Tell us something we don’t know! Black women have always viewed themselves in a positive light, we know we can be whatever we want to be if given the chance.

The study also revealed that ninety-three percent of women say the pressure to look young today is greater than it’s ever been. And when it comes to sexual attraction, women listed face, body type, smile, eyes, and height as their favorites.

Do you agree with this poll?

Spotted at clutchmag.com

What Black Women Think About Black Women

Do Black Men Expect Too Much From Black Women?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and according to BlackDoctor.org “African-American females experience higher death rates from breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group.” This is partially due to African-American women tending to have more aggressive tumors. The fact is not meant to scare you, but it is meant as a wake up call.

Educate yourself and women you know on risk factors, discover ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer, learn how to give yourself a breast exam, and help to fight breast cancer. And remember, if you are over 40 years of age, it is important to schedule an annual mammogram.

Below is your own personal mini guide to help you get started on your breast cancer awareness.

Risk Factors:

Family history
Early puberty (before 12 years old) or Late menopause (after 55 years old)
Not having children or Having children after 30 years old
Obesity and high-fat diets
2 to 5 alcoholic drinks daily

Reduce the Risk:

Exercise or Being physically active
Eat Soy, Broccoli, Red Apples, Red Cabbage or Red Grapes
Drink green tea
Regular screening tests
Avoid hormone replacement therapy if possible

Self Examination (from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc):

Breast cancer self-examinations should be done monthly at the same time of the month, and right after your period ends.

• In the Shower

Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine the left breast, left hand for the right breast. Check for any lump, hard knot, or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.

• Before a Mirror

Inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Then rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do.

• Lying Down

Place a pillow under your right shoulder and put your right arm behind your head. With the fingers of your left hand flat, press your right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Fight Breast Cancer:

Donate, fundraise and/or volunteer. You can also shop at selected stores where the proceeds are donated to the fight. Check out these sites for various ways on how you can help them fight breast cancer.

• National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
• Susan G. Kormen for the Cure
• AVON Walk for Breast Cancer
• save the ta tas
• The National Marathon to finish Breast Cancer
• Sephora’s “Beauty with a Cause”
• Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives
• Clinique’s World Pink
• The Estée Lauder Companies’ “World Pink. World Without Breast Cancer.”

Love this, check out our black men that white women love

Whoopi Slams Trump For Obama “Birther” Comment

Here are 5 behaviors Black women tend to participate in more frequently than other female counterparts which perpetuate this staggering economic gap:

1. We treat boyfriends like husbands. We won’t get on how many different ways this behavior is detrimental, but speaking financially, co-signing on loans and entering long-term agreements with someone who has not even attempted to commit to you on a long term basis is ridiculous. More times than not, Black women are left with the debt of a brother who has moved on and is driving his new girlfriend around in the car you still have to pay the note on.

How To Live Big On A Small Budget

2. We don’t know how to say, “NO!” We tend to be givers by nature, but unfortunately we give until the point of self-deprivation. First to the church, then to bills and then to relatives and friends who have no means of paying us back. We believe that we are “helping” everyone around us from trifling siblings to grown children, but really we are enabling the people we love the most, not to mention damaging our own financial futures. Remember, the worst thing you can do for a broke person is become one of them!

3. We make our hair and nails a top priority. As Black women, being fly is definitely a priority, but can this be done on some type of budget? Are the nails with all the intricate designs that add an additional $10 to every pedicure really that important? Imagine what could happen if we rocked hairstyles and manicures that were less flashy and something we could maintain on our own in between appointments.

Click Here To Read More

5 Ways To Handle The Stickiest Money Situations

1. Mae Jemison

Mae Jemison has gone farther than most people, let alone most black women. Jemison became the first African American astronaut in space when in 1992 NASA sent her up-up-and-away on the Space Shuttle Endeavor. She has also been a medical doctor and a member of the Peace Corps in Liberia and Sierra Leone. What you may not know about Mae Jemison is that she entered Stanford University at the tender of age of 16.

2. Wangari Maathai

This Kenyan-born conservationist, environmental activist, and former assistant minister of environment and natural resources in her home country, was the first African woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize (1994). She attended colleges in Germany, USA (University of Pittsburgh) and Kenya. Her work in environmental protection has made her a pioneer in the effort to protect the planet from the impact of a changing climate.

3. Barbara Jordan

Barbara Jordan was a political force to be reckoned with, serving the Texas House of Representatives, the Texas Senate, and the US House of Representatives during her long and successful career in American politics. She was the first black Texas State senator since 1883 when she won in 1966, and the first black woman to ever win a senate seat in Texas. In 1972, Jordan became the first black woman from a southern state to enter the US House of Representatives, and was a popular, trusted colleague of many power players of that era.

4. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela

Winnie Mandela is a controversial example of a black female leader simply because of her tumultuous past with the South African legal system and several allegations made against her during her history in the spotlight. However it is still important to recognize Ms. Madikizela-Mandela because, regardless of her controversial past, she was intimately involved in the struggle to end one of modern history’s most deplorable policies, South African Apartheid.

5. Betty Shabazz

Also known as Betty X, Shabazz was the wife of former Nation of Islam pioneer, Malcolm X. While Betty Shabazz is a controversial figure in American history, she also served in a range of advisory and volunteer roles following the assassination of her husband, not to mention raising 6 children as a single mother.

6. Mary Seacole

Mary Seacole was a nurse and hero of the Crimean War. Born in Jamaica, she overcame several barriers in practicing nursing after the war, most of which were related to racial discrimination. Seacole eventually traveled to Turkey to join the team of Florence Nightingale. In late years she would be hailed for her bravery and dedication to the soldiers and nations she served to assist.

7. Madam Tinubu

Madam Tinubu was a Nigerian born political player who campaigned against the influence of the British Empire in her home nation and for the elimination of slavery. While once a slaver trader herself, Madam Tinubu eventually opposed all forms of slavery and used her influence to try to eliminate it.

8. Henrietta Lacks

Henrietta Lacks provided science with some of its most marvelous advancements simply by having had her cancerous cells sampled by a scientist in 1951. That scientist from Johns Hopkins University used them after she developed cervical cancer aged 30 to develop a series of immune cells in a culture. This development was the first of its kind and Henrietta’s cells were later sent to space for testing. They were also used to help develop the polio vaccine.

9. Queen Amina of Zaria

A 14th century Queen of what is now Nigeria, Amina is remembered for her role as one of the first militarily-active Queens. She participated in a number of battles and was renowned for her strategy and innovation.

10. Florence Joyner

Also known as Flo-Jo, Florence Joyner was a record-setting, multiple Olympic gold medalist and hero to many a small girl. She is attributed with increasing the profile of track and field for girls. Joyner died suddenly in 1998 aged 38 following an epileptic seizure.

11. Frances Cress Welsing

Francis Cress Welsing is an academic, psychiatrist and author. She is known for her controversial work about white supremacy and racial suppression theories. Her most recognized text is called ‘The Isis Papers.’

12. Angela Davis

Angela Davis is by far one of the most controversial black female leaders to have graced the pages of modern American history books. In the 60s she was involved heavily in the civil and woman’s rights movements. As a self-confirmed socialist, she was once a member of the Communist Party of the United States, spending extended periods of time in Cuba and remaining actively involved in the international socialist movement. However, Davis eventually became more moderate in her political affiliation and is now an active academic whose focus remains on feminist and Afro-American studies.

