In the past I’ve written about my personal brushes with mental illness within my family, my mother to be exact. She is Paranoia Schizophrenic. I’ve candidly described the shame and frustration of not understanding how a chemical imbalance could cause such an upheaval in my family and even to this day have a tough time wrapping my fingers around it. I also pleaded for others to educate themselves more before making assumptions and throwing judgements when somebody goes over the edge and commits a heinous crime, due to a lack of medication or simply going undiagnosed.

As passionate as my online advocacy may be there is still a large percentage of the population who remain ignorant, in denial, and in the dark about mental disorders & illness. “If I don’t see it, it does not exist”

I’ll never forget the evening that he opened up to me about his anxiety disorder. Everything began to make sense, the intense scheduling, and the acute sense to detail, the hard time keeping and making plans, the spontaneity. If I hadn’t been dealt the schizophrenic card earlier in life, I would’ve assumed he was a cheating mess. I became engulfed in Google as I searched through forums for an answer…Was this worth staying in?

I’d never had to sacrifice in this way before and it came naturally to me. I generally wanted to be a support and that’s all I could be.

It was not the severity of schizophrenia or depression, and you will never know that he lives with the disorder, but it affected him nonetheless. In relationships with friends, family and lovers one of our responsibilities is to ensure that the other person feels supported by us.

When you are no longer willing to sacrifice or be supportive, perhaps due to the other person’s willingness to reciprocate on some level, that’s when you know a relationship has probably come to the end of its rope.

If you are feeling someone with a mental illness or disorder, do your research and talk to your mate about it. Find out how they take care of themselves and function daily, and most importantly be honest with yourself and your limitations.

What happens when s&%t gets real and the person you have come to know as your significant other reveals to you that they have a mental disorder or illness? They have managed to function daily with the aid of medication or therapy. Their episodes are not as frequent and they are simply ready for love, your love.

Do you run? Stay? Stick it out?

What happens when things get even more real and you find out before your partner does that they need help?

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1. Listen to music.
Studies show that listening to the music you like can have a positive impact on your life and happiness. “Plus, music can trigger memories, give a sense of youthfulness and nostalgia, and take people into different places,” says Karol Ward, L.C.S.W., author of Find Your Inner Voice. “So put on your earphones and let those sounds take you from restless to restful.”

2. Start a blog.
Start a simple blog on something you’re passionate about. Blogging is a great outlet for channeling your thoughts while connecting and sharing your interests with others. “I love blogging during my ‘me’ time,” says Sunny Sea Gold, Glamour health editor and founder of healthygirl.org. “The stuff I blog about is body image and overcoming emotional eating, two things that are super close to my heart. The fact that I’m so passionate about it is what makes the writing so enjoyable and therapeutic. That and getting to know the amazing women who read and comment.”

3. Reorganize your life.
Living and working in a sea of clutter can stress you out without your even realizing it. Each week, spend a few hours clearing out your office or reorganizing your apartment. “Cleaning is therapeutic,” says Elizabeth Kari, 21, from Chicago. “It creates order in my life, and I always feel ready to begin the next day with a fresh, clear start.”

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4. Take a power nap.
That’s right. Sleep doctor Michael Breus suggests spending your “me” time sleeping. Just a quick 25-minute power nap and you’ll wake up refreshed and ready to get up and go. To get the most out of this time, try spraying a lavender mist on your pillow. “The smell of lavender eases anxiety and helps you fall asleep,” says Dr. Breus. “In the end it’s about the quality, not quantity, of your sleep.”

5, Send your mind on vacay.
Can’t get away? Visualize it! Imagining yourself in a place that has brought you peace and happiness is a quick, free and clinically proven way to cleanse your mind and enhance your mood. “Picture all the sights, smells and sounds of that wonderful spot,” says Amy Spainhower, director of creative services at metime.com, a company aimed at spreading the “me”-time message. “Just enjoy the feeling of pleasure that comes your way from ‘visiting’ your vacation destination.” READ MORE HERE!

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Everyone gets down occasionally, sometimes you have a good reason, other times you’re down for reasons unbeknownst even to yourself, but you’re still down. And then we all moan and bitch about being depressed until we snap out of our mood and carry on life as normal.

Because everyone, at some time, feels like this, people brush off when someone is actually suffering from depression like it’s no big deal. People tell them to snap out of it, toughen up, get up out of bed and move on. The fact that depression is a real psychological illness which needs actual care seems to elude a lot of people, because “depression” is just something that everyone feels on occasion. If you let it get the better of you, then it’s a sign of emotional weakness, not a disease.

But the facts are that depression is a serious disease. In fact, “depression is one of the most common health conditions in the world,” which, if left untreated, can seriously alter the sufferer’s quality of life. Depression has even been found to be more damaging to your long-term health and well-being than chronic illnesses such as arthritis and diabetes. Therefore, our preconceived stereotypes of what is a “depression sufferer” need to be reassessed – and pronto.

