if they stop thinking they have p***sis

PLEASE black men and women….lets not allow Hello Bullshyt to have us ALL beefin about this topic…There are HUNDREDS of reasons why 42% of black women are single….I just googled this study of women period before I posted here and there are 59% of hispanic women single, 38% of white women are single and 31% of asian women are single…So we are ALL floating in the same boat for the most part. It really makes me wonder why BLACK planet ALWAYS does its BEST to have black men and women at each other’s throats about our own race relations…This is just going to open the door for all the other races on here to step in and tell US what we need to do about OURSELVES and that really pi*sses me off…So please, I say again lets NOT GO THERE WITH EACH OTHER!!

Steve harvey couldnt say it no better at about 2:42,and alot of the black women these days(not all just some of the ones I run across) act to stuck up that you dont even wanna be bothered with them

CaliFemme23, I co-sign with you TO THE FULLEST! Thanks luv :) . I am glad you did the research because I did not (and was not going to) burn the little energy I have left on this PERPETUAL CYCLE OF BULLSH!T intended to make black women appear inferior, less desirable, and inadequate as women/individuals. HB, enough already (smh)!!!

HMMM THIS IS REALLY INTRESTING (COMMENTS INCLUDED)…I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT BLACKWOMEN ARE THE MOST DESIRABLE WOMEN ON THE EARTH….WHAT I HAVE SEEN IS AN INCREASE IN THE PUBLIC OF BLACK WOMEN AND WHITE MEN.. IM NOT TALKING ABOUT IN THE STREETS OR THE CITYS BUT THERE TO. IM TALKING ABOUT ON TV AND MOVIES ALSO…TO ME ITS A PLOT TO KEEP US(BLACKWOMEN AND BLACKMEN) FROM COMING TOGETHER…NOW THE BLACK WOMEN IM LOOKING FOR ROCKS AFROS, DREADS OR LOWCUTS…SHE HAS GOLD TEETHS(8 OR MORE FRONTS)AND SHE HAS A MASTERS OR DOC… SHORTY HOLLA……AT YOUR BOY…

LMAO@hellobullshyt! God Bless this site…

There’s been a plot to keep black men and woman apart, who ever doesn’t know that is brain dead. I hope in 2010 I can see a rise of concious african sistas speaking up !!

Out of the 1.8 million single Ladies, how many have kids? I dont have any and I prefer a woman who doesnt have any. I do not want a ready made family.

Thank you @ my girl Shamel(no, she and I are NOT lesbians, we just cool..lol) and handsomeblk_NYC….Don’t let these articles have us bashing and bangin on each other because we are all not the same, we all have great things to offer in life, and there are azzholes in every race of women/men. It angers me that BLACK planet does this to US all the time, and we always bite into it and talk trash at each other and point out flaws…I have met, worked with, and was raised by GREAT black men all around me…I hope we can all focus on those men and I hope our black men can do the same for us…

LOL. Women are confused. PERIOD. That’s why so many are single. WOMEN…Not just black women. Some of it MIGHT be on the men…but the ones that are single generally only see things one way and ignore THEIR real issues. Take a look in the mirror Ladies…be true to yourself. Dont expect us to be honest when you look in the mirror and lie to yourself everyday.

cuz sometimes we’re b***hes

OK well why not just date whatever man that is good or at least good for you. Since there are more black women than black men and alot of black men date outside their race why not follow suite? I love dating outside my race and I would not mind marrying a woman no matter what she is as long as she was a good and decent woman. I have dated many black women and alot of times I was the first man they dated outside their race. Ladies maybe you should open up your eyes a little more and take a full look around. ;)

@ Califemme23 no bashing on my part, although I do feel what you ‘re saying about every one not being the same . I love my african sistas, never in my life have I desired to date out side my race. For the past 10 plus years I have obtained much knowlegde as to who I am as an african man and on my race. I no longer think within the box any more, my concious level is way out there ! and because my concious level is so high it has become a problem communicating with african sistas that I come across on an intellectual level because they have not been fortunate enough to come across the knowlegde I have. I don’t want to dumb my self down just to chill or be with some one. Lack of knowlegde is just not kool any more in my opinion cause the info is out there it’s not hidden.

My honest opinion about this is that black women and black men don’t get along because of their very own standards. Why the hell do things to cause separation in our own race? I have no qualms about interracial dating but the fact is that you have a better chance of relating to your own race. What bugs me is the double standard that women, in general, seem to apply to men. Then some black women can’t even be happy if their man is faithful and they critique based on some superficial bulls**t. The diva/boojie attitude in many women needs to be put to rest and men need to stop cheating on their women. But advice like this can go unheeded simply because people want to hang on to destructive behavior that harms their chances to find love. Smh.

N.S. Ugezene

http://stores.lulu.com/NSUgezene

Speaking for myself, and a few of my experiences i know im single because:

where i live all the black men want the spanish, and foreign women..

They hate it when i know more than they think i do..

Im not taking care of them [[I DO NOT && WiiLL NEVER BUY DYKK!!]]

I dont fukk him right away or i dont fukk his homeboys…

I dont wanna be his sideline bytch…

He dont give me as much of his TIME as i want..

AND I REFUSE TO SETTLE FER LESS CUZ ii KNOW ii DESERVE THA BEST!!! :)

AND THAT FOLKSz iS WHY iiM SiiNGLE, AND ii THiiNK ii”LL BE THAT WAY FOR A WHiiLE…

I AGREE WITH YOU handsomeblk_NYC. A LOT OF PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS.

amazing.

please my people we all we got.
lets not buy into this sure we all have our problems and we could start pointing fingers in any direction, but we have to face the fact that we are each others keepers. this is a plot to dehumanize our race and to emasculate our men. we have got to learn to stick up for each other regardless. we got to learn how to compliment each other, how to encourage each other. i spoke to a couple of guys asked them this same question and the feeling ran mutual, that black women treat black men like s**t and so they just go date other races to avoid dealing with their negetive attitudes, or black women act too stank and to not deal with them they rather walk away from the situation married or not,or that they are single black men who prefer dating black men but refuse to marry them, cause once u marry them all hell breaks loose, or single black men just been hurt so much by them they just said f**k it and wanna stay single and away fron them AMAP.

which is cool but what about our children, what about supporting or maintaining the family unit, our spirituality and belief in god. i dont believe all black women are bad because we have birthed a nation of beautiful and intelligent, strong and affluent men in society.

fellas its because we have always had to be the ones to fight, sure we nag and complain but if the weight was being shared we wouldnt have too so much. learn how to love your women and all their features of diversity every shape, size, opinion, flaws and all encouraage them nurture them old and young, put positive images out there for our children to follow teach our young boys to be responsible, respectful youth and our youth to be warm intelligent men who command respect by respecting their queens stop slandering and putting your women down…

women let us learn how to compliment our men and how to embrace them, they go through so much already for the color of their skin they sure dont need it on the home front. sure they are not all good but if we could birth them we could birth the good in them with some patience and elbow grease we could make it work. being independent is good but dont fly so high you forget how to soar. love them please and love your selves, learn to empower them treat them like the kings they are bull s**t and all flaws and all they look to us for strength.

and please yall think about our children who will teach our boys to be men and to attain to higher things and who willl teach our girls to be women to love and respect our men and to create wonderful family units. please we both have problems male and female but we could choose to fight with each other or fight for each other. let the father above teach us how to love each other….RESPECT its that simple…

@ oOoMiiSSzUNiiQUEoOo, I was dying laughing at your post because that “JUST ABOUT” summarizes my reasons for being single. I have learned to be CONTENT (emphasis on content) with being single and working on PERFECTING SHAMEL!!! Ya gotta love yourself first before you can love any man ;) . I am first to admit there are some amazing brotha’s out there. I am patient enough to wait my turn. handsomeblk_NYC, I feel where you are coming from as well. Too many Bone-quisha’s and Key-lolo’s will do that to you (LMAO)! I am in a jovial mood today! But all jokes aside….MANY people are intimidated by intelligence. I embrace it. Nothing more beautiful to me than a man that can “TEACH” me something for a change. Love an intellectualist. Knowledge is food for the mind. This is why I like blogging and reading posts so much. A sista is thirsty!!!!

handsomeblk_NYC…Oh my fault if you thought I was coming at you wrong…I was actually thanking you for your comment earlier…I agree with everything you had to say and appreciate black men like you who do believe you can find good black women out there.

I see the ‘bashing’ has started regardless of the EVIDENT intent of this news article’s purpose. PEOPLE! This article was not meant to clarify or explain the black woman’s plight or perceptions..It is JUST ANOTHER way for US to be belittled and for US black men/women to put each other down! If this article was truly aimed at getting to the bottom of why there are so many single women in the world….then they would have included ALL races clearly because this site has ALL races on it. Do you all get it? They intentionally DIG at black people on here! They LOVE to see us curse at each other, name call and break further apart….Have some sense folks…Just because the stage is set does not mean we have to perform…

Aren’t all the other races pretty much around in the same statistic? Why are these frackers always focusing on black people. I guess just another agenda to push us apart huh, with their “there’s no good black men left” campaign ad, and what’s worst is that people are really falling for that sh*t.

THANK YOU@ dragonbirde…you ALWAYS hit the nail on the head…Im glad someone else sees/recognizes this horrible tactic!

the reason the single rate is so high is that we americans has let political correctness invade our lives.Men these days are afraid to approach women not because they are afraid of women no it is because they do not want to catch a sexual harrsment case.( espc, at the work place). and I agree completly with lega95,some of you sistas be acting like your stuff is brand new and that you are too good to date a man that only has a high school diploma or either you sizing the man up trying to figure out how much money they make.And a lot of of you sistas are shallow expecting everyman to look like an actor off a tyler perry play.The man that god has made for you might not look like a action figure,and ladies if the brother is willing to get his ass up and go to work everday and do not have a record and handle business and seem like abrother that will treat a woman right does other worldly things matter? this ??? is for my independant women not the golddiggers.

They’re single because most brothas aren’t professional athletes and rappers. I am being a little facetious there but there is some truth to that. It’s not even about “lowering standards”, it’s just about being realistic! Women in general, not just black women be carrying excessive baggage these days before the age of 25, and just expect a brotha to overlook that. Hell, having 2 or 3 kids out of wedlock just may cause a woman to be single. A.) She’s really too busy to be in a relationship being a single mom B.) The type of brotha she wants isn’t trying to mess with a woman with kids and he has too many options to settle for less. Just using BP as a microcosm, I would say a good majority of “single” black women on here state they are just looking for “friends”. Let a brotha say such a thing and eye brows will raise. Sometimes in life you get what you ask for whether directly or indirectly. And brothas out there need to step up too. Stop impregnating these jump offs, get an education beyond the 12th grade, and cease with that “down low” bull sh*t.

Has it occured to ANYONE that some maybe even MOST of these 42% of single women just might CHOOSE to be single because they want to? What if they arent black man bashing, gold digging, stuck up etc…A few years back when I was in college, I didnt date or try to get into a relationship because I was ALL IN for school…schedule was crazy, always tired from work and school among other duties I had, so I was SINGLE by choice! I never once knocked on black men for this or that…
See thats what im talking about with these p*iss poor azz topics. They never even ONCE actually broke down WHY these black women are single. Did they even attempt to do a survey/study on the reasons why each and every one is single? I KNOW! They threw a dried up azz bone on the ground and HOPE WE will start to chew on it. They are so diluted and empty. And it takes an INTELLIGENT person to NOT latch onto the nit picking and shyt starting this story will most definately insight amongst US. SO you guys just sit back and wait for all the white,hispanic,asian men and women to come on in and tell US black women WHY we are ‘losing our men to them’ and tell US to step up game to keep black men etc….Instead of ONE person thinking about the low class of this article and NOT biting into it.

ahhhh hell HB here we go again *smh*

@ Swagger2BagHer I AGREE WITH YOU ALOT OF MEN ON THE D.L TOO BUT LIKE I SAID IN MY COMMENT, WE ALL WE GOT REGARDLESS , THIS IS MINDLESS PROPAGANDA-

I’m tired of this propoganda that attempts to pit Black men and women against each other. There’s plenty of single Black men and women including me. Why do Black people keeping feeding into stats and research that’s not even done by our own race. HB is up to it’s tricks again. Y’all love to keep up bs as usual.

Funny Funny Funny….has nothing to do with men on DL, has nothing to do with propoganda.

Half of black women are a part of the bitter black women club. They’ve been done wrong a couple of times and they carry that anger over and apply it to EVERY MAN they come across. Thats why. And 42% is probably lower than the actual number. There are a lot of black women who THINK they’re in a relationship but really are not. BUT in the end, it’ll be the black male’s fault. I personally dont have any kids and will not have any until im married. Ive never been locked up and Im working on a masters degree. There are thousands of us in every city so a shortage of men or all of being in jail is not the reason….black women just have bad taste in men. Point blank PERIOD.

You cant complain about men until you get better taste in men. So in conclusion, there are tons of single black women because 1.The less than 1% of the male population that they have dated had done them wrong so they make the other 99% of us pay for it. 2.They ALWAYS blame the issue on black men and NEVER look at themselves and 3.They just have horrible taste in men. Cant blame all black men because you keep picking the thug with no job.

@Calm_Cool_Collect.

Bravo, excellent rebuttal of the myths.

Dont forget 70% of black women are overweight. That might be part of the problem.

WestsideCartelAtl85/mzsupa_thick1…Thank you my intelligent black people! These stats arent even representative of ALL of the black race of women by far. But yet I see there are STILL those of us that are buying into this mess!

Calm_cool_collect/Swagger2BagHer…Let me give you a little more insight into this article if you dont mind…These studies were done at Wisconsin State back in 2007, this particular college has the 2nd LOWEST ratio of BLACK women attending, this article is Bullshyt because they conducted the study based upon college girls number one, aged between 19-24 years old, and I would bet anything that half of them are single because THEY ARE FOCUSED ON SCHOOL and creating their lives right now. This study does NOT include women who have careers,homes,college grads etc…and it is really easy to say that 42% of these women are single when there are only what…maybe 200 or LESS black women in attendance!
This entire video of the program was done by ABC Nightline…a media network owned and operated by WHITE PEOPLE, people who know NOTHING about US! How can we allow them to set us up to be at each others throats like this?

You know, if you start off with 1.8 more women than men, and then eliminate men because they didn’t finish high school or don’t have jobs, of course you’re going to end up with way more eligible women than me. Funny how they didn’t consider eliminating women without jobs or diplomas. I suppose that wouldn’t've helped their numbers very much, huh? I’m sure my father would be kinda intrigued by these numbers. He hadn’t finished high school when he and my mother married. So, yeah, their 15 years of marriage is a sham, huh? Dammit, this site comes up with some bs sometimes!!!

I had the same reaction “here we go again!” These “reports” do nothing to help black women- it only hurts us even more.

But I do have to add that Steve Harvey said something so on point- get with older men because they DON’T have a biological clock- hello! Older men also are just more calm and let’s face it, mature. They’re too old to act like they did in their twenties, lol, yet not too old to be great companions and great lovers still. This was some excellent advice, and I doubt seriously those women even really heard it. You can tell by their expressions and responses after he said it.

As a 22 year old black man, who has graduated from college, pursuing my Master’s degree, employed, never married, nor fathered any kids and lives here in Atlanta, this piece sorta hits the nail on the head. I agree that there are very few black men that are doing things with themselves, but on the other hand women here are picky as all hell. 2 years ago I weighed 355lbs and couldn’t get a second, now I weigh 195lbs, I have women coming out of the wood works, why is that? Because in my opinion, black women are so shallow to look beyond the outside. We are all going to age and our skin will become wrinkled, women your breast will drop, that tight booty won’t be so tight anymore and etc. People fail to communicate anymore. Communication is the key, well one of the key’s to a successful relationship. Like the lady said in the video, he man must be 6′ +, why is that? That’s where some of the problem is, physically requirements. People need to look beyond the surface, because basically what you are doing is judging a book by it’s cover and that’s a serious no-no! It’s ok to have a type because I prefer plus size women over the model type chick, but yet again I must open my eyes to other women of all sizes and races. Never dated outside my race, but as I get older and more educated the pickings of Black women are getting smaller and smaller. Can’t seem to find a woman around my age, who isn’t someone’s baby mama or faithful or mature enough for a commitment, so this isn’t just a black woman’s issue, this is a issue that crosses over to us black men as well. Just some food for thought!

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by bp_hellobeauty: Why Are 42% Of Black Women Still Single? http://bit.ly/61KgES...

What I would say is people can choose who they want to and that’s why there are many single women. Don’t lower your standards but at least find out who you are and your destiny then you can man a valueble decision based on who you are. Don’t base it on money because you can lose it at any given momment. I am a author of a book called “I The Shoe Fits Wear It” and I travel the country teaching basic principles for single people. One of the main reasons why people are single because they don’t know how to pick the right mate for themself. Check out a free preview of the book @ http://www.Ifitfitswearit.com

Shahrazad Ali……….. ask her !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb8PIsrICTs

*Disclaimer: the video does not apply to ALL blackwomen.

also, ALOT of women CHOOSE men that aint s**t.

and after they have 3 or 4 babies by these dudes who aint about nothing, they talkin bout ”aint no good men”.

end of the day… we need to BOTH make better choices about who we get with and who we make babies with.

cuz all this man VS woman is WILLIE LYNCH divide&conquer, to keep our families f**ked up.

its necesarry to keep the black community full of chaos, ignorance and confusion, so we can keep getting pimped.

Shahrazad Ali……….. ask her !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb8PIsrICTs

oh boy…this topic again! many of these “successful” and single women are unhappy with themselves and no man wants a woman with emotional and mental issues. the others have their priorities screwed up. instead of looking for a man of good character and who will provide, they’re scouting a man to play the role in a fairy tale life they have in their head. many of these women wanna a family who’ll be featured in Black People Weekly or Who’s Who in Black America (neither are real publications).

Hmmmm… well, that just lowered my hopes of coming across Mr. Right….

Wow there are a lot of people in denial here.

@YoYo3434, I noticed that they ignored Steve Harvey’s recommendation also. They seem to think that’s settling. You can settle for less and work with it, or you can settle for nothing, and you can’t work with nothing. Why can’t a 32 year old date a 42 year old or a 26 date a 36?

One of the women was asked by another why she didn’t ask the white gentleman for his number. She just shook her head in answer. I got to tell you ladies here. If it was the other way around i.e. white woman black man. The white woman would have got that number. My neighbor who just moved in to my complex stopped me a couple days ago and said to me – I got a man but my girlfriend …. are you single? Before that another white woman sent one of her kids over to tell me that his mama liked me. It’s a dog eat dog world for single men, and I think black women have to raise their game. I don’t consider myself a player , but if I was I would be absolutely swimming in women.

Woma are always trying to find a perfect situation. Life will never be perfect and you will never find a perfect relationship or perfect man. Most black women dont want to compromise. They’re unwilling to except the fact that there looking for a fantasy and they need to get out of cartoon land.

I think Most ppl don’t really knw what makes them happy. If they did, then they wouldn’t keep getting into relationships that fail or are doomed from the beginning. I think ppl need to be on the same path (mentally and spiritually) in life and have similar interests and goals before they get with each other. Ppl think opposites attract, but i think the attraction is initial because it or they are something new…when a future breakup is the reality….Adding race or color to the issue further clouds what is really needed to be looked at….

For me, it’s simple. I am just tired of the BS that comes with men. It’s first all about sex and then it’s over anyways. And it’s not even the black man, it’s the white men and the mexican men too. The back pocket girl is the one i keep running into. The rotation woman is another one for me too.
I do agree with Steve. I’m not settling anymore and it is not an option for me any longer. I compromised for years and I’m tired. EXHAUSTED with the BS. So now, not to punish any man coming along..but he simply has to “BRING IT” now. No more talking, action now.
Steve said that the older men forgot to teach this generation, ..I agree. Look at what we as black woman have to work with now. Whew! It has become a household cleaning chore. Sad! ..but simply true.

I agree with you TB.
But I will take it one step further. Most people don’t know themselves yet. Those people are doing the right thing in remaining single.
By December 2010, I will have a Yorkie..(a male). He ..I know.. will be loyal and faithful and never leave when the going gets rough…

Damn. Calm_Cool_Collect put it down. I couldn’t have said it better.

I personally believe that black women need to broaden their horizons to look outside the realm of just black men. I believe that black men have long since made the decision to step out of their race and age range and look elsewhere while many upon many black women still feel it is taboo to date outside their race or age range.

Also, I think that black women don’t have to be threatened by these statistics at all. More black women go to college than black men. We are dominating the workforce. So who is in danger when they see their worth and leave the thugs and criminals?

Women need to stop having a check list, Us Black men don’t have a checklist as sisters but we do have what we won’t tolerate from a woman. Furthermore BLACK MEN DOESN’T EXIST ONLY IN AMERICA SO PLEASE STOP THE “BS” YALL GETTING ON MY NERVES LIKE THEIR IS A REAL SHORTAGE OF BLACK MEN, WHILE IN ACTUALITY THEIR IS MANY BLACK MEN <AFRICA N THE CARIBBEAN). I AM OUT

AND FOR THOSE THAT FEEL LIKE BLACK WOMEN NEED TO BROADEN THEIR HORIZON TAKE YOUR A@@ OVER TO THE WHITE MAN KNOW AIN’T NO ONE STOPPING YOU BUT KNOW HE WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO DUPLICATE THE BLOOD LINE OF A BLACK MAN. BUT IF YOU WANT MONEY AND THIS SO CALL SECURITY BLANKET >>>> START RUNNING BECAUSE I AM HEARING THE MASTER CALL YOU, CRACK THAT WHIP.

AND FOR THOSE THAT FEEL LIKE BLACK WOMEN NEED TO BROADEN THEIR HORIZON TAKE YOUR A@@ OVER TO THE WHITE MAN *NOW AIN’T NO ONE STOPPING YOU BUT KNOW HE WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO DUPLICATE THE BLOOD LINE OF A BLACK MAN. BUT IF YOU WANT MONEY AND THIS SO CALL SECURITY BLANKET >>>> START RUNNING BECAUSE I AM HEARING THE MASTER CALLING YOU, CRACK THAT WHIP.

What Show2night? You expect them to go get a fisherman from the Caribbean or a Masai herdsman from Africa?

:-)

BECAUSE THEY’RE EVIL AS HELL AND THINK THEIR BODIES GET THEM AN “ANYTHING I WANT FREE CARD” AND MANY WALK AROUND WITH THEIR NOSES STUCK UP IN THE AIR AS IF THEY ARE TO BE WORSHIPPED AND BOWED DOWN TO.

Steve Harvey is wrong about men not having a biological clock. True, men can father children at an older age, but studies have shown their sperm to be less viable, which increases the chances of genetic deformaties in their offspring (“Reproductive BioMedicine Online” and “Men’s Reproductive Clock”). Also, sperm production begins to wane. Additionally, it has been shown that people who are more than ten years apart in age have a higher divorce rate than those who are closer in age. Therefore, why should a 20- or 30-something year old woman consider a man who is, say, in his 50′s?

I think that the women in the video are no more picky than any non-black woman would have been at a younger age (notice that these women mentioned how they begin lowering their criteria for somee tangible features as they got older). I think that we have all been there–we all have a narrow vision of what we want, especially when it comes to appearance and certain other things. As we age, we broaden our scope.

That said, I do not think that these women–or any successful, beautiful, attractive woman–should constantly lower their standards. I personally have tried to give men from all walks of life a chance, but there were just too many characteristics that many men shared that I felt were not in line with what I am looking for. NOT that I am looking to get married. However, my point is that these women should not have to settle for a man like Steve Harvey–who sounds like a runaway slave–when they themselves can speak a grammatically correct sentence. They shouldn’t have to settle for a 55 year-old man who needs viagra and a trip to the sperm bank when they should just continue to try to find a man closer to their age. Basically, don’t give up hope and “compromise” your standards to the point that you end up regretting your choice.

You know what Show2night before you go and preach about black women dating outside their race make sure you go and point that self righteous finger at the black men since they are way ahead on the subject. That is another reason why the pickins are slim. Don’t be mad at black women for adapting to an environment they didn’t create.

movingforward05, you mentioned that you were overweight and were overlooked by black women. Weight bias is not a black thing; it is a bias that crosses racial lines. It is also more prevelant amongst certain groups. Therefore, it becomes somewhat more “tolerated” or “acceptable within those groups.

As far as your take on black women being superficial and materialistic… they are no more superficial than white women or Latinas who are americanized….and really, the level of materialism/superficiality can depend on where you live.

In a nutshell, being rejected in the past has obviously left a sour taste in your mouth about black women. However, don’t let a few a*****es spoil your perception. There are obviously good black women-hell, women of all races–available and can’t wait to meet you. Onward and upward, babe!

OH LORD here we go

let the b.s comments roll…..

remember ladies success is nothing without a man there to share it with you.mr right don’t exist. nothing never going to perfect.get over that old slave way of thnking .I blame lifetime, and women network

wow and dats y i def date outside my race… love is blind, so it definitely doesn’t see a color

Angilix: What Show2night? You expect them to go get a fisherman from the Caribbean or a Masai herdsman from Africa?

Yes Bro! That is where we come from our lineage/bloodline, plus their are more highly educated brothers over their than the USA. The difference is probably religion and culture.

Because some of their so-called standards are superficial and silly, like a 5″3 sister who says she only wants to date brothers 5″11 and up.

So what if the 5″11 cat is a complete loser in every sense of the word but thre’s a 5″6, 5″8 brother who got his shyt together and actually knows what side is up? He loses out!

Solid standards are fine, no woman should settle for a bum, but superficial shyt like how tall a man is is something else all togethr. Jst my opinion!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At the comments there’s something that everyone can relate to. show2night bro understand this my man. no need to explain yourself because they’re going to find a way to chop what you say down like a broken fraction and turn it against you man. if they’re happy hell i’m happy for them let them feel the way they want to feel, let them go where they want to go LMAO!!!!!!!!

sexyandcool2
12-28-2009 8:38 pm

You know what Show2night before you go and preach about black women dating outside their race make sure you go and point that self righteous finger at the black men since they are way ahead on the subject. That is another reason why the pickins are slim. Don’t be mad at black women for adapting to an environment they didn’t create.

Sister the pick-ins are slim because of multiple factors in which you art to know. Also the sisters need to drop that list crap, because you are causing yourself from meeting a good black man. You don’t know if the man that was meant for you is a janitor, plumber, stylist etc.. Stop seeking riches because you reap what you sow.

jaydub_12…”success is nothing without a man there to share it with you…” The problem is that there are too many men who are tailcoaters and can’t or don’t want to hold their own…and you think that a black woman looking for a Mr. Right is the “old slave way of thinking”?

@Show2night I can’t speak for Africans, but I don’t agree that there are more highly educated brothers over there in the Caribbean than the USA. There are a lot of smart people there, but opportunities do not abound. This country is the standard. It’s why I’m here.
Although I commend your positivity, I don’t think you’re being realistic when it comes to the type of women profiled in that piece. They are simply not going to go for men on a fishermen or herder level, and I don’t blame them; just as the women here on BP are not receptive to the Instant Messages and Notes from men from Ghana.
In the Caribbean the educated men are all taken.

I have to disagree with ppl saying that ladies wont have success without a man! That has to be the biggest BS I have ever heard, I have no children and working on a master’s right now and my life is great and to be honest I never felt like I needed a man to make me feel happy. If you feel like you need a person to be happy then you will never be happy.

@Bi_ShyFem if you’re referring to what jaydub_12 said then you’re reading it wrong.
He didn’t say that ladies wont have success without a man.
He’s saying success is more rewarding when you have a man to share it with. In your case of course that would be a woman. :-)

@ Angilix, No brother! I never indicated the Caribbean men as more educated than than African-American brother’s but I do know that African Brothers are more educated than us, it is something that is taught in the African culture “Education” it is essential to your success and your being as a person of success and last but not least to challenge the so call white man.

my whole thing is that woman dont know that they want any more they goin mess around and hot have anything at all they say that they want one thing and then one the next they dont women dont
sides the men that there lookin for are not perfect there is no such thing as a prince charming there never was so as soon as they see a good man they brush them off and just goes for something else and they wonder why they think they good men out here cuz they keep chasein all the good ones away
and its not like we dont have a list of what we want to its just that they ask for to much i mean i love my sistas i do but you all need to figure out what u want and go get it and stop givin us good guys excuses in what u lookin for all because we dont fit your quota you all might need to bring it down some and see really whats good out there for you cuz u never know there might just be some out there for you and u wouldnt evening now it .

@ Angilix, You are right about the brothers in the Caribbean being taken especially when they are educated. But their many black men for black women maybe not in America due to fatherless homes, lack of education, poverty stricken neighborhoods, incarceration, racism and others…….Ignorance Media

it’s sooo interesting (and hilarious) to read the views on this issue. although i had already formed my opinion long ago (not gonna go into that), i didn’t really consider:
1) many black women may possess undesirable traits (whether she is a baby mama, hoodrat, educated, childless, independent, whatever!)
2) maybe, just maybe, we need to start being serious about dating other races (hell, the men already do)

hERE WE GO SISTERS LACK CHARACTER EVEN THE QUALIFIED BLACKMEN OUT HER USAUALLY DO TO THE SISTERS BIG EGO,BAD ATTITUDE END UP DATING OUTSIDE THE RACE DO TO THESE REASONS BUT BLACKWOMEN JUST CAN’T SWALLOW THAT!!!!!…..BUT BLACKWOMEN REFUSE TO LOOK AT THE THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR FIGURING THAT IT’S ALL THE BLACKMAN’S FAULT IF YOU CAN’T FIND A GOOD NICCA YOU CAN’T BE THAT GOOD YOURSELF!!!!….. BLACKPLANET BASH BLACKMEN MORE THEN ANYTHING LETS TALK ABOUT ALL THESE BITTER BLACKWOMEN OUT HERE.

BLACK WOMEN WANT TO BE FREE AS HELL THAT’S WHY THEY ARE SINGLE. WE KNOW BLACKMEN ARE BEING ATTACKED AT EVERY TURN AND RACISM HAS PUT ALOT OF THEM OUT THE PICTURE COMPLETELY. BUT BLACKMEN SUPPORTED THEIR WIVES WHEN WE WERE THE BREADWINNERS AND NOW OUR WOMEN ARE NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE OF US IN RETURN. WE CAN’T NOT BE DIVIDED AS A RACE OR A PEOPLE. WE CAN’T BLAME EACH OTHER FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF RACISM. YET BLACKWOMEN NEED TO STOP ACTING ERRATIC AND PUTTING DOWN EVERY AVAILABLE BLACK BACHELOR FOR SUPERFICIAL REASONS. DATING OUTSIDE OF THE RACE CAN ONLY WORK FOR A FEW WOMEN. WHITEMEN ARE NOT SHORT OF WHITEWOMEN AND THEN THERE ARE STILL MANY WHITEMEN WHOM PREFER ASIAN WOMEN BECAUSE THEY MAKE WHITEMEN FEEL BIGGER IN BED AS OPPOSED TO BLACKWOMEN WHO MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR. NOT OF LOT OF BLACKWOMEN WILL HAVE SUCCESS AS CROSSOVER LOVE NO MORE THAN BLACKMEN WHOM OFTEN FIND WHITEWOMEN ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN THEIR ANATOMY AND NOT THEIR TRUE QUALITIES. THE BLACKMAN AND BLACKWOMAN SHARE THE SAME CULTURE AND BELIEFS WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. TO DENY THAT WHILE WE CONTINUE TO MAKE BABIES AND THEN LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK WITHOUT A FAMILY IS A CRIME. AND TO THOSE WOMEN WHOM DENY THEIR BLESSING TO BEAR CHILDREN WAITING TO GET MARRIED A LONELY OLD AGE AWAITS THEM. BEING AT GRANDMOTHER’S AGE WITH NO GRAND KIDS IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING A GRANDMOTHER WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND ALONE.

BLACKWOMEN ARE BAD AT COMPROMISING!!!! THEY WANT WHATS IN A MOVIE FAIRYTALE…..NOT TO MENTION MATERIALISM AND SH*T LIKE THAT THE AVERAGE SISTER THESE DAYS IS JUST HARD TO APPROACH AND GET ALONG WITH PERIOD. LET THEM HOES BE GO GETTA WHITEGUY AIN’T THAT THE NEW TREND AMONGST BLACKWOMEN NOW……..BUT THEN THEY MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT’S JUST BLACKMEN WHAT ABOUT ALL THE SUCCESSFUL BLACKMEN WHO CHOSE TO DATE NON BLACKWOMEN I WONDER WHY YOU BLACKWOMEN ARE NOT PERFECT F*CK WIT YOU SAY LET EM BE SINGLE F*CK

@show2night, do you really believe that anyone one of those upwardly mobile women are interested in a janitor, plumber or stylist?
One of them is aspiring to be a state judge!
Let’s take yourself as an example. You seem like an intelligent educated brother. Do you think you can relate to woman who flips burgers at McDonalds? Can you discuss, religion, law, politics, issues affecting your people with her, and get some knowledgeable feedback ? You seem like a brother who needs stimulating conversation, and talking about what Rhianna’s wearing everyday is just not going to do it for you.
If you’re honest with yourself your answer is going to be no, and that’s just the predicament these beautiful, intelligent, successful black women are in. It’s sad really.

Do we really have to write in CAPS. I mean really guys. Really! Sigh!

It’s sad but true but a contributory factor is that some successful and unsuccessful women regardless of race are just ARROGANT,IGNORANT,POMPOUS AND JUST CHASING AFTER UNREALISTIC STANDARDIZED MEN.It’s good to be empowered and have a good head on your shoulder but doesn’t mean you have to allow it to ruin other things.

This explains it…(LOL) I have been wondering why I’m single and haven’t gotten any closer to finding a man…

Well. . .maybe they should stop searching for the ideal black man, and just open themselves to finding the ideal man, period.

BLACKWOMEN ARE THE BIGGEST SELLOUTSS HELL IT’S IN OUR HISTORY ALOT OF BLACKMEN TAKE SO MUCH PRIDE IN THEIR WOMEN THAT IT’S JUST NOT LIKELY THAT SHE WILL TRADE WELL LET TELL YALL NICCA THIS FOR THE RECORD B*TCHES AIN’T SH*T MADE THEY CAN KILL WHITEMAN WITH THEIR AIDE AND HIV OUTBREAK….EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON MAYBE IT’S THE LORDS WAY OF EVENING THE ODDS….SO WHITE MEN READ THIS YOU BETTER WERE YOUR CONDOMS…EVEN THOE WE KNOW YOU DON’T……LOL BLACKWOMEN ARE LETTING THE MEDIA BLOW THEIR HEADS UP…I MEAN HOW MANY TIME AM I GOIN TO COME ON BLACKPLANET OF ALL PLACES AND SEE THREADS MADE UP LIKE THIS….WHICH IS MORE THEN LIKLY CREATED BY A BITTER BLACKWOMEN HERSELF….FELLAS IN 2010 I F*CK EM LET DEM HOES ROAM!!!!. THEY WANN LEAVE GET THE F*CK ON i KNOW OTHER RACES OF WOMEN BEEN TRYING TO GET OF US NICCAS WEATHER ADMIT OR NOT CAN’T SAY THE SAME FOR THE SISTERS.

You are absolutely right, But their is one exception, I believe in empowering my ppl and building a foundation so in some ways I won’t date a sister that is lacking brain power and mental stimulation. Then again I would date a sister that is goal-oriented in college/university/Trade school etc, that may be flipping burgers, I am not one to look down upon someone based on their employment position/rank. Because when you look at it @Angilix, sisters out there like our mothers mother, aunts, great aunts and other great trees they weren’t able to work as equally as men therefore a lot of them were house wives, you get my drift brother @ Angilix.

Black women this, black women that. I’m sick of it. Black women are not the problem. The problem is those of you who have forgotten the prize. Have you heard of the phrase “Eyes on the prize”? Well brothers, you have taken your eyes off the prize. What is the prize? The prize is the black American dream. What you have done is let these beautiful, intelligent, successful black women pursue it by themselves and when they look around to see if you’re there with them to claim it, lo and behold! You’re not. You’re not educated, you don’t have a good job, you’re in prison, you’re on drugs, alcohol, gambling or some other vice. The route to the prize doesn’t involve some hoodrat with bad teeth and three kids and three different fathers and working as a cashier in Wal-Mart. It involves creating the black family with women like the ones profiled. For shame on you . For shame!!!

Below Black woman are not sellouts lmao sorry 2 say but b2n black women and men, men would def be the sellout

Not that I think they are!!!! However I will say We don’t take whatever lmao some do but many won’t while other races as long as they gettin BLACK DICK TAKE Wateva

@Show2night, wow this is the most I have ever posted. For some reason this discussion struck a chord with me. I agree with you. A goal oriented woman can very well be flipping burgers at McDonald’s, but that’s not who I’m talking about.

Its a bunch of nonsense….the lady i date is a beautiful intellegent strong spiritual caring sensual down to earth sista….. you date who you date….

like I said blackwomen are not all that just because you ahve a bigbooty doesn;t meant sh*t and to be honest I work at the pentagon….alot of the blackwomen in their are not even qualified for their jobs….and you here complaints about da sh*t all the time so lets cut this blackwomen are successful this blackwomen are acheiving that blackwomen aren’t acheiing anymore then the niccas they just know how to kiss a nice white pinkish @ss and front….let me put it to you like this you think if imma white male sitting in a human resources office somewhere I have two canindates both are college grads both are black one a women one a man!!!…..ok in 20009 theirs a blackman in the whitehouse a blackman hold the most power in the world right now beleive or not alot of whitemen just can’t accept dat…..and do to it blackmen are getting the downside of the plate in society you think that racist white male wants to see a young 21 25 year old blackman step into his office talkin bout give me a job hell no….that’s what goin on BLACKWOMEN ARE BEING PLACED IN THESE POSITIONS do to fear of blackmen getting powerful and gaining social status they average whitemale supervisor no he can bully a blackwomen around talk to her any type of way and she not goin to say sh*t be can he pull thet with that 25 year old blackman this is the thruth whats really goin in society trust me I am a government worker I see it everyday.

First the numbers are wrong because the ratio of black women out number blk men so the number of blk women that are single would be higher than blk men that are single. Let start by getting the numbers right then lets talk why.

I have recently decided that the 42% (or whatever the actual number is…who cares?) of black women who are single simply don’t want a man.

I figure if/when a woman really decides she wants a man she will find one. There’s plenty of decent, single brothers out here that most black women don’t seem to want for whatever reason (usually reasons they can’t even explain). I personally get tired of hearing I don’t exist…it’s really no easier for the fellas out here. Why not do a study about why brothers are single? It’s not for lack of effort…

HB is a pro-black woman site; I guess there needs to be a “Hello Handsome” to get the black male side of things.

@ loner1115

so basicly what your sayin is that blackwomen want they and also want to eat it too!!! I know brotha preach if you are a so called successful blackwomen…how come it’s so hard to find a man that doesn’t make any type of sense and especially now were yall swear up an down that all races of men wanna be with you….WELL WHATS THE PROBLEM FINDING A MAN!!!.

@ProJecTzBoy-A1, at my job I don’t even see black men applyin for jobs. I don’t believe the white man is telling them not to show up. I see black women showing up. The problem is not enough men are going or graduating from college. That’s the reason you don’t see them.

In todays’ environment companies are very competetive . A hiring manager is not going to reject you and take the risk that it’s competitor is going to pick you up. Yeah when you get hired you may encounter some discrimination from your co-workers and maybe even your manager, but he not going to let you slip through your fingers if you’re qualified. I think we blame way too much on racism. There is just too much blame going around period.

I don’t even believe this shyt!!! And if black woman so called only like thugs then how y’all gon be on here talkin bout Black women need 2 lower they standards cuz most ” Thugs ” are broke so that don’t make no kind of sense.

@ Angelix

I hear what you’re saying, but check this out. The fact is black women get hired at a higher rate than black men do. When I started my job there was five of us (we call ourselves the Fab Five), two brothers and three sisters. Me and the other dude were both 30. So it took us that long to get a job in our field (social services). The black women were 25, 26, and 40. All of them were either fresh out of school or came from some other good job. One has a master’s, the other had a job at a bank, and the 40 year old had just gotten her degree the previous month.

Me and the brother have worked at places like FedEx, Sears, etc….with DEGREES!

I’ll never play the blame game, but it’s tough out here if you don’t know somebody.

Anyway, by the time black women are in their 30s they’re “established”. The brothers? Hell, we just started working there. So black women go to work and see what everybody else sees…a lack of black men. It’s like I said earlier, it’s not for lack of effort. They (sisters) really need to stop worrying about where we work anyway…it’s obviously not doing them any good. Like I said, they’re passing up decent brothers because they WANT TO.

I can say, truthfully, A serious black woman with high standards, is not going to step down it gets hard being the head of the house for years and years and then some nicca as ya’ll call it come in and try and change the rules. I come to bed when i get ready, i cook when i getready, i leave the house and come back when i get ready. I buy what I want and like and if I don’t want that, i don’t get it. I don’t have to bend. I satisfy me. You can’t have that kind of attitude with being with a man. And you can’t have it with a woman either. You are bound to bump heads. But if I need to, I can bow down. But right now, I am not looking for a man. Because they won’t pull their pants up, they want something for nothing and they look for women with children so they know they can eat til the kids get grown. I like a sexy well dressed man. My brother calls me a man hater. But that is his problem. I am not going to have a man in my bed doing nothing for me. That’s just pure brains. They invented dildos back in the 30s and if that is all he is doing for me get me some C batteries. Having a man on my arm has to mean more than just having a man or sex. If I am doing it for myself, he better be doing one better for me. I dress out of Speigel and Baby Phat isn’t really a name brand. Its a Fad Brand, as is Derion. those will expire in years to come. Stacy Adams and Florsheim is the type of man I am looking for. And then maybe, I will bend and be his homie, lova friend. His Secretary his Chef, His Celebrity, His maid, His hooker/ho, his message center. But for now, why change if there isn’t something worth changing for.

dawg shut up who are you….you that type of nicca i was just talkin bout…..you showin all this pride in blackwomen on this thread and in return would she do the same for you…..im tryna tell you thats false where I work the young blackmen including myself are soooo hated onit’s crazy but they to scared to come out and say it to our faces….now just yesterday i came to work and heard a group or whiteguys joking around about how I QUOTE: {it’s not my fault that black people are slow and need help this was }the whiteguy exact words. ok keep in mind we have a blackwomen for a supervisor this is the same women who all the technician are complaining about sayin how they can’t beleive she hasn’t got fired yet because she doesn’t know what the f*ck she’s doin well anyway nothing was said about the comment that the whiteguy said she just sat their and pretended she did’nt hear it the sh*t……ok another commen they whiteguy’s made oh it’s not my fault that black people need help, it’s not my fault that my race is smarter then yours. at this point im askin everybody in the offices did they hear that……the two blackwomen who were in charge did’nt say sh*t…..now rewind a week before that were I was sent home for wearing a certain pair of shoes by this same blackwomen supervisor….a pair of shoes that she had seen me wear plenty of time….don’t try to school me homie I know whats goin in the work place….and it’s not always blackman can do the job or the blackman isn’t qualified….that’s not always the story but that what they wnat you to think.

Why aren’t they married?

Primarily:

Black women know they can’t stop The Beast from filling it’s racist-belly, with their strong Black males. It’s a national increase, in intensity, to try and subjugate and make felons of as many Black males as possible in this Nation.

Haunting example; of all places!— on Sean Hannity; story of a McDonalds restaurant footage showing Black male standing in line waiting to order, then getting attacked/jumped/gang-beat, by several White kids. Footage clearly shows him doing nothing but waiting to order his food, but…when smoke cleared?

Black kid is charged with assault, by local racist-Prosecutor…because of injuries suffered to White kid’s hands and fists, while punching him. real talk.

Black women see this. They saw Sean Bell, they saw Oscar Grant, Billy Joe Johnson…the saw Obama send Holder to CHI, about Black males’ violence, but not send him to OAK about white cops, executing Oscar Grant. Nor has sent him, to NC. To figure out why UNarmed Black males keep being gunned down by Charlotte police.

Oh yes. Black women tried to help fight it, but the belly of the beast is too grande.

So they just, hurt. Helplessly, watching Black males be annihilated by Racism’s 2009 Inequality, from their seat on that vehicle which The Feminism Movement has rode to new corporate-American rewards to keep them occupied now—-no time for marriage with a species that society wants to rid itself of…if Black male ain’t no good onstage nor athletic field—he’s worthless.

Secondarily:
Pop Culture, Oprah, and Walt Disney have joined to impress upon progressive-thinking Black women, that our 1)society is NOW eager to opportune Black Professional women who exude upward mobility and 2)show an overt disconnection from Black males…i.e. see Disney’s message to Pop Culture via the ‘Princess Tiana’ project

Neither of those elements can not be experienced, to benefit from, if a Black woman is concentrating on a (traditional) marriage with some Black male.

Unless he’s legally wealthy, of course.

[...] Why 42% Of Black Women Are Still Single? | Hello Beautiful [...]

and let not get me started on some of the thing I”ve seen and heard about blackwomen doin to climb the corporate ladder lets no get into that….lets put it like this yall brothas better take heed blackwomen are DL sellouts……im tryna tell you they will suck a white d*ck quick!!! for a office favorite and not only that let not talk about the blackwomen at my job who purpously try to get blackmen fired……lets talk about the new blackgirl in the office ok the office is segragated you got the blacks on one end and the white on one end the new girl without even introducing herself decided she was goin to hang out with the whiteboy crew…..this is the same guy who made the comments that I told you all about in my previuos post. now you got a group of I say about six whiteguys and one blackwomen come to find out her boyfreind is suppose to be white and she suppose to be getting married next month now I don’t know what you call that but that don’t sounf like know blackwomen to me. now thats just one minor story I thought I would share with all the brother who just swear up and down the your blackwomen are stickin by your side and representin us as a whole!!!! not in 2009

if a “successful” women can’t find a compatable mate then the problem is theirs. what man wouldn’t want a woman who had her own $? there are plenty of educated high earning blk men out there and if these women can’t find one then they need to do some soul searching.

it seems to me these woment don’t measure up to the successful blk man’s standards! that’s why many of the men go international for their significant other. they don’t just say f blk women but f ameican women. i’ve seen it in my travels

ProJecTzBoy-A1 & Loner1115, look I am not unaware of racism in the workplace or of sisters, or brothers for that matter, who are afraid to stand up for you. That just perpetuates and aggravates the behavior. In my current job I have had all the opportunity I ever needed. That doesn’t mean I can’t relate. In boot camp I escaped a beat down by a bunch of white racists who were planning to give me a beating while I was asleep. Luckily I overheard them and my squad leader, who was black, intervened. It may be easier for him in that situation to act.
I have always spoken my mind to my boss. I think it’s worth for all the black men there to take her aside and try to understand why she’s not supporting you. A united front can work wonders.
Loner1115, I can’t argue you situation and have no right to. You’re living it. Like I said I have had bad experiences and good. My current is good and like I said, I just don’t even see black men showing up to interview.

There is another issue between successful black men and women that I didn’t touch on and that’s the fact that so many of our successful black men that instead of marrying the kind of sisters in the article are marrying outside their race. Now, I am not a racist but when you marry a white woman for example, that money that instead of staying in two black families is divided into the black and white community, but the black community is the one that needs it the most. The prize is again dropped.

as blk women success progress, so does our standards. typically, blk successful women do not prefer to date within, not attracted to those that mimic the thug image, no time for drama, overly or under anaylzing, expectations that realistically are not reachable and especailly if you put the word “men” in the same sentence. we enjoy qualities across the board, respectable image, class, intelligence, height, admirable, positive qualities, same level or higher of goal and career driven. there are plenty of successful blk men, but there are a lot (along with other races) of blk successful men with either a criminal history, secret agenda, womanizer, self centered, egoistic or have children that are negative contributes that blk educated women do not care to invest in.

as men have learn the hard way through eons…. you cant have it all and beggars cant be chosers!
men now realize that if a man wants the world-thousands or millions will die for the effort. with women who want the world- the classic coniption fit!!!
we can settle for beauty if women can settle for no traditional relationship and thinking out of the box to find real happiness- not artificial hand me down good enough fo mom and pop kinda of happiness-NO SUCH ANIMAL EXIST ANYMORE!
things have changed and usually its the man thats stuck in a cave and wont change- now its the females who are stuck on the corpse of tradition and not letting it go!!! it is time for you ladies to step up and ACCEPT the situation for what it is – YOU WOMEN ARE NOW AND FOR SOME TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE THE BREAD WINNERS SO STOP COMPLAINING AND DEAL WITH IT!!!
stop watching the soap operas – IT WILL ROT YOUR BRAIN!
stop being down on the black guys- try to help us figure out how to get out of our rut or shut the hell up and accept this too like we have!
the reasons why black men arent doing anything to better themselves- we dont own the ladder that got us up and out and was taken before we got going good-AFFIRMATIVE ACTION!!!
insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and seeing the same result-
most men know when we are wasting our time and energy- so the thing we are doing different is sitting down and letting somebody else do all the screaming and crying about our plight because we have been ignored so long, that we know it does no good to jump up and down waving our arms like crazy!
so we choose to conserve our energy for the better tijmes to come once somebody realizes we did not do this to ourselves- we had A LOT of help getting into this rut!
most of us even feel as though the ALMIGHTY has finally abandoned us as well-no wonder we have lost our faith in our women!!!
dont blame us for loosing faith in ourselves if everybody else has given up on us too!
they gave us a shovel and told us to start digging and once we were deep enough in the hole then they took the shovel and the ladder and said “NOW STAY IN YOUR PLACE AND GO TO JAIL AND DIE LIKE A GOOD NEGRO SHOULD!”
they tricked us into digging our own grave and we need some serious help to get out of it and rescue our women!

