Kereen Odate, Acting Director at the Center for Women’s Development at Medgar Evers College in New York, says black women are reluctant to discuss sexual and domestic abuse for fear of “vilifying the black man.”

STUDY:  Half Of Black Girls Sexually Assaulted

This week, U.S. Senators Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) and Mike Crapo (R-Idaho) introduced legislation to reenact the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), an act originated in 1994 to provide $1.6 billion dollars to assist in the investigation and persecution of violent crimes against women. National organizations like the National Coalition Against Sexual Assault and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence backed this monumental act that would revolutionize how women across the country would receive the proper help in and outside of the legal system. Much like the SlutWalk movement of today, VAWA has been influential in bringing awareness to sexual and domestic violence against women, but like so many other mainstream initiatives, minority women have been left out of the discussion and the receive the short end of the stick for equality.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I endured my first (and last) domestic violence encounter; throughout my pregnancy, I was slammed against walls, drug down the hallways of my apartment, chased out of the house with a knife, and, the night before my baby shower, fought to keep a 200-pound man from choking me to death.

I spent most of my pregnancy in fear, afraid to tell anyone, not even friends or family. At 22 years old, I never experienced anything like that and while I knew that help was just a 911 call away, the fear of being alone drove me to never make mention of the abuse until many years after my daughter’s birth.

Like me, many Black women keep sexual abuse and domestic violence a secret to protect innately the ones we love.  What is this relentless behavior to preserve those who victimize versus our own selves? Many attribute this behavior to the slave history that buries itself in our psyche.

The sexual dysfunction between Black men and women, Odate says, is a direct result of the skewed purpose in which sex was used during slavery. “You were raped, “but you weren’t raped because it was for the purpose of making more kids to work on the plantation, so there’s a whole history involved.”

Even when news broke that Rihanna fell victim to Chris Brown’s anger, many misappropriated blame to Rihanna, citing she must have done something to “deserve” it. We (the societal “we”) rallied to protect and defend Chris and desperately searched for the redeeming qualities that came in the form of slick dance moves and Michael Jackson-esque pelvic thrusts. The delicate balance between self-preservation and keeping the “unified front” with Black men has caused more and more of us suffer silently at the hands of the very men we try to protect.

If 60 percent of our girls under the age of 18 are experiencing sexual assaults and the social and legal response to their encounters are limited at best, how do we begin giving girls and women the voice, courage, and resources necessary to stop sexual assaults and violence against women. In turn, raising our voices to give men the ability to learn about how to conduct healthy relationships, deal with the things that concern them most, and develop better ways to interact with women.

You do not have to suffer silently. The moments where the internal battle to save and protect him or me, in hindsight, seem so silly. However, those women who have been faced with the decision can understand that only love for self can foster the courage needed to walk away.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic and sexual violence, tell someone. If you are too afraid, contact one of the national hotlines specifically for victims of domestic and sexual violence.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or (206) 787-3224 (Video Phone for Deaf Callers)

RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline) 1.800.656.HOPE
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Apparently, the two have been in an intimate relationship for a little over a year now and had been living together.

Lucinda was arrested for “domestic abuse and assault without intent causing injury.” She was being held on a $2,500 cash bond. Man, I hope things get better between the couple!

Check out the video below. Read more here.

SMH, so sad to hear stories like this!

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Miami Dolphins Football Player Brandon Marshall Stabbed By Wife

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Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time the couple has found themselves in a domestic situation. Apparently, a year prior to the couple’s wedding, they were both arrested after someone saw them in a fight,  “kicking and punching each other”.  Brandon was also involved in another domestic situation with an ex-girlfriend before dating Michi in 2006 in which he was suspended from the team for violating the league’s policy.

Brandon’s recovery will take about 2-3 weeks while Michi remains at the Broward County Jail on $75,000 bond. She faces charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. OUCH!

According to TMZ, Brandon’s agent spoke out on the situation, stating; “This is a very difficult time for Brandon and family, thankfully he will make a full recovery … We simply ask that his privacy is respected.”

I always wonder what causes a woman to snap to the point where she would want to stab her husband. It leaves you to wonder what actually went down between to two to push her to the point of physically harming the man she loves. SMH domestic violence is never okay! I hope things get better for the couple! I definitely hate to see domestic violence in ANY type of relationship. *sad face*

Read the full story here.

Brandon Marshall and Michi Nogami

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Gloria Govan Discusses Return To “Basketball Wives” & Matt’s Domestic Abuse Arrest

Karrine “Superhead” Steffans Pens Open Letter On Domestic Violence

Unfortunately, this is not the couple’s first domestic dispute. Back in 2009, Sara actually stabbed her husband after an argument between the two went violent.  WTF!

