have.

2.) If I’m feeling the love and very generous, I will give them the money instead of loaning it to them because I don’t want to have to chase them down trying to collect my money when they are out shopping at the mall buying new clothes, or up in the club buying drinks. Nope. I’m not going to put myself through that stress or drama. So, I lovingly give them the money and let them know that this is the first, and last time. So, don’t come back asking for anything. Therefore, I don’t loan money. And, neither should you. You are not a bank. You are not a credit union.

Think about this, if they got into the situation and are unable to pay the money back do you think if they went to a bank for a loan, do you think the bank will give them money based on their track record? Hell no!! And, if someone has a problem with making payments on a bill, and they can’t pay the outstanding debt they have, then why the hell would you give them money knowing they are not responsible and that’s what got them in their situation in the first place? If they can’t pay their outstanding debts or make the payments, then clearly they will not be able to pay you back.

Your friend, and I use the word loosely, is wrong, trifling, and needs his nuts cracked. You are a good one. I wish I would give someone nearly $600 for a speeding ticket. Do you drive the car? Is your name on the lease? Were you a co-conspirator on the speeding ticket? He got himself into that debt and knew he had speeding ticket for over $800, and this Mo-Fo waited until the last minute and when a bench warrant was issued, and he came to you asking for the money? Chile, he would have sat in jail with Bubba and them. And, I would have told him, “Don’t drop the soap.” I’m sorry, but it was his fault. He got himself into that mess, then his grown ass would have had to pay the consequences for his actions.

And, Diva, he’s not your friend. As you can see, when money is involved between friends, and you they don’t want to pay you back they will make all types of excuses and reasons of why they can’t pay you back. This asshole had the nerve to create a riff between you and your friends and family because he owes you money. Yeah, you need to give him a deadline date of repayment for the remainder of the money. And, you need to write it up as a contract with the amount he owes, why he owes it, and when he has to make the final payment. Have him sign in, a witness sign it, and take it to a notary. If he doesn’t pay you by the contractual due date, then have his ass served with some papers. Sue his narrow ass. Take him to court and let them work it out. Stop trying to be nice, appeasing, and bending over backwards for someone who obviously doesn’t give two damn cents about you, your feelings, or your money. And, remove him from your life. He’s not your friend. He looks at you like an ATM machine and bank. Tell that shady bastard that his account has gone into collections, and the Bank of Save A Broke Ass Punk is no longer in the lending business. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

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When you look at old celebs like Jamie Foxx back when he had the juicy curl and the country gap, Ne-yo with the alfalfa part in his zesty high school Glamour shot pictures and lil John where I honestly can’t decipher if he looks better then or now. Other celebs that seemed to had looked after before they “got back to the money” are Drake, Kanye West, Lebron James, Ice Cube and many many more. One thing is for certain, these celebs upgraded like all hell when they got a little money though.

It seems as though however, with all the expensive clothing, bling-bling, personal trainers, veneer, spa treatments and whatever else it takes to make these stars look like they do now they have made somewhat of a come-up in the looks department. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say that money isn’t the only answer to these celebrity come-ups though, they do say age does the body good so that could also be the reason. I’m not hating nor complaining though, I’d probably look like a million bucks too if I had it!

Check out these celeb photos in the gallery below and let me know if you think, does money really make you look better?

Hot Or Not Celeb Photos

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Get Fit While Saving Money On Your Commute

No-Money Decorating Tips For Your Living Room

Are You Enabling Your Loved Ones Bad Financial Decisions?

Red Flag #1: He drives a big flashy car and lives in a fly apartment – the one he calls a “condo” – in the ritzy part of town, but his furniture consists of a futon and one flat screen television. Okay, if he moved in last Saturday, then we can give him a pass, but if he’s a grown man and he’s been there longer than 30 days with no real furniture, chances are he’s not the baller you thought he was. The only thing worse would be him living in a fully furnished home. . . with his mama!

Red Flag #2: When you met him, he was buying out the bar at the club. But, everytime you come to that empty apartment/”condo,” his refrigerator is just as bare with the exception of the Arm & Hammer Baking Soda he uses to keep the ice fresh. Be leery of anyone who is so concerned about impressing complete strangers on Saturday night, he’ll starve for the rest of the week.

Red Flag #3: Have you ever seen him get his mail out of the mailbox? If you answered “No,” be concerned. He can’t be in control of his finances if he’s ignoring his mail. Someone who has their finances together won’t want to run the risk of missing something important. On the flip side, if he does get the mail, but the contents are always pastel colored envelopes that read “URGENT” or “PAST DUE” across the front, you should still be concerned. That is a pretty standard clue that someone is having trouble paying their bills on time.

Read More

Why Emergency Funds Are Really Dumb

How To Live Big On A Small Budget

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If you’re like most over consuming Americans, there are definitely valuable items lying around your house that you or your family no longer put much value in. It’s reported that the average American has almost $900 worth of unused “stuff” sitting around their home. Think about it:

What could you do with $900 right now?
Do you have an emergency/opportunity fund?
Do you have a kid that needs books next semester?
Want cash for your summer vacation? .

Well, what are you waiting for? Get up already and start cleaning!

Disclaimer: This is not just for “unwanted” stuff because folks love to talk about how they “might” use something “one day!” This is about clearing out unused items. If you haven’t used something in 12 months, much less 5 years, I think it’s safe to say you can live without it.

Here are 5 ways spring cleaning can jump start your savings:

1. Sell Old Gold – I know you might think that you’re saving the gold nugget ring from ’78 or perhaps that coveted rope chain from the 80s just in case they come back in style, but the reality is if you’re in debt or don’t have any savings, it may be best to see if your prized collection of tangled necklaces and broken clasps can earn you some cash. There are tons of places that allow you to just mail the items in and wait for a check, but I suggest stopping in to a local “Cash for Gold” store front and getting an estimate in person and up front.