@chictatious1

see it;s women like you you probably from the hood yourself….why are you concentraded on his image if he works at the same place your work…not only for that same reason is whay I don’t deal with women at my job coporate blackwomen are the worst….they don’t run sh*t but they walk around all day like they miss american but they be average in looks or even unattractive!!! as most of the blackwomen were I work but I guess you can’ tell a blackwomen sh*t when she get a little statue half of them corporate female are no better then the ghetto chicken heads….it’s all the same thing TALKING BOUT YOUR STANDARDS I honestyly think alot of blackwomen just have issues…that only they can deal with it’s no saving em!!!! and I never tried…thug image listen to you you sound white it’s funny cause the whitegirls be waiting for that right blackguy to say somthing to them at work while the sistas prance around like they running sh*t….LOL usually they mouth thats about it.

well imma end it like this at this point in time are blackwomen reallly even fighting for what am I as a blackmen fightin for besides she a blackwomen…….I say let em do what they want f*ck em.

I don’t know about the 42% as a whole, however, for myself I am single simply because I refuse to settle. Just because a Black woman is married does not mean that she is happy or married for the right reasons in the first place. It simply means she is legally married. You can be just as happy as a single woman/mother(I’m both of these). The opportunity for marriage has arisen for me but I don’t want to be bound by something that will financially and/or emotionally drain me to get out of. I am just going to wait for my mate to come….AND YES HE WILL DEFINITELY BE A BLACK MAN. I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its pretty interesting to read some of these comments really. I love seeing everyone’s perspective even if I agree or not. From my perspective I guess I see both sides. I am an educated black man, with a master’s degree from West Africa. Coming up living in the US, a lot of black women treated me like I was nothing for the lack of money and that fact that I was not speaking that “hood”vernacular but an articulate young black man striving for an education. Now its the rave. Finding a black man who is doing well and educated. Personally I could care less. To me its not about skin color or a heavy emphasis on a degree. The important issue to me is the content of character, the propensity of the heart to love and the ability of a woman to be my partner on all levels. This article wants to act like black men is the problem… and we are no doubt about that. However black women have a part in this as well

I’m not even about to read the ignorance on this board, but let me ask the BP Universe this…

How about a topic that says:

“Why are black women so beautiful?”

“Why are black women so talented?”

“Why are black women so smart?”

“Why are black women graduating from college in large numbers?”

“Why are black women so athletic?”

These STUPID F*CKIN’ CRACKERS downgrade us EVERYDAY with their BULLSH*T MEDIA!

Hey BLACKplanet universe! Why are you all not uplifting your people and steady downgrading us like these crackers do with their medie??? What is the difference between YOU and THEM??? I’m starting to see what the difference is…YOU ALL ARE BLACK AND THEY ARE WHITE. THAT’S IT!

We all know that Lyndon B. Johnson’s great society program (aka new slavery) put the nail in the coffin for the black family unit. Anyone with the slightest bit of history education knows why black relationships have been failing. BECAUSE WE ARE FOLLOWING A SYSTEM THAT WAS CREATED TO DESTROY THE BLACK FAMILY UNIT. Everything else negative that pulls us down like BET, the news, etc. are just extras. When we decide to start waiting on sex, waiting on making babies AFTER marriage, and working extra hard to make marriages work…then we will see a difference.

When we decide to focus on the positives in our community. We will be stuck in the negative mind frame FOREVER…c’est la vie.

@handsomeblk_NYC and califemme23
I totally agree with both statements. When my good friend mention this story, I told her this is just another story to bring down black Americans. Everything in the US is negative for black Americans from marriages, health-related issues, job-related issues, etc., I refuse to listen to these negative stories about my people because majority of women in my family are married. I’m still single but when it is time for me to get marry it will happen. I’m just enjoying the single life.

projectboy…whatever your name is and you actually sound as ignorant as your screen name. i dont care what you think of me and you are by far frm attractive. its blk boys like you that make blk men as whole not attractive men. only women with no self esteem would welcome you. im not going to converse on a level of yours that is merely farfetched as your aura. quite frankly i could care less who you would decide to date and you do blk women a favor by sacrificing yourself to another race, so they can deal with you lol! just excuse yourself and carry on to your own unheard opinions that are irrelevant.

AMEN @Lifeiswutumakit. You are so true. Why are we trying to figure out another question that will never be actually answered? Just another episode of black and white in America. It uses incorrect and exaggerated statistics of (lonely)black women as a competition with only white women and trying to degrade the black man. Then we get people on here trying to play the blame aganist each other that was started by the white man. how pathetic. I respect these beautiful black women in the video to the fullest because they are successful, strong and have their priorities straight. I hope they find love out here, becuase there are plenty good, single black men out here. May they study the Word of GOD to comfort them.

Those women were being straight foward.
They should not settle.
And men should strive to be similar.

It’s getting HOT in here. LOL well I have dated all major races out there and there is a difference between them all. Why are 42% of black woman single and why white woman are twice likely to be married before a black woman? Well I guess only then men who have date white woman know the answer to that question and I’m not about to say what it is and open up another can of worms……plus I don’t want to get stabbed.

America Sucks!!!! History will answer this question…the black man is public enemy # 1 in the minds of Americans and always has been.

Has anyone stopped to ask why the mainstream media is so obsessed with this story? Why, at a time when white marriages are failing at a 50% plus clip and infidelity is up among white couples, black people and their relationships are front and center? I mean a black woman goes missing and she can’t get ANYWHERE on the news, but a black woman allegedly can’t find a man and cameras are everywhere.

This story is tired…

That remark by RexyF answers the question…black women simply have it in their minds that moderating what they “want” in a man is “settling.” It simply proves what I’ve always said…black women want too much, and I’m not talking materially. A relationship with a sister is not the “50/50″ BS she often rambles about…it’s all about what SHE wants. You show me a woman who doesn’t want more than what a man is willing or capable of giving, and I’ll show you an alien, a ghost, AND a unicorn! The Buddhists have it right…the more energy & time you spend “wanting”, the more unhappy you will be & the less you will have (try not to think about that too long…chances are, you probably wont get it. LOL).

Marriage in the black community gets a bad rap. We all have friends or family that nearly ruined their lives with a bad marriage, so women are becoming more like men in asking is marriage really worth it. Couple that with the unrealistic expectations people have of marriage, and you have a lot of women who honestly believe they are settling by accepting the reality of their prospects. If you’re not attractive and have a bad attitude or a lot of baggage, your options will be limited to men who have NO other options in women.

they alone cause they cant find no men that will put up with their bulls**t. lets be real about it, black woman are very disagreeable. Black women say what they want and when they get it they f**k it up and then complain about how black men are no good. thing is MOST, not all, Black men are good, its just we get that label cause the sistas cant have it their way, get mad, emotional and act like the spoiled b!tches they are. funny and wild part about it is they got these weak black men following and agreeing with them. black women need to get their sh!t together and quick or you’ll see the number rise quick and black men need to stop following them as if they(women) were the men. 210 needs to be the year black men stand up and put these women in check. black men have let black women ‘take over’ and look where it has gotten us. they claim that the single mother can raise kids by herself and do a good job of it. while some do most dont. if they did our kids would not be in the shape they in, and we all know how fuked up that is. black women step ur game up please , we need you to help us build a nation. and men stop kissin these women’s ass cause u thin it will get u some p***y, you gonna hit the guts anyway, might as well get respected as a man. when a woman see u being a punk and kissing they ass the way you niggas do they loose respect even more than they dont already have for u. take off the panties brotha and put ur woman in her damn place.

black women feel cause they have a good job, great education etc it someone how makes them better than their black men, that cause she got that she somehow superior

There’s a piece low-tech gear that’s been around for about 5 centuries that can enable ANY person–man or woman–to see why they are single…it’s called a mirror! All you have to do is look into one and have an open enough mind to consider that the reflection staring back may actually HAVE some faults that contribute to her (or his) status as “single” (like the inability to see beyond the “packaging” into what lay inside).

wait wait wait. i rewatched the video and its funny how black women have all these silly disney mvies dreams of a man being a certain way and if not bhe not a good choice. like the sista that said how she use to have a height requirement where the man had to be 6’2 etc. im like are u fukin serious b***h, a man has to be a certain height? talk about shallow. whatever happened to how he is as a person, a man, funny how the man got to make as much as u or more. these women kill me. ok, ok, how botu we men have some requirements such as no stretch marks, you got to be a dime, got to have ass, no kids, got to have our back 100%, got to be the right weight which means no over weight chicks. see how shallow and unrealistic that is. black women come and many different varieties, shapes etc but what makes a woman is what is inside her and not the shallow stuff i mentioned. see just cause a woman has a good job, make big money, dresses nice, smells good etc it dont make her wifey material which most black women arr not. outside of marriage these women are good women, righteous women etc but once they get to bbeing a wife they no good at it, they dont know how to be. we need ‘big mama’ to teach these women the final step in being women which is being a good wife

@TiredMan amen brotha

LOL..Yeah, I see that “height requirement” on BP profiles all the time (example: “NO man under 6 feet tall”). I say, I’ll control my height when YOU control your weight! LOLOL

Well I must admit their are slim pickings for the sisters, but if they aren’t willing to “settle” as the phrase has gone then that bed will continue to be cold, the emptyness will continue to be in their heart and that soft pitter patter of feet running around the house will continue to remain silent. Sisters have positioined themselves for much more success than most black men, but at the same time the name of the game is compromise. If people aren’t willing to compromise then no one wins. So sisters as much as it may pain you to again “give up” somethings one of them has to be the idea man so you can get the idea life. Just my thoughts.

WELL ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I DO BELIEVE BLACK WOMEN DO HAVE VERY “HIGH STANDARDS” WHEN IT COMES TO MEN. AND RACE DOESNT PLAY A FACTOR AT ALL. MOST DONT REALLY CARE WHAT COLOR HE IS AS LONG AS HE HAS MONEY, HIS OWN PLACE AND CAR AND A REALLY GOOD JOB AND THATS JUST THE MATERIALISTIC PART. HE ALSO HAS TO BE TALL (AT LEAST 6′), FIRM CHEST, LIGHT OR BROWN SKIN, AND SEXY ENOUGH TO BE RELATIVE TO A DENZEL OR SHEMAR. THERE ARE EVEN MORE FACTORS IN REGARDS TO LOOKS BUT THATS JUMPING TOO FAR INTO ANOTHER CONVERSATION. MY POINT IS, IN TODAYS EVERYDAY “AVERAGE AMERICAN MEN” THE VAST MAJORITY OF US ARE FAR FROM THAT. SOMEONE EARLIER MADE A GREAT POINT THAT EVERYONE COMES IN DIFFERENT SHAPES, SIZES, AND COLORS. AND MOST BLACK WOMEN OR EITHER TOO SHALLOW OR TOO SCARED TO QUOTE “ACCEPT” A GOOD MAN THAT MAY NOT FIT THE DESCRIPTIONS I JUST MENTIONED. NOW US MEN CAN BE JUST AS BAD AS WELL, MOST OF US WOULD SAY WE WANT A WOMAN THAT HAS A GREAT ASS, NICE TITS, NO KIDS, LONG (REAL) HAIR ETC. BUT WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IT, I THINK THE WOMEN CAN AGREE THAT US MAN ARE A LOT MORE WILLING TO ACCEPT A WOMAN THAN VICE VERSA. WE AS REGULAR ORDINARY BLACK PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE WE’RE LIVING THE HOLLYWOOD LIFE TRYING TO LIVE IT UP LIKE DIDDY AND OPRAH KNOWING GOOD AND WELL WE CANT. NOW THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT BLACK WOMEN CANT HAVE THE “FAIRYTALE” WISHES OF A MAN SWEEPING THEM OFF THEIR FEET. AS LONG AS BLACK WOMEN ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT MEN FOR THEIR FAULTS, THEN AND ONLY THEN, THEY CAN START TO SEE THE INNER BEAUTY AND REALISM OF A GOOD MAN. JUST BECAUSE A MAN DOESNT MAKE A 100K A YEAR OR MAY NOT BE THAT TALL AND YES, MAY NOT HAVE A FIRM CHEST AND SEXY LIKE THE MEN IN THE MOVIES DOSENT MAKE HIM ANY LESS OF A MAN. I CAN UNDERSTAND IF A WOMAN DOESNT WANT NO BROKE @SS N1GGAS BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT A MAN SHOULD WORK TO SUPPORT HIS FAMILY. BUT MY GOD, ITS A DAMN SHAME THAT THE BLACK WOMEN ARE MISSING OUT ON THE GOOD MEN BECAUSE OF THIER HIGH STANDARDS. LIKE JOHN LEGEND SAID “WE’RE JUST ORDINARY PEOPLE” AND LIKE THE ORDINARY PEOPLE THAT WE ARE, WE NEED TO START ACTING LIKE IT. LADIES, IF YOU COME ACROSS A MAN WHOSE WILLING TO DO EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GIVE YOU THE WORLD, YOU BETTER GET PAST THE PETTY HIGH STANDARDS AND NAB HIM BEFORE A WHITE WOMAN DOES AND GOD FORBID, IF YOU NEVER COME ACROSS A MAN LIKE HIM AGAIN. DEUCES!

Everyone who has commented or insulated each other has made sense of the situation at hand. First off are we talking about Black Americans or Black people in general? Are we talking about the U.S. or the Universe? This article does not make any sense due to the lack of substantial evidence so as to make a conclusion. First, the media should stop using the term “Black” loosely, and use 2010 classifications of the human race. I am a successful black man, if I may “brag” with a JD/MBA, a good job and I residing in the conservative city of Boston. I am not married simply for the fear of commitment. In my dealings with the society in the U.S I have come to the conclusion that the majority of men are lustful towards women and this has become profuse in our modern society. This is regardless of whether the lady works in McDonalds, or the Supreme Court. In other words all we want to do is satisfy our desires. It all boils down to looks and sex appeal. Those days where marriage was a top priority has gone with the wind regardless of race. Most women on the other hand dream from teenage life all through high school, of that perfect wedding with a prince charming, while, the successful black women were thinking of ways to break the glass ceiling. Mind you they have three strikes against them, gender and race. Due to that, they missed out on developing a relationship that would grow into marriage. Once they reach their 30′s they begin to rush and 9 times out of 10 the relationship ends or the new marriage ends in a divorce. There is always a trade off in any situation. There are so many points that reflect well on this particular topic. Another point could be the increased same sex relationships that we see in our communities. There is so much to research about this topic before you can really go in-depth analyzing it. It would make more sense to ask the question, why has the marriage rate decreased in the U.S.? Shame on you ABC News what a hopeless job. These remarks are all educative guesses and have not been plagiarized.

Sisters I hope you have noticed the sentiments of the brothers through the comments on this thread. Take heed for this trend will take you into extinction. Men as a street smart and thuggish mentality is important pick a book and learn their world mix it back ours and a good work out and you just became successful. If she makes more than you, then she will marry you for your ambition. These remarks are all educative guesses and have not been plagiarized.

Those are excellent points raised by binghiman regarding the statistics. Still, I’ve talked to many sisters about this issue and always hear the same reply:if the brother isn’t gay, or married or in jail, he’s a player, broke, or unable to seriously commit. Whatever the reality, as a Latino I’m sure not complaining because I only date sisters, and most of them seem perfectly ok dating outside their race.

I love all the comments you men made! Brutal honesty is a very respectable trait. Black women suck! Yes you dumb broads do need to “lower your standards” and that has nothing to do with settling for less. Ive been married for over 7yrs and i was engaged 3 times before that and all those men were good in some way. Men are like clay…you have to mold them and shape them into what you want them to be. When i met my hubby he didnt have s**t, lived with his mom, made minimum wage and drove a raggedy car but you know what? I saw the potential in him! He was hardworking…good with his hands…loved his mother. I just graduated from nursing school and bought a brand new car off the lot and had my own place and was a single mother. I didnt turn my nose up at him because he didnt have the things i wanted right then! I took his potential and turned it into progression. I helped him write an acceptable resume, showed him where to find the most money-making job for his skills, and when i saw that he was willing to learn from the education i had aquired then i cleaned up his credit, cosigned for a used car, helped him buy clothes for interviews and what not. Now im not saying do this stuff for a man that you know dont wanna learn or do anything better with his life but everybody needs help sometime. Now after 7yrs all the things i did for him paid off! He makes so much money now that i can stay home and take care of my kids…i dont even have to work! Our life is so wonderful and yes we have our ups and downs but i would do it all over agin if i had to. Instead of looking at a man for what he doesnt have…look at the qualities that he does have and help him to be the man you need/want him to be! Alot of blk men grew up without fathers and dont know how to be husbands and fathers because they were never taught. Blk women will continue to be single if they dont realize that you cant have everything in a man right off…it takes time patience and effort!

Ive been in clubs and bars with my husband and women want to stare and look and flirt with him and i tell those homewreckers…youll never get him, i put in work for my man and hes so loyal to me its sick! Weve sat there before and ive watched women stare at him and while they were looking at him I noticed a decent looking man across the bar sitting alone just itching to buy a lady a drink…later i talked to him and he was a single truck driver with a house and no kids..B****S WTF IS WRONG WITH YALL?! While they were staring at my husband who would never give them a chance in hell…they missed out on a good hardworking single blk man with potential! Why want a married man when you can have a single one?! This leads me to say…women wanna complain about theres no good men out here…YES THERE ARE YOUR JUST LOOKING AT ALL THE WRONG THINGS IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES!! BLK WOMEN GET IT TOGETHOR FOR REAL!!

Okay I am so tired of this nonsense that I am making it my mission in 2010 to debunk the misleading information. Yes ladies there is a discrepancy of 1.8 million women over men but most of this number is for black men and women over 55 years of age. For young people of marrying age, the number is ALMOST equal. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME INFORMATION THAT IS NEVER TALKED ABOUT? HERE IT IS – BELOW THE AGE OF 34, THERE ARE MORE MEN THAN WOMEN. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT THAT I AM GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN. THERE ARE MORE MEN THAN WOMEN BELOW THE AGE OF 34. Where did I get my information? From the same place Nightline researched their information, the website Census.gov.

@swaggalicious30, what you did for your man is incredible. You’re an amazing intelligent woman.
This goes back to what I said in one of my first posts on this subject.
“You can settle for less and work with it, or you can settle for nothing, but you can’t work with nothing. “
What you did was settle for less invested in it and made it more.

swagg, I agree with you. Where is the sisterhood, just morals, values,between women? I have can’t stand skanks and call them far worse , Black, White or whatever who want to go after married men.

I am gald your husband was a diamond in the rough.
Fact is though, he was a diamond in the rough. He had potential and was working on himself. He was a work , a masterpiece, in progress. He matched you. Blue collar jobs can sometimes earn more than White collar. Some White collar jobs can earn more sometimmes than Blue collar. White collar, Blue collar, as long as a man has a collar ok.

Should Black women who have a good job, career, date/marry men down in the income/job/career areas? Just asnwering this question straight out not,NO. NO,they should not. It is not natural. Do White women and Non-Black women date/marry down. No. Realistically, it won’t work. A woman doctor dating a minium wage earner? No way. Aftrer the sheets,what would they have in common with her collegaues, her world, her career related events, etc? Nothing. . A woman with a higher education, college, post grad, med., law, etc. can’t make it with a man who is not . He will feel inferior. She will feel sorry.

Answering the question further…
He who is still in the same income bracket or simliar, has achieved in his own area and is confident in his area and ability, etc. can make it. She may be a lawyer, and he may have been a mechanic from Community College at first when she was in college but by the time she finished law school, he now owns 3 mechanic shops. Ok!! Tahtcan work.

Compatability is areas of career, life goals, sex,religion, etc. makes a relationship.

You know, I keep reading how black women need to lower their standards, how materialistic and superficial they are, how they are too picky, how they think they are better than most black men…

But why is it that black women are always expected to accomodate or to be flexible? Why do black women always have to settle in order to get a man simply because the number of single black men is low???? I certainly do not see black men being flexible in what they want. I realize that they feel that they don’t have to since they are “outnumbered”, but I think that we women need to resist changing our criteria simply to have someone. LADIES: it is OKAY TO BE SINGLE AND ALONE. It does not mean you will be lonely. STOP BUYING INTO THE BULLS**T THAT MEN AND SOCIETY IN GENERAL ARE TRYING TO FEED US ABOUT BEING OUR STANDARDS BEING TOO HIGH. If some people had their way, black female doctors and lawyers would be married to 55 year old men who are janitors! What a joke.

Frankly, I find that most black men (not all, but most) just do not have their s**t together. A lot of you need get a command of the english language for a start! Go to school! Stay out of the streets and stop trying to hustle for your money! Learn how to manage your finances. Stop smoking weed so you can actually get a real job! Wear a damn suit or clothes that actually fit every once in a while!

I am getting fed up with the bulls**t, that black women are somehow the sole cause for the relationship problems amongst black people. Frankly, if that is how a lot of you negros feel, why should black women even bother with any of you? Like I previously wrote, I think that black women should just stop dating black men in general. Let the other women have them–I DO NOT CARE. I have dated men from other races and these men have no problem bringing a black woman home to their parents. Is it going to be more of a challenge to find a non-black man? NO harder than it is to find a compatible man who is.

I think everyone should be open to dating outside their culture.

@JTfacts, you’re wrong. Females consistently outnumber males.
Age Both sexes Male Female
Number Percent Number Percent Number
Both sexes Male Female
All ages 37,775 100.0 17,590 100.0 20,185
15 to 19 years 3,340 8.8 1,656 9.4 1,684
20 to 24 years 2,915 7.7 1,392 7.9 1,522
25 to 29 years 2,831 7.5 1,322 7.5 1,509
30 to 34 years 2,447 6.5 1,098 6.2 1,349

http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/age/age_sex_2008.html

If you want to look at the data yourself look at Table 4. Black Alone Population by Age and Sex: 2008
(Numbers in thousands. Civilian noninstitutionalized population)

(Numbers in thousands. Civilian noninstitutionalized population1)

Angilix, I agree.

I was going to ask about the flipside. You did it, but I still want to post.
How many Black guys, White collar jobs, college,post college, professional school, etc., great job/career,goal oriented, or in Blue collar jobs really making it, high acheiving, has goals, etc. wants a girls, sweet,Christian, noice, home oriented but is just a H.Sch. grad, works at a minimum wage job?

None. They answer is none. There are not many guys out there looking for girls with no ambitions,career, etc.

Career,job is not the onlything there is, but everybody has to have good jobs or professioanl careers to earn a living . The old days of having a H.Sch. diploma and making a good living starting in the 1950′s ending in the 1980′s is over and never to return.

Why is that Black women must settle? Be happy. Take who you can rather have no one.
Get off her high horse.

Do non-Black women do this? No.
Do Black guys do this? No.
Do White guys and non-Blackguys do this? No.

I agree with Azrael . I posted below something simliar to her post below.

I agree with Frenzy.
Black girls should , might have to try socializing with me outside of the box.
————————————————–

Separate post. Black women who are looking for light-skinned guys, dark guys, 6’0 or over, but under 6’4, light eyes,all that is superficial.
These types are girls are silly,stupid.

Career,income is serious.

Also, with looks, you attract most likley what you are. Look in the mirror. There is nothing wrong with that if you want that too, but you need to be that.
Reggie Bush is with Kim Kardashian, but look at him. Look at her.
Income wise,they are compatible. Just an example, food for thought.

In defense of the woman in the article who is looking for that 6’3 guy. I noticed she is apparently at least 6’0 herself. Attraction is important, and there are features that attract some people and others that don’t. You can’t fault people for the preferences.

well i cant speak for every black woman, but THIS ONE isn’t a golddigger!! 21 single with NO KIDS, and don’t plan on having any if im not married. I’ve been *handlin my business* for awhile and doin it very well, it will stay that way I’m DO JUST FINE ON MY OWN so What a man has never bothers me, because REAL PPL know that together u can move mountains ; ) A sistah just simply wants someone who’s trying to maintain and doing it the honest way, i mean any job beats no job at all especially now more than ever! I ADMIT, i AM one of those women who will die alone b4 i settle for someone who just wants to use me, and make me a BABY MOMMA…hell im ABOVE THAT ; ) HELL MY STANDARDS AINT 2 HIGH, I DONT ASK FOR MUCH, BUT ITS STILL HARD TO FIND….BUT HELL I LOVE ME HAHA I COULD STAY SINGLE I PROBABLY SHOULD MARRY MYSELF “NOT CONCEITED* LOL. SO SISTAHS, WALKING ALONE AINT A BAD THING AT LEAST THERE’S NO1 AROUND TO TRIP U ; )

No one to trip you, and no one to catch you when you fall.

WELL I’LL JUST PICK MY OWN ASS UP LOL

because of all these batty man out here..fishes taking over

Angilix I am not wrong. My reference:

http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/NC-EST2008/NC-EST2008-04-BA.xls

Annual Estimates of the Black or African American Alone Resident Population by Sex and Age for the United States: April 1, 2000 to July 1, 2008

This is where Nightline researched their numbers. Women do not consistently outnumber men.

these women need to get there stuff together. the problem in our community is many women believe being a strong black women is not to be a women at all. they believe that it means you don’t work together in a house hold with your spouse and they just should be taking care of. they don’t believe being strong is in part supporting your man and allowing him to be the man of the house. this is why some men date outside there race. a man shouldn’t feel he has to fight with you to be the man and play his part in the relationship. let me put it real plain being independent doesn’t mean you can’t have a man. you not supporting and trusting a man keeps you from having a man.

That’s just the thing, JTfacts. Nightline is not talking in estimates but in hard numbers. Also, notice the age range I’m using. I’m using marriageable age for the most part (I was forced to use the 15 to 19 years range so that I could include 18 and 19 year olds, but you can exclude them if you want) and this chart you’re referencing seems to include incarcerated men, whereas mine does not. It’s all in the details.

Reality Check:

swaggalicious30- You sound dumb @$$ f%^k. What are you some kind of playdoe owner? You made it seem as if you had alot to offer but yet you went looking for something lower then your level. It’s ok to date someone who is not on track but it’s not ok to go looking for someone like that. If they come to you on the struggling tip and you like them, by all means help them up their game but don’t go looking for no low standarad dude then molding him like he’s some kind of project. You must have dated a real young guy and had no choice but to settle.

You said blk women are dumb well i guess you were implying that to yourelf because you are blk. Are you speaking for yourself? Because It seems like it. Why would you tell a women to lower her standards basically telling her let go of her dreams and desires for something better then what she expects/deserves. The guys agree with you because you just made yourself out to be the kind of girl you can use to work your way to the top, she don’t mind. If you keep that mentally you might just get a guy that’s gone use you and keep it moving.

You said blk women were dumb and you proved yourself very well. Your also lying on the other comment. You got a “husband” so why would you even talk to another dude in the club? What does his qualifications have to do with you, a “married girl”? Why does it matter if he has a job and a car if you should have your own? Why are you so interested in what that guy had to offer? Get your game right before you try to spit to someone else. What married couple hits the club instead of a romantic night somewhere special on their free time? Be for real. You the only blk girl who is dumb so don’t speak for all.

BreBuffalo- I agree it’s wrong to mess with a married person even if you are just attracted to them but why was that married women talking to a single male?

Azrael3- Exactly. So many blk guys feel they are in demand and that blk women should settle for anything and just be thankful of them etc. Blk men do not make as many changes for the blk women but they expect it in return. BS. Eventually blk women will be in demand by all men and blk guys wont stand a chance, neither will they have a strong woman by their side etc. It’s more of the blk males fault for not appreciating the blk queens available.

Angilix- A real man would catch them and not a boy.

SUTRA913- Blk women are not the ones doing what some blk boys do. What are you talking about? A strong black woman is to be a woman except for a strong one.What strong black women expects to be taking care of? Key word “Strong”.Why should being a strong woman mean to support your man? That’s not the meaning of a strong woman. What makes a man of the house? Alot of guys say that but you got to do the job of a man in order to be the man of that house. First off make sure it’s your house (don’t come in expecting to control her sh!!), make sure you pay all the bills, equally and on time or the highest bills, make sure you do more then just give her good sex to feel like a man. You got the game twisted. Some guys think just because they wear the pants and are the guy they should automatically take control. What person in the world took charge and didn’t work their way to the top? Get the f%%k on wit that bs excuse to date outside your race. Guys date outside of their race to feel in charge not like a man. Being in charge is not the definition of a man. Check it.Why would a man feel he has to fight with you? Vice versa a blk woman shouldn’t feel she has to slave to you in order to feel like a woman either.

Why do you have to support a boy to have him as your man? Why would you trust someone you don’t know? If you get to know them then why wouldn’t you trust them? What kind of support are you talking about: emotional, career, goal wise or take care of them as if they your child.

Black women yall better start thinking about the bs theese guys feed you, do you, do it well, get your sh!! together, set them goals then find someone on your level and nothing less because you gottah feel you deserve the best.

F who don’t like it cause I keep it real and blk guys should show the sistah’s some love and not continue to feed them that bs.

Good for neva.
I agree with Angilix about attraction and being compatible is something that cannot be deined. I have posted that before. Now since I watched the clip, I can post about the girls there. I guess if the girl , who Ang said is 6’0 , is looking for a tall man is very tall herself, it makes sense for her for a guy to be somewhat tall , equal height ,or just a very few inches shorter than she is.
Short guys usually don’t go for women who tower over them in flats let alone in heels.

Steve Harvey makes a point about if you make $150,000 a yr.,does he have to?
I would would say no, but he has to be in her area. So he earns in his career or job $50,000-75,000,fine!!!! He earns $16,000 a yr. , relationship is not going to be.
Career is a huge part of our lives because working for a living is too. You need to find personality,and other things too. I am NOT one hellbent on the income. If money all there is as the only requirement,find a drug dealer. He has tons of money. Life will be very short for both of you and dangerous, but the money is there.
I do not think these girls were being too picky from what I saw in the short clip.

They are simply looking for someone compatible. That is not too much to ask and the BG’s (Black girls) are outnumbered finding that Black guy.
About the girls, career in a man compatible to theirs is only a part of finding a mate, but I wonder if they are looking for x dollars like Steve said or actually have explored in similar professional areas. We keep thinking about the income from similiar careers,but careers compaitblity also makes relationships work because each understands the others’ work schedule, and other things about each’s career.

The H.Sch.Counselor working on her Ph.D., what about a school teacher?
He would make less than she does when she eventually becomes a principal, board member , or college professor. They would still be compatible.
The cheerleader/D.A., a guy who is simply just an atty. starting.

Some girl named Michelle Robinson , I do not know her, but she started dating this guy, well, he was an underling, an atty. too ,but way beneath her some girls would say, because she was an already an established atty. in a high position at this particular law firm, and anyway, she married the guy, Obrien Barry, something or the other. Whatever.
Short story, his name was Barack Obama and he became a president.Well, not a president like normal people of a law firm, but President of The U.S.A.

Well,thats their story. Yeah, it is a rare one about the PoTUSA thing, but it is not so rare about finding a guy in your same career or similair and even who is not just a made man yet in his career.

How do you meet guys?
Family ,friends gatherings like parties,weddings and include church here with family, friends since church is a family,friend gathering place as church holds events like dinners, fairs, day trips, etc. for family,friends, parishoners.
College
Post-college in grad.professional school
Professional /job related events like workshops, conventions, etc. but you cannot date where you work,same company,place.
e-Harmony, well, don’t knock it until it give it a try.
And yeah ,some of us are so lucky to meet on the plane, waiting for the plane, dentist waiting room, and so on.

@ iamtruelove1111
“Angilix- A real man would catch them and not a boy.”
I don’t disagree, but you have to have one around to do so.

I don’t know about ya’ll but, this article is whack. Love who you love and on some of these comments about black women. Don’t date us, let us continue to be professional women who white men are more amped to date. (Funny how they never put that topic on here becuase they are getting more confident in approaching us from my experience, but I like black males but can never find one who’s not about games or fake like ya’ll say we women are but any who) Some of ya’ll can’t handle a good sister so sometimes, we entertain the foolishness and back off when we get tired. I know I do.

imtruelove, I had to go back and reread my post and swags.
What kind of married woman speaks to a single man?
I assume she just had noticed the poor guy seating alone for some time and weatching “weave” hit onher husband, she was just curious.

A married woman asking a single or married guy casual talk, question like “Excuse me. Are you waiting for a booth because my husband and I are are…whatever, ” is taken way differently than a single woman asking or talking to a married man, even asking for the time, LOL!!!!! No threat!!!!!!

Just like an older single lady ,is ok asking, casual talk to a married man.
No threat!!

The clubs,many marrieds meet other marrieds, their friends at clubs sometimes for drinks, dancing. A clubs doesn’t mean hole in the wall type of joint. Many clubs are upscale, Las Vegas dance clubs. No harm there. Now if married and without the spouse,oh, bad news there. I don’t see any harm with that as long as spouses are together.

I agree with you, imtruelove, about why is it Black girls-BG’s,be told to date/marry down,be grateful,be supportive, be a strong BG bulls**t… Yeah,yeah.
Some kind of way that strong BG thing means you carry the burden for everyone and help everyone , put yourself last. B.S.!!!

Why should BG’s not want a strong meaning dependable guy. On her level intellectually,morally,income and career wise, etc.
Other women get this and nothing less?

Women are unrealistic… when it comes to men women fantasize and when they dont get anywhere they call it sticking to their principles. I hate to sound crass but… someone told some women that a pretty face and a puzzy equals the world on a string… like it entitles them to something….
You know what’s more important than “chemistry” …..? Moral compatibility, child rearing philosophy, economic prioritization. What I am saying is that there is a difference between looking for a husband, someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with and a plaything/friend with bennies/lover homie friend someone who you just expect to have sex with.

I also feel the lady with the short hair (they are all pretty ladies) the back pocket girl, wana check up on us to see if we are still single. F that. I never call them, I let them call me. When he does, I have a candid convo that he usually can’t handle and then tell them to kick rocks.

Again Angilix, you are wrong. Population numbers are estimates. If you look at the numbers between 20 and 39, there are approximately 250,000 more Black women. This is a small number compared to the large number of males and females among this age group. My whole point with these numbers is this: the RATIO of Black Women to Black Men in the US is very small. Even if you include Gay men, incarcerated men, etc. the RATIO is still small. For every 10 women, there are 9 men. Not a great difference.

They are indecisive and when it comes to a man they dont commit for the long term.. Im speaking on the miracle number of 42% of course..

There arent approximately 250,000.. thats funny.. Also they like to argue on dumb stuff, and cop an attitude like they are the only ones in the room when somebody doesnt agree with them. Just watch an see.

Oh Lord why did you have to post this up as an article…… You know black women are going to get crucified ….. lol Awww man, Okay I strive for world peace lol,… oh boy I’m really tired of this topic…its past annoying…. so how bout those cowboys??? They are doing pretty darn good I might add. Wheres all my cowboy fans at! YAY!!! lol

Well Tiger Woods didn’t date anyone Black, seems like he has a heiram of troublemakers! So let’s stop confining Black Women to all of the negative attributes of the world. I am a college educated Black woman, who has done the Tyler perry movie dating. Up, down, all around has been my theme for years. I like who likes me, the only problem I can say is it becomes hard to find someone who has similar interests and moral values. I just stay prayerful and continue to believe in myself. I love Black men, but sometimes feel they may not be who I finally settle down with.

Oh kuchicruck, you have been believing the nonsense for so long, you take it as truth. Hmmm, I go to a gym in Brooklyn, NY where the ratio of Men to women is approx. 50 men to 1 Women. When I go to sporting events, there are always more Men than Women. Ladies, there are more men out there than the media and other Black men will have you believe. Both the media and Black men have ulterior motives in spreading this false notion that there are large differences in the number of Black Men and Black Women. Think for yourself. I have no other motive but to tell the truth. Oh by the way, I have been married for 15 years and plan to add another 40 or 50 years to that total.

Let’s just keep it real…Steve Harvey is not qualified to give me any advice, I read the book for free, have 13 brothers…I think I have it down packed. I am a very educated woman, having been married for 28 years once, he passed away 9 years ago. When I started dating again i wanted someone who saw me as their equal. I have dated men of all nationalities, so I was never stuck on black. The color of a man’s skin is unimportant, how he treats me is important. My friend is from Dubai and treats me like an angel, we are getting married in 2010. These women should not have to compromise, but stop looking for the opposite of pookie to come around the corner. Black men state they want everything these ladies have to offer, but will marry a white woman as soon as they hit pay dirt. A woman who is of equal stature is a threat to most black men…so I did not waste my time searching for one.

Well i wanna let ya know on here that is not truth they are not single.it alots of single black mother these day.

I be real with that story telling us on here that a lie right there

Brains and beauty with a God-fearing heart is what I’m looking for If you fit the bill hit me up.

my point taken, after reading all of these comments that is why blk relationships do not last nor work, because most are so hostile. why should you care about the preference of an individual? it should be a benefit to you and more fish in the sea just like how the old saying goes lol. women shouldnt be commenting on another womans comments and taking offense, because it makes you look ridiculous. the men commenting that is predictable, because its going to unwrath the qualities that they do not want light to shine on and have the realization of how much of a bad person they are. my comments never stated all blk men, just majority, but does that majority include you? do i know you? then how would it play a role in your life…think about it? the only way you can take it so offensively is if the comments are very relevant towards you. this is an ariticle that circles around opinions and im not sure why all these people are so hostile lol! its like most people are trying to e-sucker punch someone lol! just grow up and take an opinion. if you do not like it or agree either ignore or stop reading lol. i dont agree with a lot of comments, but you dont see me attacking those either, because i have class and i respect others of their opinion.

don’t get surprise tha’s how it set up to be,different race prefers to accept black woman than blackman,imaging if some could not make money in sports they would be more in jail,plus minority schools don’t get the support from gov like the suburban rich communities and that make the chance slim for blackmen to be accepted in college to diverse,plus the vanity this world is built on makes most family home moral value goes down to look for only successful men when a cloak already over our eyes to think racism doesn’t play a roll.look at singer ciara whom don’t consider her self black but a creole bullllshyt

this is my opinion and analysis………black women need to start dating men of other races and quit being “trapped” in a relationship with black men……. black men explore their options with other races all the time…….its abt time black women do the same…….until black women stop being loyal to black men the cycle will continue and black women will remain single, unwed, and unwanted by black men…………

there is also media manipulation and brainwashing too…u never hear in the media abt how many white, latina, and other european women are still single do u???? hmmm???

however it does come down to respect to a certain extent….as long as black women continue to be exploited in music videos, music, tv, and movies u will not gain any respect in the media.. so u have to take a stand and say enough is enough…!!! u rarely if at all see white, latina, asian or other women being exploited the way black women are……why is that??? because u allow it to happen….

..u didnt see this blatant disrepect in the 40s 50s 60s……everyone was trying to love one another……in a sense it all comes down to economic power and political power……black women as a whole dont have the economic power white women do……… dont u see that daytime tv (oprah, tyra, etc etc) are catered to white women not black women……… please black women wake up and make a change like michael jackson said………lol

chictatious1 I for one definitely agree with you. some people take it very personal. I had a guy send me an email with foolish comments. unfortunally everybody doesn’t think like you. everybody is not as open minded as you or mature. some people can’t handle the truth.

I’m not sure if anyone read the willie lynch letter but it has definitely open my eyes to relationships and why some black men are the way they are. willie lynch laws are still active today and plenty of blacks follow them.

I think there are lots of reasons people in general may be without a mate but I’m just going to speak on this presentation. I think a lot of black women are still single because of three reasons: men aren’t willing to step up to the plate, the womens’ standards may be set to high, and trust issues. Lord knows, black men have a bad rap in the worl today. Fellas, its okay to love a woman and do right by her! By all means, it is ok! Ladies just try to lower your standards a bit if they are too high and people just need to be straightforward man. Let each other know what you want when you get together with someone and come to an agreement, if you two want to be together. Truth is, women play a small role in the fact that they are single. It’s us guys who must step our game up to the next level. If you have a beautiful queen(no matter what race) treat her as your queen and you will see that she will treat you as her king. 2010 is a new year, c’mon people lets get it right. We all deserve love, respect, and honesty which seems hard to come by and that’s because a lot of people don’t care. Since I am working on these things myself and I am a lot better than I was before, let me encourage my brothas and sistas to do the same for yourselves and your mate. Love God and love yourself, respect Him and yourself, and be honest with Him and yourself. When you do this, treating others(your mate or anyone else) the way you want to be treated will become easier and easier.

This article is negative…millions of blk women BLESSED wit brains n beauty? come on now…lmao! Black men 25-34 incarcerated n w/o J O B S? come on now! Why do we even write these type of articles? We are tearing down the blk man, and raising up da blk woman…which makes it difficult for any woman to trust a blk man. These articles rip into blk men, calling them homo’s, unemployed or thieves. Wut kind of shyt is this? Then u wunda why they call u b i t c h n date white women…lol! 4 all da real black women on here, trust believe, there are many of us black males, who still have da total pkg, looks, personality, body and attitude, we have J O B S, we wash our azz and take care of our hygiene too! lmao…@this bullshyt of an article! VERY NEGATIVE!!! Most black guys are smart n intellectual *FIND US*

Only God knows why. Start obeying Christ and you may become a wife.

Steve Harvey makes some good points. If you listen to the ladies in the video, it’s easy to see why they are still single.

BreBuffalo, you wrote that you wonder if the women (in the video) were looking for dollars in a man. Most of the women in the video seem to be in a pretty high income bracket; I do not blame them for wanting someone who earns very close to what they are making. It goes back to the male being the head in charge; alpha males are generally on top of their game. These ladies are certainly alpha females, so why wouldn’t they want to be matched with a man who shows these same qualities, one of which is having an illustrious career?

Again, this goes back to black men always wanting their cake and eating it, too. They want to be the head of the household, but then they want black women to make drastic exceptions. Yet, they offer little in return. I’ve been reading this thread and noticed how some of you applauded one young lady for toughing it out and supporting her man for 7 years. Hey, that IS commendable, but frankly, it shows how most of you men are still on your knuckles and expect a woman to come by, dust you off, mold you, finish where your mothers left off (or never started)–and your daddies, too, love your dirty underwear and bring home the bacon. But then you want to say that black women expect too much. No, negros; it’s the other way around–YOU expect too much.

Steve Harvey can’t talk shyt to me about relationships. He’s been married three times and is a comedian. People, stop drinking his Koolaid.

I understand why there is so much tension between brothas and sistas. Sistas mad w/ brothas for not stepping up and overlooking sistas. Then you got brothas dogging out sistas. I think we need to learn to communicate better and respect each other. This is not how we are suppose to be. Brothas should take back their place as kings, husbands and fathers and sistas need to learn to step back and follow. Brothas have it hard out here and sistas just need to take a exhale and realize there are SOME brothas that want to be there and be men. We have got to get back to loving and respecting each other. If the downfall of our race happens will only be at our own hands. BELIEVE!

it’s funny how “society” feels that black women should not dream about landing an ideal man but it is ok and acceptable for every other woman from every other race to dream about her “prince charming”. i have a very mixed group of girlfriends and we all want the same thing from a man: love, respect, be a provider and a decent father. It’s ok for these women of other races to REQUIRE those qualities, but a black woman who asks for the same thing is asking too much?! seriously?

Excellent subject. Black women need to broaden their horizons and consider dating men of all colors. If a black man doesn’t necessarily meet your ideal when it comes to education and achievement, there is nothing wrong with finding a man that does. I find that Black women compromise too early and get pregnant by men that don’t necessarily love them and treat them that well. Its better to wait and consider meeting a sorts of men. I’m personally beginning to think that some black men do better with white women, and that some black women do better with white men. Its a shame that our interests are so different, but really, if we can’t get along, why force the issue? Lets stop worrying about sticking to one race and look for individuals that suit our lifestyles and have similar goals.

i’m not reducing my standards at all. it wouldn’t be fair to the good quality men out there. why should i reduce my standards? for the sake of saying i have a man? i know plenty of women who say they got a man but the man is a little boy. why would I want a man who doesn’t have a job and don’t want a job but he wants you take care of him and be his momma? Why would I wanna play house w/ a nigga for 5-10 yrs with no ring on my finger but plenty of babies produced in that time. why would i want a man i can’t trust? why would I want a man who has 6-7 different babymommas and has never been married to any of them? why would I want a man who is content with the way is life is going which is nowhere and he is not doing anything to change it? my standards are reasonable and I’m not asking for anything I can’t do in return. I refuse to settle. God will send someone my way when the time is right! I am not in a hurry.

omg we been through this before, its because they are angry all the time. simple as that. they cause high blood pressure and stress. they do it to men and other women. see easy.

I enjoyed the inside look at these successful ladies. All are attractive, but single (unmarried). SMH But, I understand how they feel about being over 30 and finding themselves NOT meeting and rarely seeing a potential date or mate in their “neck of the woods.” The additional burden is that many Black men who are suitable (have the characteristics and qualities that adults should have) know they don’t have much competition and take advantage of it by not committing, being a cheater on his mate/wife, being insensitive, disrespectful and having an uncaring attitude as if women don’t have needs, desires, feelings – only they do – so, that makes the “eligible” dating pool smaller or Black women finding that they are in relationships that don’t make them feel happy inside – aren’t satisfying – she just has a man.

When a woman is making 6 figures or just has steady employment where she can take care of herself, if she is in an environment (work/social) where there are men who are not in the same income bracket, close to it or higher, but he has the other traits that are attractive/positive, he’s worth dating. Contrary to popular belief, Black women aren’t primarily looking for mates with lots and lots of money b/c Black people making 6 figures is not very common. For example, Michelle Obama met the then intern Barack Obama. He graduated college, made about 5 figures to her 6 figures BUT he courted her, showed her “you are the one,” kept his promises to her, shared similar goals and values and was as ambitious as she. So, he may not have made the money she made in the beginning; but his drive, his personality, his manners, his look, his values, his being accountable for himself & able to afford his own lifestyle would appeal to the majority of Black women. But, no matter what Black men say, there are NOT a lot of men like Barack Obama. These are the types of men who may be the one in the making or end up the husband who complements his wife/mate, and the two incomes together make a decent life to raise a family and nurture their relationship as life partners.

When a man is low, moderate or no income, where a woman has to pay his way as if she’s his mother or feels as if he’s a Gold Digger and of a pimp-gigolo mentality, it’s a big turnoff for a lot of women, not just Black women. My major turnoff (like many women) is a man who hasn’t established nor shown any initiative to handle his adult responsibilities. Other traits that get many men 25 and older esp. Black men thrown in the “Loser” box are those who can’t speak English without a “ghetto vibe”, play loud music in front of stores, at gas stations, at intersections, pants saggin looking like a fresh release out of prison, loud, thuggish, chauvinistic, illiterate (as we see with poor spelling and comprehension skills of way too many folks on BP), lives at home & not a student nor employed AND doesn’t help whomever he lives with, doesn’t own a vehicle (must rely on a woman or relatives to get around), has never been married but has multiple baby mothers and is a “deadbeat” (even one mother of several children is a turnoff if he’s never been married to her), and other juvenile characteristics and traits that show his lack of maturing and handling his responsibilities as an adult.

I could list more traits that are major turnoffs just at the initial meet or first dates where a lot of Black women are facing a dating dilemma and begin to believe we don’t have the options other ethnic groups of women have, and a lot of it is due to the arrested development of so many Black men in cities nationwide. It’s not all Black men, but there’s a disparity between Black women maturing and being productive in society vs. Black men who are.

yeah you one them who prefered to see blackwoman around and without blackmen cause you want them all to pick and choose from.america wouldn’t be america if ti wasn’t for our ancestors neither europe surprise,and it was jealousy and greed set africa back 2000 years just to put europe on a platform.the same shyt that killed your actors like river pheonix and almost jhonny dept,was push to true black moral family communities when the rich spoiled white folks neglect their drug experiment addict hippies and push them into black communities to downfall that starts the cocain, heroin, crack epedemic.now it’s the guns the only bad thing yall have is how we are still producing when black men don’t get training to creat jobs to look up to themselves than to prove in a dog eat dog world hostility makes you strong to survive while all you see and hear onradio and tv is racail preference.yeah thank michael to break to racail barriers and get rid of him cause he’s to powerful too bad he didn’t break it when he was pale huh huh huh hi got proof that blacks don’t need stolen history to look and feel important,coming soon

You know what…I get really annoyed when black men say “Black women are materialistic and ony care about a man’s money. I’m sorry, is this an exclusive trait to only black women? I don’t think so. Yes there are many golddiggers out there, but black women aren’t the majority of them. How do I know? Because black women aren’t even a majority of the women in the world #1, The amount of black women with a successful or wealthy man are not even 1%, no matter what race the man is. Stop hating on your own fellas. Yes there are bad ones, but as you can see, more black women seek higher education than black men and are trying to come up. Why don’t you men try to see past the bad ones and notice the one who doesn’t buy designer clothes because she is on her savings grind. The one who puts herself through school. The one who works 9-5 to take care of her family.

cause they too damn mean and then they wanna sleep with the dope boys till they get like 3 and 4 kids and then want to hoook up with a real man . Its kinda late when you bring bebe kids and all that baby mama drama to the plate.

Got the men out here singing no more drama …..