13. Toni Morrison

Toni Morrison is one of America’s most critically acclaimed authors, having won the Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Her characters are known for their particular ‘blackness.’ This became relevant in 1998 with her most remarkable characterization – speaking in reference to the impeachment of former president Bill Clinton she so famously referred to him as, “Our first Black president” because of particular personality and contextual traits he embodied.

14. Nina Simone

Almost everybody should know one of her classic hits because Nina Simone produced over 40 studio albums during her long, successful career as a recording artist. Born in 1933, Simone went on to become a songwriter, pianist, vocalist, singer and civil rights campaigner, honored and admired across the world for pioneering much of what we listen to today.

15. Jackie Joyner-Kersee

Jackie Joyner-Kersee was an American track athlete, recognized as one of this country’s greatest female athletes and sporting icons. In 1988 she launched the Jackie Joyner-Kersee Foundation to improve the lives of those in need in the St. Louis area.

16. Helene D Gayle

Dr. Helene Gayle is currently the CEO of CARE USA, one of the country’s leading humanitarian organizations. Dr, Gayle also chairs President Obama’s Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS as well as being involved in a number of other important humanitarian groups.

17. Margaret Ekpo

Like so many of the pioneering civil rights leaders we know in the United States, Margaret Ekpo was a leader in her own time and today. Although she passed away in 2006 at the age of 92, Ekpo is remembered for pushing for racial unity through the woman’s rights movement in Nigeria.

18. Cynthia McKinney

Cynthia McKinney is a well-known former House representative. A former Democrat, she later switched to the Green Party and was that party’s presidential candidate in 2008. McKinney has been a controversial political figure during her time in the spotlight, especially in regard to her belief of certain 09/11 theories. Yet McKinney has focused much of her attention on practical, grass roots political efforts. She was a strong advocate for victims rights during the post-Hurricane Katrina disaster.

19. June Jordan

June Jordan was a Jamaican-born, American poet, author, educator and activist. She is famous for her work in literature, covering topics relating to race, gender and equality. The June Jordan School For Equity in California is named in her honor.

20. Sheila Johnson

Sheila Johnson is a successful American entrepreneur, television and film producer and business woman. She co-founded BET but sold it in 1999 to Viacom. Sheila Johnson is also an owner and/or partner of three sporting teams, Washington Capitals (NHL), the Washington Wizards (NBA), and the Washington Mystics (WNBA).

21. Kathleen Cleaver

Kathleen Cleaver was a former Black Panther member turned Yale-educated lawyer and academic in law.

22. Harriet Washington

Harriet Washington is a controversial yet acclaimed author in the field of medical ethics. She is best known for writing the book, ‘Medical Apartheid’ in which she makes an historical and cultural critique of the medical situation facing African Americans.

23. Miriam Makeba, ‘Mama Afrika’

Miriam Makeba was a South African singer and civil rights activists, known for denouncing Apartheid on the world stage and campaigning abroad for the end of that government policy. Along with releasing several dozen albums, Mama Afrika appeared on television and across the world, holding at one time 9 passports as an honorary citizen in exile. She died in 2008, aged 76.

24. Michelle Obama

As the wife of our current president, Michelle Obama is undeniably the most recognized current figurehead of the black female community. Both nationally and abroad, she is hailed for her credibility, strong presence and intellect. Michelle is currently undertaking a range of programs, the most notable of which are the support of war widows and the battle against childhood obesity. However, irrespective of her unofficial role as the First Lady, she is also an accomplished lawyer, political campaigner and mother of 2 (and, as per the Vogue shot above, a style icon in the making).

25. Carol Moseley Braun

Carol Moseley Braun is, as of 2010, the only black female to have ever served in the US Senate. Braun was also the Ambassador to New Zealand from 1999 to 2001.

26. Patricia Roberts Harris

A Howard University graduate, Patricia Roberts Harris went on to become the first African American woman to serve as an ambassador. She held a number of Cabinet positions in the administration of Jimmy Carter including Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare.

27. Ella Fitzgerald

Ella Fitzgerald has had our skin in goosebumps for generations with her powerful lyrics and spectacular voice. She was the first African American woman to win a Grammy Award, eventually winning 14 as well as a range of other accolades including the Presidential Medal of Freedom. She passed away in 1996 at the age of 79.

28. Cora Mae Brown

Cora Mae Brown is an example of the less known, grassroots heroes of American social activism. Born in 1914, she was a social worker, policewoman, and lawyer, and eventually became the first black woman to be elected to a US state’s legislature, winning a seat in the Michigan State Senate in 1952. Cora Mae Brown was also involved actively in the National Council of Negro Women, the NAACP and the YWCA.

29. Yvonne Braithwaite Burke

Yvonne Braithwaite Burke is a woman of many firsts in her home state of California. In 1966 she became the first black woman elected to California legislature, in 1972 the first black woman elected to California Congress and in 1993 the first black woman to serve as Chair of the Los Angeles County Supervisors.

30. Our Mothers

By far the most sought after addition to our last list of strong black woman to know about were our mothers. They’re the women that gave you your first breath, helped support you, provided you the clothes on your back, a roof over your head and the nurturing that you needed to make it day-by-day in this harsh world. Even if she isn’t in your life any longer, the simple act of having conceived you and nurtured you during those painful 9 months, is something to admire and never forget. So go moms!

5 Charities To Help A Girl Out In Today’s Economy

1. Mae Jemison

Mae Jemison has gone farther than most people, let alone most black women. Jemison became the first African American astronaut in space when in 1992 NASA sent her up-up-and-away on the Space Shuttle Endeavor. She has also been a medical doctor and a member of the Peace Corps in Liberia and Sierra Leone. What you may not know about Mae Jemison is that she entered Stanford University at the tender of age of 16.

2. Wangari Maathai

This Kenyan-born conservationist, environmental activist, and former assistant minister of environment and natural resources in her home country, was the first African woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize (1994). She attended colleges in Germany, USA (University of Pittsburgh) and Kenya. Her work in environmental protection has made her a pioneer in the effort to protect the planet from the impact of a changing climate.

3. Barbara Jordan

Barbara Jordan was a political force to be reckoned with, serving the Texas House of Representatives, the Texas Senate, and the US House of Representatives during her long and successful career in American politics. She was the first black Texas State senator since 1883 when she won in 1966, and the first black woman to ever win a senate seat in Texas. In 1972, Jordan became the first black woman from a southern state to enter the US House of Representatives, and was a popular, trusted colleague of many power players of that era.

4. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela

Winnie Mandela is a controversial example of a black female leader simply because of her tumultuous past with the South African legal system and several allegations made against her during her history in the spotlight. However it is still important to recognize Ms. Madikizela-Mandela because, regardless of her controversial past, she was intimately involved in the struggle to end one of modern history’s most deplorable policies, South African Apartheid.

5. Betty Shabazz

Also known as Betty X, Shabazz was the wife of former Nation of Islam pioneer, Malcolm X. While Betty Shabazz is a controversial figure in American history, she also served in a range of advisory and volunteer roles following the assassination of her husband, not to mention raising 6 children as a single mother.

