Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I am a young mom of two children by two different guys. My daughter’s father is totally out of her life, but my son’s father is involved with him, but sometimes I wish he wasn’t.

On a recent doctor’s visit I was told I may have ovarian cancer. It doesn’t faze me or scare me, and if I do, I won’t seek medical treatment. I didn’t tell anyone and no one knows so far, but if I should have this cancer, I won’t tell anyone until the time is right. I have a custody agreement with my son’s father, but if I should die I will try to make it private and leave him with my parents. We have shared custody and nothing more.

When I was dating the father of my son, and when I got pregnant, I moved to Charlotte for a better job. Well, he did too, and soon after I found out he got married. It turns out that he was engaged to her while he was dating me, so now nothing he says really matters. What love I had for him is gone and he gets on my nerves. If I had to, and before I died, I’d give my son up for adoption and let him try to find him on his own. I wish I didn’t have his son, and despite the fact that I love my kids, I love my daughter more because I am still in love with her father. My son acts too much like his idiot dad and sometimes I find it hard to love him. If I could before I die tell him what a fat little faggot I think he really is, and such a joke. Sounds crazy, and I might, but I don’t care at this point. I welcome peace. And, no, I’m not depressed. I’d rather enjoy life.

Is there some way I can tell my ex what’s going on with me or do I have to? Can I just keep it to myself? What do you think? – Dying In North Carolina

“If He Goes To Grad School I May Have To Leave My Job”

Dear Ms. Dying In North Carolina,

My mouth dropped as I read your letter. My heart went out to you, and your children. I wanted to reach out and give you a hug. I felt the heaviness in your letter, and I’m sure receiving such news with no one knowing has got to be a shock to hear and deal with.

But, then I read your letter again, and again. After the third time I felt how selfish you were being and what total disregard you had for your family, friends, and loved ones. Yes, darling, you’re not getting sympathy points with me. I am pissed off. Why? Because you don’t care about anyone but yourself. I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but your resigning to your fate, which is your prerogative, only serves you!

You say you won’t tell anyone until the time is right. Uhm, boo boo, the time is right NOW! Why are you waiting? Why not seek treatment? Again, it is your prerogative, but it’s not a death sentence. There are options. There are alternatives, and as you’ve stated, it’s not certain you have it. Why not seek out a second and third opinion? Honey, in 2011, you folks will learn about going to multiple doctors and getting multiple tests done.

Can you imagine the pain your family, friends, and loved ones will feel if you don’t tell them and you wait until the last moment? It will leave so many unanswered questions for them. Why not let them support and nurture you through this process? Why not allow others who love you to share these moments with you and make them happy and joyous for you? And, what about your children? You didn’t say how old they were, but to leave them motherless, and they are not prepared for your death will devastate them.

Girl, it is your life, and you can do as you please, but I went through a similar situation with a friend of mines. He didn’t tell anyone about a deadly diagnosis he received, and like you, he didn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t until he became extremely ill and was on his death bed that others learned what happened. Many of us learned of his death after he passed. I couldn’t understand why someone would do something like that, but again, everyone has their reasons for what they do and why they do it.

Now, addressing the situation with your children’s fathers. Honey, honey, honey! Really!?! You can’t love your son because he reminds you of his father, whom you don’t like? Ugh, I can’t!!! Please stop it. That is truly silly and immature. Girl, you’re trifling. Yes, I said trifling. How dare you not love your son? He is from you, and of you. You can’t blame him for your feelings that you have against his father. Why take it out on the child? Why make him suffer? Again, you’re selfish, and have no regard for anyone but yourself.

Look, Ms. Dying In North Carolina, this is your moment. If you’re feeling like you’ve made peace with your fate, then make peace with everyone around you. Don’t leave this earth and haven’t cleared up loose ends. Complete what needs to be completed. And, I agree, don’t hold back any feelings, but don’t make this an angry and bitter ending. You can resolve all issues and matters in such a way that you’re complete, at peace, and happy, as well as for those around you. Spend quality time with your children. Love them equally, and without resentment or hatred for your exes. Chile, you’re a mess, and I won’t get caught up in your selfish tirade. I also suggest you get a second and third opinion on your diagnosis. If you can, take your parents with you, or a good friend. You need a support system. I am sure this is an emotional and mental experience, and having a good base of people around you will help you deal with what’s going on. I suggest that after you’ve received the news on what you’re dealing with, then get medical treatment. Explore all the options and what options you have. Again, this is not a death sentence. But, it’s your choice. Finally, get all your affairs in order. I can’t stand when families are dealing with a family member who is ill and they are not prepared. They wait until the last minute to scrounge up money for the funeral. Then the arguing starts with who is going to pay for what, and how much each family member needs to contribute, and who’s going to get what. And you know who suffers in the end, the children. It’s just a HOT ASS MESS! Honey, get things in order with your exes, and make sure you have a will. Yes, darling, get you a lawyer and write out your last will and testament. It’s time to stop acting like the child in this situation, grow up, and make sure your children will be taken care of. It’s not about you or your exes, it’s about the children and making sure they will be left in the best possible situation. And, lastly, seek spiritual counseling. You may say you’re at peace, but getting right with yourself, is not getting right with your Higher Power, and the mess you’re planning to leave. Stop being selfish, and be self-less. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

Can we get Bow Wow some help ASAP??? This sounds like someone calling out for help.