Everybody has there own opinions about why black women are single but the everybody deep down inside knows the truth. The reason most black women are single is simply because they asked for too much and they run us black men off. To me personally I think we need to eliminate the black women cause nobody wants them and they are drama and shyte starting. I’m speaking for all black men cause I’m only stating the facts that people don’t wanna hear but its the truth. Black men are too afraid to really tell you this but I’m the first to tell it. The article they wrote is a fact simply, just look around you hardly ever see a black couple with each other nowadays. Its usually black men and hispanic women, black and white, or black or bioracial. Look at the videos now of famous rap stars like Plies, Jeezy, and the rest of them. You see more bioracial or foreign chicks in there videos and hardly straight black women. I know some of you are going to get upset about what I wrote and say, “Ah man this dude is full of BS!” But you might be the reason why we date beyond our race and thats terrible that black men don’t look or respect the black woman anymore. You got a lot of brothers thats been incarcerated and when they do get out its hardly impossilbe to land a job. So all they know what to do is go to the streets and make there money that way cause pretty much they look at it like surivival. In my 28 years I’ve had more problems with black women that you wouldn’t imagine and I’ve upgraded and switched the game up and I haven’t been going down that road. God made the black women different than any other race of women in the world. They are extremely jealous, stubborn, two-faced, and just plain jump starters. Asked yourself this question BP, ” Would you want to spend the rest of your life with a black woman that possesees those qualities.” To me all of them are the same and I frankly give a dam if a black woman is reading this and get mad about. You should jump off a building head first cause we don’t need ya no more. BP is taking over with hispanic and other races just log in and see and I guarantee you 9 out of 10 you will talk to someone of a different race. BAN BLACK WOMEN 2010!!!

The problem is Black women have a bad rep for other races also.. White men ,latino asian and other men Will use them to furthering of their causes like, in the companies and places of busines..and giving them jobs and degrees and kudos when they put a Black man down and in” our places”, And, they themselves will even go so far as to have sex with a black woman, but deep down they themselves, won’t even marry a black woman. Meaning. they are attracted to the black women but not enough to marry them. Because they see how they treat us,Sure they’re are Black women Married to men of different races but it’s a small percentage. Really “American” Black women have the rep for “Disrepecful and difficult to get along with and indifferent with there own men . By me knowing men from other races this is what they tell me in conversations,, really… And because of the “wish list” they have of expectations, that’s more that a green mile long of Really the most assenine things you could ever imagine.Most women will say “Well l’m not gonna settle” because that’s the, classic ,cliche response nowadays,but, When you claim to be independant and you yell it so loud and full of conviction ,then the reality is “Independent” means “alone”? So you will , slowly,without realizing it end up Alone and unmarried if you cant learn, to ease up on trying to find That “perfect” blackman to sweep you off your feet, who loves you for you.But instead alot of Black women today are looking for what he’s wearing , driving or his job title or status in life. Now, that’s cool if you got that type of time and and emotions to spend doing so.. but .. Really.. that’s not always the man that’s gonna make you happy. I feel that the unmarried black woman syndrome, will be a higher percentage in the future, topping 60% if this trend of miscommunication and hatred between us continues..

The problem is Black women have a bad rep for other races also.. White men ,latino asian and other men Will use them to furthering of their causes like, in the companies and places of busines..and giving them jobs and degrees and kudos when they put a Black man down and in” our places”, And, they themselves will even go so far as to have sex with a black woman, but deep down they themselves, won’t even marry a black woman. Meaning. they are attracted to the black women but not enough to marry them. Because they see how they treat us,Sure they’re are Black women Married to men of different races but it’s a small percentage. Really “American” Black women have the rep for “Disrepecful and difficult to get along with and indifferent with there own men . By me knowing men from other races this is what they tell me in conversations,, really… And because of the “wish list” they have of expectations, that’s more that a green mile long of Really the most assenine things you could ever imagine.Most women will say “Well l’m not gonna settle” because that’s the, classic ,cliche response nowadays,but, When you claim to be independant and you yell it so loud and full of conviction ,then the reality is “Independent” means “alone”? So you will , slowly,without realizing it end up Alone and unmarried if you cant learn, to ease up on trying to find That “perfect” blackman to sweep you off your feet, who loves you for you.But instead alot of Black women today are looking for what he’s wearing , driving or his job title or status in life. Now, that’s cool if you got that type of time and and emotions to spend doing so.. but .. Really.. that’s not always the man that’s gonna make you happy. I feel that the unmarried black woman syndrome, will be a higher percentage in the future, topping 60% if this trend of miscommunication and hatred between us continues..

I believe the pickings are too slim on both ends. Those who hold themselves accountable with high standards and expect an equal partner usually find slimmer pickings on the top of the food chain and usually there are more choices because everyone is wanting to put their bid in which makes it more complicated.

Too many women are passing out free samples of their kit kat.

OH Wow!!! This topic is a HOT one…but theres nothing new about it. Too many Good Black women have always had to go without or deal with a cheating man…ie “settle”, so for Black Women..a decent Black man has ALWAYS been hard to find..especially since Black men without HS diplomas and those who are incarcerated dont count, as desirable mates–and they shouldnt. Successful Black men continue to choose non-Black women to date and especially marry, so we have to accept that Black women aren’t seen as beautiful enough or slim enough or “good enough” by most successful Black men.. eventhough non-Black women damn near kill themselves to have our physical attributes. Some of the fault is our own, because we tell too much of our business to our girlfriends, we get too buddy buddy with gay men and white women and we generally have lost our ability to be the damselle in distress. Men seem to need and want women they feel dominate to, (im not talking about a master/slave mentality) but most Black women will never allow themselves to feel subbordinate to a man for any reason. We all know that most non-Black women don’t have the attitude that we do when it comes to certain things and non-Black women put up with alot more bullshyt than we do. Many of us do have a hardness about us, but thats because we…BlackWomen..have to put up with more negative energy than any other woman in the world, which makes too many of us have a chip on our shoulder.
HOWEVER we know just like other women, that theres nothing better than a strong Black man..not to mention that our struggle is the same as a Black man’s struggle, so we have that bond. This is why Black women still prefer the love of a Black man. Black men get beat up all the time by the society we live in, so they dont want to get beaten up when they come home to their woman. So what do we need to do… we need to
1. Stop being buddy buddy with gay men and non-black women….they only want what you have.
2. Stop telling your sexual and financial business to your girlfriends.
3. embrace what it means to be a woman…feminine, but not a push over
4. Remember you don’t have too have the last word… let a man feel like his word and his masculinity is respected…You shouldn’t be dealing with a man who is weak in the first place.
5. stop dealing with broke down Black men who only make you harder on the next Black man…. SISTERS.. IF you feel that you’re a 10—- dont lower your standards to a man who is a 5… you know it wont work out cause youre gonna get tired of carrying his weight. You know you deserve more and better so don’t start out with a fixer upper man. NEVER be content with being a back pocket girl or a booty call…unless thats all YOU want
Know specifically what you WILL not tolerate in a mate.. whether its how many kids he has, and any child support issues, health issues, etc..
When you know what you absolutely WILL NOT deal with then don’t short change yourself just because his sex is good.. YOU see what happend to Whitney Houston.
Sisters.. keep your standards realistic and your fantasizes as fantasizes.. UNDERSTAND what chemistry means for you…for me Chemistry includes “moral compatibility, child rearin philosophy and all the financial, physical and emotional attributes as well…a man’s looks shouldn’t a determining factor.. but NO ONE (unless its an arranged marriage) wants to be with someone they aren’t attracted to-whether its for a date, a booty call or a marriage.
Sisters we are beautiful, we are proud, we are intelligent, we are precious vessels, so NEVER settle just to say you “have a husband” and stop listening to Steve Harvey’s advice what makes him a relationship Guru? ( i guess takes more than one failed marriage to be a guru-so im not a guru…lol)

This article reads as though black womenz are doomed ’cause most of weeezzzee ain’t marries yet.
Across all cultures marriage is getting a bad wrap generally. So why drill down to black women statistics?

It is too bad the fingers are pointing in some of the comments. As some other posters have commented, I believe the article statisic is skrewed. There is a lot of things that are not disclosed/considered like black women that are by choice not seeking marriage.

It is also sad that some guys are attacking single moms. If there is a woman raising a kid(s) by herself (assuming both no assistance from the daddy), there is also a man out there that has left kids behind making him a deadbeat dad. Oh and if he taking care of his kids; perhaps there is baby momma drama. Now what single woman would want to marry a guy that is not taking care of his own kids or have drama with the baby momma? There is two sides to a coin.

I have met some losers and I have met some respectful, down to earth and educated brothers but what it boiled down to, we aint compatiable…and no matter what goes on, the bottom line is compatibility. So folks should not get all pouty and accept their lot in life until they find the right one (no matter what race they be). I am basing my abilities to marry on manipulatable stats.

ladies with the bootylicious holla,

We just don’t need them anymore like ol boy said they cause stress and high blood pressure. And instead of them having our backs on things they downgrade us like what these young ladies are doing now. You never hear about a white woman downgrading white men like the black woman do.

yeah you one them who prefered to see blackwoman around and without blackmen cause you want them all to pick and choose from.america wouldn’t be america if ti wasn’t for our ancestors neither europe surprise,and it was jealousy and greed set africa back 2000 years just to put europe on a platform.the same shyt that killed your actors like river pheonix and almost jhonny dept,was push to true black moral family communities when the rich spoiled white folks neglect their drug experiment addict hippies and push them into black communities to downfall that starts the cocain, heroin, crack epedemic.now it’s the guns the only bad thing yall have is how we are still producing when black men don’t get training to creat jobs to look up to themselves than to prove in a dog eat dog world hostility makes you strong to survive while all you see and hear onradio and tv is racail preference.yeah thank michael to break to racail barriers and get rid of him cause he’s to powerful too bad he didn’t break it when he was pale huh huh huh hi got proof that blacks don’t need stolen history to look and feel important.

SISTERS.. please DISMISS the comment from PRENTISS28.. obviously he hates his Blackness.. especially his BLACK mother and grandmother and Aunties and sisters and any Black female in his family.. OMG….this idiot says WE..”black women” should be banned…lol.. He needs a history lesson on the strength of a Black woman. Im glad men like him dont want Black women… his idealogy is sad and scary. I pray to God that not many Black men think like Prentiss28.

I luv my black women but you guys don’t like to take chances on real men, you guys want what you shouldn’t have. women always want what they can’t have and until you figure that out then it will continue to be that way. its not like men help the problem, and also kids play a big factor if dudes would stop leaving there damn inprint on our women to where they don’t have kids that would be great too.

This is pretty simple, successful blk women think they’re too independent for just one man…ppl have the wrong idea about a “single blk woman”, like the article’s picture showed…a young pretty woman sitting in a nice kitchen lonely as to show that she’s a good woman who’s missing a wonderful man. That is just “BULL”, these so called single women are out there on a prawl every weekend in clubs drinking n going home with a new dude everytime. Just because someone is succesfully financially doesn’t mean that person is a good person in heart. How many can say they’re single and they’re not having sex with someone? This is a bad impressiong that a man gets once he gets to know that particular single woman, men think just because a woman is single she therefore sits at home lonely watch tv, cook, clean n read books. That was the old definition of “single”, like that song said by Jamie Fox….:she’s just like me”. Nowadays these women are proud f the dirt the do saying they can play the same game men play, that only degrade them. Beauty n brain do not mean much, what happened to dignity? self respect? why would a man settle down with a woman who’s pretty and have a greta career? All these things attract a man, what really keeps a man interested is a woman’s character…can she be a good mom? is she loyal? trustworthy? and supportive?

i’m 36, single, never married, no children, never been arrested, have my own job, house, business, credit is nice, etc…etc…etc…and i can’t find a professional black woman to date or even marry. i am usually overlooked by a large majority of black women (as most black men) like this. they are so ossified and blinded…it saddens me to know how i was raised and the message that i give to my nephews about being a stand-up black man is just garbage because black women won’t even look at them because they aren’t 6 feet tall…we will never ever ever make it anywhere because of women like this and the women who prefer black men that are incarcerated over men like me who have jobs. i have a job that i am sworn to lay down my life to save, protect and help women like this who don’t even respect what i do, nor how i am….it is extremely sad, because the women who treat men like this are of the same color. i read this article earlier and have been depressed all day. i can easily say that it doesn’t bother me, but i would be lying to myself, because i am the man that they are talking about that is too short, don’t make enough, too dark, too fat etc…etc…to date them. the message that they are sending to other black women is that no black men are worth anything to society which is a total lie. the message is subliminal, it trickles down from Hollywood, the 10 o’clock news, bad relationships with no-good black men, their own fathers all the way down to the little girls growing up that if you want a black man don’t bother looking….i am totally depressed, worn down and exhausted. i just give up.

LOL, SOME OF THESE COMMENTS R TRU, MEAN BUT TRUE, BUT NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE THE SAME. I STAYED SINGLE BY CHOICE. THEN WHEN I WAS READY, I GOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. AND IF U LOOK AY MY BOYFIREND, SOME WOMEN WOULDNT EVEN GIVE HIM A CHANCE CAUSE, HE HAS BEED LOCKED UP, AND HE GRINDS FROM TIME TO TIME, HE SMOKES WEED. HE DOESNT HAVE THE TOP NOTCH JOB BUT HE DOES HAVE A JOB. I GAVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT CAUSE THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM HALF THE TIME. WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME IS, WE GET ALONG, WE MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH, WE HAVE ALOT IN COMMON. WE DAMN NEAR THE SAME PERSON JUST DIFFERENT GENDER. HELL, I CANT STAND THE SMELL OF WEED BUT HE SMOKES IT AND I ACCEPTED IT, HELL, I USE TO DO IT. AT FIRST MY STANDARDS WAS HIGH BUT I SAW HOW BLACK MEN REACTED TO THEM AND TO BE HONEST I REALLY DIDNT GIVE A DAMN CAUSE THATS JUST ME. BUT ONE LIL DUDE ON HERE WANNA TELL US THAT WE HAVE BEEN REPLACED AND S**T. BUT WHAT HE FAIL TO REALIZE IS THAT HIS MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER AND AUNTS AND SISTERS ARE BLACK WOMEN. AND IF WE NEED TO JUMP OFF OF A BUILDIN FACE DOWN, THEN THEY SHUD JUMP TOO… RIGHT?? I MEAN ITS ONLY FAIR.. LMBAO.. TO HIM, HE CAN KISS MY ASS BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY BLACK MEN, NO MATTER THEIR SHORT COMINGS.. IF BLACK WOMEN ARE SINGLE, ITS BY CHOICE THESE DAYS. AND IF YALL N166AS DONT LIKE IT, SMDH, BUT SO F*CKIN WUT, KICK ROCKS.

hello, my black women this subject is real hot. first of all as far as this topic is, about black women being single. if men in general would treat a women that means something to him, and stop trying to go back and rekindle their baby moma drama. in other words when i women is giving 100% and man is only giving 50%. then we have problems as women, because just because you have kids by your baby moma. does not mean u should sleep with her too, see men have to learn when you have a good thing and you want to exsperiment on someone else. then you men got to step on, because if we choose men that love the lord. then we would not have to worry, about a man that dont care or even loves us. like the message that comes from the movie why did i get married, that tyler perry wrote. these men today want to have their 80% but still wanna go out and get that 20% who dont mean them anything. hey!!! i been married 4 times too many i am not proud of it. i have 2 beautiful girls 25 and 22 and i am going through a divorce now. you see i am not going to let a man beat on me and control me. but that seems like that is all the men i attracted. i am putting all in gods hands as far as trying to find love. and i am just going love myself god and my family. what makes me get over things is singing for god!!!!!! god gave me that gift to sing and i use all the time. happy holidays to everyone.

point blank real men are dying dat’s why most of our sistas go white

HandsomeNegro2HandsomeNegro2
12-29-2009 1:21 pm
Too many women are passing out free samples of their kit kat.

Well said man lol….that’s what it iz

OK can someone tell me, what makes these women “wifey material”????
is it because they have highly paid jobs?
is it because they look good(not all of them look good to me)
is it because they have colllege degrees????

honestly………………..i could give a dam about that!
can they cook THE FOOD THAT I LIKE???
can they properly deal with me when i am in the wrong???
can they push their pride aside and deal with THEMSELVES when EYE am RIGHT?
can they be a true friend?
can they accept me for me???
are they REALLY willing and open to dating white men?(thats an automatic three strikes for me)

these are things that you people forget. this is LIFE! not a dating show or a job interview!!

not ALL men are looking for the same thing.
and personally, SPEAKING FOR RODDRECUS…………..when i am looking for a wife a college degree is NOT even in my TOP 3 things i look for in a WOMAN/WIFE/MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN

I am not basing my abilities to marry on manipulatable stats.

@TRIALS
black women go white the same reason black men go white.
BLACK WOMEN AND MEN ARE NOT ‘STRONG’ ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHERS STRENGTH THESE DAYS.
the generation before us did a good job in basically f**king us over. black women didnt teach women how to be real women and their fathers were not in their lives to teach them what a real man is.black men didnt teach black men how to be REAL MEN and how to know what a REAL WOMAN is and what she is SUPPOSED TO BE!

they date white because THEY are WEAKMINDED!!!!!
they need a walking stick, a punching bag, a pushover. ‘BLACK STRENGTH’ is too much for them. pathetic and excuseless.

BY THE WAY BLACK MARRIAGE IS UP THE HIGHEST SINCE ITS BEEN SINCE THE 70′S WHAT YOU BLACK FEMALES HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?( WHATS YOUR EXCUSE FOR NOT FINDING A GOOD MAN?)

LOOK IN THE FUKCING MIRROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is another reason why I’m enjoying my bachelorhood so me much. Based on this survey, I HAVE THE PICK OF THE LITTER!!! For me a very good reason to stay single by choice.

Why is it so hard for black men and women to have a positive conversation. Here we have an issue, but we are no able to present solutions and if we do it is in the form of what the other sex needs to stop doing.

The truth of the matter is that we don’t have a culture that nurtures marriage. We were never strong families since we reached these shores of America. We were torn a part, put against each other and were made to value material success over character success.

I’m not big on being a victim, but this situation is due to our past and we have not learn to change that by making real commitments to a solid foundation. Black men kill each other on a higher rate because we don’t value our lives. Black mothers don’t value their black boys for what God made them for but instead baby them and provide every excuse for them they commit a crime such as ” they don’t have anything to do. If black women want to get married or want to see their daughters and sons get married you have to prepare them for that at young age. And prepare them for the roles they are going to have to play in their marriage.

Eye’m 30 and i cant find a black woman. BUT UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF BLACK WOMEN eye know why i cant find a black woman for me. IT’S BECAUSE I AM TOO PICKY WHEN IT COMES TO PERSONALITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL NEED TO DO. LOOK IN THE DAMN MIRROR AND BE HONEST WITH YOURSELVES BECAUSE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE HONEST WITH THE WORLD.
a little insight into ROD’s pickyness—— eye DONT date black women whom are willing to date interracially ( do you know HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN that cuts off???!!!) i also will not date bisexual black wome( DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN THAT CUTS OFF????!!!!!)
i will not date black women with kids( DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN THAT CUTS OFF???!!!! ESEPCIALLY IN MY AGE GROUP, I AM 29 YEARS OLD!!!!)

THOSE THREE THINGS ALONE CUTS OFF DAMN NEAR 75% OF BLACK WOMEN IN MY AGE GROUP!!
WAKE UP PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE PLANE AND SIMPLE

simple: black women are bipolar!

I am a retired army,(3yrs active special forces and 19 yrs reserves), speak:german, spanish and french. Educated, world travelled, employed, physically fit ( run 5 miles, 150 push-up, 150 sit-up, and 15 pull-ups per week). I do stand up comedy (open mic / semi professional), and would prefer to date black women, I have never been married, and have no kids………but I get over looked for one major reason……I’m short (5′ 3″). So I get over looked almost sometimes immediatly……and I dont even mind dating a woman taller than me….as Stever Harvey said in the video…..”compromise isnt the same as settling, and your clock is ticking…..ours isnt.”

Sgt Jones

@ DAREALRECKLESS….I totally agree with u, that’s exactly what i’m tryna express…a woman’s beauty, degree or success has nuttin to do with being a woman,a wife or mother…These woman lack dignity, self respect, loyalty and good manners…what we want in a woman is someone who has the above qualities and still be a friend not a ROOMMATE

Take the available black men, eliminate those without a high school diploma, those without a job and the number of black men between the ages of 25-34 that are incarcerated that leaves only half of those black men that’s eligible to pop the question.

Damn they forgot about the gay men too lol!

Black men are too stupid to see how they are not as strong as white men to start a family and maintain it. Lets get to the truth.

We as black people, whenever, we talk about this issue of another issue like to mention how weak white people are, but if that was true then we wouldn’t be in the condition we are in now. We except what our condition is and see each other in the same boat them we would be moving in the right direction.

Black men really have to grow up and take responsibility for themselves first. Become men, look at the white man or any other man and learn from them because you don’t have anyone else teaching you except each other and that isn’t working.

The problem I have with black woman and I am black is so many of them think well I maybe over weight but I am still beutiful, or so what I got a little gut, or this is just baby fat I don’t believe in exercise. Even though this may be true the majority of black men like there woman to have a healthy attractive build. Not only does it say your healthy but it say you take care of yourself inside and out.

This video is nothing to go by. I saw this on Media take-out 1st.
It really wasn’t about Sistas who couldn’t get a man,..it was more about how bad Black men are. As someone already stated, it left out a lot information and was very one sided. These “particular” Sistas were the typical “super successful blackwoman” and they couldn’t get a “male” in 10 yrs? Ridiculous,..you get what you look for,..and they weren’t looking.(until it was too late)-like Akon said you can put that blame on me.

Also noticed they had a laundry list of things they wanted from black men, but all a White guy had to do was just speak to her and it was enough,just mentioning a white male possibility changed the whole mood of the room,(“why didn’t you ask him for HIS #,”..not did he match your list) ..Their only issue was whether or not his Mother would except them?..O.K.?

Sad thing alot of BP “like” to believe these false statistics. (Medsia takeout said these statistics were false, and that more blacks were getting married then in the last 10-20 yrs)-I’d rather believe that

I’m glad I KNOW all black women are not like these, and they know I’m not like the “no good blackmen” they constantly hear about.

IMMA TAKE THIS DUDE’S RESPONSE FOR $200 ALEX:

BUT TO ADD TO IT WE BOTH NEED TO STOP TRYIN TO SEE WHAT WE CAN GAIN FOR OURSELVES…MEN AND WOMEN AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WE CAN GAIN TOGETHER AS A COUPLE…..LET THAT MARINATE FOR A LITTLE AND YOU’LL SEE WHAT I’M TALKIN BOUT…..

Drain_Man_901
12-29-2009 1:45 pm
i’m 36, single, never married, no children, never been arrested, have my own job, house, business, credit is nice, etc…etc…etc…and i can’t find a professional black woman to date or even marry. i am usually overlooked by a large majority of black women (as most black men) like this. they are so ossified and blinded…it saddens me to know how i was raised and the message that i give to my nephews about being a stand-up black man is just garbage because black women won’t even look at them because they aren’t 6 feet tall…we will never ever ever make it anywhere because of women like this and the women who prefer black men that are incarcerated over men like me who have jobs. i have a job that i am sworn to lay down my life to save, protect and help women like this who don’t even respect what i do, nor how i am….it is extremely sad, because the women who treat men like this are of the same color. i read this article earlier and have been depressed all day. i can easily say that it doesn’t bother me, but i would be lying to myself, because i am the man that they are talking about that is too short, don’t make enough, too dark, too fat etc…etc…to date them. the message that they are sending to other black women is that no black men are worth anything to society which is a total lie. the message is subliminal, it trickles down from Hollywood, the 10 o’clock news, bad relationships with no-good black men, their own fathers all the way down to the little girls growing up that if you want a black man don’t bother looking….i am totally depressed, worn down and exhausted. i just give up.

@ Sub-Negro
now take the available black men and eliminate those who DO have a highschool diploma. eliminate those whom have NEVER been to prison. eliminate those WHO ARE working. eliminate those who ARE heterosexual and are between the ages of 24-34 who JUST WONT PUT UP WITH ANY BULL$HIT and you have the SAME problem for black women.

Mr. Reckless isnt buying it!!!!

@Angilix…thanx for the compliment;-)
@Brebuffalo thanx for having my back on the married couples at the club…lol…you are very right!
@iamtrueb***h111 your the stupid one…not me! I didnt need to lower my standards to find my hubby and he wasnt a stranger…he worked at the hospital i did my clinicals at when i was in nursing school…we didnt start dating until 6 months later because he was with a stupid skank like you when we first met. The men arent agreeing with me because im stupid their agreeing with me because im a good ass strong blk woman that knows how to get, treat and keep a man so you need to be taking notes. If you read what i wrote it said lowering you standards doesnt mean you have to settle! All that means is dont expect a man to have everything you want right off rip.
I like how ignorant b***hes like you like to twist a womans words to fit her own twisted view of reality. I had everything i wanted when i met him. Two incomes is always better than one you dumb trick. Why dont you grow up and get some class about yourself. We go to bars clubs plays comedy shows and on vacations…wherever we want to!! Hes not insecure and childish and neither am i…i can hold a conversation with any man in a club or bar if i choose too because he knows who im going home with and so do i! You must be use to those ghetto dopeboys that snatch ya ass up if you even glance at another man?? HAHA…i have a real man…something youll never have with your attitude. So keep sleeping alone or sleeping with random losers, paying your own bills,and being a single mom. If you read my post right i got 3 engagement rings before i ever met my husband and i dont look for men, men look for me. Real recognize real b***h and im wifey material…PERIOD. I dont have to shake my ass on the dance floor to beyonce boo cuz i already gotta ring on it!!
SWAGGALICIOUS B***H GET SOME SWAGG ABOUT YOURSELF>>>I GOT PLENTY TO PASS AROUND

Agustus5, you wrote, “…as Stever Harvey said in the video…..”compromise isnt the same as settling, and your clock is ticking…..ours isnt.”

I posted a thread earlier on the erroneous comment Steve Harvey made. Men DO have biological clocks and they DO tick. Research has shown this. Besides, unless a man is in great physical shape, he’s likely to tire out from taking care of a young child faster than the mother at that age. Why? Because when women have their own children (i.e., carry them themselves), their bodies produce enough hormones to keep them active. Men don’t have this capability.

Steve Harvey was arrogant when he said this, and as usual, wrong.

There is another option that women who want children should consider; get a sperm donor and freeze your fertilized oacytes (eggs). This way, if you still cannot find the right guy, you can still have genetically viable offspring when you are older.

@ DAREALRECKLESS & FrizzelNizzel…….I agree with both of you. A Lot of sisters never sit down and look at what they’ve done and how they can change for the better. It’s always a “he did it thats why I’m feeling this way” thing. I’ve said it on my page for the longest about people stop pointing fingers and point in the mirror. The sooner sisters take account and admit that they mess up too then things will flow better, it’s called self evaluation or reflection. In regaurds to the successful sisters, some of y’all treat a relationship like it’s a job. You can’t do that, a relationship is not a system that’s set up it’s what you make it. All this talk about all the brothers are locked up and uneducated is B.S. plenty of us are here with no jail records no drama no nothing. My grandparents and parents taught me, there is no such thing as the easy way out. You have to struggle somewhere to get where you’re going. A lot of sisters don’t want a little challenge what so ever so the opt for the easy way and get burned for it. Once again look in the mirror it’s no ones fault but yours, we are all individuals.

Well I’ll put it like this speaking from “experience” and this should nip EVERYTHING in the bud. These women that claim to be single and successful have to understand that success on this planet doesn’t mean a DAMN thing! Okay sure you have TONS and TONS of cash that you made by yourself…pat on the back “Good Job”, but how can you love something that doesn’t love you back? Plus the men who they pursue, they pretty much want them to be on the same status…yet what they fail to realize is that any man in this day and age that sees a woman that pretty much has their own..nine times out of ten shes already gonna have sky high standards depending on her past experience, her education, her style and what she has, and most importantly shes not gonna need his help at all because “SHE GOT IT”. So in conclusion the definition of a “Back Pocket Girl” is shes only good to get F U C K E D, and that’s that. Like one sista had asked me “What can a man do for a woman that she cant do for herself that most men cant do right?” her answer was that the only thing a man can do for a woman that already has her own is give her pipe, but most of us cant do it right and in conclusion that why women have toys. When I heard that, that broke my heart…BUT then you gotta look at why! The majority of us BLACK MEN are so stuck on ourselves mainly because of the repetitive process that we continue to put ourselves through..its called the “Where da hoes at?” syndrome, or “Im just tryna F U C K” mentality. So of course these women don’t wanna deal with us that can’t read, can’t talk, always bragging about how much cash we got, the whips we push, the clothes we buy, and how FLY we are. Sure nobody wants to deal with someone UGLY, much less be around them, but seriously the love starts within. We were all once virgins and we ALL had a mom or a dad in our lives that taught us what to expect and how to carry ourselves. Not saying everybody was taught the same morals in the house hold, but everybody was taught to respect one another. Now truth be told…I’ve dated women LIKE THE WOMEN THAT WERE PRESENTED IN THE VIDEO, who made six figures or pretty much had it MADE! ALL THAT THESE WOMEN WANT IS A HUMBLE MAN WHO DON’T HAVE TO EXPRESS THEIR BIG EGO!! Ladies and Gentleman I’m just a computer technician who pretty much is in a HEAP of debt, yet I’m handling mine, I’m self sufficient, I cook my own, pay my own bills, I don’t have any kids nor am I trying to be a BABY DADDY! The MAJORITY of these women that you see out here will accept YOU for YOU only if YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP YOURSELF!! All you have to do is at least HAVE A JOB, HAVE A DECENT VOCABULARY, HAVE BRAINS not just book smart wise, but street smart wise and BEYOND! Sure we all can have religion in our lives but most of us are hypocrites by the thousands….so practice what you PREACH!!! Not to mention KNOW THYSELF!! If its one thing I learned about women who dress to impress, is that they do this because THEY want to feel special about themselves and like to look good and attractive to ANY RACE. Yet there are a lot of infiltrators out there or chameleons that aren’t always gonna have the same intentions. Now for us BLACK MEN out here that DON’T have sense and pretty much have different intentions for all the women out here (all races), being as though all you know is what you seen on the corner, at ya boys crib or at the club V.I.P section, THOSE WOMEN who give the ones out here that are willing to be in a REAL relationship a bad name, who want all of your money, his money, and just about anybody that’s willing to give it up basically because “Nyggas aint Shyt”, If you continue to deal with those in pursuit of P U S S Y alone, then guess what?? You can’t talk about these women setting SKY HIGH standards! Same goes for the ones who are forever trying to “Holla” at everything walking and got a jiggle to it mainly because your just trying to accomplish in what most of these songs you hear out here, and that’s it! The fact that once you HUMBLE yourself, and don’t have to put on a front that your somebody important to everybody or some superstar, or got a street team, be it both male or female…GOBLIN or GOON, THEN SHE WILL THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND WILL BE ABLE TO BE COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU OUT OF ALL THE MAKE UP AND HAVING HER HAIR DONE UP IN ALL THE WEAVE, IN AND ALL OF THOSE FAKE ATTRIBUTES THAT MAKE HER SEEM INTIMIDATING TO THE MAJORITY OF US MEN OUT HERE! I say I speak from experience because I too used to be that a*****e out there that was like “Eh shaaaaaawtay lemme holla atcha!?” bases off what I seen and what my “NYGGAS” portrayed. I ended up grooming myself to the better from being a boy, a young man, a dumb nygga, and now to a humble man! What makes a man humble is when he looks at women…such as them and says “Damn..I am the reason why they have become who they are”, yet its not too late to change. We just gotta look at ourselves 1st!

That comment is not geared towards any other women on here just the dumb b***h i typed in;-)

Mizerysfinest,

You wrote about black women passing up black men who are not over the height of 6 ft; what about the black men who do not EVEN consider a large-sized woman?

Because Blackmen want white women or asian and latino it’s frustrating to go on a dating sight and look at what race men are interested in and it’s always white women asian or latino if they cant get white and that’s black and white men i’, m not apposed to dating outside my race whitemen arent attracted to black women. on this sight it’s alot of white women on here and they can scoop up all the blackmen i am a single mother of a teenager got it going on and blackmen are not attracted to me and most of these men have 3 or 4 kids and different mamas to go with it so i’m good but it’s a fact that Black women are strong, beautiful, successful but no man oh well my daughter is going to college in a couple of yrs and i just hope she does better in the dating game than me . I’m her role model she says and at the end of the day that’s what important not a relationship . Blackmen dont know what they are letting go….HMMMMM

Also in response to the brothers talking about height….trust me height has nothing to do with it, I’m 6’3 and I’ve been single 5 years, have a degree, currently going on with my education, Don’t have a jail record, I don’t have kids & i have a job. I still get over looked, I think personally most women are following what the media tells them about the perfect man is supposed to be. By all means let them do that because there are still a good percentage of women who will ignore the flaws and see you for you. That’s those 42% listening to non sense.

Some of that 42% might include gay women, which if you break it down between heterosexual and homosexual women – that percentage will undoubedtly change. It will also explain why that number is so high. Do some more homework HB.

42% ??? WHAT?? thats some very good news for me, I think I’m gonna leave Belgium and move over to the US.
Let the haunt begin lol….
Anyway, it can’t be that 42% of black women are golddiggers, bad women, liars, cheaters, drama, etc…. It simply can’t be 42%…..impossible.

I’m not american, I’m only observing from outside of the forrest you know, and what I see is a devaluation of the image of the black man AND the black woman. Its all over the television for YEARS now….. Today all they promote is gay and lesbian, like its a hype, you’re cool if you’re a fag, no offense to those who sincerely are gay, really. But today this image is imprinted in your minds using “entertainment” (mainly television). For ages now, the black woman is the “dancing s**t” in many rap video’s, just to name one thing. In the same way the black man is depicted as “a playa” etc…. its a shame because once the black race was VERY civilised, much more then we are today.
Its a divide and rule trick going on, and it’s going well I see.
Why did they wan’t so called “emancipation” and women to work?? not to give you equal chances etc…. but because they could tax twice as much people, and they broke the connection between a child and its mother. The state will raise the kids and brainwash them…. Those kids get white teachers, and so will they create their idea of their partner to raise their own kids, because this is what they’ve seen. All this on itself reenforces the breaking down of the image of the black man and -woman. The real reason why they want to eliminate the black race, is not because of the color of the skin, the real reason is because the genetics of the black race don’t allow them to brainwash and mindconrtol that easily. It is possible, but its a hard job…. so they hope that the mixing with other races will bring (for them) a solution. Just look at all the wars going on lately, its all against black people!! open your eyes!!
more on mindcontrol you can find on jewtube and search for stewart swerdlow, expansions.com .
I’ll tell you something. I had a few white girls, I tried my best and every time I got fukkd up in some way. So I came to meet a Nigerian girl, she was a real beautiful woman, and I can guarantee you, this made me open my eyes, this made me see that it IS possible to find a good woman. My profile on here is a new one, but I’m on here for much longer now, and I met some great woman on here, some of them are on my yahoo and we chat from time to time….. these women even cry because they can’t seem to find a good man, and yes, I’m talking about good descent woman, not some Rihanna, Spears or Oprah type of girl. I can tell you, if I’d live in the US…. I’d know what to do.
If you can’t find a good woman in the US, is simply because you look at the wrong qualities in a woman when you’re looking for a partner. If I receive a note from a woman who’s showing her goods in her profile picture, I’m not even interested…. I want a woman who respects herself, cause only if she’s able to do that, she’ll be able to respect someone else. Secondly, what remains to discover when you can see all on her profile. Indeed, a waste of time and effort. Yes, there are black women who are golddiggers just like white golddiggers. If you know how to listen to a woman, you’ll hear it when she’s a golddigger….they always tell you in some way.
Oh yes, I had a bad experience with a black woman, and so what? life goes on, I learned to look at “who” a person is, instead of everything else.

Well i have read most of the comments and i must say that i am sick to my stomach of ALL of the remarks of the people on this forum. I am multi racial my roots being in the Islands, but i have watched and sat back and listened to both sides. I have never seen so many people hate themselves in such a way. You may wonder what i mean by saying that. The reality is that when you degrade yur own race by calling them ‘no good’ or ‘banish them’ you’re referring to yourselves included. Is this how you feel about your mothers, fathers, aunts uncle and grans? this cancerous opinion based negativity is the EXACT reason why so many are discouraged in life. like the borther who said he gave up on finding the right ‘one’. The fault lies in each individual peron and they’re actions and what they have done in their lives. please stop blaming an entire race on why you can’t find miss or mr. right. If you havent found the one has it occured to you that maybe the one your looking for isnt in the places that you have been looking…..or even better the type of people you have been dating? As far as saying that we should ban ALL black women i feel sorry for you my brother for blaming a women for your high blood pressure and lack of fullfillment bc the last time i checked blood pressure and personal happiness is for the individual in whoms health it is to take care of themselves. the problem with the expressed opinions of most of the men and women on this forum is that everyone wants to point a finger but no one wants to take the blame. reality is this; we are responsible for our own choices in life. I have been hurt many times by black men, and i am an intelligent and physically attractive female. but i dont blame all black men for tose men doing those things to me i blame the individuals themselves and keep things moving. i dont think every other black man i come across is going to treat me wrong bc that would hinder my love life let alone the ability to find the person who’s roight for me. i have also dated outside my race bc i am not one to limit love. nd i find that its not the race its the person individually. if a person is trifling it doesnt matter if theyre black white hispanic or aisian they are whi they are. with that said i can understand why both men and women of african american decent are tired of each other for many reason:
Men- stop getting upset that your being degraded if you have worked hard to be what and where you are no one can takje that from you continue to do what you have been doing and you will be fine
stop worrying about finding the next beyonce or alicia keys to be ya wifey sometimes the best partners are the ones seen with your heart and not your eyes. nothing wrong with having standards but jay z has beyonce bc he is star status, when you are CEO and making ridiculous money then you can find plenty of video vixens but would you really want them? bc its hard to tell if she loves your money or you
stop claiming black women put you down and how hard it is for a brother out here. stop getting locked up for dumb stuff and leaving your kids without fathers and picking the most ghetto loudmouthed uneducated girl to be ya baby moms bc she has a fat ass….ask yaself if you can see yourself with her in 18 years before going raw. ALSO stop using the excuse that bc you’re black you’ll never get ahead i think that excuse got shelved after the first black president was elected.
Ladie- its nothing wrong with picking up a check once in awhile stop relying on him to pay your bills and take care of you you are a grown woman.
stop blaming him for why you cant find a man. reality is women look for the bad boys bc they think they can change him. let that go and fiund a man with a job and benefits that you can grow old with bc bad boys usually end up in two places: jail or the grave and there is no future in both.
Stop putting him down bc he works at kmart or Walmart a job is a job and we have to start somewhere……as long as he’s not content with pushing carts all his life, or even if so he’s damn good at it then enoughs enough….they both come with 401k’s believe it or not. And sto trying to use the excuse that you’ve been hurt before as an excuse to give him attitude or treat him wrong no one wants someone who’s constantly on ‘b***h mode’ all day long.
and People- communitcation is key talk to each other when things are going wrong and be open to listen too. thats the problem no one listens and most have nothing much to say ….Dont you see? somewhere some caucasion asian hell indian person is sitting back and watching these comments and saying to themselves ‘this is why they will never have anything and why they will always be the minority’…..you never see asians act this way this is why they ownhalf your malls andhair stores selling you what you need, this is why the hispanics own your corners, or the cambodians are doing your nails while you sit back and pay them all out of your pockets. they get rich bc blacks will never succeed at anything together as long as they keep a mentality like this…..Thats all i have to say on this matter i wish you all well……

JTfacts, we’re both using stats from the same source. You are saying that yours which apparently includes incarcerated men states there are more available men.
Mine that does not include incarcerated men I’m saying shows that there are not enough available men.
You also want to use a range of 20-39year olds. Well those two age ranges don’t date each other. I’d go with a 5 year range and even in that range your pickings are slim. You’re missing the point of this whole discussion. Sure if these women wanted to marry a man they could, but they don’t want just any available man. they want a suitable man, and I don’t blame them.

This research isn’t done by our own people for our own people…It was done by ABC…DON’T TRUST IT. They really don’t care about our relationships or our people. If they did, they wouldn’t portray us in the media the way they do every chance they get. They would show us in respectable light. It’s just another ploy to have us at each other, and to make some of us feel like shyt. I love my black women good and bad. I’ll never stop loving them.

Angilix,

ages 20-39 do date each other. Women generally date and marry older men. This is mainly because when women are ready to reproduce & settle (late 20′s), they choose a person who is more established to contribute.

my bad i didnt spell check but ya’ll get the point :)

42% Of Black Women Still Single
and the rest of them are gold digging singles lol

I DONT BELEIVE THESE STATS ARE ACCURATE, BUT PEOPLE NEED TO STOP HANDLING RELATIONSHIPS AND ITS PROBLEMS LIKE SUM OLE REALITY SHOW!

I hope my 2 cents will help calm down the blaming and fire that is being blown at one another. There are many reasons why this stat maybe true and its much deeper than Hello Beautiful and some can see or want to admit. SELF HATE AND POSTRAUMATIC SLAVE SYNDROME WITH A BIG SCOOP OF WILLIE LYNCH ON TOP. THERE THATS IT, ALL SUMMED UP WITH A BOW ON TOP AND THOSE OF US WHO ARE AWARE, KNOW JUST WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. WE CAN START CORRECTING THIS PROBLEM BY GETTING BACK TO RESPECTING GOOD MORAL AND CHARACTER. MARRYING AND HONARING OUR VOWS INSTEAD OF LOOKINT AT COMMITMENT AS A DEATH SENTENCE. WE UPHOLD MATERIALISM AND FOUL CHARACTER ( I KNOW ALOT OF MALE AND FEMALE W***ES THAT ARE MARRIED TO GOOD PEOPLE) ANYWAY GETTING BACK TO BASICS LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELF . TRUTH IS WE ARE SO BENT ON LAYING DOWN WITH WHITE PEOPLE AND MAKING BABIES WITH THEM SO OUR KIDS CAN LOOK A CERTAIN WAY THAT SOON ENOUGH EVERYONE WILL BE CONSIDERED MIXED AND SO IF THATS THE CASE WHY EVEN HAVE THIS CONVERSATION…….

when talking about “standards” i never hear anything about character. a person’s life can take a 180º in a heart beat for reasons beyond their control. there are plenty of homeless PhDs on the street and former high 6 fig income earners who are now working at Wal-Mart or are stay at home dads/moms.

as far as women and inter-racial dating …if a woman marries and has a bi-racial/mixed child she better pray that relationship lasts. because if not, she’s pretty much relegated to the race of her former husband. very few men will accept a woman of their own with a bi-racial child. for the record, i don’t have anything against either gender doing this.

42% Of Black Women Still Single
58% of black women still spoiled rotten

How can you discredit statistics without any other research…..you just say you disagree huh? lol.

Let’s stop running from the problem and deal with it head on.

If men set the same standards, the ladies would be in trouble. Let’s say men started asking for a girl who makes 100K or more, has a nice body, has a nice car…………..or else. That would knock out 95% of girls.

And if everyone wants to date up….nobody dates.

@Worlds_best_taxman, what are you talking about? That’s almost a 20 year diffrence. These people don’t date each other. We’re not talking Hollywood and Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife here.

Since so many people have shared their opinions I may as well do the same. I think that a lot of us (black women) are still single because we are afarid to admit that we need a man. Not for finances or because we don’t know how to be alone or love ourselves, but because we have been taught to be independent and to depend on ourselves to the point where we kind of look at men and say “why do I need him, I can do this, that and the other myself”. What we (women) need to realize is that we can not do everything a man can do. We can raise our male children to be respectful and have manners but we can not teach them how to be a man; we need a man in our lives for that. We can teach our daughters to be well rounded ladies but we can not teach them a father’s love. I’m very independent, educated, well rounded, down to earth and I have a great personality; the issue I have with men and the reason that I am stillsingle is that I find that men either don’t know what they want, are still into playing games or are intimidated by a female that may have more education than him or makes more money than he does. None of these reason make any sense to me but these are some issues that I have found. Another reason I elect to remain single at this point is because I do have standards but I don’t think that is unreasonable. It’s really quite simple, and everyone should have some type of standard (male and female). It’s not unreasonable to ask that a potential mate be employed, some what educated, able to support himself, not be a substance abuser, have a nice personality, be a good role model and have some sense oif pride about himself……not a lot to ask but hard as hell to find. I also feel that alot of women got a little fed up with men during the whole “hoe, trick, b***h” phase that some men seem to have gone through (some of you are still there). We don’t like to be disrespected…period!! Ithink women were on a mission to prove that we were not that, we were more than that and in our quest to disprove this myth that we were not what some would have us believe that we were or accept what was being said about us. Bottom line is that none of us can live in this world alone, we all need companionship, we were not put here to be alone. If we can get past the crap, the games and all of the bull…we can find our mates but it seems like everyone is out for self. I got mine go get yours, I’m gonna get you before you get me, etc…with this frame of mind..we never gonna find eachother. Just my two cents ya’ll….blessings.

O AND WORLD BEST TAX MAN I WANTED TO ADD TO YOUR COMMENT. WOMEN ALSO END UP DATING OLDER MEN BECAUSE THE MEN IN THEIR AGE BRACKET 20-42 OFTEN ARE NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN. IT SEEMS THE MORE SUCCESSFUL THE BROTHER THE LESS CHANCES OF HIM SETTLING DOWN AT A NICE AGE BECAUSE NOT ONLY ARE SISTAS WILLING TO GIVE THEM THE GOODS BUT THEY HAVE WHITE WOMEN AND LATINOS CHASEING THEM. ITS LIKE PARADISE AND THEY ARE IN HEAVEN EVEN THE ONES WHO DONT WANT TO WORK ARE CHASED LOL SO ITS SAD I OFTEN SEE WOMEN 25 HAVEING TO DATE 45 YEAR OLD MEN AND UP BECAUSE THEY ARE READY TO SETTLE AND BUILD A LEGACY. SO AS A RESULT I SEE A GENERATION OF FEMALES WHO HAVE ADAPTED A MAN LIKE MENTALITY ( SCREW EVERYTHING THAT MOVES DONT WORRY ABOUT COMMITING CAUSE THE MAN AINT GONNA COMMIT SO WHY BOTHER) AND I SEE A LOT OF THEM WHO JUST OPT TO BE LESBIANS THAN RISK BEING HURT …. THIS IS SAD

Angilix,

You’re taking the two extremes to make your point. your’e saying a 20 yr old and a 39 yr old; i agree, that’s far fetched. However, a 25 yr old and a 33 yr old is common place. So is a 39 yr old and a 29-30 yr old.

We can not ommit data that is plausable. The extreme is not “probable”, which is why its an extreme and on the far ends of the age range.

Amazingly sad is the commentary by the posters more than the statistics. The demographics of such an article vary from city to city, regardless of income or education levels.

@Live_Agian4u – Thank you for your post. The self hatred is through the roof and its a shame you had to get frustrated to post it but I’ve said it over and over again.

Some idiot posted about the desire to date outside their race due to the inability to handle the strength of blackness… How sad of a statement is that?

I guarentee each and everyone of you, if you start with self improvement first, you won’t even have time to read stuff like this.

Enuf_b-enuf,

Why should anyone have to be “strong enough” for anyone; this is not a competition. We don’t need to begin making excuses for not being dicipline enough to consider someone else’s point of view and be respectful at the same time. That seems to be defined as “strong”, and i know we’re better than that. That’s a lazy cop out.

worlds_best_taxman, and rightly so, the individual I was having this discussion with JTfacts, was using an extreme range and my suggestion was a smaller range, preferably five years but eight is reasonable also.

Some blk women f**ked up mindz! Im 5’6 male, single wit no kids and looking for short women like 5’0-5’5, I’ve worked hard, got money and keep looking to marry them so why they prefered tall guy like 6′ without meet short guys…huh? :(

AS FAR AS MEN SETTING STANDRDS THEY ALREADY DO, WHY DO YOU THINK WOMEN ARE RUNNING OUT GETTING THEIR ASS INJECTED AND BREAST BLOWN UP. ITS NOT TO ATTRACT EACH OTHER!!!!! AS FAR AS HAVING TO MAKE 100,000 MEN COULD CARE LESS AS LONG AS U GOT A PHAT ASS ( HOW SHALLOW IS THAT LOL) aND NOT ONLY SISTAS BUT WHITE WOMEN AND WOMEN IN OTHER CULTURES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TAUGHT TO GO AFTER SUCCESSFUL MEN. EVEN ANIMALS ARE ATTRACTED TO THE STRONGEST BIGGEST …… SO I JUST WISH THE MEN WOULD RESET THE STANDDARDS AND NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY SUCCESS AND APPRECIATE SISTAS WHO CAN CARRY A DECENT CONVERSTATION NOT TURN TRICKS AND MAKE HER ASS DROP AS THE BROTHERS ARE SINGING ABOUT ON THE RADIO..LOL LOL

catgirltx_you say some women opt for lesbianism because they don’t want to be hurt. i witnessed a lesbian calling their mate the b word in public. so, i guess you an be hurt in any type of relationship

Does this story depress anyone besides me? I’m not as accomplished as these women but I got my thang together and I’m able to take care of me and mines without any type of financial assistances from anyone…but if they can’t get a “good man” to marry them….what am I gonna do? I don’t have that many requirements; steady job, honest, and faithful. But these are things I’m unwilling bend just to be with a man….I’d rather be single if it means putting up with some BS.

Easy. Black women don’t want the good guy. They want the roughnecks.

They’re too stupid to recognize a good man when they see one.

That’s why.

This was a really good piece. There is a book that I think is interesting “Don’t Blame it on Rio”, that, in part, talks about some of the frustrations of professional Black men in dating. As a professional Black man, I do feel that Black women often settle for someone of “lower” standards, but when it comes to me or other educated Black men, they have “higher” standards and certain requirements. No one should settle, but a relationship is about compromise.

catgirlTX,

Well put.