2. Cash in on Gift Cards – Are you still hanging on to those unwanted gift cards you got for Christmas? It’s estimated that in the $90 billion gift card industry, an average of 10% of gift cards goes unused each year. Check out sites like plasticjungle.com or cardwoo.com to turn your unwanted gift cards into cash. Depending on the demand for the card, you can earn up to 90% of the value.

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5 Signs You’re Dating A Deadbeat

How To Break Your Bad Money Habit

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1. Remember that every moment with your child is a teachable moment. For example, when driving to school, show them the prices on gas stations and explain why they change so often. Explain the prices using concepts of demand and supply.

2. Take your children grocery shopping. While in a store, tell them they need to buy something small — cereal, for example. Give them money and tell them to pick one and to do it wisely. If they can count money, ask them to complete the purchase transaction on their own. Discuss what they did right and what they can do better next time.

3. Take your children to the bank and open a savings account in their name and request an ATM card for them. Once you receive the card, show them how to deposit cash using an ATM. Once in a while, show them how cash is withdrawn. Ask them to keep a running total of their balance.

READ MORE OF THIS STORY HERE

How To Raise Little Helpers

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How to create an active lifestyle for your kids

We have witnessed brothers and sisters turn on one another, children rebel against parents who are struggling and striving to just keep a roof over their head, much less a Gucci on their arm and husbands and wives ripped apart over financial failures. These observations have caused me to personally wonder whether the recession is really the cause for ruining these relationships or are people just being who they always were? Was their much substance to these bonds in the first place?

Foundations made of sand . . . the only explanation I have come up with thus far. People who allowed money to make them . . . instead of simply making money work for them. Marriages that are founded on selective amnesia which conveniently forget the vow “for richer or poorer.” Parents who buy love instead of giving and receiving love freely. In my eyes, this is what our society has come to embrace in our chase for money and false assumption that both more and bigger are always better. Could it be that the only part the recession has played in this entire ordeal is exposing us for what we have in fact allowed ourselves to become?

Read More

How To Live Big On A Small Budget

4 Ways To Stop Buying Things You Don’t Need

The Hottest Celeb Pics

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We all have bad financial habits. The purchases we make that make us cringe because we overpaid for something. The purchases that feel so unavoidable but that could end up saving you money if you could just find a way to stop them.

Recently, the Smart Cookies received an e-mail from a woman who visited our site and downloaded our new ebook, The Smart Cookies’ Quick Start Guide. She asked for our advice about those exact purchases.

She explained that she was overwhelmed by her numerous financial bad habits that were spiraling out of control, which is a feeling we had all experienced. Our advice? Pick a starting point. Think of your most expensive bad habit, the one that is costing you the most.

READ MORE AT SHINE.COM

RELATED LINKS:

Is There A Connection Between Balance & Security?
Did Any Black Actresses Make Forbes’ “Highest Paid” List?

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Diddy said:

“I’ve had a lot of success and I’ve had a lot of material things, but I’ve never conquered love. I’ve never just had that always successful relationship. That’s due to the fact of me working and not paying attention to the girl, or me also feeling that the girl doesn’t appreciate me. And then I get a girl that really knows how to love me and I’ll press the self-destruct button because it makes me feel uncomfortable that she’s loving me so much.”

He also told the mag:

“I just want to be happy. You know what I’m saying? I just want to be happy and I want to be able to make somebody else happy. I don’t think I need a ring or picket fence or whatever society’s definition of happiness is in a relationship. I just want to be happy in my heart.”

Source

And check out our Original Story Of The Week: He’s done it again, TOP 5: Chris Brown’s Failed Attempts To Get RiRi Back

Ex Bad Boy Artist Dishes On Diddy In “Dancing With The Devil”

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What Is Diddy’s Choice Of Love-Making Music?

Guys are always talking about bitter women and how they are so sick of them. Well guess what! There are a lot of bitter men out there who made poor choices in women in the past and from here on out, every woman that they date after her is being punished. Instead of them taking the time to get over their past hurt, they jump right back into the dating game with all of these unresolved issues that they force on the new women in your life. Don’t worry about me sweetie. Dude, are you bitter?

Is Having A Dating Checklist The Reason Why You’re Single?

1. He talks about an ex that burned him or did him wrong but she was also the love of his life.

Yeah this is the guy who is always yapping about his ex-girl. When you ask him are you over her? He swears he is but then proceeds to continue to talk ish about her on your dates with him. To the point where you want to yell: I don’t want to hear about this chick!

2. He does not want to do the simple things for you.

He fears that any form of him giving in the slightest would mean that he is engaging in the act of giving of himself. He does not want to give too much of himself or anything at all to any woman because some chick from his past used him. So now he barely wants to hold the door open for you. Don’t let the door hit you in the face girl.

How To Get Over A Break Up And Get On With Your Life

3. He tries to devalue the impact that a good woman can have in his life.

This is the type that has a grudge against all women and refuses to believe that there are any good women in the world. So, this gives him the freedom to treat chicks any way they please guilt free.

4. Does not want to spend any money on you.

Whenever you guys go out on a date, he refuses to pay for you. In fact he won’t even take you to a nice restaurant. You better have your own McDonalds money girl.

To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt.  Also Check Out YeahSheSaidIt Radio where we discuss this topic more.

The Hottest Celeb Pics

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Here are a few tips to add to your beauty regimen that could save you some major cash:

- When applying lipstick only coat the bottom and then press lips together for a natural and cost effective way to add color to your lips.

