You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have a question for you, so please do not judge me Terrance. I need your help. I am twenty years old and I have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half! You know how some women have been in previous relationships and they don’t know when the next guy is genuine or not? That was me. On top of that I was insecure. Well, around the seventh month or eighth month of our relationship, I cheated on him with another guy. Like, we had sex. I told my boyfriend what happened. But, then I didn’t know how to take responsibility for it and I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was drunk and the guy took advantage of me.

Terrance, God knows my heart and I was never like that before. Even in my past relationships I never cheated. My insecurity hit an all time low when I did cheat. Terrance, it happened seven months ago and my mind is going crazy. I don’t want to tell him because it will just be getting the guilt from my mind, and not helping the relationship. And, he is going through a lot in his life. What should I do? I think I should get over it, but I just need a second opinion. I never cheated afterwards. As a matter of fact, while I was cheating I stopped in the middle of it and began to cry. I still cheated, but I just bust out crying about how I am messing up my relationship. What should I do? – My Heart Is Heavy

“I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay!”

Dear My Heart Is Heavy,

I feel for you because I totally understand the guilt you are feeling and the pain you are experiencing. Doesn’t it hurt when you hurt someone who loves you? The guilt eats at you and you can’t do nothing but think about it all the time. And, you know what, girl, you should feel guilty. I hope you didn’t think I was going to let you off easy. Honey, please. Your behavior and what you did doesn’t deserve a pity party. Sorry, boo, but you can revoke my invitation to that lackluster event.

Your man entrusted you to be in a monogamous relationship, and yet you cheated with another guy because of your past defunct relationships, and the men who’ve done you dirty and wrong. So, let me get this straight, you take it out on the guy who is doing right by you? Does that sound logical to you? I mean come on. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if your man told you, “Baby, I cheated on you, but I was drunk and she took advantage of me. I love you and I’m sorry.” You will give him the side-eye, side-hand slap across the face, and the side of your behind for him to kiss as you walk out the door.

So, what do I think you should do? I think you need to tell him the truth. Yes, sit down with him, and lovingly explain what happened. Tell him what happened, and why you did it. Honey, we’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all done something we regret in our relationships, be it saying something hurtful, or doing something we didn’t really mean to do. So, sit down with your man and express to him, as you did with me in this letter, and let your heart speak. Don’t think with your head, but let your heart share. And, share it with compassion and love.

All this, ‘he’s going through something in his life and I don’t want to make matters worse,’ uhm, sweetheart, you already made matters worse when you cheated. If you’re not honest now, the next time, and trust me, something else will happen, and you will lie again. You will, yet again, not take responsibility and find the easy road out because you’ve done it before and he fell for the ole’ okey-doke.

So, Ms. My Heart Is Heavy, why not practice honest today? Stop lying to yourself, and to him. If you can be honest with yourself, and how your past hurts and disappointments have you acting out and doing things to sabotage your relationship it will be a positive step forward to building a better you, and a relationship not built on secrets, deception, and lies. Now forgive yourself, tell your man the truth, and whether or not he forgives you, at least you’ve done the work on you. And, at the end of the day what matters most is YOU! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

UPDATE: Apparently Kelis was overseas celebrating her decision to divorce her hubby Nas. Seems like Kelis is very popular in Europe and Russia so she spends a lot of time there when she can. According to egyptsaidso.com, Kelis had a celebratory dinner with some girlfriends where she toasted to her upcoming divorce and said “Here’s to taking that motherf*$%#@ for everything he has!” and here’s the shocker…Pregnant Kelis was allegedly drinking.

And in Nas’ corner, sources close to Nas’ camp say that a sex tape of Kelis and another man is the reason why the couple’s relationship went downhill.  Nas is said to have been publicly humiliated by the tape although Kelis assured him it wasn’t during their marriage. Both camps say he hasn’t been able to move past the incident and has been distant and cruel to Kelis ever since.

We’ve heard in the past that Nas is not crazy about Kelis’ friendship with actress Dania Ramirez.

Apparently Nas thinks Dania is a bad influence on Kelis because when they’re together they run around town like they are single. He’s told folks that everytime Kelis goes out west to hang with Dania, she gets into trouble or hangs with a crowd of people who hop around to selacious private parties at the homes of various Hollywood A & B listers as well as at the home of professional athletes.

Check out Nas performing at Hunter College the day after the divorce announcement:

Kelis parties while preggers.

UPDATE: New details are emerging regarding Kelis and Nas divorce drama.  According to ballerstatus.com, former XXL editor-in-chief Elliott Wilson held an interview with Angela Yee’s Shade 45 satellite radio show, and revealed that the couple got into an argument last week over a text message and photos that Kelis found:

Here’s what was revealed:

On the women Nas was cheating on his pregnant wife with:
“She had found a certain young lady’s photos and inappropriate text, correspondence between a certain young lady on the side … I don’t believe it’s a famous woman. I believe it’s a black chick from Virginia who may be a promoter of some sort, but definitely not a famous chick..”

On the verbal abuse allegations:
“The biggest issue I heard is a lot of him just talking to her crazy…besides physicaly abusive they can be verbally abusive…A lot of the drama I’m hearing had to do with that aspect too.”

On the breaking point:
“To find out your man’s cheating on you when your seven months pregnant in a blatant way makes Kelis feel like this is the breaking point and she’s calling the lawyer.”

UPDATE: We just came across this video of Nas following the divorce announcement:

Click here to see our video showdown between the couple.

We’ve heard this one before, but this time around it seems like it’s the real deal, Nas and Kelis are separating after three years of marriage.

According to vibe.com, the couple have split. “I can confirm that she has filed for divorce,” a spokesperson for Kelis told VIBE. “We request the media to respect her privacy during this very difficult time.” At around 3:45pm PST, high-powered attorney Laura Wasser (who has also represented Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, and Stevie Wonder) filed a divorce petition today on behalf of Kelis, citing irreconciable differences.

Nas and Kelis may be divorcing.

The bombshell comes amid recent reports that the acclaimed rhymer and influential R&B vixen were expecting their first child together-a son. Kelis is currently seven months pregnant.

Check out the couple in happier times:

Apparently the couple is already living separately with Nas staying in his New Jersey mansion, and Kelis splitting her time between the Atlanta house and L.A.

Kelis has been rumored to cheat on Nas more than a few times and now it is Nas who is being accused of bringing another woman into the picture. This time a local club owner’s daughter whom also owns several studios in Miami herself, where Nas and Kelis share a home.

Kelis feeds her belly at Mr. Chow’s

We were hoping God’s Son and Ms. Milkshake could weather any storm that was put before them.

Would you break up with your man while pregnant? What would it take to walk away while preggers?

She then goes on to say “If he ever decides to leave her, know there will be someone else in the same spot you were when you hooked him.” If you want to share your view on infidelity join the conversation here.