what about women with three or four kids!…………….

Not every single woman with children is looking for her baby – daddy we just need love and companionship like everyone else in the world.

i would like to meet a woman without kids. the ones i usually meet be having kids & no time for a relationship.

it’s not fair…b/c most men who have kids are not the primary care giver..or don’t care at all…
how is that our fault? Y down a women for being an outstanding mother. Like a close friend told me if some1′s interested they’ll accept your situation & wait patiently if I don’t always have the time.

I am a single mother with 1 kid and I do not have a problem finding a man who is willing to accept me and my son. I feel that men need to be more selective when it comes to a woman with more than one kid. But it also depends on whether the woman has plans for her future and her way of living. Because choosing to commit to a woman with a child is not always a bad decision.

It’s like this:

If he can’t appreciate you for who you are in the wonderful splendor that is you, whether you have kids or NOT….

To hell with him! Tell him to kick rocks!

you have to look at taht because she may not be over her baby father it’s alot of s**t you have to look @ how she been raising her children because you have alot of children that love getting in grown peoples s**t and that’s not good so it’s takes alot of s**t elements to make a relelationship work, in most case that i see i been their with women that have kids i don’t have none but i was use down to the bone but that history you move on and on one not i conclude it’s alot of women & men out her that are making it hard for alot of other women & men

I have one child for and I must admit it is fustrating and difficult to find a man who can be just that and not an additional child. Companionship is all that I ask for being a single parent. For those men who don’t know a bond opens doors, and women who enjoy the bond being made with a real good dude will make time; to encourage the relationship to become stronger. Until then I rather be lonely than alone with someone. Men and women reading this do me a favor and know your worth.

WOW This article is very intresting….. because I just got out of a relationship with the father of my child and now I’m single and I’m hearing this…. don’t look good at all lol but seriously why do dudes feel like this? I got my own house own car and got my stuff together so just because I have a son they don’t give me a second thought…….. To me that is not right and I don’t need a “replacement” for my son he has a daddy that takes good care of him. Every good women knows that real men don’t care about stuff like this.

i know he didn’t say bastard child. i wouldn’t want that nigga in my life even if i did or didn’t have kids, just so he can disrespect them and i, and call them BASTARDS. who wants his smogg ass anyway. single mothers already have hard. they can always do better.

I JUST ASKED MY FIANCE THE SAME THING . BUT I SWITCHED IT AROUND ..AND SAID WHAT IF ITS ME ….WOULD YOU STILL MARRY ME IF I HAD 4 KIDS AND 2 BABY DADDYS. HE WAS LIKE OMG…NO THEN I BROKE IT DOWN TO HIM NOW HES SAYIN YES …IF I FEEL THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT U NOW YES I WOULD…!! =]

This is foolish it doesnt matter if the woman has one or two kids or not, if she is a good woman, then its cool, Thats just some men with kids double standard or insecurities. Just because a woman has a child doesnt mean she still wants the baby daddy , and the baby daddy still might be in the picture, so it doesnt always mean she looking for a replacement father. Love is love, kid or not.
Now i wold also say if a woman got a spoiled azz kid then run the other way , and women be careful who you introduce your kids too, if you are dating someone it is not cool for you or your kid, to be meeting all the people you are dating, they only need to meet the kid once the relationship is serious, but the man should know that you do have a kid

Apparently dude in the story aint that smart, because if here were, he wouldnt have said something as ignorant as that.

There is nothing wrong with dating a woman with children. The problem comes in IF the woman isnt being upfront and honest with you about her situation with the childrens father. SOME (not all) women may still be in and out with the childrens father and then you may have some clown who only comes around when he see’s the woman moving on with her life and come starting trouble. No one really wants to deal with that drama. But like i said, this isnt the situation for ALL circ**stances.

If the situation was right, i dont see any problem with dating a sista with children. Anyone who wont date a woman simply because she has a child is probably a selfish person anyway and you probably would do better without them in your life.

THIS IS A F**KED UP STORY FOR BP TO POST, I AM A SINGLE MOTHER WHOS HUSBAND WAS KILLED BEFOR HE EVEN GOT TO KNOW THAT I WAS CARING A BEAUTIFUL CHILD, I DONT CONSIDER MY SON TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN A GIFT FROM GOD TO ME TO CONTINUE MY LIFE AND HIS. YOU ARE A F**KED UP PERSON TO WRITE AND POST THIS STORY. SO FROM ALL US GOOD SINGLE MOTHERS F**K YOU AND THE BP PEOPLE WHO POSTED THIS STORY.

