Not only am I single and fertile, I am single and not quite ready to finance another being. I cannot fathom the idea of bringing a child into this world under my current circumstances. I must have my family, my king, my little angle, our palace etc. However sitting at this birthday party I looked around and although my cousins are not Trump Tower ballin’ in life, their children are very loved and have everything they would ever need.

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I don’t feel a sense of urgency to have a child yet, but I set the alleged clock older folks kept telling me about to a specific time. While its admirable to want to wait for whomever you worship to take the reins, or for prince Lance Gross to come along, there is also some element of planning that a woman needs to take in order for her to execute the dream of having a family.

What’s the right age to have a child? The beauty of this question is that in 2011, it’s up to a woman. What is your health like? A woman cannot possibly consider having a non-complicated pregnancy and labor if her health is not balanced. What is your love life like? We know that things don’t need to be kosher in this area in order to reproduce but are you willing to sacrifice sleep and sanity to raise a baby on your own? How is your financial situation? Will that baby have the opportunity to join expensive extra-curricular activities, go to college etc.

Are you unsure of when to start your family? Begin to tune everyone’s opinions out and focus on your own thoughts. Why do you want a family? Are you feeling pressured by anyone to start one? Do you feel as though a family will fill a void in your life? What are your fears? Spend a day or two with an actual family and offer to help out. If you’re a singleton like me with the desire to start a family, set a goal. I’m not playin’ either; we set goals for almost everything else in life why not our families?! I will see how this pans out. I promise to value my life and my body so that when the time comes, I’m ready to give my family the best of me.

HB family, what are your thoughts, do you have an age in mind when thinking about starting a family? What do you consider too old to have children? If you have already started your family is there anything you would’ve done differently before having children? I want to know!

About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Follow her on twitter @goddess_I

Nia Long “Sweetly Surprised” By Unplanned Pregnancy

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1. Plan outdoor activities
Set aside one day a weekend to do something active as a family: swimming in the summer, sledding or hiking in the winter, or biking in the spring and fall. Taking along a picnic lunch-and splurging on some healthy snacks after a good workout-will help the day go by without a complaint.

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2. Take classes together
Ask around at fitness clubs and community centers in your area about yoga or aerobics classes offered to parents and kids together. If your little one is too young to participate, look for classes that help you burn calories with your baby by incorporating them into your yoga moves or pushing them along during stroller workouts. No kids? Check out partner yoga or even “doga”-yup, yoga for you and your dog.

3. Redo your family room
Too often, family rooms are the center of laziness in a home: a comfy couch, a video-game console, a shelf full of DVDs, and nothing to encourage fitness or physical activity. There are ways to add in subtle reminders, however, without overhauling your entire room or dragging in a giant piece of workout equipment. Set a time limit on weekly television and incorporate these Skinny House essentials to keep your whole family moving.

To read more tips about staying active with your family, click here!

1. Remember that every moment with your child is a teachable moment. For example, when driving to school, show them the prices on gas stations and explain why they change so often. Explain the prices using concepts of demand and supply.

2. Take your children grocery shopping. While in a store, tell them they need to buy something small — cereal, for example. Give them money and tell them to pick one and to do it wisely. If they can count money, ask them to complete the purchase transaction on their own. Discuss what they did right and what they can do better next time.

3. Take your children to the bank and open a savings account in their name and request an ATM card for them. Once you receive the card, show them how to deposit cash using an ATM. Once in a while, show them how cash is withdrawn. Ask them to keep a running total of their balance.

READ MORE OF THIS STORY HERE

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For more selections go to www.top-toys-kids.com

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1. Winter Wonderland

Materials

• 9-ounce clear plastic cup
• Silver poster board
• Pinking shears or decorative craft scissors
• Polyester batting
• Miniature trees (sold in craft stores; try the dollhouse or model railroad section)
• Miniature animals or people (sold in craft stores or online at BJCRAFTSUPPLIES.COM)

• 1-inch-wide mirror
• Tacky glue
• Fine glitter
• Pushpin
• Monofilament
• Several craft beads

2. Dangling Snowman

Materials

• 3 round objects (we used a spice jar lid, the bottom of a yogurt container, and a mason jar lid)
• Scissors
• Craft foam, white and orange
• Glue dots

• Monofilament
• Buttons
• Permanent marker
• Ribbon

3. Lollipop Tree

Materials

• Corrugated cardboard that measures 9 inches across the base and 8 inches tall
• Craft knife
• Lollipops

• 11-inch wooden skewer
• Bottle cork
• Glue

Go to familyfun.go.com for directions

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Halloween is rapidly approaching and many of you are scrambling to choose from the left- over costumes that the more timely parents were kind enough to leave behind. Worry you not! HelloBeautiful has surveyed the net for some great alternatives to store-bought costumes that will leave your pockets less strained this Halloween season.  Check out these cool costumes that you and your child can make at home:

1.) A Bunch of Grapes

All this costume requires is about 2 dozen purple balloons, a simple purple outfit and a green hat.  Have your child dress in all purple, then blow up the balloons and stick them to the upper part of your child’s body.  Finish off the costume with a green hat, which you can decorate with simple art supplies to look like a grape stem.

2.) Chicken

Cut the sleeves off a white sweatshirt; fold in and glue raw edges.

Starting at bottom of sweatshirt, hot-glue a white feather boa to it, wrapping it around and up to the neck (you’ll need one boa for a baby, two for toddlers on up.)

