Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I read your blogs all the time, so I am hoping you can help me with this one. It has nothing to do with love, but more legal rights and I hope you or your readers can give me advice on this one.

A few months ago, my wife was let go from her job as a home nurse. When asked why, she was told that a patient’s family member had complained to her job about her. They said that she was rude to them when they called. But, what she heard through people she works with they say it was because her job didn’t want to pay her insurance.

My wife has lupus which requires her to see the doctor quite a bit. When she was let go, on like the 3rd of June, a few days later, she went to the doctor and when she went to pay they told her that she had been dropped from her insurance by the company on the 30th of May. She called her job and they pretended like it was something the insurance company had done, but the insurance company said they are not allowed to just drop people from a company’s insurance unless it is ordered by the company. To me that is proof that she was let go because of her health. When I heard this it made me want go down there and act a fool, but my wife didn’t want me to. Now, I want to see if this can be handled in court. I want to know are there any laws that can protect her and if so what are they and can we sue. Any advice would help. – A Husband Fighting For His Wife

“Me and My Pastor Are Feeling Each Other But I Don’t Know Where It’s Going!”

Dear Mr. A Husband Fighting For His Wife,

I am sorry to hear about your wife’s situation and the dilemma you find yourself. I am not well-versed on this matter, and I strongly urge that you do check with a labor lawyer. A lawyer that deals with human resources, companies, and labor issues. I also suggest that everything you’ve said to me in this letter that you have written and proven documentation. You should definitely get a letter from the insurance company stating why she was dropped and when she was dropped. As well as something from the doctor and the date of her visit. Get everything in order because going against the insurance companies can be a BIG PAIN IN THE YOU KNOW WHERE. And, you’re going to have to prove that her previous employer dropped her prior to her knowing, and if it was due to medical reasons. Hearsay is not going to work. You need documented proof.

But, as you’ve requested, I am leaving the comments open for this as there may be a member, or reader who can assist you. So, all you readers out there who may be well-versed, or work in human resources, or with labor laws, or if you know of a lawyer, can you all help this brother out.

I hope you and your wife find the advice and resources you need. Godspeed and I have your wife in my prayers. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

The Hottest Celeb Pics

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We’ve all been going in on Shaq for his cheating ways with his soon to be ex-wife Shaunie. That was until we got word that Shaunie is not as innocent as she portrays herself to be. Turns out Shaunie has some skeletons in her closet.Here’s what I found out from mediatakeout.com:

Shaunie was MARRIED to one of Shaq’s business associates when she first met the Seven foot baller. And she and her husband had a CHILD TOGETHER

But the insider claims that a WEDDING RING wasn’t going to come between Shaunie and the life she now leads today. The insider claims, “I can’t say that Shaunie and Shaq were intimate when she was together with her husband, but I can tell you that Shaq was one of the reasons why she filed to divorce [her first husband].”

So you see once again, what GOES around COMES around!!!

Shaq’s Wife & Mistress Double-Team Him

Shaunie and Shaq

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Shaq & Shaunie: One Signature Away From Finalizing Divorce

Things are not all lovey-dovey in “Flavor of Love”Deelishis’ marriage. The 9 month pregnant Deelishis took their drama to her Facebook page and put her hubby Orlando on blast for cheating.

According to the ybf.com, Detroit’s Club Envy owner Orlando has been getting it in with some hussie named Cassie. And Deelishis posted all the goods:

Never knew so many beautiful souls could exist on FB lol. Especially women! I sincerely thank u all. Honestly my heart is fine, its not the 1st time some chick has tried to step in on our union, but this time its my daughters I worry about. I worry about what kinda world I’ve brought them into. A world where even when ur doing ur best & at ur happiest, u can still be hurt & devastated. I never want them to experience that type of disappointment.

Now that I have vented and performed a few “Woosah’s”, I can carry on with my day with my beautiful children & peace of mind knowing God has always had me and will take even better care of me now. Thank u all again, be blessed and enjoy the remainder of your day….and remember Karma is So Real!