- To save money exfoliating make a mixture of brown sugar and honey, which is cheaper than store bought exfoliates and can clean out the cupboard of some of those unused items.

- When your french manicure chips going back for a touch up can be a costly affair, but using white out to do the job saves you some major cash and still looks great!

- Lipstick shades that you might be tired of don’t have to go to waste, combine a few shades and melt them in the microwave for a new color, put it in a container and it can be applied like lip balm and you have brand new shades!

- Scented lotions can be quite expensive, but a way to save yourself some cash and guarantee a scent you like is to create your own. Take an unscented lotion and add a few drops of your favorite scent. The smell lasts and will also save you some money!

- Eye makeup remover can run very expensive, however we have learned that Johnson’s No More Tears formula baby shampoo works just as well and is a lot cheaper.

- Buying a moisturizer and foundation separately doubles the cost, but the moisturizing mousse foundation applies well and saves the cost of buying each item separately.

Looking for other ways to save money and still look great?

How To Save Money On Beauty Products

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DIY: Manicure and Pedicure

]]> http://hellobeautiful.com/347437/give-your-beauty-regimen-a-money-makeover/feed/ 6 Your Beauty Regimen Gets A Money Makeover (thumbnail) ionehellobeautiful woman-cosmetic-store http://hellobeautiful.com/903252/5-reasons-why-black-women-arent-gold-digger/ http://hellobeautiful.com/903252/5-reasons-why-black-women-arent-gold-digger/#comments Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:15:41 +0000 HelloBeautifulStaff http://hellobeautiful.com/?p=903252 ]]>

I know some black men who are attracted to black women but don’t pursue them because they think that black women aren’t interested in them. All of these guys have great jobs, went to great schools, they all are in excellent shape, they hit the gym, they play sports and party hard. But they don’t really meet black women. Their main reason is that black women “are looking for something specific”. They go on to say that black women like the “corporate thug type”; the guy that came from the hood, played sports in college, joined a frat, works out 24-7, went into the corporate world and converted their street knowledge into a huge pay check.

Yes, it sounds like a fairytale. But does this guy really exist?

Well, I also hear that this guy is pretty rare but when he does appear black women swoon and would rather fight over or share him than find a nice simple black man with a decent check.

Is this really true? Did all the black women get together and decide that they want this one specific type of man? If it is just a stereotype, where did it start? To find out, I decided to do some investigating.  So I asked Google what it thinks about black women. Luckily I did get some good answers about black women, but unfortunately the word gold digger came up.

After exploring my personal relationships and experiences I figured out why black women get this nasty label put upon them:

1. Women In General Communicate Needs And Wants Differently – Women speak a different language and men have a hard time deciphering. It’s like when I do something stupid and I ask my wife what is wrong and she says nothing,and then I ask her 18 more times and she says nothing and then a week later she tells me what is wrong.

My point here has to do with my wife’s friend. She was dating this guy who doesn’t believe in God and her father is a pastor. Her father told her to leave him and she did. She met another guy who seems kind of like a loser; he didn’t have a good job and he’s basically floating around hoping something comes to him. Overall, he is kind of a slimy fellow.  Well, her ex-boyfriend recently got a great job and all of a sudden she is trying to mend the relationship and get back with him.

Her main reason is that her current boyfriend is a 30-something with no career and her non-God fearing ex-boyfriend persevered, reached his goals and is making a lot of money. Is she really a gold digger? No, she says her reason for not wanting to stay with her current boyfriend is that her ex-boyfriend is making a good living. But what she really means to say is “I am dating a loser for no reason and I am really in love with my ex- who my dad made me break up with and I’d rather be with him.”

Does Money Make Or Break A Relationship?

2. Black Women Have To Be Cautious – Some black men have a hard time with motivation. I’ve been there so I understand. Society tells us that we can’t really aspire to having a career unless it involves a ball, a mic or a scale. I am not clowning anybody here, because I have been there and plenty of my friends are still there.Unfortunately way too many sisters have been burned by these types of guys.

He’s sitting around waiting on a record deal or for his friend to get into the NBA so that he can have money. Meanwhile, time is wasting away. She is saying we can’t even go out to dinner, and the guy reads that as “I want a free meal from a man”. No, she really wants to spend some quality time with YOU!

3. White Women Are Gold Diggers Too – For some reason a white gold digger just gets looked at differently. She is looked at as a singular being, if she is beautiful and blonde, she is treated like she has the right to be a gold digger. It’s like she probably couldn’t do anything else but use her looks to get paid. If a black woman is a gold digger she is a coniving b**** and she also represents all black women.

4. Women Crave Security – All women like to wake up in the morning knowing that their job is steady, their bills are paid, their man loves them and their house is clean. So when a black woman questions a man to find out where his head is at, it immediately sound like gold digging. No, she is looking for a secure man. Is that too much to ask for?

5. Fear Of Baby Mama Status - Sadly, a lot of women have seen what their mother’s went through; raising children on one income, struggling to get by or watching them get abused by a bad father. Coupled with the images of black man in the news, in music, videos and in movies. The fear of a black man turning a woman into a baby mama is at an all time high! Again, women have to move cautiously.

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8 dating turnoffs that men do

(From nytimes.com)

Two things happened to Sandra Bullock this month. First, she won an Academy Award for best actress. Then came the news reports claiming that her husband is an adulterous jerk. So the philosophic question of the day is: Would you take that as a deal? Would you exchange a tremendous professional triumph for a severe personal blow?

Nonetheless, if you had to take more than three seconds to think about this question, you are absolutely crazy. Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being. If you have a successful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy. If you have an unsuccessful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled.

