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“I Want To Follow My Dreams Of Becoming An Actress, But My Parents Think Otherwise”

Terrance Dean — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:30:07 +0000

You’ve got questions? He’s got answers!

Email your questions to Your Gay Best Friend at: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

My name is Aliccia, and I want to follow my dreams of becoming an actress, but my parents think otherwise. I have had this passion ever since I was a kid, and this is really something I want to do. How do I choose between following my dreams and not disappointing my parents? I would really appreciate it! Thanks. – A Dreamer

Dear Ms. A Dreamer,

Girl, in the words of Tamar Braxton – “Get your life!” Honey, you better go and pursue your dreams and live your life. IT’S YOUR LIFE! NO ONE CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE BUT YOU! And, no one can make decisions for how you should live your life but you.

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No one can tell you or advise you about following your dreams because they don’t understand your dream, and it’s not their dream!!! It was giving to you for a reason. It was placed in your heart because God knew you could do it. So, how dare someone tell you what you can and cannot do? Follow your dreams. Do them big, and enjoy the journey.

Honey, let me tell you something, if I would have listened to all the folks who tried to tell me to get a “real” job, because working in the entertainment industry wasn’t a “real” job, then I wouldn’t be here today. All I ever wanted to do was work in the entertainment industry. And, I sacrificed everything to make my dream a reality. Despite listening to friends, and family members when I graduated from college I moved to Los Angeles, and New York to pursue my dreams. And, BA-BY, the gamble paid off. Yes, it was rough, and many times I questioned myself, but I did it. I have worked with Spike Lee, Rob Reiner, Keenan Ivory Wayans and the Wayans family, and a host of other celebrities, as well as for B.E.T. and MTV. And, then I had the nerve to write books, and tour across the country speaking at colleges and universities. I followed my dreams despite of what those folks told me. I followed my dreams and did what I wanted to do because I knew it was something God had given me, and how dare I not be courageous, and fearless when I have God on my side? As the scripture states, God didn’t give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. So, be fearless, bold, and courageous.

And, yes, I understand your parent’s position because they feel and think that pursuing a career as an actress is unstable, especially being in an industry where people try to take advantage of you, and I’m sure they’ve heard all the salacious and scandalous stories about those who struggle trying to pursue a career as an actor. But, honey, that’s any job. There are folks who will try to take advantage of you in any career – Lawyer, doctor, teacher, engineer, or whatever. People are people, and there are just as many scandalous and salacious people in those industries as well. Also, people struggle in those careers as well. They don’t become doctors overnight. They don’t become lawyers overnight, and certainly do not start making money until later in life.

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But, they are your parents and want the best for you. However, you have to let them know that you know what’s best for you. They lived their lives. They did what they wanted to do, and if they love you, and have raised you with morals and values, then they have nothing to fear or worry about.

I say talk with them and devise a plan. Come up with a 2, 3, and 5 year plan. Tell them to let you go and explore your passion, and see what it’s like. Hell, you may not even like it and change your mind. But, at least go and discover the world of acting before giving up on it. And, a 2, 3, or 5 year plan will give you the time to get your footing and establish yourself. Just like any career it takes time to develop who you are, and become a professional in the field. It’s not going to happen overnight. You’ve got to work at it, and keep working at it. Hell, it took me over 5 years just to get myself established in the entertainment business. But, that was my experience. Hell, I have friends and it has taken them longer, but they didn’t give up on their dreams. And, as an author/writer, it took me another 5 years to solidify myself as a bon-a-fide author and writer. But, I invested in it and went back to school. I studied the craft of writing. And, that is what you will have to do. Study your craft. Keep learning and growing so that you can become the best.

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So, let your parents know that you have a dream. Don’t be dream killers or dream stealers. Let you explore what’s burning inside you. Let you explore this passion that you can’t let die. One thing you don’t want to become is an older bitter person who is mad at the world because you didn’t pursue your dreams. There are so many people sitting at their desks right now who are mad and angry because they didn’t take the chance, or they gave up on their dreams because they allowed someone to talk them out of it. Can someone who is not an actor advise you on being an actor, or the craft of acting? Can someone who is not a teacher advise you on being a teacher, or how to be a teacher? No, they cannot. So, follow your dreams, and we look forward to seeing you on the big screen. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click, HERE!