6. Mary Seacole

Mary Seacole was a nurse and hero of the Crimean War. Born in Jamaica, she overcame several barriers in practicing nursing after the war, most of which were related to racial discrimination. Seacole eventually traveled to Turkey to join the team of Florence Nightingale. In late years she would be hailed for her bravery and dedication to the soldiers and nations she served to assist.

7. Madam Tinubu

Madam Tinubu was a Nigerian born political player who campaigned against the influence of the British Empire in her home nation and for the elimination of slavery. While once a slaver trader herself, Madam Tinubu eventually opposed all forms of slavery and used her influence to try to eliminate it.

8. Henrietta Lacks

Henrietta Lacks provided science with some of its most marvelous advancements simply by having had her cancerous cells sampled by a scientist in 1951. That scientist from Johns Hopkins University used them after she developed cervical cancer aged 30 to develop a series of immune cells in a culture. This development was the first of its kind and Henrietta’s cells were later sent to space for testing. They were also used to help develop the polio vaccine.

9. Queen Amina of Zaria

A 14th century Queen of what is now Nigeria, Amina is remembered for her role as one of the first militarily-active Queens. She participated in a number of battles and was renowned for her strategy and innovation.

10. Florence Joyner

Also known as Flo-Jo, Florence Joyner was a record-setting, multiple Olympic gold medalist and hero to many a small girl. She is attributed with increasing the profile of track and field for girls. Joyner died suddenly in 1998 aged 38 following an epileptic seizure.

11. Frances Cress Welsing

Francis Cress Welsing is an academic, psychiatrist and author. She is known for her controversial work about white supremacy and racial suppression theories. Her most recognized text is called ‘The Isis Papers.’

12. Angela Davis

Angela Davis is by far one of the most controversial black female leaders to have graced the pages of modern American history books. In the 60s she was involved heavily in the civil and woman’s rights movements. As a self-confirmed socialist, she was once a member of the Communist Party of the United States, spending extended periods of time in Cuba and remaining actively involved in the international socialist movement. However, Davis eventually became more moderate in her political affiliation and is now an active academic whose focus remains on feminist and Afro-American studies.

13. Toni Morrison

Toni Morrison is one of America’s most critically acclaimed authors, having won the Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Her characters are known for their particular ‘blackness.’ This became relevant in 1998 with her most remarkable characterization – speaking in reference to the impeachment of former president Bill Clinton she so famously referred to him as, “Our first Black president” because of particular personality and contextual traits he embodied.

14. Nina Simone

Almost everybody should know one of her classic hits because Nina Simone produced over 40 studio albums during her long, successful career as a recording artist. Born in 1933, Simone went on to become a songwriter, pianist, vocalist, singer and civil rights campaigner, honored and admired across the world for pioneering much of what we listen to today.

15. Jackie Joyner-Kersee

Jackie Joyner-Kersee was an American track athlete, recognized as one of this country’s greatest female athletes and sporting icons. In 1988 she launched the Jackie Joyner-Kersee Foundation to improve the lives of those in need in the St. Louis area.

16. Helene D Gayle

Dr. Helene Gayle is currently the CEO of CARE USA, one of the country’s leading humanitarian organizations. Dr, Gayle also chairs President Obama’s Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS as well as being involved in a number of other important humanitarian groups.

17. Margaret Ekpo

Like so many of the pioneering civil rights leaders we know in the United States, Margaret Ekpo was a leader in her own time and today. Although she passed away in 2006 at the age of 92, Ekpo is remembered for pushing for racial unity through the woman’s rights movement in Nigeria.

18. Cynthia McKinney

Cynthia McKinney is a well-known former House representative. A former Democrat, she later switched to the Green Party and was that party’s presidential candidate in 2008. McKinney has been a controversial political figure during her time in the spotlight, especially in regard to her belief of certain 09/11 theories. Yet McKinney has focused much of her attention on practical, grass roots political efforts. She was a strong advocate for victims rights during the post-Hurricane Katrina disaster.

19. June Jordan

June Jordan was a Jamaican-born, American poet, author, educator and activist. She is famous for her work in literature, covering topics relating to race, gender and equality. The June Jordan School For Equity in California is named in her honor.

20. Sheila Johnson

Sheila Johnson is a successful American entrepreneur, television and film producer and business woman. She co-founded BET but sold it in 1999 to Viacom. Sheila Johnson is also an owner and/or partner of three sporting teams, Washington Capitals (NHL), the Washington Wizards (NBA), and the Washington Mystics (WNBA).

21. Kathleen Cleaver

Kathleen Cleaver was a former Black Panther member turned Yale-educated lawyer and academic in law.

22. Harriet Washington

Harriet Washington is a controversial yet acclaimed author in the field of medical ethics. She is best known for writing the book, ‘Medical Apartheid’ in which she makes an historical and cultural critique of the medical situation facing African Americans.

23. Miriam Makeba, ‘Mama Afrika’

Miriam Makeba was a South African singer and civil rights activists, known for denouncing Apartheid on the world stage and campaigning abroad for the end of that government policy. Along with releasing several dozen albums, Mama Afrika appeared on television and across the world, holding at one time 9 passports as an honorary citizen in exile. She died in 2008, aged 76.

24. Michelle Obama

As the wife of our current president, Michelle Obama is undeniably the most recognized current figurehead of the black female community. Both nationally and abroad, she is hailed for her credibility, strong presence and intellect. Michelle is currently undertaking a range of programs, the most notable of which are the support of war widows and the battle against childhood obesity. However, irrespective of her unofficial role as the First Lady, she is also an accomplished lawyer, political campaigner and mother of 2 (and, as per the Vogue shot above, a style icon in the making).

25. Carol Moseley Braun

Carol Moseley Braun is, as of 2010, the only black female to have ever served in the US Senate. Braun was also the Ambassador to New Zealand from 1999 to 2001.

26. Patricia Roberts Harris

A Howard University graduate, Patricia Roberts Harris went on to become the first African American woman to serve as an ambassador. She held a number of Cabinet positions in the administration of Jimmy Carter including Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare.

27. Ella Fitzgerald

Ella Fitzgerald has had our skin in goosebumps for generations with her powerful lyrics and spectacular voice. She was the first African American woman to win a Grammy Award, eventually winning 14 as well as a range of other accolades including the Presidential Medal of Freedom. She passed away in 1996 at the age of 79.

28. Cora Mae Brown

Cora Mae Brown is an example of the less known, grassroots heroes of American social activism. Born in 1914, she was a social worker, policewoman, and lawyer, and eventually became the first black woman to be elected to a US state’s legislature, winning a seat in the Michigan State Senate in 1952. Cora Mae Brown was also involved actively in the National Council of Negro Women, the NAACP and the YWCA.

29. Yvonne Braithwaite Burke

Yvonne Braithwaite Burke is a woman of many firsts in her home state of California. In 1966 she became the first black woman elected to California legislature, in 1972 the first black woman elected to California Congress and in 1993 the first black woman to serve as Chair of the Los Angeles County Supervisors.

30. Our Mothers

By far the most sought after addition to our last list of strong black woman to know about were our mothers. They’re the women that gave you your first breath, helped support you, provided you the clothes on your back, a roof over your head and the nurturing that you needed to make it day-by-day in this harsh world. Even if she isn’t in your life any longer, the simple act of having conceived you and nurtured you during those painful 9 months, is something to admire and never forget. So go moms!