This isn’t just sermonizing. This is the age of research, so there’s data to back this up. Over the past few decades, teams of researchers have been studying happiness. Their work, which seemed flimsy at first, has developed an impressive rigor, and one of the key findings is that, just as the old sages predicted, worldly success has shallow roots while interpersonal bonds permeate through and through.

READ MORE OF THIS STORY HERE

Dwyane Wade slams ex-wife, wants sole custody of kids

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Are you controlling your money, or is your money (and debt) controlling you? Basic personal finance may not be that interesting to most women in their 20s or 30s, but it’s one of the keys to a happy, fulfilled life!

These money tips from the horses’ mouth: the female financial gurus over at Women & Co:

Money Tips for Women in Their 20s

1. Set Financial Goals. The first step to putting together a financial plan is to identify what you want, when you want it, and what it will take to achieve it. Be sure to write down your goals so you have something to refer back to as you plan.

4 ways to get your finances in order for 2010

2. Live On a Budget. A budget doesn’t have to be onerous and it’s a key component of a solid financial plan. Start by writing down your monthly income, track and total how much you are spending monthly, and determine your debt-repayment obligations (i.e., credit card, student loans). After calculating your monthly expenditures, subtract that from your total monthly income. Allocate the amount you have left over toward savings. If you’re falling short on savings, think creatively about ways to cut spending.

Click here for more tips.

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7 “money personalities” to avoid when dating

Carnival is one of the biggest cultural events taking place annually on the small Caribbean island of Trinidad. Accordingly it is no surprise that citizens are against taking funds away from the celebration in order to pay the huge 10 million dollars in production costs necessary for Beyonce to perform there this February.

According to Theybf, Trinidadians are in an uproar at the fact that the government is reducing funding for the Carnival celebration taking place this February in order to afford Beyonce’s sky high production costs, which they argue are actually in upwards of 30 million dollars. Ybf quotes Trini promoters as saying:

’We want to discuss with TSTT the position they have taken to present Beyonce in concert so soon after Carnival and their decision to cut back and even pull sponsorship of Carnival events. We understand they have also cancelled [sic] the B-Square concert series at Woodford Square for this year. TSTT has contributed greatly to Carnival over the years and this is a surprise move. We want to know what their commitment to Carnival is,’ Fernandes said.

Fernandes also said he believes that the production cost of $10 million for the concert as quoted in the media to be lower than what the actual cost for such an event should be. Fernandes explained that it costs that much to produce the Soca Monarch final, which he did since the competition’s inception. So that when one adds Beyonce’s contract rider (expenses and other requests) and the cost to prepare the venue for the concert one is looking at a final cost of possibly $30 million, he added.

’They will need to prepare the venue to accommodate the 25,000-plus audience, they need to break even and when you take into consideration what may be on Beyonce’s rider, that can be an additional three quarter million or more,’ he added.

’We have nothing against Beyonce. We are just saying that it is insensitive to bring her at this time. It will affect all Carnival stakeholders because you know it’s not just a case of people forgoing fetes and shows to buy tickets. What about those who depend on Carnival to earn income? No patrons at events or no events mean that all service providers are out of a dollar. And what about the artistes that all came out in defence [sic] of bmobile when Digicel came into Trinidad? As a corporation of which 51 per cent is Government-owned, TSTT needs to provide answers to the cultural fraternity,’ Fernandes said.

Whether or not the issue of the concert is actually up to debate with governing officials is unknown, but it seems like Trini’s want no part of the queen Bey if it means compromising their Carnival. And honestly, who would give up a week of partying, cultural celebration and festivities for a few hours of Beyonce. While we all love Bey, perhaps now is just not the time for her to bless the Trini stage.

Check out this video of Beyonce performing on New Years Eve to see what the Trinidadian audience just might miss out on:

Was Beyonce flirting with Usher on NYE?

Take a look at our Beyonce gallery:

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Beyonce’s “Heat” commercial

Blogger Sandra Rose’s investigative eye can be a little off sometimes, but she may be right about this one.

Music mogul and egomaniac Sean “Diddy” Combs took another grand opportunity to flaunt his wealth in everyone’s faces while when he ripped up a $50 bill on camera.

But according to the U.S. Treasury Department, it is against federal law to flagrantly deface, mutilate, spindle, impair, [or] diminish, federal bank notes in use or circulation as money within the U.S. (18 U.S.C. 331).

We know this won’t send him to jail or anything, but it’d be nice to see him, who somehow comes out of drama drama unscathed, come under a little fire.

Cassie Shuts Down Diddy’s Vegas Party

RUMOR: Diddy Bans Black Women From NYE Party

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Being able to successfully save money is one of the most important things that you can do in order to prepare for your financial future. Here are some tips to help you preserve more of your paycheck from goodhousekeeping.com:

1. Visit grocery stores’ websites to find valuable savings coupons that you can print and take with you when you go shopping. When it’s not prohibited, combine coupons issued by the store and those offered by the manufacturer for the same item.

2. Take advantage of savings programs from drugstore and discount chains. When you combine drugstores’ automatic-rebate programs with their coupons and sales, you can occasionally wind up getting certain items for free. In some cases, you can even receive money back! For the latest national-drugstore bargains, visit couponmom.com.

How to throw a New Year’s Eve Party

3. Sign up for free samples of health and beauty products online. You can order them at sites such as freeflys.com, mysavings.com, startsampling.com, and Wal-Mart’s instoresnow.walmart.com. You may need to answer a few questions, but you generally won’t have to pay for shipping. And at these sites, you won’t be put on spam lists.