Tony Stokes told TMZ “Everybody speculates and blows things out of proportion. It’s a crazy kind of life. We’re dysfunctional. We need our own TV show. I love my wife.”

Wow..I’m not sure if a reality show is what’s needed here. Do you guys think they need a reality show?

UPDATE: Sara Stokes Pleads Not Guilty To Stabbing Hubby

Sara Stokes Makes A Huge (Breast) Upgrade

Sara Stokes in Domestic Dispute

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“i have enough self respect and decency to be proud of accomplishing this DV class.. boyz run from their mistakes..men learn from them!!!thx”

Chris was court ordered to complete a year-long class. He will still remain on probation until 2014.

Wonder who he’ll receive Congrats from…

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See his tweet and diploma below:

Chris Brown

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GET THE REST HERE

Superhead Gets Dumped By Her Husband

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Superhead’s Hookups

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Here’s what she had to say:

I’ve been a victim of abuse all my life –– literally, for as long as I can remember. It is my norm. Whereas most people would run in the other direction the moment someone physically, emotionally, or mentally abuses them –– I stay.

It’s a sickness and just when I think I am cured, the cancer spreads.

For the past several years, I have been involved in a highly abusive relationship. I have been choked, whipped with belts, thrown about, berated, belittled, raped, and disregarded as a human being. I have been abandoned and embarrassed, then, loved and coddled.

READ THE REST HERE

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Superhead Gets Dumped By Her Husband

Superhead’s Hookups

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In an interview with The Talk, Niecy revealed that growing up, her mom was in a very abusive relationship. She said, “When I was a teenager, I saw my mother get shot by her boyfriend. He just turned in one moment, and looked like a person who you just did not recognize.”

Take a look:

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The alleged domestic incident between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and his baby mama may have been brought on by Mayweather’s jealous belief that she was seeing NBA player C.J. Watson, according to a police report acquired by TMZ today.According to the report, Mayweather read text messages on Josie’s phone … which included messages from C.J. Watson (pictured below), who plays for the Chicago Bulls. According to the report, Mayweather screamed, “‘Are you having sex with C.J.?’ Harris replied, ‘Yes, that is who I’m seeing now.’”

READ THE REST HERE

Floyd Mayweather Arrested; Baby Mama: He Beat Me In Front Of Our Kids

Floyd Mayweather Being Sought By Las Vegas Police For Domestic Abuse

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Things aren’t looking so good right now for boxer Floyd Mayweather. The mother of his three children, Josie Harris just filed for a restraining order following her allegations of domestic abuse and the details of the beating are CRAZY, and he was just arrested. Mayweather was arrested and booked for grand larceny related to the domestic incident. According to the report, Mayweather allegedly took personal items from Harris’ house.

According to TMZ:

Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s baby mama claims the boxer struck her “multiple times in the head with his fist” and then threatened to kill her … this according to documents obtained by TMZ.

Josie Harris went to court yesterday and filed a request for a restraining order against Mayweather — and in the docs she states that Floyd came into her Las Vegas home Thursday morning and awoke her by, “pulling me by my hair and throwing me on the ground in my living room and began punching me in my head.

She claims Floyd then began “dragging me on the floor and twisting my arm back … in attempt to try and break it.”

According to the documents, Josie claims Floyd “continued to beat me in front of [the couple's three children].”

Josie claims that Floyd threatened the children — saying if they “ran or tried to call the police he would beat them the same way.”

In the docs, Josie also says Mayweather “yelled and screamed that he was going to kill me and my boyfriend and make sure we are taken care of.”

Interestingly — Josie claims, in the docs, Mayweather had been at the house roughly two hours before the alleged attack — and was yelling at her about her new boyfriend.

Josie claims she had to call police … who arrived and escorted Floyd out of the home.

READ THE REST HERE

Floyd Mayweather Being Sought By Las Vegas Police For Domestic Abuse

Chilli & Floyd Mayweather’s Boxing Ring Photoshoot

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Boxing great Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a suspect in a battery domestic violence case, TMZ reports. Multiple police cars showed up at Mayweather’s home early this morning after receiving a call at 5:03 AM from Floyd’s baby mama, Josie Harris, who claimed the boxer attacked her.

Sources tell TMZ Harris went to Southern Hills Hospital in Las Vegas at some point after the incident and has now left.

Law enforcement sources say police were unable to find Floyd and are now looking to interview him.

