Paul recently did an article on Essence.com giving six reasons why a woman should date more than one man at a time. If you’re anything like me, you think of dating as a skill that is to be learned, practiced and perfected and if you’re single, then maybe it’s time to change up your dating routine with some fresh advice from the modern day match maker himself. Take a look at the reasons that Paul gave, and see if they match up to your personal dating techniques. (Feel free to take notes and practice when necessary)

1. Dating takes time-”if you choose to date sequentially, on average, it will take you longer to meet “the one”. On average, a woman will date 27 men before finding Mr. Right. Assuming the average number of months you date each person is 1 (this is a very conservative estimate), dating sequentially would mean an average of 10 1/2 years of dating to find your beloved!”

2. Dating is a learned skill- “the more you date, the better you will become and the better you become, the more you’ll enjoy dating”.

3. He’s dating multiple people- “The reality of dating is that, whether men are honest about it or not, MOST of them are already dating aggressively — however, only few disclose it.”

4. Comparisons allow you to see who stands out- “when dating aggressively you can see how they stack-up against the competition”

5. Your dates will show intention faster

6. Don’t front, a dating strategy is effective- “We rarely do anything successfully in life without a plan… dating should not be different.”

With summer just around the corner, it’s time to put some of these dating rules into effect!
Read more here.

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Essence

2011 Grammy Nominations! Jazmine, Rihanna, Sade, Fantasia & Nicki Up For Awards!

Also in attendance were the Bad Boy family, Leona Lewis, LeToya Luckett and more! Check it out:

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Janelle Monae Still Wears Only Black & White To Paris Fashion Week [PHOTOS]

Check out Miss Luckett looking fab:

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Shoes Too Tight? You Can Get A Smaller Foot!

Barack Obama Shares Ups And Downs With The Ladies Of “The View” [VIDEO]

NewsOne is reporting that magazine Essence is set to formally hire Elliana Placas, a former staff member of O! Magazine and US Weekly.

Citing a Clutch Magazine interview with both a current writer and former employee, the article reveals that the company that owns Essence, Time Warner, is behind the move.

It is obviously too soon to know what backlash the magazine might suffer as a result of the decision, but it does raise some interesting issues.

Can a woman who is not black successfully coordinate the fashion orientation of an iconic magazine directed at black women?

Is it a slap in the face of the loyal readers of Essence to hire her?

What direction will the magazine take in the near or long term future?

You can read more of the except from NewsOne by clicking the link below.

Controversy Surrounds Essence Hiring White Fashion Director

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Keri Hilson shared the stage with El DeBarge at the 2010 Essence Music Festival. She performed her own hits and songs she’s featured on and surprised the crowd when she welcomed El DeBarge to the stage to perform “I Like It” with her. Video will be posted once available.Take a look at the pics below:

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Alicia Keys Takes A Spill At The Essence Music Festival

VIDEO: Janet Jackson Performs At Essence Music Festival

Mary J Bligeadded two more accomplishments to her impressive resume: She received her high school diploma, and she unveiled her new fragrance, My Life, at this weekend’s Essence Music Festival.

Named for her emotion-filled 1994 album, My Life is Blige’s first foray into fragrance and the first celebrity scent released by natural skin care company Carol’s Daughter where she is an investor in the beauty brand.

The fragrance, which will go on sale July 31 on the HSN television shopping network, is a floral scent, with notes of gardenia, Bartlett pear and white freesia, finished with undertones of wood, praline, sesame and incense. One dollar from the sale of every $46 bottle will go to Blige’s foundation’s work aiding disadvantaged women.

SOURCE

Mary J Blige Reveals Inspiration For Her “My Life” Perfume

Mary J Blige Launches Sunglasses Line

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VIDEO: Mary J Blige Performs On GMA

R&B singer Monica took to the stage to open the Essence Music festival and performed a series of her biggest hits including her new song, ‘Love All Over Me’. In addition to her own material, Monica once again performed a tribute to her close friend and mentor Whitney Houston.

Watch her performance below:

Monica At Essence Music Festival

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VIDEO: Janet Jackson Performs At Essence Music Festival

GIRLFIGHT: Monica Vs Vivica Fox

More Essence Festival 2010 coverage to come. Stay tuned…

Does Monica Have A New Man?