4. Sign up for store loyalty cards. You’ll get generous coupons for products that you tend to buy regularly.

5. Ask how a particular promotion works. For example, a “10 for $10″ sale may not require that you purchase 10 items; you might be able to buy only what you need and still get the reduced price. (Use a coupon, and you just might end up paying nothing.)

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Click here for more cost saving tips

3 habits to break in 2010

The Sucker
These men are sweet and generous, but there’s a fine line between being giving and being taken advantage of. We’re not talking about the guys who donate a portion of their salary to their favorite charity. We’re talking about men who golddiggers flock to because they can sense his inability to say “no.” Maybe it’s the sister who “needs” a designer jacket, or the buddy who buys that big-screen TV before he can actually afford it. You name it, he’ll open his wallet. This kind of man might bode well for you if you’re looking for someone to buy you bobbles, but his bank account will dry up in no time.

The Procrastinator
While these guys may be sensitive and carefree, they simply can’t hold onto their money. Balancing their checkbooks is never top of mind, but they’ll get to it… eventually. Procrastinators use their debit cards far too often – like it’s some kind of magical money card – only to have their mystical beliefs shattered when they discover they owe $75 in overdraft fees.  Don’t be surprised if these men come running to you to help them get out of deep water. These guys live paycheck to paycheck in a never-ending cycle. If you find yourself falling for the Procrastinator, save yourself some hassles – and dollars – by keeping your finances separate.

VIDEO: Does Size Matter To You?

The Money Tracker
These men love money so much that they actually track every penny they spend in an Excel worksheet. In your time of need, they can be very understanding and may even lend you money to help out. But borrower beware! Even if you’re this guy’s significant other, he’ll consider the amount borrowed a loan. While these men won’t hold it over your while you’re dating, the minute you dump them, they’ll make you pay them back before the break-up is final – with interest to boot. And if you’re not borrowing cash, you better believe the Money Tracker is keeping tabs on every time you “go dutch.” He’s always a little too quick to remind you that he paid for lunch or that you owe him a coffee too.

The One-Upper
These men are all about using their money to win your heart. They’ll spend big to make a big impression, but don’t be fooled. The One Upper isn’t opening his wallet out of the goodness of his heart; it’s all a game. He may buy you gifts for no reason or plan over-the-top date nights. And the longer you date, the more “impressive” he gets. But it’s the competition that drives him, not his adoration for you. After buying him a watch, he quickly runs out and buys you the most expensive Rolex he can find. You’ll only experience anxiety because nothing you do will ever be good enough.

Can A Man Change His Cheating Ways?

READ THE REST HERE!

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Studies show that unemployment has reached a 25 year high, and with so many people unemployed or under-employed, we are asking should women start to pay for dates? If we look at dating traditionally, then it would be a form of courtship.  That means that single people are dating to eventually find the one to marry and that requires a partnership. Partnerships are what we are working on down the road by dating now, so we are all trying to put our best foot forward–right?

The Thought That Should Count

Men that do not have jobs can not afford to date and that is because society has an expectation that they will pay. However, women that do not have jobs can afford to date because it is not an expectation that we pay but now that the economy has gotten so ruff  we should start. He can not always bare all of the burden of paying for the dating/entertaining so here are the guideline for when you should make sure that you have your purse handy:

1)  3:1 ratio: After he has paid three times you pay once. And you pay for the whole date like he did, that goes for everything including the tip.

2) When you are visiting his home: This is old school but if your guy says that he will be cooking dinner at his house then you bring something. The dessert, a bottle of wine or the new Jay-Z CD, never show up empty handed–not a good look!

3) His birthday or promotion at his job: This may sound obvious, but if you ask him what he wants for his birthday, and he says dinner then you should pay for it. He is just a passenger, you are the driver it’s your gift.

Gabrielle Union: “Oral Sex Is Recession Proof”

Check out the hottest celeb pics on the net:

Lloyd decided to take to his blog to further explain the comments he made about Ciara turning into a “Hollywood B*tch,” but don’t expect an apology anytime soon.

“Let’s set the record straight on my “Hollywood B*tches” comment in Hip Hop Weekly. I said what I said and I stand by it. But read exactly what I said, then judge me. The truth is, I don’t f*ck with Hollywood B*tches (or Hollywood Ni**as for that matter). No, I’m not calling Ciara a b*tch, I’m saying that I think celebrity status changed her for the worse, and because of that, we don’t get down anymore.

Yesterday I spoke to CiCi for the first time in years. I called her to explain my comments and to let her know how I felt about the situation. We had a good one-on-one conversation that will remain between us. I respect and I love CiCi like family, but sometimes family are the only ones that will tell you the truth. I’m sure I could have found a better way to tell her, but what’s done is done. We’re moving on.

The funny thing is, this Ciara question was the last question in the HHW interview. At first, I lied and made up some answer to make it seem like we were still cool. But when I hung up the phone, I felt like I shoulda just kept it real, so I called back and answered the question honestly. Maybe a little too honestly. But fair is fair, if I start acting Hollywood, someone that knew me before the fame should call me out too. I wish CiCi the best.”

Do you think he was too harsh?

___

“Lloyd Puts Ciara On Blast”

I’m guessing that R&B singer Lloyd has cut ties with his high school pal Ciara, because he recently told Hip Hop Weekly Magazine,”I don’t f**k with Hollywood b***hes and she’s like one of the chicks that’s just changed along the way with the fame and the money and all of that. I don’t really get down with her anymore on some real shit. The truth hurts, but it will set you free. But I wish her all the best.”

Ciara gets cornrowed!

The star befriended the “Goodies” hitmaker when they were both teenagers living in Atlanta, Georgia but Lloyd admits he has since lost touch with Ciara, hinting her ego has gotten the better of her.