Harris accused Mayweather of punching and kicking her inside a Bentley in Vegas in 2003. Charges were filed but dismissed in 2005 after Harris testified she lied to cops because she was angry that Floyd had left her for another woman.

DAMN Floyd!!!

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Matt Barnes, former Sacramento Kings player and fiance to VH1′s “Basketball Wives” cast member Gloria Govan, was arrested and booked into Sacramento County Main Jail on Wednesday night on a felony domestic violence charge, according to the Sacramento Bee.

Sacramento County Sheriff’s spokesman Sgt. Tim Curran said deputies responded to an incomplete 911 call from the 8100 block of Sunset Avenue at about 4:15 p.m., where they encountered Barnes and a woman “who lived with him and with whom he had a dating relationship.”

After speaking to Barnes and the woman, deputies determined that the two had been in a physical confrontation and Barnes had prevented the woman from talking to 911 operators. Curran said dispatchers heard the sound of a struggle in the background on the brief open line before it was disconnected.

Both parties had visible injuries but Barnes was determined to be the primary aggressor, Curran said.

Barnes is also charged with maliciously obstructing the use of a telephone line, Curran said. He posted a $50,000 bond and was released shortly before 9:40 p.m.

He is scheduled to appear in court Monday.

According to MTO, the two were arguing over whether Gloria and Matt’s relationship problems would be recorded for next season’s “Basketball Wives.” An insider explained,

“[Gloria] had been talking about their problems on camera, and Matt found out.”

We figured their relationship was on the rocks once they called off the wedding, but we didn’t think it had gotten to this point. Barnes’ neck does look a little red.

“NBA Wife” Gloria’s Fiance Matt Barnes Caught Cheating!

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Source

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GALLERY: Steve Urkel, Look How You’ve Grown!

Details: Your father set fire to your home when you were a kid in Queens, New York. What happened?

Nicki Minaj: He drank a lot and did drugs, and he would get violent when he did. When he set fire to the house, he was attempting to kill my mother. She got out before it burned all the way down. I’ve always had this female-empowerment thing in the back of my mind—because I wanted my mother to be stronger, and she couldn’t be. I thought, “If I’m successful, I can change her life.”

Details: What can women get away with in hip-hop that men can’t?

Nicki Minaj: I have a lot of freedom to be crazy. I can rap in a London accent, make weird faces, wear spandex, wigs, and black lipstick. I can be more creative than the average male rapper. And I can show my boobs. Guys can’t do that.

Details: As an openly bisexual rapper, do you think hip-hop is getting more gay-friendly?

Nicki Minaj: I think the world is getting more gay-friendly, so hip-hop is too. But it’s harder to imagine an openly gay male rapper being embraced. People view gay men as having no street credibility. But I think we’ll see one in my lifetime.

Details: As younger and younger fans come to your shows, do you feel pressure to tone down the racier elements of your persona?

Nicki Minaj: I do. I’m a role model now. I didn’t know I was gonna have 13-year-old fans, so I’ve tried to change a few things here and there. But I also know that the girls don’t want me to be Miley Cyrus, either.

Read the full interview here

Nicki Minaj

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I’m hearing something that’s very disturbing, Rihanna’s new boyfriend baseball player Matt Kemp is a woman beater.

According to mediatakeout.com, Matt’s ex-girlfriend, a model/actress named Felisha is claiming that Matt STALKED her, and THREATENED her. And that he has a history of FIGHTING WOMEN!!

Rihanna spotted in Mexico with new boyfriend Matt Kemp

And there’s more:

She even filed a RESTRAINING ORDER against dude. Here’s a portion of what it says in the restraining order:

I was in out home and he sat in his car with other “friends” watching me for over one hour. I was afraid and threatened.

He is threatening to take all the items I purchased (TV, washer/dryer, etc) and try and destrt my property. He has already taken some items.

He was suspended for 2 days from work [as a baseball player] for getting into a fight. He is violent and I am afraid.

The police told him that he cannot change the locks [on our home], but he did

That sounds pretty serious, sitting outside your house watching you . . . SHEESH. But she said more, check it out:

He was kicked out of a club for FIGHTING WITH A WOMAN. And now I am afraid his behavior will tun towards me since we are no longer dating and he has mentioned several times [that I have no idea what stress he’s under, and what he has to deal with

SMH!!!! Fighting a woman in the club . . . Rihanna if this is true, you may want to rethink this relationship!

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Rihanna and Matt Kemp’s lovefest continues

Former B2K member Jarell Damonte Houston aka J-Boog (third from left in photo) has been arrested due to domestic violence related charges.