I have nothing against single moms. That is what I mostly date. But women with kids present lots of challenges. Single moms need to compromise, because there arent many men that want to deal with her kids when they arent even his. i find that a lot of single moms dont make it easy for us men dating them.

Well I am A single man with no kids and I want a family of my own, would I date a Woman with kids already have done it It is ok if u don’t accept a woman’s child u are not accepting her but what if she don’t want any more kids? what about me now if she can have more childeren because of medical reasons ok but A flat out no I can’t do it.

I feel that many people who have children don’t anticipate on having to be single after being united with the child’s other parent; but sometimes things don’t go as planned, and parents are left single. EPIPHANY

Well im a woman with no kids and a man with kids is out of the question for me.

Hmmmmm?

I think it really depends on what you’re looking for AND how you find it. If I saw a woman and fell for her right there on the spot and got to learn she’s as beautiful on the outside as on the inside, I don’t think I’d care (too much) how many kids she already has.

But women, you’ve got to understand that while your kid is a blessing/bundle of joy/raison d’etre, that is for you. For me, it is a handicap. It is baggage. If I see you, I think you’re hot etc and want to get to know you, I have to take that into consideration. It’s just like if you met a divorced man, or a guy who’s out of work (even if it’s just temporary).

I’ve dated women with kids before (and we’re still close) but I’ve always known at the back of my mind that I’ve got to be more careful with them than with other kids. It is a responsibility to be that guy that enters a kid’s life, takes him/her out and gives their life some sense of stability. You might not think it’s a big deal, but it is.

So if I’m going to make that step, put myself in that position, you’ve got to be worth it. To Me.

Besides, y’all say ‘oh, i’ve got my own house, my own car, a job etc so what’s the problem?’ Well, I could just as well find someone who’s got all of that AND doesn’t have kids.

Finally, we KNOW fully well that we’d never be #1 in your lives, you tell us ALL the time on your page (and seriously if there was any reason why I would not date any single mom, it would be that. Does the first thing you say have to be, “You will never be #1 in my life”? We kind of already know that) and we have to make our peace with that. YOU would think twice before putting yourself in that position right?

Anyway, there’s someone for everyone. Just have to be patient and keep doing you.

I can accept a woman who has one child. Because shyt happens basically. But a woman who’s around my age with multiple kids is outta the question for me. I’m not ready for all of that.

there’s plenty of men out there w/o kids, and plenty of nice women out there without kids. they should search harder b/c it seems as if they’re missing each other. if they’re over 30ish….and still looking for someone without kids…man or woman….it gets harder at some point. most ppl with kids (me) tend to meet others with kids.

I believe this article misses the conclusion and the point the writer was trying to make was not made, so i won’t comment

It should matter whether a baby is involved because you you feeling that person the way you say you do then why not build around that

There are great women out there with kids. In the end this boils down to personal preference and what we accept/expect out of a relationship. I for one and 26, single, educated, and child free. Is it wrong that I prefer the same in a partner? I think there’s way too much demonizing of men who prefer women with no kids as if their is something wrong with them and they need to be “convinced” of the error of their ways. Please. I also take issue with the “double standard” idea the author mentions. I don’t believe this double standard is as big as she is making it seem as I know several succesful women without children who also prefer men with no kids. At the end of the day to each his/her own but lets respect each others preferences.

I see what yall saying but I am 21…. and doin VERY well for myself, but can’t find a man with out a kid….!!!! It’s not only the women… met a guy he was 26… with 6 kids…. OOOO NOOO…. I sure ran in the OTHER direction!!!

Here it is, I am single with no kids and pretty stable.The problem with a woman with a kid or kids is, she comes with baggage one way or the other.No man wants to deal with a woman who is connected to another man for life,who is not her father.As a single man I come to the table with no kids.THERE IS NO PACKAGE DEAL that is the difference.I have tried in the past and I felt like I was locked down because we couldnt do spontaneous things together, like go out to dinner “alone” on the fly.She had to call around and see if someone could watch the kid “on the fly” which always eluded to “you should have called me earlier”.Or the nights when watching a movie she gets a call from the father and they get to arguing and in turn ruin our night..Screw that.Women also like to use “god” as a crutch, like “how do u know god isnt doing this or that?” Well, Richard Kuklinsky (The Iceman) “Once gave a man 30 minutes to pray to god (who was “please goddin all over the place”) and told him,”if god could come down and change his circ**stances he could have that time,but god never showed up..An he never changed the circ**stances,and that was that”.

is there some unwritten rule saying that u cannot?
I guess this article was only generated to get feedback in opinions.