Take a look at Ciara below:

TRAILER: Ciara’s “Mama I Wanna Sing”

Can you remember life before $100 sneakers and $5 coffee, when people actually lived on what they earned and still had a little something socked away for a rainy day? The economy may be in the doldrums, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live well.

Here are some tips from sheknows.com:

Use third party services to access events
I’m all about taking advantage of the culture offered in one of the best cities in the nation, and I’m not going to let a little pesky cash crunch stop me! I’ve utilized things like rush discounts and sites like goldstar.com to get heavily reduced prices for theater tickets, shows, concerts, etc. Goldstar.com offers tickets to events in your city, often for half the price of the box office. And many theaters hold some last-minute rush tickets at discounted rates. You just have to be flexible. Another option is to buy tickets early and get the cheapest seats available. I’ve watched many Broadway musicals from the nosebleeds, but I only paid $25 for my seat. I’d much rather have seen it from far away than not seen it at all!

Single? Start saving now!!

Happy hour is truly happy
If you need a night out, plan ahead to take advantage of drink or food specials during a happy hour. My favorite happy hour is a sushi place near me that offers a happy hour menu where everything is five dollars. We can each get a drink, a sushi roll and split an appetizer for $25. Sounds good to me! Prix Fixe is another good way to go, if you’re looking for quantity AND savings! Deals exist at even the trendiest spots, you just have to seek them out.

Become a member
My husband and I are members at several museums around the city. This means we get virtually free entertainment. All our memberships have been $100. Memberships include admittance for the member and a guest. Considering most museums cost about $25 per person for a one-time entrance, we just have to go together twice, and we’ve paid for it. In some cases, we frequent the museums a couple times a month. It’s a great way to experience the culture of a city without putting up much cash.

By doing a bit of planning and evaluating, there’s no reason you have to choose between spending a ton of money, or staying home on a Saturday night!

How to build a wardrobe on a budget

Check out the hottest celeb pics on the net!

Lisa Raye was on the Foxxhole radio show and spoke about what a man needs to have before he can step to her:

Take a listen:

LisaRaye gets freaky with radio DJ

Conde Nast sues Turks & Caicos over LisaRaye’s ads!

Take a look at LisaRaye below:

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When September rolls around, the expenses add up fast: new clothes, school supplies, backpacks and extra stuff you didn’t even know you had to buy. If your budget is especially tight this year-and whose isn’t!-these 10 cost-cutting tips will help you send your kids back to class for a lot less cash:

1) CREATE A BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING LIST

Make a list of all the supplies your child will need. Some teachers will provide you with certain supplies your child may need. Be sure to include that list in your master school supply list to ensure you don’t miss anything.

2) SET A BUDGET TO SAVE MONEY ON BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING

Save money on back to school shopping by setting a budget. Set a certain amount that you want to dedicate to school shopping. This way, you will not go over your limit and not spending more than you planned on.

5 ways to make your dorm room feel like home

3) SHOP AT STORES WHERE THERE ARE SALES AND DISCOUNTS

Save money by shopping at stores with sales and discounts. You can find lots of discounted back to school items at Dollar Stores. Try shopping at stores such as Walmart, Target, TJ Max and Kmart for clothing and Dollar Stores for school supplies.

4) COMPARE PRICES AND USE COUPONS

You can do a price comparison online to see what stores have back to school sales and what stores are offering coupons for certain items to save on back to school items.

5) HOLD OFF ON BUYING CLOTHES

Most children return to school when it’s still warm. Wait to buy fall clothes in late September or October, when they’re on sale.

Dorm room do’s and don’t's

(from redbook.com)

I don’t know about you, but when I’m worried about money, it’s really hard for me to focus on anything else, whether it’s work, my friendships, or my relationships. In fact, I spent this past weekend knee-deep in receipts and credit card statements, determined to get a better hold on my finances-and sticking to a budget. I made some cuts, including cancelling my gym membership and relying on the kindness of free passes given out by health clubs, deals offered by yoga centers, and good old-fashioned pavement pounding.

With my finances in such a flux, it’s almost a relief to NOT be in a relationship. So many of my married friends are having money meltdowns on a daily basis-and they’re not alone. Apparently, 23% of couples say they work together to plan their financial lives.

But, there is hope. Here are three ways to make sure your relationship isn’t ruined by finances.

1. Go for a goal
Figuring out your financial goals may sound daunting, but it’s nothing to dread: Sit down regularly to make a list – without consulting each other – of your money and life goals for three time periods: the short term (six months down the road), mid-term (six months to three years) and long term (over three years). Then, bring those to your partner to compare and see which goals you want to work to together.

2. Talk about Cash-Even if you’re in a crunch
The best way to keep money fights at bay is to have regular pre-appointed money dates. During your money dates, make sure neither of you is stressed out or tired and that you don’t have a big project (like filing your taxes) looming over you.

3. Take account of all your accounts
When it comes to managing accounts – his? hers? ours? mine? – every couple has to find their own solution, which may take some time. The important thing is to take an honest look at both of your financial styles and set up a system that suits you, and also to be flexible and reassess it as your incomes and priorities evolve.

Click here for more.

Check out the hottest celebs pics on the net!!

–>

If people marry for love and 50% of them end up divorced perhaps we should start marrying for other reasons. I, for one, am leaning very close to marrying for money.

I recall a cool dude who told me that he wouldn’t mind if a woman was interested in him for his money and all that he could provide.

“Doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact if you are around me and you don’t want anything to do with my lifestyle I’m thinking something is wrong with you.”

“Really, so you could marry a gold digger?”

“Sure, as long as she is giving me what I want in return.”

