(From sheknows.com)

There’s nothing like the companionship of your best girlfriend — you know, that girl with whom you can swap any secret, whose closet you can raid and who will tell you that yes, you do look fat in that dress.  Here are some tips to help nurturing your special relationship from sheknows.com:

1) Be her #1 fan

Support your best friend in all that she does. Feel happy for her when she succeeds, and carry her through when she hits her roadblocks. Talk her up positively to other people and keep her in your thoughts. Look for her size when you’re shopping. When you see something out in the universe that reminds you of her, send her a text to let her know. This will instantly bring a smile to her face.

2) You, you, you

Even though your best friend loves you and wants to know all the dish on you, it can’t be “me me me” all the time. One of the most important attributes of a best gal pal is her ability to listen. Learn to become singularly focused on her, asking her questions about her situation instead of sharing your experiences. Let her ramble even when she is being repetitive; keep your mouth shut and your heart open, always.

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3) Be there when life bites her in the booty

Being the BFF when times are good is easy, but showing up when her life is sucking is crucial. We know you’re busy, but take a moment to call or show up at her door. The gesture will speak volumes. Although you may not have all the right words, right away, your presence alone will be the comfort she needs. Just show up ready and willing (without judgment) to give her whatever she needs, be it recovery from a cheating boyfriend or job search help after getting pink slipped.

4) Challenge her

A good friend is unafraid to challenge her friend’s actions, especially when they seem risky. There’s a fine line between challenging her ideas and telling her what to do, however. Be careful that you stay on the side of provocative debate without crossing into mom territory. Otherwise, she may not want to share with you in the future.

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There is something about the way these people talk, we have met one–a liar! They have the best stories and most of them could be novelist the way that they carefully craft the details of their life in an effort to, I guess be more interesting. You are intrigued by the lifestyle and taken in by the interesting and exciting, new person in your world. But do not allow yourself to be pulled into their universe because that road only leads to disappointment.

A pathological liar is usually defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. Pathological lying is often viewed as coping mechanism developed in early childhood and it is often associated with some other type of mental health disorder. A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right , according to truthaboutdeception.com

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There were signs that this was not an honest person but you weren’t paying attention so here is a recap.

1. No stories are too elaborate: Look, most people have elaborate things happen to them occasional, but no one but ‘Sasha Fierce’ has a fabulous life all of the time. These people never really connect the dots and/or introduce you to “key players” in their skims because all of this is a figment of their imagination.

2. They get annoyed if you ask questions: When people volunteer information, then you ask questions to clarify and they seem bothered– that’s a red flag. When someone is telling the truth they will answer questions willingly.

3. There is no one who can verify this “truth”: If a person never has an alibi for whatever story they have made up. Just walk away because a liar will never stop!

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With these types of women by your side, you’ll be able to weather any storm and rise to any challenge.  Here are three types of friends you’d be lucky to have from shine.com:

1. The Cheerleader

Who she is: Whether she’s an old pal or someone you just met, her hallmark is her glass-half-full outlook.

Why you need her: Who couldn’t stand a little rah-rah from time to time? This kind of friend is like a sunny spring day. You feel lighter and happier being with her. Not only can she bolster your mood, she’s also the one to nudge you toward something you want to try—applying for a new job, getting a new hairdo—that you might otherwise fear.

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2. The Advice-Giver

Who she is: A colleague, a mentor, your mother—or just the smartest, most even-keeled person you’ve ever met—who’s the best advice-giver you know.

Why you need her: She’s the wise one. Nothing shocks or surprises her, and no matter what you come to her with, she won’t judge you. Instead, she’ll be there for you—after the breakup, when you’re shopping for a new home—with steady, smart counsel.

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3. The Oldest/Childhood Friend

Who she is: The one who’s known you since junior-high sleepovers, if not since you were both in diapers.

Why you need her: Quite simply, because she gets you. You don’t have to explain yourself to your oldest friends. She knows where and how you grew up, knows your parents and siblings, and gets the references to schoolteachers or hometown hangouts. Plus she tolerates your, shall we say, quirks, such as your frequent lateness or your sarcastic humor.