Take a look at his tweets below:

Bow Wow Imposter Crashes MTV Video Music Awards [PHOTOS]

Bow Wow & Angela Simmons Are Back Together

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When your husband dies, it’s one of the most traumatic experiences to go through.  However, for people in places such as Kenya, Ghana, Nepal, and Afghanistan, traditions make mourning even more difficult.  Rather than receiving support, these women are treated less like people and more like property.  They are forced to partake in activities such as “cleansing”, meaning that they must sleep with a stranger after their husband dies to purify themselves.

In Kenya,women property rights come into question after their husbands pass away.  Rather than being able to inherit their late husband’s property, the husband’s parents are entitled to it. Because of the inferior position in society that women have, a woman’s in laws have the right to claim whatever ownership the husband had. This leaves a woman homeless, property-less, and often with limited to no access to new opportunities.  In addition, women must take part in “ritual cleansing,” as previously mentioned.  This ritual cleansing by sex is meant to get rid of the evil spirits that are often associated with death.  It is believed that if the woman resists this tradition, her children will suffer.

In Ghana, in addition to sleeping with someone after a husband’s death, women are subject to other rituals that are meant to cleans their bodies.  These involve activities such as bathing in cold water, and sitting on a mat naked and habitually crying and screaming at different times in the night. These rituals are not only humiliating, but very dangerous for one’s health.

In Nepal, once a woman is a widow, some people consider her to be a witch.  This leaves her subject to hostile interactions and violent beatings from people in her village.

In Afghanistan, there is a very large number of widows because of the war.  Like Kenya, women are often stripped of their belongings and homes, forcing them to rely on their children and begging for any sort of support.  Rather than getting support from other people, women lose their husbands, support, and hopes for a strong future.

Not only is the idea of ritual cleansing repulsive, but it is terribly dangerous in terms of the spreading of HIV/AIDS. It is exactly what everyone is constantly saying not to do: Random sex. It seems that female’s bodies take the back seat when it comes to people’s beliefs.

How You Can Help:

Get educated: For more information about this problem, visit The Shocking Indignities Women Face.  You will find more about these countries and more about widows in other countries.  Also visit Widows in Third World Nations.  Read more about these and inform other people: This is something very important that many people are not aware about.

Donate: There are many organizations that fight indecencies such as this.  You should look into the mission statements and consider supporting organizations such as Loomba Foundation, Widows’ Right International, or the Bangladesh National Woman Lawyers’ Association.

Summer To Share: Get Satisfaction By Making A Difference

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Learn the Power Of Collaborations

A lot of things can change in a year, but La Toya Jackson’s opinion on what happened to her brother is clearly not one of them.

LaToya recently conducted an interview with Britain’s GMTV to mark the one-year anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death, and says she still believes what led to the King of Pop’s death and explained why she thinks Conrad Murray’s continued freedom is “a slap in the face” not only to the entire Jackson family, but to Michael’s fans.

And La Toya once again reiterated that she “never had a doubt” that there were in fact people responsible.

“Michael was murdered for his catalog,” she said. “That’s the bottom line, he was murdered for his catalog. And they knew that and they knew Michael was worth so much more dead than alive. His children deserve the truth, I think his parents deserve the truth, his family and his fans.”

Watch the video:

Katherine Jackson Deserves Grandmother Of The Year Award

Take a look at some rare photos of MJ and his kids:

The world lost child star Gary Coleman on May 28, 2010 when he died of a brain hemorrhage, the result of a fall in his Salt Lake City, Utah home just a few days before. Gary Coleman’s live-in companion and ex wife Shannon, who was at home during the incident, and who called 911 for help was also the person responsible for turning off Gary Coleman’s life support system as he lay helpless in a coma. What really happened during the death of Gary Coleman? The whole ordeal of his passing leaves a lot of uncomfortable and unanswered questions. Was there deception around the death of Gary Coleman? What do the planets reveal? Gary Coleman, born, February 8, 1968 was an independent Aquarius with a sharp disposition as indicated by his Moon in the ‘communicative’ sign of Gemini. Gary’s quick wit landed him a star role on the TV show ‘Different Strokes,’ as a child and kept him in the public’s eye up until the time of his death at the age of 42. Gary’s life was full of controversies, starting with the accusations he waged against his adoptive parents claiming that they stole the money he made as a child star, to the controversies which continued to follow him as he desperately tried to make a living doing various odds and ends jobs.