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Get A Better Job Without Jumping Ship

HelloBeautifulStaff — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 17:00:29 +0000

Are you looking to get on the fast track to success? Tired of your day-to-day doldrums in your current job? Here’s how to put out your feelers, amp up your skills, and meet the right people so when the time comes to move on, you’re more than ready:

GET SPECIFIC

The most low-risk way to think about your next career step is something you can even do at your desk: make a list. What is it about your job that you like? What aspects give you a sense of accomplishment? Which leave you feeling depleted? Are the hours great but the work soulless? Do you feel like you’re helping people but the pay barely covers your expenses? Like your co-workers but find you have to work individually more than you’d like? Get specific about where there’s room for improvement, so that when you see the qualities you’re looking for in the next position you’ll recognize them.

BUILD YOUR SKILL SET

Often employers will pay for or subsidize classes that will allow their employees to bring top-notch design, copy-editing or computer skills to the office. Think about certifications that might make you a more attractive candidate or certain skills you need to brush up on or areas where you could use some improvement (spreadsheets, anyone?). You’ll meet people in related fields, gain some extra confidence, and have a concrete skill set to add to your resume.

Looking for work? Check out Monster’s diversity job listings on BlackPlanet.com here!

Read the rest of the story here on Shine.com.

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Things You Should Know By The Time You're 25

HelloBeautifulStaff — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:00:23 +0000

Reaching the age of twenty-five is definitely a milestone. By this time, most people are well into their careers, know what they want out of relationships and friendships and have been around the block a couple times to know what they want out of life. I came across an interesting article by RelevantMagzine.com that lists some of the things that people SHOULD know by the time they hit their mid and late twenties.

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Although this list is mostly opinionated, I have to say that I definitely agree with most of the things here. Every person is obviously different, so this list will vary depending on your personal beliefs about relationships, religion and your career. Either way, here are some general things that people in their mid-twenties should have already figured out throughout their lifetime..

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“When you’re 25-ish, you’re old enough to know what kind of music you love, regardless of what your last boyfriend or roommate always used to play. You know how to walk in heels, how to tie a necktie, how to give a good toast at a wedding and how to make something for dinner.”

When it comes to JOBS…By the time you hit 25, it’s time to figure out what kind of work you love and want to do and what you’re good at. You’ve figured out your dreams and have decided to either go back to school and completely change career directions or stay in your current job. You might try living in another state or country or even volunteer doing something that you love- even if it means less income.

When it comes to RELATIONSHIPS…. This is the time when relationships get serious which could mean walking away from the ones that don’t make you happy and aren’t a great fit for you and looking for the ones that you “can’t-live-without”. The worst mistake a person could make at this age is staying with someone who is wrong person when you KNOW they’re the wrong person. It’s just not fair to all parties involved.

When is comes to COUNSELING…Mid-twenties is a great time to do some soul-searching and maybe a little counseling. It might be good to talk to your parents and really get into your childhood to see what keeps you from living a healthy life, or keeps you having a great one. At 25 you understand a lot more about life so it would be easier for you to change things that have hurt you in the past, and help you to officially move on from them.

When it comes to RELIGION… This stage of your life is a great time to really get involved and strengthen your faith (if you haven’t already) with whatever religion you practice. Be a person who grows, who is patient and one who lives with a purpose and intention.

By the age of twenty-five, it’s time to put the childish games to rest and really become an official adult. I’m curious to hear what you think one should know by this age? Do you agree? Disagree?

READ MORE HERE

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Do Mean Girls Make More Money?

HelloBeautifulStaff — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:00:50 +0000

Just when we were starting to accept that pretty people made all the money, we get hit with yet another study. First, we were told that attractive people are paid $230,000 more over a lifetime based solely upon appearance and not experience. If that wasn’t depressing enough, a more recently published study is saying that people who are ruder make more.

Does this sound crazy to you?

The study, titled “Do Nice Guys — and Gals — Really Finish Last ?” looked at data compiled from around 10,000 workers over nearly 20 years, drawing on three surveys that sampled a range of ages and professions. The study’s findings are pretty clear — Researchers examined “agreeableness” using self-reported survey data and found that ruder women earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts.

Does that mean we should all go to work and tell our bosses what we really think about our jobs? Eh, probably not. But, I think it’s important to at least know what the study meant by “agreeableness.” The authors are careful to explain what exactly constitutes “disagreeable.” Rather than a raving psychopath, a disagreeable person is “more likely than people high in trait agreeableness to behave disagreeably in certain situations by, for instance, aggressively advocating for their position during conflicts (van de Vliert & Euwema, 2004).”