Thank u all, but I’m cool. A real one always bounce back. And to you Cassie, I esspecially thank you and pray that God has mercy on your soul, cause after I drop this baby I got ya ass, believe that!

Karma is real, believe that! You continue to f**k over the wrong ppl in life and I guarantee it will come back to destroy you and all that you attempt!

Thank u all, but I’m cool. A real one always bounce back. And to you Cassie, I thank you!

SMH!!!!

Deelishis has pregnancy scare after sex!

Deelishis

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Deelishis shows off her pregnant belly

AUDIO: Did Deelishis have a fours0me with Allen Iverson?

Does Monica still have her little raggedy a** unpaid publicity stan running around on the alley trying to get us interested in the b**ch??? If so, this is for you b**ch. Watch your a** bitch. If you wasn’t so desperate for money and fame your as**would be satisfied with that little minor leagues hustler you call a effing man instead of giving your # to my man and then smiling right in my effing face. You B list b**ch!

On the set of Monica’s reality show

So. My man and I were shopping in Saks Fifth Avenue (the flagship) and needless to say, I wore his a** out so he took a seat in the women’s shoe dept to take a load off and hold the bags as I went and checked out “just one more thing honey” on the other side of the floor. Eventually I find another purchase so I call my honey’s cell phone from the register. He comes over and as we head to the elevator, Monica walks by. Now I’ve met this whore before so I smile politely and frankly couldn’t put my finger on who the eff it was cause she looked busted. He goes, “That’s Monica.” I’m like “Oh yea that’s right.” We hop on the elevator and as the door closes, this b**ch jumps on and says “I see you found your wife.” He says “yea” and we both make some small talk with this heiffer as we go back down to 1. (she was with some butch looking b**ch who never said a word). The whore was all smiles at me, very complimentary about my shoes, my ring etc. Hubby’s quiet. As soon as we get off the elevator and this b**ch is out of earshot honey tells me that the b**ch was so far up his a** in the shoe department before I called and that she kept telling him “Put my number in your phone, we should go out.” He told the whore he was with wifey and she never stopped trying to push up til his phone rang and it was me calling telling him to bring his a** on!

Now, this b**ch will know exactly who he was when she sees my post but Monica “THE BOY IS MINE”. You jersey chasing has been three hit whore!!!!!!!!

My man got cussed out too for not alerting me to this fu**ery until after the b**ch was gone, however, he knows me and I guess he was not in the mood to bail me out or for the two of us to be on Page Six over some hoodrat shit. But no worries, I will see this b**ch again. Unless she sees me first because I know the b**ch don’t want none.

Take a look at our Monica gallery:

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Monica does the Mo’Nique show

My co-worker and I were talking about how we wanted our husbands to help us around the house – and with the kids – more.

She told how her husband surprised her by making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen and then taking out the trash.

“I totally went overboard with the praise,” she said. “I was literally clapping my hands and praising him like I do with our son when he pees in the toilet. I was all, ‘Good job! I’m so proud of you!’”

We laughed about how hard we praise our husbands in an effort to get him to do more of what we want – but maybe I realized she was on to something.  No man wants to be treated like a child, but what if we showed the same enthusiasm to our spouse that we show to our kids whenever they do something they think is noteworthy?

Is it okay to snoop on your partner?

7 reasons he’s afraid to commit

Nas says he’s surprised at the public’s interest in his divorce and life. He recently spoke with Canadian newspaper Georgia Straight and he says he deserves a trophy for being a good husband and father. He also says he wants a lot more children.

Here’s an excerpt from the interview:

“It’s funny that someone would even care about some Nasir Jones sh*t. I’m still that kid from the block at the end of the day…. So when I watch this sh*t, it’s surreal. We get a good laugh off it and say, ‘Hey, they’re talking about me again and it’s some funny sh*t.’ “

Nas denies the rumor that he cheated on Kelis.

“I heard that I was a cheater. It almost sounds like I was a bad husband. Not to say I was the greatest-I’m not perfect in anything I do-but I think I deserve a f**king trophy. If I do say so myself, without sounding too cocky, I gotta say I was a hell of a husband and a hell of a dad.”