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It’s been two years since singer Janet Jackson performed on a concert stage and her fans say that’s been two years too long.

The singer made her first stage return today with an opening night, first-time performance at the Essence Music Festival inside the Louisiana Superdome in New Orleans.

“I’m excited, we’re excited,” Jackson said in an interview prior to her appearance. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been on stage and we’re just excited to get back out there.”

Fans got a glimpse of her new, sassy, short-cropped hair where she rocked classics like “Again” and “Nasty” and her latest release, “Nothing,” from the soundtrack of the movie, “Why Did I Get Married Too?,” which she also starred in.

Take a look:

Source

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VIDEO: Janet & Sexy “CSI” Star Get Steamy For Essence

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PHOTOS: Janet On The Set Of Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls”

Zoe Saldana graces the cover of the April issue of Essence magazine. The “Avatar” actress talks about her love for sex and her longtime boyfriend Keith:

S is for sex: “Love it, love it, love it—can’t live without it!” Saldana exults. “I love sex. I love skin. I don’t believe the body is something to hide. I think in American society we’re messing up our kids by taking away the education on and awareness of our sexuality and replacing it with violence, guns and video games—and we’re breeding little criminals.”

B is for boyfriend: When it comes to intimate relationships, Saldana, who currently lives with her longtime boyfriend, Keith Britton, likes to be knocked off her feet. “I’m more of a punch-drunk-love kind of girl,” she admits. “I mean punch as in that pow, that jolt, that kick in the gut. I like things that are severe, passionate and extreme.”

Zoe Saldana wants to have more sex and travel

Max Mara names Zoe Saldana “Face Of The Future”

Mary J Blige was recently honored at Essence “Black Women In Music.” Blige owned the red carpet in an orange curve-hugging one-shoulder dress and fierce black heels.

Take a look at some of the pics from their Black Woman In Music Celebration in LA.

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Blige will be performing a special version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” at the Grammy awards on Sunday which will be available to download after the event with proceeds benefiting the Haiti relief effort.

Mary J Blige and Andrea Bocelli to sing Haiti tribute at Grammys

Has Mary J fallen off the wagon?

Hottie Idris Elba graces the cover of Essence magazine’s August 2009 Bachelor issue.  In his cover story he talks about what turns him on, the type of women he likes to date and relationships.

On Dating:
“I’d rather date someone who’s regular. But what often happens is that she faces huge criticism like , ‘Why her? She’s Miss. Ordinary’ “

On the type of women he likes:
“Be an independent woman. I love that……”
“But at the same time don’t be ashamed to, you know, throw your toys on the floor and let me pick them up.”

On relationships:
“There is something quite devious about my personality,” he confides with a sly grin. “I’ll do all the right things. I’ll be the upstanding gentleman but behind closed doors, I want to let loose. As long as I know my secrets aren’t going to get out. You know what I mean?”

Idris on His Previous relationship and 7 Year Old Daughter
“It’s complicated when you were once an item and then you’ve got this child who is so untouched by the drama that you both had…..I understand how people get hurt and have arguments. But we work through it.”

We love us some Idris!!

If you want more Idris, his smash hit movie “Obsessed” comes out on DVD today!!!!

Check out the chocolate hottie below: Idris Elba

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Does Idris deserve a singing career?

Check out Idris at the “Obsessed” premiere a few months ago

Gabrielle Union graces the cover of the latest edition of Essence Magazine. The actress opens up about gossip blogs and for the first time openly talks about her relationship with basketball player Dwayne Wade:

“The only marriage that I’ve ever been a part of destroying is my own, and it’s not my place to talk about anybody else’s…”

With a new sci-fi gig and a turn as a producer in the works, as well as finding a new love, the Hollywood starlet is busy reinventing her brand and enjoying the ride. But, as she tells ESSENCE in the article Living My Life, it’s the recent gossip about her love life from bloggers-claiming that she’s done everything from given birth to partying with a different man on her arm each night-that hurts the most. The actress says she’s not backing down, she is fighting back.