With that being said, I can’t help but wonder if a woman being more aggressive and assertive is being taken for “rudeness.”

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No Job? Wrong Job? 3 Ways To Help Identify Your Dream Job And Avoid Career Burnout

HelloBeautifulStaff — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:30:39 +0000

It’s no secret times are hard and for most recent graduates getting a job is harder than expected. For many, getting a job you love feels damn near impossible. A recent Forbes article attributes a burn out trend among young women to a lack of initial self-reflection and notes that many of us didn’t “think of our lives beyond landing our initial job.” The article’s author, Larissa Faw, explains that even those of us who did consider our lives past our first career still have unrealistic expectations about full-time employment.

So what’s the impetus for our unrealistic expectations and subsequent career dissatisfaction? My work in talent recruitment has taught me that yes, sheer naiveté is one minor causes—but more heavily it is the lack of guided self-reflection that has many of us considering a misaligned career. In the same way that one shouldn’t force their size eight foot into a size six, many of us are trying to force our way into jobs outside of our true interests and skill set, creating overall work displeasure and thus, burn out.

In this tough economy, it’s hard to resist applying to any and every job, but landing an ill-fitting job has inevitable negative side effects. It is far more important for any career to narrow your job hunt based on some serious self-reflection.

Before you continue your job search think deeply about the following:

1. Reflect on your passions: For many this alone can seem like an overwhelming task. It doesn’t have to be. Think about it this way: When do you experience the most joy? As you reflect on your current or most recent job consider the parts of your day you enjoy the most and the least. What aspects of your work do you find motivating? What are the things you do outside of work that keep you balanced? Identifying these things will often lead us closer to understanding our passions and extrinsic and intrinsic motivations. Finding a job that aligns with these things is a win!

2. Take inventory of your skills: What ‘tangible’ skills have you acquired through your career? Are you a skilled communicator? Do you have management skills? Are you a strong project manager etc? An important distinction should be made between attributes and skills, as they’re quite different. Being an expert in PowerPoint is different than noting that you’re a patient person. As you seek your next job opportunity, make sure it aligns with the skills you enjoy using.

3. Where do you want to professionally develop? This question should not only incite reflection around self-identified weaknesses, but also other areas of development that may have been untapped given the nature of your previous work experience. Are you looking for an opportunity to manage adults, or for projects to push your skills in Excel? Look for opportunities that will strengthen your skill set and further you down the path to your long-term goals. Neglecting this focus could lead to job dissatisfaction.

Thinking through the above tips is only a start. As we consider our various career paths, we must look beyond the idea of a fulfilling job, and more towards an opportunity that allows us to walk within our purpose. The more aware we are of our gifts and passions, the closer we are to walking towards that which is innate to our success.

Jovian Zayne is a writer, photographer and occasional radio co-host in New York City. Read more from Jovian on her personal blog Word Up Haay!. Join her on twitter via @jovizi for laughs, encouragement and your daily dose of quick wit.

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Things You Should Know By The Time You're 25

HelloBeautifulStaff — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 18:30:23 +0000

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The 10 Office Romance Commandments

HelloBeautifulStaff — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:00:52 +0000

I was originally given the assignment to tackle whether or not an office romance was something a HelloBeautiful reader should pursue but I decided to put the decision in your hands with a handy list of commandments to adhere to. The reason? I remain on the fence about office romances. I’ve seen office romances flourish and fail. I’ve also never had the guts to miss an important deadline to pursue cutie in accounting because you know what? He simply does not exist. I have always worked in environments with a limited or non-existent selection of whipped milk chocolate cuties and maybe seeing as though I have a sweet tooth that has been to my benefit. For the more fortunate eye candy saturated 9-5 hustlers, the ball is in your court. Only you can decide whether or not love has a place in the office walls and here is my advice for those who are considering and are living in that moment:

How does she run in those heels?

