Cincinnati Bengals star wide receiver Chad Ocho Cinco (formerly Chad Johnson) is using his off-season to pursue happiness off the field in his new VH1 reality show “The Tournament” (working title).  The series will follow the drama of the dating pool played out in a bracket-style tournament.  

“The Tournament” will start with Ocho Cinco finding his “first 85″ by traveling all over the country meeting women that may be interested in dating him.  Then, during the first episode, he will narrow the playing field down to the sweet sixteen – four women from each of the four regions of the country – Northern, Western, Southern and Central Divisions. The sixteen chosen women will be invited to join Ocho Cinco for the rest of the tournament-style dating competition.

Once the competition begins, Ocho Cinco will follow a tournament bracket where each of the ladies will have an opportunity to spend quality time with him while also facing off against one another in double-dates.  The winner of each dating face-off will receive a game ball from Ocho Cinco and move on to the next round of the tournament, while the loser goes home.  Ultimately the sweet sixteen will be narrowed down to eight and then the final four.  In the end, the championship date between the two remaining women will result in Ocho Cinco awarding his chosen love the coveted Championship Ring.

The 10 episode, one-hour series is set to premiere in July 2010.

You can even apply here!

Does Hoopz Have A Thing For NFL’s Ocho Cinco?

VIDEO: Why Is Ocho Cinco Running Through The Woods Naked??

Sure your kids may prefer to think of you as their asexual single mom whose sole purpose is to do their laundry, make them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and remind them to brush their teeth. And, although that is hardly the case, you’re slightly to blame for giving them that impression. However when they’re with their dad on the weekends you’ve been secretly sneaking around with a pretty terrific guy who, in the privacy of your mind, you even refer to as your boyfriend. Here are some tips :

Don’t expect your date to be a father figure

“I’m not looking for a new “daddy” or another “parent” just someone who can be a good friend to my boys,” said Ms. Pace who is currently dating a guy she feels has been a great example to her boys and has been able to integrate himself into the family. “I also prefer to date other single parents. Relationships are hard enough to sustain as it is, so it’s important that you’re on the same page, and another single parent usually gets where you’re coming from.”

Be honest with your kids

Dating as a single mom can be especially tough on those whose kids aren’t used to spending time away from their moms but ultimately being honest with your kids about your needs can help in your relationship with them and in your dating life.

3 tips to help your kids with reading

Your happiness makes your kids happy

According to Isadora Alman, author of Doing it: Real People Having Really Good Sex and syndicated sex and relationship columnist at www.askisadora.com, unfortunately when single moms can’t deal with issues such as introductions and sleepovers they might feel it’s easiest to forget their whole dating life until the children are older or out of the house.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE TIPS

3-stress-less tips for working moms

(From shine.com)

When you first fall in love the passion abounds. You make love all the time and cannot get enough of one another. After awhile, however, what was fireworks becomes little more than faint sparklers when you are in the bedroom. Relationships can grow stale as routine takes the place of spontaneity and newness turns to sameness. Luckily, there are exciting ways to put the passion back into your relationship.

Step 1

Make time for your love life. Turn off the television and stay offline a couple of times a week to help improve things in the bedroom. Also, don’t just make love at night, enjoy a morning romp on the weekends as well.

Step 2

Change the way you look at your partner if you have children. It is too easy to look at your husband or wife as “mom” and “dad” instead of seeing them as your lover.

8 ways to have date night on a dime

Step 3

Dress up and look your best to help incite passion. Too many people neglect their looks once they are in established relationships for some time. Take good care of your skin, teeth and body to keep your partner attracted.

Step 4

Communicate your sexual needs to your lover. Let your partner know what you desire in bed and be ready to listen to his ideas as well. Act out your fantasies for extra spice in the bedroom.

READ MORE HERE

Top 7 biggest dating myths.

[From Momlogic]

So you’re freshly (or not so freshly) divorced and entertaining the thought of dating again. Scary? Sure. But with a little time, patience (and lip gloss) you can turn a dark time into a golden opportunity for new love.

Vikki Ziegler, New-Jersey based divorce attorney and creator of Divorce Dating, a website where singles who are either divorced or going through a divorce can meet and mingle, offered us her best tips for getting back out there.

“I got the idea for this website in 2002 when I was going through my own divorce,” says Ziegler. “I felt lost and alone and wished there was a community for people going through the same thing as me.”

“I always tell my clients that things get worse before they get better, but when you’re ready, your next relationship will better than your last,” she says.

So heed these tips to find new love:

Listen To Your Inner Voice: These days everyone from your mother to your pals has an opinion on your love life. And while it’s great to lean on family and friends for insight and advice, the first rule of post-divorce dating is to heed your gut instincts. “Everyone has a different time frame for re-entering the dating pool,” says Ziegler. “Your friends may want you to start dating but if you’ve gone through infidelity and have trust issues, it may not be the best time to talk to -and be intimate – with a brand new person.” That said, it’s easy to fall into a stay-at-home rut when you’re feeling blue. So if you feel even an inkling to hit the town one night, call the sitter and dust off your high heels. “You may feel crappy when you leave the house, but you could end up having the time of your life,” says Ziegler. “And if you find yourself moping at a bar, you can always just go home.”