Gary had a very sensitive spirit as indicated by his Mercury, (the planet of thinking) in the sensitive sign of Pisces. But his health was always an issue from the very beginning of his life, and in his cosmic profile, Gary’s Sun; (the indicator of health and vitality) was extremely weakened by a debilitating connection with Neptune, the planet of delusions. Health Astrologers suggest that harsh connections, between the Sun and the planet Neptune can lead to disruptions in the eliminating of toxins from the body which can lead to kidney failure, and that is exactly what Gary mainly suffered from, kidney failure and had to have dialysis. But Gary’s weakened health conduction had nothing to do with his enormous spirit. Gary was a fighter and was often in the news taking a stand on someone who was trying to treat him unfairly.

Gary Coleman Dies At Age 42

The question is,’ was there deception or some type of unfair treatment given to Gary Coleman him which may have contributed to his death? And, based on the surrounding cosmic energies present around the time of his death, (the planet Neptune, which is also the planet of ‘hidden things’) there are strong planetary indications that something is being hidden and kept out of the public’s eye. Not to mention the fact that Shannon his ex wife, who clearly states on the 911 call that she can’t be bothered as Gary lay in a pool of his own blood, because she couldn’t ‘take the blood,’ to photos being taken by Shannon as Gary is seconds away from death in the hospital and sold to tabloids for money, rise a lot of questions, and unless an investigation is done in the circumstances of this death, Gary Coleman would have died the way he was born, without much human support and very little compassion. If his adoptive parents really would like to right a wrong, they should call for a full scale investigation and allow Gary to finally get the fair treatment he has always longed for.

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AUDIO: Coleman’s Ex Yelled At Him As He Bled

Bobby Brown is the latest celebrity victim of an online death hoax – the star’s rep has been forced to confirm he is alive and well following a spate of rumours suggesting he had died. Fake stories of Brown’s demise began circulating on Twitter this week.

Bobby Brown called into Atlanta’s V-103 radio station with Ryan Cameron yesterday to confirm that he is alive and well. He says:

I’m not dead. Not yet. I don’t plan to go anywhere anytime soon. That twitter is getting out of hand if they are killing me off that soon. When people started calling me to ask if I was “Okay” I started to wonder. Just because you don’t hear from me does not mean that I am Dead”

I don’t want to be dead man, I have too much to live for…

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Bobby Brown Headed To Court Over Child Support

Bobby Brown: “Whitney Is A Lesbian”

From PEOPLE:

The “Set It Off” castmates are still closer than ever.

While presenting Queen Latifah with the Power Award at the third annual Essence Black Women in Hollywood luncheon, Pinkett Smith became choked up over the recent passing of her father, who succumbed to a heart attack.

GALLERY: Stars Shine At “Black Women In Hollywood” Luncheon

“My father died last week, and I’m flying tomorrow to bury him,” said Pinkett Smith, 38. “But I wanted to come because when those types of losses happen a lot of things get illuminated and your priorities fall in line.”

She added, “When I think about Latifah I think about a woman who makes me feel loved. She can sit in the throne of my soul and just be there with me. She makes me laugh.”

Unable to continue her speech due to a heavy flow of tears, Pinkett Smith found herself on stage alone and unable to speak – until Latifah came up to stand beside her.

“This is what I’m talking about,” Pinkett Smith, said, picking up her introduction. “I don’t see her a lot, but she’s my girl.”

Queen Latifah Is Feeling Fit & Philanthropic At Almost 40

Will Smith Wants To Be President. No, Seriously.

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And only gets probation!

This story is too crazy to make up!

Mia Landingham plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter. Last summer, she sat on boyfriend Mikal Middleton-Bey, with whom she shared 3 children with, as he was face first on the couch.

Investigators say Middelton-Bey was 5’10″ tall and weighed 126 pounds while Landingham is 5’9″ tall. It’s not clear how much Landingham weighs. A police scale went up to 350 pounds – that wasn’t enough to accurately weigh the Cleveland woman.

She was sentenced to three years probation and 100 hours of community service.

Caught On Camera: Boyfriend Behind Model’s Acid Attack

Maia Campbell Out Of Rehab & Getting Reality Show?

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Cincinnati Bengal Wide receiver, Chris Henry died today after a heated argument with his girlfriend. A source close to the situation has exclusively told Bossip that Henry’s fiancée, Loleini Tonga has a history of domestic violence and a severe drinking problem. The source states, “I knew the next time Chris would get in trouble it would be because of that girl. She drinks all the time, they get into fights, and she has even bragged about getting into disputes with former boyfriends.”

Click here to hear the 911 call

Chris was injured after falling out the back of Tonga’s pickup truck after a heated argument. He was found on the side of the road with fatal injuries to his head. Currently homicide detectives are looking into the case. Henry and Tonga currently have two children together, and one child a piece from previous relationships.