5 Charities To Help A Girl Out In Today’s Economy

1. Black women hate being labeled as too aggressive, too angry, or too demanding.

2. Black women have a healthy view of themselves with 55% of black women thinking they are sexy, 65% of black women saying they have a lot of self confidence and 70% agreeing with the statement, “I am happy with who I am.”

GALLERY: Historical Firsts For Black Women

3. Black women mentioned that money and health are some issues that keep them up at night and that education, the Black family and President Obama’s performance in the White House are the important issues within our community.

4. Older black women are more likely to consider their role models to be women such as Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, and Oprah while the younger generation (women born between the years 1980 and 1995) are more likely to consider their role models to be women such as Beyonce.

Interesting! Shoutout to the sistahs! =)

Check out the rest of the story here.

Black Women Happier With, Less Likely To Change Body Than White Women [REPORT]

She said ‘black’ as if she were reporting a crime or another woebegone statistic: ‘An unidentified b-lllack male…’ or, ‘Yet another b-lllack woman…’ It felt to me, akin to the manner in which non-Jews spit ‘Jew’ from their lips. ‘What black people?’ I asked in a tone inflecting, What the hell kind of Black do you mean?

Later that evening, I knew exactly from where she’d gotten the wind in her sails. ME. Flipping channels, I threw my hands at an episode of Fantasia’s reality show and added, “She’s a hot mess!” for good measure. Not an hour earlier, I had taken offense to the very action she’d learned from my example. What she meant was, not like us.

WHERE do we get off?

In the weeks leading up to the theatrical release of “For Colored Girls”, every email, tweet and Facebook post screamed with anticipation. I wondered what the after affect would bring to our sister-community. I thought that it would be stronger than the sister-high that lasts but two weeks after Essence has told us we should be nice to one another. I hoped. Then I got this email:

When I first heard of the movie “For Colored Girls” I got so excited. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth…

Reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn’t be willing to participate for various reasons: You don’t like me, you don’t care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don’t understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues, for all the world to see, you don’t like crowds, so [and] so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity, etc…

It has ALWAYS amazed me that black women are each other’s biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each others faults and nit-pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give, and then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for ‘thinking they cute’ but turn around and dog the average sister because ‘she know she should take better care of herself than that.’ We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else’s coat tails. We tell a big sister to put down her burger and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for talking to darn much and torment the quiet woman for needing to take up for herself.

Broke, Not Broken: Letting Go Of Financial Stress In Your Marriage

I have to wonder, since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don’t like? What has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along or unify to support one another? Everybody seems to be out for self while other groups unite against us. Nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich, handsome, husband… this does not mean that should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income-based housing struggling to keep her lights on. Money alone doesn’t make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn’t keep you satisfied, beauty doesn’t make you any less insecure, fame doesn’t make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a better judge of character.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I’m not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony, but that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don’t know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. If we would spend 1/3 of the time spent tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, and show love, we could truly make a difference. PLEASE don’t be the straw that breaks another woman’s back. There is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, [and] prayer. (sender unknown, content edited)

Where do WE get off?

If we are to travel this road toward discovery and fulfillment we have to stop ignoring the approaching signs signaling a dead-end ahead. If our GPS is set to avoid all chance encounters with stragglers on the road lest we be misidentified by our commonalities, we’ll forever run into ourselves. We believe that to travel in the right direction we have to avoid familial roads, faces, circumstance. Well, we’ve been thumbing a ride on that wagon forever and in 2008, we thought we’d been allowed to travel.

Where DO we get off?

Amber Rose: “Women Need To Stop Hating On Each Other”

OKCupid did a study to determine what online daters typically search for as far as characteristics in the opposite sex. Now they determined a few different things from this study but one of the findings that made an impression on me was that Black women are the most ignored race on the net — that is, members of all races respond the least to Black womens’ queries. Word? Contrary to this, they also said that Black men were more likely to date outside of their race than Black women were. Now, that part was not surprising to me. Actually, it would not be surprising to me if other dating sites did a study and their findings were similar. The bigger question is why?

For the life of me, I will never understand why Black women are belittled and seen as less attractive than women of other races. Especially when we are one of the most copied and mimicked race of women on the planet. Women of other races literally die on surgery tables for what many of us have naturally. So why the constant diss to the Black woman? I may not know the exact answer but I do have a few theories.

Are Black Women’s Standards Too High?

1. The stereotypical Black woman is more prevalent among other races than we might know. A person of another race may have limited interaction with Black people. They may only interact with Black women at their place of work. If there are 1 to 2 Black women at their jobs with the stereotypical Black girl, head rolling attitude then they, on some level, think that most Black women behave in this way. Whether they would be willing to admit it or not. Again this is especially for the individuals who have limited to no interaction with Black women outside of their jobs. Meaning they have no Black women as their close personal friends and no Black women in their family.

2. They have accepted the images of Black women that are prevalent in the media. They watch movies with Black women, they may watch a television show with a Black woman as a character, and this is how they gather their perception of Black women. They take that for being the truth because it is coming from the media. The media is and always will be one of the most powerful tools of….To Read The Rest Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Overweight Men Last Longer In Bed, Study Says

I have an observation that I want to share. I’ve come to the conclusion that the some Black men expect far too much from Black women. Far more than what they are willing to give themselves. Again, this is some men, not all. The problem stems from the idea that Black women are expected to fill many roles. We are expected to be a homemaker, breadwinner, lover, counselor, be mentally advanced, but not so advanced that it makes them uncomfortable. We are also expected to understand their needs and to be able to find an appropriate way of approaching them about it without harming their egos. All in a day’s work right?

Comedian Monique Urges Women To Submit To Their Men

Well, that depends on the man and what he is willing to give. Unfortunately there are some Black men who feel a sense of undeserved entitlement. They feel that they should be able to do minimal and receive the maximum. They do not think that they have to be loyal, work hard in a relationship, give all of themselves to a woman or even show any true form of emotion. The kicker to this is while they indulge in the feeling of being entitled they also are subject to the media/slave mentality that convinces them that Black women are subpar. Some of them roll with it and this leads them to compare Black women to women of other races and place those other women on pedestals. When we do not measure up to their ideas of physical beauty or what they perceive a woman of worth should be it only pushes them away more. So not only do they enter into situations with women with unrealistic and sometimes self centered expectations, they also have preconditioned judgments towards Black women versus women of other cultures.

Going Abroad: Experiencing Men NOT Made In America

It’s a trick. Ideologies like these were put in place to further tear the Black family unit apart. The idea that a man should be able to give when he decides he wants to give but expect that his woman should….To Read The Rest Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Black women, we love our curves. Don’t we? We love the fact that we have hips, a booty, how our silhouette is to envy. A young woman asked me recently to write a post about women who are overweight and how they should remain confident. Now, I tried to write a sincere piece about this topic but my heart was not there. I want all women to have a positive self image, love themselves and to be confident no matter their size but I will not encourage them to remain ignorant to the truth. I cannot in good conscious encourage a woman to remain overweight and risk her body shutting down from bad health. Oh yes, it can happen. I have seen it first hand on more than one occasion.