Rebound – Slowly: Sure, it may be tempting to jump in the sack with the first eligible guy you click with, but doing so too fast may backfire. “If you’re the type who can handle a no-strings-attached tryst, then go for it,” says Ziegler. “But all too often newly divorced women blur the lines of a casual fling with the real thing when they’re not prepared for it.” In other words, taking the time to evaluate what went wrong in the marriage will benefit your next relationship. Sure it may feel like wallowing when you’re rehashing old disagreements in your mind, but doing a little self-reflection, and ID’ing the mistakes you made will only make you stronger and wiser for the next guy.

Zip Your Lips: As a general rule, don’t talk about your ex on a date. Does the guy buying you dinner need to know your spouse never flushed the toilet or made that irritating sound while he breathed in his sleep? Probably not. “Not only will discussing your marriage on a date make you seem as though you haven’t moved past it (and by default, aren’t ready to date) but trashing your relationship will also make you seem bitter, even if you’re not,” says Ziegler. However, there is one exception: “Once you’re comfortable working on an issue you struggled with in your marriage, you can broach it in a productive way.” So if you have a hard time apologizing when you’re wrong, try something like, ‘Hey, I’m really bad at saying I’m sorry and am trying to work on it. Can you point it out if I don’t do this?’ Your date will feel good knowing you’re trying to move past your divorce — and into a possible future with him!

What are three more tips for having a smooth and successful post-divorce dating life? Click here to find out.

You think post-divorce dating is hard? Imagine doing it as a celebrity!

Who knows – maybe dating can help you find your REAL true love!

Recent research has been proving some conventional courting wisdom to be totally bogus. When it comes to getting guys, we break down what works and what’s old school.

MYTH: When you’re prepping to go out on the prowl, put on a barely-there outfit — men like women who show lots of skin.
TRUTH: A new study published in the journal Behaviour found that, to reel in the boys, the ideal amount of flesh you should reveal is 40 percent. A crop top and mini crosses the line from seductive to skanky.

MYTH: If you’re into a guy, make the first move on him.
TRUTH: Smile at him, but then wait for him to come to you. A Northwestern University study discovered that the person who does the approaching usually ends up falling harder.

7 Mistakes That Prolong Your Break-Up Misery

MYTH: Eat a low-calorie meal like veggies and salad when out with a guy in order to show that you’re attractive and take good care of yourself.
TRUTH: Despite a recent study from McMaster University in Canada that found women tend to do just that, most guys actually go for chicks who will eat a real meal in front of them, says Scott Kudia, author of If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy? Not that you should stuff your face, but men want to be with someone who will be herself around him. Nibbling at rabbit food reads as phony and guarded.

MYTH: While chatting him up on a date, focus on your shared interests.

TRUTH: Discussing stuff you have in common will make you feel connected. However, it’s also key to talk about interesting personal experiences and hobbies that are different from his. According to experts, being exposed to new and exciting things increases the chemical dopamine in our bodies, and that in turn builds interest and passion. READ THE REST HERE!

VIDEO: Get Your Man To Wear A Condom

Hot New Video with Abiola & The Condom Kings! Talking about wearing condoms with your lover.

Today’s Kiss and Tell Report.

Recently I dropped by The Museum of Sex in New York City to check out the Rubbers Condom Exhibit. It seemed like the perfect place to address the My Boyfriend or Husband Doesn’t Like To Wear Condoms issue. Check out the Abiola’s Kiss & Tell TV video episode below!

What do you think?

Spring is around the corner and for ‘all my single ladies’– loneliness may emerge, especially when we hear of  the statistic that 42% of black women have never been married. What’s a single, black female to do? Well, if we assume that it’s true and think of  it through ’the glass is half full’ mantra. It also says that the majority, 58% of black women have been married.

Studies like this do nothing but make women fearful of being alone, and  give men too much power. Men do not have vaginas, so they do not deserve that much power. The well-educated, black man already feels like a hot commodity. He will date then bed as many of us as his heart desires. We need to flip the script. We are single today and now we can guide each other down the dating path that will end not just in marriage, but in a good one.

Why Are 42% Of Black Women Still Single?

In an effort to make the heartache a thing of the past,  I came up with this self-preservation formula. Myself and all of my many girlfriends who have been dating for years have done most of the leg work and complied a new way of thinking when trying to find the man of your dreams. It’s called the RTST formula because relationships always, always, always stem from Real Time Spent Together (RTST).

What Is Real Time: Real Time Spent Together is face-to-face interaction, while talking about goals, dreams or just your day.

What Isn’t Real Time: Spending time together when both of you are not talking, or you’re doing all the talking, or when he’s preoccupied, or when you’re both preoccupied (movies and TV watching are a good example of being preoccupied, and remember kissing and sex are too).