Teammate and friend Ocho Cinco reacts to Henry’s death:

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Dwight Howard suing his baby mama for $9 million

Actor and producer Tyler Perry’s mother, Willie Maxine Perry, has died at age 64. There were no other immediate details about her death.

Late Tuesday morning, he sent out posts on his FaceBook and Twitter pages directing fans and followers to his Web site saying, “I just sent out an email that I’d like to share with you. Please check it out.”

“Willie Maxine Perry. February 12, 1945 to December 8, 2009. Thank you for all your prayers,” a message on Perry’s Web site said Tuesday.

Perry, 40, credited his mother, a preschool teacher in New Orleans, as the inspiration for his most popular character, Madea.

According to the FaceBook page “Please Pray for Mother Maxine Perry — Tyler’s Mom,” she has been sick since late August, although no details about an ailment were mentioned.

Our condolences.

Madea’s “Jesus” Rant Leads To Lawsuit

TRAILER: “Why Did I Get Married, Too?”

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Yesterday’s trending topic on Google,  was started on Twitter called #RIPKanyeWest. But, we’re happy to report that Kanye is alive and well.

The trending topic is rumored to have started after false reports of Kanye dying in a car accident began to circulate, while others think it has to do with Kanye stabbing himself in a video, and some think Kanye was the one who even started the death rumor.

But, Amber Rose is sticking up for her man and she took to her Twitter account to dismiss the rumors and try to create her own trending topic. Amber wrote:

This RIPKanyeWest topic is not funny and its NOT TRUE! He has people like myself and his family that love him very much.

Its in extreme poor taste to have that as a trendy topic. It’s totally disrespectful to make up a story like this where all human

and we all make mistakes and to say someone died cuz of a mistake is ridiculous. U wouldn’t want someone to say that about u.

Or someone u love it’s not funny.

#LongLiveYeezy !!!!!

Take dat HATAS! #LongLiveYeezy !!!

Nothing like standing up for your man!!!

Take a look at Amber and Kanye:

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Kanye and Amber love fest Italian style

Fab or Fug? Amber’s lip piercing

Michael’s family and friends said goodbye to the King Of Pop last night at Glendale Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California. Jackson passed on June 25th after a drug overdose.

Here’s some photos from the burial:

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Michael Jackson’s Cardiologist, Dr. Conrad Murray

Shout back! Hit me up @abiolatv on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, blackplanet, or PlanetAbiola.com. Buy my novel DARE by Abiola Abrams wherever you buy books.

Have a great day being you!

Velvet cupcakes & tiara kisses,

Abiola

The online world shook briefly when a story claiming Eminem was killed in a car crash circulated through different social networking sites on Sunday and throughout  the  morning.

According to xxl.com, Shady Records’ President Paul Rosenberg confirmed to the Free Press that there is no validity to the made-up story and that it began as a “Twitter rumor.”

The original posting is reportedly taken down from the Web, but this morning Twitter users were still asking the question “Is Eminem dead?” and fans were being pointed to a story on Yahoo News that claimed the “Relapse” rapper was using his cell phone before he died “in a terrible car crash.”

The fake news story even included a quote from a “Dr. Adams.”

Mariah gets “Obsessed” with Eminem:

Nick tweets weak comeback to Eminem diss

Mike Tyson is  speaking out about the horrible accident that claimed his 4 year-old daughter’s life and how he’s trying to continue living his life.

Mike will be appearing on Fox’s new series, Brothers, which stars Michael Strahan and Daryl “Chill” Mitchell.

The heavyweight champ will be making a cameo as he shows up on screen to collect money from Strahan, but adds that the acting gig is helping him get over his depression.

Says Tyson:

“I knew Chill over 25 years ago. I met Mike recently. I really was beating myself up over my daughter. I was staying in the house, depressed; it was a dark moment in my life. This keeps me functioning as a healthy human being.”

I am working with dealing with it. I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me.”

The show will premiere on September 25th with Tyson’s episode airing later in the season.

Watch the video:

Mike Tyson marries for the third time

Click here to see Mike over the years:

From NYtimes.com:

She died of cancer, said her son, Bob Findlay.

Ms. Sims is sometimes referred to as the first black supermodel.

“Naomi was the first,” the designer Halston told The New York Times in 1974. “She was the great ambassador for all black people. She broke down all the social barriers.”

Ms. Sims often said childhood insecurities and a painful upbringing — living in foster homes, towering over her classmates and living in a largely poor white neighborhood in Pittsburgh — had inspired her to strive to become “somebody really important” at a time when cultural perceptions of black Americans were being challenged by the civil rights movement and a renewed stress on racial pride.