Hat: To make chicken’s comb, stuff fingers of a pair of red rubber gloves with Poly-Fil or batting. Then use one cutoff sleeve for a hat: Fold over and glue raw top edge. Then glue the stuffed gloves, end to end, between the folded edges of the hat. Put hat on your child’s head and cut the open end to desired length, leaving an extra inch to fold in and glue down.

Add leggings or tights (striped leggings here are from hannaandersson.com), red or orange long-sleeve T-shirt, yellow gloves, and yellow rubber boots.

3.) Baby Lion

This is a great costume for babies and toddlers. And it might just be the easiest costume. Ever. Simply buy a mop (the old-school stringy kind). Remove the top, and attach it to a creme colored hat.  Dress your little one in a creme outfit and paint some whiskers on his face and voila! Baby Lion. The mop top will give the appearance of an instant lion’s mane. Use piece of rope to create a tail.

4.) Corn on the Cob

For this costume, you’ll need hot glue or fabric glue,  scissors and a tape measure.

Cut the sleeves off a green sweatshirt. Turn in the armholes and glue raw edges. Next, give 3 paper egg-carton bottoms a coat of yellow paint. When dry, glue to front of sweatshirt for kernels. Cut 1 yard of green felt in half. Pull on felt to create irregular edges. Fold and glue along each side of egg cartons, as shown. Glue green pipe cleaners to the back of felt at the top to help the “husk” tips stand up.

For the hat: Measure child’s head and cut a sleeve to fit, leaving an extra inch at the top. Cut a bunch of raffia and bundle together. Wrap a strand around base of bundle to keep it together; glue to hat for corn silk.

5.) Baby Sheep

To make this costume you will need an old sweatshirt, lots of cotton balls, a white hat, black & white felt, a black shirt and black pants. Cut the sleeves off of the old sweatshirt and paste cotton balls generously all over it.  Do the same for the white hat. Cut two ear shaped pieces of felt and add ach them to the hat.  Have your child wear the black shirt/tights under the cotton-covered sweatshirt, along with the hat.

Here is a gallery of these costumes as well as a few others that are simple enough for you to do at home.

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One of accused this year is the mega store chain corporation Kohls. Kohl’s has pulled a Halloween wig from its website after outrage broke out on the store’s Facebook page over the name. The “Ghetto Fab” wig which is available in blond and brunette, is a poofy little wig with tight ringlets that is supposed to be attached onto the back of one’s head. What makes the wig ghetto or fabulous is not clear. However, Facebookers were not happy about this Halloween theme. The people took to their Facebook page to complain about the costume.

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“I am in no ways ‘ghetto’ and neither is my kinky hair,” wrote one poster. Another poster stated “A “Ghetto Fab” wig for Halloween? Seriously, Kohl’s?!,” wrote one poster. “I find the term “ghetto fabulous” TASTELESS!” Meanwhile Kohls reacted to the controversy and racist labels by initially changing the name to “Curly Wig” on their website. Still worried over more back lash, the company decided to pull the wig from online and in stores completely. The VP of Kohls public relations later issued a statement where he claimed that the wig “in no way reflects the values of our company”.

Kohls is not the first major chain store that has let their racist impressions of minorities slip during Halloween. Last year Target was scrutinized by the Latino community for having their “illegal alien” costume. The costume showed a space alien carrying a green card and included a prison-like jumpsuit with “Illegal Alien” stamped across the front. Target says that the costume was never intended to be on the website and blames the mistake on human error during data entry.

Target spokesman Joshua Thomas said the item was put on its website by mistake when an employee entered a wrong number into the system. Target has a strict review process with its vendors, he said. “We apologize. This was never intended to be part of our assortment. We are moving as quickly as possible to remove it from our website.” Others are not too sure if this was a mistake made by Target or a costume that was chosen in bad taste.

Has Halloween become an outlet for people to release their prejudice all in “good humor”?  Or are people too sensitive about issues of race and should not take these costumes seriously during Halloween?

Quotes Via: CityPages

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

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Her plan would require parents to attend at least one conference per year or face three days in jail. Parents of those excelling in school would be exempt, as would those whose health issues make travel difficult and those “actively engaged” with teachers through e-mail, phone calls or letters.“We have to find any means necessary to get parents involved,” Worthy told the council. “We have to start talking about prevention.

I understand what Worthy is trying to do. She is trying to force parents into being involved in their children’s education. As this rule would only apply to the parents of the students who are struggling in school. It is sad to think that some parent’s have to be threatened in order to become involved in their children’s education. Unfortunately there are some parents who are unable to attend the conferences not because they are disinterested in their child’s education but may have to work or have other small children at home with no help. This is the only problem that I see with her plan. It may be too blanket in its policy for the many children who have various living lifestyles at home with their parents. Not all parents are disinterested. Some physically cannot be there. Then there are other parents who are not concerned about serving any jail time because they already have a record. So the threat of more jail time will not inspire them to show interest.

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If anything a stronger policy should be placed on parents whose kids do not attend school. That is where the root of the problem is. Too many parents are not assuring that their kids are actually attending school to begin with. They should start at that step first before they worry about parents attending conferences. The bigger question is whether or not their kids are in school?

People who disagree with the policy claim that Worthy is trying to regulate parental involvement and that is not up to the law. They feel as though she may be crossing lines out of her jurisdiction.