Wow everyone has lot to say… I wonder why are there so many race comparisons? if you put a blindfold on then can you really tell the difference? No. Most Women are still single because of the fact that the level of moral has not been met. It’s not standards its moral and respect. And Respect is not only on your approach but your understanding and willing to work with some one. Yes see these women are sucessful but that does not mean that they should connect with some one successful as well and visa versa. Just because you have more than someone else does not mean that you are or shoud be out of reach for your soulmate. And that goes for the so called 42 % that are single. As far as the men are concerned you have created these monsters such as the gold diggers and you have to clean it up along side the elder females who care about the younger generation. I shake my head at many who have posted because you fail to see that we have a duty to teach those who do not know the way. Each day that we are on this earth we learn something new and we must help those who have not grasped that knowledg as yet. It doesnt matter if you are of the darker or lighter skin color we are all the same neither race is higher than the other. WE ARE THE SAME we came from the same place except we all went our own ways after that day on that tower/mountain etc ..Ya’ll know what im talking about if not get a bible. When we left there we spoke different languages and not until recently we realized we realized that we looked different and instead of embracing it well you know the rest. When there are articles posted with these “statistics” it just shows that we always want to analyze something and put a meaning to something that we really do not understand. Understand tha not every one should be with a partner but the way society proclaims love as being with the a mate then we all think that this is the way to go and if I cant find someone then there is something wrong! No it is not. Be happy and be free. With this article we now have another name and label and group to put the women who maybe just taking their time. We call them them the 42% The stuck up the boogie etc. Why do yu care if they are still single are you willing and ready to take on the task of making them happy?

Get off your high horse and stop passing so much judgement. None of us on here are better than each other.

As I have always said you sometimes have to clean your diamond before you can bask in it’s shining light.

B***hez fault! They tried DL to meet and had sex with sxy thug or broke niggaz then got preggies before they left…huh? U know what b***hez I quit jobs! I turn thug now I wont spending any blk women anymore….Peace!

EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT!!!!
Here lies the LAST of the OLD MAIDS CLUB! they were SEXY(back in the day), SMART (too smart for their own good) and they died as VIRGINS! what a waste, too good to sell it, but not bad enough to give it away!
one day they will wake up on their death beds and wonder about johnny they met 30 years ago who pined after her and wanted her to marry him but she was just too good for him; he was BELOW HER STATION as her mother put it!
so he eventually got married to a lil girl who was half his age and worked in a resturaunt and he put her through college and she graduated and got a great job and left him for her boss!
but at least he was happy – for a little while!
my Granny called them educated fools!
ladies what are you going to do with the littl time left to you here- pursue goals- or go after real and true happiness!
its not how much you have but the quality of what you have!
live together- die ALONE!!!
stop asking for the impossible and no real man is going to change himself to please you anyways- you would not do it for him either!
BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…..
I hear the sound of millions of vibrators turning on suddenly!!!!

For the Women and especially TooGood612- Don’t look at one video and get depressed. There are alot of good men out there and more than is getting reported. Go get what you want and don’t wait around for the men to come to you. I am a man and I had certain standards for the woman I wanted to be my wife. A little story: When I first saw my wife walking down the street, I couldn’t jump out of my car to meet her at the time, so the next week, at the same time and same day, I came back to the spot I saw her and waited to introduce myself. I waited for 2 hours and didn’t see her. Did I give up? No. I did the same thing the next week and I still didn’t see her. I happened to see her later on the F train in Brooklyn. I was ready. I introduced myself, gave her my number and the rest is 15 years of a happy marriage. I am telling this story to say that you shouldn’t wait on life. GO GET WHAT YOU WANT. Go where the men are and find someone with mutual interest.

All this talk about standards come on it is what this individual wants and who are you or myself to say they are to high. If you do not agree with what they want then keep it moving with a smile. AND DO NOT HOLD GRUDGES that is one of the problems that we have now a days grudges! AS far as men only wanting a big ass well guess what that’s what women look to go and show off as well (SHALLOW MOMENT) and it trickles off to the ones who dont have big butts and they kill themselves to get there( ANOTHER SHALLOW MOMENT). BUT HOLD ON LADIES we have our shallow moments to dont put all the blames on the males. WE like a man with a big D!ck now dont we. And we hear all the time but dont pay attention” ITS NOT THE SIZE THAT MATTERS BUT THE MOTION IN THE OCEAN” I hear them horses pulling in. So demount and start opening your eyes.

A PERSON has to Want a relationship. Man or woman there is something that goes on in the mind…that switch clicks to on or off in people to where they either WANT or don’t want to be in a relationship and put in the work it takes to STAY togeather with someone else.
Nowadays at least here in the U.S., People are so concerned about “Instant Gratification” that NOT MANY PEOPLE consider the Selfless Dedication it tkes to stay with someone and possibly raise children. MOST folks are just out for what they can get ie. sex,money,property…
I’m single and I would give about anything to meet a woman I could trust and grow with – but since I’m not a millionaire; and I’m not into screwing people over- The women in my city don’t know how to come at me. Fear of sincerity on their part I guess,when you DO find someone-You gotta be straight up.

Why so many thumbs down lol this is very amusing and somewhat true. Ever wonder why we date outside of our race? SMDH @ yall

most black women are still single because latinas, whites, and asians, look better, are nicer, and they don’t have the nasty attitude that many black women have. but, there are some black women who are also good looking, nice, and without those nasty attitudes. I guess those are the 58% that are not single. lol.

I agree that most of the successful sisters like in the video have very high standards and that’s one of the problems. Another problem is a lot of successful black men on their level are dating and marring other types of women Latinos, Asians, whites or black women outside of America. A lot of brothers feel like they get treated better by other races. The other thing is you have a lot of black women choosing the wrong type of dudes to date and then end up with kids and out of shape. Me Personnel I value black women and have a deep love for them.

I don’t post comments on blogs that often but I feel like it after reading all of these comments. I’m 25 never married, no kids, good job, got my own place etc. etc. and in my experience with dating it boils down to compatibility. Alot of these so called sucessful women with money and high expectations have only that and nothing else. A man or womans financial status does not determine overall compatibility it only compliments a relationship. Bottom line , alot of us brothers (ya’ll know who you are) need to step your game up stop playin madden smokin weed and go be somebody. A alot of independent ” I don’t need a man” women need to stop with all these damn tests, checklists and high expectations and give ppl a chance before you make a final assessment. I guarantee that percentage would decrease and there would be better relationships between us.

I just thought about something. this is to defend the black women. the black women are mostly single because the black men in america are a disgrace. think about, the least educated, are black men, the highest crime rate, black men. black women decide, being single is better than being with those n*ggas. i wrote this so that i give both sides of the story, so don’t get mad at me, get mad at what happens in your country.

@ johny_thomes, I’m not surprised at what you posted, because it seems that so many people who are not of african descent seem to know who we are or the greatness that we came from except most of us as african people. There are much more higher elements involved in this situation then what most would think. I mean people it’s really time to wake up here we are under massive attack all over the world. At the end of the day your fuccin degree or your high standards aint gonna help you ! The same elements that are seperating the african man and woman from coming together is the same thing that’s causing havoc all over the world. It’s time to come up with solutions, but we can only come up with solutions if we as africans understand what the hell happened to us, HOW DID WE FALL FROM GREATNESS. Then we can set some thing in motion for the next generation coming up because in this generation so many of us are lost. The information is out there LEARN IT, UNDERSTAND IT, AND BUILD FROM IT.

Jda4th2005
12-29-2009 3:35 pm
I don’t post comments on blogs that often but I feel like it after reading all of these comments. I’m 25 never married, no kids, good job, got my own place etc. etc. and in my experience with dating it boils down to compatibility. Alot of these so called sucessful women with money and high expectations have only that and nothing else. A man or womans financial status does not determine overall compatibility it only compliments a relationship
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CAN EVERYONE READ AND COMPREHEND WHAT THIS MAN HAS JUST STATED????????????????????????????????? TRY VERY HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DONT KNOW THE MEANING TO THE WORD "COMPATABILITY", WEBSTER HAS AN ONLINE DICTIONARY AND IT IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ I_AM_BACK_4_MORE
judging by your statement, you are an ignorant,unintelligent fool!

Why are we still stuck on ” The Other Race” ? Why is there so much envy that is such a huge part of the problem. If you are affluent then that’s great pat on the back now let loose and have fun! and for all you who keep putting the males who smoke and etc down. Some of them turn out to be better than those I drink wine males. Females smoke to and if you dont want a smoker well dont knock it just keep it moving goodness. And you know what have you ever heard of opposites attract. And those Thugs make some high standard lady happy… They just not posting

I think this article is stupid because for one why limit yourself to black men? Try dating men of other races. 2…Everyone should have standards but I do agree that a lot of women set their standards too high. I have always said that as long as my man can provide and take care of a family (the legal way) I don’t care what type of work he does. When Michelle Obama met Barack she was practicing law and I think he may have had a job but he definitely did not have a lot of money. She said that didn’t matter to her. She saw his potential. Material things don’t mean anything because you can have it all one day and it be gone the next. I have often heard my girlfriends make comments about how they need a man that makes this amount of money annually, can buy me this or that blah blah blah…and I am like are you marrying this man because of what he can provide financially or are marrying him because you love him? I have a lot of male friends and we talk about this all the time. In order to find true happiness you gotta look beyond the superficial stuff…that is what I believe. None of us are perfect and we all have our faults.

I can see why our black women are single and why no “black” man is looking their way! Most educated black women, even the ugly ones, want a black man who doesn’t exist! The average man is not over 6ft tall, looks like a model, makes $150,000 a year, has no kids, has a mandingo dick, drives a benz, and on and on and on and on……….. Their standards are too damn high and in this video, it’s evident why all four of these black women are single. They have extraordinary high standards and every year they “decide” they will drop a few things off the ridiculous laundry list. I laugh at women like that b/c those are the ones that end up with 3 cats or dogs to keep them company at home and get upset when they see a black man with a white, latin, green, red, woman. The same “black” man they didn’t give the time or day when he tried to holla!

You build your standards for marriage on money then you will divorce for the same reason!

None of these so called successful single, “never-been married” women can say that they’re VIRGINS or saving themselves for the right person….they tell u what they want u to hear, truthfully these women are gettin d*ck or lick from sumone who they’ll never consider to marry

ALL black people need to read this!!!
http://www.thetalkingdrum.com/wil.html

Not just black women but most women of all races get so caught up in finding a catch instead of finding LOVE. You can’t waste your life waiting for your “Knight in Shining Armor” to come and rescue you. In other words, a man doesn’t have to have all the finer things in life to be a good man. You can use the age old excuse saying, “Ain’t no good black men,” or “They either in jail or married.” But that’s just an excuse for you to wait for “Mr.Right.” Just remember, you “Knight In Shining Armor” may not have all the Shining Armor…

my parents married young and broke now they are old and rich, black women dont want to build anything anymore, they want a man to build it all for them.

@Darealreckless Save the caps… what I posted makes sense. If your going to question my use of compatibility in statements you should make sure to at least spell it correctly. But that’s cool it’s all love let me take you under the wing….Compatible: “The ability to exist and perform in a harmonious or agreeable combination.”

i had an aunt and uncle who were married for 52 years. after he died, she told me that she knew she wanted to marry a man who worked. she did not specify income, educational level, or skin shade. my uncle did work and so did my aunt. she was a teacher and he as my high school principal. i never heard them discussing the foolishness i see in these posts. she cooked meals at home and raised her children. he paid the bills and did not drink or smoke or curse. they were southerners who raised their children in the church and put god first in thier lives. as someone said earlier, compatibility is what is missing in today’s relationships. people want to marry for superficial reasons-is he light skinned, have good hair or a big car or a lot of money. none of those things determine if a person is moral, decent, kind or honest. black folks just get back to the basics and you won’t go wrong.

First off let me say I love my black sisters i consider my self a sucessful black man too but who wants to be with somebody who is just wants to be with you for you status professionally and financially, I think its a disturbing trend that coming along with our community that money makes everything right, what if he got ill and couldn’t work anymore would you be around hell to the no, because you were just there for status and paycheck. Why are some many sucessful black women single its simple because any black man with sence can see she’s only there because of what he’s got not who he is.

@almightyblakman…….That’s how My grand parents on my Father and Mothers side did it, Started broke and built together. Something that’s not taught in society anymore.

Q.) Why Are 42% Of Black Women Still Single?
A.) because one woman just is’nt enough for one man
they cant seem to get right, figure out what they really want, with who and when

get off the BS from http://www/swaggtalk100.net

Everybody give ….”The_1U_Want_4U”…a standing ovation!

The secret that women keep is the main thing they look for…women are more worried about a man’s physique and pipe than anything else…but when they complain about not meeting a good man they mention of other qualities that are #5 and #9 on their list…A wealthy goodlooking man with a mandingo WILL NOT settle for just you, other women want him and therefore u have to compete to get him…he doesn’t want a wife cos he’s enjoying being single so when things don’t go your way don’t point fingers at the “poor black man” u never given a chance to or at least ur kitty LMAO

I know why we black women are still single, cause we are losing our black men to these white women. Everytime I turn around, i see black men with white women. Its not black men’s status.

@GiGi_Ambition…well said!

cause most black girls want a light skin man or a white man no black man!

Hello Blackplanet members, I would like to comment on the topic; “Why 42% of black women are still single”? Well ladies/blackplanet members and to anyone out there that would like to know. First of all,i want to start out with my experience and back ground on this subject. I’ve served 21 years in the U. S. Army,traveled the world and lived in three different countries and i’ve been married once to a black women. This marriage lasted for 10 years and three lovely children came from this marriage, (2-boys/32&35,1- girl/34) all are married with kids and we still are very close today. Now let me tell you all why this is happening; the 42% or more of black women have a chip on their shoulders right out of high school, they set their standards to high between the ages of 20 and 35, then once they finish college, they feel that all black men owe them something. To put it plain and simple, they are seriously looking for a “NIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOR” in their minds they truely beleave that they have became a royal princess. OK! This type of thinking and mind set combind with their search for younger men greatly lowers their chances of finding a husband. So ladies please don’t be angry with me, i’m just trying to inlighten you on this problem, because i feel that our black women are some of the most beautiful,talented and educated ladies in the world today. As a professional myself, i see it all the time through my camera lens during each photo shoot or portrait i take. Merry x-mas and happy new year to all and my God bless each one of you….

This topic is one of those topics that force some people to hold a mirror up and look into it. A lot of you wont like what you find. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way lol…I’m just going to be real. This alarming percentage should be a wake up call. Whether it is or isnt only time will tell. Both sexes of the african american population are responsible for this! Not just black females! For my black males…a lot of us arent even considering getting married or anything close, but we’ll definitely play the part when it comes down to getting some ass! We good at that! You know what happens as a result? We create trust issues in our women. I can guarandamntee you that most females..not all…didnt come up wanting to be what we consider hoes and freaks. Be real. A lotta u niggas with sisters would have beat the s**t outta ur sister if you found out she had sex…worse yet, having sex with multiple people. But yet u feel like its ok for you to tell the females everything they want to hear to get them into bed as quickly as possible and do this s**t repeatedly to different females. Dont wake up one morning and wonder why u cant find a decent female to settle down with! Because frankly I dont know anyone who would give a f**k. First of all, even in the Bible it says that you will pay everything you owe down to the last cent. Second, you are a part of the reason females are turning out the way they are. They develop trust issues which lead to attitude problems which lead to a multitude of other problems. So dont blame them.

Females thought they got away scotch-free, eh? lol… Yall to blame too! First let me give the females they props for actually coming up and making something of themselves career-wise, those of you that have done something besides b***h and moan about the economy and not being able to find jobs when u know good and damn well you cant find a job cuz u cant pass the drug test! Keep it real, s**t it is what it is…Lay off the muf**kin dro…or if not then at least have the common sense to lay off of it before you take the drug test. F**k around and get locked up… This next topic a lot of you females aint gon like, but honestly, i dont give a f**k. Its about time that somebody said it and explained it to you. Men are visual. We all know this right? Study upon study upon study has said that MEN NEED TO HAVE A PHYSICAL ATTRACTION TO THE WOMAN. Its how we’re operated. Go read…damn! Watch the DVD “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” or read the book “His Needs, Her Needs”. I can hear you all now…you probably mad so you aint gon read s**t! All you gotta do is go to the library and check em out. Too easy. Stop being f**kin stubborn (yet another reason men dont wanna marry u) and listen. Learn to take criticism…Anyways, my point is that men want to marry and be with a woman that is physically attractive to them. Fat is not attractive…seriously. Thick is sexy. Slim is sexy. Fat is the exact opposite. Get the f**k out of the Haagen Daas line and stop just sittin around doin nothin. Go workout. Everybody else can find time to workout. Even if you dont workout, go on a diet. Stop eating so much or CHANGE what you eat. MoNique lost weight and looks a lot better, so you aint got that excuse, cuz as much as she talked about how she loves being big…she sure enough lost weight. Even if you dont care about what men think of you and you love being single, do it for yourself. You, seriously, will run into health problems sooner, if not later. Diabetes, Heart problems, Strokes, Thyroid complications…are all diet and weight related. If you want help gettin slimmer then just hit me with a note! I’ll help you, but damn dont be so stubborn that you wont even try. Last, some of yalls attitude are horrible. Yall get to thinkin yall the s**t, but really you only smell like it. Honestly some of yall do have that High and Mighty Syndrome. That s**t needs to go. Yall f**k around and get a degree in basketweaving or some s**t and all of a sudden yall s**t sunshine. And dont let you fool around and be just abnormally beautiful…yall muf**kas be havin some seriously stank attitudes. On more than one occasion I’ve approached a beautiful female with the utmost respect only to be talked to like i just s**t in her shoe. S**t is just uncalled for…and i know i’m not an ugly person. Anyways…i gotta go! lol…damn i know its a lotta people about to hate me…but I couldnt give a flying f**k about what people think of me. I grew up a long time ago.

Simple answer because 47% of black men are locked up duh

I would never say that having high standards is bad but then again be real, what are you bringing to the table? That is a question I find myself asking women whenever I date and most of the time they have no response. I’m never the one to be told to “man up” because I handle mine, just ask about me.

LMAO Frizzel good way to end it lol. You are both so right.. Umm Mr 2005 Drk was actually agreeing with you and for you to put him down in your reply shows that you are still not at that mature level as yet SMH i was actually agreeing with you for a second.

look, profanities aside, and quoting scripture, well there is a place for everything. One of the chief reasons for Black women being single is that we as Black men dont give them the opportunity to show us what they do have. We are searching for the white, latina, european woman that will look good on our arms, draw attention both negative and positive and give us the prospect of “pretty babies”. The idea that we think a Black woman cant give us the same is mind boggling. We also, as Black men, tend to label Black women as having attitudes that we cant, or dont want to deal with. If we, as Black men, would be as gung ho, and assertive in actually seeking out one of these women then we would see that they have more to offer than just a mouthpiece in which to argue with. There are enough Black women in this world, let alone this country that can satisfy your needs more than any other woman of color if you give her the chance to show you. A legitmate chance. Its no ones fault because both Black women AND men push away from each other because we want “something different”. Its a shame when White men treasure our women MORE than we as Black men do. Who would you rather be with? Someone who thinks you are more precious than Platinum, more amazing than the sky filled with stars, or someone who just talks to you when something is wrong, or they want “something”. Dating a Black woman is hard, deep, real, and rewarding, just like anything else worth having. Why wouldnt you want to work hard for something you really want? Every race has its beautiful and every race has its not so attractive, Dont pigeon hole our women as something less than beautiful until you get a chance to actually sit down and ASK her what SHE wants instead of imposing your will on them only to get resistance because you are pushy. Think about it.

It’s in our nature to over simplify things and in this case I think it’s kinda backward to analyze relationships or lack there of solely on racial terms. I agree with those here that say it’s about compatibility but with me it’s also about preference. Much as I’m open to dating anyone that I’m compatible with (equal opportunity dater) I do prefer black men. To me there’s nothing more beautiful than a black man with his swagger and confident nature. I also see nothing wrong with having standards, in this very educationally, socially, racially, physically and economically diverse world no matter how high your standards, there is always going to be at least one person out there that fits the model of what you’re looking for. So can we stop stigmatizing black women now and see them as any other single woman waiting for their prince charming.

I did not watch the video but this has been a normal discussion around me as of late. I think there may be too many reasons to say why honestly when I hear so many aspects. However, being someone with an extremely colorful past I can say in my own personal opinion at the root of it all it may be the simpler things. Sex is so easily come by that girlfriend is a irrelevant term these days. Friend and wife have a huge difference and it is suppose to be sex for a large part. Lol! F**k it thou. I am guilty too. So I agree with GiGi as far as standards. That is on the individual. It seems warped to expect structured standards in an unstructured situation. (IIWII) It is what it is.

Time change as well as people! Our grandparents and great grandparents married and stayed married because of “love.” Likely they did not have the money to get material possessions of the world just the things that was mandatory for their family and that made them happy! Today people to caught up on looks and material things! Some females would talk to a man and give herself up to him just because he throwing a couple of dollars her way! Some males to caught up in looks to even notice a good woman when shes there! He’ll be blind sided by how she looks not knowing that she is not the right one for him! As a “black” person Im sorry but we have a lazy ass race period! Some of us don’t even wanna get up off our asses and work! So when most of “us” find a easy convient way to do somethng they jump on it, whether its marrying someone, trying to get over on people and the government, or doing illegal s**t! Besides most of us put our own “black” race down to much to even try marry one another! S**t you ask me, most of us need to stay single!

well BS’rs do come around to often, but seems like some people keep running into the same kinds of ppl, which make them think they can put us all in one BIG ASS BOAT for the simple fact that we r “black women”. TO THA *PHUCKARD* PRENTISS IS IT, HE WANTS TO BAN BLACK WOMEN, LMAO@ THAT.. it just sounds like u were born yesterday!! *look at the women, rappers have in there videos*??? WTH women shakin their ass for $$$ so did u make a point besides their some other race other than black??? hell its a good thing many of them arent black…REAL BLACK WOMEN R ABOVE THAT BS Yes ppl are entitled to their opinions, i’ve always thought that and then again i always tell people to watch what the hell they say to. YOUR RIGHTS STOP WHERE SOME1 ELSES BEGINS. WITH THAT SAID IF U WANT BLACK WOMEN TO JUMP HEAD FIRST, YOU LEAD BY EXAMPLE AND SHOW US HOW ITS DONE LMAO then that’ll be the end of ur dumbass!!! BLACK MEN ALWAYS SAY BLACK WOMEN ARE TO PICKY, GOLD-DIGGERS, BABYMOMMAS, TO THIS AND THAT. SMASH ALL DAT BS… IM NO MODEL MYSELF, BUT I’VE COME ACROSS SOME NOT SO ATTRACTIVE MEN WHO FEEL LIKE THEY CAN BE PICKY, UHHHH SINCE WHEN DID UGLY PPL FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE OPTIONs?? lol anyway, many of u black men set yourselves up for failure as black women do to, i haven’t slept around shyt i get bashed on for that, i’m a dark skinned sistah *as fly as i am* i get bashed on for that….so yes your preferences do keep you from meeting that good person most of the time ppl should just realize it and stfu! You say black women aint shyt, i tell you why the ones many of u come across aren’t all that shyt that some of u black men WHO R COMPLAINING look for @ the time ass,freak,titts,easy,certain complexion, quick nut etc..start looking for a black woman with some class, god-fearing, one who’s handling her business, with standards some substance STRONG, one who can be ur backbone when needed all that goodness HELL U WILL SEE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE ; ) when u look for it, u will find it depends on where ure looking! Some dont know what GOOD IS because they’ve never had it, I AM THAT CHICK..i know what it is, i’m that something different many men aint use to…they wanna call u different, stuck up, weird whatever CUZ URE NOT LIKE THE AVERAGE CHICK they’ve been with…shyt ppl settle for less when thats what they’re use to. REAL BLACK PEOPLE STAND UP ; )

We are not as “desperate” as whites prefer to think we are. Most black women of marriage age have been asked to wed – but many have declined for reasons known only to them. I’ve been engaged three times – to black men and all have been employed and eligible for marriage. I just wasn’t ready for marriage. Fewer people getting married just for the sake of being married equals fewer divorces and broken families.

Please stop perpetrating these lies – black women have the ability to get a husband at the same rate as women of other races -regardless of the media’s attempts to portray us as unable to find or keep a husband and that black families don’t exist. Bulls**t!

Considering the state of marriage in this country, being single seems like a pretty good option. Look around, how many truly happily married people do you really know. Don’t believe the hype, every single black woman is not desperate and trying to hook some brother with the ultimate goal of marriage. A lot of us are single by choice and loving our lives.

THAT”S AN EASY QUESTION..

The funny thing is we all know the answer to that question..if you read through this post we answered it in pieces. The blame is reciprocal. Women and Men..but i definitely think most black women set their standards soo high that no one can reach them

You Aint Kool Az Me….great points on both black men and women….You are very insightful and many should take heed. However…you never addressed the positives in both genders and presented a “soul”lution for those who have it together and cant seem to get married.

Care to expound on that?

Thanks Swagg!

Come on people It doesn’t matter if you are black or white, Love is love and if you point the finger filled with envy saying you tired of seeing black men with white women or the other way around then you are thinking within the box and you should continue to sulk lol thats what you get for lusting after what someone else has.

@you aint cool—As far as this post telling women they are stubborn whoa hold your horses. It seems like you are a bit to c**ky and approach a female expecting to get shot down and prove a point about the beautiful women.. Now i am a good looking woman who many have said they were afraid to approach me . I do admit i crinkle my brows when I am deep in thought and I am always thinking. But if you approach me with respect then hey I will smile and that melts the ice. But if you come at me with the BS you just did then I will do to you what needs to be.. I will let you know to kick rocks and move to the next female that will give you an audience. As far as you saying that these women should loose weight because it is not attractive WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! that is your opinion and how dare you. You are the reason why there is ridiculous standard of beauty in this world. There are men out there who find that attractive maybe not you just like a female that you approach may not find you attractive. May find you repulsive and just a sore to look at. Hum yeah think about that before you openly pass judgement. Mo’nuiqe is not the standard level for women who have extra weight on them which by the way may be something genentic and unavoidable. Your post was just shameful for men who are more respectful and you really need to just fall back with that one. And it seems that you have not grown up a long time ago you are still growing. WE are all still growing as a matter of fact. And i wish people would stop throwing around the word “sexy” there is a deeper meaning than the way you look really!

feelgood47 you said it better.. and real talk. black women these days have a f*ck**g chip on that shoulder…….. where it goes above and beyond there head….. and most black women just need to do a better job in picking the good qualitys bout the man instead of the image…. i see to many black women picking these lame a$$ thugs with the glam bling and 10 different children.
instead of picking the hard working black man who just as average as the next hardworking man.
so my opinion is the reason why 42% of them single they just dont know what they want… all they want is a fairy magical tale of a man. with the big house and 8 cars.

Let’s be real, we’re commenting to an article posted on BLACKPLANET…so basically every man that’s here wants a black woman, that means we’re not running away from black women. It’s just that most of these so called successful blk women are not realistic about what they want, look at Halle Berry…Eric Benet had admitted to being a sex addict, she knew that b4 she got with him when she got with him…the fact that she was attracted to him physically and prolly hit it right, she tried to turn him into the man she wants him to be…but don’t ever start a relation on LUST and expect it to turn into LOVE

I personally feel that the reason, why there is a shortage of black men is because they are turning GAY, so between the black men being locked up, dating white women or whatever, a big shortage of our men now is because they are GAY!!! Some men are walking out of their marriages to be with another man, which is crazy!!!

Well personally I think its a mixture of a few things, 1st-alot of us are getting locked up at a very high rate..2nd Alot of “successful” Blac females do have high and goofy standards thats just crazy!-Now I understand females want somebody with there shiit 2gether, apt car etc..but at the same time sometimes when Im talking to someone new or “dating” I feel like Im getting tried or taking some kinda test..and Im looking back like yea you might be smart, but u dont have common since, because if u did, u would know that I know that black women out number black men almost 10 to 1! So why am I the one being tested? Lol-matter of fact, I should be quizing you!! can u cook, how bout clean?, well hows ur physical fittness etc…So yea all of us black men may not be perfect, neither are yall-but then get mad when we show up at the spot with a snow bunny! HOPE THAT DEGREE CAN KEEP U WARM AT NIGHT BABY, ITS A COLD WINTER..

Once you get past the double standards, the eligible men out here, dont have that much of the eligible women to pick from, so that 42% number is more than likely very much higher. They are either asking you to pay for their happiness by telling you that it is your job, while keeping their resources hidden in Ft Knox or making those same lame excuses, like there are no good black men left because they are all in jail or with white women. It is all excuses just to not say that most of them have selfish attitudes or issues that are deeper than the ocean blue, all while having everything but not bringing anything to the table.

OMG people please stop and take a look at what you are saying.. You are seriously missing a big point! you; we; they;all have standards! the fact is that we; you; me; they; are not what we have in mind does not make it impossible to acheive. Why are their so many judgements being passed on what someone else wants. look if you cannot give me what i want then hey maybe the girl next to me or the lady walking the dog and saw me decline the invitation is the one for you. But do not make the next woman pay for what i did not find in you. WE are made for one person and that person will come to us but we have got to stop passing the blame here people come on. Everytime you sit and point the finger you are wasting time and posioning your mind yourself. Get over it.

THE ANSWER
(WILLIE LYNCH) WETHER A MYTH ARE REALITY WE CAN SEE THIS PLAYED OUT TODAY WITH HOW BLACK MEN AND WOMEN TREAT EACH OTHER.

On top of my list is “AGE” but it’s there only because it starts with an “A.” The second is “COLOR” or shade, there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you a outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don’t forget you must pitch the OLD black Male vs. the YOUNG black Male, and the YOUNG black Male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE. And the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have you white servants and over- seers distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEARTHE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen.”

And as a side note…. Those standards that the women have ARE NOT THERE FOR YOU TO MEET!!! someone else will meet them and may even put them in their place. If you cant handle the fire stay out of the kitchen.. Dont try to put it out by blowing hot air! lol somebody out there has the water to put it out NOT YOU.

I am a single 47 year old black woman. I am not so amazed as to why most are single. As for me, no matter what the age, most men (not saying it’s always a race issue), that I have come across, are still playing games. Not saying that women are not. But for those who are serious minded about finding a mate, it’s hard to find that one. Most I believe are out to wreak havoc because their prior woman hurt them or whatever that case might be. It’s not fair to me and to what I have to bring to the table. It’s just a sad state of affairs. I recently told a man that he carried all the signs of being married. Did not call, only wanted to *text*. What the hell was that about. So when I called him out on it, he did not defend himself. Why? because he could not. I should not have to settle for less just to have a man in my life.I consider myself a person who can compromise with the right person. I am deserving just like the next woman is. I find it also insulting that most married men still want to have their single life also. (this also applies to married women who go out here and play these single men also). It’s just not going to work out on both sides. Dating should be fun and exiciting. Not a damn mystery to bring out that you are either in a relationship or married. I am not set upon this earth to disrespect any woman and her marriage. Simply because I don’t want that to be an issue put upon me and my marriage….whenever that happens. So, if my mate just happens to be someone out of my race, so be it. Happiness and Love have no color. Just my honest opinion. Smile.

I have only met a few “successful” black women, so I won’t badmouth them because they seemed pretty level headed to me. We are not talking about them now though, we are speaking on the flunkies with nothing to fall back on. The fact that we are on BLACKPLANET should let the not so bright realize that we want a black woman but the ignorance gets in the way. Some of the responses I’ve read on here prove that not everyone has sense on this site. The stank attitude and mouthing off part is what sets me back. I can’t really complain much though because I finally found me a descent black woman, took me all of 26 years but oh well.

Our Queens are looking for Prince Charming on that white horse to come and get them. He might be out there but realistically he ‘s not. Brothers are trying to make it with past relationships and are blame for practically the demise of the sisters. We are not perfect but we are also handling ours business.Our Queens do not have to settle but be open to something different other than race. There are some educated brothers who are not look at because we not look like Shemar Moore or Denzel Washington.

Thank you I finally heard read it somewhere and not just in my head, most black people are stuck on the prospect of having “pretty babies”, so they go for white,latino etc etc, This has become the generation of breeding (like dogs). It’s hard to see a dark skinned couple together these’s days, because society has made it that way. When was the last time you saw a dark skinned couple together under the age of 30?. WE HATE EACH OTHER BUT LOVE EVERYONE ELSE. How many times have you heard this “how much do they charge,they do great work, what are they white,latin, No their black, forget it, i don’t deal with black people”. I think it some of it has to do with, us knowing how to push each others buttons. reply to me at my inbox, if you have anything to say directly to me.

The data here is frightening but true. I find it odd that all black men have a black mother or father and are not willing to do what it takes to be good men. I am not sure if we are parenting wrong these days but know that Willie Lynch had something to do with it. In any case, black men, I encourage you to seek God and scripture that you might shake this curse prior to judgement. Also, black women, we have to continue to be GOOD so that when he finds us, his journey will not be in vain. Be well all.

oh yea the 3rd is all these dudes coming out the closet..even in RAP MUSIC….(tight azz jeans..mohawks, niggaz dancing more than females)..but dudes aren’t TURNING gay, they BEEN GAY! Cant nothing on this planet CHANGE ur sexuality, its just as of 2008-09 its actually been COOL to be gay..(wow..) And then then same dudes that go both ways decides he wants a boyfriend, then switches back, the whole time he poluting the pu**y and spreading the monster at a historic rate..just my opinion.

Woman in general prefer being single cos they like VARIETY…They like to stage a PIPE try out..
Some are single cos they think they’re too young and succesful for commitment, they wait till they’re beat down, used, abused and have nuttin left to offer to a good deserving man…that’s when u see them on blackplanet complaining about not finding a good blk man

This is all apart of the Willie Lynch Program! Damn that man is both a TRUE DEVIL and a MASTERPIECE! WE HAVE TO DEACTIVATE OUR WILLIE LYNCH CHIP! You gotta deactivate it, because as long as your putting your faith in a concept that the white man gave you, your chip is running on NUCLEAR POWER! Meaning SCHOOLS n these so called BLACK COLLEGES or COLLEGES PERIOD! Understand that this is apart of CROSS BREEDING! This creation of multiplicity an phenomena illusions entails the principal of cross breeding the African (or anybody of a indigenous heritage). The purpose is to create a diversified division among us, there by creating different levels of labor and values! So…HOW DO WE DEACTIVATE THE “WILLIE CHIP?”
NO.1 : You must understand the European program of breaking the African American Man and Woman into making them into slaves ( which we all know)
NO.2 : WE MUST ADMIT AND ACCEPT THE REALITY THAT WE’VE BEEN PROGRAMMED! You must stop lying to yourself! Any black man and woman who refuses to admit to the truth that they have been mislead,hoodwinked, bamboozled…you are DANGEROUS to the rest of US THAT AREN’T! The European’s knew that there treatment would have a devastating effect upon the AFRICAN FAMILY, although they didn’t know how long it would last, they knew it would have an effect on us..and GOD knows it has had an effect on us because not only have they messed with us, they have messed us up so bad that we NOW mess with each other. I mean shiiiiiiiiiiit I can understand when white people laugh at us when we pay homage to our ancestors because they can’t relate to that. What I don’t understand is how did they get us to laugh at each other. That’s why we have to admit that THIS psychological process has happened to us, and it is up to us to make sure that it doesn’t continue.
NO.3 : YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HISTORY…WHY BECAUSE MANY OF US DO NOT REALIZE THE NATURE OF THE PROCESS OF SELF AND OF THE DESTRUCTION THAT HAS TAKEN PLACE BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT STUDIED HISTORY IN INSUFFICIENT DEPTH! So in other words WE DON’T KNOW “OUR STORY”, You only know what THEY want you to know. That’s what YOU know! You go do your homework assignments on what THEY tell you to go read, or write a book report on what subject THEY chose for you to do the report on, and by the time you finish doing the assignments they told you to do and turn in..SCHOOL is OUT!! Lemme explain something to ya..Take 20 years PLUS of past ruled time doing THEIR assignments, until you have your POST GRADUATE DEGREE in what THEY want YOU TO KNOW! And then come to the painful reality that all this time YOU’VE BEEN LIED TO! That all this time you’ve been researching the LIE that they fabricated…which is a painful awakening for many of us on here. Then when you come to reality from just by picking up a book, such as “The destruction of Black Civilization” by C.Williams, where you DON’T have to enroll in college to read this, and you learn more from this one book about who you are, and who we are and what they did to us and why were in the condition that were in today. By that one book your learning your 20 plus years in a classroom!
Before we can deactivate the willie chip we must reconnect and reclaim our story. It is virtually impossible to understand a people simply by relying on your “personal experiences” or by the media by clarification because the media is designed to keep you where YOU are. We will never deactivate our willie chip nor will we find ourselves if we keep looking to the religious and philosophical system or programs given to us by yours truly. Since I like to get RAW lemme get into it: AS LONG AS YOU KEEP THINKING YOUR A CHRISTIAN, A MUSLIM , AND UNTIL YOU GET THIS STUFF OUT YOUR HEAD THAT YOU ARE A HEBREW ISREALITE, YOU SHO NUFF AINT GONNA DEACTIVATE YOUR WILLIE CHIP! Because all of it is still given to us by them! Now when you realize that all of it is a lie and you begin to go beyond that, back to your ancient African past and understand that you are a BLACK AFRICAN and get back into AFRICAN SPIRITUALITY, THEN you’ll begin to deactivate your willie chip. Its sad that I have to keep dealing with people who have WILLIE CHIPS! Sometimes I have to pray real hard when I listen to your willie chips talkin. Sometimes ya’ll got 5 or 6 of em implanted.
NO. 4 : WE MUST GET AND MAINTAIN CONTROL WITH OUR INSTITUTIONS.
If were ever gonna control ourselves and our futures, we must control our basic institutions like our black churches. The Black Church is only the black church in attendance, but it ain’t really ours. Sure we own the property, but the black church isn’t in our institution. Most black churches you see a big blue eyed blonde haired guy with his picture up somewhere. Its just another slave house with slaves carrying out the agenda of the slave owner. SO ITS TIME TO DEACTIVATE THE WILLIE CHIP so that we can HEAL ourselves! Some of you in here probably have and some of ya’ll already known the program but havent done it. You cannot lead your brotha or your sista into liberation as long as your still blind, because all of us will fall into a ditch, and the ditch that they have dug for us is for US to never ever return again! PERIOD!

ITS BECAUSE TOO MANY OF THEM ARE WATCHING ALL OF THIS REALITY, ATLANTA HOUSEWIVES, BET, MTV, BULLS**T…. THE TOP 1% ARE BEING PORTRAYED AND THEY HAVE EVERYTHING FROM THE NICEST OF HOMES TO ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF CASH… AND THEN THEY EXPECT A REGULAR BROTHA TO LIVE UP TO THAT FAIRYTALE WORLD… NOT GOING TO HAPPEN… AS LONG AS YOU KEEP BELEIVING IN THAT BULLS**T THEN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SINGLE… NO I AM NOT TELLING BLACK WOMEN TO LOWER THEIR STANDARDS WHAT I AM TELLING THEM IS TO POP THAT DAYDREAM BUBBLE FROM OVER THEIR HEADS AND WAKE UP TO THE REAL REALITY AND UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE IS FOLLOWING YOU AROUND WITH A CAMERA IN THE REAL WORLD… UNLESS YOU ARE IN HOLLYWOOD….

It looks like everyone is posting 10-page papers on this topic.

I didn’t read all the posts but I agree with feelgood47.

i can honestly say that these black women are very picky and u can tell how picky they ares so in general they are sill single because of their limited choices in men. as of black men, they are intimidated by a successful black sister being that they feel that they arent as much successful themselves. Another thing is that black women and black men have their heads in the clouds so much that they dont realize what they want.

Ist of all..these are successful black women..so to start its gonna be hard for them anyways..because (some)black men rather have a woman doin nothing with herself..because it makes them feel more of a man..and some men are initimated by a successful woman..And the reason for these black woman not wanting some of the men out here…because a majority of them is lookin for nothing..lookin for flings..or not lookin for anything serious…or in jail or gay or have a lot of kids and drama so thereforth who wants the leftovers….and most black men are cheaters..and to be honest I dont see nothing wrong with a sista getting a white man..whats the difference our black men get white women…And to let you know me personally..the reason for me being successful is because a black man push me more to be independent and do me..

LMAO! Pretty much most of what the comments state are true. I’d like to point out that alot of sistas just don’t take BS as much as some groups do. But since there are more black women out there than black men, I can’t complain. I am no thug, rapper, or big shot but I am college educated, have a successful career, pretty good credit, and the list goes on. In order for there to be more successful men and I mean real men, it takes a real man to raise a boy into a man. No homos, fake wannabes, or whatever. However, for the black women that try to live their life like there a celebrity, real fellows are not gonna tolerate it. Just a thought.

i have to agree with Sparky here, from my experience, i’m only 19 by the way but i’ve dealt with many people in general… but Black Women are too caught up with superficial unrealistic bulls**t, who put down a good man because he doesn’t have as much money as the a*****e has, and i say there are way more than 42% Black Women that are single… because i don’t count the dumb ones who stay with guys who cheat on them even when they know it, or the ones who have on their status “free my hubby so and so”, its f**king dumb. I live in Brooklyn NYC, and its gotten to the point where a guy needs to be in prada, gucci, louis, or whatever b4 he can even talk to a lot of these superficial bubble heads, don’t get me wrong there are still SOME good Black Women who are single, but they just have bad luck with men, but a lot of them just make poor choices over superficial s**t… and i do say SOME of these females really need to lower their standards because half of them aren’t really worth a fraction of what they expect to get, now a days, the s**ttiest girl wants a hubby, and other dudes, and wants him to buy her uggs, jewelry and everything… another thing, GUYS we need to step up to the plate so that the GOOD women who are left don’t become like this, RESPECT a real woman when you see one, but DON’T let these bogus females think they deserve a percent of what they see… this world needs to be balanced, Fools need Fools and Mature Individuals Need Mature Individuals

Did the piece mention SOME Black Women (hence the word SOME) are dealing w/some real emotional, physcological baggage!! With some black women coming from single parent homes, where various abuses took place, nine times out of ten, she was abused and saw it; how would some black women know how to treat the “right” black man when he enters her life? As a single BM in the Philly, DE Valley area, I met some sista’s who were abused sexually and physically, thus, never seeking counseling (professionally, church, etc, doesn’t count). You can’t carry this into your future relationships and many do! Did the piece mention SOME black women have “baby daddy” issues!!! Would a single BM w/no kids, educated, etc, want to deal with that ‘Boogie,’ ‘Mookie’ or ‘Rocky’? Did the piece mention SOME black women are in a fantasy land? Who in this day and age wants to get married and not live w/someone, get to know them, etc, before getting married? SOME black women aren’t supported, have attitudes and the list goes on. In today’s world, we definitely need to motivate and push each other, in a positive way. SOME black women do not know how to do that. Man…hopefully Tyler Perry, Spike Lee, Tim Story…hell, maybe Lee Daniels will do a movie about SBM’s…Single Black Men. Maybe BP will do a piece on us!!

I am a single black woman with no children and a B.A degree. I was raised in a home with a loving father and mother and just to comment on TheGreat_34 my parents were not abusive nor did they abuse me and my parents are still together to this day. I take care of myself pay my own bills and work for the things I want. I have no emotional baggage or any other kind of baggage and I have yet to find a man that was working with half of the things I’m working with. I just think the numbers are working against us and maybe its time to explore other options that may be available besides a BLACK MAN.

This is my first post … I will say it like this I am a black man that is with a asian woman.. Its a game of numbers there isnt to many black men out there first off .. If you walked up to 20 random people in the US only 4 would be black 1 a black man .. Its all a numbers game you have 1 black man with a decent life style that isnt a fool… Black woman need to start to date outside of there race.. Nobody said that the perfect man for you has to be black.. Maybe your Adam is white maybe he is rican maybe he Mex but black woman need to open there portfolio up and invite others in.. I have mixed children and I wont tell my child that all they have to bring home is a blackman or woman… The problem for the single black woman is stop forcing something that isnt there move on and find something else that works .. By the looks of it black men and white woman and other woman of different races have.. I love my culture and I love black woman but Im not with one. SO Take my advice you sexy , single , black , strong , independant , smart , classy , woman and open yup your dating windows let other men of different races try…

I love my black women but some of them need learn how to play their position as women. Now days u black women try to play the man role instead play the women role. Just like the bible men are the leaders and women suppose be good followers. Don’t get me wrong there are some good black women out there but some of them be trippin and put a brother down. But anywayz, if a black women learn how to take care there man, u would no keep a that good man and stop being picky. I still my black women but i am just being honest from my experiment.

Black women do it to themselves, it’s not the fact of being successful and finding a compatible mate, its the fact of black women are utterly confused with what they want out of a mate based on contemporary nonsense, such as being independent or self sufficient. All of these people can put so much emphasis on what is wrong but their ideas cloud their actual judgment to where they miss the point of why so many black women are single. To throw in a hypothetical, I presume that the reason why black women are lonely is based on their newly found independence and trying to exercise it. By exercise they have taken a more masculine approach of exploiting themselves, such as using men for sexual means over being a woman and not straying around. I can honestly say that there are no good honest women out there but on what I see, and most women even if they assume they’re good will claim they are good. People can post ideas on this topic but nobody will agree with one another, and the issue is not really the fact that black successful women are single; the real reason is, why do black successful women think their too good for black men. This topic is mediocre and women should know why they are single. I would suggest for these successful women to do is STOP GOING TO THE SAME PLACES and dealing with the same guys that you are familiar with dealing with because the guys that don’t appeal to you are normally the guys that are right for you.

…who really cares?

I just read a few comments after my post I wanna say im 30 plus I played b-ball in italy for 6 years i live in san diego im from detroit .. Being from Detroit and Im sure any black man from detroit will tell you black woman dont wanna hear your 5 year plan . Life to them is the here and now and what can you do for them now… I can understand where that comes from because alot of it is learned from what they see but also if your a man and your lookin to court a woman shouldnt you have your s**t already together… I mean if I was a woman I wouldnt be f**kin a broke dude that dont have a pot to pee in and a window to throw it out of.. My granny use to say that.. So that goes both ways . There is gold diggers that are white black grean orange purple. Understand my brother a asian woman loves money prolly more than a black woman . Wanna talk about a name brand HOeee then Asian is it. Understand brotha before you step to a woman look in the mirror what can you offer a woman besides a hard DI%^ and bubble gum .. And another fact is the reason why you guys thing other races arent money hungry sack chasers is what we call them is because woman that arent black about 75 percent of them are trying just to fit in our culture. But believe me if you start moving up in pay and your class of woman change all the wolfs of other races will come out at you..

Well I’v been married for 3 years now to a twin and I am the first black/mixed black woman that my husband has ever dated, not because he wasnt interested in black women it’s cause none of them were interested in him everytime he would try to talk to one. But on the other hand my husband twin when i met him he would always say he dont want to date black women because they are ghetto an Controlin. And I use to get mad cause I would say not all black women are like that, cause I am not like that an u see how happy ur brother is an he would say ok well if i find a black woman like u then i will date her until then no an i dont date darkskin women.So i tried to find him a black woman but most of them wanted thugs an badboys an hes far from that so i found him a white girl, she turn out to be crazy within 2weeks of datin she told him she was pregnant an her mom was kickin her out for a having a black mans baby.So he moved her into his place come to found out she never was pregnant she lied but he let her stay anyways even when he found out she was on drugs, after so much drama with her cheatin and stayin out til 3 in the morning he said f**k it Im done. Now he wants to date other races just not white women, I just really think we should stop lookin at race an just find someone that is on the same level as us to date.

I think that most not all black women have the goals and what they really want in life and they want the partner they choose to be on the same level them but if you look at it that mostly never happen . There are most black women hanged up on issues like height , there should be issues in a relationship it should because the guy there chasing other female is also chasing after him and as a man if I have more than one female chasing me I’m going to take my time before I make my decision on who I want to drive me crazy for the rest of my life. Yes there isn’t alot of us black men out there but as long I have a job a good job and believe in working hard to achieve a better life for myself and anyone in my life a black women Standards on what type of black man you shouldn’t matter .

Too many mileage on the coochie.

here’s my view..(and I can almost promise that because its right, most of the women who read this will get mad!!!) black women expect to much and offer to little, they don’t wanna give as much as they get, they don’t think men respect their swagger, women become successful and use that as an excuse to be a b!tch…”I’m independent, I got my own, I don’t need no man for nothing!!” don’t no man want to hear that sh!t, we’re not threatened by a successful woman, its the fact that black women are B!tches when it comes to relationships, they either a) date someone who uses beats and cheats on them then when a good fella like myself comes along and tries to save them..they don’t wanna be saved, they dog us cause they got dogged..and why should i take bullets for the last guy.. or b){and if this sounds sexist I’m sorry, I don’t mean as such} but they try to run the show cause they’re independent, a man wants a woman who knows how to let the man BE the man…in a relationship there is one KING and one queen, you CANNOT be both king and queen, you don’t run this..I wear the pants, you have to wear the skirt..I don’t look good in a skirt so I have to wear the pants, it should be your objective to stand behind or side by side and NOT in front of “your man”…he’s got the dyck, you’ve got the poosie..also to many women talk to and treat men like they ain’t got no dyck, and its like WHOA woman stand down, now I know a lot of men are pigs…lol Lords knows that a lot of guys have NOT afforded the right to say any of this but for those of us who are good, if you don’t wanna lose us to white women or other races then cure your Oprah Winfrey syndrome and lose the I am Independent woman hear me roar attitude, cause its NOT gonna get you anywhere in the relationship game….and while you’re at it, quit getting mad when someone calls you a b!tch, c**t or a ho, its just a word..and in your life you’ve been called worse by better people so GET OVER IT!!!!! visit my page and comment cause as always I welcome opposing viewpoint!!!

High Five to ChinaDoll and Toheal- I wish people would stop judging these ladies standard that YOU are not supposed meet. The fact is we are all different emotionally wise and we cannot and do not have to please everyone. Those ladies in the video will find what they need in due time. within themselves or with a mate. But it is not YOU. There are people who are of that sucessful level but are using the wrong methods to find their mate. If you live in the hood it will be a little more difficult to find that rose. But you have to keep looking if not change the demographics and you will find it because they are doing the same thing. Come off your horse! As far as head in the clouds It’s not your head and you are not the cloud! lol

Let’s be honest here folks… Da brutha’s got too much baggage and Sista’s will run to an Italian man any day of the week.