Thou shalt not work in the same department: In a smaller office environment this may be impossible but the more space you have from your office romance during work hours the more productive you’ll be.
Thou shalt not date your boss: This is a tough one, as most office romances occur between individuals who are on different levels of the corporate hierarchy. By dating your boss there will be issues of favoritism which could affect the reputation of your boss’s leadership skills leading to pressures in the office and eventually outside.
Thou shalt not date a married co-worker: Word spreads quickly within office walls and you don’t know who is a friend with whom, so to avoid a Jerry Springer style showdown in your place of employment stick to the available co-workers, please.
Thou shalt not meet in the bathroom for a quickie during a meeting or display an unusual amount of PDA (unless you don’t mind the possibility of getting reprimanded): One of my ultimate sexual fantasies involves an office and a tie, so I could only imagine how a hot 9-5 romance could get a little carried away. Play it safe and opt for an off-site rendezvous on lunch if you must!
Thou shalt not get into details about your relationship once it is revealed you are together aka The ‘Bey & Jay’: Folks found it absolutely frustrating to interview Beyonce and Jay-z before and even after they got married because although you knew they were together they would reveal zilch about their relationship. Nothing wrong with teasing folks, your relationship is your business and no one else’s.
Thou shalt have a conversation about “boundaries in place whilst at work” with your partner: Talk it out. Do you want this to be a relationship or affair everyone knows about? Who do you want knowing? Will there be lunch dates? Etc.
Thou shalt keep it ‘strictly business’ between work hours: If there was an argument that started before you got in the office doors, guess what, it’s going to have to stay there. Your conversations amongst each other should be either work related or the usual everyday chitchat (weather, current events, what’s on TV tonight etc)
Thou shalt socialize with others at work in order to keep balance in the relationship and avoid smothering each other: 9-5er’s spent most of their waking hours at work. It’s healthy to have relationships with others outside of a romantic one.
Thou shalt keep paycheck particulars to thyself unless you are thinking of moving in together or are getting married: Until a serious relationship is formed where you have to disclose pay check particulars in order to maintain a household or some other investment together, make it a non-issue. Egos could get bruised and besides your compensation is supposed to be kept confidential.
Thou shalt be supportive of each other’s career growth in terms of promotions and outside opportunities: In the nature of the corporate world, new opportunities come up and they wait for no one. It’s important to be supportive of your partner if they decide to pursue an opportunity elsewhere.

What are your thoughts on office romance?

Have you ever thought of or used your place of employment as a place to find a mate?

Do you agree or disagree with any of the Ten Office Romance Commandments?

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About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email contact@goddessintellect.com.

Get A Better Job Without Jumping Ship

HelloBeautifulStaff — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:30:29 +0000

GET SPECIFIC

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Looking for work? Check out Monster’s diversity job listings on BlackPlanet.com here!

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“My Wife’s Job Fired Her & I Think It’s Because Of Her Health”

HelloBeautifulStaff — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 18:15:53 +0000

You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I read your blogs all the time, so I am hoping you can help me with this one. It has nothing to do with love, but more legal rights and I hope you or your readers can give me advice on this one.

A few months ago, my wife was let go from her job as a home nurse. When asked why, she was told that a patient’s family member had complained to her job about her. They said that she was rude to them when they called. But, what she heard through people she works with they say it was because her job didn’t want to pay her insurance.

My wife has lupus which requires her to see the doctor quite a bit. When she was let go, on like the 3rd of June, a few days later, she went to the doctor and when she went to pay they told her that she had been dropped from her insurance by the company on the 30th of May. She called her job and they pretended like it was something the insurance company had done, but the insurance company said they are not allowed to just drop people from a company’s insurance unless it is ordered by the company. To me that is proof that she was let go because of her health. When I heard this it made me want go down there and act a fool, but my wife didn’t want me to. Now, I want to see if this can be handled in court. I want to know are there any laws that can protect her and if so what are they and can we sue. Any advice would help. – A Husband Fighting For His Wife

“Me and My Pastor Are Feeling Each Other But I Don’t Know Where It’s Going!”

Dear Mr. A Husband Fighting For His Wife,

I am sorry to hear about your wife’s situation and the dilemma you find yourself. I am not well-versed on this matter, and I strongly urge that you do check with a labor lawyer. A lawyer that deals with human resources, companies, and labor issues. I also suggest that everything you’ve said to me in this letter that you have written and proven documentation. You should definitely get a letter from the insurance company stating why she was dropped and when she was dropped. As well as something from the doctor and the date of her visit. Get everything in order because going against the insurance companies can be a BIG PAIN IN THE YOU KNOW WHERE. And, you’re going to have to prove that her previous employer dropped her prior to her knowing, and if it was due to medical reasons. Hearsay is not going to work. You need documented proof.