If you are selecting a mate on the basis of if she has kids or not, then you are missing out on alot.

***All these men who have no kids…you once came FROM a woman. How would you feel if your mother was a single mom and a man judged her for having YOU?

***In addition, there are more things to be concerned with – is the woman stable? Has a career? Independent? Spiritual? These are the qualities that a man should look in any woman.

***The shame should come on the man who failed to make the relationship work with the mother of his child, not on the woman.

Ladies – if you have kids and a man judges you on that….tell him to kick rocks. He is shallow, selfish, insecure…and would probably be another disappointment.

******Remember, Karma is very real. Dont get mad when you dismiss good single mothers and end up with a chick who has your baby….and then you find out years later that its not even yours (for example).

Ummmmm, not all women with children are looking for a baby daddy, so all the men who think that need to GET OVER THEMSELVES. I adopted my daughter as a single woman, because I wanted another child, not to use her a net to catch a man, or a repellant for that matter. I have MY OWN and do not need a man to come and rescue me and my child. Now, with that being said, if I meet a nice man who would like to take on the role of FATHER I wouldn’t be opposed, but you can bet your bottom dollar he has to PROVE he’s worthy to be a father to my child, not just a baby daddy.

I didnt even read MSG’s comment at first…and still I only read the first few lines of what he wrote, I’ll jus say he doesnt speak for me.

I will say tho, it is very rare to encounter a woman that does NOT have children these days…still not a big issue, however too many kids is a bit much for myself…..we could be cool friends tho, lol

People can be very arrogant and obtuse. I personally believe that whatever basis a person uses to choose a mate is his or her right. If a woman wants a man with certain characteristics and possessions, who am I to say she is wrong?
Men are more used to ‘criteria’. Go to any woman’s page where she lists what she’s looking for and you find a list a mile long. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that but when the tables are turned all of a sudden, men are this and that etc.

I think it all comes down to self-confidence. If you feel you deserve a man with “a good job, 5″10 and up, great smile,good relationship with God, that can make you smile/laugh, is packing (wink wink), can afford to surprise you with romantic trips (even though you can afford it yourself but you like to have a man that can do it) etcetera, then by God if I want a woman who’s not a single mother, I don’t see what the problem is!

I am a single mother of one, and I really don’t have a problem finding guys to date. The men that I meet know that i am a good woman and that’s all that matters. Now the lil “punk ass men” are the ones who have the issues. It’s usually the selfish, controlling, INSECURE ones. I love my son and my son is VERY well behaved and respectful so I’ve never come across a man that didn’t like him. Also, I see no problem dating a man with kids. My son’s father already had a son before we got together and it didn’t bother me at all. Why…..? Because he had a life BEFORE he met me, and I’m adult enough to realize and understand that. Now if you ever come across a man that would call your child a “bastard” then you run for your life because homeboy has got some issues. REAL MEN don’t let this bother them. And for the REAL MEN who just prefer a woman with no kids. I understand completely. You have every right to find what it is you want in life and more power to ya. As for me and my lil’ man we’ll be AIGHT.

I have found that a lot of men I meet are SO surprised I do not have kids, they become suspicious and LOOK for something to be “wrong” with me! I have seen plenty of women with children from previous relationships get married or settle down in a committed relationship.

I HAVE NO KIDS AND I PREFER A MAN WITHOUT KIDS AS WELL
FOR SEVERAL REASONS…FIRST OF ALL I DO NOT WANT TO BE SOMEONES SECOND BABY MAMA AND DEFINATELY NOT THEIR THIRD OR FOURTH…YALL CAN SIT THERE AND DENY IT ALL YOU WANT BUT YOUR FIRST CHILD IS ALWAYS THE MOST SPECIAL…THUS THE REASON I WANT TO BE HIS FIRST AND PREFERABLY ONLY
AND SECOND HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW THAT ARE STILL F**KIN’ THEIR KIDS MOM?? THERE ARE A TON OF MEN WHO ARE STILL INVOLVED WITH THEIR BABY MAMAS AND CHEAT ON THEIR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY STILL HOLD THAT SPECIAL BOND…AND BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO SEE THEM TO SEE THEIR KID
AND EVEN WORSE IS IF THE KID ACTUALLY LIVES WITH HIM…THEN HE WILL HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO TIME FOR ME…ALWAYS GOTTA FIND A BABY SITTER..CAN’T GO BACK TO HIS PLACE TO DO THE DAMN THING..BLAH BLAH BLAH
AND YET ANOTHER REASON IS BECAUSE I JUST DON’T WANT A GUY WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN THERE DONE THAT…I DON’T WANT A READY MADE FAMILY I DON’T WANT TO PLAY A MOTHER ROLE BEFORE I GIVE BIRTH MYSELF
SEE MY COUSIN DID THAT RECENTLY SHE JUST HAD A BABY BY A GUY WHO ALREADY HAS 3 KIDS BY TWO OTHER WOMEN…AND NOW SHE’S COMPLAINING BECAUSE HE’S NOT THE DOTING FATHER SHE WISHES HE WOULD BE…WHY? BECAUSE HE’S BEEEN THERE DONE THAT WITH TWO OTHER WOMEN!
CASE AND POINT
NOW I’M NOT SAYING THERE AREN’T EXCEPTIONS…BUT IT WOULD TAKE A RARE CASE