You can deny all you like, say I’m f’d up, full of shyte all you want but I want into a club and if theres a fine sista there and 20 bruthas… da bruthas are going home with each other.
And let’s be real I don’t give a f**k about the willi chip or any of that other nonsense…

It’s all about style and class

Every brutha got the same damn tired ole rap that every sista has been hearing since she was ten….

LOL
The past is gone baby

I believe that Rawdawg said it all, and sisters need to read it! Big ups, Raw!

RawDawg.. I took one look at the begining of your post and bust out laughing… You are wrong and you will continue to not find anyone or anything worth your wild. You are negative and a blind person to the world. For you to openly put women down instead of saying they need to look within shows that you yourself are worthless. You have not stepped up the the challenge yourself to teach and not pass judgement. That is all that I am seeing here on these posts. Here is something you should try.. SAY IT TO THEIR FACE tell them look you are worth more than what you are giving to these males who just want to have fun. Why dont you show them a good time? no you wont because you cant bring to the table what they want. So try again and until you can say to them I can meet you half way and or let me show you a good time simple time then hush and watch another MAN take that girl out. And dont lie to yourself you want her to. Instead of hating just help.

Nice post Raw… like I said in my earlier posts, y’all got way to much baggage and guys like me are cleaning up :)

keep up the good work my strong african bruthas….

hahaha

WOW! WHERE DO U PEOPLE GET THESE LYING NUMBERS, INFACT I THINK THE TOPIC SHOULDNT BE WHY ARE 42% OF BLACK FEMALES ARE SINGLE, IT SHOULD READ ” WHY DOES THE SO CALLED BLACK MEDIA, FOLLOW IN THE STEPS OF MAIN STREAM WHITE MEDIA, KNOWING THAT THE BLACK AND WHITE EXPERIENCE ARE DIFFERENT.” BOTTOM LINE FOLKS, DONT FEED IN TO BLACK MEDIA, BET,BLACK PLANET AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE AN HAVE BEEN SELLING US OUT AS A PEOPLE TO WHITE MAIN STREAM FOR YEARS NOW. IF YOU DONT OPEN OR OFFER THEM INTO YOUR HOME, THEN THEY’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT GO’S ON IN YOUR HOME. DONT SUBCRIBE TO THIS OR ANY OTHER UNCLE TOM TOPIC FROM B.P. OR B.E.T, BECAUSE THE B-STANDS 4 BULLS**T.

DAMN, see i’m not the only one. I’m 29 and I’m on my way to success. I’m currently on the way to getting my masters in Environmental Management and I’m currently a wetland biologist. I totally understnad what these ladies feel. I’m so trying not give up on out black men. However, if I find a man of a different race I’m all for it. I don’t need a man making a higher salary than me and often times it is not an issue but some men are kinda of hung up on the fact that most times I make more than them. I don’t require him to have a college degree. I just need him to be GOD FEARING, hardworking, honest, family oriented, respectful and treats me like the Queen God made me to be. You wouldn’t think that was hard to find but it is. Yes most men say they want an independent woman but it takes a strong man to accept the fact that the woman is independent. But hold up ladies just because your INDEPENDENT you still have to make a man feel like the man. You can’t wear the pants in the relationship. I’m not saying serve him but I think sometimes we have our roles messed up. You should cater to your man there is nothing wrong with that but he has to cater to you to. Okay and to the sisters that are in their twenties I’m going to need you to learn how to COOK. Oh and I dont’ mean making gravy from a gravy pack or that boxed mess that is not called cookin it is called throwing something together. To the Men if you want to be treated like the head of the house take that role act the man. Be there for us! So many of black women hear that there are not enough black men to go around and they settle. They allow men to have more than one woman and men become used to this and then they keep it up because no woman has set a better example. NEWSFLASH THIS IS WHY AIDS IS SO HIGH IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN RACE. My body is a temple and I will not allow a man to invade my temple who i know is openly invading another woman the same way he does me. I know it gets hard but I’m being patient on the LORD. What is for me is for me and I believe that in the end GOD has kept someone for me. I will not allow what others say to cloud my judgement. So if he isn’t tall or makes more money than me we can make it work as long as he is GOD fearing, respectful, has goals, hardworking and treats me like the Queen God made me to be. I know some women won’t agree with this but being INDEPENDENT and STRONG means being strong enough to allow a man to be the head of the relationship

the fact is we as people have choices but sometimes both men and women look for the here and now real relationships sometimes takes growth and time black women come sometimes with this thing call being on the same level but all of us will not have that BA in business but that person might have talents with cars or other thing things I’m a boiler tech and a plumber i want to go back and do wind power and solar tech that’s me but we need too stop beat up each other and remember one thing opposites do attract , we also need to as black people and as people learn to love

LMAO and on some thing else Raw- you must not be a MAN because a WOMAN will follow a MAN if he knows how to lead. Obviously you have no clue as to how to lead. And behind every great man there is a strong woman. If I dont need you to provide MATERIAL THINGS and that is all you think a man should do then kick rocks because Ill find someone who can satisfy me emotionally and whisper to him dont worry baby I got it this time… Inturn he will say to himself im going to get my ish together .. and then Well be looking at your lame ass on the side still mad that you dont have a good woman… and this couple looks like a power couple. or she is with white man. and they will be laughing at you . the one who is wasting time hating instead of catching the eye of that beautiful girl walking by you smiling.

When you say things like that with such a tone that is what other males keep in their head and it creates a terrible cycle and that is just disrespectful and shameful.

UHHH………DOES TOO MANY B***HMADE FAKE AND LAME ASS MEN ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? SINGLE IS THIS BEST WAY TO BE WHEN NOTHING REALLY CATCHES YOUR EYES,HEART OR SPIRIT YET SOME OF US WOMAN TAKE CARE OF US FIRST AND GET WITH THE BULLS**T LATER

LOL what’s more amusing than being a white guy reading a controversial debate between black women and men!

LOL oh s**t! I must be part of great white conspiracy to hold a brutha down!!

Dang I messed up and exposed myself!

Wow, have been reading these comments and there is a lot of anger and hostility here. On both sides. The media does have an agenda and it seems to be working to a certain degree. I mean look at hollywood. How many leading romantic roles are there for black men, women or couples. It’s like “if it aint white it aint right.” That has also affected our relationships inadvertently and unfortunately. Black men go for that Hollywood approved woman. European features… out of this world statuesque figure and submissive to the point that a man can go hang out with his boys and escape the responsibilities at times of being a man. Not all of us think like that but a lot of us do. That is because some of us did not grow up with fathers to lead the way so its left up to us to figure it out. So some of us end up wanting our cake and eating it too. However black women there are a lot of us good black men hanging around that want you. What we don’t however is the attitude. Not all black women are like that but some are. I love my fiancee and she makes more money than I do. However money is only a common denominator and not the final answer and we both understand that. Its about mutual respect and goals, a love for God and deep love for each other. Is that not what we as a black people should concentrate on more. I mean I did the whole white girl thing but in all honesty a black woman can only understand fully what a black man has to deal with everyday because black women deal with it and three times more. Instead of pointing the fingers at each other(which both sides have done vehemently), lets figure out a way to get it moving. Black men, go to school. Get an education. Empower your mind. Understand that a woman is invaluable partner in the mind as well as the heart. She is not your mother. she is not your maid or just the mother of your children. She is more than that. Value her womanhood and her mind as your equal and everything will fall in line. Black women, understand that your black man is a work in progress. Don’t overreact when we do not have things figured out as well as you do. Understand that we are trying and that we are doing these things because we love you. Do not overlook us when we are not in the same lane as you. Because at the end of the day, money is only money. Its not going to keep you happy. How we treat you and love you will. I am educated with an MBA and my Fiancee is a dentist (which means she makes twice what I do) but that does not intimidate or emasculate me. I was doing well before I met her but with her relating to my unlike any other woman has and she enhances who I am.

Dang! Where’s Obama when you need him!

YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

Hope and change… Hope and change… We shal overcome! Down with whitey LOL

Shhhh. Too busy paying for sex in the Carribean islands.

@2healagain I have the same perspective. I was beginning to think there weren’t any Black guys on BP who felt this way about dating and marriage. LOL This is truly the “human” perspective vs. “Black-on-Black people” stereotypical opinions with the anger of a wounded soul on BP.

@Adon7 “It looks like everyone is posting 10-page papers on this topic.”
LMAOOOOO I had to post my 10 pager comment b/c written words take paragraphs. LOL

LoL, I don’t know how to answer something like why 42% of black women are single. I think personally that many women have expectations of what they want, need, desire, and expect. Maybe if there were more black men not incarcerated, uneducated, or dead then maybe it would be easier. I also think that black women should realize how much beauty they posses and try interracial dating, There is a double standard for woman of all walks of life but, black women are not expected to date outside of their race. And, if they do there seems to be a problem within the black community for them expanding, exploring, and learning about other options. I personally have dated only 2 black men in my entire life, the others being either Hispanic, and/or Caucasian.

Black women shouldn’t be too worried about it though. The process of dating is so fickle, marriage doesn’t hold up to the standards of before, and to be honest the homogeneous beliefs of a black woman can only be with a black man, is wrong. Black men date whomever they choose, and I think if there is less color recognition, and more people staying true to their hearts maybe then we can worry about why their are so many black young men in jail instead of college. Why is there so much black on black violence being witnessed ? How can we start to regenerate the magnificence of our people from old! Less worry about why so many black women are single because at the end of the day they are single because they choose that life style, and until the good Lord in heaven gives them the man they truly feel is right for them this “single ladies epidemic” ( so damn laughable ) will come to an end.

Ah, the saga of the African American woman! Always dating below their station in life. Always after the unemployed and the unemployable (control?, low self-esteem?). Always keeping it ‘real’ and ‘holding it down’ (Just grow up already. Give your daughters some space!). Always headed toward the caribbean (word is out, and no one wants you after those trips where you pay young carribean studs to get with you). And yes, always praying, with tears streaming down her face for good effect. Jesus will certainly do it. In fact, he has done it. Can I get an ‘Amen’? Well go screw around until next Sunday. You can always start all over.

HAHAHA Hey folarin that post is a true classic!!!!!

When are we going to just let Reality be Reality and stop believing in Santa Claus… For no race is there one man for one woman. It has never been that way. With wars, poverty, homosexuality, jail and murders – these events always prey on men more than women. I seen that when I was 12 years old, how the Hell can so-called grown men like “Steve Harvey”, see it, be real and just speak the truth.

Ladies honestly, you are all competing with each other for those two or fifteen special guys out of 100. That is the truth of the matter. Then not only are you competing with single women, you are competing with married one to because half of them (or more) are not happy at home so they need your special guy too. A lot of productive men get there sex from these sevenareas, (Prositutes, strippers, escorts, other men(hate it), Pronos (five-finger friend), mistresses and Kids (I definitely hate the last one)). For some men, why put up with the rigors of having a wife when instant gratification is all around. I am just being honest!!! The question is when will we really sit down and be honest on how this thing really goes down. When we do that we can learn a few things and stop some of this BS that happen in all countries with all races!!!!

How about this why blk women dont see that blk men paved the way for blk women to get better lives now that they are on there movement they are calling the very same men that had to literally fight to keep a job without education by going to work or jail and giving them the opportunity to get a edu they are now looking down on blk men and having lesbo relationships. Now i am one of the few that slip through the cracks and found me a good edu woman with a masters that reconize a business minded bro without a edu (degree) but know how to read law not by going to school but because of the s**t i had to encounter through life and racisim literally, that educated me, so blk women we paved the road for you by getting looked down on by other races we dont need that s**t from you too. Street smarts 7 experience and edu blk woman= a dangerous couple. Take heed.

I think anothe pont to make is that no guy wants some other dudes kids…

So you ladies with your little bastards that you birthed when you were 16, do you really think some good man, black, white, blue or purple is going to embrace your little by product of your “hump and dump” and provide for u?

If you have a kid{s} and you are day dreaming about finding a good man who will sweep you off your feet and marry you YOU’RE ON THE CRACK PIPE!

There are tons of available women the “good man” can get without dealing with your mistakes.

NO it AIN’T OK to be a single mom! Get real!

In all honesty , I have to agree with the @ sexually_explicit comment, it is very true…….. sad 2 say

You get looked down on by the sista’s cuz you dip your weenies in every fat azz white stank job that comes your way…

The sista’s don’t look down on you for NO REASON, please!

It was the black MATRIARCH that paved the way, not the black man, you didn’t pave s**t

Media is working on this inept folks who believe that their is a shortage of brothers, for one I notice more and more you see the media displaying al ot of women of color with white men, but then their is a unequal showing of Black males with white women. Smiling…….

Alot of brothers are locked up. Over 3 million are locked up and so they are not available for American women and that’s a fact.
Also, Latino American men are scarce.

I can’t tolerate some idiotic person of such to interject with their misguided knowledge base @ Bostonslvboy, “The sista’s don’t look down on you for NO REASON, please! It was the black MATRIARCH that paved the way, not the black man, you didn’t pave s**t”. LOL….; dude last time I check I don’t expect you to know my history (Black History) since you’re not BLACK. Step out of the rear

Boooooo, to all the dudes who say blk women give you high blood pressure. I repeat, don’t date us. It’s sad how ya’ll come back after you realize when you had a woman who didn’t take bull but stood for something. We have been doing alot of crap on your behalf since we came to America (begging slave masters not to take our kids, allow them to stay a little longer before being sold off. Blk women constantly raped and abused and never having the opportunity to be a women because we have to work to support of family since the black woman was more favorable to work than the black man which is still the same today. Another thing, women, stop raising sorry men. Don’t buy them Jordans because you are excited that they are coming home from jail and men stop looking for empty headed freaks. I also want ya’ll to read WILLIE LYNCH and his dontrination which still lives on. And to my sistas, don’t stop expecting too much, as we can see. We can make 50,000 a year, look drop dead sexy but, a man will not get with you if you have strength. That is what is being envied. We still succeed in spite of it all. Again, look at our history. We are truly off the hook, we are the original Madonna (look up the black madonna), we are the same women in the Bible that many nations were in and still is in ahwww over. It’s just a shame how other males outside our race realizes that. ALL YA’LL BLK MALES WHO SAY WE ARE TROUBLE ARE NOTHING BUT OPRAH’S. DON’T LOVE THEMSELVES nor their MOTHERS. Huey P. Newton would slap some sense in some of these black man.

i think its because its alot of fake niggaz that approach them. 2010 some niggas claiming to be pimps but cant even keep they phone on LOL just be your self.most people act like its a bad thing to grow up and work/get a education inside of slacking.. its alot of females like that too. i think if more people do s**t with they lifes. then people would be interested in them. that’s just easy to realize.

you know i feel to each its own most black women want a man on there level or close , doing something with them selfs and respects all women ,, those men are a lil hard to find women are tired of men and there games becasue they have been there and done that with a few men and the s**t gets old fast.women have to have some standards of what they want , or they will get any ole dude,,, and for bostonlvboy, @29 mother of one who is 4 my man is the best thing that has walked into my life we both have kids from an other relationship but we luv each other kids as they are r own, he is a real man who if he luvs me he loves every thing i come with . and the relationship has ground rules, and time limits for thing we must achive together ,, a brother like i have is hard to find

instead of worrying about finding some one to have a baby by….or get married to, an drive out of his goddamb mind with your shopping and your complaining ,your eye rolling , booty shaking, gum popping,baby having ,and lets not forget your smart aaasss mouth’s……find someone you can stand to be around for two months before the real biitch comes out of you…..and of the 42 precent not married….40 precent of them behave like frankie and neffie……AND WHAT DESPERATE MAN BUT AN EX CON….IS GONNA PUT UP WITH A TRIFFLING AAASSS WOMAN LIKE THAT,A 40 oz of malt liquor drinking biitch,who still drinks malt liquor!!!!!?????/……..with babies by this one AND!!!!!! that one…..now…..want US !!!!!!!!……. to step up and fix the mess she and some other F$CKING loser F$CKED ALL to CREATE…..well keep your love and your 100,000 miles p$ssy….and kiss my aaasss…and clean up your own f$cking mess

Well it seems to be exactly what i expected, You people are actually owning up to this propaganda, believing everything they are saying. Instead of insulting one another and debating why black women are supposedly not getting men, why don’t you mother-bunch-of-fracking idiots ask yourself why they’re not reporting anything about the other races since from their statistics the rate seems to be around the same. And besides, do you really believe these statistics cover the extent of every black women in this country. Seriously you people, how dumb can you guys be.

What makes one man better than the other? THe looks, the success, the intelligence? My question to the ladies is what happened to getting to know someone? Are y’all still dreaming and living in a fantasy world? I can guarantee u that 97% or more of these so called single black women have been approached by men time and again, but what are they quick to say- I am not interested, without given the gentleman the time of day. Yes gentlemen, because most of them never approach disrespectfully. It goes back to the beginning, is he cute enuff, what would my friends think of him, all my exes are way better looking that this fella. How can i go from a so-called 10 to a 5? These women are judging books by their cover, instead of trying to take time to see what it’s all about. THey end up in a relationship, that is ultimately doomed from the beginning, because the man they are dating cannot be committed to them, Yet the guy that is willing to die for them, the farthest he can achieve is a friendship. THere are only a handful of women who would give every man the time of day and take time to get to know what he has to offer. Whether he is educated or not. There are many educated black men, but how are they described by these women? Nerds, No game, Unattractive, Lame, b***hass and the list goes on. One thing to remember is one day u may have a sons of your own, that may more than likely get the same kind of reciprocal treatment if not worse. Start re-thinking ladies dont let life pass u by.

Because he wants more deck than you do! As for races…we should worry about our own.

Wow, have been reading these comments and there is a lot of anger and hostility here. On both sides. The media does have an agenda and it seems to be working to a certain degree. I mean look at hollywood. How many leading romantic roles are there for black men, women or couples. It’s like “if it aint white it aint right.” That has also affected our relationships inadvertently and unfortunately. Black men go for that Hollywood approved woman. European features… out of this world statuesque figure and submissive to the point that a man can go hang out with his boys and escape the responsibilities at times of being a man. Not all of us think like that but a lot of us do. That is because some of us did not grow up with fathers to lead the way so its left up to us to figure it out. So some of us end up wanting our cake and eating it too. However black women there are a lot of us good black men hanging around that want you. What we don’t however is the attitude. Not all black women are like that but some are. I love my fiancee and she makes more money than I do. However money is only a common denominator and not the final answer and we both understand that. Its about mutual respect and goals, a love for God and deep love for each other. Is that not what we as a black people should concentrate on more. I mean I did the whole white girl thing but in all honesty a black woman can only understand fully what a black man has to deal with everyday because black women deal with it and three times more. Instead of pointing the fingers at each other(which both sides have done vehemently), lets figure out a way to get it moving. Black men, go to school. Get an education. Empower your mind. Understand that a woman is invaluable partner in the mind as well as the heart. She is not your mother. she is not your maid or just the mother of your children. She is more than that. Value her womanhood and her mind as your equal and everything will fall in line. Black women, understand that your black man is a work in progress. Don’t overreact when we do not have things figured out as well as you do. Understand that we are trying and that we are doing these things because we love you. Do not overlook us when we are not in the same lane as you. Because at the end of the day, money is only money. Its not going to keep you happy. How we treat you and love you will. I am educated with an MBA and my Fiancee is a dentist (which means she makes twice what I do) but that does not intimidate or emasculate me. I was doing well before I met her but with her relating to my unlike any other woman has and she enhances who I am.

Ladies U’re 4’10-5’6in, u should look for short or average guys like 5’0-5’7in, not 6′in.. Thats for tall girls only like 5’8 and over can meet tall guy.. Come on ladies! Wake up! Stop thinking BS!!!! Get together right!!!!

Wow, is this really happenning. We have an opportunity to engage this topic and find answers and solutions, however we continue to perpetrate the problem. What we see here is the same problem that plagues our relationships and that is finger-pointing, brow beating, lack of respect for one another, need i go on?
This is not a black isssue!!!!!! It is a people issue. Blacks in America only represent of all black people worldwide. white people go through this as well. If we looked at their numbers we would not find them too much different.
I personally think that black women should raise their expectations of black men, but i dont mean financially. I have a lot of female friends and their arguements are not about the “money”, its all about respect and understanding. Until more women stand up and demand a better quality of man there will be no change. The sisters like to think that they look more to the heart of a man but on the real they are really looking at the swag. Swag is fashion and it will go out of style.
Oh my brothers, i have one thing to say to you. In the past it has been the black woman who has stood up and led our race. When do we as men take over, and show them what they should be desiring. When do we show them the love that they crave so much. We cant complain about them going to another race if we offer them nothing but pain.
If we used the same plan for financial success and applied the same commitment to finding a quality person the numbers would reverse. If you want a man or woman to treat u right first do your research. Find out what really makes you happy. Step out of your comfort zone. Stop using fairytales as your measuring stick. Fix yourself first, that goes for both of us!!!

well money the root of all evil.
some of us man dont need to be mistreated. 30% of female will not stay with a male who is not making bout the same amount. Most male will not allow a female take care of them (am one of them but my blood brother is not). And so, i think the result is ego on both of them.

Most of us male have had that female who is in charge who is a complete #@#@. Now, can you believe that person in a relationship where she is in charge.

I guess, when the role is reverse or when everything is equal, not every woman is smart enough to make the best decision and be respectful. I have been on the other side where i was not working, it wasnt pretty. So, i vowed not to be in a situation where the woman is the provider.

When man provide, they do it with heart. I know I do. when woman provide, they do it in such a way that bring you down. I have been there, it stinks. No man in the right mind would stay and so these women are single. it has nothing to do with brothers in jail

lol now this is getting really funny! still stuck on what you want not knowing that is isnt about you! it’s what she wants why should you care if you do not meet her standard?

I am just going to say something briefly here, on my BP Personal Message section i had nice inviting stuff about my black women and then i found out especially black women on this site and alot of Black American women are really caught up in vanity. Many have no idea how to take care of a family…they can’t cook, knows nothing on how to raise children, dont know how to take care of a home….but put them on 5th Ave in the city with a Open Credit Card and they can impress you with the knowledge of stores, clothes, Resturants and other crazy stuff. Yes you are educated but that is not what is going to make you a good woman or wife or mother. I am not putting down Black American women because West Indian Black women come here and get just the same way. I have met nice black women and many of them dont have a masters etc. In some regards i think Oprah and others set a bad example for most black women. Oprah has never been married, dont have kids, dating a successful black man for years etc and all our black women look to her as the standard bearer. Blackmen don’t give up on Black women you just don’t have to look for the ones that live around you. There are many good black women around the world just go and see for youself and leave the 42% here to the other races. Anyway, i changed my BP Personal Message and if you read it you will know why…the funny thing after i changed it i never got another response, which tells me the women that are on BP.

Amen Brother, I AGREE@sweetwilly41; I said that earlier in my earliest posting’s.

Wowwww! They still talkin about money and hs diplomas and s**t? lol – I am in philly stuck on step one – find attractive man….. that’s y I’m single. And I’ve always preferred being single anyway (something in my sign or so they say but Idc what the reason is, it’s my preference). Ppl tell me I should RAISE my standards bcuz Idc about name brands, job status (as long as employed or at least not asking me 4 cheddah). But I be damned b4 I settle 4 an ugly, fat bastard w/a beard and short ass pants and that’s on everythang! lol On the most serious note tho, I don’t like any other men but puerto rican men and black men, if we so outnumber them that I can’t get one I’m all set 2 die alone – I’d rather live lovely than live s**tty and settle 4 throw up worthy men just so the world can say whew – at least we got THAT black woman all linked up – lol @ all u dum f**ks who care about other ppl’s standards – it affects u not, get what u like n keep it moving. I love Kim, myself. Keep It Moving! lol

our race is gonna die off isnt it?? someone please tell me it isn’t so *smh* dumbass black people sicken me

Projectboyz_A1 or whatever your name is…..You’re retarded and no I’m not from the projects or the hood for that matter but yes. You are retarded and you need to get off this blog because you’re giving black men a bad name. You are the problem. Go to church. Get some self respect. Get some education. Get a life.

You are what’s wrong with the black family. Please so go date a white girl so you can be their problem. We like getting rid of the likes of you. Either that or seriously get yourself together. Become part of the solution. Help yourself out. But until then stay away and keep your comments to yourself.

neva1betta, that will never happen! be the one that changes things. Nothing betta for me is a black woman and i will have the best one for me and my daghter.

DAM SHAME BUT HALF THESE MEN DONT HAVE NO GOALS OR BETTER YET RESPECT FOR US WOMEN….A LOT OF THEM DONT GROW UP, AND IF A FEMALE HAVE A JOB A LOT OF THEM FEEL INTIMIDATED…AND MANY OTHER REASONS…ONE GOOD REASON IS A LOT OF MEN DO NOT KEEP IT REAL…THEY TALK A GOOD ONE, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO BUSINESS….DEAD MEAT…BETTER ALONE AND MISERABLE THAN TO B WITH A MAN THAT MAKES YOU MISERABLE, I DONT NEED THAT EXTRA WEIGHT, FOR REAL…

I think both black men and black women have issues meeting each other because both sides have too many preconceived notions and generalizations about the other.

The Reason why black women are having this problem and issue is because Black Mothers are not Bringing up Both Black Boys and Girls right. They are teaching their Daughters to be independant strong etc while raising young Black Boys to be weak. So what happens is that Blacks both Black Men and Women are disportioned where you got Black Women ahead and Black Men behind.

When people talk about how a Child is raised they don’t say look at how that Father raised that Child it is look at how that Mother raised her Child whether good or bad. So when it comes to Black Mothers they can raise their Black Sons to be whatever they want them to be a Gentlemen, Educated, etc. So when Black Men are not at the level that they need to be at then Black Mothers don’t get it. Why is my Son in Jail etc and they dont’ get why. So this starts to effect the Black Relationship with Blacks. So when Black Women are confused it is because of the fact that they are not looking at Black Children or the Future Generation if their will be one because of the fact that due to influences Interracial Dating and Marriages, Homosexuality, etc that are breaking the Black Relationship up Blacks are confused.

Then you have a larger number of Black Women due to Unplanned Parenthood from people like Margrett Sanger who tried to kill off Black Babies and Blacks are not looking towards our own Survival as a Race and Future Generations only what we can have now. So we not even looking at hey guess what I am trying to make sure that I have a Black Marriage and Family no it is about Interrracial Dating and Marriage and all other types of crazyiness which is causing Blacks to die off so we will pretty much die off this planet as a Race.

Because Blacks refused to look at the core of the matter The Black Family.

What? We are dying off? Thats news to me. Its more women than men anyways. Works out perfectly.

sweetwilly41 I agree with you and I hope alot of black women read you comment with an educated and intelligent open mind. I am 27 years old, educated, single, employed, and with no children, but here in Chicago, women are too judgemental and always want to find flaws in me, than find what we have in common. Black women I love them so dearly, and don’t want to be a playa, but I look at some of my friends who mistreat women and what not, black women seem to find that attractive. I am not soft or anything, but I enjoy having fun over cursing someone out in public and being ignorant. I think sometimes a black woman make wrong decisions about the type of men they have, then when it doesn’t work out to her liking, she wants to outcast and disrespect all black men. What is your true worth black woman? I find the educated and successful black women are more prone to stick their noses in the air like they have achieved something women 20 or 30 years ago have not accomplished, and those women still took care of their family, cooked, kept the man happy, and still took care of her business.

I mean no disrespect to black women and I know I am going to hear alot of negative comments, but most black women of today are somewhat lazy, and riding the backs of the REAL strong sistahs of the 40s-70s. No one will ever have true happiness in life because life are full of challenges, but those women who are 40 years old and above made life happen to them without a credit card, and dating a bunch of other men to do it and didn’t have the $50,000 a year job either. Women of my generation (Generation Y), complain about alot of things, and act like they are 15 or 16 years old, when they are in their mid to late 20s. Despite the media and B.S. statistics, alot of brothas are getting their lives together, are educated, and are seeking that Queen to be his woman. But some black women have this mentality that white America wants you to have, that you are better, and that a brotha is beneath you…When all in all, look at your past, and tell me sistah, are you truly better than anyone? Someone had to give you that opportunity, and yeah you earned it maybe, but someone gave you a chance, you just don’t walk into jobs nowadays and turn your resume in, no you are online with the rest of us looking for employment. It’s not about this being a black problem, but it is happening in our community where a black woman or black man won’t date a person based on their skin complexion or lack of education. I think personally, we are the most judgemental race out there, and we need to worry about US, not everyone else. Let’s be real, other races are NOT worried about us..

Alot of black women are single because they think having a job makes them better, having an education makes them stronger, and not having a man is independence. The black woman’s mind has truly gotten weaker, and no wonder why we are the second minority in the nation because life is not just set for you to live for yourself because you will die, and will not take those degrees, your job, or true enough that man..But love for your husband and that child to me is more important that that pay check or credit card. Funny when a black man is arrogant or c**ky, he needs to be taken down a peg, but a sistah is the same way, and it’s strength and women empowerment, yeah o.k…sure..Sounds like that black woman is lacking true character, spritual essence, and heart that a REAL black woman will have. Not using a credit card, and shopping for shoes..Seem like the sistahs are becoming the new white women on Michigan Avenue here in Chicago.

Again, I love my black women, but your minds are becoming weak minded and you are purchasing shoes, purses, and have more love for materialist items, than the joys of love, marriage, and having a family. I hear black women say nowadays they are waiting for God to bring them their husband. Let me ask this question, did you wait for God to get that job? or go to that university? So why don’t you take the initiative and help yourself in having or finding a good man??? God helps those that help themselves.

As we are about to be in our 30s or currently in our 30s, I hope black women and men can learn to respect and understand each other. Not to sit here and let the media, white America, and other negative forces dictate to us what we should be like how we should act. It just seems we are turning a frown to each other too much and smiling in white faces more when we should learn to love and understand each other more. Oh yeah, for those employed black women, be careful how you judge a man based on his career, because you might just lose yours next week.

Love and respect each other black people.

This is not complicated, ppl are basically saying the same thing over n over again in different words or simpler form…botton line is they’re single cos they CHOOSE

U_Aint_Kool with the realest post on this joint. Woman stop chasing fake Plies ass nigs, hit the gym and stop having all these babies before you feel the need for an honest Joe. I cant count how many times I see a good looking woman and the first sentence is “my baby/babies are my world” SMH. Getting so bad pregnant broads posting and are looking for another dude before they even kicked out the last dudes seed LOL. Men read a book,educate ourselves, get a job besides the hustle if thats your thing, learn how to spell, spellcheck must be off on alot of computers around this joint, and hit the gym up too. We all should be taking care of our bodies. Be the male/female version of what you want to attract. Dont be that dude that doesnt take care of himself, and his finances and then thinks he deserves a dime with money. Same for the ladies. Also we need to just show more love to each other in general and stop all this everyone is hard towards each other, out to catch the next person slipping BS. Work on our relationships as every day black people and that along with respecting each other will make our relationships stronger. White people probably look at some of the things we post and laugh and the ignorance created by the different medias. F**K BET!!

neva1betta yes we as Blacks are going to die off as a race Dr. Gwendolyn Goldsby Grant talks about the the annihilation through integration. Also Dr Francis Cress Welsing talks about how Blacks are going to face racial genocide as a people. There are also several other Black Psychologist and Sociologist who speak about these issues so yes we going to die off and it is based on Blacks Selfishness and well the Survival Patterns were taught by other Races like Whites so that we will do anything to Survive even if it means our own Destruction as Blacks.

Well I guess Im in the minority. Height and weight requirement: 6″8, 260lbs, check! Education:MBA, check! Love black women: Hellyeah!! Nothing better! Engaged to one! Never thought I was in the minority like that, lls

the reason why most sisters these days are single is because,some think that they s**t dont stank,maken the brothers go to the white women,if they stop tryna be the man and the woman in the house hold and to know their places as women,then maybe the brothers will come back home,besides,the other half tries to use their looks for the wrong reason,i love my sisters but they really gonna have to stop thinking that they are all that.

I love black women and I say it’s not a shortage of Men, my thing is most black women don’t know how to Love a BLAck MAN. Reading a book or part-taking in a blog don’t help, stop wanting the world to always to jump to one’s becking call. Understand the emotional side of a MAN and Love him not what he can do for you. After the great S*x and the dinners and B.S of multi-personalities we get feed up. GOD made the only soul-mate it’s you, realize only YOU can make YOU happy and others bring JOY in your life. Love your-self as GOD would love you and you fine it’s easy to find someone that will compliment you. MEN don’t care about superficial B.S…..

So many are just useless. I see a guy up here talking about black women with children. There is a male that helped her produce those children right? Where is his self respect and honor? Black men are misguided, brainwashed, without hope for themselves, and disillusioned by what they should desire and what makes a good woman. They have been taught that the height of beauty is definitely not his own, but I will say that if you don’t love the black woman you don’t love yourself.

SELF HATE, IS A MUTHA ISNT IT………… SO IS WILLIE LYNCH……………..

Well hell. I think that its a true statement and its not cus there isn’t enough single men i think females want more than can be expected sometimes. not saying that u should lower your standards i’m just saying there is alot to think about. like the fact that alot of men are in the system for crimes. alot of men are also involved with the multiple mothers of kids and women dont like that so its hard to only blame it on the lazy no job having men with no goals but to sell dope all there lives. can that be reversed no. will it change no. its funny that black men would rather mess wit other races but there own but that is something that black women have something to do wit right? once again no. black men dont want black women cus they cant run over them. if they find one they can he will run her so far in the ground that when she wakes up she gonna be a bitter single female. this is a problem that is gonna only get worst deal wit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another thing as I just watched the video…Steve Harvey is NOT the guru of black men, maybe the brothas of his time and generation, but does not know the men of Generation Y. I agree with him about standards of the black woman, and not to overlook brothas who are not corporate America, but I am sorry, black men need to get it together, but so does the black women. I take a black woman out on a date, and I have my own place and car, but a sista will STILL judge me in a negatively light because I like watching cartoons, or because I am into wrestling, or because I am open minded about some sexual topics. Black women who date outside of their race, good luck to you, because believe me, the family will not accept you and will make sure you know that you are still black.

Also, they speak about the back pocket girl, but what about the back pocket boy, the black woman who dates multiple men, and always have an emotional B.S. excuse about not having a father. I am sorry, if you are a black woman who dates alot of men and do not want to settle down, how do you except black men to want to settle down??????????? LOL…Steve Harvey suggests to go for the older men?? HA!! That’s a joke, most of them think shaking their wallet means a commitment, and then alot of the older brothas ourside of the 36 act like teenage boys themselves. Thanks again for NOT teaching and helping the younger generation Steve, but trying to get the older brothas like yourself some booty in the process.

I am a man that can admit I have my flaws, but you mean to tell me you don’t. When it comes to being attractive, what attracts you to a man in the first place. Some women find me very handsome, some find me not their type as I stand at 6’3″ but I am 255..I am a teddy size brotha..Because I am not big on muscles on top of muscles, that makes me less eligible??? Seem like a black woman finds anything and everything wrong with a brotha, but never think that maybe they are the problem and need to re-invent themselves.

Most of you sistas need to think about what are you doing to NOT have a brotha by your side and maybe you are responsible for not being married. Maybe if you are not married to money, your job, or education, then you can have a husband. BTW, for the men, once you have that woman, give up the playing B.S. because we are all getting older and leave the games for the teenagers..It is time to GROW UP MY PEOPLE!!!

Where Black people are concerned, the increasing numbers of interracial unions could eventually lead to what sex therapist Gwendolyn Goldsby Grant, Ed.D., calls annihilation through integration, a weakening of the culture and economic resources of the Black community. So the question becomes, How do we ensure our cultural and economic survival as a people? One way is to start early and plainly telling our boys to marry Black girls. We need to put the emphasis on our boys because they are more likely than our girls to choose a White partner. Add to that the fact that men still take the lead when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and it becomes obvious that molding our boys’ attitudes is critical.

I am not sure the number of Slaves who died I heard once before something like 600 million blacks were killed during slavery that means that generations of blacks kept being murder. So had it not been for a few Blacks who fought back Blacks would not be here so I do believe yes Blacks can die off that is the problem with most Blacks we the only Race that thinks things can’t happen to us.

There is an unequal showing of Black men and White women cuz you guys pick the nastiest white Ho’s to get with.

1. Men play to many games
2. Women like bad guys…(they like the kinda of guys who play games, if they didn’t then they wouldn’t talk to those kind or type of guys ova and ova and ova again.
3. Some women jus don’t know what a man is.
4. Women live in the past. They go through so many bad guys to where in some points in some women lives they either “can’t believe they have a good guy” and let him go……or scared of being hurt and don’t let anything develop and jus miss out on their blessings
5. Some women don’t have a “go getta” attitude. THey still stuck in 1950 and still sayin s**t like “the man suppose to do this and this and this” Man, s**t changed, this 2010. its not the same no more.,…I bet she not wearing them same clothes from 1950 lol…. A woman gonna change with the season. everything something new come out, she gonna upgrade an get it….But the only reason why she don’t wanna change when it comes to relationship because the idea of the man doin this an this and this or whateva….All that favors a woman. Its like an bonus or an extra way to spoil her and she don’t wanna let go.

BUT anywoman who can overcome all of this is a Strong Black Woman….Its very few although every woman wanna claim to be.

I love how da brutha’s tried to pretend like its a Sista’s fault that they chase fat white women LOL

You dudes would stick your diks in a donut hole if it would get you off…

You have no one to blame but yourselves…

Cos they CHOOSE to be single, they’re playing the fields just like men do it…Society always tell the young ppl to have fun b4 they get married, the older ones tell the younger ones about their bad experiences and their failed marriages…People are discouraging others not to get married saying they’re too young. Women wait till their skin starts to wrinkle up to realize they need to settle down…when a young person mention marriage in this modern society ppl think he/she is crazy…So being single today is IN now, no one wanna be cuffed cos that limits her fun with other eye candies that’s out there. Personally i’ve seen women running away from men who want to settle down, making excuses about being too busy to be there for a man….but they never too busy to be club hoppin, shopppin n dating new dude every week. When a woman is young, attractive, successful and educated…she thinks she rules the world and her reign will never come to an end until reality strikes

DarkZero… I hear what you are saying and way to call Steve out on that. Truth is unless a sister has ambitions and and is goal driven like myself, its not point in getting with her. Last thing I need is someone thats not contributing, if anything she would be slowing my success. I don’t do drama. I Love my sisters, if I eventually marry i would want it to be a black woman but if all the ones about something are taken I wont discriminate. Thats how see it…

I have dated some black men who’ve treated me well. I’ve dated white men who’ve treated me great! Why? It wasn’t about the money or prestige. It wasn’t about the home-training or the self-esteem. My WHITE ex-fiance took care of all of my needs. My black ex-boyfriend expected me to take care of all of his. Somewhere in there needs to be a balance,,,but why the drastic difference? I live in the Mid-West where there is a dire shortage of black men and the white men here who date black women date us BECAUSE we are strong and beautiful and focused and beautiful and educated and beautiful,,,LOL! As a black woman I think that we expect a black man to understand our struggle. We expect them to be the savior / hero / father / protector / provider / teacher / foundation that we never had growing up. For most black men this is just too much weight. Black men come into relationships needing redemption from some past emasculation or needing to lord over someone because throughout their lives they’ve been degraded and treated like animals. I think that we assume that because our partner is black they will fulfill all of our greatest needs,,,and in reality,,,that will most likely never happen. We come into all of our relationships with baggage, emotional scars, distrust, and fear. Young black men and women these days don’t know how to unite. It’s not about hating “whitey” but it’s about helping ourselves. Our mothers and fathers had civil rights movements and demonstrations where they were physically fighting to stay together, fighting to get an equal education, fighting to keep their families together. I think alot of good black men don’t want to hear all of the negative that alot of black women exude. I also believe that some black men date daddy’s little white girl because they want to get back at the man. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating outside your “race” but the harm comes in losing our positive culture and heritage. I think as black families we tend to pass down a lot of negative history to our children. We teach them “white man did this and this to US and we survived so be Proud,,,” when in actuality we need to teach our children to be proud of success instead of survival! We’re not animals that escaped the trap,,,we are chosen children of royalty who have risen above the mire! Now, let me go find me a white man wit some money,,,lol

LOL

I tend to have my own challenges with dating. I own my own home, have no baby mammas, no rap sheet, and a college degree. . . .but sistas tend to prejudge when they see my CD collection. There’s just something about finding Megadeth and Iron Maiden CDs in a brutha’s CD collection that drives ‘em away, LOL.

Its sad but true most men are afraid of a women who is beautiful, educated, and have something going for themselves. They are intimidated by what you have become. Steve Harvey made a great point that the men have not been raised properly. They have been taught to go for the fast money and live that pimp life and thats not whats lifes about. And that is why most men are locked up. They glamorized the “gangsta life” and wasn’t taught that getting SOME type of education was key to living successful. A smart woman don’t want a man that can’t relate to her intelligent mind. Women, my black sisters, are out here getting the money. They should show statistic on that and see who is ahead(as far as black men amd women). Im not saying that we are gold diggers but who wants a broke nicca? I wrote something on my blog similar to this because black men won’t commit and it all goes back to that “gangsta mentality.” Black men need to step up and become real men to women. If things don’t change the cycle just repeats itself. People wake up.

I aint mad at ya JoJo. Do what you feel you need to do. My feelings ain’t hurt. I did notice you said ex faince meaning he ain’t taking care of your needs now. Did he find a better sister or what?

sosa_from_md you said it best minus the interracial dating part but you hit it on the head. But everything else is real if Blacks would stop with this survival stuff and become more unselfish and stop letting other races try to segregate and divide blacks our families would be where they should be at. Yeah and the Psychological Effects of Media deeming that Black Couples together aren’t beautiful and trying to make it seem as if Interracial Dating is better for Blacks.

I’ve been posting on this thread because it’s slow at work and I’m a bit bored…

I’m Italian American and my personal attractions run towards Black women, (for a plethora of reasons unique to my own personality).

However when it comes down it it, when you get past all the diatribes about culture, history, race etc, a dude is a dude and a chick is a chick.

Black women have the same wants and desires and white women, Hispanic women, asian etc.

Black men however got some issues, and I personally don’t give a crap a about slavery, I never owned anyone, no one in my family every did, we came to the USA post civil rights so there is none of that white guilt s**t here…

But dudes, slave history or not, you need to (as a cultural group, not speaking individually) get up off your lazy azzes and collectively remove the labels YOU continue to allow others to PUT ON YOU.

See yourself as a MAN first, not a BLACK MAN first…

Yeah Yeah, before you go shouting all the whitey doesn’t understand what we been through crap, please realize whitey doesn’t give a crap what you been through.

Hahaha, No mrmilk26. I can have him right now if I wanted him. He’s an ex because he had too much baggage! Hahaha! But he is still a really sweet guy.

Fiance my bad… this crown jewel of Russia is no joke. We aint going nowhere, the cream always rises to the top.

time to burst a few delusional bubbles here:

because they’re ugly, fat, stupid, have multiple baby daddies, or simply are NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP.

in short, for the same reason a mid-20 percentile of white women are single, and why 45% of black men are single (delete ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’ and put in ‘broke’ and ‘short’ for men).

life sucks for the ugly fat women, the short and broke men, the multiple baby mamas and baby daddies, and ignorant.

the article was laughable, saying “…any blessed with brains and beauty, finding the right man is proven elusive. Are their standards to high or are the pickings to slim?”

bwahahahahahahahaha, i’ve YET to see a fine, fit, pretty, educated/skilled, childLESS, nice personality woman (based not on a black woman’s FRIENDS standards, but on a MAN’S standards) be alone, cry about being alone, or giving a damn about black women that chronically have no man. know why? because THEY DONT SUFFER THAT FATE. they either:
1) have a man of quality (per WOMEN’S standards);
2) can get a man ( per WOMEN’S standards).

so, the fat, ugly, stupid, broke, ghetto, multiple out of wedlock kid having, shyt for attitude sisters have to suck it up and drive on…for some, its a change of attitude; for others, its about eating less and execising more. for a few, they’re hopeless.

oh fugging well.

Not meaning to generalize Black women because each and every one is different and it would be falsehood to say every elderly person or every black male drives a cadillac that has hardly been driven or has 22” rims on it. There could be many reasons that 42% of black women are still single: if that’s accurate. It may be due to the fact that a large portion of black males are incarcerated, a percentage of black males are also married outside of their race, a portion of black males as well as black females have different reasons and simply desire not to settle down. Black males are a minority to begin with. Also many black males are so intrigued and infatuated with beautiful black women’s attituded, style of dress weather it is lady like or not lady like (cause ultimately it is what you can’t see that turns you on) voluptous bodies, sexy stillettos, smooth skin, designer nails and everything else that a black woman can bring. They want only to have as many of these Delectable and savory caramel and chocolate trophies as they can have before they can have no more. Would some of the black women be to blame for presenting themselves in such a desireable nature, that many black males want only what they can see and not what they can create with a woman?

If you are going for gold but the silver is so readily available. Do you attain that which is in your grasp? Or strive for the almost impossible gold?

High standards may be part of the reason as well. Times and expectations of society is a contributing factor also.

Used to be having a piece of man was better than having no man at all. However today, generally black females want all or nothing. Many women used to stay with a man still if he overstepped his bounds and layed a hand on her once or twice a month. However today its simply unacceptable.
[CASE AND POINT] New age society and expectations of what a man is has truly limited the amount of bullsh*t a sista or woman at all will take. The new expectations of Black females demands exactly that, a Man and nothing less. On the down side a man can full fill his duties to a woman but the moment he looses his job he’s no longer a man, No No No today sistas want perfection or dang close to it. Is that too much to expect women?

As for the really curious as to why 42% of black women are still single, here is two more.

There are real and intelligent gentlemen out there who would love nothing more than to find a soul mate. Many of whom recieve no play from black females because for all their being polite and respecting a woman recieve things like, your a nerd (because he’s a black male and he’s smart) you have no game ( maybe he just knows how to talk to a woman and is’nt used to just gamming up any female in a short skirt) but one of the ultimate mistakes made is becomming Just Friends with this guy.

When you listen to the music many enjoy and are persuaded by today. You hear things like “put my d**k in yo mouth” “she aint nothing but a bi**h” etc…. How can you expect a man to be decent or expect to be a decent person yourself with these kinds of views on women?

Women it’s the guy that listens to the old school Peggy Scott Adams,JT.,Body and Soul,H-Town Silk, Public announcement, Barry white,T.K. Soul, Shirley Brown, Floyd Taylor and all the others that wants to respect you and truly views you as Egyptian Queens.

Also Fellas let us not forget what the bible says.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord”

How many women love the thug and gangster folks that are immitated and portrayed out here instead of wanting an educated intelligent black male who is in school and up and coming to a career. the media has trained most of us to be materialistic and to love what is in tv and mags. but the only person who is at fault is the black women…

rain, c’mon, man.

black men are MEN. men who can pick and choose women simply GET THE BEST WOMEN of whatever race.

and, there’s ANOTHER REASON why one honestly RARELY sees a pretty, fit, childless, sane black women crying about ‘no black men’:

THEY GET THE BEST BLACK MEN (or BEST men period, of whatever race).

only fuglies complain.

awww man : ( I AM THAT WOMAN, that would love to change every STUPID Black mans mind about WHAT A BLACK WOMAN Really is and im sure im not the only sistah…but cant save’m all GOD BLESS BLACK PEOPLE im to young for this headache/heartache black people r going to be the death of me!!! MANY PPL do it to themselves though, why stay with someone who will damage your emotions and thoughts so much that you start blaming the next person for what they done to you??? it should just teach u to avoid the second time…if you find yourself dealing with the same CRAP out of everyone U MEET, its time to look at yourself and what attracts you..and well thats no ones fault but your own You shouldn’t even put yourself in that position, even though people change up it happens, u should step off at the first sign of stupidity! To hear this crap from ppl older than me..it’s ridiculous BLACK PEOPLE NEED TO WAKE THE HELL UP…FIND GOD AND YOU’LL FIND YOURSELVES all this living in the moment crap is messing people up bad!!! With all the things u black men say to bring down black women how the hell do u expect to find a good woman?? I KNOW IM a good one, not having to FIND MYSELF…but listening to this crap right here WILL GET U DISRESPECTED very quickly! so dont expect any good to come from a REAL BLACK WOMAN hell some of u men r just as bitter!! To many ppl still look at appearance, get to know someone for who they are everyone has a story. they just need someone to listen…cus these BS ass opinions don’t just pop up. Any person in their right minds will know that you cant hold 1 person accountable for another ones actions! I’m not at the point where i give a damn about everyone JUST YET, but i do TRY to respect everyone. Im sending out a HUGE PRAYER TONIGHT ; )

matrix1974 most sistas like their darker skin brothas I can agree with you on black women will sellout with a white man, latino man, asian man, native american, east indian whoever but they ain’t running after lighter skin brothas they love darker skin brothas.

MLMILK26
AAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnddddddddd, that right there is the exact attitude that keeps black men begging and fighting for crumbs!!!!!

Naw boo… You got me twisted. I dont want crumbs, Im after the whole loaf of bread baby. Must have struck a nerve there. It was a question that all, you said ex and if he was taking care of all your needs I just wondered why?

