I have really fallen in love with my best friend. We have been friends for almost six years now, and I really don’t know how to let him know how I feel about him. We do everything together, and I want to see where we can go. We have been sexually active for the last three years and had a baby together, but never really committed to each other. He tells me that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, but there are times when I feel that he is just lying to me. We have had our share of fights because I’m younger than him, and other females tell him that he doesn’t need me and that he needs to get someone his own age. He is very jealous, and at the same time he tells me that I need to find someone that will satisfy my sexual needs. I really don’t know how to tell him that I want him and not everybody else that tries to talk to me. What should i do? I really need some advice.

Kareem says:

Sweetie, I am confused. Let me see if I can break this down. You two have been best friends for six years, been screwing for three, and have a kid together? That does not sound like a friendship. That sounds like your sugardaddy/steady booty call knocked you up unexpectedly. He clearly does not want to be with you outside of a recreational Friday night “squeeze off.” As a grown man, he knows what he wants – and it doesn’t seem to be a significant relationship with you. If he is encouraging you to find someone your own age that satisfies your “needs”, you need to. Learn to love yourself.

Got a question for Kareem? Hit him up at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com

DEAR KAREEM: How Do I Tell My Friend Her Boyfriend’s Gay?

DEAR KAREEM: My Man is Boring! Help!

[From BlackDoctor.org]

No matter how much you love your man, he can easily tap dance on your last nerve like he is the late and great Gregory Hines. It’s so easy for you to say I love him, but… I love him, but if he leaves the toilet seat up one more time. I love him, but if he leaves one more soggy bath towel on the bed. I love him, but why must he go and use a dish two seconds after I finish cleaning the kitchen?

The men we love can be a handful, but let’s not forget, they are the men we love. Of course he’s annoying, but focusing on the positive can make you both happier.
1. Stop and think. Consider each of the following questions; be honest and specific: What do you receive from your partner? What do you give to your partner? What difficulties do you cause your partner?

How it helps: “Quiet reflection time is essential for stressed relationships,” Krech, author of Naikan: Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self Reflection, says. This last question will help you remember that he puts up with little annoyances from you too.

2. Fulfill his fantasies. Not those fantasies. Talk to your partner about his goals and ask how you can help him achieve them. Can you deal with the kids while he works on his book? Does he need help clearing space in the garage to do some auto work?

How it helps: It’s easy to focus on what you want from him, Krech says. But you should concentrate on how you can support him and how important you are to his success.

What are two more ways you can appreciate your man? Click here to find out.

4 Joke You Don’t Make With Your Man

Why did he marry her…and not you?

Dear Kareem,

My boyfriend moved out in January. We had been together almost 3 years, and we were having financial problems – he was out of work, and in my eyes he wasn’t trying hard enough to find a job. (He’s got one now.)
They say hindsight is 20-20, and I now look back and realize that I pushed a good man away, between my insecurities, my constant bickering, and my lack of trust.

I’ve spent the past few months “working” on myself, just spending time at home going back over my relationship. He, on the other hand, jumped into a relationship with another woman. I don’t blame him because I physically and emotionally pushed him away. It’s a classic case of a rebound relationship. I guess my question… is how long do I wait to try to get him back?

I’ve seen him once since then, and he tells me he still loves me, but doesn’t want to hurt her… Okay…it hasn’t been a bed of roses for me either.

We have a lot of mutual friends who say he still loves me, yadda yadda yadda, but at this point I don’t know what to believe. Help!

Kareem says:

This does appear to be a classic case of a rebound relationship. I’m curious as to whether he is truly “with” this new girl, or if they are just killing time. I’m sure she does not know she is a rebound chick, and he is probably telling her anything to keep her around. Men do this all the time – we call it “having a soft landing.”

I’m glad that you realize your mistakes in the relationship. I think that you two should work on being in a friendship before rekindling a romantic or sexual relationship. Maybe it will work out in the long run.

Got a question for Kareem? Email him at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com

How does a man choose between two women? Kareem answers.

Should you forgive a cheater?

Have a crush on a guy, but haven’t found the right opportunity to tell him? Well, The Frisky has 8 ways to tell if you should keep it to yourself, or let him know your true feelings!

[From TheFrisky]

So, you’re sweating a dude like he’s a spin class. Girl, you know you got it baaaaaaaad! It’s exciting to crush on a dude, but it’s also potentially ego crushing and stupid. When you can’t stop thinking about a man, you have to add some reason to those dirty thoughts or you could get hurt. Love might be blind, however, there are some eye opening clues that can help you decide whether he’s feeling you too! You should tell your crush you like him if (and that’s a big IF)…

1.You’re Willing To Tell Him Face-To-Face: If you don’t feel like you need to hide behind IM, Facebook, email, or text, that you can tell him in person, then it’ll show your love can also for real.

2. You Pair Off: If you’re out with friends, the two of you have a private, flirtatious convo going on, even if it’s just with your eyes.

3.You Can Imagine Having Sex With Him: Do you have an idea of what it would be like? Would he clash with your style? If you can dream it, you can do it!

4. You Communicate Before You’re Drunk: Do you talk? And I don’t mean just by text. If he only tries to find you late night, he’s not crushing on you, he’s circling you like a buzzard with a boner. So either do him or don’t, just keep your feelings out of it.

For 4 more signs, click here.

What if the person you used to hook up with is your long-lost love?

What if your crush is just someone you saw on the train?

For the last 2 years of my life, I have had a crush on one of my past flames. We never officially dated, but like I mentioned earlier, I still have feelings for him. It has been two years since I’ve last talked to him, and I feel like I am wasting my time. There is no one that I can really talk to about my issue, but you seem like you tell it like it is and not what someone wants to hear. I want to know if I should contact him and tell him how I feel, or should I just let go and let God? I really need a man’s opinion about this.

Kareem Says:

Call him. Call him as soon as you finish reading this post. My grandfather always said, “you can’t afford to win if you can’t afford to lose.” He was a gambler and alcoholic, but wise like Yoda.

But seriously… I mean, what do you really have to lose? One of two things will happen. He will be happy that you called and has been thinking the same about you all this time. Or he will reject you, and your feelings will be hurt for a little, but you will get over it.

As a man, we always have to deal with the fear of rejection when approaching a woman. Time for you to experience the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat. LOL.

Got a question for Kareem? Email him at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com

Hate being in the “Friend Zone”? Here are a few ways to get out of it.