It should not have to come to this. Worthy should not feel as though threatening parents with jail is the only way to reach them. What does that say about the parent’s who are raising this generation? Do you think that Worthy’s plan will make an impact in parents attending conferences?

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Quotes Via: DetroitNews.com

Keeping your kids active is the best way to keep a healthy life style. Children love to play and are full of positive energy. Let them express their selves through activities, games, or even playing outside with neighborly kids.

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Encouragement is key, keep your children focused and let them know that you are there for them no matter what. Support them through different ideas, even if they may seem impossible.

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Children follow everything their parents do, so remember you are their idols. Their minds are like sponges, everything you do will affect them, their future decisions and emotions. So evaluate your actions around them.

Being a parent is hard work, however, it can be fun and a lesson in itself.

The company says that the purpose behind the billboard it is to let people know, African American women in particular that there are other alternatives to unwanted pregnancies other than abortion. “While African Americans make up thirteen percent of the population in America, they represent 36 percent of the abortions in the United States,” says Marissa Gabrysch from Heroic Media. “In the African American community, twice as many deaths have occurred due to abortions than the combined totals of violent crime, cancer, heart disease and AIDS,” she continues.

While I respect Heroic Media’s license to free speech and their opinions about abortion, I do not appreciate their attempt at spreading their message at the expense of being disrespectful towards the African American women who are handling their business as mothers. Something about the ad seemed to be judgmental and stereotypical. The tone went beyond statistics and numbers and came off as an attempt to demoralize African American mothers overall.

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Reading that statement one could go beyond relating it to abortion only and take it as them implying that any child who is born to an African American mother better pray to the heavens because… To Read The Rest Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Quote Via: The Grio

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Granted I do think that the kids of this generation may be prone to be more sensitive and that may be a part of the overall reason why the bullying is overwhelming to them. However, by no means do I think that the act of bullying is justifiable and something that kids should just “get over”.  For starters, it is not the child’s job alone to protect themselves. It is the parents as well. In fact it is more so the adults in that child’s life role.

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I also think that it is deeper than the kids merely being overly sensitive. It is obvious that these kids are in a constant state of frightened self reliance and feel as though there is no one there to save them. For that reason I feel that more parents should become involved in their children’s lives. If you have a child who has informed you that they are being tormented at school by another student then it is your job to follow through and speak to someone at the school. It is your job to at least make the effort to find a way to put a stop to the bullying. It is your job to at least try, even if you don’t necessarily have the time or think that the situation is that dire. It is your job to express interest in your child’s happiness and peace of mind. It is also your job to make your children aware that they are not alone and that there are people who are willing to listen.

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I have issues with the teachers and other authority figures at school as well. Obviously there is a disconnect between them and the students. Somewhere along the line, the students stopped feeling as though they could confide in teachers when they were being harassed. Somehow they now feel that telling will do them no justice. These kids are under the impression that there is no one who can protect or help them and the only way out of their personal hell is by killing themselves. That is a warped state of mind. How did we allow our children to get there? What are we as adults’ not doing that is making them believe that they are so alone?

It is also the job of the parents whose kids are doing the bullying to put an end to it once they discover it is happening. They are as much to blame for their child’s behavior as the child is. Your child should not think that it is acceptable for them to be a tyrant at school. For More LJ Knight Check Out YeahSheSaidIt

Oh but it gets even creepier.  Sallie Davies, a New York artist and photographer, decided to buy a McDonald’s Happy Meal, set it out on a plate in her East Village apartment, and document its gradual decay (or lack thereof).She reports that there was also no aroma coming from the food. “The top bun is very dry and a small part snapped off,” Davies said. “The burger shrank as it dried out, but nothing much else.” This is after 180 days people.

Scientists from multiple universities have explained that the indestructible nature of the fast foods on Davies’ plate could be for various reasons. Noting additional factors that could be contributing to their lack of moisture: high fat content, and plenty of salt (a natural preservative).“Anything that is high in fat will be low in moisture,” Washington State University professor Barry Swanson told Salon.com.

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So, we all know that McDonald’s isn’t healthy so why do we feed it to our kids? We know that the food has the deteriorationtime of watching paint dry yet, we introduce it to our kids. We can’t blame the kids for eating it. As parents, we are in control of their diet. Sure the kid might cry and pout over wanting McDonalds but it is the responsibility of the parents to say “no”. Also, the kids will not know about McDonalds or have a chance to get hooked to it until the parents introduce it to them. They have no idea what McDonalds is until the parent sticks that first french fry into their mouths.

After a long day of work, some parents are too tired to cook so McDonald’s and other fast food restaurants are the easy solution. Regardless of how it affects their children. At the moment, that is not a priority to them. They just want their kids fed.

It seems that there is nothing that McDonalds can do to stop people from eating it or feeding it to their kids. There have been various reports and documentaries explaining that McDonald’s is addictive yet we still feed it to our children. In some households McDonald’s and other fast food restaurants are staples in a child’s diet. Some kids barely eat a home cooked meal.

Would you ever consider taking fast food out of your kids diet?

Via: MSNBC

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

We accept it because they are animals and we expect them to behave in this way. The same can be said about humans. Mother and Fathers will go to extremes behaviors to protect their children. They will risk their own life in exchange for their child if necessary. Like animals, they will strike back if someone harms their children as well. However, the consequences for our revenge can be far more  complex and life changing than a simple rumble in the jungle.