Bike Your Way Through The Heat

I want women, Black women in particular to stop misusing the word “thick” when they are in fact “overweight” or simply “fat”. This is just another tool that the African American community uses to ignore the ugly truth of how obesity is plaguing us. There is a difference between being thick and being fat. Having curves, a booty, thighs, full breasts, etc Yes, you are thick. However if you are at least 100 to 150 pounds or more overweight then you are not thick. You are fat. Chances are you are not that healthy either. Which is where my real concern comes in. I can tell you one hundred times that you look great. Don’t worry about loosing any weight. It doesn’t matter what you eat. Who cares that you are at least 100 pounds overweight. Girl you better eat! Girl you just extra thick. I would be doing you a disservice. I could tell you all those things and these and none of them would be true. The truth would be that you are going down the path of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc..

Let me say that, I am in no way an advocate for women to starve themselves or attempt to be an unrealistic small size. See, the pendulum swings both ways. I do not think you should be morbidly obese or ridiculously thin. Both of these categories are equally unhealthy. I also do not subscribe to White America’s generalization that in order for a woman to be considered attractive she has to be a size 1, 2 3 or even a 4. Especially when the average woman in America is about a size 9/10. Nor am I encouraging you to be a size 1 or 2 unless you are naturally petite. The truth is that hiding behind the word “thick” is not going to prevent the health problems down the line if you are indeed fat and not thick.

Get Better Abs Now

There has to be a balance. Black women we fight against the “system” and we purposely separate ourselves from other women of other cultures by embracing our curves. We laugh at the them for wanting what we have naturally. For years they belittled and mocked our bodies and now they pay people to stick needles in their lips and ass in order to get it. Oh the irony. We are even braggadocios about our backside and the curvature it comes with. We refer to ourselves as being “juicy” “thick as hell”, “super thick” etc.. These are all terms of endearment. It is the reason why when it is picture time the first thing we do is… To Read The Rest Go to YeahSheSaidIt

Picture this: You are career woman who has devoted much of your life to fulfilling your dreams in your career and moving up the corporate ladder with fierceness. You feel that you are at your peak, but there is one thing missing. Well, make that two. You want a child, but you are not in a stable or long-term relationship. What do you do?  Continue to seek out that Prince Charming and hope to one day have a family before your eggs vanish? Or skip the middle man, literally, and get yourself a sperm donor?

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Believe it or not, there are women who choose to go in the direction of a sperm donor. They have given up on the idea of having a husband so they move on to a component that they can control. That is having the child. The question is whether or not this avenue is a selfish one, as the child will not have a Father figure?

Top Cities To Find Work As A Black Woman

You can look at this from two very distinct points of view.

One being that there are mothers who raise children without fathers and manage to do an excellent job at doing so.

Then there is the component that it can be seen as selfish of the woman for having a child purposely, and knowing that there will never be a father figure in that child’s life. After all, doesn’t every child deserve to have one? For some children, the absence of father figures has a negative effect on them that stay with them until adulthood, while others are able to live and grow without one and never miss having that figure in their lives. Some are lucky enough to find father figures in other men such as uncles, brothers, grandpa’s etc., so they never feel the void.

Should a woman who is ready for a child but does not see marriage in her future give up on becoming a mother altogether? Or is it completely plausible for her to have a child through the help of a sperm donor and raise that child without a father?

Is a woman selfish for having a child though a sperm donor? Should she continue to wait on her Prince Charming despite her own needs and wants?

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

Due to the HIV/AIDS shock of the 80’s, the FDA banned blood donations from men who had had sex with another man after 1977. The policy remains in effect to this day. Gay rights advocates protested the ban as both unfair and unwise. One of their responses to this is to compare the statistics of gay men who are infected with HIV to that of Black women. They state that rates of HIV in Black women are also high and in turn they should also be banned. Statistically speaking, I can see why gay men would say the ban is not fair. The FDA claims that they are simply doing what is best for the public and going by statistics that are available to them. In theory yes, there should be a ban on Black women giving blood as well. However, this will never happen and I will tell you why.

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The problem with the FDA’s possible attempt at banning blood from Black women is the racist implications and backlash that would come along with it. Even if it is logical that both groups of individuals are banned it would quickly turn from a situation based on logic ad rationale to a situation about race. It would open up a whole new can of worms with racist allegations. This is an issue that the FDA does not want. Unfortunately, banning gays is a headache that they can justify in our society because there are so many people who are vehemently against gays.

Is Halle A Lesbian?

Also, many people do not see the struggle for equality among gays the same as they do among…To Read The Rest Go to YeahSheSaidIt

Tomorrow is the first Friday of the month, which means its time for the Department of Labor Statistics’ June unemployment figures.

Last month we revealed that black women had performed particularly well in the unemployment figures, better than all other major demographic groups. Black female unemployment had declined 10 per cent from April to May.

Unemployment Drops For Black Women By 10%

Of course the data is indicative of only one aspect of the overall job situation facing everyone in the United States and we should never forget that the struggle to keep jobs is never-ending. But every-now-and-then its nice to hear some uplifting news like last month’s unemployment figures.

Check in tomorrow when we reveal if June has proved as successful for the black women of America.

Top Cities To Find Work As A Black Woman

Rapper Slim Thug’s recent comments regarding Black women and how they expect too much from a man and require a man to do too much for them financially hit blogs yesterday and sent shock waves of annoyance and disappointment through internet savvy Black women all over the country. I think that some Black women agreed with Thug to an extent as far as being willing to give what you expect but are equally  disgusted with the constant articles in regards to all the problems a Black woman has. Everything from why Black women can’t get a man to the amount of successful single Black women there are to Black women and our “attitudes” and now this article which in so many words says that Black women should get off their high horse and settle for whatever a Black man decides to give them.

Red alert! That is where I have a problem with Slim Thug. Yes there are some Black women who might have unrealistic expectations or expect more than they are willing to give but that is not a Black woman’s issue. That is an issue with women in general.  Women of all races can be unappreciative and self centered. Women of all races can also indulge in scandalous gold digging activities.  If Slim was unfortunate enough to date a Black woman with the “me,me,me” attitude then he should have drop kicked her ass to the curb. However, I honestly do not believe that the majority of Black women are naturally selfish and self centered in the manner that he is describing. My biggest gripe with Thug’s opinion is that he somehow thinks that a Black woman who expects to be treated a certain way by her man is asking for too much and that the Black woman should settle for what he decides to give her. Really?

Is It Possible For Couples To Make Their Own Rules

I am exasperated by the media and society’s assertion that a Black woman should be bothered with a nothing ass man and just take whatever he gives and not only be happy but be damn happy just because he is making himself available to her. While White women raise their daughters from birth to aim for the best. Aim for the best man, with the best career, and the best income and who will treat you the best. This first class mentality is expected from a White woman because she is somehow worth this type of treatment. Damn right she better expect the best. She is a cut above the rest.  She is not labeled a gold digger, a tramp or told that she is asking for too much for having this mentality. Society as a whole has been mis-educated to believe that a Black woman’s worth is and always will be second class to her White counterpart.  For God sakes this reasoning goes as far back as slavery.  When White women were saw as precious white pearls that required protection and love while Black women were the hard rocks that were sturdy work horses and could tolerate anything. This is why it is insulting to some people when Black women demand what they feel that they are worth or have high expectations of their man. For some, the idea of a Black woman having expectations at all from her man is self righteous. Truth be told, White women have high expectations as well but they express it in a different way from Black women.  If they feel that they are a cut above the rest then they are attacked and bullied into believing that this mentality is haughty.  Again, I’m not talking about the selfish, childish, Black woman who does not want to evenly contribute to a relationship with her man. That is for another post. I am talking about the average Black woman who is loving, genuine and loyal to her man and expects to receive what she deserves. Why is it wrong when a Black woman expects the best? To suggest that a Black woman should just take whatever she gets is insulting, tired, and played out.  Guess what? A lot of Black women in 2010 have opened their eyes and they are not going to be that easily mentally manipulated any longer.