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1) Your friend is jealous of you. Jealousy is different than envy and the first can be very toxic for the relationship. Jealousy is: “I want what you have and I want you dead or disappeared.” Envy is just: “I want what you have.” A jealous friend will want to cut you out of her life because she really wants what you have and can’t stand to be around you anymore. An envious friend will want what you have, but will look to you as her inspiration or role model, and compete with you to get in the lead.

2) Your friend is a “doormat“: It’s tiring to always be with someone who is so malleable.

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3) Your friend wasn’t there for you. It’s sometimes hard to see if a friend is really a true pal until there is a life-changing moment in your life that requires the person’s support. This eye-opening event is called The Inciting Incident, which is when everything is going along fine, until wham! someone gets sick, or loses their job, or gets married or loses a loved one, and you find that the friend you thought would be by your side isn’t there for you at all. She doesn’t celebrate your good news nor does she help you in times of need. For some women it takes an “inciting incident” to finally notice that a friend is toxic.

4) Your friend is draining you: You feel you’re psychologically and emotionally giving all your energy to her and receiving nothing in return.

5) You don’t share the same values or the same world view: It’s a red flag that this isn’t the right friend for you if you don’t respect her for who she is. I interviewed a woman who wished her friend’s husband ill. It made the married woman realize that her friend’s behavior is nothing like her own.

Is it time to end the friendship?

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Guys always ask, why do women fake orgasms and to be honest I can only think of one reason. We are scared to hurt the guys feelings or confront the situation at all. There maybe a few reasons for this: you are a prude, you are a protector of feelings, you don’t know how to bring it up, etc. Whatever the reason, women all over are not getting satisfied because they will not speak up.

Guys Need To Speak Up, Too!

The benefits of speaking up outweigh the fear by leaps and bounds. If you don’t want to take my word for it, picture a world with a bunch of sexually unaware men. If there was never that brave woman who spoke up and said “honey, you are doing it all wrong,” all the women who were sexually active after her would not have had the pleasure they received by the man who now knew what he was doing.

Next time you are getting ready for a steamy session between the sheets, remember to thank the brave women who spoke up before you. Also, if you aren’t getting what you want, find the courage to speak up yourself. What is the worst that could happen?

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Another example is work, how would you ever get the raise you deserve or become where you wanted to be if you did not speak up. The women who are the most powerful in business are the ones who are not scared to make demands and see them through. Women always fear aggression, but it actually helps you out.

Finally, think how many times you are scared to say how you really feel about something, “does this make me look fat?” If you answer yes, you probably feel bad, but I would rather have only you see me looking fat, rather than an entire crowd of people. There are times when you will get upset with roommates, family, and even friends but are scared to say how you really feel or what is bothering you. I have seen too many friendships end because women won’t speak up about the mistreating.

Don’t let this happen to your friendship!

Therefore, I beg my fellow women to stop the silence. Speak up for how you feel. You deserve to live life happy, not unhappy and silent! So speak up!

This makes sense for a few reasons.

1. Girls have caught on to the Wingman.

2. Females feel more comfortable talking to another female.

3. The unsuspecting female feels no pressure at first.

4. For some reason people are always more attracted to what they can’t have.

However, the are some things to look out for.

1. The most obvious is the unsuspecting woman may assume the couple is together.

2. When the unsuspecting woman finds out she may feel cheated.

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The first thing I learned when I was very little is that when a girl enters the “friend zone” she will be treated like a friend, out goes the lessons moms everywhere try to teach their little boys. I remember a specific incident when I was five with my best friend, he was upset at losing at a game so he took a plastic tube and smacked me across the face with it. This was no Chris Brown like beat down, but I can honestly say that was my first “friend zone” surprise.

Is It Time To End The Friendship?

The surprises certainly didn’t end there. When I was in High School and college I got my second “friend zone” lesson: men are gross. One day at a basketball game a bunch of guys and myself were enjoying the game when the topic of conversation turned to something I never thought would be talked about in a females presence, male pubic hair. That day I learned how often, what technique was used, and all the ins and outs of shaving the male pubic region.