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An example of this can be found in Laquita Calhoun. The Chicago mother of an infant daughter killed a neighbor who she discovered raped her infant daughter. Calhoun told police she killed Alonzo Jones because he admitted to raping her infant daughter. After hearing his confession, Calhoun, her sister and a group of others attacked Jones for hours, kicking him, slashing him with bottles. They also ran him over with a car.

The judge later sentenced her to life in 67 years in prison. ” An appeals court is saying this is a special circumstance, this is a situation that is taken out of the norm because she was so aggravated and she is unlikely to repeat offend. The instigation for the offense was the child. The district attorney will try to appeal to the highest court in Chicago.”

As much as I would like to say that a parent should be able to exact revenge on the attackers of her child, the truth is that having such an open policy could lead to chaos. Giving everyone the right to discern their own actions of revenge and to not have to face any consequences is dangerous. In a perfect world I would say that Calhoun should not have to face any criminal charges due to the extreme circumstances she was under. In her case, she might deserve a second chance. But when do the second chances end? When do we draw the line and what factors do we use to decide who deserves a second chance and who does not? How do we decide what acts of  revenge are acceptable versus the ones that are not? What precedent are we setting?

For that reason, I think that Calhoun should either have to serve some time in a mental hospital if not prison. True she was a Mother that was under an intensely stressful situation. However, I do not think that she should not ever have to serve any time in a facility at all. Another way to look at the situation is how did the neighbor have access to the infant long enough to rape it? Where was Calhoun? I’m not blaming her for his actions but considering the issue that parents often are too trustworthy with the people they leave their children in the company of.

Does she deserve a second chance?

Via: The Grio

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Whenever you hear the word ghetto immediately you associate it with sadness, negative stereotypes and death. A dark shadow is cast on anything identified as being ghetto and anyone from that environment is also deemed to have the same characteristics. I’m not here to defend everything that happens in the ghetto. Yes, much of it can be unnecessary, destructive nonsense. Indeed there are many negative situations that are oversaturated in the ghetto. However, just as there are harsh consequences to having grown up in this environment there are also some benefits as well. There are many life coping character traits that are implanted in you from growing up in the hood. Many of these character traits are what make you stand strong among the weak and feeble. This is needed in today’s world where people are experiencing life situations that they thought they would never have to face. Which is why I stand by the belief that the ghetto does have its problems but you can find glimmers of happiness there well. The following are a few benefits that I feel I have inherited by growing up in the hood.

1. Pressure

Growing up in a not so pleasant environment gives you the ability to handle stressful life situations without losing your mind. In the past you may have had situations where you and your family were with little food, bills were due with no way to pay them. These situations mold you into having the strength necessary to cope with future situations which may be less life threatening yet equally stressful. This give you the ability to handle anxiety and pressure without cracking under it and keeping a clear mind on your quest to find the best solution to that problem. This is what is needed when you are facing these situations. You need a clear mind that will not become foggy and cause you to lose touch with reality. Nope, you won’t catch me shooting up my job and co-workers if I lose it. Sure I would be upset, but I would simply pick myself up dust myself off and keep it moving with a new plan.

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2. Chameleon Ability

Time in the ghetto gives you the ability to blend in no matter where you are. Of course an important note to this is that the person must have spent some time outside of the ghetto in order to be able to master this chameleon affect. For instance, I grew up in the hood but graduated from DePaul University. DePaul was a mostly White, privileged, private Catholic university. A much different environment from my neighborhood on Chicago’s west side. However, both of these experiences aided in molding me into being a multifaceted person. I can go to the most urban areas in any inner city to the suburbs to Wall Street and feel the exact amount of comfort level in all places. Without ever once doubting who I am or feeling as if I am being phony or masquerading in any way. The truth is that the world is big and there is much more to it than your stoop, or your block. You have to be a master of yourself first and then you can master any environment you encounter.

3. Empathy

Although I no longer live in the hood, I can still empathize with what is happening there and can connect on a deeper level with the people there and their lifestyles and experiences. It also is what gives me the skills to have….To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt

Kids are putting on their backpacks, sharpening their pencils, and returning to class, but how many of them will actually walk to school? Not many compared to eras past. In 1969, some 50 percent of children walked or biked to school, and 87 percent of children living within one mile of school got a little morning exercise. Today, fewer than 15 percent of kids walk or bike to school.

This is what happened to Lenore Skenazy, a Manhattan mom and author of the parenting book Free Range Kids, who made newspaper headlines when she sent her son on the New York subway at age 9 in April 2008. In a column for the New York Sun, she wrote, “Was I worried? Yes, a tinge. But it didn’t strike me as that daring, either. Isn’t New York as safe now as it was in 1963? It’s not like we’re living in downtown Baghdad.”

While some parents these days believe their kids are growing up in a scary world, Skenazy argues that raising children in the United States now isn’t more dangerous than it was when today’s generation of parents were young. “Crime today is basically where it was at in the 1970s,” she says. “And we’re assuming kids can’t do the same things we did ourselves as kids. This doesn’t make sense.”

READ THE REST HERE

Did you walk to school as a child? Do you allow your children to walk to school? Why or why not?

Keep Your Kids Safe With Non-Toxic Bottles By SIGG

6 Must-Have Back To School Items

Whether you have a newborn, a toddler or a budding teenager, you can make better choices for your child’s health by limiting their exposure to harmful chemicals like BPAs and Phthalates.

Unfortunately these chemicals are found in a lot of plastic products. SIGG makes wonderful bottle/cup choices that you can make not only for your children but also yourself. Limiting your child’s exposure to plastic water bottles and cups can improve their health in the long-term and also help save the environment.