Lasonda Wilkins-Hines, a licensed social worker specializing in depression, rationalizes that this stereotypical attitude of depression is seen with African-American’s especially because; “We come from a culture where we need to be strong as African-American women and it’s been passed down for generations that you suck it up or you talk to the pastor.” Psychologist Dr. Yolanda Brooks agrees, stating; “Black women tend to present themselves to society as strong, resilient human beings… you can trace this dynamic back to slavery, when a woman had to pretend she was okay when she was actually suffering inside.”

This social stigma is particularly relevant to African-Americans – of the nearly 20 million Americans who suffer from depression each year, African-American women are affected more than any other group! In 2009, the National Alliance on Mental Illness reported that only 12% of African-American women receive treatment for their depression, which, sadly, but perhaps tellingly, is the number one cause of suicides in this country.

Reading the case this week of the mother, LaShanda Armstrong, who drove off a pier, killing herself along with three of her four children, it struck me how isolating depression can be. The psychologist’s and police officers who spoke of the tragedy claimed that none of the woman’s family or friends noticed any depressive symptoms, and she hadn’t said anything to them, but clearly there was something going on, as she could think of no other avenue out, but suicide. Relatives and friends of the woman have said she was a “good mom…. she just needed a helping hand,” but (at least from what has so far been reported), no one thought to seek professional help for her. Maybe because, they didn’t know what symptoms to look for.

Dr. James Bolton, a Consultant Psychiatrist lists some common symptoms of depression to look out for in your loved ones, and urges people to seek help, for, “it can be helpful for people to talk about their problems and offload. It isn’t always easy to do but there’s a lot to be said for the ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ proverb.”

1. Physical changes
Dr. Bolton believes that sudden shifts in sleep patterns are a strong physical symptom of depression. “Finding it difficult to get off to sleep or waking up during the night, or too early in the morning are all potential physical signs,” he says. Also take notice of other physical changes; most notably, when someone starts losing their appetite and losing weight, libido and an interest in sex.

2. Mood Swings
In terms of personality change some people might be angrier than others and some might be more risk taking. However, as even a bad day at work, or a lot of traffic on the drive home can alter your mood, Dr. Bolton notes that mood changes may be only depressive symptoms when these changes are new. He says, “in terms of our personality we will all have a fuse of a certain length. So we will all get irritable under certain circumstances. But when someone is suffering from depression they find that their fuse is much shorter. They’ll fly off the handle at people quite close to them that they normally wouldn’t get angry with. Also things that they can normally tolerate and cope with will make them lose control.”

3. Fracturing relationships
Dr. Bolton notes that people with depression find it difficult to recognize what is happening to themselves and thus, become difficult to live with, especially if their partner is trying to help them, for they don’t recognize the problem. They begin to put in less time with their friends and family, and become increasingly moody.

If anyone you know looks like they are suffering from depressive symptoms, help them out. Don’t wait for another tragedy like LaShanda Armstrong and her children to occur before we acknowledge that depression is a serious illness.

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Having a clear sense of who you are, what you stand for and where you want to go in life can definitely help boost your self-esteem. Granted we all have different personalities, feeling great about your self and being happy are two things that are important to improve and maintain good mental and emotional health. Here are ways to instantly boost your bliss:

Always Humble Yourself - Be thankful for your life and adapt an attitude for gratitude! Knowing what you are thankful for forces you to see how the little things you might have overlooked or taken for granted play a role in your happiness.

Surround Yourself With Greatness – Happy successful people attract happy successful people. So always have a positive attitude, smile and surround yourself with good company.

Set Aside “Me” Time – This is the time that you “do you” aka whatever it is that makes you smile. Whether it’s a trip to the nail salon or putting together your life’s new “master” plan, always invest in yours elf.

Upgrade Your Lifestyle – Start by looking at all the ways you can improve your lifestyle from your diet and nutrition habits to your spending habits. Having a sense of improvement in these areas can be an instant self-esteem booster!

It’s a new year, why not boost your self-esteem and work on the new, and improved, healthier you!

Get health tips, recipes and more at yoplait.com/yoplaittoday.

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“I’m not crazy! I do not need to go see someone! I don’t need pills!” Sistas, how many times have you yourself uttered those phrases or heard another females say them?  In the urban community we sarcastically joke with the phrase “such and such is crazy”. That person may truly have a need for psychiatric care or even counseling but the idea of actually going to see a psychiatrist is taboo in the hood. In fact some people would rather their mind fade away into oblivion then to have to reveal their thoughts, and or emotional issues. Not only does it make you appear to be weak but there also is a strong distrust for the White mental health community.