A few years later I went to visit a male friend at college and got another lesson. When I walked in on Wednesday the fraternity house was a complete mess. I am talking dried milk spills on the floor, garbage piled in the stairwells, empty Solo cups in the hallways kind of mess. I was disgusted to say the least. Over the next two days the house underwent a transformation. Friday is when the girls come and the house that I saw on Friday was not the same that I saw Wednesday. Friday there was a smell of Lysol, no garbage in sight, and the house was completely put together. I was lucky enough to see the organized attack these boys had, too.These boys had a plan of attack more intense than some battle plans. For those unsuspecting women who came Friday, they had no idea what kind of pigs they were really dealing with, which I am sure is just how those boys wanted to keep it. The milk they were putting on their cereal came from the same jug a guy drank straight from just days earlier. When a man wants to impress a woman, he does some crazy things.

Are You Keeping It To Real?

Everything I learned in the friend zone was not bad or surprising, though. I learned that “just friends” works. My best friend and I have been such for almost a decade and it works just fine for us. We both know that we can go to each other with anything and have been through a lot together. I was the one there when he was having family problems, he was the one there when I watched multiple family members leave us. I have seen him in his most vulnerable state and he has seen me at my worst, but through it all we remain good friends.

My friends also taught me the loyalty that male friends have. When one of our friends was a little too intoxicated and started a fight, though the rest of the group thought he was wrong, they still had his back. Under no circumstances have I seen one of my male friends leave his friend without help. I have gone through many female friends in my life, but my most loyal friends are my guy friends.

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Overall, being in the “friend zone” has given me an insight on men that is pretty unique. I am not saying that all men are like mine or that what I have discovered is always true. I just know that when I see a group of guys sitting around talking or visit a guys house on the weekend I never have thought of it the same.

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Why is it so important to have that talk, though? If a “relationship” is going along at a steady clip and everyone seems happy, why disrupt a good thing? The answer is quite simple, eventually one of the partners is going to look to take that relationship to the next level and if the other partner doesn’t see it that way there will be problems. Nothing sets me off like one of my girlfriends saying “We are…whatever,” when talking about their relationship. If you don’t know what you are or even if you are in a relationship, of course there will be problems.

The DTR talk allows people to save months of wondering and debating what will come. Also, by setting the goals straight away it could save the heartbreak of finding out your dream man sees you as a friend with benefits. If both partners have the same expectations the only problems should come if one person readjusts their expectations. I am not saying you will have the perfect relationships just by defining your expectations, however it will at least save you that stress.

Have you ever had the DTR talk? Let us know how it went!

Where is the line between “keepin it real” and being hurtful? When does a person stop being honest and start being hurtful? I think most of us can agree that fakeness isn’t exactly uncommon in today’s world. It is for this reason that being honest, even if not everyone will react positively, is a virtue. But most of us are also familiar with a phenomenon I’ll call “keepin it too real”. If you or someone you know can relate to most of the following list, it may be a case of keepin it too real:

1. Do your family and/or friends frequently ask you, “Why would you say that?” Obviously, there are people who are unable to take any kind of criticism. But if your opinions constantly cause others to react in surprise and anger, you might want to consider what you are being so honest about.

2. Do you ever ask yourself why you’re telling someone information? I think most of us can agree that informing a friend that her man is being unfaithful or that a dress she’s trying on does nothing for her are examples of (usually) constructive honesty. But what about telling someone that her man kind of reminds you of Steve Urkle? Is that just being “real”?

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3. Do you have a “That’s just how I am, deal with it” attitude regarding your personality? If so, one question you might ask yourself is if you believe every part of a person’s personality is perfect. What about the idea that part of life is about learning about yourself and improving who you are? If you realize that your brutal honesty is alienating you from others, maybe that could be an area of yourself to evaluate.

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What do you think, hello beautiful?? When does keepin it real go wrong?