Here are the facts:

• Even though they are made of a thin, light single sheet of aluminum, they are leak-proof and have been named “The World’s Toughest Bottle.”
• A non-toxic lining is baked on the inside of the bottle that ensures no metallic taste and no taste transfer from different flavors of drinks. This is a great alternative to plastic bottles that leach chemicals into your beverage.
• SIGG bottles will last a lifetime and will reduce environmental waste. SIGG bottles are also 100% recyclable.
• SIGG has about 100 different shapes and designs of bottles, so you’ll be able to find one that your kid loves and that fits your style.

For an idea of the plethora of different designs here’s a gallery of their kids/youth bottles:

As you can see there are tons of styles to chose from!

SIGG also makes some great accessories like these cute pouches shaped like shoes. They come in a variety of designs for your boy or girl and also offer a snack pocket in the bottom.

The bottles range from to $17.99-$21.99 depending on size.

To buy SIGG products visit the online store here.

Get more information on BPAs and phthalates here.

3 Tips For A Magnificent Monday With The Kids

How To Start Family Traditions

The traditional American dream consists of a man, wife, kids, and a white picket fence.  However, times are changing and people are starting to question what is necessary for starting a family.  Women generally wait to start having kids until they are positive that they have found Mr. Right, but is that really what it takes?

Although social norms have evolved so much, when is it time to hold on to traditions? It’s becoming harder and harder to be a single mom, so maybe women really should wait until they have another source of support.

Then again, we are all about female independence.  If you want a family, why do you have to wait until you have found a man that is going to stay in your life? If you think you’re ready, then go for it. Right?

One thing to keep in mind is that starting a family isn’t something that is over in 2 years.  By making the decision to have kids and raise them on your own, you are making a decision that is going to affect at least the next 18 years of your life.

One famous actress speaks her mind about this issue, explaining why a man IS NOT necessary.

She says,

“Love is love and family is what is around you.”

Find out who said this at PopEater.

WHICH SIDE DO YOU AGREE WITH?

Tips On How Not To Play Favorites With Your Kids

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When you are a part of a large family with many siblings there may be times when one of the children feels out of place, lost, and like they are being treated differently from the other children. All of the parenting books preach to avoid this act that some parents do subconsciously. That is favoritism. Favoritism is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make because it can lead to resentment towards the parent and the child’s siblings.

Favoritism can be subtle. It can show up in that extra cookie that you give one child. It can be that extra moment of one-on-one time that you devote to one child and not the other. It can also be  flagrant and done purposely by some parents for a variety of reasons. It could be that they feel a closer bond to one child than anther, one child could remind them more of themselves, or one child could require more attention than the other. Regardless of the reasons, no child should ever feel as though they come second to their sibling. This is what sparks jealousy, and sibling rivalry that sometimes transfers over into adulthood. Here are a few tips on how to avoid any of your children feeling as if you are playing favorites

1. Spend Time With All The Kids
If you have children and one of them has a hobby or an activity that you two do together make sure that you find an activity that the other children enjoy and you spend that one on one time with them as well. Even if you hate the activity do it anyway. Remember that this time is not about you and your preferences rather the quality time and memories that you are building with your child.

2. Make Sure That All Your Kids Know You Love Them
How does your child know that you love them? Simple. You tell them. Tell them all as often as you can. It does not matter if they moan and groan or seem unaffected by it. The truth is that most kids never get tired of hearing those words come from their parents. No matter how annoyed them may seem by your redundancy.

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3. Be EVERYBODY’S Biggest Cheerleader
If you have one child who is into sports and you go to all of their games and cheer them on, but the other could care less about sports don’t worry. Find out what it is they are into and support them. Even if your child simply likes to skateboard, cheer him on while he does tricks in front of the house. Be his audience some times. Be each of your children’s biggest cheerleader.

4. Take Turns
This one is more in relation to smaller children. If you have a system for instance where someone is your special helper in cleaning, then everyday that special helper needs to alternate. That way no one will ever feel like you are spending more quality time or choosing one over another. Or as if you feel that one person helps better than another. Taking turns should be the motto in almost all things in the house.

5. Ask Questions, Show Concern
Always ask questions. Star with something as simple as how was your day? This a general question that should be posed to each child. Each child should have their time to shine and tell you about their day. Even if it seems that nothing special happened to the child, proceed to ask them more questions about their day or even their feelings. Show genuine concern for each child.

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It’s summer time and with that comes the young folks out and about doing their thing. I’m all for having fun and enjoying your summer  but what I’m not for is anyone participating in any behavior that devalues them or their growth. Not to mention could lead to violence.  Here are a few habits that I noticed that young people engage in and it intensifies when the summer time hits.These is a short list. Please feel free to add on and spread the advice. If you see young people engaging in this, feel free to tap them on the shoulder. Especially if the young ones are your kids.

Having your young child dressed like a thug

I hate to see toddlers and young boys walking around in the summer time with their pants sagging and no shirt on. Now, having your pants sag is a style that transcends cultures and age groups so I can let that one slide. But make your little boys put a shirt on.  I do not care how hot it is. There is no need for a 5 or 6 year old to be shirtless in front of his house. At this point you probably choose his clothing. He does not need to mimic the older boys in this fashion.  The truth is many of the older boys who do dress in this way are not the best role models to mimic.