But, as you’ve requested, I am leaving the comments open for this as there may be a member, or reader who can assist you. So, all you readers out there who may be well-versed, or work in human resources, or with labor laws, or if you know of a lawyer, can you all help this brother out.

I hope you and your wife find the advice and resources you need. Godspeed and I have your wife in my prayers. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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Kerry Washington: “I’m Not Ready For A Baby”

HelloBeautifulStaff — Fri, 21 May 2010 18:45:31 +0000

Kerry Washington graces the cover of the upcoming issue of JET magazine. The actress talks about her career and why babies are not on her radar just yet…

In her latest film “Mother and Child,” acclaimed actress Kerry Washington plays a married woman with fertility issues who adopts a child while her personal life spirals out of control. But in real life, the 33-year-old sexy starlet tells Jet that having a baby is not quite on her radar these days. That’s no surprise since within this year she’s starred in the acclaimed Broadway play, “Race,” shot two films and continues her eco-campaigns and advocacy for the arts in public schools.

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5 Reasons Why Black Women Aren’t Gold Diggers

HelloBeautifulStaff — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:15:41 +0000

I know some black men who are attracted to black women but don’t pursue them because they think that black women aren’t interested in them. All of these guys have great jobs, went to great schools, they all are in excellent shape, they hit the gym, they play sports and party hard. But they don’t really meet black women. Their main reason is that black women “are looking for something specific”. They go on to say that black women like the “corporate thug type”; the guy that came from the hood, played sports in college, joined a frat, works out 24-7, went into the corporate world and converted their street knowledge into a huge pay check.

Yes, it sounds like a fairytale. But does this guy really exist?

Well, I also hear that this guy is pretty rare but when he does appear black women swoon and would rather fight over or share him than find a nice simple black man with a decent check.

Is this really true? Did all the black women get together and decide that they want this one specific type of man? If it is just a stereotype, where did it start? To find out, I decided to do some investigating. So I asked Google what it thinks about black women. Luckily I did get some good answers about black women, but unfortunately the word gold digger came up.

After exploring my personal relationships and experiences I figured out why black women get this nasty label put upon them:

1. Women In General Communicate Needs And Wants Differently – Women speak a different language and men have a hard time deciphering. It’s like when I do something stupid and I ask my wife what is wrong and she says nothing,and then I ask her 18 more times and she says nothing and then a week later she tells me what is wrong.

My point here has to do with my wife’s friend. She was dating this guy who doesn’t believe in God and her father is a pastor. Her father told her to leave him and she did. She met another guy who seems kind of like a loser; he didn’t have a good job and he’s basically floating around hoping something comes to him. Overall, he is kind of a slimy fellow. Well, her ex-boyfriend recently got a great job and all of a sudden she is trying to mend the relationship and get back with him.

Her main reason is that her current boyfriend is a 30-something with no career and her non-God fearing ex-boyfriend persevered, reached his goals and is making a lot of money. Is she really a gold digger? No, she says her reason for not wanting to stay with her current boyfriend is that her ex-boyfriend is making a good living. But what she really means to say is “I am dating a loser for no reason and I am really in love with my ex- who my dad made me break up with and I’d rather be with him.”

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2. Black Women Have To Be Cautious – Some black men have a hard time with motivation. I’ve been there so I understand. Society tells us that we can’t really aspire to having a career unless it involves a ball, a mic or a scale. I am not clowning anybody here, because I have been there and plenty of my friends are still there.Unfortunately way too many sisters have been burned by these types of guys.

He’s sitting around waiting on a record deal or for his friend to get into the NBA so that he can have money. Meanwhile, time is wasting away. She is saying we can’t even go out to dinner, and the guy reads that as “I want a free meal from a man”. No, she really wants to spend some quality time with YOU!

3. White Women Are Gold Diggers Too – For some reason a white gold digger just gets looked at differently. She is looked at as a singular being, if she is beautiful and blonde, she is treated like she has the right to be a gold digger. It’s like she probably couldn’t do anything else but use her looks to get paid. If a black woman is a gold digger she is a coniving b**** and she also represents all black women.

4. Women Crave Security – All women like to wake up in the morning knowing that their job is steady, their bills are paid, their man loves them and their house is clean. So when a black woman questions a man to find out where his head is at, it immediately sound like gold digging. No, she is looking for a secure man. Is that too much to ask for?