Boog, reportedly arrested at his Los Angeles home yesterday late afternoon, has thus far been cited with ‘corporal punishment on a spouse’. He was also named in outstanding warrants stemming from driving offenses, with bail set at $66,354, according to jail records.

While details surrounding the arrest are limited at this time, neighbors, speaking with TMZ, reportedly heard screaming in the home early Monday, later spotting a reported six to seven police squad cars before Boog was arrested.

The former B2K star is rumored to have been living with the mother of his two children at the time.

Since the 2004 disbandment of B2K, J-Boog has been relatively quiet, making occasional appearances with Lil Fizz, also of B2K.

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We’ve all heard the story about the abuse Halle has gone through in a previous relationship, but now the Oscar-winning actress has decided to speak on the abuse that she saw her mother and older sister go through as a child.

Halle has never spoken publicly about the beatings her mother recieved by her father, Jerome Jesse Berry, who left her family in Cleveland, Ohio, when she was four. But she has said a boyfriend once hit her so hard she is still largely deaf in her left ear. The 43-year-old actress has been a low-key volunteer on the night shift at the Jenesse centre in Los Angeles for years but has only now chosen to reveal this part of her life, discussing for the first time how her father beat her mother and how she escaped her own abusive relationships.

According to timesonlinecom, Berry said she and her elder sister, Heidi, were still recovering from witnessing the violence inflicted on their mother, Judith, a retired nurse who was born in Liverpool:

“I saw my mother battered, and could not do anything to stop it,” she said. “My father was tyrannical, lashing out at her for no reason. I felt the effects that had on our family — I’ve experienced what these women have gone through.”

She said her mother was still working out why she took it for so many years. “That is a deep question, and I am not sure she will ever come up with one answer. I have one answer to anyone in a similar situation — get out.”

Berry never forgave her father, a hospital porter, even as he lay dying with Parkinson’s disease in 2003. He sold his account of their estrangement to a tabloid “for a pack of beer and cigarettes,” Berry said.

She wondered if her parents’ relationship had affected her past romances.

She said: “I never had to run to a shelter, but I did choose the wrong partners. Not always good men. Luckily, in recent years, I have been smart enough to hit the door when violence even becomes a possibility. That is something I will not tolerate.”

After two failed marriages, Halle is now settled with her boyfriend,Versace model Gabriel Aubry, and their 20-month-old baby girl, Nahla.

5 tips on how to be the hot mom

Take a look at Halle below:

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We’ve tried to stay away from this story as it’s so out of control, but now we’re hearing that Tiger’s wife Elin is being investigated for domestic violence against Tiger.

RadarOnline reports:

RadarOnline.com has exclusively obtained a police document that provides proof and details of the investigation and DCF’s attempt to make an in-home visit to the Woods’ residence just days ago.

The document – police dispatch notes – details that the investigation centers on possible domestic violence between Tiger and his wife taking place in front of their young children. Using police code, it also spells out that a unknown weapon may have been involved. A source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com that the weapon is a golf club.

Ladies, tell us if your husband was cheating on you and having threesomes with a variety of women, would you resort to violence, or would you leave?

Take a look at the couple below:

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Did SNL go to far with Tiger skit?

Blake Lively from “Gossip Girl,” a sitcom on the CW, and “Saturday Night Live” regular Kenan Thompson performed a skit this past weekend, which mocked famous golfer Tiger Woods and his current infidelity and crash situation that has made headlines for the past week.

But did the show go too far? Should domestic violence be made fun of? If this skit portrayed Chris Brown and a battered Rihanna, we have a feeling the audience wouldn’t be laughing so hard.

Dead Wrong! The NY Post Photoshops Tiger Woods

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Check out the couple below:

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The accompanying article suggests that Tiger’s scorned wife attacked him with a golf wedge after finding out about his infidelity. While on the surface this picture seems humorous, a deeper look reveals a very disturbing message.

Domestic violence is never taken as seriously when the typical roles are reversed, and a man is the victim of an attack. This in many ways is quite understandable, as women often pose a lesser threat of physical harm to men. But glorifying and making light of domestic violence in any form is misleading. It teaches people that physical harm is something that we can casually laugh at. However, this has a crippling effect on more serious cases of domestic violence, particularly in terms of violence against women. If we laugh at battery against men, then we are essentially laughing at the entire institution of domestic violence; this undoubtedly has consequences for the women who truly do suffer from this problem, yet cannot garner genuine support for their plight, because our society has come to make light of it.

Can a man change his cheating ways?