When Ms. Sims arrived in New York on a scholarship to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology in 1966, there was very little interest in fashion for black models and only a handful who had been successful, like Dorothea Towles Church, who starred in the couture shows in 1950s Paris, and Donyale Luna, who was named Vogue’s model of the year in 1966.

Get tips from Beverly Johnson here

In need of money, Ms. Sims, with her heart-shaped face and long limbs, was encouraged by classmates and counselors to give it a try. But every agency she approached turned her down, some telling her that her skin was too dark.

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Undeterred, Ms. Sims decided to approach photographers herself. Gosta Peterson, a photographer for The Times, agreed to photograph her for the cover of its August 1967 fashion supplement, then called Fashions of The Times.

The agencies were still not interested, so Ms. Sims, showing a dash of enterprise that would later define her career, told Wilhelmina Cooper, a former model who was starting her own agency, that she would send out copies of the magazine to advertising agencies with Ms. Cooper’s number attached. Ms. Cooper could have a commission if anyone called back.

Chanel Iman is a Victoria’s Secret model now!

Within a year, Ms. Sims was earning $1,000 a week and had been hired for a national television campaign for AT&T, which showed her and two other models — one white and one Asian — wearing fashions by Bill Blass.

“It helped me more than anything else because it showed my face,” Ms. Sims told Ladies’ Home Journal the following year, when she appeared on its cover, the first time a black model was featured so prominently in a mainstream women’s publication. “After it was aired, people wanted to find out about me and use me.”

Click here for more on Naomi Sims life.

UPDATE: Brandy just settled her wrongful death lawsuit 11 days ago and according to TMZ, she has now settled the lawsuit with the accident’s survivor.

“Brandy has just settled a lawsuit filed by a survivor of her fatal 2006 car crash.

Mallory Ham, who suffered facial injuries during the crash, including a severely broken nose, just settled with the singer for an undisclosed amount.”

This is not good news for someone who just got dropped from their label!

Maybe she will become a rapper after all!

ORIGINAL: Singer-actress Brandy, who has spent the last few years dealing with a wrongful death nightmare, has agreed to settle with the children of the woman killed in the auto accident in which the star was driving.

According to settlement documents obtained by E! News, the kids-Mrwan and Kareem Mohamed-will each receive $300,000.

The boys, who were then 15 and 11, were in the family’s Toyota Corolla when it was struck by Brandy’s Land Rover, killing their mother, Awatef Aboudihaj.

Brandy performs in London

Brandy officially turned 30 and celebrated her b-day at Nobu. Check out the pics below for some paparazzi-on paparazzi action!

Many are disappointed with the Michael Jackson tribute at the 2009 BET Awards. All I have to say is that the tribute show should have included the people that MJ influenced and the people that influenced him. Check out his 30th Anniversary Show from 2001 and see how amazing this show was. NOTE: This is also Michael’s last televised performance ever!

Whitney Houston, Mya and Usher came out for the opening performance:

Check out MJ and his brothers reunited on stage.

Check out more of the Jackson 5 reunited with special guests *Nsync!!

This time Slash joins him onstage for a performance of “Black Or White”:

Beat it!

A dramatic performance of Billie Jean

Check out Monica performing “Home” from The Wiz. Skip pass “Get Your Freak On” to 4:30 to see the performance

Check out a full out performance from The Wiz! Even better, stay tuned for Liza Minelli’s questionable performance of “You Are Not Alone!”

Part 8: If you don’t want to listen to Lil’ Romeo then skip forward to Dionne Warwick at 5:10.

Part 9: Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” is almost haunting now that Mike’s passed away.

Part 10: A boy band tribute to the King of Pop + the now late Luther Vandross.

Top 5 Strangest Performances At The BET Awards

GALLERY: Last Pictures Of Michael Jackson

GALLERY: 2009 BET Awards!!

UPDATE: Michael Jackson’s doctor Dr. Conrad Robert Murray was interviewed Thursday by the LAPD detectives investigating the singer’s death.  According to radaronline.com,  Officer Karen Rayner, who is a spokesperson for the LAPD, told RadarOnline.com exclusively the following:

“Our detectives had a brief conversation with Dr. Murray, where or the contents of that conversation took place, I can’t tell you.”

RadarOnline.com has also learned exclusively that police want to speak to Dr. Murray again. Officer Rayner told us about Murray: “Reports he was missing are erroneous. Detectives will be talking with him again at some point. I don’t know when that will be.

Dr. Murray’s vehicle was towed from Michael Jackson’s home last night as part of the investigation.”

The vehicle Dr. Murray was using is registered to his sister, Susan Rush.

Michael Jackson’s Most Controversial Moments

Harlem celebrates the King of Pop

UPDATE: Michael Jackson’s personal doctor who went missing has been identified as Houston doctor Conrad Robert Murray M.D., a cardiologist licensed to practice medicine in Texas.

He was also with Jackson when he suffered cardiac arrest on Thursday afternoon.