5. Fear Of Baby Mama Status - Sadly, a lot of women have seen what their mother’s went through; raising children on one income, struggling to get by or watching them get abused by a bad father. Coupled with the images of black man in the news, in music, videos and in movies. The fear of a black man turning a woman into a baby mama is at an all time high! Again, women have to move cautiously.

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3 Tips For Starting A New Career

HelloBeautifulStaff — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:21:56 +0000

(From shine.com)

Do you want to go back to school, get a new job, or otherwise change your career?

You can quit a job you’re tired of and change your career path! These tips are inspired by the successful Suze Orman, who encourages women to find work they love — even if it means going back to school or taking a low-paying job.

1. Think career, not short-term job. When I first started freelance writing, my husband kept talking about my “writing career.” That freaked me out at first, but then I began to think about my writing that way…as a career, not just a dream, goal, or way to pay the bills. It changed how I organize my workday, what I focus on, and what types of assignments I accept.

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2. Get comfortable with failure – and build your resilience. Successful women fail a lot – and they bounce back a lot more! Learn how to overcome failure , recover from setbacks, and focus on your long-term vision. Expect that you’ll have to struggle to achieve your goals…because good things rarely come easily.

3. Make sure all your choices take you in the right direction. Before you decide to take a class, quit a job, accept a promotion, or take on a new client, ask yourself if that choice moves you towards your long-term career goals. Avoid the inclination to dismiss your needs to make other people happy or fulfill their expectations. Surround yourself with women who are where you want to be…or who are getting where they want to go.

Click here for more tips.

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How To Sleep Your Way UP The Career Ladder

HelloBeautifulStaff — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:30:40 +0000

Not every woman needs to climb her way to the top, for some women success is so desired that they will do whatever it takes. They have no shame; and their mama did raise a hoe with lessons like “you gotta use what you got, to get what you want.” Besides, sex is used every hour of every day to exchange value and get things done. Sex is a commodity, like it or not.

If we are talking about two consenting adults that are upfront and honest about their intentions, and both parties are aware of the exchange, then live and let live. Some will say that these shameless women make us all look bad but I say as long as she makes no apologies, and like Jay-Z said “What you eat don’t make me sh**” As always, know thyself and use condoms.

It’s No Judgment Friday, so here are 3 tips on how to sleep your way up the career ladder?

1) Be able to identify the gatekeepers: These are the people that can get you access to the powers that make the decisions. A true opportunist can size up the work place quickly then she will befriend and/or figure out how to get herself to someone that can get her that raise.

5 Friends You Should Have On The Job

2) You cannot discriminate when it comes to “the loving”: Your career is your number one priority, not being attracted to your “potential sex partner,” whether he is fat, old, has a hairy back and/or butty is irrelevant. None of these factors should be a deterrent for a true career gal, with few morals who is ready to advance. Just keep your eyes closed, while dreaming of your new corner office.

3) Train and save money: When you get to the position which took you so many hours on your back and/or knees to obtain you can show all (because word will get around– so having thick skin will serve you) that although you “spread it” to get there–you are also intelligent. Yet, if you do not have the job skills, save your money because if that person who “put you on” gets fired then you will be the first to go. And who knows when your next opportunity will arise?

Top 10 Stars That Should Just Retire Already

Take a look at these celebs who have put their careers first:

celebs who have put their career first

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Kanye: “No One Can End My Rap Career”

Deborah Bennett, Senior Editor — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:21:15 +0000

If it’s one thing we know about Kanye is that he is THE master of bragging…The rapper talks to Devi Dev about bloggers, rumors of him being gay, having gay friends, Karl Lagerfeld, Kobe Bryant and more.

Take a listen:

Check out our Kanye gallery:

Kanye snags 9 BET Awards nominations

Kanye calls Taylor Swift to apologize

Janet Jackson To Write Tell-All Book

HelloBeautifulStaff — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:56:23 +0000

Janet Jackson is writing an explosive tell-all book about her world-famous family following the recent death of her older brother Michael.

“She is going to talk about Michael’s death and how it’s affected her and his children and the rest of the family,” a publishing industry insider close to Janet’s book deal reveals in the Aug. 31 issue of In Touch Weekly.

The 43-year-old singer had originally planned to write about her lifelong weight struggles, but decided to switch topics after Michael’s death in June.