Gabrielle tried to keep D-Wade a secret

Check out Gabrielle at Alozono’s summer groove

The First Lady and her mom Marian Robinson will appear on the May cover of Essence magazine.  Once again, went for an affordable all-American brand. The First Lady posed with her mother Marian Robinson in a $126.75 Talbots‘ rose print silk dress.

Michelle Obama gives J. Crew serious business.

Interviewed by Essence in the first lady’s East Wing office at about a month after the Inauguration, the mother-daughter team discuss family, life in the White House and the importance of good role models. Robinson, 71, says her role model is her daughter:

“Michelle has always been Michelle. And she has always accomplished whatever it was she set out to accomplish,” Robinson says in the interview, which is not yet posted online. “I have always looked up to Michelle because she has been able to do things that I couldn’t do emotionally, psychologically or physically. I think she is amazing.”

Click here to see our First Lady Wows London gallery.

What would you do if your son or daughter was diagnosed with autism? Actress Holly Robinson Peete’s son Rodney, Jr. was diagnosed with the disorder at the age of 2 1/2 and she has been tackling autism and erasing the stigma associated with it ever since.

As a parent of an autistic child, Holly Robinson Peete has been a staunch advocate for children living with the disease and their parents. Now, the actress, whose 11-year-old son developed autism after receiving vaccinations when he was just 2-and-a-half years old, serves as the first African-American to sit on the board of Autism Speaks, an organization dedicated to increasing awareness and prevention of the disease. The activist and mother of four shares her thoughts with ESSENCE.com about comments made by actress Amanda Peet, the spokesperson for vaccinateyourkid.org, who recently said that vaccinations don’t cause autism.

Do educational DVD’s work for your children?

I’m really disappointed to hear people like Amanda Peet-who have never been affected by autism-make public allegations like vaccinations don’t cause autism. It makes me angry because it’s so disingenuous to have this kind of public discussion, especially when World Autism Awareness Day is coming up on April 2. But I know exactly what she is trying to do and that’s to instill fear: if your child doesn’t get vaccinations, you’re going to make every other child sick. Believe me, I understand both sides of the argument because I have four children. Although I have total respect for what any mother feels is best for her child, you can’t tell me what is right, because it’s not necessarily going to work for my kid. I know because I’ve experienced it with my eldest son.

Click here to read more of this story.

Reward vs. bribery, what’s the difference?

Our favorite Mom and Dad authors, Lamar and Ronnie Tyler of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com, have an exclusive interview on Essence.com! Says Essence,

Black love is alive and well and Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are spreading the message one blog post at a time. The happily married couple launched BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com in 2007 to celebrate the Black family, and the site quickly took off. ESSENCE.com caught up with the tech-savy duo and parents of four to get details on how they make their relationship work, the joy of a blended family and why the Obamas aren’t as rare as people think.

Want some of the married couple’s insight? Click here to check out the full interview.

Not familiar with Black and Married with Kids? Check out some of their posts here.

What about our other favorite parent? Check out Jerry’s “Fatherhood Fridays” blog here.

“The Game” star Tia Mowry was looking super cute and super pregos at yesterday’s Essence Black Women in Hollywood luncheon in Beverly Hills. It hasn’t been confirmed, but even if it’s just weight gain, her hair is thick and healthy and her skin is glowing – she looks great!

Yesterday, beautiful black celebrity women stepped out for the second annual Essence Black Women In Hollywood Luncheon. While some celebs like Halle glammed it out proper and some like Laila Ali opted to dress down in jeans, others chose the middle ground by wearing little tea dresses like the one you see on Sanaa Lathan, above.

I’m feeling some kind of way about this dress. Maybe it’s the bow? Or maybe I just don’t think it flatters her figure too well. I can’t decide. What do you think?

Yesterday Essence applauded all the amazing Black women in Hollywood. Just about everyone who is anyone showed up. See the photos below!

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What do you think of Sanaa’s dress??? SPEAK ON IT HERE!

Check out more CELEBRITY PHOTOS on TheUrbanDaily.com!

Oscar Award winning actress Halle Berry will appear on the cover of the March 2009 issue of ESSENCE; the issue, which hits stands on Monday, February 12th, will be her 7th ESSENCE cover.