“Like what?”

“Sex and lots of it, keep a clean house, raise kids well.”

“You won’t feel used?”

“Hell no, look I’m a man. I know what my role is and what women want. Most men who work hard do so, so that they can meet women.”

Ladies, men see right through “I don’t want you for your house, car, cash…I love you for who you are.” You might as well spit in their face for you have just insulted their ego. I don’t know why women tell this lie, mostly to themselves, as a way to prove they aren’t shallow.

Well damn it, I’m shallow!…READ THE REST HERE!

Can’t get enough of the SG stuff?

Follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl or check out www.saysthesinglegirl.com

UPDATE: Kelis is getting back at Nas by filing court documents that states the rapper has only contributed $350 and $2500 in gift cards for their unborn child since April. Really Nas?? Gift cards???

Take a look at the court document:

These men really need to step their fatherhood game up!!!!

Nas writes father’s day letter

Nas is firing back at Kelis in their bitter divorce case.  The rapper claims he’s paid her more than she says and he makes less than she thinks.

According to tmz.com, Kelis claims Nas raked in $11 million for his album deal. Nas fired back in legal papers, “I did not receive even half that amount”… claiming it’s more like $4 mil. Nas claims his income is declining, and he’s only pulling in $147,165 a month.

As for what he spends …. $71,371.96 a month, which includes $10,000 a month in clothing/hair/toiletries/personal effects.(REALLY!!!!)

Judge denies new court date for Kelis

Kelis, who is about to give birth to their child, claims Nas hasn’t paid a penny for child or spousal support since he left her. Nas, who says he wants to be “fully involved” in the parenting of their child, claims he’s agreed to pay $350 for a stroller, $450 for a baby sling and $1,598 for two cribs.

Nas thinks $5,000 a month is reasonable for child support since the kid will just be a newborn.

We just want to know when is Kelis going to drop this baby????

Check out the couple in happier times below:

Did Nas throw Patron in Kelis’ face?

The Case of Ms. Rowe vs Mrs. Jackson

As if anyone is surprised, the money grabbers are quickly positioning themselves to make claims on the estate of late pop icon Michael Jackson.

At the center of the squabble is the legal guardianship for under aged children Prince Michael age 10, Paris age 9 and Prince Michael II age 5, who inherited most of the mega millionaire’s estate. Whoever gets the children will get the money!

In the Last Will and Testament of Michael Jackson, he clearly states that he wants his mother, Katherine Jackson age 79, to raise his children as his first choice and if she wasn’t able to do so, singer and friend Diana Ross to be his second choice. Nowhere is the biological mother of the first two children, Debbie Rowe mentioned as being considered legal guardian, nor is there any mention of the surrogate mother of the third child, Prince Michael II. In spite of the fact that Ms. Rowe relinquished her parental rights years ago and hasn’t seen her children in as many years, there are rumors of her considering a legal request as their biological guardian.

There are two issues up for question, is Debbie Rowe mentally and emotional capable of care giving? And, will the courts follow the last requests of Michael Jackson, allowing Katherine Jackson to be legal guardian in spite of her age? Who is the best caregiver and what do the planets say?

Debbie Rowe is a Sagittarius, born 12/6/1958. Her chart shows a number of crisis aspects and a preponderance of planets in the sign of Sagittarius, suggesting that even though she can be enthusiastic with an adventurous spirit, that she can also have a strong need for freedom. So, caring for children might prove to be too demanding, and the emotional requirements for being a parent might be a bit challenging for her cosmic profile. One more thing…Ms. Rowe might have big time problems with holding onto money.

Negative aspects between her Jupiter and Neptune indicate that she may not be realistic when it comes to finances and that might explain why after her reported 8 million dollar settlement with Michael Jackson that she lives, according to reports a less than middle class life style! I think her present state of concern of her biological children and her finances should be carefully considered as her being the overseer of a multimillion dollar estate!

Katherine Jackson is a Taurus, born 5/4/ 1930, her charts indicates that her Moon in Cancer is the perfect moon for nurturing, loving and care giving! But, the issue isn’t whether she can be a good guardian; it’s her age and if she has the stamina to care of three underage children. Mars represents energy in the chart and her Mars being in the pure energy sign of Aries suggests that Mrs. Jackson has a lot of ‘get up and go’ not just for her age, but for any age, that being that she is in good health and since publically, there hasn’t been any outward indication of health issues, it is suggested that Ms. Jackson has the stamina it takes to keep up with her responsibilities. One last thing, Katherine Jackson, according to her cosmic profile, her Mercury is in the sign of Gemini. This indicates that she is alert, she is mentally agile and she is a quick thinker!

Unless the courts are deaf, dumb and blind the choice between who should be the legal guardian of Michael Jackson’s children should be obvious….truly in the case of Katherine Jackson, ‘age ain’t nothing but a number!’

UPDATE: Kelis may have her baby before she gets a dime from Nas for her pre-natal expenses and baby clothes.

According to tmz.com, Kelis has been asking the judge to make Nas pay for pre-natal expenses and necessary baby items.

Right now a hearing is set for July 21, but there’s a hitch…Kelis may be in labor during the hearing, and she’s in desperate need of cash,  So her lawyer went to court asking to move the hearing date up.

Sadly for Kelis, the judge was on vacation and the substitute judge wouldn’t mess with the court calendar.

We feel bad for pregnant Kelis!!!

UPDATE: Nas is finally speaking out, in typical celeb fashion…he’s blogging!!!!  Nas just wrote a blog about the importance of protecting family and “our woman.”