No other race asks their women to engage in that type of minimalistic mentality expect for the Black community. Why? Is it because of our history? Is it because the Black man and woman have gone through so much emotional , physical and spiritual turmoil together for generations that now Black women are expected to understand his strife and tolerate his foolishness with a smile on their face? “Lord let me just take whatever he gives me cause I do not want to ask for too much from him and upset him.”  Black women are expected to accept anything that a man gives them and if they dare ask for more or expect him to give them his best then they somehow are the ones being unappreciative, disloyal, and demanding.

Breaking The Boundaries: Cross Cultural Dating

The more insulting part is that Black women are the ones who have been caring, loving and loyal to Black men for years. We have been the ones who were wiping their snotty noses when they are down and patting them on the back, letting them know that not only will things get better but that they are not alone in their hurt. Many Black women to this day resist dating outside of their race in hopes that their chocolate prince charming will come sweep them off their feet while their male counterparts leave them by the wayside and have bought into the mentality that the White pearl is so much better than a dark ugly hard rock.  Black women have been by Black men’s side going through some of the same hurt and obstacles as they do. Telling them that despite what the media says, and the role that society has cast them in, that they are truly special. Much more then they themselves sometimes are willing to believe.

To Read More From LJ Knight Go To YeahSheSaidIt

I was browsing the internet and came across a board that had the topic “Black Women Do Not Speak”. My first reaction was defensive. What do they mean we don’t speak? Curiously, I clicked the link and read the many examples and situations where a sista’s personality could be mistaken for being unfriendly. The blogger explained that he is a man who speaks to women while walking down the street and that Black women were the least friendly. He said that they would ignore him or roll their eyes at him when he would offer them a simple “hello”.  He went on to say that our White counterparts were more approachable and their dispositions overall were more upbeat in the same situation.

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This led me to truly consider myself and my interactions with people day to day as a Black woman. Do Black women speak? I have been greeted while walking to my destination by a stranger and as much as I would like to say that I always at least gave the stranger a smile back, there are many occasions where I did ignore them. Why is that?  Well it could be that I was in my own thoughts and did not even notice them. Or it could be me not wanting to be bothered at the moment. Despite how rude it appeared. Obviously this does not apply to all Black women but I want us to survey ourselves and ask how often do your respond when someone greets you on the street?

I think that a lot of  Black women are less likely to speak to most men on the street for a few reasons. One being that a lot of women assume that when a guy on the street is speaking to them that he is automatically trying to get with her. So, she wants to immediately put up her defensive wall with big bright lights that says “Please beat it”. Another reason is that women in general are taught to not be so friendly to strangers. Remember when you were taught stranger danger when you were a kid? Yeah, well in this day and age some of us still follow that because this world is crazy. Finally, I think that many women resist the urge to speak because they feel that if they open the lines of communication, the stranger will want something from them. It does not even have to be that he wants her number or that he is trying to holler at her. It could just be something that she does not want to be bothered with or care to know about. Which is her right.

Who Says Chivalry Is Dead?

Is this rude? Yeah, it can be. However, look at it from a woman’s point of view. Even the most unattractive woman will still be approached on the street by some man trying to “holla” at her or speak his game to her. So, after this happens several times for years on end, women tend to learn to generally ignore guys when they are trying to talk to them on the street. Sure it may not be the right thing to do or the nicest way to handle it but this is how many women look at the situation.

So what do we do to make the interaction between the stranger and the woman less rude? Speak to every man that greets you on the street? That might be pushing it. My suggestion would be give them a smile and keep it short. I have mastered this. I simply smile and if they ask how I am doing? I respond with a simple “fine” and keep it moving.

On the contrary, isn’t it your right to speak to whom you want to?  Someone not responding back to your greeting should not be taking personally.  Or should it?

Should you speak to every stranger who speaks to you on the street? Are Black women generally less friendly than other races of women?  Thoughts?

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

In a groundbreaking report released Monday by a leading economic research group, social scientists turned a spotlight on the financial challenges facing an often overlooked group of women, many of whom could not take an unpaid sick day or repair a major appliance without going into debt.

Among the most startling revelations in the wealth data is that while single white women in the prime of their working years (ages 36 to 49) have a median wealth of $42,600, the median wealth for single black women is only $5.

“The popular image is [black women] spend too much, which is the reason they are running up credit card and consumer debt, but the cost of living has risen faster than income, and they need to go into debt for basic daily necessities,” said Meizhu Lui, director of the Closing the Gap Initiative. “It’s compounded because unemployment is twice as high in the black community than it is in the white.”

For all working-age black women 18 to 64, the financial picture is bleak. Their median household wealth is only $100.

“That means half of [black women] have a net worth of more than $100 and half have a net worth of less than $100,” Ms. Lui said. “So that gives you an idea of how far in debt some women of color are.”

(Wealth, or net worth, measures the total of one’s assets — cash in the bank, stocks, bonds and real estate; minus debts — home mortgages, auto loans, credit cards and student loans.)

“There are excuses and circumstances that have evolved in society, which put black women where they are,” said Esther Bush, executive director of the Urban League of Greater Pittsburgh. The recession has hit single mothers especially hard.

In Pittsburgh and across the country, the financial burdens of single parenthood fall mostly on women, but black women are more likely to endure the work and responsibility of raising children on their own. They are more likely to be the backbone of their families and communities, with greater responsibilities to support struggling friends and families. READ MORE HERE!

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March is Women’s Month so it is fitting that this news should alarm Black women everywhere. With all of the mounting odds against us, it is becoming more & more important for us to have regular pap smears, mammograms, and tests run for herpes and HPV. For younger Black women, get all the info you need about HPV vaccinations here. CLICK HERE to learn more about herpes and what you can do to prevent exposure. -NewsOne Staff

According to the root.com, the latest news out of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is very troubling, to say the least.

A jaw-dropping 48 percent of black women between ages 14 and 49 have the virus which causes genital herpes, says the federal agency. Blacks in general are more than three times as likely as whites to have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) (39.2 percent vs. 12.3 percent).

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY HERE

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Let’s face it we tend to ask ourselves when we see white women with black men, what are they doing that we’re not?Most of us have come to expect a rich black celebrity or athlete to marry a white woman.  From Russell Simmons to Reggie Bush, these men have opted to go white. Reggie Bush and Lamar Odom have become household names and it has nothing to do with their athletic skills, they are famous because they date reality stars Kim and Khloe Kardashian.  There’s a new book called ‘Don’t Bring Home a White Boy’ hitting shelves soon, where attorney and writer Yolanda Young urges black women to take some tips from Kim and Khloe Kardashian and date outside of their race.