“It’s unfortunate when business is out there about your personal sh*t, especially when you’re really not the guy to be having his sh*t out there. The sad thing is, you’ve got to get used to it. My skin is so thick that I probably need to write a book for people who are not ready for anything crazy.”

Nas is currently coheadlining the Rock the Bells tour, with Damian Marley who he is working on an album with. When asked what is next for him he says he wants to be like Damian’s father, Bob Marley, and have a lot of children.

“I’ve been around the Marleys, and children and being fruitful is the Marley way, so I want to have more kids. I want to be surrounded by my kids, and I want to watch them grow. I was thinking about getting my Bob Marley on.”

Nas gives Kelis $350 and gift cards for baby

We decided to do some investigating to find out what other men are paying in child support.

Check out what we came up with:

Method  Man goes in on Kelis and child support

Yes, I was that chick. *shudder*

But I’ve since grown past all that foolishness I used to engage in at 18. My husband knows his stuff is safe with me and I won’t go rifling through it the first chance I get.

But there’s one thing I don’t really budge on.

Female friends. I’m not talking about the ones that he grew up with, the ones that cemented their place before I even met him. I’m talking about running into some woman at a work function or someplace, getting her number, making calls and plans to meet and hanging out.

Uh-uh. No way…

To read the rest of this article, go to BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. What do you think about your significant other having a platonic friend of the opposite sex?

Can men and women really be “Just Friends”?

Is it ever right to fight over a guy?

Example:

Last week, I finally decided to mention to my husband that the oil change light in my car was on. I told him it had been on for about a week and that he needed to take my car to get the oil changed after he got home from work. I’d watch the kids and make dinner and by the time he got back, dinner would be ready.

Now, I admit, when I got married I had some preconceived notions of how everything was supposed to go down. Who would cook dinner (me), who would wash the cars (him), who would do the kids’ hair (him…LOL). Getting the oil changed in the cars is CLEARLY one of those “man” things I expected him to do…

Are certain things a “man’s job”? Read the rest of the article at BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and let us know!

Do you and your husband have separate chores? Here’s how to get him to do housework!

What are things he wants you to know, but isn’t telling you?

The title of this article doesn’t mean your hubby’s keeping some wild secrets that you don’t really WANT to know about (well, maybe he is, but how would we know?). Instead, Parenting Magazine has compiled a list of 6 things your husband SHOULD be telling you, but doesn’t for whatever reason. Check it out below and see if you two have some communicating to do!

[From Parenting.com]

Men talk to me all the time about sex, which is only natural, since I’m a sex therapist and I make my living talking to people about their sex lives. But it’s funny how many guys like to talk to me when I’m not working, when I’m pushing my sons in their double stroller or watching them at the playground. Neighbors know what I do, and it seems to draw the men to me –and they open up about certain things that the guys who actually come to see me with their wives just don’t. Every time this happens, I end up saying the same thing: “Dude, don’t tell me, tell your wife.” Then comes the part where he shrugs and says, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, I’ll do that,” but you and I both know it won’t happen.

So I’m here, on dads’ behalf, to tell you the things they think, but won’t always say:

“I want to cuddle.”

Guys who were never big on cuddling (except, of course, in the early days when they were trying to get in your pants and convince you to stick around) are as surprised as anyone to discover that now that there’s someone else competing for your time and attention, they yearn for the physical and emotional connection that comes with a simple snuggle. Sure, all things considered, we’d prefer to have sex and then cuddle. And for some men, the cuddle is welcome because it gives us a tiny shred of hope that you want more (yes, even though we know we have to get up early tomorrow).

Too often, being a dad feels like one long, constant interruption, especially when it’s the end of the evening and we’ve finally made it to bed, only to have to deal with baby monitors beeping, desert-parched voices desperately calling out for water, and malicious talking Elmos digging their battery packs into our spines. It feels like there’s always something getting between us and you. That’s why cuddling is as much of a relief as finally getting off our feet for the day. It reminds us we still have you. Even if sex isn’t happening.