Reports are being released that Dr. Murray is now in Los Angeles and getting ready to speak with the police.

Tell us your most beautiful memory of Michael Jackson

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that the police is looking for a doctor who lived at Michael Jackson’s home — and the doctor is nowhere to be found.

Here’s what TMZ is reporting:

Law enforcement sources tells us, a BMW belonging to the doctor was towed from Jackson’s home last night.

Cops are looking to interview the doc.

A law enforcement source says the doctor gave Jackson an injection before he died.

Jackson reportedly may have OD’d on Demerol. As we first reported, family members were concerned that Jackson was taking too much morphine.

Click here for more of this story.

Michael Jackson’s lawyer Brian Oxman is blaming the sudden death of the pop star on prescription drugs. According to the NY Daily News, Oxman confirmed Jackson may have had trouble with prescription drugs as he prepared for his London show.

“This was something which I feared and something which I warned about,” Oxman said on CNN. “I can tell you for sure that this is something I warned about. Where there is smoke there is fire.”

Sources close to Michael told Life & Style magazine the singer had been taking prescription painkillers including anti-anxiety drugs Xanax, Zoloft and painkiller Demerol in recent months. The insider close to the star said he took a suspected overdose of drugs on Thursday morning, which caused respiratory and cardiac arrest.

Watch the video below:

We will keep you updated on this developing story.

Click here to see our tribute gallery to the King of Pop.

The world is a little lonelier since the untimely death of pop star Michael Jackson yesterday.

According to reports he suffered from a cardiac arrest, meaning that his heart stopped pumping blood and he was unable to be resuscitated. Michael Jackson who was in the midst of trying to make a career comeback this summer had sold out 50 concerts in London, and was obviously under enormous stress which was evident as he cancelled 4 of the first London concerts in May.

Allegations are surfacing as to whether Michael was addicted to drugs, that an overdose of the pain killer Demerol was responsible for his death, or that he suffered innumerable health issues and his bad health was the ultimate cause of death.

An autopsy is planned for today, but what do his planets reveal about his health? Michael Jackson a Virgo, born 8/29/1958, was indeed a perfectionist! Taking a look at his career suggests that he lived up to the tendencies of his Sun sign Virgo in the way he was worked hard to get things right. People who have been associated with him report on how hard he has dedicated to his singing and dancing skills until they were flawless.

Other artists state that he worked around the clock and didn’t matter how many days or hours it took, he would be persistent enough to perfect whatever it is he was working on! His chart indicates that he had numerous stress aspects to his health along with his Sun, (an indicator of strength and vitality) being compromised by the planet Pluto, (the planet of extremes.) This suggests that he had the tendency to push himself too hard, and as a result create even further irritate his health issues. In other words, Michael Jackson had the ability to work himself to death!

On the weeks leading up this his passing there were signs of poor vitality everywhere, Michael looked weak during his press conferences! And on the day of his death, a few planets hit some touchy points in his chart ruled by Leo, interestingly the sign of Leo rules the heart. It is apparent that Michael Jackson had just pushed himself too hard in order to perfect his comeback this summer. His reported back problems apparently gave him tremendous pain, he was tired and if a pain killer was used, it had proven to be too much for his heart.

Michael Jackson, thank you for giving us so much! You will never be forgotten!

“I can’t stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless.”

- Madonna

Click here to see our tribute gallery to the King of Pop

Michael Jackson’s Most Controversial Moments

For more coverage on the death of Michael Jackson, click here

The boxer and Lakiha have known each other for 10 years. We thought he married his daughter Exodus’ mother, but that is incorrect, Sol Xochitl is Exodus’ mother whom Tyson dated before Lakiha.

perezhilton.com says the couple took out a marriage license on Saturday and married the same night at the La Bella Wedding Chapel at the Las Vegas Hilton.  There were no guests in attendance.

This will be Mike’s third marriage.  The boxer was married to actress Robin Givens for one year.

Check out the boxer over the years below:

Robin Givens: My story is Rihanna’s story

We wish them well.

[From Daily Mail]

Anger really can kill, doctors have warned.

Feelings of rage can trigger potentially deadly irregular heart rhythms, research shows.

The finding, from a study of patients with cardiac problems, could explain other studies which have linked the anger sparked by world events – from the loss of a World Cup match to a war – with heart attacks.

‘When you put a whole population under a stress factor, sudden death will increase,’ said researcher Dr Rachel Lampert.

‘Our study starts to look at how does this really affect the electrical system of the heart.’

Dr Lampert, of Yale University in the U.S., studied 62 adults being treated for an irregular heartbeat – a common condition which raises the risk of heart attack.

She said: ‘We found in the lab setting that yes, anger did increase this electrical instability in these patients.’

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You can also avoid being angry by avoiding these!