The RTST formula: It is like the Pythagorean theorem of dating! The RTST formula can not fail, if you pay attention. In my assessment, 50 hours of RTST is the minimum amount of time that needs to pass before a woman should get emotionally invested and physically involved with a man.

Some Exceptions to Calculating RTST:

1) Every hour of phone convo is worth only 15 minutes of RTST: Face time is of a premium because that can lead to true intimacy, therefore it is more valuable because on the phone you only share thoughts. It will take a  four-hour-long conversations to equal one hour of RTST.

2) Rich man: Double the time: If a wealthy man takes you away for the weekend, you must insist on your own room. He might also want you there while he works, so you will have to deduct all that work time from RTST. Wealthy men are more in demand, so you have to set yourself apart from all of the other girls.

3) Broke man: Double the time: The broke ones have nothing but time, so you must also increase the RTST.

Here’s How To Calculate RTST: If the first date lasted about four hours, and then the both of you talked on the phone for about eight hours, keep the non face-to-face time to only a week, then you have 6 hours of RTST.

(4 hours date + 2 hours phone (8 hours/4)= 6 hours RTST)

Once you get to that 50 hour minimum, you can evaluate your relationship. Is he is still interested? Still attentive? Still respectful? If the answer to these questions is yes, then the RTST formula allows you to take the relationship to the physical level.

RELATED: Why Did He Date You For Years Then Marry The Next Chick?

You may think that RTST sounds absurd, but this is about your heart! As always, know thyself! If you can have sex, like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, with no strings attached then more power to you! But if you get all soft and fuzzy on the inside after the first date with visions of the perfect wedding day dancing in your head like Charlotte York Goldenblatt, then you need to know who you are before you start down the sex road. And all it takes is one time of wanting a real relationship when all he wants is a quickie in the backseat, for you to finally get it: men want sex always, relationships not as often. That is a fact. So now we will date, date, and then date some more. But sex? That’s reserved for serious relationships only.

You must also remember to get a life, because it’s always better to be too busy to see him, at least twice in that initial RTST period. Men are hunters, as my married auntie says. If you do not have anything to do, no matter how cute you are, then you will stay single. They need a chase!  So get a life, quick!

Check out these married celeb couples:

In this month’s issue of Cosmopolitan magazine there was a story about inter-racial dating which features three couples who gave their take on dating outside of ones race.

It was very interesting that in 2010 we are still exploring this issue, but this is America which was founded on slavery. Therefore racism is still a disease, which we can all hope that one day will disappear. But today it is still an issue…just last week John Mayer was labeled a racist because of a quote that he gave to Playboy magazine when he called his “Penis A White Supremacist” and he also used the “N” word.

All of the recent controversy with Tiger Woods and his affairs with multiple white women which made some black women feel shunned by the golfer. I say, who cares if they do not like black women there are tones of man and yes-even white men, who do not have a penis that discriminates. Keeping in mind that every person is different and dating is not a one size fits type of thing, however here are a couple of tips when dating a white man.

Celebs Speak Out On Interracial Dating; Would You?

1) A bad hair day means nothing to him:People from the same background can be harder on each other, because they feel a sense on camaraderie. Men from another racial background, especially white men, seem to be more accepting of a bad hair day.  However, on the other hand, black men will be more forgiving if you happen to gain a little weight. The money that you save on the weekly trips to the salon will just have to be re-purposed for a trainer because slim and trim is the desired look.

2) Be prepared for the dirty looks:The same way some black girls see a black man with a white girl and give the couple a dirty look, white woman feel the same way when they see a white man with a woman of another race. I was shocked, when a white friend of mine told me that all of the good white guys were being taken by the Asian girls. If you’re going to be in an inter-racial relationship– do not take the reactions of strangers personal. A thick skin is mandatory–this is your man and you need to hold your head up high and ignore all negativity.

3) Just in case you were thinking it: Penis size is not an issue: I know that there is the myth of the big, black  penis but that is an urban legend. A small penis can exist with a black man or a white one. The problem could be that your new white boyfriend might believe that rumor and feel a bit insecure–which can really work in your favor when it comes to foreplay, if you know what I mean! Just use reassuring lines like “Give me that big…” (you fill in the rest)while making love, to restore his wondering mind and sooth his ego.

John Mayer: “My Penis Is Racist”

Check out these hot pics of inter-racial couples:

What? You don’t have any gay besties? Well you can borrow one. Allow him to reintroduce himself — Terrance Dean, author of Hiding in Hip Hop. Your gay best friend is in – to give you the advice you need on Hello Beautiful weekly. But before you meet him, watch this scandalous Abiola and Terrance convo about down low gay sex in hip hop.

Thanks for hanging! See you at AbiolaTV.com or on Twitter @AbiolaTV, Youtube.com/planetabiola or my new facebook.com/xoAbiola. And of course buy my novel  Dare by Abiola Abrams wherever you buy books.