Berry, speaks to Essence about being a mom to adorable daughter Nahla, finding love in unexpected places and her upcoming role in the movie, Frankie and Alice:

“I feel more married now than I did in any of my actual marriages. We live the truth of that and that’s more important than a piece of paper.”

You go Halle!!!

[From Essence.com]

The Reverend Jesse Jackson, Sr., is one of the only other African-American men to be seriously considered for the Democratic nomination as president. Rev. Jackson’s two presidential campaigns hit a milestone in U.S. politics: in 1984, his campaign registered over 1 million new voters, won 3.5 million votes and aided the Democrats in regaining control of the Senate in 1986. In 1988, his campaign registered over 2 million new voters and won 7 million votes.

A civil rights leader and founder of the RainbowPUSH Coalition, Inc., Jackson sat down to write an open letter to President Barack Obama. With the passion Jackson is known for, he challenges the nation’s first Black President to carefully examine important policies including those relating to the economy, education and Voting Rights Act.

To read the letter, click here!

(From essence.com)

After months of having her marital woes in the gossip columns, Turks and Caicos First Lady Lisa Raye opens up to ESSENCE.com about the failure of their marriage, her previous fear of becoming a First Lady, and why she’s no opportunist.

ESSENCE.COM: Nice to hear from you. You’ve laid low since all the hoopla surrounding your marriage to Turks and Caicos Premier Michael Misick. How have you been holding up?
LISARAYE McCOY-MISICK: Why is it that people don’t embrace one another when we’re going through a tough time? Some of the things I read about me were so wrong and hurtful, but I am fine. It’s okay to move forward because things happen. Does it hurt? Yes. Am I disappointed? Incredibly. But this too shall pass.

GALLERY: Wildest Celebrity Divorces

ESSENCE.COM: Is it difficult to go through rough times publicly, especially with a spouse.
LISARAYE: Yes. There is a law in Turks and Caicos that you must remain married for three years before you begin any kind of divorce proceedings. If you want to get a divorce before that you have to be able to prove certain things that will grant you the right to do so.

ESSENCE.COM: What evidence did you provide that helped you in your case?
LISARAYE: I can’t be specific right now. I will say that there are things that happen within a marriage which can disrespect the union and actions can be taken against those things. As an actress, I have put myself out there as an independent Black woman, a single mom, a go-getter, a hustler who isn’t afraid to survive. If you get with a man who goes against who you are or what you believe in, people who know you begin to say, “Hey, that’s not the LisaRaye I know.” As his wife, my name has been associated with things that I have nothing to do with, and I have to fight to clear my name.

For more to this story read here.

Jill Scott said she didn’t think it was possible for to have kids because she was told she couldn’t conceive, and had given up hope of becoming a mom.

Scott recently opened up to Essence magazine about her pregnancy. Here’s a quick snippet:

What a blessing-a miracle baby! After you got over the shock where did you stand emotionally?
SCOTT: I had to slow down because after I found out, I was supposed to leave for Africa the next day. I called my doctor and talked about what I needed to do, what I couldn’t do and what I could do. I was just trying to take as many precautions and be as knowledgeable as I possibly could. Quite frankly, I was freaked out and everyone was asking me, “What are you going to do?” My agent was distraught, but it wasn’t about anybody else other than me finding out if the baby was going to be okay, so that’s what I did first-slow down.

Is that the sole reason that you chose to prolong the news?
SCOTT: Well, yes, that was a large part of it. Because I’m 36 and considered a high risk for pregnancy, I wanted to make sure that everything was okay. My closest friends and family knew and that was enough for me. Oddly enough, as pregnant as I am, I didn’t have time to enjoy my pregnancy because I was working
in Botswana for four and a half months playing someone else. It was a lot of hard work, and I’m not tripping about it because it was a wonderful opportunity and experience. So right now I’m chillin’- enjoying looking at cribs, mobiles, growing and finding maternity clothes and sleeping (laughs).

Read the rest of the article here.

ESSENCE.com has your go-to guide for getting glam this weekend during all of the inaugural events.