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Little Kids Should Be In The House

At a certain time of night, there is no need for your child to be outside hanging with you and your homies/girls. This type of erratic schedule is what limits children and prevents them from being able to maintain a regular schedule when they are older. Or prevents them from assimilating into a responsible member of society. They are unable to adjust to going to bed at a certain time and waking up in time to start their day because you never showed them how.

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The Corner

Get your teenagers away from the corners of streets late at night. I repeat please forbid your kids from hanging on the end of the block at all hours of the night. Why? This is the time and place where foolishness jumps off. Sometimes that foolishness leads to fighting or even gun violence. I lived on the corner of my block when I lived in Chicago and as soon as the summer time hit naturally people came out to enjoy the weather. With that warm weather came teenagers and young adults hanging on the corner, playing loud music from their cars, arguing, drinking, doing drugs etc… It would not be such an issue if they were not out so late into the night, keeping their neighbors up. Also, if they knew how to have a good time without becoming violent or hostile and some people do. Then there are those who like to let loose as soon as the moon comes out so does the foolishness.

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How safe are your kiddies online? Some would argue, not safe enough.  Facebook in the UK has agreed to a panic button. The button, aimed at children and teenagers, will send an alert to both Facebook and a government child protection agency. The agency had called for the button in the wake of the rape and murder of British teen Ashleigh Hall by a 33-year-old-sex offender posing as a teenage boy who she met on the site.

5 Ways To Keep Your Child Safe Online

Do you think they need this same button in the U.S.A? I say yes. The U.S. has some of the same problems with predators and molesters, luring kids from online for their own sick needs. Hopefully they will follow suit.  It is the parents responsibility to keep their children safe online. However, adding a panic button to Facebook in every country might be the extra precaution needed to lessen the chances of an online predator approaching a child. Myspace and Bebo have already placed the button in use. With the advent of the internet, it is becoming more and more difficult to protect out children online, but it is not impossible.

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The following are a few tips to protect your children while they are on social networks.

1. Have the passwords and usernames to your children’s social networks. Check on your child’s activities regularly.

2. Have time restrictions. Do not allow your child to sit on social networks for extended periods of time.

3. Make your child’s page private.

4. Be honest with yourself about your child. No one knows your child like you do. Ask yourself is your child mature enough to be in the world of social networking? Not every child is ready for the responsibilities and temptations that the online world can bring.

5. If you also are a member of the same social network, friend your child. This way you can occasional take a look at your child’s online activities and see who is requesting friendships from them.

6. Establish guidelines. If you have to, only allow your children to friend people on their social networks that they know from school, day programs, etc..

Via: Newser.com

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A woman once told me that I was selfish for waiting to have kids. I explained to her that I did want children but not until I lived my life and was more financially sound and could raise my kids without worries about money.  I also explained that any man that I fathered my child with should have the same attitude. So, in essence, I want to take the time to say to everyone who wants to wait to have kids that you are not selfish, rather you are selfless. You see the important role that parenthood is and you take it seriously. Here are a few reasons to wait until you are fully prepared to have children.

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1. Wisdom
With time, and age comes maturity. You have different life experiences that help to mold you to be a better person. This wisdom that your receive during life, you then pass on to your children. Again, wisdom comes with time. If you are a very young parent then you might be limited on your scope of life and experiences. Therefore, how can you pass wisdom on?

2. Finances
Raising a child requires money. A lot of it. There is nothing worse than the sinking feeling of not being able to properly care for your child or constantly having to ask for help. Struggling to buy pampers, clothes, food. These are all basics that all children will need. Having a child when you are financially sound is the best advice I could give anyone.

3. Living Your Life
Live your life first. This way, you will have no regrets or should never feel as if you are somehow missing out on something due to having a child. This is a feeling that many people experience when having a child at a young age. Yes, they love their children but many of them later wish they would have lived their life more before taking on the responsibility of caring for another human being. It is a heavy one. Plus, there are certain experiences in life that are best done before children enter your life. Any other way would be hurtful to the child.

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4. Mental Preparation
Although there is no real way to mentally prepare for a child, there is such a thing as being mature enough to handle the responsibility. This is something that many people do not consider when they have a child. They do not consider the fact that your mentality must shift from being “me, me, me” to “child, child, child.” Suddenly, their needs are not as important. Unfortunately, not everyone can adapt to this, which is why some parents end up putting their children on the back burner.

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Babysitter, check. Reservations, check. Alone time with your husband (finally), check. Now that you have time away from the kids, don’t spend the whole night talking about them! Here are some conversation topics to inspire you… that have nothing to do with sleep schedules, spit up or soccer practice!

Your Goals

Talking about your goals goes beyond your to-do lists. What do you each want to accomplish as individuals? As parents? As professionals? Reconnect on your hopes and dreams for the future and make a plan to work with one another to make them a reality.

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Your Childhoods

You know what it was like for your partner growing up (and have laughed at all of his school pictures with bad hair and buck teeth), but there’s always some funny story to tell or even retell from your childhood. You know, like the time you broke your mom’s favorite vase because you were playing ball in the house (oh wait, that was Peter Brady).

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Life lessons learned at the playground

Piss poor parents better beware. Prosecutor Kym Worthy of Detroit has a new proposal she is putting to gether which will attempt to make parents be more accountable for their children’s behavior as well as make them have more interest in their child’s education.  In this proposal parents would be jailed for up to three days for repeatedly missing scheduled parent-teacher conferences. The proposal is in response to 12 year old Demarco Harris shooting and killing a woman during a robbery in Detroit. When the police knocked on Harris’s parent’s door at 2 a.m., they had no idea where their 12 year old son was.