There is also a double standard evident in the photoshopped picture of the couple. Had the Post made the same alterations to a photo of Rihanna and Chris Brown, applying false bruises to the former and placing some instrument of violence in Breezy’s hand, there would have been much backlash. Though when the reverse is true, we are simply expected to laugh at the silly woman with the golf club in her hand.

It seems to me that domestic violence is not funny, no matter the victim’s gender. And to the New York Post, you are dead wrong for this picture!

Your thoughts? Is domestic violence funny when men are the victims?

Watch this video of Whoopi walking off the set of the View when the discussion about Tiger’s affair gets heated:

Check out the couple below:

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Hair care brand “Diva by Cindy” has launched its first annual “Donate to a Diva” campaign to benefit victims of domestic violence. The goal of initiative is to increase awareness of domestic abuse and to partner with businesses and volunteers to make and donate gift bags to women in nine shelters located in Maryland, Washington D.C. and Virginia.

At least 250 women from shelters in the Maryland, Washington D.C. and Virginia areas will receive special Donate to a Diva gift bags this holiday season to uplift theirspirits through a potentially difficult time of year.

“For years at my salon, Shades of U, we’d host residents from our local battered women’s shelter for a day of pampering,” says Cindy Tawiah, founder of Diva by Cindy. “Now, through the Donate to a Diva campaign, I want to help even more women to feel beautiful and cared for during the holidays.”

The nine shelters whose residents will receive gift bags are:

Hannah House, DC

N Street Village, DC

My Sister’s Place, DC

Family & Children’s Services, MD

Heal A Woman To Heal A Nation, MD

The House of Ruth, MD

Bethany House for Battered Spouses, VA

Fairfax County Women’s Shelter, VA

Loudoun Abused Women’s Center, VA

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These special Donate to a Diva gift bags are filled with some of Diva by Cindy’s signature products. Diva by Cindy is also partnering with local businesses to donate additional products and gift certificates to the bags. Companies like the Brown Sugar Candle Co. and consultants like make-up artist ArTIAstry have signed on. Other providers of beauty services and related goods are welcomed to contribute to the gift bags, as well.

As a special thanks to customers, local residents and domestic violence advocates who purchase the Donate to A Diva gift bag, Diva by Cindy is giving a Support A Diva Kit, which includes the new Divalicious Body Lotion, a Donate to a Diva campaign pin, plus a scratch-off card worth discounts on the next Diva by Cindy purchase.

Attorney’s future ends in domestic violence

Here are some high profile examples where women broke free from their abusive relationships:

The National Coalition For Men just released a statement in light of Rihanna’s public discussion of the domestic violence incident between her and Chris Brown. The coalition thinks that if Chris Brown should be held accountable for assaulting Rihanna, then Rihanna also needs to come clean about her history of violence.

LOS ANGELES/EWORLDWIRE/Nov. 5, 2009 — Pop singer Rihanna recently made a widely publicized statement to Glamour Magazine that she wants to “shed light on the reality of domestic violence.” The National Coalition For Men (NCFM) calls on Rihanna to discuss her own reported violence against Brown as well if she wants to shed light on the problem honestly.

According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face “numerous times” before Brown assaulted her (‘http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/768865/rihanna-hit-chris-brow…’). NCFM purports although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not “woman up” to it then her message will be the usual one-sided double standards that leave female perpetration covered up.

The saying, “There is no excuse for domestic violence,” applies to both sexes. Female violence in relationships is not rare but is often hypocritically deemed acceptable or humorous, such as in the film, Sideways. It is part of the cycle of domestic violence, which cannot be stopped without addressing the problem honestly. Children are damaged just by witnessing domestic violence, regardless of its severity.

A 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and as controlling as men in relationships worldwide (‘http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2006/may/em_060519male.cfm?type=n’,
‘http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41E2.pdf’).

A major study funded by the Centers for Disease Control found one-fourth of heterosexual relationships had violence and: “half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.” (‘http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/5/941′)

The same study also found “while injury was more likely when violence was perpetrated by men, in relationships with reciprocal violence it was the men who were injured more often (25% of the time) than were women (20% of the time).” (‘http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a’)

Over 200 studies now confirm the same thing, that “women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners,” as California State University Professor Martin Fiebert shows in his online bibliography at ‘http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm’. This data is more reliable than criminal justice data because men are less likely to report the violence or to respond positively to crime surveys because society still does not consider female violence as much of a crime.

If Rihanna sincerely wants to raise awareness about domestic violence, NCFM calls on her to be forthcoming about her own violence and to address the problem honestly.