I’m one thats keeps it real 100 allday all nite…There are so many single black women out here for numerous reasons.The most I see is that sometime we dont know what the word “SINGLE”.Single me one…There are sistahs out there with 4 and 5 kids trying to acheive a serious relationship which mostly is impossible to maintain..Children require alot..A beginning of a relationship requires the same.A woman cant expect the attention she needs and deserves when she cant offer it to this man.Alot of times it’s not the womans fault she has alot of kids to bring into a relationship,but she has to be realistic about it.But some just used real bad judgement and have 4n5 and never been married which I think is really “stupid”.But men will do what they do if you let them.Ladies U have to stop having so high of standards if you cant provide the same..I think the black race dating game is totally unrepairable..Seems everyone is jus out for themselves and what they can get…The more the options the more we wanta test them out.And women are starting to do the same as we men now..
All I can say pray GOD sends you someone to be in ya corner and he does….Hold onto like the world is gonna end.

bostonslvboy before you talk about how fake a wanna be ass thug white nigga wanna be black nigga and mind you. you not a brotha so please stop using that word cuz on and you not black so stop using sista. Now run off at the mouth again stupid.

Background

Throughout American history, the white male and the Black female have had an open sexual relationship. Not consensual by any means, it was born out of rape, humility, and control. During slavery whites “…introduced the house slaves to white ways, minimal education and non-consensual sexual relations.”1 It has long been held that even the father of the United States, George Washington, had sexual intercourse with his female slaves and it was this behavior that may have resulted in his death. He reportedly caught pneumonia because of his frequent visits to the slave quarters, which were less fit for human habitation.

The most perverse celebration of these associations was Thomas Jefferson’s relationship with one of his slaves, Sally Hemmings. Many have celebrated it as a romance of the forbidden fruit, but as Randall Robinson asserts: “Jefferson was a slave holder, a racist, and – if one accepts that consent cannot be given if it cannot be denied – a rapist.”2 Black people at this time had no rights and were considered the property of white men to do as they pleased. Robert Newsome, a sixty year old slaver, “…needed more than a hostess and a manager of household affairs; he required a sexual partner. Newsome seems to have deliberately chosen to purchase a young slave girl to fulfill this role…”3 It is certain that “…from the moment he purchased Celia, Newsome regarded her as both his property and concubine.”4 And “[o]n his return to Callaway County, Newsome raped Celia, and by that act once established and defined the nature of the relationship between the master and his newly acquired slave”5 – she was just fourteen years old and that was probably her first sexual experience. During this time as well as much later on, “[f]ew Black women reached the age of sixteen without having been molested by a White male.”6

Without any rights, legal recourse or protection from local state or federal authorities, a Black woman could make no decision concerning anything that affected her life. There were no battered women’s shelters, N.O.W movement, rape crisis center, NAACP, Al Sharpton, or any support sympathetic to her discomforts. She was completely incapable of rejecting her master’s wishes – her alternatives were to do or die.

This was the beginning of the soiling of the Black female in America. It was especially devastating when seen thorough the spectacles of Black men. The experience painted an unflattering picture of the her that has remained in the mental albums of Black men. She was reduced to a sexual brood mare to increase the slave population – which helped to create the enormous white wealth that empowered the colonizers – as well as to satisfy the slaver’s salacious sickness; degenerating her to an ejaculatory dumping ground for the grotesque pleasures forced on the conquered. There is no denying “…that the white man has had the chief hand in undermining the morals of the Negro women. He has been living in concubinage with them for over three hundred years!”7 In Souls of Black Folk, W.E. B. Dubois said “the red stain of bastardy, which two centuries of systemic legal defilement of Negro women had stamped upon [this] race, meant not only the loss of ancient African chastity, but also the hereditary weight of a mass of corruption from white adulterers, threatening almost the obliteration of the Negro home.”8 One slave recalled:

“My marster owned three plantations and three hundred slaves. He started out wid two ‘oman slaves and raised three hundred slaves. One wuz called “Short Peggy” and the udder wuz called “Long Peggy.” Long Peggy had twenty-five chilluns. Long Peggy, a black ‘oman, wuz boss ob de plantation. Marster freed her atter she had twenty-five chilluns. Just think o’ dat-raisin’ three hundred slaves wid two ‘omans.”9

Harriet Jacobs in her slave narrative, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl recounted:

“For years my master had done his utmost to pollute my mind with foul images and to destroy the pure images inculcated by my grandmother…”10

“He tried his utmost to corrupt the pure principles my grandmother had instilled. He peopled my young mind with unclean images, such as only a vile monster could think of. I turned from him with disgust and hatred. But he was my master. I was compelled to live under the same roof with him – where I saw a man forty years my senior daily violating the most sacred commandments of nature.”11

Dirt floors, barns, cotton fields, slave houses, back porches, bathrooms, outhouses and any place one could imagine, served as the theater for the slave master’s pornographic exploits. Not only was the Black woman brought down, but she was now dirty, used, abused, passed around, and been around.

The Contrived Goddess

On the other side, the white woman was held up as the pure, Christian, ideal example of womanhood and more importantly, she was completely off limits to the Black man. If the eyes of a Black man were to land on a white woman it could mean death. Black men were dehumanized through whipping, hanging, castration, decapitation, burning, drowning, dismembering and various other forms of atrocious human behavior – simply to right the wrongs of a casual glance. A practice that is still in vogue in modern American society. It was just 1989 when Yusuf Hawkins was shot to death in Brooklyn because he was mistaken for someone seeing a white girl.

Consequently, the white woman eventually developed a cry of omnipotence. All that was needed was an accusation against a Black person to trigger the wrath of her male protectors. Even if she cried wolf there was guaranteed punishment for the accused. Charles Stewart tried to use it when he murdered his wife in Massachusetts and blamed it on a Black man. He wanted insurance money to open a restaurant – she was eight months pregnant when he shot her in the head. As a result, most of Boston’s Blacks were harassed and detained… while a grown Black man was arrested and later “confessed” to a crime Mr. Stewart was found to have committed. Susan Smith used it to try and scatter the scent of suspicion after she drowned her children and blamed a Black man for kidnaping them.

More recently, in the summer of 2002, Bryant Gumbel’s son, Brandon, was arrested and held for 24 hours because a white woman said he looked like the man who attacked her. Not long after, the entire state of Florida was on lock down as the world watched three Muslim men detained for 17 hours because some white woman said she heard them talking suspiciously. And the story of young Emmett Till’s brutal hanging, beating and drowning, for whistling at a white store clerk in the 1950′s, still remains a shameful part of American history: “Dare I ask how does it feel to have a horrible crime committed in your name?,”12 declared Nikki Giovanni, on speaking before white women.

While the Black woman could be violated at will, the white woman’s comfort was protected with the ultimate price. In this case the death penalty was not law, it was habit. This environment helped to greatly increase any interest the Black man may have had in the white woman. If the Black man had no innate interest in the white woman, he certainly would have developed some just out of curiosity. Anyone would be intrigued by what was being protected. A Ph.D. in human anatomy and genetics would find interest in a white woman if he was denied access to her. And just being denied the ability to even look at someone would create an interest, and over the years an obsession would develop – a phenomenon that is evident in many Black men.

Sexual Distance

The more the Black woman was soiled, the more the white woman was deified. On many occasions, even looking at a movie poster with a white woman on it was criminal. As the physical and social distance between the white woman and the Black man increased, the psycho-sexual distance between the two decreased, developing a mutual interest. One could view this as a psychological rubber band. Left alone, the opposing side of the rubber band are not drawn together, but pull them apart and the slightest give sends the two rushing toward each other.

Additionally, the white man’s relationship with the Black woman and his protection of white women created an appetite of vengeful lust within many Black men, as well as a deep interest by the white woman. Interactions between white men and Black women were in your face and very difficult to ignore. It was not subtle, or on the down low; it was vile, repugnant, evil and unforgiving. The experience coined the most used word in America when describing someone or even something that is despised – motherf**ker.

There was absolutely no respect for the emotional existence of the Black family. Entering slave quarters the white man would walk past the Black man and his children and defile any Black female at will – that female could even be a child. He would also warn the Black man that the experience had better be good; and oftentimes the Black male would pledge that it would be good, as if to provide the rapist a sexual guarantee. On the way out the rapist would arrogantly acknowledge that it was good and rub the Black man’s head. This event would destroy the dignity and self-respect of any man and question his worth as well as the repute of his woman

His World

If a Black woman bore a child for a white man it was against the law for her to ever tell a soul who the father was. They all knew that resistance was not an option. Any sort of defiance would result in the death or further dehumanization of any or all involved in such action. Reprehensible hell would be the upshot of protest. One slave recalls: “They whipped my father ’cause he looked at a slave they killed and cried.”13 Another man had his right ear “cut off close to his head, and he had received a hundred lashes on his back. He had beaten the overseer for a brutal assault on my mother, and this was his punishment.”14

Yet sometimes the fragile male ego would not yield the benefit of doubt to the victim, and some Black men found it easy to resent and devalue the Black woman for experiencing an existence beyond her control. Further, the Black woman’s inevitable guilt and shame forced her to devalue herself – dismantling any hint of dignity she could muster to reincarnate her sexual integrity.

A visual depiction of this psycho-sexual savagery heaped on the Black family can be seen in portraits throughout history, as lightskinned children are photographed in families with much darker parents. This way of life would confound any man’s emotional, psychological and physical stability.

Just consider how most men react to the past relationships his present girlfriend may have had. The mere mention of an exboyfriend could elicit an angry reaction from the average male of any race. Can you imagine living in a world where loved ones are randomly and consistently violated at will, while being powerless to stop it?

Even circ**stance oftentimes failed to encourage the fragile male ego into concession. The mind can be selfish and unforgiving and thoughts have no threshold for sensitivity. Thoughts are immature and a mature thought is merely an afterthought. Subconscious thoughts are even more devastating. The subconscious, the father of the conspiracy, can warp imagination and twist a normal human being into a jealous cynic. It could lead the Black man to wander in the wilderness of speculation about whether his woman enjoys the slave master; he could be lead into an intellectual coma where he questions why his wife isn’t “fighting back,” or putting up resistance.

Her World

As a result the Black woman dare not spurn the Black man’s sexual advances, because his imagination could also conclude that she prefers the oppressor over her husband. So even if she feels soiled, she is not allowed to, because she is now forced into the business of stroking egos … and other things. This often led the Black woman down a road of poor sexual self-expression. The psychological burden of having to pleasure those she desired and those she despised helped to collapse her sensual priorities; turning her into a sexual mechanic ­ unconcerned, unfeeling, uncaring, and uninterested. She now has to fake faking it. All of which comes without reward, salvation, or security. If the Black man senses this he will wander, and often did, if only with his eyes. Since he is prohibited from wandering toward the white woman, he wanders where there is no consequence: his daughter, niece, sister, cousin, and sometimes even back to his mother, thereby completing the cycle begun by the oppressor. This further devalues the Black woman in all areas of life and was not just relegated to slave quarters; all Black women became fair game. Age was not a deterrent. Fidelity was not even a consideration; if the Black woman wanted exclusivity, she was not certain she could get it. Her slave master was incorrigible, while her husband was enticed into emulating him. A legacy that is passed on to the children and their children and looped like a monotonous hip-hop grove for generations.

His Journey

But no wandering is more interesting than the Black man’s ultimate destination – the white woman. After seeing the white male ravage the Black woman it was only natural that he would want to reciprocate. Whether it was to get even or just out of curiosity, a journey toward the white woman will be embarked upon. It’s like the classic Richard Pryor joke, where the white guy comes to secure a liaison with a Black prostitute and the gatekeeper barks out: “how come you motherf**kers don’ t bring no white b***hes when you come up here?” You got ours bring some of yours is the natural reaction.

Market for Atrocity

The soiling of the Black woman did not operate in a vacuum. It extended far outside the slave quarters and further into society: “historical scholarship has confirmed abolitionist charges that slave women were frequently abused by white men.”15 Indeed, not all whites owned slaves, so many whites did not have this evil, licentious luxury; still, one did not have to own slaves to be perversely nourished by the nectar of the Black woman. Quite the opposite became true. Slave owners were known to lend out their “girls” to friends or relatives.

It was not uncommon for a slaver to sell, trade, let out or give as a present, a Black girl or woman to a business colleague to settle debts or use as exchange for profit – “Scholarship has shown that there sometimes existed a willingness on the part of fathers and sons to share slave mistresses… Senator James Henry Hammond, of South Carolina, was engaging in sexual relationships with two slave women, mother and daughter. He later gave both women to his legitimate son, Harry, who was also apparently involved in an affair with the daughter and who had fathered a child by her, as the elder Hammond admitted he may have also done.”16

Remember, Black people were not allowed to officially be married because they had to remain mobile instruments of exchangeable capital. The term husband I used earlier was to loosely connect the Black man to the mother of his children. He may not have been her ‘husband’ nor she his ‘wife’ but they were a family, and that family could be broken apart at the whim of the slave master. It was here that this human juggling took on a new life in the area of sex.

Perverse Duties

Picking cotton and cleaning houses were not the only value of a female slave ­ the job description was substantially broader and there was no union. As a result, she became a commodity to be traded, sold, and w***ed to satisfy a variety of hungers in the white male’s appetite. Essentially, some of the first pimps may have been sitting presidents. Her humanity had no value but her v****a often carried a high price ­ especially since it was unlimited. The Black woman was even used as a rite of sexual passage for young white boys: “David, [Newsome] at seventeen, may have welcomed the presence of a female slave his age. It is possible that he might have hoped to share her sexual favours.”17 Even today this is still in practice. Various white religious groups celebrate coming of age rituals by having young Black strippers perform at their ceremonies. I interviewed a number of adult entertainers who told shocking stories of devout, God-fearing people soliciting sex for their young men – prices can be commanded as high as $5,000.

Black women were not just used for sex but also as a source of nourishment for white children. In order for white women to keep their figures in tact and remain “pure” – she “also gave her children to “Black Mammies” to suckle and nurture, because according to the myth of sacred white womanhood, the white woman was above such “nasty” things as attending to the biological functions and needs of child rearing.” 18 Oftentimes the Black woman became the mother figure in the children’s lives. It was not unusual for her to discipline or scold a young white child in her care. This practice continues today as Black nannies saturate white America’s homes taking care of the day-to-day operations. Many West Indian women get their first dollars in the United States by taking care of young white children.

Blurred Vision

So in addition to receiving the ultimate protection from her white counterparts, the white woman was placed on a pedestal and even had normal biological functions performed for her. She was dressed in the finest clothes, sprayed with the most delightful fragrances and held up as a model of matriarchal supremacy. Her Black counterpart served her from the bottom of the pedestal. Relegated to a laboring s**t, every inch of the Black woman was used for toil without compensation. Her head to carry heavy loads, her breasts to feed white children, her hands to pick cotton, wash clothes and till soil, her legs as transport through this torture, and her privates to pacify and pleasure her persecutors in order to preserve her people.

The Black woman was so degraded, disrespected and despised that she was even reduced to a belly warmer for her mistresses and masters on cold nights. They would have to drape their warm bodies over the cold feet of whites to secure their comfort. One remarkable example of the way Black women were reduced is that of “…an old woman, who for seventy years faithfully served her master. She had become almost helpless from hard labor and disease. Her owners moved to Alabama, and the old black woman was left to be sold to anybody who would give twenty dollars for her.”19

What is even more pathological is the sick vermin that would actually purchase her for twenty dollars ­ in this climate, I’m sure that there was a transaction concerning the old lady. This thankless existence only served to further fog the spectacles of the Black male and dull his image of his woman. It has also had an effect on those on the outside looking in. Disrespect for the Black woman is not exclusive to the Black male. One way or another everyone has come to the conclusion that the Black woman ain’t s**t. Her sexual as well as her intellectual integrity was always in question. Like the old woman who was put on the auction block after seventy years of service, every Black woman faces the similar dilemma of depicted as being only good for sex and toil. It is as if her mind and midriff are one in the same.

A young Black professional woman I interviewed attended a conference where the speaker was trying to use the audience to make a point. His strategy was to find an individual who would provide the wrong answer to a question so that he can make his case. How did he believe he could guarantee this? By calling on a Black person. He believed that choosing a Black person, especially a Black woman, would guarantee an incorrect answer. He chose the wrong Sister and she answered so correctly and confidently that it blew his whole presentation. He was shocked by her sheer informative and confident delivery and was so certain of her incompetence that he had no plan B.

Another glaring example of this can be seen in an interaction I had with a twenty-two-year-old, white stripper from a well-known club in NYC. We shared a dressing room while waiting to tape segments of a popular television show. As many Black people have come to realize, it is difficult to sit in the same room with a white person and the O.J. Simpson case not come out of nowhere. Sometimes you hear news discussion programs and talk shows where the host has some sort of Tourette’s O.J. tick and it just comes out. It shows up in movies and TV shows to the point of nausea

CHAPTER 1

So if the highest of intellect find it hard to control themselves, then there was no wiggle room for the semi-literate tart to tighten her tongue. Not realizing I was Black she (after the most intellectually barbaric discussion I have ever had with a human being) concluded that she “expected nothing more from the Black jurors because it doesn’t get any dumber than Black women.” This high school drop out and fellatio aficionado still had the pride and self-respect to believe that she was better and smarter than her Black counterpart. Needless to say, I left it alone because this chick could not stimulate me with a lap dance let alone her intellect.

But her racial sensibilities are most certainly rooted in America’s legacy. With regards to slavery in ancient times Thomas Jefferson contrasted Roman slaves to Black slaves by concluding: “among the Romans, their slaves were often the rarest artist, they excelled too in science, in so much as to be usually employed as tutors to their master’s children; Epicteus, Terence, and Phaedus were slaves, but they were a race of whites. It is not their condition then, but nature, which has produced the distinction.”20 These are the words of the author who drafted America’s political direction. His words, ideas and deeds have been the blueprint for America’s social and political architecture. And as America continues to construct, its laborers, technicians and builders have unyieldingly followed his plans.

This is the engineered circ**stance of the Black race. It is an existence that has lowered them to the point where their right to be respected had been revoked. And this is the model that many Americans of all hues and hallucinations continue to follow.

Additionally, many white women rationalized their jealousy of the sexual relations between their men and Black women by blaming them for being “dark temptresses” that “seduce” white men. A notion that overlaps into the mind of the Black male. Consequently, a good deal of Black women spend much of their lives fighting to be accepted. They end up adoring those who really don’t care much for them while giving all of themselves to men who come with nothing more than a slight interest. Black women then become emotional Magellans in search of something that can’t be found, while the Black male and many others benefit from all that she has to give. She eventually becomes part of a half-ass relationship that caters only to the whims of her “man.” In the end, many Black women “tolerate poor treatment hoping that if they hold out long enough, the negative behavior will stop… Women feel unworthy of love and stay in abusive situations trying to make themselves more appealing.”21

As a result, the Black man finds it easy to stray because she will always be there. She is so taken for granted and unwanted that she hopelessly seeks the love and attention from those (including her own children) who are taught to despise her. She is easily exploited, but most importantly she will always be available. In one of my many interviews I came across a group of Black women who no longer date. To them the available men are slim to none, and rather than date out of the Black race, they decided that they would rather be alone. Emotional strength is another character the Black woman has had to develop, because no man of any race would put a clamp on his sexual needs because the woman he wants is unavailable. Some of these women believe that they can hold onto their sexual integrity by not dating outside of the race. They do not want to appear desperate by “settling.” This is the perfect example of Black women always being there. How many other Black women are out there shutting down their needs and desires hoping to revive them when things change?

Jim Crow

After slavery came a period of surviving the survival. Emancipated Blacks had to fend for themselves in order to exist. Congressman Adam Clayton Powell was re-elected several times without spending a dime on advertising – he simply spoke to the people’s needs loudly. This was during the 1950′s, a time in America called “Happy Days”; these days were as happy for Blacks as times were good for James Evans and his family. Growing up, Powell saw his comrades eating bread marinated in the juices of garbage. Black people used themselves as bathrooms and the streets as home, it was a time of the walking dead and a time that generated hustlers of all kinds. Blacks were experiencing a perpetual depression that begun 200 years before the Depression.

It was during the Depression that the Nation of Islam was said to have been founded, and the notion of the “white devil” was introduced. The N.O.I. believed that Black people were in hell and the return address was America and who ever controlled it was the devil. Referring to her grandmother’s house Harriet Jacobs lamented: “There might have been peace and contentment in that humble home if it had not been for the demon of slavery.”22 The slaves had also sung: “Ole Satan’s church is here below up to God’s free church I hope to go.” Congressman Powell said: “There was evil there in Washington on January 3, 1945 – the evil that comes when one preaches and fails to practice, when one proclaims and does not act, when the outside is clean and the inside is filled with filth.” 23

Brutality against Black people was not exclusive to the States. At this time, there were few independent Black nations, and the rest were all controlled by whites who had an identical hostility toward Blacks. The structure of South Africa was set up from a model of segregation that was studied in the American South. Even India was occupied by white England and as a result, “the white man’s the devil”sat quite comfortably with Blacks all over the world. When asked what he thought of Western Civilization Mahatma Ghandi replied: “It would be a good idea.”

Black leaders preached that their people helped to build this country and were treated worse than dogs. Randall Robinson found that in order “[t]o erect the building that would house the art that symbolized American Democracy, the United States government sent out a request for one hundred slaves… In exchange for the slaves’ labor the government agreed to pay their owners five dollars a month per slave.”24 Even after America became a superpower and was experiencing “happy days,” the Black people who helped build this nation for 400 years were still relegated to digesting sewage.

Black Survivors

Survival was brutal. Folks did whatever they could to exist, much like they had to during slavery and the periods of share cropping – independent slavery. The turn of the 20th century found Blacks in a desperate, despondent, and deplorable condition globally. And still, after fighting in two wars, they couldn’t buy dignity nor could they succeed in litigating for it. Similar fates for Blacks are mirrored around the world. In Mark Mathbane’s book, Kafir Boy, he recounts going to the town dumps to capture maggots that were used later as meals. He talks about waiting behind butcher shops so that his family could be given animal blood that was used to make soup. Families would line up for hours for this morbid magnanimity; but as usual, evil found a way to harden itself and later the merchants began to sell the blood instead of give it away.

Remarkably, after surviving the afflictions of apartheid, Mark married a white woman. The depth of this phenomenon is burnt deep into the psyche of Black men. After centuries of hate inflicted upon the Black race, it appears that some Blacks must prove to themselves that a white person could love them. Frantz Fanon in describing the feeling of the Black man’s peculiar inferiority complex says: “Out of the blackest part of my soul, across the zebra striping of my mind, surges this desire to be suddenly white. I wish to be acknowledged not as black but as white… who but a white woman can do this for me? By loving me she proves that I am worthy of white love. I am loved like a white man… I marry white culture, white beauty, white whiteness. When my restless hands caresses those white breasts, they grasp white civilization and dignity and make them mine.”25

Hustling

While global Black suffering continued from Namibia to Nashville, Black folks had to survive anyway they could. With no education and limited skills, along with the lack of protection or support from the state, and the inability to blend into the power structure, Blacks found themselves incapable of supporting themselves by traditional means. They had to work around a system designed for their demise. Desperate for work, Black women could be seen outside in the rain “from six o’clock in the morning till late at night, selling themselves to whoever comes by for ten cents an hour for a day’s work.”26 A good many were able to live off their wits, acquired skills and minimal education. Those who were educated and entrepreneurial were limited in their capacity to strive outside of the community – as evidenced in Rosewood and Black Wall Street. But for most Blacks it was survival of the slickest. Some exploited their own through gambling and prostitution, while others provided intelligence on their own community; these informants were known as “Uncle Toms” – a lucrative profession that can be considered a perfected science today.

Still, others had to hustle the only thing they had, and for Black women it was their bodies. Powell witnessed gambling “…on the steps of the church on Sunday evenings, and w***es stood across the street from it, semi-nude soliciting men as they left the church.”27 Hunger became the Black woman’s new pimp, further dulling her image in the spectacles of the Black male. Circ**stance forced some Sisters to sell themselves to any bidder for food, shelter, work, protection and money. In short, sex became her subsidy. Powell remembers one woman who was sent to prison for prostitution accompanied by her twelve-year-old daughter “because she had taught the child prostitution; this poor girl died two years later of syphilis.”28

Today the cycle is continued. Like the Uncle Toms – or “professional white behind kissers” as Dr. John Henrik Clarke refers to them – the practice of prostitution continues as a growth industry in the Black community. The declining school system and an engrossing mentality for the material, coupled with a decrease in programs that aid change, has created an epidemic of new entrepreneurs who sell their bodies at various levels. The “dancer” is now the first job experience that many young Black women obtain. This paradigm further allows the Black woman to become increasingly limited in desirability. Interest, respect and concern is halted at her loins. Throughout America many Black men are putting dollar bills in the draws of Black “dancers” and not a dime on the dinner table of those who mothered their children. Soiled again.

The history and circ**stance that has soiled the Black woman’s image has continued to direct the Black man’s mind away from that desperate sight toward that which he has longed to be recognized by. His goal is to be loved and accepted by those who he was designed to worship in order for his dignity to triumph. He sees himself as a historic failure – failing to provide for his family, protect his woman, and secure a livelihood. Additionally, he finds it difficult to connect with the Black woman outside of sensation because she serves as a symbol of his systemic failure. By giving birth to him in bondage she represented the synthesis for his circ**stance. The precious gift of life which was once cherished had now become a curse. Her womb was a graveyard as life became death. As a result he will chase the white woman to the ends of the earth and will stop only when he catches his mind.

@ bostonslvboy…i totally agree with u, black ppl like to make excuses and put the blame on their past…This is not about race, not about gender, ur hood or my hood…it’s about HUMAN race and the world we’re living in today, seems like everything is corrupted. Even the so called education at colleges aren’t the proper knowledge being fed to students, a degree can only earn u a job or career but will neer make u a wise person

For the most part, black women are single because they wanna be.. Now mind you, some do wanna be in a relationship and tend to set these astronomical standards for the “ideal black man”, which is similar to our president but, what they (black women) don’t realize is that, black women is the ultimate strength of the black man.. Women like Michelle Obama has set high standards because they are able to bring what they sing. People like Obama, Jordan, T. Marshall, Dr. King, etc are all products of black women.. Michelle was Barack’s mentor long before he thought about being president, how many of you (black women) are willing to go through that without degrading your man by calling him weak or at some point, feel insecure?!?!?!?!?!!? Sometimes, you have to at least try to make something out of what “may” seems like nothing… Oh yeah!!! We will not die off as a race because, time and life has proven that we (black people) are the dominant race…. Recognize mofo!!!!!

LMAO jojo I’m right beside you girl!

Black men will NOT commit PERIOD!!!
Now, I’m speaking from my experience. I’ve loved them and nurtured them as much as I could without losing myself but, commitment and exclusivity still never happened. Many spoke about having a kid with me because I’ll make a great mother…WTF??…how about we get married first fool and have this child in wedlock and work towards a loving family…

My latest adventure started when this white detective pursued me, when I had no interest for white me, AT ALL…but this man was affectionate, loving, passionate, just so many things that I ‘ve never experienced in my black relationships…we didn’t last because he got a lil too jealous; however, I’ve been dating white men exclusively since! That’s my story…I need commitment, I’m ready for a marriage and family and my current white dating partner has been pressing me for exclusivity and I’m gonna give him that. Would a black man have done that…NOPE!!

Ist of all..these are successful black women..so to start its gonna be hard for them anyways..because (some)black men rather have a woman doin nothing with herself..because it makes them feel more of a man..and some men are initimated by a successful woman..And the reason for these black woman not wanting some of the men out here…because a majority of them is lookin for nothing..lookin for flings..or not lookin for anything serious…or in jail or gay or have a lot of kids and drama so thereforth who wants the leftovers….and most black men are cheaters..and to be honest I dont see nothing wrong with a sista getting a white man..whats the difference our black men get white women…And to let you know me personally..the reason for me being successful is because a black man push me more to be independent and do me..

And for the record…I’ve been treated real f##$**d up by black women many times..Get turned down constantly but it will never deter me from wanting to love the black woman.The ones that dogged my azz out …hey their loss..I keep it movin’ but its not my place to be with or marry a white women yet alone any other race…Other race women are beautiful too,but nothing is more strong than two black people striving together and accomplishing all trials before them..
Besides what other race woman knows how to hook-up a “fried bolonie sammich”…lol

yall be good and lets get the LOVE back. love,peace and hairgrease yal;\l!!!!!!

southsidesfinest1 when you get a chance to read her book she explains why that is. It has to deal with what women associate at home that is what is the case. So the whole thug thing has to deal with that. Even as a Psychologist she even admits to having psychological issues with that problem and that those women who need to work on that problem it is something that they have to work on.

Ask Barbara: The 100 Most Asked Questions About Love, Sex, And Relationships

Dr Barbara De Angelis Why am I attracted to the wrong “bad boy” type of man, and feel no chemistry with the nice guys?

Fugg black women……

Speak: Its a shame that you didn’t find the right black man. I wont lie I enjoy the single life, I love my freedom. Truth is I hadn’t found the woman yet that I found wife worthy. that being said ask ANY woman I dated black or white etc. If I wasnt the best man they have dated. I believe in treating my woman like a royalty, not because I have to but because I want and I feel she deserves no less. I cant speak for all black men but maybe you and Jojo just cant tell a good one from a bad one. S**t happens…

Speak_EZ its a white man’s fantasy to have and impregnate a black woman..It’s like a tit for tat thing..They know white women long for us so they long for yall…I cant lie there are some fu%%%#d up brothas out there but is it enuff for you to turn ya back on all?But hey lady if a white man is what u wantdo you ma,but in the long run,you’ll jus be a white man’s trophy,not a black queen that you really are

Wow this thread is digressing into utter stupdidity!

I thought Obama and the Hope and change s**t was supposed to fix all this??

LOL crack dreams…

smack_u_silly negro why do you speak you ain’t married to a black woman you have no voice what so ever. so why you in the blackest of things for I will never understand. why you on black planet if you are a sellout black man. why do you come to video forums like this if you married to an asian woman you mad wack cuz.

Some Black women are single because they’re allergic to shiftless Black men. Hence, all he brings to the table are his genitals—-no car, no house, no job, no education and/or no good credit with a bunch of rug rats (kids) from different women.

@ bostonslvboy, for the very last time dude we are not the same genus but we are the same species as human beings, yes mankind are the same as human beings but weren’t the same genetically learn that, we are the strongest race , go back to your same European Theorist “Darwin’s Theory of Evolution – Natural Selection.” Which concludes that the strongest survives (Which race has endured the most hardship on the face of this planet, BLACKS. Furthermore Black people has the most variations compared to any other race. Another thing if we are so Inferior then why we as black men the most feared yet wanted by all ethnicity of women (nothing to be proud of just stating the facts). We don’t and we didn’t to rape women to infiltrate their race.

Also If we need to stop complaining then tell the whites too also stop complaining the ones who call themselves “JEWS”

And black women sometime wont commit either..the options be soo good..Why settle for one brother..U got one that got the bomb d###,the other has the cash,another is reliable,another makes you laugh…the list goes on and on..So fellas be ware when you hear a woman say “I’m jus dating” no commitment in her sights..trust me.

LOL DJ Swurvy, you can go bang all the white women that will have you! I don’t think anyone is sweating it.

Just so you know white men aren’t walking around thinking about WHITE WOMEN they are thinknig about ALL WOMEN unless you’r in bum f**ked KKK land the rest us all know its pink on the inside we ain’t trying to preserve some dumbass non-existant culture suffering from self esteem problems…

Go impregnate as many white women as you want just keep on making them sistas too (for guys like me ) LOL

nigga bostonslvboy if you think this thread is stupid you can always get your B***H ASS off the thread too always like WHITE People. Both White Men and Women to have their FAT ASS MOUTH in Black Folks business.

THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A GENERAL DISCUSSION, STOP MAKING IT AN AUTO-BIOGRAPHY
Some are tryna use this to get attention of others, by the way most ppl come on blackplanet to find flings to have fun with…that’s why ppl only care about pictures, if you’re lookign for love go to E-Harmony lol

Hey show2night

Your overwhelming need to proseletize the benefits of your race is fine by me, just keep the bastard factory pumping out the babies so there are more sistas for us lower races to bang when we want to…

Oh and by the way feel free to keep humping all the fat ugly white chicks, they are all yours :)

@ bostonslvboy, for the very last time dude we are not the same genus but we are the same species as human beings, yes mankind are the same as human beings but weren’t the same genetically learn that, we are the strongest race , go back to your same European Theorist “Darwin’s Theory of Evolution – Natural Selection.” Which concludes that the strongest survives (Which race has endured the most hardship on the face of this planet, BLACKS. Furthermore Black people has the most variations compared to any other race. Another thing if we are so Inferior then why we as black men the most feared yet wanted by all ethnicity of women (nothing to be proud of just stating the facts). We don’t and we didn’t need to rape women to infiltrate their race.

Yo Cancerian, dont pay him any mind. Bad enough we have the hatred being spewed here between our black brothers and sisters… we dont need him adding gasoline to the fire. Just do what the rest of us have been doing in this conversation and just ignore him. It takes away his credibility in any arguement because really we don’t care what he has to say… Thanks for the acknowledgment cancerian. I had a lot of black women that I dated when I was single and I am a good man. Tall, athletic, not bad to look at, has a job advanced degree, own car and vehicles… however I was looking for a woman that had a good heart. A woman who was not manipulative and vindictive. I felt there were a lot of bitter African American women out there. I was the guy that waited to date until after school. Coming from an African background thats how we were raised. I would go out on dates with some of these women (mind you first dates) and my goodness it was hilarious but yet disheartening. Either they were angry, manipulative, sad, too easy, wanting to go too fast, e.t.c. That is one thing I will not miss. The dating game between black women and men is just…. smh… will not go there, lol. Both sides have a lot to work on and the thing that is disheartening me about this conversation is not willing too look at the other side and say “I get what you are saying.” We are cutting each other down when we should be doing things to make it right.. for instance black men there are such words as monogamy, fidelity, Wisdom, respect…that would make things so much better.. black women we have words for you as well such as partnership, understanding, submission (not to be our doormat but to understand when you should let us be men.) I don’t think a man should direct your life the way he sees fit. Only a neanderthal would think that way. However appreciate your mans input even if you don’t agree with it. That’s just for starters. Just a thought….

HAHAHAH I have to admit this has been quite amusing…

Nothing funnier than such eloquent displays of black unity from the “Superior Race” hahahaha

Classic!

bostonslvboy first of all this is a black thing…BLACK PLANET…let me say it again BLACK,BLACK PLANET,second..I dont f***k around with white women my man..There are brothas that do but I dont…Nothing in common wit ‘em at all..I can get my s**t off with a white woman,thats about all. son.I’m not racist..I work with white and other races.Jus when you get to dealin one on one.I got no connection.But you all always try to do what we do..White men always have envied us.Our style,our culture,ideals and our d+##*ks.hope I cleared ya mind up my man..Hollah

Hey Show2night…

No raping needed LOL they come to us of their own accord and we have YOU to thank :)
Cheers mate!

cancerian, you’re full of shyt. YOU are a black woman. hell, everybody in forums KNOWS your dumb azz slipped this past summer and told d1mogul ‘you want to be like US…a black woman’.

bwahahahahahahahahahahaa…you’re beyond pathetic.

@ bostonslvboy, Oh know dude, I don’t have to try to induce someone to convert to my viewpoints, they mere facts. You are on here; and the last time i checked I didn’t sign you up for BP, NOT! So therefore as the point i made earlier we always wanted, you on this site because our ladies are stunningly beautiful and strong. Go bang your nasty fat obese women. Laughing.

Hey DJ

If you need to believe there is some envey, they by all means believe that. I have no racial issues, I don’t think brutha’s are stupid because of racial or genetic makeup.

I think you have your heads up your own asses due to cultural issues. Regardless of how it orginated you make your own future.

If you need to hate or propagandize to make your own future, then more power to you. I don’t think any race is superior or inferior to another and anyone who does is a complete moron.

I do enjoy breaking your balls and the those of your fellow racial nutcases but that is purely for amusement value.

CANCERIAN 1976 YOU ARE SO ON POINT AND SPITTING MUCH KNOWLEDGE. THIS IS MY POINT EXACTLY THE PROBLEMS THAT WE HAVE ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN THE SURFACE ISSUES THAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE TALKED ABOUT ITS MUCH DEEPER. AS WE BEGAN TO GET TO THE REAL ISSUES AND I HAVE READ A FEW OTHER POST BY BROTHERS WHO WERE ON POINT AS WELL,NOTICE HOW THE DEVIL REARS HIS UGLY HEAD (BECAUSE HE IS GUILTY) TO TRY TO DISTRACT US. AND TO THE WHITE BOY WHO IS TALKING S**T ABOUT BROTHERS BACK DA F**K UP. WE MAY HAVE PROBLEMS AMONGST EACH OTHER BUT I BE DAMNED IF I LET YOU INSULT US GET YA ASS GONE TO WHITE PLANET!!!

@bostonslvboy, black folks are always on the defensive, and we seem to only know how to approach any challenge in a discussion one way: with agression.

Being white. . .you knew you were in for it, even if a lot of what you’ve said made sense. . .and there in lies the problem, your comments do make sense.

They are stunningly beautiful Show, I totally agree with you. Thats why whe have you out to stud to keep making them for us :)

Don’t worry we’ll throw you a bone or two.

Now back to work creating more babies that you will never raise.

@ bostonslvboy, get some sunscreen while you at it, oh I forgot you want to obtain a tan to look like us, darn shame.

white men are jealous of black men? uhhh, nope.

let me say this…white loser men are jealous of black SUCCESSFUL men. i’ll buy that. a redneck who screws his sister is likely jealous of ANY man of ANY COLOR that can get tail from a non relative.

but at each level of the socio-economic level, white men (as a whole, not talking individuals) are VERY MUCH IN LOVE with themselves.

time to stop the delusional bullshyt, folks.

ane why even worry about who white folks are jealous of? thats COMPARING yourself to them. kinda like how chevy compares themselves to honda and how burger king compares themselves to mcdonalds.

notice, those who are confident don’t COMPARE themselves to others.

Hey Night,
You are correct and yes I did know and yes I’m purposesfully breaking balls.

Fact is I like black women, always have always will, just my thing… I don’t care about all the racial propaganda one way or another, but you do have to admit that watching this thread is pretty indicative of the true issue.

For the record your European scientist were the one’s who deem black folks as inferior and sub-humans. Check your knowledge base @ bostonslvboy, Moron.

I got you sosa on that one I know you saying about this cat. I think what when it comes to black folks we as a race have these types of thoughts how things should be. The main thing with that is that blacks have to be patient not every black person is going to work well with every other black person but all black people work together perfectly. It is just you know finding the right black person and being patience that is what our problems are. We get into crime, etc based on not being patient.

It is a survival thing it is like you know nobody is caring about the other person as a black person i don’t have to care about black women finding someone as long as I find someone. It doesn’t work that way for us we have to care about every single black person finding the right black person. So then when things don’t work out we have that hatred towards each other which a lot of people take advantage of that and use that. Plus blacks start name calling etc instead of assessing what is going on with the black race understanding the psychology behind why these things are instead of looking at the problem.

Blacks are hurting and then when someone hurts they hurt someone else so you got Black Women hurting, Black Men hurting wanting things to work out and then we start hurting each other. Instead of seeing that we really are going to through the same struggle and that if Blacks would work to assess these problems it would be gotten ride of every Black person could be Happy with the Right Black Person. Then everything would fall into place a Good Black Family, Good Black Community etc these things Fall a part when we don’t see the Little Things that are causing these things to happen.

Well… I guess we wont be getting an answer from JoJo about why she and her white ex she praised so much as to why they aren’t together now. I’m guessing he gave her the boot when he found a more attractive sister, maybe one a little more goal oriented and who doesn’t sit on her ass and expect a man to take care of her needs. Wake up sweetie, its 2010. You were a stepping stone, he upgraded… I wonder if he had such high praises for you….

Hey Show, I don’t know any European scientists, do you know any from Zimbabwe? They would be your scientists right?

its really sad -because its the black-man who is still looking like a f**king loser-everyday there is something showing that we are lacking-i agree that it is harder for a black-man than a black-woman-the woman in this story are so successful that its going to be hard to find a black man that meets her standards.is it her fault not at all- but its 2010-i know they may want a black man-to marry but there is somebody for everybody no matter the race-i just really tired of the black man being shown in such a negative light-if it aint one thing its the other-i agree woman stop raising sorry black men -but if there is no father around whos fault is it- the black man! Subjects like this makes me sick because i know black men -who are the opposite of what this story tells us-they have families and are strong-and they do the right thing-I stand for the black man who is being called a loser in this story- not to defend-but to explain them-the females in this story wi8ll never find a man in my eyes cuz they want what they cannot have- but so do i- i want them cuz they doin they thing- not what they got-these females are looking for niggas who got money bottom line-they wanna be “stable”- nobody believes in real love no more so whats the point-so they go for the older man- when they could be investing time and energy into a young man in college for ex. who is on his way to becoming what they really want in a blackman-young ,attractive,energetic, and ambitious, and successful!!!

single and looking ladies holla at a brother (this one in particular..ha!) that wants to bring that 42 down a lil’ bit!

CANCERIAN 1976…What a tremendous piece of education! That should shut the wanna be up….I paid him not attention because I don’t believe he has a right to speak about it.

Wow, wow wow!

So what to do now? shyt? I’m gonna read that again!

bostonluv, you’re hilarious. you like black women? you OBJECTIFY black women? wow.

its one thing to say ‘color doesnt matter’, but i gotta question someone who PREFERS A SPECIFIC COLOR of man/woman, and didnt grow up around them. did you grow up around all black folks in your formative years?

if not, then you’re objectifying black women. you’re not married, are you? so, you’ll SCREW a black woman, but you wont marry one. LOL.

hey, do your thing. fact is, the better black women don’t fall for that bullshyt any more than the better white women would (and if you didnt grow up around black folks, lets face it, its because white women don’t want you). so, you’re stuck with YOUR LEVEL of black woman…and that’s ‘piss poor level’ at best.

good luck in your search for your equal. shouldn’t be hard. LOL.

oh, yeah..this thread is ‘indicative’ of delusional azzed black women trying to justify why 42% of black women don’t have a man. and facts are facts: THOSE black women are:

1) either worthless;
2) not ready for a relationship.

NO DIFFERENT than other races of women and men, and no different from black men.

catgirlTX Oh yeah it is deeper that is why you have had so many Black Therapist who counsel Black Families, Black Psychologist and Psychriatrist who try to work with the Black Family and understand what is going on. If you see whites they make sure to go to Therapy as a Family so they work on their issues Blacks don’t look at their issues and problems as a whole they just run from their issues. This is why Blacks think that other Races are perfect and feel like they have the need to look elsewhere when everything they need if they create a strong foundation everything will work out perfectly. So when you don’t work on problems they just get worse. So little problems big to even greater problems. So these Black Women who talk about this issue this is a real small issue at some point in time and it won’t have grown had Blacks Both Black Men and Women sat down and talked honestly and figured out what the problem is and what needs to be done.

Blacks are an emotional race of people the problem with emotional people they can do different things that can be harmful to them at a moments notice. If they don’t think logically.

Very true. I am not trash talking and calling each other names and stating what this and this person is doing. That is dealing in absolutism. There is no gain in that. Half the problem is absolutism. Thinking that your way is the right way and to hell with everyone else instead of looking at all sides and working out an amicable solution. Im not going to sit here and say in all honesty that a black man has to be with a black woman. I don’t think God sees color so why should we? However, if your heart is set on a black woman or a black man and there are acknowledged issues then the next progressive step is to work on it. Right? Not give up. I don’t know. I guess we all see things differently….

Hey Samuel,
the only way for the black man not to be shown in that light is if he doesn’t walk or basque in the negative light that is shining on him.

How come you never see immigrants for India ever shown in a negative light? Many of them have skin color twice as dark as African Americans, you know why? Because they don’t “collectively” behave like a bunch of wacko’s.

They don’t have that reputation and they were enslaved by the British for centuries…

Black men are thier own worst enemy…

@bostonslvboyA. ZIMBABWEAN scientist, Arthur Mandisodza did the country proud after he was awarded an international travel award for presenting the best papers on Haematology at a ceremony held recently in the United State. U not ready for BP get your dumb ass off. Education is a dangerous weapon, smiling.

Hey Smack, as I’ve stated in the thread several times, I’m purposefully breaking balls, I don’t objectify anyone, I’m just making the occasional assanine statement to f**k with people like you.

42% of black women are unmarried because they think they are supposed to get with black men but deep down inside they don’t really want to…
Thats the reason.

If they wanted to marry you THEY WOULD.

Hey Show,
I’m thrilled to hear that, awesome!!!!

As I don’t see superiority or inferiority of one race over another I see his great work as a victory for all mankind!

You need to get off the crack dude

From India (East Indians) weren’t enslaved dummy they volunteered you moron learn you history before you open you mouth @bostonslvboy

A lot of you are beginning to sound very bitter in your stereotypical description. I’ve had custody of my son since he was 2mos and he is now 16… I also have custody of my son’s best friend since he was 14 and, he is now 17 and his mother and I never so much as hugged.. Neither of the mothers aren’t supportive at all but, I will not stoop so low as to degrade black women because of them.. Have any of you ever considered the fact that maybe, you’re looking for the wrong type of person???!?!?!?!!?.. And let’s be even more real, this is not some fugging race issue, nor is it some outlet to bash black men and women… Grow the FUGGGG up!!!!!

smack_u_silly

white men are jealous of black men? uhhh, nope.
let me say this…white loser men are jealous of black SUCCESSFUL men. i’ll buy that. a redneck who screws his sister is likely jealous of ANY man of ANY COLOR that can get tail from a non relative.

Just like the Asian Woman you are Married to is clearly jealous of the Black Woman and that goes for other Races of Women subconsciencely desiring everything that Black Women have.

How many other Races of Women want to have Black Man Envy

Want to have the same Connection the Black Woman has with another Black Woman Envy

Tries to act like Black Women trust me I have seen Wigger White Chicks, Wanna Be Black Latino, Asian, Native American, East Indian Chicks.

Trying to be the Black Mother

And Black Wife

So is the White Man and other Races of Men are jealous of the Black Man

How many other Races of Men want to have Black Woman Envy

Trying to act like the Black Man

bostonluvs, okay…you’re PURPOSELY saying diccish things.

bahahahahahahahahaahahahahaa.

now, let’s move beyond MY misunderstanding.

whatever the case, as i said before, 42% of black women, 44% of black men, mid 20 percentiles of white men/women don’t get married ever for the following reasons:

women: ugly, fat, slobbish, on public aid (cant be married and get TANF/welfare for the most part), moronic, crazy, OR…not ready.

men: short, broke, short AND broke, no POSSIBILITY of ever getting a job, shyt attitude, crazy…OR, not ready.

black women never marrying aint because of ‘black men’…if that were the case, they’d simply marry white, asian, non black hispanics, native americans, etc.

these are facts folks can’t avoid, no matter how much they claim ‘this race is perfect’ and ‘this gender ain’t’

LOL yeah they volunteered to live under the British Raj and the East India company in Calcutta for 200 years huh? Yeah sure they did….

And regardless why aren’t they viewed with the same disdain as YOU? Their women have no problem marrying them…

Dude you don’t have to prove to me how superior you are… YOU’RE the one that black women don’t want to marry… I have no issues getting Black women LOL

I just want to say that I’ve read a bunch of crap on here. The problem is not with one or the other it’s the lack of God in peoples lives, because no matter how much complain or try to fix the other God is always the final authority. Only when we put God first can we find out what true love is. First ladies you need to stop looking for a man and allow a good man to find you.In the Bible it states whoso finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord(proverbs18:22). Brother’s lets stop making excuses like My dad wasn’t there cause it’s the biggest load of crap.My mom pretty much raised me by herself and I think my wife would say I’m a good man. As men we need to do what the Bible says and love are wives like God loves the church. Now as a whole we need to stop with this fairytale we tend to want, it’s never going to happen. There will be problems in every relationship nobody is perfect. Everyone is going to make mistakes, but the most important thing is that we learn from them. Now let’s talk about the money issues it shouldn’t matter who makes the most money. I hope that’s not what we get married for cause like beauty money isn’t for ever. If we love each other the money should be shared not my money, your money but our money. Ladies please stop looking for this man that makes 200,000 per year and you make 45,000 yearly and think he is going to allow you to call the shoots. How about you find a man that makes close to what you make and encourage him to rise. Also brothers stop looking for a woman that’s going to allow you to walk all over her. Get a grown woman not some little girl that doesn’t know who she is.

Speak EZ in order for us as Race to have what we want you have to do it through Children it is important to work through with them to create that generation of Blacks that are all position.

That book was written by a Psychologist like I was saying before the more knowledge Blacks get on dating, family, business, the black community etc the more empowered they will become.

Hey Smack,

I agree with some of what you say regarding men and women in general, but regarding Black women? I honestly believe the most black women believe they can do better.

Further more I don’t believe that most black men do anything (by action, not blog posts) to prove otherwise.

sorry…

Everybody must have missed the actual broad casting! FEW PICKINGS is the problem. The black women represented on the news did NOT have any “baggage” as swagger2bagher commented. I hate stereotypes, but unfortunately they exist in every culture. Men have 2 to 3 children these days the same as the women. THIS IS ALL ABOUT HOW YOU WERE RAISED IN THE HOUSEHOLD YOU GREW UP IN. NO VALUES. It’s too acceptable these days to have and CREATE (men) multiple children out of wedlock. Hell yeah, there is a shortage of black men that fall under the no kids, a decent job, and morals CHARACTERISTICS. Start looking at the households that this vicious cycle start in and there will be better “bread” African Americans PERIOD! Our future is f**ked!

Bostonlvboy, what are doing miseducating my ‘bruthas’?

LOL Folarin, you rock!