“Take charge in bed. Please?”

Okay, here’s the deal: As dads, we know that sex often feels like a chore on your to-do list. And because we also know that there are a lot of chores on that list (many of which we do our best to avoid), we end up lobbing a lot of sexual softballs in your direction knowing that most of them won’t be in your sexual strike zone. But after a while, all that pitching starts to wear us down. Sex may feel like a chore to you, but always having to be the one to initiate it starts to feel like a responsibility to us. And the last thing we need is more responsibility. Maybe it’s a function of how dads are genetically wired, but we can’t look into our children’s little eyes without seeing visions of college tuitions, spring breaks, trips abroad, and the little Picasso who’s going to grow up to be a starving artist. Even if these are years away, it feels like they’re right around the corner. The sense of long-term pressure and responsibility keeps us up at night, which gets us thinking about sex (since we happen to be up already).

So please, we’d love it if you’d surprise us by coming on to us. Get naughty with us, talk dirty, tell us a secret fantasy. Tell us you had a “sexy dream” last night. That’ll do the trick. You can act all bashful if you want, but when we ask you to tell us more (and we will), describe how you threw us down on the bed and made us your love slave.

What are 4 other things he wants to tell you, but doesn’t? Click here to find out.

What’s something YOU shouldn’t tell your husband?

[From All That's Fabulous]

To all of our lady readers of AllThatsFab, I have something to tell you, Your man has a secret that he’ll never EVER tell. Oh, and to all of our male readers, I’ma keep it real with you, too. Guess what? Your woman has a secret that she’ll never tell. So here are the 10 things you probably don’t know about your girl, and ladies, these are 10 things should never tell your potential hubby:

1. The places you’ve had sex… with PREVIOUS boyfriends (on a bench, on a hood of a car, in the park, in the movies… etc. Keep him thinking he’s the first one you went buck wild with)

2. You’re “play” cousin that you had crush on back in the day (don’t you remember trying to figure it out? “Naw, He’s really my fourth cousin because he’s my mother’s great- aunt’s son’s half brother who….”)

3. How big your last man used to put it on you in the bedroom

4. Your best friend, who just HAPPENS to be a guy, and who you just HAPPENED to sleep with back in the day when you were drunk, oh yeah and again when you were sober…. oh & you also slept with him that time when your potential hubby broke your heart and you needed someone to lean on.

5. Being a stripper had crossed your mind

What are 5 other things your potential hubby is better off not knowing? Click here to find out.

You may be able to keep secrets from your man, but you should NOT keep secrets from your doctor. Here are the top 10 things you shouldn’t keep from the doc.

Find out 7 ways to make him ache for you here.

One of the characters (Miranda) had not had sex with her husband for something like six months and when they did perform “the duty” she asked him something to the effect of, “are you almost done”?

Later on she was out with the girls and told them about her situation thinking that this was common amongst all of them but to her disappointment that was not the case. Well to make a long story short her husband ended up cheating on her….

So how important IS sex when you’re married? Read the rest of the post at BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com and let us know what you think.

[From Huffington Post]

According to Peggy Vaughan, the author of “The Monogamy Myth,” 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who stays monogamous within her marriage is among a growing minority.

Twelve years into my marriage, I can appreciate that statistic. Eric and I are getting to the hard part, where the pressing responsibilities of raising kids and growing two careers could easily blow apart the vows we recited on our wedding day.

Because I want my marriage to stay on the happy side of the statistics, I’ve gathered these tips for how to make marriage affair-proof.

1. Nurture Safe Friendships.

This is the most important affair-preventer in my life. No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he’s less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.

2. Recognize the Drug.

Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to “just say no.”

3. Keep Dating.

I’m serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity–just the two of you and no one else–will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.

In her book, “Mating in Captivity,” Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, “Wipe me!” from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.

4. Find a Creative Outlet.

People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.

So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can’t wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.

What are 4 other ways to keep your marriage hot and affair-free? Click here to find out.