you know what i am single and a mother of one.!
i could care fuccin’ less if you dnt like that the fact i have a child.!
it happened so it’s my choice t2 keep her
and if you cnt deal with the things that comes
with dating a babymother
then o well.!
cuz i plz. t2 be someones mother
and your missing out on sumbody that’s totally great.!

How come articles about men who take care of other men’s kids, and who don’t run away from women with kids never appear in magazines as much as the negative kind??? How come single men with kids are hardly ever mentioned? How about women who won’t date men with kids? This is so STEREOTYPICAL.

And another thing, all you selfish b***hes out there who won’t deal with a man with kids (even if he’s a good man), I bet that most of y’all were raised by people other than your own parents. Now that you are doing better, y’all don’t wanna give nothing back. That’s so tired. You want the perfect man and the perfect relationship that’s all about YOU, but you don’t want to have to do any work. That’s probably why some of y’all wind up with such s**tty men.

i usualy dont trip if they have kids but it depends on the mother far as me deciding if the relationship is worth persuing or not…..

Some woman out there do sleep with there child father’s! But once it is over (in my book) nothing else is jumping off! MY son is seven and i aint seen my bf p***s since we made him! Real talk!

i can understand not wanting to date someone because they have a child. and quite honestly if the guy is trying to run away from that maybe he insist the guy for that woman. because when dating a woman with a child u have to understand that once you are committed to her your committed to her children to. u cant think that you can have her without having her children to. its like a package. an iv lived it. my mother does have a boyfriend an they been together for 10 years now he meet her with me and my older sister an hes been in my life just as long as they have been together. hes a good guy. a lot of times i don’t think he knows how 2 deal with me an my sister but he does try.

As a single mother with a child it’s very hard to date and find a guy wiling to look pass having a child. However I know that God will place the right man in me and my childs life. So single parents don’t trip if you can’t get that guy or gal they probally are not what you want around your kiddys anyways.

i must say that can work both ways i am a single woman and I don’t have any children. i must say that i don’t mind if a man has children but i do have a problem when a man allows his baby mother run our relationship just because he has a child with her and she feels that he should be at her call not the childs but her call all i am say is that if you have children and are dating has a good handle on your situation and if a person does not want to date you because you have a child you don’t need them find a good person that will love you and your child.

it all depends i mean you not trying to wifey every chick you meet so you really shouldnt even be meeting or dealing with her kids… i have a child and i’m not with the mom and i know she may date but i dont want every loose nigga she meet, meeting my son to get out of here! i mean if you going to deal on sum long term s**t and cant deal with the kids then f**k it dont deal with the mom…

you cant wife a lady with a baby bcuz its too many problems unless the man can handle the problems lol

In my opinion, a lot of men cant do it for this one simple fact, “Not Ready” when dealing with a woman with a child as a man you have to accept that child you cant be apart of that womans life without embracing that child, you can’t treat the child as an outcast and act like they dont exist, if your serious about the relationship your going to have to be that positive male model for that child to see, and alot of men are just not ready to take on that role and that why they date women with children

I’d say it depends on the person. If you aren’t mature enough to handle the situation don’t even get yourself into it. I dont have any kids and although I dont mind a man that does, I would much rather not deal with the drama. Drama goes both ways.

only if there grown and outta the house,and i mean waaaayyyyy outta the house,not around the corner at big mommas house but in another state or state pen.where most of the little tykes in up any how.