@swaggalicious30

Though I highly commend what you did for your husband there lies a problem. All men are not as receptive as yours was. I have done what you did PLENTY OF TIMES!!! I displayed as much patience and shared as much knowledge as I could but if a man does not want to change he will not change. You CANNOT MOLD A MAN WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE MOLDED. That is another problem with women in general, not just black women, you cant change people. They have to want to change and my guess is that your husband at that time was ready to change. A lot of men will flat out tell you that they don’t want to change their lifestyle even if they work at taco bell. It’s not as simple as it seems, you are the exception not the rule.

Hey Cho
Unfortunately for the Black Superiority crew. I think your ending statement is correct!

show2night LOL tell bostonlvboy that is rich let this cat know.

‘Black Planet is for Blacks’. OMG, the dangers of ethnocentricism. We need to stop these kids from creeping out of under the rock. We need to make sure that they continue to find bliss in ignorance. Pass the dutchie.

on the left hand side…

cancerian, your pain and self hatred entertains me. you come on pretending to be a black man, when YOU ADMITTED TO BEING A WOMAN (slipped, but admission none-the-less).

more of your silliness:

“Just like the Asian Woman you are Married to is clearly jealous of the Black Woman and that goes for other Races of Women subconsciencely desiring everything that Black Women have. ”

1) prove it, coon;

2) what do ‘black women have’ that my asian wife wants? lets see, my wife has a bachelor’s degree, something 50% of asian women have and only 19% of black women have;

hmmmm, is it being overweight? then she’s also jealous of hispanic and white women, cuz 78% of black women, 83% of hispanic women and 50% of white women are overweight, compared to only 8% of asian women.

public aid? 38% of public aid recipients are black, 31% are white, 25% are hispanic, so i guess my wife, again, is jealous of what black/white/hispanic women have, cuz asians on public aid are in the single digits.

LOL…come now, behave, coon.

“How many other Races of Women want to have Black Man Envy
Want to have the same Connection the Black Woman has with another Black Woman Envy
Tries to act like Black Women trust me I have seen Wigger White Chicks, Wanna Be Black Latino, Asian, Native American, East Indian Chicks. ”

actually, i what is ‘acting black’? does that mean inner city, ignorant, uneducated, single mother on public aid? wow, didnt’ know any black folks like that growing up. but if THATS your definition, no, my wife doesnt act like that at all. she masters the english language, and when her parents came to canada, they NEVER used canada’s version of ‘welfare’.

try again, dimwit.

“Trying to be the Black Mother ” . no different from being a ‘white or asian’ mother in a TWO PARENT HOME of MARRIED PEOPLE.

“And Black Wife “. no different than being an asian wife or white wife.

“So is the White Man and other Races of Men are jealous of the Black Man ”

if you can read, shyt for brains, i said ‘in general NO’. i also said a ‘poor piece of cracker trash is jealous of a rich black man’. the poor are, as a whole, jealous of the rich. i bet the most racist piece of cracker trash in the kkk would sell his soul to be puff daddy or jay z. and sell out his klan group in the process.

“How many other Races of Men want to have Black Woman Envy”

well, given that only 3% of white men marry OUTSIDE THE RACE, and only 0.6% marry black women, i’d say precious few white men are ‘jealous’. try again.

“Trying to act like the Black Man”

what is ‘trying to act like a ‘black man’ ? is it the stereotypical thug, or rapper, or ball player? damn, you have a low opinion of black folks, don’t you?

I think the article failed to add to the slim pickings! You’ve got incarceration, homosexuality, death, drugs, hustlers, players, pimps, and ones who have sworn off black women all together. This makes things a helluva lot more difficult for a Black woman like myself to get married to a Black man. Considering the fact that I am not attracted to any other race than my own at this time. This does not rule interracial relationships out in the future but for now, I’m sorry, but I have to have a Black man by my side. I love them even after experiencing much pain from them, my own choices have given me great pain as well so I cannot place the entire blame on them. I see no reason in giving up on them now.

Wow Smack,
I’ve found myself agreeing with a lot of what you just posted…

Am I betraying my whiteness?? hahaha

Ahh CPA please, if some handsome nice white dude or Asian or whatever picked up the rap on you and you liked him, you would have no trouble rationalizing the racial issue belive me.

Stop these divisive posts. These posts are meant to stir up negativity and dissention amoung our people. It’s enough already!

And little bastards who come to school with no pens, no notebooks, no respect for anyone and anything. But enough stupidity to demand to be respected.

Absent fathers, single mothers, (both sides are at fault) Cancerian you will date a white woman who can’t cook so hush. Just make sure you are there for you kids. I am lucky to say i had both parents in the household so I was able to see what black love is. Apparently we all don’t have the same experiences so I can understand the black man’s view because I have very few male friends who had that as well. A white chick will do anything, that’s their culture, never had to be cautious or limited (think about it) but they are human too and go through the same bull so it ain’t about race. Again I say, don’t date women like me, continue to have babies from strippers, section 8 chicks, Burger King working at the age of 35 type women. I have posted 4 comments so i am done, shout out to all the OPRAH MEN out there. Confused in the inside and out, is that why you all are more apt to be on the DL? (NEW TOPIC) HOLLA

Honestly, I dont think that we as black people are done. Sometimes when you are in the swamp it is hard to see a mile ahead. Every culture that has been what we have been through as a people struggled. Shoot it took America almost 200 years to get it right.. Most black populaces have been out of black rule or oppression or rule for about 40 years… the civil rights era was barely 50 years ago… so as a contemporary culture we are still in the beginning stages such as any other cultures in defining who we are… believe it or not… its been slow but steady.. the amount of black men and women attending school has risen over the last 20 years… we just need to get out of our own way and do what we need to do and not trip over the mistakes we are making. Never doubt or give up or think we are done because once you manifest negativity in too words… then its not the fact that you think its over… more the fact you want it to be over.. just a thought…..

boston, you said:

”Hey Smack,
I agree with some of what you say regarding men and women in general, but regarding Black women? I honestly believe the most black women believe they can do better.
Further more I don’t believe that most black men do anything (by action, not blog posts) to prove otherwise.
sorry…”

you dont have to be sorry…the facts prove me right and you wrong, that’s all.

most black women SAY they believe they can do better, but a welfare mother with three baby daddies for her 4 kids CANT DO BETTER.

78% of black women are fat, and 50% are obese. FOR SURE, the obese can’t do better.

these are facts. black men (and any race of men) that can get any woman they want dont go for fat women, obese women, poor women, women with multiple out of wedlock kids from multiple men, etc. why should they?

same as with short and broke men…they cant do better. good black wmen, and good women of ANY race can get better men, and do.

thus, the sc** of black and white men and women CAN ONLY DO sc** on their level.

succs for them.

Ummm blkluv, this thread isn’t about the black unity, its about why Black women don’t marry bruthas…

@bostonslvbpy
I can agree halfway with you, if they’re fine then yeah I’ll talk to them and I have but after the initial date or so it’s not the same. I’ve found that we have nothing in common. I’m not saying all but the ones I have come across it happens everytime. We’ll hit it off the first date and then we run out of things to talk about, lol. As far as Asians…..ummmmmm…..I dont know…lol. I’m 5’11 and I have yet to meet an Asian that’s at least eye level…lmao. Plus, Asians don’t ever talk to me anyway.

Hey Smack,

I will aquiesce to you statistics as I don’t have hard facts to dispute you, nor am I inclined to do so, I will say however that I was under the impression that we’re talking about educated, or at a minimum responsible black women, those with careers, aspirations, don’t have 5 bastards, etc.

If you’re including the rif-raff (of any of the races) that would skew the findings.

Boston: No, its about why a high percentage of lack women are single… Personally, any woman I date wouldn’t give you a 2nd look dude.

Hey CPA, I was in no way trying to be disrespectful but I doubt that an educated woman such as you has all the much in common with the average brutha (other than a shade of melanin ).

Of course my statement could only be valid with the assumption there was some physcial attraction followed by some admirable personality trait.

Theirs plenty good Black men out there. Us as Black women are lookin in the wrong places… better yet that’s the PROBLEM, you’re lookin. Years and years i’ve been on the hunt to search for a good Black man. I stopped there. Instead i started prayin day and night for a good man to approach me and let everything else fall in its place. I have to say it made me changed. I had start findin myself first then settle with a good man. Although some Black women complain, sayin that theres not good Black men out there. What if you actually did find that man. But you wouldnt be able to realize a good Black man if he stood right their in your face because either 1. you’re so bussy checkin out what he’s wearing, drivin, house he’s livin in, etc instead of lookin at his mind frame. 2. you’re so focused on his past and you’re not givin in your own because you wanna play ms. goody goody. Most i remind you that’s not the way to go. Who knows, he could have been through situations that you’re facing now. 3. listenin to your girlfriends. ladies have your own mind frame. them same women you so call your friends aren’t your friends and if the guy ends up your friend, its not because he’s a dog(in some cases) but because now he has this idea of you bein weak so he’s goin to go on to something better. 4. Know what you want. 5. Stop runnin behind guys(major turn off) be strong, independent. Not bitter and mean. 6. Don’t let you’re past relationships(men) be the answer to the new. Give them a chance and no its not goin to be easy 7. Be you. 8. Put God first and let the rest fall into place. 9. Stay Black, Stay beautiful. 10. Blessings to you all

Hey Milk,

Its about why a high percentage of BLACK WOMEN are single and the correlation to counterparts of other races.

Unless your dating militant types (and I’ve even banged a few of them) I think they’d give more than a look

Thanks Boston. See how my ‘peeps’ take a simple question and make it so complicated? aAll in the name of showing a non-existent knowledge. Tsk!

CPAHunny, you said:

“I think the article failed to add to the slim pickings! You’ve got incarceration, homosexuality, death, drugs, hustlers, players, pimps, and ones who have sworn off black women all together.”

slim pickings go both ways, cpa. again, when you take out the only the OBESE black women (50%) (since folks will say ‘thick’ is included in ‘fat’), and then those without a degree (81%), those in jail (something like 7-8% and rising as black women in prison are the fastest growing prison population), those with some sort of STD (black women have the fastest growing rate of STDs, to include HIV/AIDS), those marrying interracially (4.5%) then there aint NO MORE ‘good black women’ than there are ‘good black men’.

factrs are facts…i’ve YET to see a fit, fine, childless before marriage, educated/skilled, sane black woman complain about a ‘shortage’ of good black men; i’ve YET to see a tall and/or affluent black man complain about a shortage of black women. BOTH primarily get THE BEST of black mates, and when not, they get THE BEST of other races.

“This makes things a helluva lot more difficult for a Black woman like myself to get married to a Black man.”

no it doesnt.

” Considering the fact that I am not attracted to any other race than my own at this time. ”

if its allegedly ‘so hard’ to get a ‘good black man’, and yet you’re not ‘attracted to any other race’, then , sad to say, you’re not being realistic or honest with yourself.

“This does not rule interracial relationships out in the future but for now, I’m sorry, but I have to have a Black man by my side.”

you dont HAVE TO HAVE a black man; you simply CLAIM you prefer one.

“I love them even after experiencing much pain from them”

white women PRIMARILY experience ‘pain’ from white men. happens when you date only one race of people, primarily, huh?

Amen, Bar-Be, eventhough I am not up the ‘prayer alley’

We wont quote statistics Boston. I consider them mostly bias anyways, who exactly is doing the stats? Im not sure I can trust the source. Like I said before its more women than men. Its all good with me if you like sisters, I don’t mind the competition actually. But the faults of some aren’t the faults of all of us. I think this topic is blown out of proportion to begin with. We can never say anything about interracial mix because its too many of us blacks that are something more than African.

Bar Be,
There are good men of all races, blacks among them. Just how many lame ass bruthas you gonna go through to find a good one?

I think thats the crux of the issue.

Yea smack got a point. I never had a prob finding any women… haha

*sighs* lol

I found a great article written by Diane Sears that asks women a lot of soul searching questions about what you would do when you actually receive a good man. It helps you to identify whether you are truly ready or not and if you really love yourself enough to love a good man back with the appreciation that he deserves. Google it when you get the time ladies.

To The Sisters–Are YOU Ready for Mr. Right?

MOVING FORWARD WITH DIANE SEARS

GETTING READY FOR MR. RIGHT/MR. GOOD MAN

By Diane Sears

Hey Milk, I think it’s becoming clear that we’re becoming a global race, as communication and travel make the world smaller there will be NO single ethnicity (potentially even in our lifetime) for the US, Europe, South America, most of Africa… (China might take some time)

Lame azz? Did you just call them lame azz? Wait until you see what they are packing. Add that to the problem. For a considerable number of black women its about the ‘kickstand’

As for the old fella… Nice suit. I like nice suits myself unfortunately I find them most uncomfortable and dont need a suit to feed my ego. The minute I’m not working I change into sports gear. But on the other hand I would gladly debate you in any intellectual conversation.

Wow…okay first of all I think there is a mistake in the reason. And a miscalculation in the number of black men. First, there is no 1 reason. There are too many different reasons why to even pin down. Second, out of that number of black men take another 1/3 to account for homosexuals (I don’t knock it, just not my thing). Then there are more and more interracial marriages today then there was back in the day. If you really add all of this up then there are very few black men to even begin with. Now in my experience of dating I have noticed some differences in black women and other women. Differences, not saying 1 is better then the other, but just different. And depending on your GOALS 1 may suit you better then the other. But we are talking about MY experiences now. I have dated successful women, (not according to Forbes but successful according to themselves) and what I have noticed was a sense of self righteous pride (not talking about all successful women, but 1 of my experience) when it came to certain things. i.e. “If I am doing this, this, and that, then he should be doing this, this, and that” which is not necessarily true. Take for instance If the successful woman is a higher up level regional manager of a retail chain. But meets a successful man who is a manager of the janitorial department of a retail chain. Now technically he’s a janitor (which there is nothing wrong with this profession) in charge of a crew. Now he makes a respectful salary with great benefits and mind you he is employed. May or may not have a degree. But, and here is the key point IMO, he’s content in life and really enjoys what he does. So now we have 2 successful people together so where is the issue? Well what I’ve noticed is this, the issue is when it comes time to be out with other successful friends, and colleagues, and coworkers and family, the “So what does your friend do Tammy?” brings out the insecurities in the “what will they think of me” department. Now I didn’t add the fact that they enjoy each other and this man does not have any “baby mama drama”, “thug mentality”, or any of the so called bad qualities that society seems to love to attach to every black man stereotypes. So what’s really the problem? Well it comes down to, “what will I look like dating him” lol. Now take the same guy a while later dating a white woman on the same level as the black woman, not attitude wise but measured by success, (which is so subjective), and even higher, and the white woman concerns were different. Again not better, but different. The white woman was more concerned with, (amongst other things), “does he help me”, “can I depend on him”, “is he responsible”, “do he add to my happiness”, “AM I HAPPY WITH HIM?” and would sometimes defy anyone in her circle that does not accept him. Now again this has been an experience of mine. Not saying this is the reason why these 42% of black women that are single, are single. I’ve just shared what I have noticed in 1 of my experiences. And although I fictionalized the story, the scenario was basically the exact same. Now I’m not saying lower your standards (whatever the heck that may mean) just realize and really understand what makes you happy. And I think if you really understand and know that then you can see and realize that you can have a man on another level then you, that’s another color then you that can truly add to your happiness. Just my 2cents, if its even worth that much lol.

as I’m reading through many posts, the things I find funny:

1) When women have standards its called “picky” but when guys have standards its normal.

2) If you are a “good guy” does that automatically men you are a good mate?

3) I see it everyday on these blogs, men stating that these celebrity men should have chosen a chick that can hold her “weight” as much as he can. How they should choose a woman who has money and that “status”. Now when a regular successful woman has that standard—its a problem…

The world we live in huh lol

eyron not every single Black Man has to want to date outside their Race

smack knows I don’t that is why he hates my guts to the core because by accident I think he got mad because I said something against interracial dating.

In order for a black person date outside their race they have to feel comfortable with another race I don’t feel right with another race. Second I would feel incomplete their is no racial connection when it comes to other races so I don’t have that want or desire. Second I have a good perception and know what my race is worth.

I have always known what the Black Race is worth so I don’t have a need to find something outside of my race. Actually because of me running off my mouth I got a chance to know a good sista from being on this site someone who care about deeply.

Trust me their are a lot of Black Men like Black Women who love Black Love and Unity and wouldn’t trade it to be with another Race.

Hey Folarin hahaha I hear that a lot but I can say I’m defintitely NOT packing a kick stand LOL and I still seem to get em :)

Don’t get hung up on any of my phrases, I’m just talking a lot of s**t in between the real points :)

@smack_u_silly

We’re not even talking about Black women in that respect. It’s about the slim pickings of black men, so what is your point besides the fact that you feel like practicing your WPM speed? I wasn’t talking about that in the least bit so your comment is kinda floating around in some form of purgatory. Have a nice day!

About what? Suits? I think I’ll pass.

boston, you said:

“I will aquiesce to you statistics as I don’t have hard facts to dispute you, nor am I inclined to do so, I will say however that I was under the impression that we’re talking about educated, or at a minimum responsible black women, those with careers, aspirations, don’t have 5 bastards, etc.
If you’re including the rif-raff (of any of the races) that would skew the findings.”

even dealing with ‘professional/educated’, etc, black women, no REAL difference, either way, for finding a ‘good black man’ or ‘good black woman’.

for every black man that’s been in jail/in jail now, (24% of black men) there are TWO OBESE black women (50% of black women) and THREE fat black women (78%). we aint gotta like it, but facts are facts: black men are like most men: if they can choose between a fat/obese woman and a woman that is fit, they’ll most likely choose the fit lady.

about 19% or so of black women have degrees (bachelors degree or higher) versus 17.5% of black men. slight edge goes to black women. negated by the fact that according to the dept of labor, black men earn about $5,000/year more than black women.

in short, black men and women that ARE DESIREABLE to the opposite sex simply dont complain about a ‘shortage’ in the opposite sex. they dont have to…they’ve got their pick.

same as with other races.

the lowest level of any race and gender complain because, FOR THEM, there IS a shortage of ‘good opposite sex’…as well there SHOULD be.

HAHAHAHA CPA classic response…

I told you a woman like you doesn’t have anything in common with the rif-raff… LOL
You rock!

cpa, you said:

“We’re not even talking about Black women in that respect. ”

really? i thought ‘we’ were, but if ‘they’ aren’t, ‘I’ am.

“It’s about the slim pickings of black men, ”

no ‘slimmer’ than that of black women.

“so what is your point besides the fact that you feel like practicing your WPM speed?”

what’s your point besides asking rhetorical questions?

” I wasn’t talking about that in the least bit so your comment is kinda floating around in some form of purgatory.”

you seem to think one either agrees with your silliness and delusions, or they are in ‘some form of purgatory’. LOL. that may work with the 50 i.q. folks YOU KNOW in real life, but that simply doesnt work with in the bigger world.

you say silly shyt in an open forum, guess what? you’ll be negated.

” Have a nice day!”

you too.

boston, if you think her response was ‘classic’, then good for you. its classic ‘i cant respond to smack’s brilliance, so i’ll play the ‘na na na i can’t hear you’ game’.

bwaahahahahaa

Denial, denial. ‘My bad’

I agree with that end point there smack. I am not up to date on the stats but that makes perfect sense. I never had a problem meeting good black women. I was just searching for the right one for me. Which I found :0)

If I may Comment, After viewing the subject at hand, I notice neither one of those women talk about their personal faith toward God, A matter of Fact neither one of these woman stated anything about if they were trusting God to sent them the right mate for them each. So that is problem number one, to me. To me that is relying on your own self instead of relying on God to find you an mate. so It does not matter what you have and the type of success you my accomplished. —
Luke 12:15
And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

That applies to women as well as men, seeing women are create from us men. Also this Topic can be very touchy for those who are not matured enough to handle these type of topic with out being to personal.

So let just Pray for those woman. And Be Blessed of God.
sincerely,
Lem

cancerian, i don’t think you’re a lesbian, so i dont think you want white women. or black women.

again, you ADMITTED, thru a slip, that you’re a black WOMAN.

anyone in the forums can vouch for that. from here on out, you’re on ‘nigganore’.

LOL

Hey Smack, I have to disagree.

The difference is the aspirations of the Black women in question. Those that are professional, education, family values, etc. Have a bar or a standard that wish to reach and or exceed, as with most people they are upwardly mobile.

If they can’t find a a black male that at least out of the gate can meet that standard they are rarely going to get to the stage of learning the true man.

ipso facto therefore they don’t willing pursue a course of marriage with a sub-standard scenario, or one that is at a minimum equally yoked.

(hope I was able to properly articluate my point)

I am so astonished at the amount of time you have found in your lame, but my busy 24 hour day to respond to every last line posted by every last member of this here wonderful website…rofl!!! You deserve an award…I’ll bow out now. It’s too much for me to handle…my work day drained me. I’ll let everyone else respond to you now. I hope that strokes what little is left of your ego after marrying an Asian. :)

tony, you said:

“There are too many different reasons why to even pin down. Second, out of that number of black men take another 1/3 to account for homosexuals (I don’t knock it, just not my thing). ”

where do you get the ’1/3 of black men are homosexuals’?

research has the homosexual rate between 2-5% for men, slightly higher for women. no evidence that any race of men are more/less likely to be gay.

and remember, for every gay black man there’s a gay black woman.

CPA, find yourself a nice Italian guy!

Its been fun people,have to make plans for my bday though. You dont turn 36 everyday. I’m spending a hundred for every year. What can I say I still have a lil part of me that likes being not married. Do what you want when you want and no one to complain. Life is good. Y’all take care.

What’s ‘God’ got to do with it?

Cheers Milk,
All the best

cpa, you’re responding to me, so you’re taking JUST as much time. that bullshyt ‘ad hominen attack’ shyt simply doesnt work with me…particularly when YOU DO THE SAME SHYT you claim i do.

LOL…behave.

now, you’re pissy because you’re a fat azz that cant get/keep the kind of man you want. i’m sure a few azzkissers will ‘come to your defense’, but in the end, whatever cyber pub you get won’t give you a REAL relationship.

you claim there aren’t that many black men to choose from…fine. get someone outside your race.

if not, then you’re CAUSING YOUR OWN INABILITY TO GET A MAN.

now we BOTH KNOW that white men dont marry black women in anything resembling significant percentages. and we both know that hispanic (non black) and asian men are even less likely.

now, you can ‘bow out’ or not…but your tired, derivative bullshyt is just that.

have a nice day.

MrMilk26. Copping out? don’t wanna discuss my suit and your sports gear?

Not having God has a lot to do with it. what kind of shyt is that?

Happy Birthday to you, Milk.

Some men r dogs some women are stick up thats just how it is… anit one person gonna change the way the world is. Personally I love a intelligent woman. and if she can cook thats cools too. Ive dated women with kids some with serious problems…I tried to be there for those and they pushed me away saying that i talk to much or sum bulls**t.. but there ARE some good women out there havent seen none in a good men but I know.Me im not saint nor perfect young man im just 22 with a lot to learn. Most women down here going threw a “imma diva” stage. “i need a thug in ma life stage” so im just single and i put it in gods hands. Ill find that woman one day. I gotta lot of stuff to do with myself before then. Strong Blk men and women keep ya heads up real talk. this tread anit nothing but another plot..

Very interesting. I find that alot of women meet plenty of men. Alot of men have commitment issues. I don’t if it’s because they have so many to choose from. It’s almost taboo for a black man to want to get married at this point. Well at least to black women. I think some woman have have high standards, like he has to be a certain shade of brown, a certain height, etc. Those are things i think you can certainly compromise on. The men i run into are already taken as in dating or married, or they’re divorced and have no need to want to marry again. The issue is certainly on both sides, male and female. Wish i knew what the answer was.

boston, you said:

“Hey Smack, I have to disagree.
The difference is the aspirations of the Black women in question. Those that are professional, education, family values, etc. Have a bar or a standard that wish to reach and or exceed, as with most people they are upwardly mobile.”

but you JUST got through saying that we’re talking about educated/career minded folks. that’s why i said ‘even in THAT area, there are no more ‘good black women’ than ‘good black men’.

no proof of it.

“If they can’t find a a black male that at least out of the gate can meet that standard they are rarely going to get to the stage of learning the true man.”

again, black men make more money than black women…$5000/year, according to the dept of labor. 19.5% of black women and 17% of black men have b.s./b.a degrees or higher.

so what is the problem? even in the ‘educated/’successful’ group, black women are simply fat/obese. black men, who STILL PRIMARILY MARRY BLACK WOMEN (90% in fact) simply go for ‘better’ black women.

‘better’ in THIS case of educated/skilled people, is ‘slimmer’ and ‘fit’ women.

“ipso facto therefore they don’t willing pursue a course of marriage with a sub-standard scenario, or one that is at a minimum equally yoked.”

again, didn’t you say we’re dealing with ‘educated/successful’ folks?

“(hope I was able to properly articluate my point)”

i thought you did. still do.

God prefers interracial marriages :)

Smack I’m confused on whether or not we’re even saying anything different?

Another plot? I agree, at 22 you have a lot to learn and a long way to go. Keep your brain clean, go to school, get pens, pencils, notebooks. Be on time wherever you nee to be. Above all, show some respect to those who teach you. Get rid of the sloppy casualness. Life’s business is not casual. And stop thinking about ‘that woman’ already. Too early.

LOL…boston, that ain’t right. hell, i’m in an IR, but i SERIOUSLY think God just prefers folks to be happy and not bytch and moan.

For those who don’t know, God is our provider. If you pray to God in finding you a good man/woman then he shall deliver. Over time but first you must look at thy self and learn more about yourself. That maybe the case to some of ya’ll problems of finding anyone. One most focus on the inside before anything of good to reveal….. And i’ma leave it at that.

Alright all, its been real, but gotta run, to all the fine black women out there not hung up on race, color or creed, I’ll chat with you anytime and discuss the finer things in life, to all my Black Militants friends, sorry folks but you’re gonna have to find a new line of work, perhaps band up with KKK pool your IQ’s and come together as a single group of morons…

Folarin, it’s been a pleasure.

Smack its been riveting.

Night all

And to answer what folarin’s saying GOD has a lot to do with EVERYTHING in your life.

lol…boston, i don’t think so (except for agreeing with the fat azz known as ‘cpa eats too much honey’).

all i’m saying is amongst the ‘better’ black folks, men and women, there is no ‘advantage’ / ‘disadvantage’ for those seeking an opposite mate.

short and broke brothers simply CAN NOT reasonably expect to get a fit, fine, childless before marriage, educated/skilled sister. they’re stuck with the fat, obese, stupid, multiple baby daddy having sc**..chicks on THEIR level.

fat and orobese and or welfare sisters simply CAN NOT reasonably expect a tall, handsome, educated, affluent, no kids having brother. they’re stuck with the multipl baby mama, out of work, jail bird, no education sc**…dudes on THEIR level.

water seeks it’s own level. i’ve YET to hear successful brothers complain about a ‘shortage’ of black women; i’ve YET to hear fine/sane sisters complain about a ‘shortage’ of black men.

they have all the black and ‘non black’ people they want.

Dearest Bar-Be!

Thank you! I copied your statement just so I can print it up and carry it in my pocket to show women when they give me that mess. It’s one thing for me a man to say it but it means so much more when it comes from another lady. I also find that sistas are notorious for bad mouthing their brothas. Who wants to sit around listening to that? We Brothas and Sistas need to lift each other up over anyone else because NO ONE else will do it for us but us. Seriously, thank you again.

Sincerely,
Your Fam.

the hell with that age crap 2..im 21, and it seems that even you older people still have some things to learn to HELL A LOT to learn. I FIND MYSELF GIVING OLDER PPL ADVICE ALL THE TIME lol smh. Matter of fact i give thanks to you OLDER DUMB ASSES for being stupid and making the mistakes u do. Makes me smarter, im not negative or a hater..but i am a REALIST ; )

What im saying man is this tread is an plot to turn us against each other…

Ah, all of 21. Something must be terribly wrong when you have to give advice to older people. How old are these older people? 23? 24? 26? the wisdom of youth. Now go to bed! Thanks Sexyjayboi. By the way, that post was not for you ‘neva1betta’

According to moi, there is NO shortage of men! While black men are beautiful, they aren’t the only men out there…there are men all around the world in all shades and nationalities…Black women, feast on the endless possibilities…it’s Thanksgiving! I’m enjoying the fruits today with my beautiful husband and life partner!

As for Ra_Azasn, dont thank me for bein real. it’s just me, i cant thank you for something that i am..lol. but i do thank you for appreciating my realness. And you on the other hand is so true, stay that way….. Much love to you baby!

i know it wasnt for me SILLY..but i was put’n it out there just like you with the random BS : ) *big smile*..don’t get it twisted, young but very wise ; ) we exist to haha

Ah, ‘misslyricist’, such wisdom as yours. Where were you all this time? We needed you.

Im pretty sure the sample size they took was wack, with no background as to where and when the poll was taken. Also the poll isnt taking into consideration the women who are not as affluent as the ones in the tv interview, they are not representative of the majority of black women in many ways. Including those that are gay, bi, dont want a man, focusing on their career, in school, to many babies to warrant having a man, dont have time for a man. Im not even being cynical, thats just real. On top of that if u really think about it, is 42 percent really that bad? When did 42 percent (not counting the women not available, probably like 35-32) sound like tragic proportions. Thats not even half people, there are more black women who have been married to men(black or not) then have not been. With all of the problems in our society and in our own community 58 percent of black women have been married one time, thats great. News for you HB and bp, stop letting the white media play u like a fiddle. Well maybe hb im talking to the wrong one u probably are white. But all of you on here feeding into this bogus poll to let out your deepseated anger at each other because on a personal level u cant get the man or woman u want. I got news for u, b***hing on here wont change that.

You just proved my point, neva1betta. Stay ‘wise’.

You know I think it’s interesting that the article is it doesn’t speak on the professional baby Mamma (professional woman with children). In all my years of dating all races the one thing that has set me off about dating sistas has been that many I know have children or expectations that are a bit extreme for most men to handle. I make a good chunk of money but have been fighting to get here for years, on my own. I don’t have the things my white counterparts have but that’s not to say I wont. A man of another race may have more money right now to buy that purse for you but I’d like to be able to buy that for you one day. Another thing for me, I’ve been told by four or five black women and some white women actually, I’m too white or I’m not black enough. Owning a black art gallery, speaking on race relations, defending brothas and sistas in bad situations means nothing because I grew up in Utah with well spoken parents that wanted the same of me. Yes, there aren’t enough eligible candidtates due to incarceration, impregnation, and education statistics, but even those that defy all of these statistics have a hard time. I’m not a six pack having brotha, I’m admittedly a little overweight but I excercise and eat healthy and am losing weight, I’m not a bad sight on the eyes by any means but I’m not Tyrone, Taye, or Denzel. I treat a woman like a lady, make you steak, shrimp, and scallops with any side dish you desire but I’m horible at spades and domino’s. A female will bypass me for an undereducated and child having other (not necessarily a brotha) because I’m not a perfect black professional. Date who accepts you. I grew up in Utah and dated white women 3 to 1. Not because that was my preference but that was where the interest was coming from. If those sistas could only see me and my paycheck now. I think all in all, if they’re complaining these women may have to look at themselves too. I’d love to have an attractive sista in my life. You don’t have to be a 10 but be worthy, because I’ve spent many years trying to do the same. It’s not the white womans fault they’ll look at who we are and what we bring before they assume. I refuse to say that professional men can’t be dogs. I roll with several of them but the women automatically are attracted to them, not me, for aforementioned reasons. Maybe some women need to re-visit their screening requirements. My thoughts. Ay, any sistas in San Diego want to come over for a steak dinner this weekend?

:-}HA!!

males will continue to screw over females until they start obtaining standards….whether you like it or not females control the outcome…..cause at the end of the day you have what a man desires 24/7 “P.U.S.S.Y” ……”every man does what he does to please a female, broke, rich, rappers are included”…and if its that easy….why not…???…its up to the ladies at the end of the day…..you control the outcome of your situation nobody else….”step ya requirments up…females…who lack them”

I in a situation where, in a way i want to be single and in way i don’t. The reason for this is because i don’t like to argue on petty stuff. I in a relationship now but i getting tired of the attitude every time i look around. I’m not doing nothing n i trust that he isn’t doing anything cause all we do is work and come home. The moral of this story is that a lot of black women are still single cause they don’t want to put up with the drama. Life is to short and a lot of women have kids to raaise such as i. I know everyday ain’t gonna be a sunny day, but i’m really trying to make this work. If it meant to be then so be it, but if it’s not and God says ‘let him go” i will. Thanks for letting me express myself.

You know something, I’ve been in the military for at least 8yrs and i have never imagined that I was gonna get married. I thought I was gonna serve my country and die doing it, cause I didn’t believe in having a wife or kids, I just wanted to be alone, and die alone. The reason why I say that is because I am a very sheltered person, and I like to keep to myself. But now things are different I found a woman who could actually reach me like no other woman has. God had a plan for me that I didn’t even know about. In some ways I am greatful cause I know that I have to take care of my wife, but on the other hand I gotta hear her mouth when things don’t go the way she wanted to. Life has a way of suprising the hell out of you. Better her than some crazy ass, tongue lashing B!TCH, who will give me more problems at home than I have at work,

okay slow down people, especially marcuslove79, and listen to the facts again, if white media is playing any one its you, because instead of looking to your self to make the change you have pointed the the finger at black women, along with many other black men pointing the finger . and that’s why we just don’t care anymore whether or not you want to marry us because that White, Asian, Hispanic,or/and Indian man would love to have a women of our character, drive, and success and treat us like the queens that we are. I think that most men of all races are intimidated by a strong, educated, successful, beautiful black woman and you’ll should just get over it, because we are still the most loving, sensitive and caring…and when we found a good man we do every thing we can to keep them.well i have said my peace, p.s. white women also have a higher divorce rate, ting!

I bet not one of you reading or posting was a part of the 42%. I will place another bet that neither even know of someone that was! The game is this. Numbers like 42% are arbitrarily made up…and if enough people download that “mind program” into their brain computer then…Guess what…It is…Funny how the mind control game has been upgraded. Don’t believe what they feed. The truth is generally the opposite of what is propagandized or somewhere far away from what is thrown out there for you to input. Peace…Be Excellent and Travel LIGHT.

lol its as simple as this, if the women in the video want a mate so bad then go get him, times have changed no longer does a man have to ask a woman out, good men are around you just have to find them, if you really want it as bad as you say you do go after it, don’t sit there and hope and wish, know what you want in a man set the target and go get it

thats cause they like ni66as for what they wear , n drive , how much money he makes ! all the woman now days just do is look good !! nobody wants a woman who can just get dress and look beautiful 24-7 and dream bgbc shoes !!!!!!!

another thing…why are women single today???? THey don’t have standards, give it up to quick. UR NOT A CHALLANGE in other words.
These days, nobody really date anymore. ppl jus F**K. THey F**K before a connection is made. If the woman gives it up that f**kin quick, more than likely that nigga won’t be there that damn long….or he won’t be consistant wit her or his mind won’t be on her constantly. cause he got what he wanted quickly. She wasn’t a challange. I got a stepbrother who told me this…
“these days u ain gotta be her boyfriend to get sum p***y or get to know her first… yall can jus be friends and yall gone f**k…so right now, if i can get dat easy, i’m not gonna get no woman and when i do, i’ll let it be known”
See, Not everything is the mans fault. Some stuff goes back to the woman. Not all are the same but more than half…if i had to guess

The media can speak for theirselves Im single and happy 99% of the time lamoooooooooo so im single because life is good without unnecessary drama I rock my own world lamoooooooooooooo

yeah okay soveu34 untill ya dildo run out of batteries , i dony buy what ya selling miss try again !!!!!

lol

Ok first of all, don’t get sucked in by the hype. Statistics are the prostitutes of anyone who wants to use them to prove a point: most often in a way to convince you of something that may not necessarily be true.

Ask yourselves, 42% of what age group, does this 42% rep all black women in every age group or a specific age group, i.e.,18-35year olds or 35-50 yr olds. Does this 42% include the homosexuals, disabled, nuns and other chosen celibate paths, etc? Or perhaps they’re looking at every black female in the entire diaspora, or only one community. As you can see, the more you think about it, the more reason you have to doubt the accuracy of the 42% especially if it includes only the black females in a specific community or the entire diaspora, or those from newborn to the oldest black woman alive. After all 42% of 100 black women is only 42 women; get my drift?

Please get a handle on analytical thinking and make these trash rags they call news items get on their shtick and give up factual information; including the appropriate use of statistics in order to be more accurate with their information.

i could answer this the proper way . they are single because sister arent the only one wit ass now !!! white girls got ass , spanish girls got ass !! , wait brace yaself asian girls got ass now !!! sister are falling down the charts and at fast rate !!!!!!!!

I think that “black” people need to get together and stop this women empowerment crap and give the power back to the men. women have hell of a lot of power just being women alone. people need to stop dancing around these subjects and just collide with them. fact of the matter is, how in all of the ever color changing sh.it are powerful, successful “black” women going to be able to respect “black” men? the man is weak, punkish, petty, foolish, ignorant and mostly raised by women. (not all men) but a great majority. it has been obvious for many years that the american governmental system has fixed the “black” man to never be able to take care of “black” women. you know why they did it? because THEY want the “black” woman. and lots of you think this is cool because you think being a racist is a dispicable thing. well… we will see how you feel when your a “black” man in the near future trying to search out a beautiful “black” woman for a wife but all you see are “black” women with white men. we will see just how hard the smack in your face will be when you finally become captivated by the most beautiful “black” woman you have ever seen in your life and she tells you that she only dates white men. truth is, the “black women does’nt need “black men.the white man is paying her rent, giving her all of the career oppourtunities, feeding her, and her children, and protecting her from YOU. and you know what, it’s the “black” mans fault. the “black” man does not deserve his “black” woman. so god is giving her to someone else. hurts does’nt it? the white man is taking your woman, face it. and the longer the “black” men remain divided, the more the white man will capitalize on our women. and “black” women will not wait forever. let me ask you this. if i was a married man, and another man houses my family, feeds, protects, and pays the bills, do you not think that this man deserves to bed my booty? the solution to this problem is for “black”men to come together and build the nation we are suppose to be. this will in turn place the power in the proper hands and the women will fall in line. independence is the key. if another nation continues to take care of another nation, the care giving nation will be taking the women away from the men. no man wants to take care of another man. but real men want and desire to take care of women. they want to turn the men into savages and homosexuals and turn the women into their most special prized option. it’s called spoils of war. one of the perks of defeating a nation of men. your not a racist ay? well the rest of the world is. north korea is building a nuclear bomb because they are smart. they want to keep the white mans dick out of their women. bloodline is more important than you consider.

Nasoni
Im not selling anything but the truth about me and no one else and I dont use dildos because sex aint evey fu cken thing that why some people’s relationship fail. Their mind is always on di ck and puzzie learn something from some of the old schoolers they knew how to communicate and love they had the whole package.

Now everything is about fu ck fu ck….

I’m not sure why NaSoNI is making such a big ruckus about why black Black women are single when it clearly says he is single on his page. If most Black men were like him then that percentage would be a lot higher lmao.

Maybe many of these women want to be single. Are we comparing Black women to women of other races? Maybe the percentage is lower among women of different races because they marry too much or get into relationships that aren’t based on anything. Whose standards are being set on these women? Their own standards or the standards of others? At the end of the day many of these women also feel that a lot of men are below their standards. What type of man whines all day about a woman’s standards being too high? If you don’t fit her standards then keep it moving. If it turns out you cross woman after woman and you don’t meet any of their standards then you probably need to step your own game up.

a “man” doesn’t need anyone to give him power. some tired men need for a woman to make them feel like a man…a man who carries himself as a man has NO problems in this area.

did anyone see the movie Daddy’s Little Girls??? when Gabrielle Union’s character was dating trying to meet someone she liked she had the 42 yr old who wanted to be a rapper, then there was the guy who she THOUGHT was perfect but turned out to be married?? this is real!! for a lot of single black women this is what it’s like.

some black women absolutely REFUSE to date men who are not black. and unfortunately a lot of these women will die alone. the good news is more and more black women realize that there are a lot of men of other races who LOVE and appreciate black women. not saying don’t date black men, just saying keeping and open mind.

Well, up until a few years ago I was happily single but I am looking now for something serious so I date. And I can tell you I’m still single because I can’t find a man who respects a relationship. I am not going to be your ryde or die chick after the first date, and yes, that means I’m not sleeping with you or buying you anything, or taking out a loan for your ass either. I’ve been asked all these things and more by the guys I’ve dated without really knowing what I should know about them. People just don’t know how to take it slow these days, and its a shame because I have so much love to give to that right brother, but men feel like they don’t need to deal with one woman… and they really don’t because we’re outnumbered severely by competition from other races, other men…so I’ma continue to be happily single and try to be patient until God sends me my man.

Thank you Anubis_noir and if I only have to choose from men like NaSoNi, I will stay single. I dont think its to much to ask that you find a man with goals and ambition, somebody who wants to get off the street corner, making just above minimum wage or is tired of just getting a piece of A**. NaSoNi, you might want to read what Jus-2_chill had to say, because he had some powerful words, that is if you can understand it. Its not abut the how big her rear end is, and actually, am glad these other ethnicities are coming up with bigger rear ends, it keep the ignorant men on their backside all the time and not just mine. Black women are having to step it up, because like Steve said, there is no longer the black man that is ready and willing to take care of his woman AND his children. So of course we have to make better money because if your locked up, or a high school drop out who is not making the money to take care of your seed and me, then who will do it, if not me? But of course your not going to see it that way and you will show your ignorance by saying some other nonsense, or of course blaming me, the black woman, for you not doing what you, as a black man should do.

but then again so don’t all women now n days

Alot of women have mental issues along with major personal insecurities and immaturity. I said alot of women ! i didnt say all women ! but thats a fact point blank.

i got 2 say it, men are soo bad??.. who are they being bad with??.. we all with the same WOMAN??? let’s flip the statistics on the other side.. naahh the truth would hurt and the root of the problem might be similiar 2 the reason why women were stoned and not men.. men act like the type of MAN the WOMEN wants.. the BAD BOY. u want a MAN that iz a executive.. like U, well maybe HE wants a executive 2. im alll 4 these sisters talkin 2 the white MEN, the reason the statistic is UP, is becuz the white MEN, are now more OPEN 2 have relations with the black woman.. AND they(sistas) act(think) more like white women.

brothers spain, italy, france, portugal is a few hundred miles from the uk germany.. ALL are WHITE.. Latin americans are WHITE, BLACK, and INDIANS..(asians 2 a lesser degree)

united states and canada are the last people 2 blend in 2 one, we are witnessing NORTH AMERICA blending in2 1..

4 some reason latin america blended better, it might be becuz they are years ahead us, a hundred years from now.. this will be history.. we will be like latin america, egypt, somalians, MIXED..

im convinced..all WILL be one.. TRUST.. if u in a segregated neighborhood, the wave will hit u last..

it wuz written.. we are just goin through the motions, emotions..

beyond race.. CULTURE..our way of life. philosophy, beliefs, ACTIONS is above flesh.. (the spirit iz beyond the flesh)..

happy new year ALL

see what im talking about “black” men? read what nini-lv wrote. if “black” men were taking care of his business, and doing that “black” women right, “black” women would have no interest in even exploring such options. she even put the word man in quotations as if with no respect. this unfourtunately the improper mind set of most “black”women today. that is why the “black” man is loosing her to other races of men. and don’t say that you’ll just get you a white woman because i promise you, after a few years of waking up to that colorless woman, your going to crave your “black” woman. do’nt keep being foolish.

did i touch a nerve anubis!! i been a committed relationship for 9 years partna , i just leave it single on my page cause most woman wont pay attention to ya music if ya in a relationship , looks and swag sell in profession partna . second i aint making a big deal bout nothing just adding my two cent to the topic , third most woman dont care if ya married or single they gonna try anyways so being said where ya broad at ?????

Well I don’t know where all these black women are because, I am a black man with plenty of money home owner, college educated, and his own cars. For some reason I can’t find a good woman, yall all chasing the same dudes for some reason.Black women are all attracted to the same kind of dudes. So maybe black women need to open there eyes and try something new cause whats been working just ain’t gone get it.

(singing destinydepartedchilds) all the women independent throw your hands up at meeeeh all the women with the money all the women independent.

Single because life isnt always about drama
single because life is good
single because I can always mingle without giving the azz up
single because I don’t give a f uck about these half azz made up stastitics made as always to reflect blacks in a negative way.

The main reason black women in general, not just successful ones, are single is because they generally don’t really know what they need. They know what they want and can’t seperate that from things that they actually need to be happy. There seems to be some confusion in there between wants and needs. They’ll sacrifice needs for wants that they care deeply about but won’t sacrifice certain wants for needs. Women talk worse about a man who is trying than a man who isn’t. Somewhere along the line, a man being sweet and loving became a bad thing. Many women seem to crave being with someone that will at least give the hint of some kind of drama. Then they sit around and read so called “romance novels” and think life should imitate art in that the relationship should follow a certain romantic formula or time frame and the man should fit a certain mold. I’ve had women who I gave my all to who didn’t believe I loved them or wanted to be with them because I didn’t answer certain questions in certain ways. Most single women have male friends or other men that were interested in them that they passed over because they have this certain idea of how their man should be which is not always the case of how men actually are. They always say that they just don’t see him like that but the man who will cheat on them or do them wrong, they seem to have an instant attraction to them. The pool is already not as deep as they would like as far as the men they can possibly choose from but then they limit their choices. This conversation was based on black women finding black men. The men they pass over could be great men and they could know that they are and they only acknowldge that when they find someone outside they’re race. Many women search for an idealized perfection which they maybe deserve but are very unlikely to find. A “good man” seems too much like just “settling”to them….
Sorry I can’t finish my thought right now but I’ve stated the basis of what I feel about the subject and would like to elaborate further in detail but I gotta go.

Hate these arguments…

However, I’m an educated brother. Went through college, I’m 22 yrs old. I’ve dated one black girl. Reason? I’m not a thug or a gangster, so I’ve been told on many occasions by black women, that I was not black enough. And it seems like alot of black women try to be the thug miss and not take any s**t from no one. I’m not in the streets selling crack, I don’t need that, therefore I can’t find any black women to date. The few that I have found, as the brother a few posts down said, only date white men. Now I know that the people reading this post are gonna be like oh this is not me, and fire back. Thing you have to understand is that for everyone like you….there are probably another 100 like those I described above. I know a young black woman, who was born with money, lived in a great house in a great neighborhood, and has her parents paying her way through college…with a brand new SUV. However, she believes she is so hood, wants to get into fights to prove herself, and all sorta stupid stuff. Why? Why would an educated black man put himself through the most basic media portrayed stereotype just to date a black woman? Especially when there is probably an equally beautiful hispanic or white woman there that will give him the same affection and not act that way? Makes no sense….

Also, why do all the pictures on stuff like this show the beautiful black women? Are those exact girls really single? Cuz if so, I’d like contact info please! Show the average black woman you see out in Wal Mart or in the mall!

trinispice ya not even my type , nor do i get approached by woman of style , go eat glass!!! , im 25 years old n let me say i had my fun i lived , this topic is y woman are single , not y woman wanna be single !!! so as like i said everything is my opinion on what i feel is the reason y !!!

REASON WHY ITS LIKE THAT CUZZ MOST BLACK WOMEN HAVE FUUCKED UP ATTITUDES OR THEY ARE GOLD DIGGERS……..THEN THEY WONDER WHY MEN TREAT THEM THEY WAY THEY DO……BUT I STILL LOVE MY SISTER’S…….I JUST HATE HOW SOME OF THEM ARE SO SIMPLE MINDED…….NOT ALL …..SOME

lol @ Nasoni

” i just leave it single on my page cause most woman wont pay attention to ya music if ya in a relationship”

Most women won’t pay attention to your music when its that whack. Don’t quit your day job…if you have a real one…

I’m in a relationship dog. I’m not the one complaining about single Black women all while having a single status on my page…YOU ARE lol

I am a successful Black man with a woman and have never had a problem finding a woman. If you are a Black man and think you are so successful and don’t know why women aren’t attracted to you then maybe the problem lies with you and NOT the women.

I seriously doubt you have been in a committed relationship for 9 years with any woman. That is so unbelievable. You mean to tell me you been with a woman for 9 years and haven’t been man enough to marry?

42% of Black women are single because they have to deal with men like nasoni…aspirations of making it big in the music industry…mind goes blank when he sees any type of ass walk by…the type of guy that will date you for 9 years and counting and not marry lolol

Like one woman said, if all she had to choose from were men like you then she would stay single. The diss is on you son. No need to ask where my girl is at because you don’t meet the standards partna. You didn’t hit a nerve but I am pretty sure I did.

Whinning people are so funny. They want men but dont wanna make the necessary adjustments needed to have a meaningful relationship. When one of the ladies ask the other why she didnt ask the guy for his number she shook her head like doing so was beneath her. At the end of the day 75% of the stuff these women trip over will be irrelevant in the grand scheme of being happy. And isnt that the point of having a significant other?

What confuses me is how so many black women can say ” I can’t find a good man”. However you have more than one child. So a man is not good enough to be your boyfriend, however you can have unprotected sex. What women are not being taught is that a man who has something going for himself will not wife used goods. Too many black women are already s**tted out before they get out of high school. They think they can do the same things in life as a man , and they are mad cause they are finding out the hard way that the game was not set up that way.

I wonder what the percentage is of Black men on here complaining about women that actually have a woman. It has to be much higher than 42%.

Y’all are making a good case for women wanting to stay single. Complaining and whining won’t get you a woman.

My take on this, standards are influenced by the media (videos, celebrity, etc.). There are a lot of women that have high standards with nothing to offer. I am not saying you should settle for less, the women in the video are willing to compromise, why wouldn’t the average woman?

@Stealthbomber1

Although I agree Im not checking for ladies with babies in all fairness they didnt become pregnant by their lonesome. And most dudes I know over 25 pretty much expect a female to have atleast one kid. Sad but true. The numbers dont lie. Women of are race just out number as if all this women have all these degrees you would think they understand simple math. So either look for love(Im talking meaningful love not just I have somebody just for the sake of somebody) anyway and anywhere you can get it.