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Researchers at Oregon Health & Science University recruited women, who were 18 or older and considered themselves African-American, scored 15 or higher on the Patient Health Questionnaire Depression scale, and reported intimate partner violence at some time in their lives.

Thirty women participated in four private focus groups facilitated by African-American female community members of the research team. The results are published online in the American Journal of Public Health. Study participants were asked about their experiences and beliefs surrounding the relationship between violence and health in general, mental health, depression, and depression treatments. They also were asked to discuss their recommendations for improving depression care. The researchers found one issue dominated discussions about depression care — the participants’ deep mistrust of what they perceived to be a “White” health care system.

These results are not surprising. I can think of at least three sistas in my life right now who at some point should have sought some sort of counseling or therapy.  Black women have been misguided into thinking that this is about not allowing someone to pump you full of “crazy” pills or take all of their money. This is about your well being and mental stability. Not only that, sometimes, everyone needs someone to talk to. Sometimes, you need help with being able to cope with your emotions.

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Black women enter this world with burdens that their White counterpart does not have or may never experience. Yet, it is perfectly acceptable for a White woman to seek out counseling or mental health help if she feels she needs it. She is not seen as weak, loopy or crazy. The veil of perceived ultimate strength that has blanketed Black women for years comes with a double edged sword. Yes, it keeps us centered, and focused. It allows us to be the pillar of strength for those around us. It also keeps us sick, with high blood pressure from stress, not eating right, and anxiety. At some point there has to be a balance. There has to be a release for the Black woman. When will we learn that bottling up emotions, fears, anxieties, etc is not healthy? When will the walls of distrust for the medical community crash down so that the Black community as a whole can get the medical attention that they desire and deserve? Saying that you are not crazy does not take away from the fact that you may need psychiatric attention.  Seeking help does not make you crazy. I’m not promoting Black women popping pills. I am promoting Black women getting help, if there is a need for it.

Via: PsychCentral.com

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According to mediatakeout.com, the document is a CONFIDENTIAL deposition taken of Andrea Williams, Siovaughn Wade’s CHILDHOOD friend and former personal assistant. And she drops some BOMBSHELLS on her former friend.

Take a look:

I have no words!!!

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What do you do if you’re feeling blue because of the financial crisis? Or if you’re just having an extremely lousy day? Here are nine strategies that can boost your mood right now in a happiness emergency. In the next thirty minutes, check off as many of the following items as possible. Each one will lift your spririts, as will the mere fact that you’ve tackled and achieved some concrete goals; by doing so, you boost your feelings of self-efficacy, which can boost happiness.

1. Boost your energy: stand up and pace while you talk on the phone or, even better, take a brisk ten-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up, and the activity and sunlight are good for your focus, your mood, and the retention of information. Plus, because of emotional contagion, if you act energetic, you’ll help the people around you feel energetic, too.

2. Reach out to friends: make a lunch date or send an email to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Having warm, close bonds with other people is the KEY to happiness, so take the time to stay in touch. Somewhat surprisingly, socializing boosts the moods not only of extroverts, but also of introverts.

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3. Rid yourself of a nagging task: answer a difficult email, do an errand you’ve been putting off, or call to make that dentist’s appointment. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of energy and relief.

4. Create a calmer environment: clear some physical and mental space around yourself by sorting papers, pitching junk, cleaning a closet, stowing supplies, sending out quick email responses, filing, or even just making your piles neater. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Try to get in the habit of using the one-minute rule — i.e., never postpone any task that can be completed in less than one minute. And always make your bed in the morning! For most people, outer order contributes to inner peace.

READ MORE OF THIS STORY HERE

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Hey Cupcakes,

It’s a fab new week!

As you may or may not know, Stephon Marbury has been livestreaming himself 24-7 on Ustream & Justin.TV through singing, dancing, screaming and crying jags, sleeping and sleep deprivation, fasting, eating Vaseline, and the like.  Some are saying that he’s on drugs; Others are proposing that he may be in the mania stage of bipolar disorder.  Some say he’s just having fun? What do you think?

There’s  a similar situation that I include in one of my books, my debut novel DARE, because I don’t feel like we discuss our mental health enough. We cry, we hurt, we’re human. The NBA when contacted for comment said that Stephon Marbury is an adult who can do as he pleases. There seem to be friends with Marbury in every shot. If he is having a breakdown and we are all witnessing it, are others liable for not truly having his back?

MARBURY, WHY HE’S STREAMING

MARBURY CRYING (AS WE ALL HAVE)

STEPHON’S PREROGATIVE, SHAKING IT OFF

Hey! I am a “reality” TV alum so I can’t judge folks letting it all hang out. If he needs help, I just would like one of those people in the video with him to get him treatment. As for me, I am enjoying writing in the summertime and had fun this weekend emceeing Blitz the Ambassador’s NYC album release show. How are you? Hit me up on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, blackplanet, or PlanetAbiola.com.