5 Ways To Keep Your Kid Safe Online

Worthy hopes that this stiff repercussion will force parents to be more involved in their children’s lives. I applaud this proposal. It is deeper than parent teacher conferences. It is the message parents send their kids when they allow them to run the streets and do not enforce any rules or accountability on their children. It is the message of disinterest they send their kids when they never show their face at any parent-teacher conference. They send the message to their children that they can do whatever they want and ultimately that they do not care.

I hope that this proposal passes and is implemented in all states because for some parents, the threat of them being arrested is the only thing that will make them want to do the right thing.  The next proposal should be to jail parents whose children do not attend school and miss several days in one school year.

There are too many children who do not have anyone to answer to. They do not feel any fear of punishment from their actions from anyone, including their parents. This could be the tool necessary to promote parents to be more active in their child’s life. Even if they do not necessarily want to, feel like it, or have any interest at all. After all, one of a parent’s main goals should be to mold their children into a functional, responsible adult.

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Worthy is still working on the details, but once her proposal is finished, she hopes to present it to county commissioners in August and persuade them to approve an ordinance. After that, she states that she may take it to state legislators in Lansing. Harris, who is now 13 was sentenced to a high security juvenile facility. Worthy states that she is trying to prevent their being more children who in Harris’ situation in the future.

Via: Yahoo News

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Things tend to get messy in any divorce. They get even more messy when there are millions of dollars involved and kids. Just ask Tiger Woods. Besides paying his soon to be ex-wife millions in dollars, he also has to follow some of her new ground rules. The most important regulation being that he can only bring a new chick into their lives if he has MARRIED her.

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I understand and appreciate Elin’s attempt at protecting her children from Tiger’s promiscuous ways and revolving door of women. However could this decision add more flame to the fire? My issue with the agreement is wouldn’t it make sense to at least introduce the kids to the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with before you get married to them? Although I do not think that your kids should meet every single person you date. This introduction is usually done once you see the relationship heading down the path of marriage. Is it fair to the kids to spring a new step mom on them that they never even have met before and have not had the opportunity to build a relationship with? No, it’s not fair. After some time it is reasonable to think that a potential step mom would also build her own relationship with the kids as well. Not doing this only poses the chance that this could also possibly bring more confusion and drama into their lives in the future.

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Another way to look at the situation is to pose the question as to whether she has the right to regulate her ex-husbands activities with their kids? After all, he is an important part of their lives as well and as their Father he has the right to raise them as he pleases just as she does. This also sparks the questions as to when is the best time to introduce your kids to your significant other? How does one decide? I firmly believe that deep down Elin thinks that Tiger is incapable of committing to a woman and has no real worries of him ever bringing a new woman into their children’s lives under the regulations that she has laid out. However, she knows that it is her job to protect her children.

How soon should you bring your children around your new significant others? Does Ellin have the right to restrict Tiger from when/ who he can and cannot bring around the kids? Is it fair to the children to only meet a potential step mom/dad right before marriage?

Via: The Sun

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Many years ago the idea of someone putting a child on a leash would be an impossibility. It was unheard of. However, now placing a rambunctious child on a leash is leaning towards becoming the norm for some parents who feel that this is the only way that they can control their child. It is as simple as buying it from your local variety store or ordering it online. Some critics think that this is barbaric and will lead to psychological issues in the child. While others think it is the newest product in child safety. Playing devil’s advocate, here are few reasons why placing your child on a leash may or may not be ideal.

Reasons Why A Placing A Child On A Leash Is Beneficial

1. It can help to maintain a toddler that is out of control or easily excited. Not every parent is equipped to handle a precocious child. This is a way to keep track of a child while in a public place who would otherwise run wild.

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2.There are GPS tracking agents on some of the newer child leashes. So if for any reason a parent looses track of their child while in public, the chances of them being found are much higher. You are constantly in connection with your child.

3. It virtually eliminates the possibilities of a child being kidnapped in a public place.

4. Leashes are affordable. You can buy a child leash for any where from $8.00 to $20.00. Not a bad price to pay for your child’s safety.

Reasons Not to Place A leash on your child

1. Being placed on a leash may affect a child’s self esteem. Especially if they see that other children are not on a leash. Or if they see animals being walked on a leash.

2. Others see you with your child on a leash could make the assumption that you are not a good parent and are unable to control your child.

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Is having a child on a leash something that could scar the child for life? Is it a reflection of the bad parenting  or a way to keep your children safer? Do you judge parents when you see that they have their child on a leash?

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In nonsense law suits news, The Center For Science in Public interest has drummed up a B.S. law suit against McDonalds for manipulating kids into wanting to buy Happy Meals because of their toys. “McDonald’s marketing has the effect of conscripting America’s children into an unpaid drone army of word-of-mouth marketers, causing them to nag their parents to bring them to McDonald’s,” Stephen Gardner of the Center for Science in the Public Interest wrote to the heads of the chain in a letter announcing the lawsuit.  The group also believes that Mcdonalds lures children in with toys and in return offers them unhealthy meals. They argue that even though McDonalds may have some healthier alternatives for kids, kids still order the more unhealthy food the majority of the time.