We recently came across this article on huffingtonpost.com where Young says that instead of hating, people should look at how the Kardashian sisters have “advanced the careers of their boyfriends.” She suggests that black women should focus their attention on “those who appreciate it,” whether black or otherwise.

Here’s an an excerpt from the article:

Using Black Men

Some have suggested that for as much as Kim and Khloe emote, they are really only exploiting their black men. This is a problematic premise in that it supposes that black men aren’t lovable. Reggie and Lamar are attractive, rich and obedient little puppies. What woman wouldn’t love that? If anything, the sisters, who’ve always had enough money to live in Beverly Hills, drive Bentleys, and eschew traditional work, have historically advanced the careers of their boyfriends. Kim garnered the dubious “Superhead” distinction after a sex video surfaced of her giving a blowjob (among other things) to her then boyfriend Ray J. The tape was perfect timing for Brandy’s little brother, who was fighting gay rumors. As for her current lover, it is unlikely Reggie’s mediocre NFL stats are behind his TV appearances, Got Milk? ad, and magazine profiles. Kim is keeping him relevant. The same can be said of Khloe regarding Lamar. Who outside of Laker fans and sports junkies knew of the forward before his quickie wedding to Khloe?

Reggie Bush covers Essence magazine, black women are mad

Perpetuating the Mandingo Archetype

When George Lopez asked Kim and Khloe, “What’s up with y’all and the black guys?” he was likely hinting at the notion that the Kardashian sisters play up their partners’ sexuality in an effort to play up the black man as stud persona. Historically though, white women, who have sought to use black men in this manner, have done so privately, perhaps taking a trip to the Caribbean or hosting a discreet Mandingo Sex Party. By contrast, the sisters have publicly professed love for and, in the case of Kim, had sex with, their black paramours, even though doing so carries a stigma, perhaps making them, in certain circles, less desirable mates.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

The Kardashian sisters explain why they like chocolate

In this month’s issue of Cosmopolitan magazine there was a story about inter-racial dating which features three couples who gave their take on dating outside of ones race.

It was very interesting that in 2010 we are still exploring this issue, but this is America which was founded on slavery. Therefore racism is still a disease, which we can all hope that one day will disappear. But today it is still an issue…just last week John Mayer was labeled a racist because of a quote that he gave to Playboy magazine when he called his “Penis A White Supremacist” and he also used the “N” word.

All of the recent controversy with Tiger Woods and his affairs with multiple white women which made some black women feel shunned by the golfer. I say, who cares if they do not like black women there are tones of man and yes-even white men, who do not have a penis that discriminates. Keeping in mind that every person is different and dating is not a one size fits type of thing, however here are a couple of tips when dating a white man.

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1) A bad hair day means nothing to him:People from the same background can be harder on each other, because they feel a sense on camaraderie. Men from another racial background, especially white men, seem to be more accepting of a bad hair day.  However, on the other hand, black men will be more forgiving if you happen to gain a little weight. The money that you save on the weekly trips to the salon will just have to be re-purposed for a trainer because slim and trim is the desired look.

2) Be prepared for the dirty looks:The same way some black girls see a black man with a white girl and give the couple a dirty look, white woman feel the same way when they see a white man with a woman of another race. I was shocked, when a white friend of mine told me that all of the good white guys were being taken by the Asian girls. If you’re going to be in an inter-racial relationship– do not take the reactions of strangers personal. A thick skin is mandatory–this is your man and you need to hold your head up high and ignore all negativity.

3) Just in case you were thinking it: Penis size is not an issue: I know that there is the myth of the big, black  penis but that is an urban legend. A small penis can exist with a black man or a white one. The problem could be that your new white boyfriend might believe that rumor and feel a bit insecure–which can really work in your favor when it comes to foreplay, if you know what I mean! Just use reassuring lines like “Give me that big…” (you fill in the rest)while making love, to restore his wondering mind and sooth his ego.

John Mayer: “My Penis Is Racist”

Check out these hot pics of inter-racial couples:

For a long time it was an understood rule that men were to be the breadwinners in their marriages.

While men were expected to “marry down” in terms of finances, women were inversely expected to “marry up,” by finding the man most likely and able to out-earn, and take care of them. This has been the status-quo in our society for quite some time, though it seems that the tide is turning.

According to ABC News, a new trend is emerging, whereby women are marrying down, and choosing husbands that are not their superior or even their equal in terms of financial earnings, education and career potential. A new study by the Pew Research Center shows that 1 out of 5 American women out-earn their husband and almost 1 in 3 is better educated.

The study uses mega-couple Jay-Z and Beyonce as its example. Jay-Z made an impressive 35 million last year, but still, Beyonce nearly tripled that figure, pulling in an estimated 87 million.

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The study goes on to say that marriage as a whole is an institution on the decline, particularly among African-Americans. While 62% of them between the ages of 30 and 44 were married in 1970, only 33% had tied the knot in 2007. In this case, the link between success and marriage is much more pronounced. One opinion in the ABC segment suggested that since Black women are attaining college degrees, climbing the corporate ladder and owning businesses more than ever before, the “number of comparable mates is slim.”

Its official, the home really is no longer the man’s castle; increasingly, its hers too.

What’s your opinion on this study?

To watch the ABC News segment go here.

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Hey Cupcakes!

It’s my duty to introduce you to new cultural happenings. Theater is not just Tyler Perry and Last Mama on the Couch plays. If you liked the sketch comedy of Dave Chapelle back in the days or Funny or Die-style parody then you’ll love AMERICAN CANDY. Their next shows are this Thursday January 15 and Friday January 16, 2010, links below.

AMERICAN CANDY is a New York City based sketch comedy troupe that I had the honor of seeing perform a few of times. Last month I invited the show’s creator Hollie Harper to kick off the inaugural night of my monthly reading and performance series Abiola’s Kiss and Tell LIVE with her insane tune, “My P*ssy’s on Fire.” Yeah, they’re crazy like that.

This is a great date idea– and guess what? The team has invited me to perform sketch comedy with them for a couple of shows this spring.

Check out my interview with playwright Hollie Harper…

ABIOLA ABRAMS: Hey love! So proud of you. Give us some background. What is AMERICAN CANDY?

HOLLIE HARPER: AMERICAN CANDY is crackalicious sketch comedy with naughty little songs.  We debuted at the Gotham Comedy Club in June 2009. Michael Pauley, artistic director of the Hyperion Theatre Company approached me about starting a new sketch comedy troupe to round out Hyperion’s roster.

ABIOLA: Crackalicious! Who’s involved?

HOLLIE: The troupe consists of 6 writer-directors and about 40 auditioned actors. Produced by me, the Creative Director and Patranila Jefferson. Choreographer, AC Jermyn; Composer, Jeff Joseph Jeudy. Along with me, writers include: Kevin Gilligan, Sherwin Smith, Joyce Turiskylie, Wilkie Cornelius and Keisha Zollar.

“For millions of black women, many blessed with brains and beauty, finding the right man is proven elusive. Are their standards to high or are the pickings to slim?”