“A lot of it will focus on her battle with self-esteem and weight,” a friend says. “She’s a huge success, but that’s not always what she has seen when she looks in the mirror, so the book will talk about how she has coped, and about her family relationships. She wants to help other young women out there.”

Janet’s book is expected to hit shelves early next year, just in time for the release of her new studio album.

Janet Jackson set to make a comeback

Take a look at Janet over the years:

Janet

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Janet offers to raise MJ’s children

UPDATE: Lauren London Wanted Abortion

Deborah Bennett, Senior Editor — Tue, 26 May 2009 18:30:56 +0000

We told you last week that Lauren and Weezy weren’t happy about the pregnancy initially, but they have accepted it and will raise the baby together, well it seems like there’s more baby drama going on between these two.

According to egyptsaidso.com, Lauren is upset she lost her virginity to Wayne and is only keeping the baby because he threatened to out her if she had an abortion. Lauren decided to go ahead with the pregnancy so she would not ruin her reputation and career.

Lauren London pregnant by Lil Wayne

Damn, this some crazy ish right here.

Check out these pics of Lauren below:

5 Tips To Make Yourself More Valuable At Work

Deborah Bennett, Senior Editor — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:34:09 +0000

For every person looking for work, there’s another looking over their shoulder, worried about keeping the job they have.

Here are five tips for keeping up with the things you can still control.

1.) Designate one day per week when you will come in early. Get there before the boss does; if you can manage it, get there before everyone else does, too. It doesn’t have to be the same day each week, and it doesn’t have to be by much, but that little extra bit of facetime can go a long way toward keeping you on the office radar and reminding people that you are, indeed, dedicated to the company.

Take control of your career.

2.) Designate one day per week when you will stay late. Later than your boss, later than everyone else, if you can, for the same reason stated above. Facetime, facetime, facetime.

Click here to read more.

(from shine.com)

Take Control Of Your Career!

HelloBeautifulStaff — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:33:30 +0000

I’d like to share a story with you about two interesting people that we ALL know…

Ms. Jane D. Acceptor thinks, “I’ve got this dead-end job, I’m bored to tears, but hey – it pays my bills. It keeps a roof over my head. So what if I hate what I do, and I’m not crazy about the people I work with? It’s a job. Aren’t you supposed to hate your job?”

Jane goes through life just accepting how it all turns out. But Mrs. Wendy Ago-Getter is a different animal. She used to be in Jane’s place, she actually worked in the cubicle right next to her. She and Jane used to complain, complain and complain about how their boss was an idiot, how management had no clue, and about how other co-workers got on their nerves. Sure they weren’t the nicest things to say about others but they had a roaring good time doing it!

They were bitter and thrived off of each other’s negative energy. They threw pity parties on a daily basis on instant messenger and on their lunch breaks.

But then… something changed. Wendy’s Husband, Mr. Getter, introduced her to the law of attraction, because her bad attitude was bringing him down and causing their marriage to get a bit rocky. Once Wendy started to become aware of how she allowed her energy to flow, she also noticed how depression and unhappiness took control of her life. It seemed as if she WANTED this for herself. And it was at this moment when she realized she had the power to make a change. With this gradual mental shift she started to get to know herself a bit more. She started to dig deep for her inner power.

When Wendy had free time, she wrote children’s books and found pleasure in this craft. Whenever she got home, and after she put her five-year-old to bed, she wrote. She loved her newly discovered imagination where all her stories stemmed from. After all, it came natural to her. It was so easy to create fun characters. What she loved most was reading them to her daughter and seeing that smile on her face as she entered that imaginary land with Wendy.

Well, Jane thought what Wendy was doing was just ridiculous. Writing children’s books? COME ON, GET REAL! Jane became jealous when Wendy slowly started to pull away from her. The lunch breaks went down from two a week to none a week. Wendy enjoyed writing in the park on her break instead. Wendy felt alive again. She had so much fun writing.

One day Wendy’s daughter brought in one of Wendy’s book to school so that the teacher could read it to the class. The teacher was thoroughly impressed with her writing style. She was especially taken aback at the students’ reaction to the story. They LOVED it! Turns out that the teacher’s brother was an agent for authors and the teacher didn’t hesitate to set up a meeting with him and Wendy.

Wendy couldn’t believe it. “My little old books? It was just a hobby. I would do it for free,” she raved. But then she started to accept her gift and realized that she did deserve whatever was coming to her. She started to picture her book on shelves of books stores, she imagined children in the park reading her books, she saw her daughter bragging about her mom – the author! Positive visualization became her daily habit. Her husband told her that her mental shift is what caused these changes in her life. There are NO COINCIDENCES.