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The Center For Public Interest, cut the crap. This law suit is another underhanded strategy for you to manipulate people into raising their kids according to how YOU see fit.  This is a way for people to be forced into buying into your interests. Granted, I do not agree with any child shoving MCDonalds down their throat or any other fast food restaurant daily. However, I know that it is not my place to take away a parents right to raise their child as they see fit.  Why? Because when it gets to the nitty gritty, it is that individual parent’s decision on what they choose to feed their child.

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The group is hoping that the negative publicity forces McDonalds to negotiate with them on this issue. The problem with this group’s suit is where do we draw the line? It is all fine and good to say that you are doing this for the children and their well being. Most people can accept any group who has children’s well being and safety as their cause but within reason. There are piss poor parents out there but we mustn’t forget that there are also some excellent parents out there who place their children as priorities in their lives. These parents opinions and wants for their children (within reason that there is no abuse) should not be ignored or put on the back burner as being less important because a group or people who have never met the parents or their children feels that they are the ones who know what is best for EVERYONE.

Can you imagine if they passed laws on what parents could and could not feed their children?  What if there were penalties for breaking this law? Where do we place the limitations? At what point does what the parent’s desire for their children become less valuable than what an outsider deems acceptable? At the end of the day a parent can simply tell the child the phrase “No McDonalds today”.  Saying “no” is still a viable option versus passing laws and regulations. Their toys are no more tools of manipulation than KB Toys or Toys R Us. How many parents have had to tell their child “no” after driving by one of their stores? It becomes a slippery slope when we allow outside authorities to control so much.

Via: MSNBC

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Why do people feel that others should have be financially responsible for their children? I am talking about the individuals who are without education, without employment, and have no plans on getting a job in the near future yet still manage to get themselves pregnant or impregnate someone.

They do this knowing that the state that they live in will assist them financially in raising their child. They do this knowing that welfare is their fall back. I am not talking about the mothers and fathers who go to work everyday and need that extra money from the state to care for their family. Everyone needs help and they deserve it the most. I am talking about the people who have made a conscious decision to get pregnant, as well as a decision that they are never going to work or make an effort to be financially stable. Yeah, those losers.

Why is it our responsibility to finance you and your children’s well being if you are making no plans to even attempt to better your lives?

I know what you are thinking. No one wants to be unemployed. No one purposely resists looking for a job, or finishing their education. Life is hard and they just deal with the cards they were dealt. I am here to tell you my friend that you are wrong. You are very wrong!

I have seen that extent of lackadaisical behavior with my own two eyes! It does exist! There certainly are people who have decided that their occupation in life is “slacker” and they refuse to get off their ass and try harder or even try at all. In which case, hey, if you want to be a loser then by all means go for it. You are a grown person who has the right to control the direction of their lives.

However, when you involve children and do not take the steps necessary in preventing bringing another life that you cannot care for or even worse you PURPOSELY get pregnant knowing that you have NOTHING to offer that child then that is selfish. It is selfish for you to assume that others want to take care of you and your children and selfish for you not to want to at least try to prepare yourself so that you can give your child a better life. That pisses me off.

There truly are people who…. To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt

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Hello ladies,

This post is dedicated to the single moms. The ones who are getting it right, have my respect and kudos. It is never easy to raise a good Black man in today’s world. It never has been. They has been so much going against them before they are even out of the womb. However, just because it is not easy does not mean that you should not put your heart and all of your effort into it. There are a few simple tactics in raising not only a good Black man but a Great one. One that is not consumed by his environment, what he sees on TV and peers. I’m not claiming to have all of the answers but I do have a few basic suggestions. I would love to create a dialogue where more suggestions and opinions are added in the comment area. Our sons are worth all of this effort.

Check out my new podcast ft my co-host Taleice J.  titled How To Raise A Good Black Man HERE.

Are You Raising A Good Black Man?

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How To Raise Healthy Kids

According to Shaunie he is…In a letter from her lawyers to Shaq’s lawyers, Shaunie says Shaq is sending death threats to her boyfriend through their 6-year-old son.

According to TMZ:

Shaunie O’Neal’s lawyers just fired off a letter to Shaq’s people, claiming the bball star “interrogated” the couple’s children to tell him everything they knew about her new man … “to the point that they felt intimidated and scared of him.”

Shaunie also claims Shaq told their 6-year-old son to tell her boyfriend that Shaq “is going to kill him” — and that Shaq even screamed at the kid and said, “Say it now! My daddy is going to kill you!”

Shaunie’s lawyers are demanding Shaq halt “further inappropriate discussions” with their children — which is an alleged violation of the non-disparagement provision of their divorce judgment.

TMZ asked Shaq’s attorney for a comment, but he hasn’t gotten back to us.

Shaq you should be ashamed of yourself for getting your kids involved in this drama!!

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And while we’re on the subject of relationships, check out this original story on the 8 things women do to ruin a relationship

Hottie R&B singer Maxwell is looking forward to settling down and have some babies!!!

“I want to eventually get married and have kids,” the romantic vocalist told VIBE. “It’s not like I have a biological clock ticking. I’ve done the artist thing. I’ve had a lot of time with just being by myself just being selfish. I just know that I’m ready to be a dad and a husband.”

Last month, concert dates were announced for the pairing of Maxwell, who is still riding high off the commercial and artistic success of his Blacksummers’night, and Scott, who will be appearing in the Tyler Perry sequel Why Did I Get Married Too (hitting theaters April 2010).

Source

Ladies?????????

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