So the NY Times recently named pumpkin seeds as one of the 11 healthiest foods people aren’t eating; the most nutritious part of the pumpkin, packed with magnesium. High levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death, unless, of course, you’re choking on one, which I am, but as you learned last time, the thought of the swingers next door saving me, or worse, not, and then coming to my funeral, sans robes but still no underwear, is too much to bear.

Let it be known I’m being cremated, so there’ll be no wailing over my casket, but everyone is expected to arrive in head-to-toe black. Gucci stilettos, Prada neck ties, eyelashes out to here, dresses cut down to there, nighttime black. Check your mink at the door.

Depending on who’s in charge of the guest list, I’m envisioning two hundred people. Three if word gets out Kaluha cake will be served at the repast.

Though I work in Hollywood, I’m not of Hollywood, so the celebrity sightings will be kept to a minimum (sorry Mom, Denzel will not be making an appearance).

Since name-dropping is tacky, let’s just say a few A-list (black A-list, that is) writers and directors will swing by. No actors though, and since the only A-list black actresses in Hollywood these days are Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy (“Madea,” “Big Momma,” “Norbit”), don’t go looking for any of their names in the guest book either, as my funeral will be held in a black church and as you know, they frown upon the whole drag queen scene.

I’m donating my body to science (since I don’t have kids, I figured this was my best chance at posterity) once they’ve had their way with me, my ashes should be spread at the oldest McDonald’s on El Toro Road. As a kid, it was my idea of heaven. Going there meant it was Friday, or I got an A, or mom was forecasting a raise (it’s an ancient black woman’s secret that the best way to make something happen is to act like it already has). And so this is where I want my ashes to rest. Someplace happy. Someplace with a lot of foot traffic. And french fries.

Now comes the part when folks “randomly” get up to say something about the deceased and everyone pretends it’s a spontaneous moment. It seems even in death we’re afraid to claim what’s ours, the very least of which should be ten minutes of accolades. Since this is my story, my funeral, twenty, twenty-five minutes.

One after the other, folks will share witty little ditties about me. Perhaps the one where in my mink vest and high-heeled suede boots, I choked a white lady over a caramel apple at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. She used the N word; she had it coming.

Or maybe… how I was the key witness in a bank robbery at the B of A on La Brea. Turns out, I may have told the robber which teller to go to. I have a nasty habit of saying things out loud that should be kept private. I think I mumbled something like “The teller on the left is so slow! It must be her first day.” And that was before I complimented his belt. He caught me staring at the big, gaudy thing and I didn’t want him to think I was checking out his “package,” so I said “nice belt.” Had I not been so hypnotized by the silver and gold cowboy buckle, I might’ve noticed the gun tucked in his waistband before he pulled it out and pointed it right at the teller-on-the-left’s face.

God, I hope a lover or two stands up and says something sweet about me. It’s important to have someone who knew you in that way to speak kindly about you at a time like this. You never know, though. Exes at a funeral can be tricky. They tend to play nice when there’s even a slim chance you two might have sex again, but since that is clearly off the table, all bets are off on what the MF might say. I’d like to think it’d be all candy and roses, but hey, they are my exes for a reason, after all.

And so, once again, I’m reminded of another reason why I need to get myself a permanent man; to save me from yet another indignity. My exes would have no cause to speak at my funeral because that would be like pissing in someone else’s pool. It’s just not done in polite circles.

Now, don’t think because I’ve planned out my funeral down to the tiniest detail that means….

TO FINISH THE THOUGHT, VISIT URBAN THOUGHT COLLECTIVE

Tamara T. Gregory is a writer/producer/traveler. Happily single (yes, there really is such a thing), she is an expert on the dating game. Her debut novel, Passport Diaries, is an LA Times bestseller and is soon to become a Hollywood motion picture. The book is available at www.passportdiaries.com. Gregory’s X…WHY blog is exclusive to Urban Thought Collective.

As if we needed another reason to work on getting flat abs.

Many people associate being hugely overweight with early death. However, new research shows that even being at a seemingly normal weight can reduce your life span.

Tobias Pischon, MD, says,

“I was surprised that even people who would be considered normal weight in terms of their [body mass index] have a higher risk of death if their waist circumference is increased.”

This is in reference to a 10-year European study which found that individuals with a higher Body Mass Index had a greater risk of death than those of average weight. However, scientists found that this issue also applies to those with a greater waist circumference as well as those who are overall heavier individuals.

As women, we know that getting rid of that spare tire is the hardest part of working out. So what gives?! Are we all supposed to just starve ourselves in order to live longer? Not so, say researchers. Read the full article on CNN.com.

Her name was Caffrin. Not Catherine or Cathy…but “Caa-FFrin” as I was reminded on many occasions. She was my son’s fish, his first pet. A red Beta. We picked her out earlier this year at Petland Discounts and placed her in a plastic bowl with blue gravel and a fake castle. Justin was charged with feeding her every day and he did so—most of the time—but we did when he didn’t. By the way, Caffrin was a boy, but, as far as Justin was concerned, she was a girl. Seeing that I couldn’t prove him wrong, I let it go.