Click here to learn how to break free from domestic violence

This has got to be my favorite part of Whitney’s sit down with Oprah.  When asked by Oprah how she managed to break free from Bobby, the singer said told Bobby she was going out for sugar and milk and never came back.  She then went to Los Angeles and put their house on the market and sold all the furniture and cars!!!

In the second half of her big comeback interview, which aired this afternoon, Houston says she had prayed for the strength to leave the controlling Brown, with whom she has a daughter, Bobbi Kristina, and didn’t know she was leaving until she was on her way to California.

Whitney also told Winfrey even though she’s now drug-free, she still has the desire for it.

Watch the entire interview here:

UPDATE: In Part 2 of her sit down with Oprah, Whitney Houston shares more details of her past drug addiction – and says that Michael Jackson’s drug-related death was “devastating.”

Take a look:

The singer continues her in-depth interview with Oprah today and will talk about how she is overcoming her need for drugs. She explains that she “prays” the temptation away, no matter how long it takes.

She also talks about her tumultuous marriage and how she was able to finally walk away from it.

Whitney refers to herself as a “soldier girl”, but it took her own little girl, Bobbi Kristina Brown, to convince her it was time to leave Bobby Brown.

Whitney reveals what Bobbi Kristina said to her. “She said, ‘You don’t deserve that and neither do I.’”

Bobby on Whitney: “I think we corrupted each other”

As you all know, Whitney is on Oprah today and she is airing the dirt.  Whitney discussed her rocky marriage to Bobby Brown and said she was “very hurt, very angry” and “horrified” when “he spit on me, in my face.” While this is not as drastic as Chris Brown beating on Rihanna, Houston admits Bobby Brown slapped her on one occasion. “But he got hit on the head three times by me,” Houston added. The 46-year-old also mentioned that their marriage got so bad that Brown was cutting her head off pictures and painting evil eyes on their bedroom walls with spray paint. Whitney also tells of one intervention-esque exchange she shared with her mother at the height of her marital woes.

Houston told Winfrey, “[My mother] said, ‘I’m not losing you to the world. I’m not losing you to Satan. … I want my daughter back.’” Houston told Winfrey her mother also had words of warning for Brown. Said Houston: “[My mother] said, ‘If you move, Bobby, they’re gonna take you down. Don’t you make one move.’ And he stood there like — he was scared.”

SMH!!! So glad Whitney took her mother’s advice and got help.

Click here for Whitney Houston’s craziest moments ever!

The singer also said that Bobby was her addiction and that they had a lot of sex.

Watch the entire video here:

Take a look at Whitney over the years:

Whitney talks to Oprah

It’s not every day you hear about a woman being arrested for abusing a man, but we just found out that former child-star Gary Coleman’s wife was indeed arrested for domestic violence.

According to contactmusic.com, Gary Coleman’s wife, Shannon Price, has been charged with two misdemeanors including domestic violence and disorderly conduct in Santaquin, Utah, where the couple have a home.

According to authories, Price allegedly broke household items and Gary was not harmed.

Shannon was booked at 8:32 p.m. and released on $1,205 bond.

Check out the couple below:

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The son of Motown legend Stevie Wonder has been arrested on domestic violence charges.

Police say they received a call about a verbal argument between Keita Morris and an unidentified woman and that the argument turned physical, according to TMZ.

How to break free from domestic violence.

When cops arrived they noticed marks on the woman and took Morris into custody.

He was held on $50,000 bond, which he later posted.

President and First Lady honor Stevie Wonder.

Battering on women is the most under reported crime in America. Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.

7 steps for ending violence against women.

Chiquita Tate appeared to have it all. She graduated from the top of her class at Clark-Atlanta University in 1996 and then obtained her law degree from Southern University in 2004. The 34-year-old attorney went into business for herself, starting the Tate Law Firm, LLC, where her motto was “We enthusiastically and aggressively fight for the needs and rights of our clients.” When she got married just over a year ago, it seemed as if she had finally completed the package. No one, not even those closest to her, could envision what was about to happen next. In the early morning of February 20, a Baton Rouge police officer found Tate’s bludgeoned body inside her law office. She had been stabbed 38 times.

Read more of this story here.

(From essence.com)

Teens more likely to forgive abusive boyfriends.