ABC News “Nightline” did a piece on why so many successful Black women are single, and if they need to lower their standards in regards to requirements for finding a mate.  Some points raised during the show:

42% of black women have never been married, that’s doubled that of never married white women

There are 1.8 million more black women than black men

Take the available black men, eliminate those without a high school diploma, those without a job and the number of black men between the ages of 25-34 that are incarcerated that leaves only half of those black men that’s eligible to pop the question.

Watch the video:

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A Black girl says Tiger Woods told her to her face that he’s just not into black women. I’m not sure if Tiger actually said this out loud, not that he really needs to, the proof is out there… but check out what this woman had to say about Tiger not being into black women:

Tiger’s wife to give him the boot

Take a look at Tiger and his wife below:

Tiger Woods and his schizoprenia love condition

Hey Cupcakes,

A friend just sent me this short film called “Diary of An Angry Black Man.” Take a look and tell me what you think…

My Thoughts:

Good film — but does anyone wonder WHY these women are so angry?? What they’ve experienced? What they’ve gone through? No one is born angry, or starts out their lives that way.

And it’s ignorant to make blanket statements about any group, such as “angry black women.”  Isn’t the ex husband doing the same thing he’s kind of accusing the women of by letting his experience with his wife define his current choices and POV as “angry” and “tired?”

Find me on Twitter @AbiolaTV or AbiolaTV.com. Buy the novel Dare by Abiola Abrams wherever you buy books. Find Kiss and Tell News here. Oh- and if you’re in NYC, visit Abiola’s Kiss and Tell Live reading and performance series every third Tuesday beginning December 15th.

xoxo,

a.

Taye Diggs was introduced to us in 1998 as the sexy, adorable male lead opposite to Angela Bassett’s Stella in “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.” Before that he had a successful run on Broadway as Benjamin Coffin III, in “Rent.” Although he has been in many films including the Oscar winning, “Chicago” as Bandleader, when he tried to embark on being the lead in 2004 on the UPN show, “Kevin Hill,” the show was cancelled after only a few episodes. On “Kevin Hill” Diggs was an equal opportunity, exotic model chasing, playboy that unexpectedly found himself strapped with a baby to raise. Then there was the ABC drama “Day Break,” in 2006 where his love interest was Moon Bloodgood, a mixed race actress, this show was also cancelled after the first season. Many industry insiders have said that it is because Diggs left his base audience, Black women, and we did not want to see him on television week end and week out kissing a whole bunch of non-black girls.

Taye Diggs & Idina Menzel Welcome Baby Boy!

So the Hollywood Image Markers took note!! Present day, he plays the role of divorced Dr. Sam Bennett on ABC’s “Private Practice,” and all of his love interest including his ex-wife, Dr. Naomi Bennett played by Audra McDonald, have been black women. On last night’s episode of “Private Practice” Diggs’ character almost kissed Chandra Wilson’s, Dr. Miranda Bailey, who is the matriarch of “Grey’s Anatomy.” Dr. Bailey is not just the matriarch of “Grey’s” but she is the strong black, average looking, women that we all know and love.

We here at Hello Beautiful, have noticed the Re-branded of Taye Diggs. Those two characters even attepting to kiss sends the message that Diggs’ is not afraid of the quintessential ‘strong black women.’ Now, our theory will be confirmed if he shows up as a guest on “The Wendy Williams Show”, “The Monique Show” or “The Tyra Banks Show.”

Isiah Washington’s Getting Evicted

Take a look at Taye and his wife Idina:

Last year, I interviewed for the chief student affairs position at a Black women’s college in the South. During my interview, people kept asking me “why do you want to be here?” I knew that the seemingly-innocuous question obscured the one they really wanted to ask: “why do you—a Latino/Jewish man who will be seen as white down here and is also gay—want to work with and for Black women.” In my meeting with the all of my potential supervisees—all of them Black women—I told the group “you do not have to be a Black woman to care about and want to support Black women.” I commented that few people who looked like me had historically cared about Black women so I assumed there might be mistrust. In fact, men who looked like me had often been the source of great pain and oppression. However, I explained, that mistrust would not stop me from working on behalf of Black women.

Terrell Owens: I Love Black Women

I love Black women—personally, professionally and politically. I realize that this surprises many people. Some wonder if I am simply fetishizing Black women as sassy, “keepin’ it real” sistas, sort of a 21^st century Sapphire. Unfortunately, many gay men—white men particularly—love to conjure this stereotype when meeting Black women. Personally, Black women have played a critical role in my life. I have known too many Black women to ever pigeon-hole them. I know too well that Black women are as diverse than any other group. No, my love comes from a keen understanding of the role Black women have played in my life and in American history.

During my college career, it was a small group of Black women who helped me be comfortable with myself as someone with multiple subordinated identities. As a biracial gay man from a working-class background, I often felt schizophrenic in a society that could only see in one-dimensional terms. Most importantly, my friends helped me survive at a college where I was the only openly gay man on campus. These friends taught me how to hold my head high while walking through groups of people throwing slurs at me. These women introduced me to the work of Audre Lorde, bell hooks, and other Black feminists/womanists to help me work toward my own liberation by understanding the systems that oppressed me. These works helped me understand that I was not the problem, society was.

What Makes A Woman Beautiful?

Black women have also shaped how I see the world. Since college, I have been a student of Black feminism and womanism. `Black feminism` argues that sexism, classism, racism and other forms of oppression are inextricable from one another. Social change movements, including other forms of feminism, that only focus on single dimensions of identity will always exclude large groups of people it purports to help. Black feminists argue that the liberation of black women entails freedom for all people, since it would require the end of racism, sexism, and class oppression.

To read more about Chris MacDonald-Dennis’s love for Black women, click here!

This same man went on to declare that black women simply had too much attitude – on the bus, at work, in any given situation – just difficult and mean without cause or reason, especially the ugly ones.

A few years later he married a brown-skinned Dominican woman.

I’ve watched many black boys like me grow into men who exclusively date and many times marry whites, Latinos and other ethnicities that are not classically considered “black.” Some have been from the athlete set who are in many instances quietly “groomed” to pursue interracial relationships. Some have been artists who in their pursuit of life without restrictions refuse to be “tied down” to race and culture. But many have been outcasts – those in school who weren’t cool or cute enough, the kind that may have been a little on the chubby side, the ones who weren’t even considered when it came time to go to dances, parties or anything else social. I presume many in this last group might feel they had the last laugh considering the ongoing conversation African American women have today regarding the dearth of available “good black men.”

I was a member of the outcast set. Throughout most of my high school career, during the height of the eighties, I rocked a lopsided ‘fro and Coke-bottle glasses. I had crooked teeth which I hid from everyone by rarely smiling. All of this was attached to a slim body devoid of muscles. Be it snickers shared amongst friends or never being asked to any dances, the sisters made their distaste for me loud and clear.

Maturity has been kind to me. I shed most of my awkwardness as I grew up and as a Chicagoan who immersed myself completely in New York City life after grad school, I gained a savvy that allowed me to reinvent myself from the ground up. I’m happy to say this upgraded me had no axe to grind, no revenge to seek, no penalty to levy, nor any white women to flaunt in the face of my sisters. From my mother to my wife, I’ve never stopped loving the women I’ve always loved: black women…

To read the rest of this article, go to BlackandMarriedWithKids.com.

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