Have a great day being you- despite the haters!

XO

Abiola

Chewing gum is banned in most schools, but new research is showing that it might actually HELP you or your kids do better during crunch time! Read the article below.

[From CNN Health]

If you’re looking to curb your appetite and improve your memory, you’re probably exercising, eating healthier foods and trying to get some sleep.

Those things are all good, but maybe you should try chomping on a stick of sugar-free gum.

At least that’s what research funded by the Wrigley Science Institute and being presented at the Experimental Biology 2009 meeting this week may have you think. The data are part of a growing body of research that is giving Americans more reasons to pop some gum in their mouths and chew away.

One line of research suggests that gum should no longer be treated as contraband in schools. This newest study indicates that chewing gum can lead to better academic performance.

Researchers at the Baylor College of Medicine took 108 eighth-grade math students from a Houston, Texas, charter school and divided them into two groups, following them for 14 weeks. One group chewed gum while doing homework and during test-taking situations. The other group did not chew gum at all.

The results were surprising. The gum-chewing students had a 3 percent increase in their standardized math test scores compared with those who did not chew gum. Also, the students who chewed gum had better final grades compared with the non-chompers.

“Chewing gum is an easy tool students can use for a potential academic edge,” says Craig Johnston, Ph.D., the lead researcher and an instructor in nutrition at the Department of Pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine.

He also reports that teachers anecdotally found that students who chewed gum required fewer breaks, paid better attention and stayed quiet longer than those who did not.

To read the rest of this article, click here.

Chewing gum is just one of 10 great alternatives to snacking, and here are 7 foods you should not ignore.

Jamie Foxx almost walked away from his new movie about a schizophrenic musician, because the role was so intense it left him needing therapy.

Foxx plays homeless cello prodigy Nathanial Ayers in “The Soloist” and admits the role pushed him to the limit. According to the Chicago Sun Times, the actor said: “It was something that I enjoyed, but it shredded me. I went to places that I never thought I would ever go. I just remember being in my bathroom broke down, talking to my manager like, ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish this.’

“You had to lose your mind every day you’re on set, and sometimes you didn’t have enough time to get your mind back before the weekend.”

Foxx’s manager was so concerned, he even sent the star to a psychiatrist.

Jamie Foxx disses Miley Cyrus.

Foxx who won an Oscar for his portrayal of blind soul musician Ray Charles in the movie  ‘Ray’ – also had to learn new instruments for the role and admits it is one of his most challenging films to date.

He added: “It was easy and hard to learn to play the violin and cello. I love music, so that part was fascinating to me, although the hard part was looking like I was really gifted with these particular instruments.”

Foxx told the Los Angeles Times, he suffered a mental breakdown at an early age:

“When I was 18, somebody slipped something in my drink. And it ripped me apart. I had to go to the hospital. I mean, I was gone, it was the kind of trip that . . . you know you’re losing your mind. I kept thinking, ‘I can’t live like this.’ It didn’t go away, either — for 11 months, I had flashbacks. . . . “

Whew, Jamie sure takes his movie roles pretty seriously.

Check out Jamie’s “Blame It” video here.

In a small, yet interesting study, scientists have been able to determine the way a woman orgasms (e.g., vaginally or externally), simply based on the way she walks. Says Science Daily,

Led by Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland in collaboration with colleagues in Belgium, the study involved 16 female Belgian university students. Subjects completed a questionnaire on their sexual behavior and were then videotaped from a distance while walking in a public place. The videotapes were rated by two professors of sexology and two research assistants trained in the functional-sexological approach to sexology, who were not aware of the women’s orgasmic history.

The results showed that the appropriately trained sexologists were able to correctly infer vaginal orgasm through watching the way the women walked over 80 percent of the time. Further analysis revealed that the sum of stride length and vertebral rotation was greater for the vaginally orgasmic women. “This could reflect the free, unblocked energetic flow from the legs through the pelvis to the spine,” the authors note.

There are several plausible explanations for the results shown by this study. One possibility is that a woman’s anatomical features may predispose her to greater or lesser tendency to experience vaginal orgasm. According to Brody, “Blocked pelvic muscles, which might be associated with psychosexual impairments, could both impair vaginal orgasmic response and gait.” In addition, vaginally orgasmic women may feel more confident about their sexuality, which might be reflected in their gait. “Such confidence might also be related to the relationship(s) that a woman has had, given the finding that specifically penile-vaginal orgasm is associated with indices of better relationship quality,” the authors state. Research has linked vaginal orgasm to better mental health.

The study only involved 16 women, but it provides the basis for a very interesting topic. How do YOU walk?