[From The Frisky]

I thought I had heard every excuse for cheating-it’s payback, my needs aren’t being met, I was drunk, etc.-but this excuse takes the cake. A woman revealed to an acquaintance that she is cheating for her kids. Yep, you read that right. She’s not planning on staying in her marriage, so she’s trying to find a daddy replacement for her children before kicking their jerky father to curb.

This woman thinks kids need two parents, an idea that has merit. But what she’s also saying is that a woman needs a man around at all times, a single parent can’t provide for a child like a couple can and that it’s okay to be dishonest…

Read the rest of the story here. Would you cheat for your kids?

Sometimes we try our best, but like the song says, ” I guess my best wasn’t good enough”! Have you ever had one of those Southwest Airlines-type of moments with a significant other? Well, check out this video and then tell us about any embarrassing moments you may have have had in front of a loved one. Especially if you were trying to be cool/sexy in the process.

To watch the insane video, go to BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com.

As friends get married and biological clocks start ticking, many women start scrambling for a lifelong mate. So why not make it fun?

[From Essence.com]

Am I ever going to meet “The One?” Will I be single for the rest of my life? What am I doing wrong? These questions and others like them can be heard during a girls’ night out in Anytown, U.S.A. Beyoncé’s hit song has sparked a craze, with single ladies everywhere longing for Mr. Right to “put a ring on it.” But how far would you go to find that mate? Well, meet Neenah Pickett, a 42-year-old single woman who’s taking marriage matters into her own hands. Pickett is putting her pride aside and publicly announcing to the world her desire to find a man with the launch of her Web site, 52weeks2findhim.com. She’s made a New Year’s resolution that she’s determined to keep: to find a husband within a year. From blogging to taking polls on the best places to meet guys, Pickett is doing whatever it takes to reach her goal. With the help of friends and family, the New Jersey-based media consultant will choose the crème de la crème from men who will submit their video profiles through her site, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Internet dating.”

Only a few days into 2009, the self-professed go-getter already has dates lined up and is ready to mingle and meet her groom. Though her approach may seem far-fetched to most, Pickett has no doubt that this will be her year to wed. The adventurous Capricorn took a break from her love quest to chat with ESSENCE.com about her inspiration for 52weeks2findhim.com, past dates gone wrong, and what will happen if she can’t find a husband in 12 months.

To read the interview, click here!

[From Times of India]

MELBOURNES: An Indian-born Australian woman who allegedly set fire to her husband’s genitals suspecting his fidelity has appeared in a local court with fresh charges of murder slapped against her.

Rajni Narayan, 44, who allegedly murdered her husband, in a bizarre manner by torching his genitals which set her Cleveland Avenue townhouse in Adelaides ablaze had later told her neighbourers “it’s just a penis I wanted to burn I didn’t mean this to happen”

Narayan who suspected her husband of having an affair told the neighbours, “I am a jealous wife, his penis should belong to me, I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else.”

Is this story crazy or what? If she burned his penis, doesn’t that mean SHE can’t use it either? Was this woman totally out of control, or would you do the same thing? Let us know! And to read the rest of the article, click here.

A woman requested that her husband let her smell his penis after she suspected him of cheating. So what did he do? He beat her up.

According to Florida’s TCPalm newspaper,

PORT ST. LUCIE – Police are seeking an arrest warrant for a man accused of hitting his wife after she asked to smell his penis to determine whether he was cheating with another woman, according to a police report released Wednesday.

The 37-year-old victim told investigators her husband of three years punched her face and kicked her arms and legs Monday night after she accused him of having an affair.

The victim said she told her 25-year-old husband as he used the restroom “to display his penis to her so that she can smell it,” the report states.

She said she asked him to show his genital area so she could determine whether he was cheating with another woman.

As she went to sniff her husband’s penis, he reportedly punched her mouth and started to kick her when she was on the floor. The husband then fled the scene.

Police saw bruises and red marks on the victim’s mouth, legs and arms.

She became uncooperative when told a warrant would be filed for her husband’s arrest.

Have you ever asked a potentially-cheating mate if you could “smell it”? Is it even worth all that? Tell us!