Check out what he has to say:

Nas writes on Global Grind: “Right now I’m shouting out to real dads. Some are great role models with real academic achievements. Some are not … We deserve the love!!! We put up with everything, standing true to what’s real and letting life take its course protecting our household, our woman, our children, our family … Biggest Shout To My Son On The Way!!”

Nas, why don’t you give Kelis a shout out and let her know you’re going to take care of your baby!!

UPDATE: Kelis wants Nas to pay up!!!  The singer, expected to deliver her first child next month, said in a court filing she wants her soon-to-be ex-husband to give her $20,000 a month for baby supplies.

According to tmz.com, Kelis says from 11/08 to 4/09, her average monthly income was $21,616. Hardly poor, but way less than what she and Nas were pulling in while she was with him.

The singer has some pretty hefty expenses — $80,831 a month … way more than she says she makes.
Kelis makes her money from touring, but hasn’t toured in over a year. Her monthly expenses include:

$14,861 on her mortgage, nanny costs $3,500 a month, $15,000 a month on entertainment, gifts and vacations — and wait for it…. $175 to have the “baby rug dry cleaned.”

And then we have this:

Kelis says she wants to buy “storage to bank the baby’s blood when he is born. The banking is the collection and storage of the stem cells found in the baby’s umbilical cord.” It’s used to treat 70 life-threatening diseases. It all costs $$.

SMH!!!!

What do the planets have in store for Nas and Kelis?

Kelis says Nas has left her high and dry and that she’s broke. The singer says, “I have run out of money.”

According to tmz.com, Kelis filed legal papers claiming Nas isn’t paying her support, pre-natal expenses — nothing, even though she claims he is filthy rich.

Did Nas throw patron in Kelis’ face?

Kelis wants the judge to order Nas to pay spousal support, child support, all pregnancy-related expenses, and one-half of all medical expenses after the child is born. She also wants $3,500 for the baby’s nurse after the child’s birth, and $20,000 for strollers, cribs and other baby supplies.

Kelis may want to get a job, she’s being real xtra right now!!!

Kelis says, “My survival is based on [Nas'] will at this time. If he does not want to pay for an expense, it does not get paid.”

Seems like she’s used to living a certain lifestyle, but now that the marriage is over, she needs to wake up and deal with the fact that it’s all about providing for the baby. Her lavish lifestyle is now out the door.

The couple have five homes, and Kelis is used to the fancy restaurants and expensive jewelry, which includes a princess-cut diamond tennis bracelet that was recently appraised for $190,000.

Kelis says: “My engagement ring is an approximately nine-carat cushion-cut diamond solitaire. I have numerous watches…such as Cartier, Rolex, Frank Muller and Chopard.”

Her lawyer reach out to Nas for money for both Kelis and the baby but he has not responded.

We hope Nas will do the right thing and take care of his child.

Check out the couple in happier times:

Kelis goes in on cheating husbands.

There’s no denying, men lie. Not all men, but the ones who do, lie a lot. The odd thing is, they never seem to learn which lies work and which don’t. Here are 5 things guys lie about:

1) How many women we’ve slept with:
Some lie because they’re embarrassed they’ve slept with too many and some lie because they’re embarrassed that they’ve slept with too few.

Can you forgive a cheater.

2) How much money we make:
The men who make too much money usually keep it a secret because they don’t want to seem like some dirtbag who flashes his bank statements to get women (if they’re not worried about that, then you should be worried about what kind of guy he is). But lots of others fudge the figure in their favor. Mostly we don’t lie outright. We just kind of lead you to believe we’re a little better off than we are.

3) How we feel about going to visit your parents:
They may love your man. You mom might really make the world’s greatest chicken pot pie. But when he says he can’t wait to go, when he says there’s nothing he’d rather be doing, just appreciate it. Because, seriously, think about it: there are 7694 things he’d rather be doing.

(from glamourmag.com)

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10 mistakes men make in relationships.

When someone that you’re sleeping with is giving you money, a fine line between “well-kept” and “prostitute” is drawn. Hey, we didn’t make the rules – that’s just how it works. So what happens when you have a Sugardaddy? Well, you’re technically “dating” him, but if he’s married, you’re his mistress. So you sleep with him, and he buys you things, or gives you money to buy things yourself. But wait – doesn’t sex + money = prostitution???

Confused yet? The Frisky tries to clear things up. Read the article below.

[From TheFrisky.com]

This weekend’s New York Times Sunday Magazine had a lengthy feature on SeekingArrangements.com, an online dating site which matches affluent men (or at least men willing to shill out what money they have) with women who are willing to trade companionship and often sex in exchange for money, gifts, and other perks. Half of these sugar daddies are married, while the vast majority of the sugar babies are in their ‘20s. The best news of all for these guys? Sugar babies outnumber sugar daddies 10 to 1. Brandon Wade, Seeking Arrangement’s 38-year-old founder and chief executive, says, “We stress that these relationships are mutually beneficial. We ask people to really think about what they want in a relationship and what they have to offer. That kind of upfront honesty is a good basis for any relationship.”

Some of these men – especially those shopping for women half their age – are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, they’re still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women…. Men may use money as a way to buy themselves out of the normal obligations of romance, like accommodating a woman’s emotional needs as much as their own. But despite the power and security that the money buys, it can also undercut the very ego it’s intended to boost.

In those cases where sex occurs between the daddy and baby, some of the women say that an attraction is necessary, while others are quick to ‘fess up that if not for the lavish gifts and money, the relationship wouldn’t exist. “It would be nice not to have the money involved,” says B.K., one of the sugar daddies interviewed for the story. “You always wonder: would she still want to be with me even without the money? Does the money make me more attractive than I really am?”

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10 Signs You’re Just A Jumpoff