Click here to see more.

As friends get married and biological clocks start ticking, many women start scrambling for a lifelong mate. So why not make it fun?

[From Essence.com]

Am I ever going to meet “The One?” Will I be single for the rest of my life? What am I doing wrong? These questions and others like them can be heard during a girls’ night out in Anytown, U.S.A. Beyoncé’s hit song has sparked a craze, with single ladies everywhere longing for Mr. Right to “put a ring on it.” But how far would you go to find that mate? Well, meet Neenah Pickett, a 42-year-old single woman who’s taking marriage matters into her own hands. Pickett is putting her pride aside and publicly announcing to the world her desire to find a man with the launch of her Web site, 52weeks2findhim.com. She’s made a New Year’s resolution that she’s determined to keep: to find a husband within a year. From blogging to taking polls on the best places to meet guys, Pickett is doing whatever it takes to reach her goal. With the help of friends and family, the New Jersey-based media consultant will choose the crème de la crème from men who will submit their video profiles through her site, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Internet dating.”

Only a few days into 2009, the self-professed go-getter already has dates lined up and is ready to mingle and meet her groom. Though her approach may seem far-fetched to most, Pickett has no doubt that this will be her year to wed. The adventurous Capricorn took a break from her love quest to chat with ESSENCE.com about her inspiration for 52weeks2findhim.com, past dates gone wrong, and what will happen if she can’t find a husband in 12 months.

To read the interview, click here!

[From Essence.com]

The best-selling romance writer shows you how to heighten your pleasure and feel more empowered in the bedroom. (We apologize in advance for making you sweat out your hair!)

1. Use your car for more than driving

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

2. Hook up in the hallway

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag-and any inhibitions-as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you’ve been waiting to feel his hands on you all day-and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

3. Make love to his mind

Ask your man one simple question: “What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?” It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you’re comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

4. Get on top

Forget about the missionary position-tonight you’re riding high. I know you’re nervous: I’m constantly getting questions from my readers about the woman-on-top position. But you deserve to take control at times. Not only will your partner appreciate being able to lie back and enjoy himself, but you’ll also feel empowered by taking the lead. And trust me, I’m sure if you need a little assistance on top, your man will help you get into the groove.

5. Spoil yourself

Manless at the moment? Try picking a night to tune out the rest of the world and indulge your senses at home. Turn off your phone, order in a decadent meal, and only leave your scented, candlelit bath to slip into a plush robe and head for bed. Top the night off by pleasuring yourself to sleep.

What are Zane’s 5 other sexy tips? Find out here!

From Essence.com

Where are all the great eligible Black Men?  Essence.com gives us a few tips on great places to meet men.

1. Business and Networking events — These events are definitely worth attending because of the caliber of men they attract!
2. Car Wash — There are usually nice men at the car wash.
3. Open Mic Nights/Poetry Readings — Hey, it worked for Nina in “Love Jones,” right?
4. Fraternity Conferences — These gatherings are filled with men-who went to college.

For more great places to meet men click here to go to Essence.com.

Looking for hot date spots?  Click here

From essence.com

The best-selling romance writer shows you how to heighten your pleasure and feel more empowered in the bedroom. (We apologize in advance for making you sweat out your hair!)

1. Use your car for more than driving

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

2. Hook up in the hallway

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag-and any inhibitions-as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you’ve been waiting to feel his hands on you all day-and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

3. Make love to his mind

Ask your man one simple question: “What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?” It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you’re comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

For more tips go to essence.com click here.

You’ve found the perfect dress, clutch and make-up for your New Year’s Eve bash, but what about your hair? The folks at essence.com show you how to style your hair to make a grand entrance this New Year’s Eve. Click here to find out more.

Still need some tips for New Years?  Click on the links below for great ideas from HelloBeautiful.

Best Evening Clutches

Best Party Dresses

Looks like NBA player Carmelo Anthony and wifey LaLa are doing just fine. The baller takes us inside their home.

Check out the pics here.

Oprah and various celebs got together last night to celebrate Editor-In-Chief Susan Taylor’s 37 years at Essence magazine.

Click here to see which other celebs were in attendance.