When I got home last night Justin approached me with a somber look on his face, “Daddy, I have to tell you something.” I was expecting it to be a recount of something bad he’d done that day at school but my wife came up behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders and gave me “the look” that said “be sympathetic, not angry.” So I listened…

“Daddy, Caffrin died. We had to flush her down the toilet and pray for her.”

I was taken aback at both the news and his composure. He was sad, but very practical. “She was sick,” is what he reasoned. He asked his mother when it happened if he was a “fish killer,” and she assured him that he wasn¹t.  She said that fish don¹t live as long as people and that everyone dies. He seemed ok. I felt guilty because I wasn¹t there when it happened.

This week I¹ve been consoling a dear friend through a loss and my thoughts have been consumed with my own mortality and that of my family¹s, so the timing of this occurrence is more than coincidental in my mind. I rubbed Justin on the head, preparing to give him an uplifting speech, but I think my wife had already done much of the damage control. He rattled off to me about how they prayed and that Caffrin was in Heaven now. The debate still rages amongst my Catholic peers if animals have souls, so I¹ll let his ignorance be bliss for the moment. He quickly turned his attention to the jerk chicken I¹d brought home for dinner.

But, just like a grown-up, it hit him more the next day. This morning when we went to wake him for school he was already up, standing up at his dresser, staring at the empty space where Caffrin¹s fish bowl used to be. “I miss Caffrin,” he said, hanging his head. My wife gave him a hug and assured him that it was ok to miss Caffrin. We asked him if he wanted another fish and he said yes. Then proceeded to bargain for more fish: “Since I’m five, I should have five fish.”

Kids. Gotta love ‘em.

“‘Mama,’ I ask her again, “why you cryin’?’
‘It’s nothin’ Bean. Sometimes I think sad thoughts.’
‘What thoughts?’
She didn’t answer. She was lookin’ at the TV. Black guy’s talkin’ to Ed Sullivan… Suddenly my mama’s laughin’ to bust a gut… I turn to look at her-this is the same woman that was cryin’ a second ago?- then turns back to the TV. ‘Who that man, Mama?’
She’s still laughin’. Takes her awhile to catch her breath. “Bill Cosby, son. He’s a comedian.” I look over at this Bill Cosby again. I don’t know what he’s talkin about… but I know whatever it is, it’s got power. ‘That’s what I want to be, Mama. A comedian. Make you laugh like that, maybe you never cry again.’

Now I had some direction. I was going to be a comedian.”

~An excerpt from May You Never Cry Again, by Bernie Mac

We all know what happened next…Or do we?

Unless we be continuously reminded of how Bernie Mac‘s legacy began, we risk losing sight of the profundity of his entire being, which, of course, necessarily includes his life off-stage.

As humans, it requires an insurmountable amount of strength to smile when we are in pain, whether physical, mental, or spiritual. Yet, it requires an inhumane amount of strength to entertain a crowd, procure ratings, and maintain a fan-base through that same pain. That makes Mac superhuman.

Every time I watch Mac perform, I give him a portion of my own personal burdens in exchange for his humor, and, because I suspect that there are countless others that graciously allow Mac to take their pain away, I now, more than ever, wonder whether or not he ever felt weary under the weight of our dependence on him.

But, then again, he was a King…

Death has never been easy for me to deal with. And, despite my belief that life should be celebrated daily, with age, I have found that death begs us to be reminded of the blessings each day brings, regardless of the weather. So, it should be unsurprising that I have absolutely nothing to say about the sudden death of Isaac Hayes, the man who, in 1969, completely changed the way we listen to and perceive soul music. The man who, with one gritty theme-song, signaled the end of the 60′s and the dawn of the 70′s. The man who received multiple Grammys, two Oscars, and a record-setting seven #1 albums in the R&B Billboard charts… Instead, I have everything to say about his life…

He was a timeless master of adaptability, and truly dedicated to his craft. He had a passion for it. Upon his induction into the 2002 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he told a CNN representative that he credited his success to “adjusting and constantly evolving, expanding and trying to stay as young as [he could].”

South Park‘s Chef is the Isaac that has had the greatest impact on my life, and I have reflected on that side of him more than any other since his death, not only because I find laugher to be the best medicine (especially while I also wrap my head around the untimeliness of Bernie Mac’s passing), but also because his willingness to take part in the creation of South Park’s legacy was indicative the humility and open-mindedness that were two genuine aspects of his character.

Whether you identify most with Black Moses, Ike the Ripper, Hot Buttered Soul, Shaft‘s theme song, South Park’s Chef, or the Isaac Hayes Foundation, there’s an Isaac for our every mood.

Where in Isaac do you find your release?