From EURweb.com

Lisa Binder, legal counsel for gospel superstar BeBe Winans and a member of Neal & Harwell, PLC has released the following statement in response to recent allegations of assault against her client:

“In response to Mrs. Winan’s recent statements to the media, the public should also know that on March 11, 2009, Judge Carol Soloman issued an Order of Protection in favor of BeBe Winans against Debra Winans arising out of the incident which occurred on Feb. 13th. Judge Soloman specifically stated from the bench (and in her order) that Debra Winans was “not found to be a credible witness.” Mrs. Winans has been unsuccessful in repeated attempts to interfere with Mr. Winan’s visitation with his children and there is a Criminal Contempt Proceeding pending against her in Williamson County, the arena in which these custody disputes should and will be tried. It is unfortunate that Mrs. Winans has now chosen to attack her children’s father on television. Mr. Winans will not participate in any public display that may affect his children’s well being, but will instead use through the proper judicial channels to insure that his rights as a father are protected.”

For more on the BeBe Winans case click here.

The Rihanna and Chris Brown story has inspired a online public service announcement (from DoSomething.org) about dating violence amongst teens. The PSA closes with the statistic that one in three teenagers is abused in a relationship and promotes free bracelets — one blue, two black — that spread awareness about dating abuse.

DoSomething.org also spoke on the choice to use white actors:

The organization used white actors on purpose to shift the conversation away from the celebrity singers.

“The public is very focused right now on Chris and Rihanna,” she said. “I think people need to realize that this is an issue that goes beyond those particular people, and it affects everybody of every race. And so we wanted this to not be an exact re-enactment. We wanted instead to say: Could this be you?”

Are teens more likely to forgive abusive boyfriends? Find out here.

Click here for Kevin Powell’s 7 Steps For Ending Violence Against Women.

Kevin Powell will be appearing on Oprah Thursday March 19th discussing domestic violence.  Check your local listings for times and channel.

Given all the hype and controversy around Chris Brown’s alleged beating of Rihanna, I feel compelled to post this essay I originally wrote in late 2007, so that some of us can have an honest jump off point to discuss male violence against females, to discuss the need for ownership of past pains and traumas, to discuss the critical importance of therapy and healing.

Let us pray for Rihanna, first and foremost, because no one deserves to be beaten, or beaten up. No one. And let us also pray that Chris Brown gets the help he needs by way of long-term counseling and alternative definitions of manhood rooted in nonviolence, real love, and, alas, real peace. And let us not forget that Rihanna and Chris Brown happen to be major pop stars, hence all the media coverage, blogs, etc.

Violence against women and girls happen every single day on this planet without any notice from most of us. Until we begin to address that hard fact, until we all, males and females alike, make a commitment to ending the conditions that create that destructive behavior in the first place, it will not end any time soon. There will be more Rihannas and more Chris Browns.

These are excerpts from the original essay.  The entire piece can be found in the new book “THE BLACK MALE HANDBOOK“.

1. Own the fact that you have made a very serious mistake, that you’ve committed an offense, whatever it is, against a woman or a girl. Denial, passing blame, and not taking full responsibility, is simply not acceptable.

2. Get help as quickly as you can in the form of counseling or therapy for your violent behavior. YOU must be willing to take this very necessary step. If you don’t know where to turn for help, I advise visiting the website www.menstoppingviolence.org, an important organization, based in Atlanta, that can give you a starting point and some suggestions. Also visit www.usdoj.gov where you can find helpful information on what men and boys can do to get help for themselves. Get your hands on and watch Aishah Shahidah Simmons’ critically important documentary film NO! as soon as you are able. You can order it at www.notherapedocumentary.org. NO! is, specifically, about the history of rape and sexual assault in Black America, but that film has made its way around the globe and from that very specific narrative comes some very hard and real truths about male violence against females that is universal, that applies to us all, regardless of our race or culture.

Also get a copy of Byron Hurt’s Beyond Beats and Rhymes, perhaps the most important documentary film ever made about the relationship between American popular culture and American manhood. Don’t just watch these films, watch them with other men, and watch them with an eye toward critical thinking, healing, and growth, even if they make you angry or very comfortable. And although it may be difficult and painful, you must be willing to dig into your past, into the family and environment you’ve come from, to begin to understand the root causes of your violent behavior.

3. Learn to listen to the voices of women and girls. And once we learn how to listen, we must truly hear their concerns, their hopes and their fears. Given that America was founded on sexism-on the belief system of male dominance and privilege-as much as it was founded on the belief systems of racism and classism, all of us are raised and socialized to believe that women and girls are unequal to men and boys, that they are nothing more than mothers, lovers, or sexual objects, that it is okay to call them names, to touch them without their permission, to be violent toward them physically, emotionally, spiritually-or all of the above. This mindset, unfortunately, is reinforced in much of our educational curriculum, from preschool right through college, through the popular culture we digest every single day through music, sports, books, films, and the internet, and through our male peers who often do not know any better either-because they had not learned to listen to women’s voices either.  It all begins with a very simple question we males should ask each and every woman in our lives: Have you ever been physically abused or battered by a man?