my comment on this situation is that it can enrich your life tremendously, I was married to a woman with kids already, ages 5 and 8 when I met her, they were two girls, I am now there real daddy, daa or just David, what I got out of the situation was to learn responsibility and love beyond all things, the ladies are now grown and even though I left the mother I never left them, and we still have a great relationship, I see them at lunches and dinners or whenever we decide to get together, their fathers were not an issue with me as I asked my then wife what she would do early in the relationship if one of them came back, and for 13 yrs I had no drama with either father so being with a woman with kids is not a bad thing try it out just don’t get to the kids to get to the mom they are kinda smart about that old stunt

first off boys run from women with children.. a real man can handle any thing that he wants to handle. Just because he chooses not to date her because she has a child or too many children does not make him less of a man. But, there are some things to consider, (1) how many kids does he has? (2) how many kids does she has and how many fathers, cause too many attitudes can be bad. (3) ages of the childern, or they respectful childern, or they spoiled kids (need a butt whipping), do the kids have any special needs. (4) is she a good mother and is she maintaining/holding it down before i get there. From there we as MEN can decide how much of a man we are or have to be for this lady. When we meet a female we have know the kids are part of the package. We can not be selfish and come around with one soft drink and one burger or a KFC 2 piece, while her and the children are hungy. We can not only buy ourself an outfit, but see her children need some shoes or clothing (not that she asked for it). Key words here is “SEE.” So to sum it up I add it up from the moment we meet, can I afford this for me, her, and 1,2,3, or ect. Cause a real man is going to take care of what’s his, his household and all that is within in that household regardless if their real daddy helps out or not. Because no body forces a REAL MAN to do any thing he does not want to do.

I would love a guy to be able to deal with me and my children and grandchildren. But so far, none have been worthy. I dont want a man just 4 sex. I can get that at any spot. its not necessary. And I won’t date just to get comfy enough to get sex. Too many Adult Toy stores to fix that problem. Fake Men are easily replaced. I am looking for a real man. I don’t like the idea of a man trying to tell me how to raise my kids. I have done that. I have had some guys try to tell me how to raise my kids but they r Teens. I am basically done. My kids are respectful and do most of the work. My grand kids are really the ones i need help with but there again my children take all that responsibility except potty training. So I guess i would need someone to keep me happy. I got the kids done. I don’t havebaby daddy drama never have. He pays and thats his responsibility. Nothing more. I got the kids n he got the bills. His choice. But I now understand a lot of guys thoughts. My male friends helped and have been happier for it.

I THINK IT IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A MAN OR FEMALE GETTING MARRIED BEACAUSE THEY HAVE KIDS. BEFORE YOU GOT IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNEW HE/SHE HAD KIDS SO THAT SHOULDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. BESIDES IF YOU REALLY LOVED THAT PERSON IT SHOULD MATTER YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD IN WIFE THEM. IN ME PERSONALLY ITS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT AS LONG AS YOU TREAT THE KIDS HOW YOU TREAT YOURS.

I’m going to be veryyyyyyyyyyyyy honest on this issue since I have dealt with it before a number of time. I’m speaking from the point of a successful black man with everything going for himself, and I do mean everything. But some women are bitter, sour, too much baggage. Women with children all seem to do this thing where when a black man does not want to marry you because you have a few kids with other man they say your not worthy are not good enough, are always something negative. When truth be told. A women with kids normally will not let you discipline the kids properly, will not really let you be the father 100 percent of the time. Always a type of unneeded connection with the father of the child and I don’t mean sexually its just something that I don’t’ prefer to deal with. IT’s very funny how a women wants you to come and be her man, but you can’t speak on your thoughts on how the children should be raised. And the attitude of the is so far out there from all the drama she normally has to go through it’s a total pain trying to explain to her that you don’t want to hurt her, steal from her, are anything negative, you just want to be a father to the kids.

Most men don’t want women with kids for a number of reasons. If the father is still in their lives their will definetly be drama and no one wants to deal with that. Not all women with kids are looking for a new baby daddy but most of them are more serious about settling down and getting married. Children have a way of making some people grow up. Women with children will have less time to spend with her man and less money as well.

I’m married but if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have a problem dating a woman with a child. I look at a woman’s character and if she doesn’t take care of her child she won’t take care of a household. Two and Three children may be a problem because that’s a ready made family and I would probably pass on that. I would probably pass on the relationship if they are pass a toddlers age especially teenagers.

Yes there is a double standard but the world isn’t fair.

I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with a single mother. But I would prefer a woman with no kids because I have no kids.

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