A month later, her company downsized her department and, of course, that was no surprise. She received a pretty good severance and was actually thrilled for the opportunity to write more. Turns out, her new agent landed her a bidding war for her books. Simon & Schuster and Random House wanted a two-book deal from her. They were up to 50k for her advance; she hoped it would go even higher!

Could this be happening? Wendy and her husband were practically floating from the stream of good news. It was like a darn fairy tale in one of her books.

Funny enough, Jane D. Acceptor didn’t get laid off. She was transferred to another department and given even more work to cover all of the folks that left. Jane wasn’t happy about it but of course, what the heck could she do?

The fact is, she could do a whole lot. We are all deliberate creators of our lives. Jane was just existing – not living.

Newsflash: If you continue living your life as a victim, focus on what’s wrong with everything, and place blame on everyone, you will only bring more of what you DON’T want into your life.

How ’bout looking in the mirror and starting there? Where we are right this very second is because of what we have done in our past. The fairy tale that Wendy is now living is very possible. You can do a 360 with your career, your business and your relationships when you are not sleepwalking through life.

It’s sad to say that we have all been brainwashed into thinking that most of our desires are not only self-serving egotistical no-no’s but absurdly impossible.

BEGIN THE REVOLUTION OF A NEW OUTLOOK ON YOUR FUTURE…

1. Spend time alone; get to know yourself. Journal your dreams, meditate, pray, read self-help books, do whatever works for you at your pace, but make time to do it. Have tons of people in the house? Go for a daily walk, go to the library, get a babysitter. Just do it alone.

2. Find out what your true calling is. What are you really here to do?

3. Get rid of the “Janes” in your life. Do away with the toxic people, the emotional vampires that suck the life right out of you. These are the people who enjoy being depressed and want to take you along for the ride.

4. Surround yourself with go-getters, not acceptors!

5. Say no to pity parties. The second you feel one coming on, switch it around and start thinking about what positive outcome you want. You know a pity party is on its way when you start thinking, “Why does this always have to happen to me? I’ll never be able to pay my bills! I’m such a loser! I will never find the right mate, etc…”

Cut it out already! Stop whining and complaining and DO SOMETHING about it. Talk about your dreams and your future. Write about it and fantasize about it constantly.

Okay, some of you reading this might think…

“Simone has really lost it. This is silly – give me a freakin’ break! I don’t have any power to change my situation.”

You are SOOOO wrong, BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU WANT IS ATTAINABLE… you hear me? Anything you want.

So you make the choice. Let the revolution begin!

Own Your Power,

Simone

Want to quit your job, but don’t know where to go? Maybe it’s time to be your own boss.

But if you’re going to own your own company, you’re going to have to get over networking jitters first!

Will “House of Style” Launch Chanel’s Career?

HelloBeautifulStaff — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:08:25 +0000

[From Fashionologie]

In anticipation of her television debut on MTV’s House of Style this weekend, we snagged Chanel Iman for a few minutes to chat about how she landed the coveted role of show correspondent (first peek at her in the show, left), her recent coup on the runway at Balenciaga, and about how she might have already landed a date to this year’s Costume Institute Gala. It also sounds like she has a career switch in mind – but Chanel will tell you all about it herself.

How did your role on House of Style come about?

Well basically, they called my agency, I went in to meet with them, I did an audition with all the rest of the girls, and they called – I was waiting for the phone call, I was hoping I got it – but I was waiting for about three months. And when I got back from Paris – I was in Paris for ready-to-wear and did the whole fashion tour for Fashion Week – they told me I got it. I was really excited because it’s just another way for me to express myself!

Tell me a little bit about your upcoming Gossip Girl appearance.

It’s just experience – it was just for me to get an idea of what it would be like to be on set, to really see what happens since I’ve never been on a set before.

Are you looking for more TV appearances in the future then?

Yeah. I’m kind of slowing down on the modeling right now and I’m branching out to other experiences and interests that I have. [Ed. note: She told Teen Vogue: "House of Style is definitely just the start. I want to do television, film, music and designing. I want to do it all!"]

To read the rest of this interview, click here.

This is a season of firsts for the young model!

Check out Chanel’s behind the scenes video shoot here.