4. To paraphrase Gandhi, make a conscious decision to be the change we need to see. Question where and how you’ve received your definitions of manhood to this point. This is not easy as a man in a male-dominated society because it means you have to question every single privilege men have vis-à-vis women. It means that you might have to give up something or some things that have historically benefited you because of your gender. And people who are privileged, who are in positions of power, are seldom willing to give up that privilege or power. But we must, because the alternative is to continue to hear stories of women and girls being beaten, raped, or murdered by some male in their environment, be it the college campus, the inner city, the church, or corporate America. And we men and boys need to come to a realization that sexism-the belief that women and girls are inferior to men and boys, that this really is a man’s world, and the female is just here to serve our needs regardless of how we treat them-is as destructive to ourselves as it is to women and girls. As I’ve said in many speeches through the years, even if you are not the kind of man who would ever yell at a woman, curse at a woman, touch a woman in a public or private space without her permission, hit or beat a woman, much less kill a woman-you are just as guilty if you see other men and boys doing these things and you say or do nothing to stop them.

5. Become a consistent and reliable male ally to women and girls. More of us men and boys need to take public stands in opposition to violence against women and girls. That means we cannot be afraid to be the only male speaking out against such an injustice. It also means that no matter what kind of male you are, working-class or middle-class or super-wealthy, no matter what race, no matter what educational background, and so on, that you can begin to use language that supports and affirms the lives and humanity of women and girls. You can actually be friends with females, and not merely view them as sexual partners to be conquered. Stop saying “boys will be boys” when you see male children fighting or being aggressive or acting up. Do not sexually harass women you work with then try to brush it off if a woman challenges you on the harassment. If you can’t get over a breakup, get counseling. As a male ally, help women friends leave bad or abusive relationships. Do not criticize economically independent women because this independence helps free them in many cases from staying in abusive situations. Donate money, food, or clothing to battered women’s shelters or other women’s causes. Do not ever respond to a female friend with “Oh you’re just an angry woman.” This diminishes the real criticisms women may have about their male partners. American male voices I greatly admire, who also put forth suggestions for what we men and boys can do to be allies to women and girls, include Michael Kimmel, Jackson Katz, Charles Knight, Mark Anthony Neal, Jelani Cobb, Charlie Braxton, and Byron Hurt.

6. Challenge other males about their physical, emotional, and spiritual violence towards women and girls. Again, this is not a popular thing to do, especially when so many men and boys do not even believe that there is a gender violence problem in America. But challenge we must when we hear about abusive or destructive behavior being committed by our friends or peers.

7. Create a new kind of man, a new kind of boy. Violence against women and girls will never end if we males continue to live according to definitions of self that are rooted in violence, domination, and sexism. I have been saying for the past few years that more American males have got to make a conscious decision to redefine who we are, to look ourselves in the mirror and ask where we got these definitions of manhood and masculinity, to which we cling so tightly. Who do these definitions benefit and whom do they hurt? Who said manhood has to be connected to violence, competition, ego, and the inability to express ourselves? And while we’re asking questions, we need to thoroughly question the heroes we worship, too. How can we continue to salute Bill Clinton as a great president yet never ask why he has never taken full ownership for the numerous sexual indiscretions he has committed during his long marriage to Senator Hillary Clinton? How can we in the hip-hop nation continue to blindly idolize Tupac Shakur (whom I interviewed numerous times while working at Vibe, and whom I loved like a brother) but never question how he could celebrate women in songs like “Keep Ya Head Up?” and “Dear Mama,” on the one hand, but completely denigrate women in songs like “Wonda Y They Call U Bitch”? What I am saying is that as we examine and struggle to redefine ourselves as men, we also have to make a commitment to questioning the manifestations of sexism all around us.

Kevin Powell is a writer, activist, and author of the new book THE BLACK MALE HANDBOOK. A native of Jersey City, NJ, Kevin is a long-time resident of Brooklyn, NY, where he ran for Congress in 2008. You can contact Kevin through his website kevinpowell.net.

What do you think of Kevin’s 7 steps?  Share your thoughts!

Visit me on BlackPlanet.com click here.

BP Member – prettyvirgo07

BP member prettyvirgo07 shared a news article titled Lord Have Mercy: BeBe Winans Arrested For Domestic Abuse in the aftermath of all the C.Brown & Rhianna drama member ChocolateEskimo asked “what is this…domestic violence season?” Weigh in with your opinion we’d like to know.