I want to ask …WHY IS IT YOUR BUSINESS? WHY ARE YOU STILL STICKING YOUR NOSE IN THEIR BUSINESS, complaining and whining ain’t get ya a woman. woman that success or have a house really don’t mean they have to be married. They have the same rights as an unemployed woman, if they wanna be single not married then it is their choice! Don’t force your love on them unless they ready to make a move. I am a very beautiful black woman that have no kids and so many things happen good to me , a lot men ask me why I not marry I say it is my choice because I am waiting for a good man that only serve God. But I mostly get note from thug or man with kids that planning have me as “back up plan” . Just because they look at my profile that I am clean with no kid and am young? They betta go back and read that I only wanna a man that serve God and is christian! You need to quit complain that woman is single, just because you want her. Start respect that she want something else , don’t expect to change her mind.

Well, speaking for myself as of to why I’m still single is because I refuse to just get in a relationship with any dude that ask me to. Now since I’m older I just can’t instantly get in a relationship with a man and just be cool with it. Plus it woundn’t be a successful relationship either! What I want is to take my time and work towards a possible relationship with a man. I want to get a good sense of who he is and what he’s about before I make the next step. In reality some men don’t understand that. Everything seems to be a rush process and I don’t like that! I will say that I do have standards for myself and as everyone should. BUT mine isn’t so high to where I shoot every guy down. All I ask is for you to be working, in school, or both! Also most importantly be a productive man. There’s a few other key points I look for in a man but I don’t want to get into that(they are not extreme key points neither). I don’t care of the race the man is nor his past. Just as long as he COME CORRECT when he’s dealing with me!!!!

**One thing I’m starting to get tired of hearing is that women(doesn’t matter if she’s black, white, yellow, or pink) want a “gangsta” or a “thug” like man. BULLS**T! No, I don’t!!! Also I’ve talked to plenty other females and they don’t want the thug or gangsta dude either!!! Speaking for myself as a woman. I’ve dated the thugs and the gangsta’s before…. And you know what? Those types of men simply wasn’t for me! So, I been there done that and moved on. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a vendetta out against gangsta’s or thugs. But like I mention before those types of a men isn’t for me. Plain and simple! One of my guy friends asked me “why do women want a bad guy and what not and not the good guy that treat a woman right?” I couldn’t honestly answer the question because I don’t seek for the “bad guy”, I want the good one. So, to end my comment…. Everyone isn’t meant for everybody. Also ALL women don’t want a “thug”, maybe some do. But definitely not all….. Men if you a encounter a woman that does just keep moving forward and the right female will come along. Ladies Mr.Right will come along too.

–MsTT87

GodPrincess81
God told me to tell you to use the letter a and also use ing when you write. And how are you so much of a Christian and don’t know that the word is capitalized?

People of all colors and both genders need to understand priorities. If you make material things your priority you will have a tough time finding success in relationships. Because the people you are attracted to have a greater need for material things just like you have a greater need for those same material things. Most of the so called “Successful Black Women” have it in their heads they need “Successful Black Men” and they messure success in dollar amount. My idea of success is the amount of enjoyment you get out of life. There is no need(IMO) to be a millonaire if ever day is full of life shorting stress and a disconnect from my love ones.

@ GodPrincezz81…. I feel you on some of the things that you was saying.

Women want a man that can compliment her needs and her wants. Men want the same thing from a woman as well!!!!

@ All Females

If you are happy focusing on any and everything other than a man and you rather die alone before compromising there is nothing wrong with that. But dont complain when you are single. Successful relationships are built on two peoples ability to compromise. So if you are unwilling to look pass some things odds are you are unfit for a relationship. And this goes for fellas too.

hmmm, if a black women choose to be single thats on her. but they use that line niggas aint sh*t, when there only going after thugs, and with someone has something going on in his life, they most off the time blow him off, till they have a kid but some random man. Really i didnt wanna give up on my sisters but right now its like a losing battle. here’s a story im in kuwait right now working very few people out in town speak english. im in a mall 2 black women are walking behide me. one of them yells hey. I turn back and said whats up she looked act me like i was trying to holla at her and turn her nose up. first i was like wtf. then i wanted her to do a 360 in that mall. not only arab or women from this part of the world are women are very stunning in looks. there not so stuck up, rude, not ever man wanna f u, trying to see what u got, not lock up in some fantasy world this rappers make, all they ask for to is to be a man, and respect them. that’s just what i seen on the male side. PS a black man would lose his mind in germany, its a BMW(black man’s world), lol

KML-at this topic and why do ya’ll always put the blacks down and the white women/there number is this much better than the black women. Some white women will marry just because and you got the white man in jail as well as the black man and they didn’t finish school either. Its a choice I maded not to get married and I got 1 child and yes I know who her father is and my job pay just as much as some of the women in the interview. If I had married my childs father we would have ended up-like most of the white women/Usher ready to sign those papers in court and he take his half and she get hers and they split the kids. Who want to go threw that sh!t if your not happy with the 1 your with it-leave and if you got someone and if the relationshp is not broke don’t fix’s it. Meaning if your happy in your relationship and your girl get marry don’t jump up and say your not happy or that you want to get married just because. A ring,change of last name,and a piece of paper mean what? Just that your married and if either cheat the other get half and ya’ll go threw some bullsh!t. Im PROUD to be single and don’t care who know it and its not about the money to me its rather or not if he is that part that make me hole-as in joint together to make that 1. (JMO)

And where did they get this INFORMATION from? Not all BLACK women are even like that-and I don’t want no thug nor a man with his pants off his a$$. If he a thug our night out would mean us looking over our shoulder and on the run all the damn time from the cops or n!ggas in the streets. Pants off the a$$ is a turn off so gay to me. As far as money goes he got to have some type of government paying job and he got to be able to drive/DL,make me lol,respect me,trust me,and he got to keep it real 100 with me,and most f all respect himself. As far as the relationship go its got to be 50/50-with me and if 1 is sick or losted there job is the only time things suppose to be different. But like I said,stated befor im single and im not looking. I got friends and thats it and when the time is right thing will come into play-so until then im living the good life. (OAJMO)

WELLL I’M NOT TAKING NO SIDE I JUS FEEL LIKE DAT SUMTIMES NIGGAZ IS DOG THEY SO BUSY STICKIN EVERYTHING DAT WALKS FEMALES CA’T TRUST US.I AIN’T THOSE GUY SO I DONT HACE 2 WORRY BOUT.BUT AT DA SAME TIME SUMTIMES FEMALES YALL CAN BE REASON DATS ALL I HAVE SAY

THIS IS A MONEY SOCIETY. MAJORITY OF BLACK MEN WITH MONEY WILL HELP A BROKE BLACK WOMAN GET ON HER FEET. MAJORITY OF BLACK WOMEN WITH MONEY WOULD NOT HELP A BROKE BLACK MAN GET ON HIS FEET UNLESS THEY ARE INVOLVED. UNDER 10% OF BLACK MEN IN THE U.S.A. REALLY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. THE REST LIVE IN POVERTY NOT BY CHOICE. ALMOST ALL THE BOSSES THAT ARE MEN LIKE TO SURROUND THEMSELVES WITH A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN. MAJORITY OF THE BLACK WOMEN THAT ARE VERY DARK HAVE IT HARDER THAN THEIR LIGHTER COUNTER PART. IF YOU’RE A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN LIVING IN A MONEY SOCIETY YOU DON’T REALLY NEED A HUSBAND. THERE ARE ABOUT 2 BILLION OR MORE WHITE PEOPLE IN THE U.S.A. AND UNDER 1 BILLION BLACK PEOPLE COUNTING HISPANICS AND OTHER RACES TOGETHER. IT’S OBVIOUS WHO HAS THE MONEY UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE LUCKY FINE WOMEN. OF COURSE YOU HAVE A SPRINKLE FEW THAT ARE NOT AS FINE BUT HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. MOST BLACK PEOPLE WITH MONEY ARE ENTERTAINERS OR WAS A ONE POINT. A FEW ARE SELF MADE MILLIONAIRES.

“PS a black man would lose his mind in germany, its a BMW(black man’s world), lol”

I’m pretty sure Germany isn’t filled with strong Black women. Statements like the one above is why 42% of Black women are single. Did anybody else notice that his story didn’t make any sense?

@ iceman

Maybe the woman was about to holla at you until you turned around and showed her your face. You left the story opened-ended so it just looks like one of them said hey, you turned around and said what’s up, and then they turned their noses up. That usually means that it must be ya ass cause it ain’t ya face.

lol sorry I had to do it

Okay they need to do a study that actually breaks down the percentage of black people who are between the ages of 23 and 40 with a Professional level degree /masters degree all the way down to GED and high school drop out.

Then they need to see if it is a direct correlation between education and marriage. Then they need to see if there is a correlation between education and needs/wants.

This study is too broad and isn’t tell me anything. 42% of successful black women might be single but 80% of uneducated black women are married. Are we comparing uneducated black women to educated black women. Reading this top it seem like 42% of black women are single. Which is it? Those are totally two different target markets and totally two different “SES” levels.

My point is the study didn’t explain why, it only gave us some data. 42% of black women are single is information but it isn’t telling me anything.

Why I think black women are single seriously? I don’t know. Every individual woman should be treated as an individual entity and we can not generalize. I know that women over look me, but they would rather be friends and date someone who is a known dog. I can’t hold that against them. that’s just one example from the outside looking in again that observation doesn’t explain those females behaviors or actions.

Also i just pulled the “80% of uneducated women are married out of my a$$” those numbers are not true so don’t say where did you get those numbers from. As I was typing It was the first number. I was just using that as an example that all.

makeherwett870…Love what you had to say…this is the exact breakdown that DOESNT exist in this article. And because its not available on this site, there should not be damn near 600 comments on this! I know the men of this site wouldnt like it if they displayed numbers claiming that over 65% of black males are high school dropouts,in jail OR gay..(Yes this study does exist on http://WWW.cbs.com/societyclass). That says no more than 35% of the men on this site actually have something good in life going on, but you men are QUICK to jump on what appears to be a problem for black women..tsk tsk tsk.

ICEMaN3026…Whatever you ‘on’ you need to stop. What you typed was random, foul thought out, ILL delivered and damn sure wasnt comprehensible. If Germany is where you would ‘lose your mind’…then please do go back and retrieve it. IF youre going to pass judgement on black women..atleast do so with articulation and sense!

Whats amazes me most is that alot of great single women always end up with the no good dudes. and the good dudes like myself end up empty handed.

Well when you have been married and that marriage not work out, you try and learn from your mistakes that was made. Everything that looks good is not good for you!!! I have a awesome 4 year old son and he is such a blessing, i wouldn’t give anything in the world for him. He is trully a blessing to my life and his ‘sperm donor’ is the one missing out! YOU WONDER WHY SO MANY BLACK WOMEN ARE SINGLE? WHERE IS A BLACK MAN WHO WILL STAND UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, INSTEAD OF SEEING HOW MANY WOMEN HE CAN IMPREGNATE!!!

THIS IS A MONEY SOCIETY. MAJORITY OF BLACK MEN WITH MONEY WILL HELP A BROKE BLACK WOMAN GET ON HER FEET. MAJORITY OF BLACK WOMEN WITH MONEY WOULD NOT HELP A BROKE BLACK MAN GET ON HIS FEET UNLESS THEY ARE INVOLVED. UNDER 10% OF BLACK MEN IN THE U.S.A. REALLY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. THE REST LIVE IN POVERTY NOT BY CHOICE. ALMOST ALL THE BOSSES THAT ARE MEN LIKE TO SURROUND THEMSELVES WITH A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN. MAJORITY OF THE BLACK WOMEN THAT ARE VERY DARK HAVE IT HARDER THAN THEIR LIGHTER COUNTER PART. IF YOU’RE A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN LIVING IN A MONEY SOCIETY YOU DON’T REALLY NEED A HUSBAND. THERE ARE ABOUT 2 BILLION OR MORE WHITE PEOPLE IN THE U.S.A. AND UNDER 1 BILLION BLACK PEOPLE COUNTING HISPANICS AND OTHER RACES TOGETHER. IT’S OBVIOUS WHO HAS THE MONEY UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE LUCKY FINE WOMEN. OF COURSE YOU HAVE A SPRINKLE FEW THAT ARE NOT AS FINE BUT HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. MOST BLACK PEOPLE WITH MONEY ARE ENTERTAINERS OR WAS AT ONE POINT. A FEW ARE SELF MADE MILLIONAIRES. ANOTHER THING, WHERE ARE THE VERY DARK SKINNED WOMEN OR WOMAN IN THIS VIDEO?

Preach MDJamison. I seen so many great black women go to a*****es and playas that I almost gave up myself and switched to another race.

Personally, I’d prefer to marry a black woman. Im just not attracted to white women and I dont have very much in common with other races like Asian or Indian and whatnot. I jus hope the rest of our sisters find what they’re looking for, black or otherwise.

The indispensable obligation of the Black man to carry the weight of his birthright seems to be toooooooooooooo much. Excuse me if I don’t want to be included in your threesome fantasy which may or may not include me. Excuse me, if I want to be your one and only from now until the end because when I pledged my life to you that’s where I saw me and your end. Excuse me if want you to be the disciplinarian in OUR child’s life. Excuse the hell out of me if I expect you to respect me, demand respect for me, and yourself as my man! Last time I checked I was takin from your rib given back to you to love me so I could love you the way you need me to. I can do that! Just be the man you suppose to be! Never expect me to doubt you nor cater to your childishness. Believe me I pray for nothing less than the best. Expect nothing but His best! Love me and I’ll take care of the rest! Real talk!~Your woman in G.O.D.~

I don’t see a problem here, I don’t think anyone should settle for anything just for the hell of being with someone. If she wants 6′ and above she should wait until she found that man because I will be honest with you I won’t settle for overweight woman or unless my top three criterias are fullfiled. If a woman or a man decide to follow their interest and settle for some loser it shouldn’t be anybody’s problem but theirs. They should learn from their mistakes instead of blaming other guys or girls for that person deed.

I rather be single for the rest of my life than settle for a woman who wouldn’t fullfil 1/100th of my interest. As the matter of fact I like the lifestyle I have so much it will be very difficult for me to change that. The older I get the harder for someone to convince me to be part of their life. They say men’s biological clock don’t tick but who would like to have kid after turning 40, personally I am not willing to raise a child when its time to retire. Ya feel me, I am out — one love -AK>

This video/topic has been posted on several websites over the last week or so and this topic of conversation is so overarching and far-reaching that I’ve dedicated more hours than I care to share to reading ALL of the comments on ALL of the websites (in an attempt to understand why people feel the way that they do).

What I gather from listening/reading everyone’s commentary?

There is a lot of hurt in the black community…

I wonder what would happen if we let our guard down a bit, stopped attacking one-another, and genuinely tried to understand the other sides point-of-view?

Happy New Year All!

It has been my observations that (a lot not ALL) black men don’t want to share, don’t care and won’t give their hearts to a woman; black or otherwise. Since the late eighties right around the “gangster rap” era black men have become self-centered and selfish. The nineties ushered in the need for our men to shine. A brother can’t get that ring if he wants to bling! Profiling their status as free and open to date women of all races in a way we never witness seen before in America. But in the decade of the BUBBLE it shall be interesting to see what will come in this next decade. Black men in my opinion are only as faithful in courting one woman as their options goes!

damn i aint kno the dude from sprung wit the dreads was a comedian @ anubis , yall woman prob aint even black , lmaoooooo@ my music wack , i hope the beeswax aint frying ya wig , get a life chump !!!!!ya bankrollway of life will never be up where mines is at partna , n tell ya wifey i said hey !

I think that there are several reasons on why so many black women are single. 1.there are alot of brothers who are locked up and alot who are in the streets who probably will eventually share that same fate. 2 There are women who glorify the thug life or should i say they claim they want a thug/gentlemem knowing what the outcome will be in most cases. 3. i think the black man and woman choose the wrong mate for the wrong reason. 4.It might sound crazy but, here in America we (black man and woman) let hollywood and the entertainment industry and Ebony magazine lay the laws down for what is agood black man and what isnt. I believe that we as apeople are suppose to reach for the stars but, hollywood,the music industry including videos, and the people they speak of in ebony and jet dosent speak for the majority of black men in america. Whatever happened to the brother that works hard, the brother who is always looking to do better, the one who respects the black woman and the one who does not fall for anything. TO ME ITS LIKE SOME OF THE MUSLIM BROTHERS SAY ” IN AMERICA WE ARE TAUGHT WHATS RIGHT IS WRONG AND WHATS WRONG IS RIGHT”

I think E2THEB pretty much hit the nail on the head. I would also like to add something to that as well. I believe a lot of black woman are now being attracted to men that look like women to be honest. They like the Guy with the pointy stuff at the top and all types of shiny grease on it, shirts with glitter all on it, and someone that wears the same size jeans as them. And like my dude E2THEB said below me its hollywood and magazines targeting woman that are influencing them to like that type of guy; when in all actuality a majority of good dudes are not like that. The era of woman liking real men that wear men clothing, men suits, eat red meat, watch football on sSundays, plays ball with his boys, and cut hair is dying hard and fast. When you think about it, this is often times why women are single to begin with. Women looking for a commitment based relationship should spend more time discovering if he has graduated from college or is in school if that’s what you’re looking for; if he is bringing in steady and sure income and is always looking to do better, and lastly what type of moral structure, integrity, and values he has. Not to totally downplay looks, I mean that is the first thing we look at, but ladies go for the real man instead of the plastic man.
TANK

I don’t see a problem with black women being single… or anyone being single for that matter. If they aren’t married more than likely they haven’t found what they’ve been looking for and who wants to settle for less? Not I…

Who Cares

I am a 30 + years old Black male, college educated, focused, no kids…but poor. All my life I dated nothing but Black women…but it was more like I “chased” after Black women. Then one day I got engaged to a filipina woman. Word soon spread at my job that I was engaged and then the reactions I heard from Black women were very funny….yet interesting at the same time.

One Black woman asked another Black woman (who in turn told me) “why the hell would someone marry me because I am broke?” She laughed at my “brokeness” as if it was a disease or a sickness.

Another Black woman saw my fiancee on my cell phone and joked about how I used my “broke” paychecks to buy my fiancee a ring….which I proudly did. I have no shame in that. But apparently to a lot (not all) of Black women being poor cancels out being married. I think this is what really destroys Black communities. Marriage is a weapon AGAINST poverty, it is not something to be had AFTER poverty is gone. I see many Hispanic immigrants, poor as dirt, who have wives by their sides…and that is why they are willing to work any job. Let the Black man sit out on a corner just looking for low income work…and the Black woman will drive by laughing at him.

The irony…and the sad part about this is that I am on the verge of starting a very lucrative side business. And who knows, my business may end up failing…but at the end of the day I know my wife be there for me….and that is totally strange to me because I am so use to feeling belittled by Black women for being poor.

Marriage is for “richer or for poorer,” and that is something that most “professional” Black women simply roll their eyes at.

im a 30 year old black man who teaches in DC. If you the male female ratio was 2 to 1, the majority of black women would still be single. Lets ask black men why they didnt decide to marry the last person they were with. These women are beautiful but i”d bet that if you were to interveiw their ex;s, alot would come to the surface to make us understand why they are still single.

Truth_Blazer, I know of where you speak. I have seen it a million and one times with black men…the same one’s that black women DON’T want decide that “racial solidarity” is a poor excuse for being unhappy and alone and decided to date interracially…THEN the sisters start tripping; THEY don’t want you, but don’t want you to be with anyone else. Combine that with the fact that black women are favored over black men in the labor market (even with they have comparable education/backgrounds), and you have a race of women who think they are better than their men and that they shouldn’t “settle.” I say fine…don’t “settle”…die alone. LMBAO

I THINK THAT BLACK MEN AND WOMEN HAVE ISSUES THAT OTHER COUPLES DONT,SUCH AS HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT, LOWER WAGES, RACISM. THIS INRETURN CREATES AN ONGOING STRESSOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP. HOWEVER, WHEN YOU TAKE A SISTA OR BROTHER AND PAIR THEM WITH A RACE THAT HAS PRIVELAGE YOU GET SOMETHING DIFFRENT SOMETIMES. YOU SEE AFTER A HARD DAY OF WORK AND BROTHER MIKE IS LAID OFF HE HAS THAT WHITE GIRL LAYING THEIR WHOSE DADDY HAS ALOT OF MONEY SO SHE HAS ALOT OF MONEY. THAT SUPER CAVE GIRL SAYS THIS. ” DONT WORRY WE STILL HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY THE MORGAGE AND ILL PAY YOUR CAR NOTE YOU WILL BE FINE UNTILL U GET BACK ON YA FEET. WHERE AS THAT SISTA SOMETIMES HER MONEY AINT AS LONG AND STRONG AS OLD SUPER CAVE GIRLS DADDY( SHE SOMETIMES IS THE FIRST IN HER FAMILY TO ATTEND COLLEGE) YOU SEE BROTHER ALL YOU HAVE TO DO FOR THAT WHITE GIRL OR ASIAN IS F**K HER RIGHT AND YOU GOT IT SHE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU EVEN IF HAVE NOTHING. BLACK MEN AND WOMEN HAVE AN UPHILL BATTLE TOGETHER AND VERY FEW RELATIONSHIPS WEATHER THAT STORM. I SAY WE KEEP TRYING. WE ARE WORTH IT.

I m a 35 year old Black man from NY. no kids, I work full time at my job that I have been employed with for eighteen years and I am going to school for my associates degree in networking.( working for the better) I tend to do other things. I am into pro wrestling , comedy and sports. I am a good looking guy I am also 5’6′ tall , stocky round the middle & above all that , I am a man of God.Plus I love who I am . When I get into discussions like this, especially on the topic as to why so many single Black women can not find eligible Black men. I would have to say this. look into the situation. It’s like what many people have said. People have their preferences. But above all, Where is teh prayer in all this. One of the women on the interview said that she has a requirement list in her bible. .Hell I seen one that my ex-fiance had too , and I did not meet any of her standards. Sure she like the go- getters and everything. But she felt theneed to question my manhood, because i am the reasonable type( meaning I use my thoughts) rather than be a fake assed thug. I think that we put in too much into the superficial and artifical when choosing who we wanna be with. I find that what it is , it’s self esteem issues and the fear of being alone. I’ll end this post like this. Through lack , you make lack manifest. Through strong faith, you get what you believe in. There is some one for everybody.If I can not meet the need for you. I can sure as hell say that i can meet it for one that is meant for me.

TO MY BLACK MEN I FEEL YOU 100% ABOUT THE ATTITUDES BLACK WOMAN HAVE TOWARDS BLACK MEN. WOMEN OF OTHER ETHNICITIES ARE WILLING TO TOLERATE AND TAKE ON THE STRUGGLES OF BLACK MEN THAT BLACK WOMEN JUST WILL NOT COMPROMISE IN.
@TRUTHBLAZER: I FEEL WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. NONE OF THESE ‘BLACK’ FEMALES WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU THE TIME OR THE DAY, BUT AS SOON AS THE FILIPINO WOMAN DID, THEY WERE JUDGEMENTAL. IT IS ALWAYS LIKE THAT. BUT I HAVE TO ADMITT, WHEN WE DO GIVE THE ‘BROTHERS WITH ISSUES AND SITUATIONS’ A CHANCE, WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY TURN AROUND AND GIVE BLACK WOMEN THEIR A$$ TO KISS. I HATE TO USE THIS AS AN EXAMPLE, BUT HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN DO THE BID WITH BROTHERS LOCKED DOWN WHO COME HOME AND LEAVE THEM? AS SOON AS A BLACK WOMEN LET’S A BLACK MAN WITH THE MANY STRUGGLES COME INTO THEIR LIVES AND WE SUPPORT THEM, THEY TURN THEIR BACKS ON US. IF YOU SIT DOWN WITH SOME OF THESE FEMALES AND ASK THEM HOW WAS THEIR LAST RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR EX’S, YOU WILL REALIZE THAT IT IS NOT ONLY BLACK WOMEN WITH SOME ISSUES, BUT BLACK MEN HAVE SOME MAJOR CONTRIBUTIONS AS WELL. WE ALL HAVE SOME SORT OF PROBLEM, EITHER DADDY OR MOMMY WASN’T THEIR, SOCIETY, ETCC….BUT WE NEVER CAN COME TO THE TABLE AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER FOR WHO WE ARE AND TRY TO COMPRISE AND WORK AT A RELATIONSHIP. I HAVE TO ADMITT, WHEN IT COMES TO BLACK MEN, BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT AS QUICK TO BAIL OUT AS BLACK MEN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

kountry_mayne I agree. I have recenlty dated 2 gentlemen (one last year and the other eneded 3 months ago) who’s previous girlfriends were either on medication and they didn’t know it (too caught up in the looks and pu$$Y), lied about their age (old as woman 40 trapping 24 year old men with things), and constantly in trouble. Then, when they get to me, they don’t know what to do. All they can say is don’t change on me or they constantly tell me that I need to stop acting like I don’t need them (why i don’t know, I though it was cool when a chick is comfortable in her own skin, doesn’t nag and take care of her business instead of being all up in his face for things and unecessary time, it’s enough when you meet a dude who flauges to get your attention, the wrong attention from my perspective). I also met a recent dude (didn’t lie aboout his career, what he had and extremely sweet to me but lied about his relationship status) who can’t keep it real and loose out on a good friend or possibly mate (waiting for him to admit cause he thinks i don’t know). I am tired of being nonchalant to men who bring me bull. I am straight forward and it seems that men try to play on that because thay see that you are alone so they think that you are desperate to be with someone. Again, it is both sides. I constantly check myself on what kind of men I attract and constanly have to repel busters as far as dating goes (physical attraction always been good but the mental state, career goals and social orientaion doesn’t match up with my lifestyle). I also have a question for all males. I never went up to a dude and asked for their number. (That’s wack ladies), men are to be the aggessor (hunter) but, it’s like i see ladies doing that all the time. I can understand a smile and eye contact but, he is suppose to make the move. Is that cute to ya’ll? Help me out on this one ya’ll, Im old school and a couple of my homies are regretting that they even acknowledge such a aggressive woman cause they are trapped with the broad due to kids.

The dating game is modern-day PROSTITUTION.

@_beautiful, you don’t see problem with black women being single, but there IS a problem. You have a 32 year old black woman saying that her white peers are married by 25, and by 27 they already have two kids, whereas she already at 32, sees no possibility of finding a compatible man.
There is no problem with being single if that where you want to be, but if you don’t . . .

World’s Best, you are sooo right. Marriage IS modern-day prostitution. Men and women don’t even think alike on the subject…as little girls, women grow up thinking about “her special day;” boys/men don’t. They love the fairy-tale aspect of the ceremony, but forget that a relationship is more than just about what SHE wants. Men want relationships..women want “romance.” Why are so many “single?” Just look at the profiles on BP for the insane “preferences” they have (such as “I don’t want a man under 6′ 1″…PULEEZE…I’ll worry about my height when YOU concern yourself with your weight! LOL)

Bottom line, we can’t keep going to the highest bidder. We all have a list of things we want in a mate, that’s not the issue. We all have a list of “deal breakers” that are short, sweet, and to the point.

With most ladies today, if you don’t make a certain salary or have certain level of degree, they don’t consider you as marriage material.
Important Note: It doesn’t mater how funny your jokes are, or how nice your outfit is, or how “deep” you think you are lol.

ok MOST women saay they dont want the BAD BOY BUTT.. if u check her resume, they got BAD BOYS on their resume.. she wuznt raised like that..BUTT she has bad boys on her resume(and his kids in the crib).. they STILL got the saaaaammmmme excuses… EXCUSES..

a nigga get’s blamed 4 er thang.. all they(women) got 2 do iz act stupid.. “PLAY DUMB”.. and we payin kelis 50, 000 a month.. that’s her man and alot of our daddies..

if we would take it ‘back in the DAYYS’.. they’d clOOOOWNnn a nigga 4 being SERIOUS with alot of these young ladies, trottin along..

i aint goin 2 say ask ur DADDY.. becuz we dont know what kinda game yours or mines had.. it could have been weak.. just becuz they are our parents/children dont make them intelligent..

let’s BE FAAIIIR! u dont want a man wit kids.. well me either..

u dont want a man if he aint 6’5′ 225.. well shiit my dream iz 5’7 black and latin..(she can teach me spanish while i bump it in slow mo, from the side)

if a white women talks 2 a black dude.. she doesnt care 2 see a white man with black woman 4 the most part..

it iz like as a whole we have a poor sense of justice.. we act like we are the center of the universe.. WE ARENT..

WE WERE TAUGHT 2 HAVE high esteem.. 2 see our selves as GOD 2 balance the slave mentallity .. we wuz like YESSIM BOSS.. WE NEEDED ESTEEM.. times up..

snap out of it.. NEW ERA

Summer_So_Fine, darln read your history, the only woman on earth who gave the ultimate sacrifice was the black woman. Let’s not forget who had the jobs because the white man favored the blk woman. Who begged and cried to the masters to not sell their children off just yet, let them stay a lil longer on the plantion with their family. Who sons are constaly being killed by the police in the middle of the street unarmed (R.I.P to the many Sean Bell’s) and picked up becaue they are at the wrong place in the wrong time, why are white women still lying on ya’ll when they get raped but you will kiss the ground they walk on (not all are like that but choose ya Becky wisely we should have learned that when that McCain chick said she was raped and abused by a black dude who but the letter B on the side of her face). Read WILLIE LYNCH, re-visit HUEY P. NEWTON, read your BIBLE (Moses wife who was black and from Ethiopia, it’s also amazing how Africa (white man, foreigners name for the continent but the who country in Biblical time was and still is Ethiopia), we have the oldest genetic trait that is found in all races and scientist are now admitting we are the Adam and Eve of man (what other race can have two dark skinned parents and have a light baby, only black people). Black men have been through too much in history to know how society feels about them. So when you go out there and do stupid sh*t like getting caught selling dope on the job, fighting with your mistress when you have a wife and it’s brought to your home, having babies outside of marriage, hell yeah, a sistah will tolerate so much (any woman with sense no matter what race) will not bail you out. She will tell you to kick rocks. I know I have and still will. We as a people always had to be cautious in whatever we do. Too bad you feel that way towards black women.

GOOD GRIEF ALL THIS FINGER POINTING THIS IS NEVER ENDING. I SAY THIS IF YOU CHOOSE TO DATE OUT YOUR RACE SO BE IT ! BUT DONT MAKE AN EXCUSE FOR IT. FUNNY THING ALL THESE MEN COMPLAINING ABOUT THESE SISTAS ATTITUDES THAT DOESNT STOP THEM FROM WANTING TO GET BETWEEN THEIR LEGS THATS ONE THING FOR SURE. TRUTH IS WHITE GIRLS GET MARRIED BECAUSE THEY HAVE AN ORDER THEY GO TO COLLEGE, ABORT BABIES UNTILLL THEY GET MARRIED, THEN MARRY and have babies. Where as we are all over the place drop n it like its hot, having our babies with men who then decide they dont want to commit cause suddenly theres something wrong with the girl ,then……….. we try to go to college. Truth is most of our men fight settling down and use the mess about a woman changing as an excuse lol. I say lets go way back. No sex before marriage. Thats right shut the candy shop down and Now ask these brothers how many of them are willing to wait , lets say 10 months of dating befoore u get the coochie after marriage. I bet many of them will marry and file for divorce the next day cause they want something new…

@Angilix, wassup brother! Here we have Sisters comparing and possibly worrying/comparing themselves to their White peers since when do you as a Black person care about living up to the expectation of the White folks, please don’t take it as me being bias, but I personally I don’t care to entertain their thoughts/comments/ two-cents about anything regarding my community (Black Race) frankly. How come the media and pre-dominately westerners ( whites) ? Have so much to say about Black women social status ? We certainly don’t intervene or care about there world so why is cameras always in ours ? WAKE UP

I agree with ya catgirlTX.

LADIES SHUT THE CANDY SHOP ….. DOWN!!! THATS RIGHT
what would happen today if sistas said no cochie till marriage. EITHER THE BROTHERS ARE GONNA BEAT ON THE WHITE GIRLS DOORS HARDER OR PERHAPS CONSIDER SETTLEING DOWN SOONER . oF COURSE THIS IS ASSUMING HE WILL SETTLE AND DO RIGHT NOT MARRY AND HAVE A MILLION WOMEN ON THE SIDE!! tHE IDEA OF A MAN HAVING TO WAIT KILLS THEM!!!!! WHEN SOCIETY GOT TO THE POINT WHERE WE WERE HAVEING SEX WITH EACH OTHER AND WE DISCOVERED WOW WE CAN DO THIS AND NOT BE MARRIED, WE CAN EVEN LIVE TOGETHER THEN THINGS WENT DOWN HILL BECAUSE WHAT PERSON WOULD WANT TO COMMIT WHEN AS THE BROTHER WAS SAYING ITS SO MUCH COOCHIE OUT THERE…..

Black women aint s**t.

I am a 28 year old women work for the better No kids and yet most black men look at me as a Alien because I have manage to not become a statistic in my all black community where I grew up even the women I grew up with from around the way find me weird I was blessed with both parents in the home full time during my growing up so they don’t talk to me I feel that the number one problems in African American relations ships besides finances are settling on both parts both black men and women, Men tend to date or have babies by a female that already have baggage like other baby daddy’s and on welfare and single women like myself settle just because he’s a man not a good man just he’s a man and hoping that one day he will settle down with us and that’s if he manages to get his life together…

I agree with Cat girlTX gotta put a ring on it! why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free! Right

anjuan34 that means ya mother ain’t sh*t plus, she didn’t abort ya retarded behind. So re-think that darln and yes justmein81, I feel ya. They are scared of chicks like us.

Ok…. Here’s my piece. I’m a 20 (soon to be 21) year old male, attending my 3rd year of college in vocal performance, and still I get almost no respect from most women…. I’m a nice person, and people take advantage of that sometimes. I’m a bit of a nerd, but I’m by no means a weakling. I have a lot of things going for me. The only thing that would deter a black (or most women) woman, would be the fact that I live with my mother. That is not by choice, but because of my financial position. So, what it all boils down to is the fact that I’m broke… It has always been about money for most black women, because they want security. I don’t blame ‘em… But on top of that, we ALL need to realize that true love makes money obselete. No, I’m not some bleedheart, but a realist. If someone were really to be “truly” in love with someone, they would not care about money issues. Of course it would be an issue, but not something to hold against someone. I (personally) wouldn’t give a damn if you were poor as an Aborigine, if I truly like you. Also, there are many different cultural crossings that are prevalent, of which ALOT of black women are not ready to cross yet. My points of advice to successful black women: 1)Quit asking “why” if you already know the answer (most of you do that.. I’ve seen it all too often). And if you don’t know, do some soul-searching. 2)Don’t be bitter if the one you want is taken or unavailable. Chances are, you may be looking in the wrong place. 3)Don’t place a cart of expectations on someone you want to get to know. It can scare away a good man. Who wants someone that keeps demanding the world and the cosmos out of you? I’d rather find someone who “wants me for me.” Isn’t that what we’re ALL looking for? 4)Money isn’t everything.. If it were, I would have NEVER lost my virginity to ANY woman. I would have never been able to get into college, because there would be some kind of loophole that would wring more money out of my corpse. That’s just to say the least… 5)Try dating outside your race!!!!!!! Damn it!! What is wrong with some variety?! There are good and strong irish, arab, indian, native american, hispanic, asian, african, australian (and the list goes on…) men!! Expand your horizons and your palette!! 6)Don’t fall into the hype. Black women and mainstream culture seem to be damn near synonymous. Just find someone that works hard, never gives up, and likes you for who you are. Forget about whether or not it’s “fashionable” to give him any of your time. Just be happy that he isn’t some toothless, odious, bum! In the long run, he (besides your family) will be the only person that will care for your feelings and time… Finally, 7)Don’t let minute things blind you to what the world could be… When you put the blinders on, you put on misery, loneliness, bitterness, and remorse. And to ALL BLACK MEN… make sure that NO woman has a reason to deny you. That means GET A JOB, A LIFE, AND SOME CONFIDENCE!!! If you are some little boy, the only person who would want you is a LITTLE GIRL!!! I’m pretty sure that isn’t legal… Good luck with that.
That’s my piece. If you want more advice, or an explanation in MORE elaborate detail, just message me on black planet. I also give sex advice, as well. Peace.

You sisters are in denial!!!

If you don’t think your standards are “too high,” then hold on to them for another 5-10 years and see if “Mr. Meet-My-Standards” shows up.

If you are wanting a man who meets a “height requirement,” then check your weight…he may have a “weight requirement.” Glass houses…

You all simply “want” too much, and I’m not talking materially. As the Buddhists say, “the more you desire something, the more unhappy you will be.” Learn to appreciate the beauty and interest in the small things and the things that are in front of you…stop “wanting” all the time. ;)

“No sex before marriage?” As much as you sisters like to b*tch & moan about how “good” a man is in bed, that’s simply not practical. How are you going to know if you’re sexually compatible? “Faith?” “Talking about it?” Pu-leeze…get on the reality train!

LEAVE THE BAD BOYS ALONE! You look in a trash can, expect to find garbage…and don’t blame all men because YOU chose wrong trying to bring some “excitement” to whatever emotional void you’re trying to fill.

Finally, accept the fact that the cards are simply stacked against the black male. Yes, you may have a bit more career drive, but even when a black man is educated, stays out of trouble, or is motivated, YOU’RE going to be hired, employed, and (as a consequence) “have your own” more often than us. Society favors you that way.

Well, it has been my personal experience with black women that they have the wrong preconceptions about the ideal black man, one that is mostly found in white childerns books, the so called “prince charming”. It is easy to see that the majority of the available black men has already been “burnt” by the average black woman. Take my past situation for example. I was married for 12 years and during that course, I had experienced the manipulation, being deceived and all that comes with being in a so called happy marriage due to the fact that I was the one that solely supported my family. Would I repeat that experience, definitly not. My idea of marriage wasnt her idea, she came from a family that didnt support the same ideals and morals that I grew up in. My father and mother have been married now for 40+ years, and never did I have to experience their separation, profanity or any other kind of negativity, but her family was verbally abusive to her and seemed to always put her down, and that baggage came directly into our marriage. But before we were married, she covered it so well, the so called “front” that I didnt know until it was way to late. So, in short, to all the black men out there, definitly LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, you guys dont want to make the same mistakes that I and many other good black men have made, for one, I say… you might want to test the waters outside of your race before commiting to one that is inside your race because of peer pressure. Choose the right one for you, no matter what the color might be, but just like when shopping for a car, test drive the relationship before you buy, if the qualities that you dont want is there before you decide to marry, then they will surely multiply after you marry. Take your time and be careful and AWARE my brothers.

I honestly can only speak from my own experience in the dating scene. I’m intelligent, no not college educated, yes had children young, but now Im 39 attractive, look much younger than most 39 year olds from what the younger brothers hittin’ on me seem to think, intelligent, fun loving, not some boring homebody, like alot of people in there 30′s, far from it actually, and I plan to go back to school with the next 6 months to make something better of myself. This is to improve me, not for a brother, or anyone else. That being said, the men I come accross these days are generally: way too young, think 30 or younger, not have kids, my kids are 18 and 20 I am done, it’s not happening here, babyshop is closed, too old, I need a brother in my age group, someone who can keep up, in and out of the bedroom, again I must point out, Im outgoing, not a homebody, or last but not least, just looking for sex, not a loving commited relationship. I don’t judge someone’s employment status, as long as they are trying to better themselves, you can work at Burger king, yes if you’re in your 30′s you should be going back to school change that, The economyis terrible in some fields, and layoffs are rampant as we know, so you do what you need to do to put food on your table. I don’t feel that someone who works in a fast food restaurant or is a janitor or in housekeepking is less intelligent than myself just because I might read alot and work in an office. I’d give them a chance for us to know one another, but yes they do need to be on my level intellectually speaking. I’m like one sister on here who mentioned intelligence, I need, and crave the stimuilation of an intelligent Black man, in my opinion, there’s nothing finer!Personally I may be older, wiser, slightly more intelligent, but when I worked fast food when my babies, were indeed babies, I was almost as intelligent as I am now, no genius by far, but I do like to be able to talk on a variety of subjects, and if the package that this comes in is within someone who works in a Blue collar career, where I would like to have a white collar one, so be it. As far as dating out of my race, this is not an option, I have never been attracted to any men who weren’t African American, I love the strength, the skintone and the connection that other races will never, ever understand.

looper, you guys please try to keep ya post kinda short dont put ya life story on here its hog n the page. perhaps make several short post.

I guess black woman are to loyal to the black man. So yeah science you right. I know sisters, you wan’t a blck mate but, we are all human. We know when we go out who’s interested so try it. I coming to grips with that myself.

Teach them @ Eyron, AS you folks read the bible you will read scriptures in which folks weren’t suppose to marry others outside of their own, check Genesis as one book for reference point. Black Folks don’t care about their Genetics/Roots Blessing nor their Race because a lot of them is lacking knowledge, they believe what they were thought and are unable to absorb information outside of the school books. If you look at other ethnicities they favor their own kind, it is not only Black people who feels that way but if we do, we’re then termed Radical, Militant, and Racist the list goes on and on. And yes @ Eyron, I wonder why we are always (Black males) being targeted, sisters have you open up your mine and try to understand why we the original is always having a bull eye placed on our back. Yes I as black male will admit though that we have internal issues due to many components but one thing that is needed to help remediate that problem is the black community. Back in the days your neighbors and others, old trees ( great elder women) were there to guide you, the media was not keen enough at the time to perpetuate it divisiveness campaign. Let me stop, I am a Generation X.

There are lots of reasonS why black women aren’t getting married. A major one is that black women today (& other ethnicities to a lesser degree) now embody all the attributes that no good man wants. Black women today are LOUD, BOSSY, CRUDE AND SASSY. They pride themselves on being the B-word.

If you look at the black women and characters on tv, they perpetuate these images. These are the attributes our mothers warned us about.

Black women are single because they lost the ability to be lady-like.

I read a sister post that we black males will go beating down on white girls doors if they were to shut down the Candy shop!!!! But what the sister fail to realize is that Black males don’t have to knock we are the most wanted males on the face of this planet, which is why we black folks have most variations of all groups dear. We don’t have to seek never had to dating back to slavery, we ain’t rape them, they wanted us, sleep with the slaves.

looper i feel u cuz, i learned alot about from my last relationship, i got dumped right out of college with a degree, just cause i coudn’t find a job, at the time i was staying with my mom & i was only 20 years old. The last thing my ex told me was i need to get myself together, now that i have that dream job, my own place, car, & everything else i need, she’s pregnant with another guys baby, & the guy that got her pregnant doesn’t even wanna be bothered with her anymore. So from that point on i lost all respect for black women that are materialistic in any type of way. If a black women asks me what do i do, i know what to expect, & i also cut materialistic women off now 100 times quicker than i used too. I’d rather talk to a chick from the projects with nothing that respects life for what it is & loves me for me, than the prissy 4 year university daddy’s girl that wants you to have everything including the moon in your wallet, then when your wallet runs dry , your gone too. Money & a lil bit of game can get you any women u want, no matter how you look, if you don’t believe me look at the flavor flave show

I just wanna say talking about a problem is good 4 the problem and black women r rude lmfao. If black women r inlargely single they don’t act like it I won’t even go out to where black women kick it i tell a black woman she fine at a black spot/hangout first thing out her mouth is u gone buy me a drink hell naw b***h i ain’t buyin u a damn thing if i go to a white spot/hangout hell if i’m looking good and talking good i might get laid black women ignore all my good qualitys 4 a rum and coke man thats crackhead and they ought to be embarresed i’ve been to grocery stores, malls, i even stop get out my car and holla at black women at the bus stop and can’t get a date they act intemidated or scared of me hell i know i’m good looking wit game cause white women, indian women,chinese women,black women that r not from this country cling to me like flys on s**t american black women find it hard to give a blackman credit thats why they get the worse black men out there i don’t avoid black women dammit i run from em

@ eyron…A real MAN has no problem with a women going for what she may want.

“career goals and social orientaion doesn’t match up with my lifestyle” Dear thats part of the problem. If he’s a garbage man or maybe working with kids at a communuty center is he less of a man. That sounds so materialistic and has nothing to do with learning whats inside a person. Thats what we are suspose to fall in love with, what’s inside. WE (black folks) need to love each other for who we are not what we have or can give each other. Working together for richer or poorer. LOVE is not guarantee because you got money. Love is worked on everyday like a job. Too bad so many of our people are unemployed in that department.

Firstly, catgirl… It’s impossible to hog the page. If that were the case, the internet would permanently freeze, and crash. It’s better if you learn more about computers before you give someone advice on how to use one… I choose to speak my mind, so let me speak it. Take it or leave it. Thanx. I tip my cap to Sci and Tired. That’s exactly what I’m talking about! And to Bribabe, I feel ya, but the lack of variety can possbibly hinder what you’re looking for… Which is sex. I know that ethnocentric relations is something that you’ve been psychologically exposed to, but you never know what’s around the bend (or bended ass for some ;) ). I never thought that ANY black woman would find me attractive, but I’ve found a decent amount that wouldn’t mind taking me on. That’s not to brag, but just as an example.

Choclt37man so, when you see a sister who’s in shape, no kids, talk to you with sense, then why do you go to the woman who’s dressed like a hooker? Again men are visual and it’s too late when you see that the broad is batty as hell? And as far as loud and crude, again, that’s what I see ya’ll go for. Chicks like me you adore from afar but don’t step up to us. Don’t get it.

you people are f*cking PATHETIC!

ok, lets bash each other just because of some dumb a$$ HB article….dont you all get sick of saying the same bullsh*t over and f**king over again. how about black people just f*cking come together already and stop the name calling and all that other bullsh*t…its BEEN old….

grow the f*ck up already….

Here is my take on the single issue. Basically the game has changed for both men and women. Our roles, perceptions, and aspirations toward relationships have developement exponentially with our generation. We want, require, and desire more from our expected partners due to the exposure from TV, Internet, etc. Our generation(20s and 30s) ….expect what we see on TV…not whats surrounding us. We have a since of entitlement now..”I deserve this” Therefore men want the bombshell woman while woman want among other things a man with STATUS. By status…I mean a man who has something going for himself; this could be just great looks or money or etc. This is where it gets tricky because woman claim they are single by choice …whatever? Most woman want to find that right man but in reality the pickings are slim. Just look at the statistics of it all….woman dominate men on the college level, men fall victum to wanting power early (selling drugs or robbing), and on top of all that life is harder on men. No one ever truely feels sorry for a grown ass man. These are just a few of the facts why black men are not on the same level with education and jobs as black woman. So women are looking for men but regrettably realize that most are on the oppsite end of the spectrum.

So what should we do to resolve this issue….just lighten up on our requirements. Understand that life is hard especially for black folks. So, don’t settle but be understanding of a persons situation. Remember on “Good Times” when father loss his job but the wife was supportive and they got throught it together. Its just to much selfishness in this world and not enought support and love. Once we get back to the love, we will get back to having the black family.

Because most Black men are jacka$$e$ who value quantity over quality. To prove my point check out the posts and count how many men talk about a women’s weight; not her education level, not her values, not her standards or political views, but her weight. A quality that is variable; changing as she gets older, has children, etc.

What effs me up is men saying women should lower their standards to find a mate. All the while Black men have this superfluous concept of beauty that women, if they wish to be picked, must constantly work to attain. Not to mention we have to cook and clean to you standards, $ex you to your standards all the while getting subpar treatment in return.

Then some of these silly black women feed into that foolishness and disrespect themselves and other black women by being on this competition mode. Trying to one up the next chick to get the attention. wearing next to nothing, compromising their beliefs and values just so they can get with these dudes. And Black men just eat that crap up.

I’ve given up on Black men. Their behavior is disgusting and I will not lower my standards just to have one. If a Black man can’t keep up or surpass me, then that is not the man for me. Yes, you need a car. I am not going to be the one driving us all around or picking you up or dropping you off. Find a damn ride. I am not your taxi. No you can’t live with me. Get your own spot. No you are not borrowing any money. No I am not cosigning on your loan, your brother’s loan, your cousin’s loan, or you momma’s loan. No, I will not claim your kids on my taxes cause you or your busted baby momma don’t have jobs. No, I will not hold that for you. No, I will not come visit you in jail. Don’t call my phone collect, don’t expect money for you commissary, and no I am not driving your mother up to see you. Get your sh!t together. Until then, Venga me aman, solos hombres españoles atractivos

@ BETCHAWONT: NO DARLN, her are some examples.

1) I should not have to work full-time and come home to cook and clean for my significat other when he or she is there all day and not working (it’s called a partnership and I have friend who do that for their man but F that, i’m payn the bills someone gotta take care of home, broad be tired and those kids that i teach are crazy so do something to show some appreciation, I would).

2) I wrk at burger king and you work for the State, we should spend our money wisely because we are not rich (again communication and partnership)

Here’s when the sh*t hits the fan:

1) We are both working, (BK and State situation) you do not contribute to the home. You want to trick off ya money. Hell to da naw. We are in this together, we both contribute a certain amount according to salary and the pact that we have made.

2)I work and you don’t, but I come home to an unclen home, ya homies are there all day and you playn PS3 and have the nerve to fix something only for yourself (Houston, we got a problem)

This goes for any couple. We know Sh*t happens, but when you are committed to someone, you should have their back. That is what I am talking about in regards to goals, social orientation, communication and etc. No matter what race, we all face that. NO BODY IS PERFECT BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN HIM OR HER YOU WILL HELP THEM TO GET WHERE THEY NEED TO BE. IF HE OR SHE IS NOT TRYING THEN MY FAMOUS WORDS “KICK ROCKS!”

SIMPLE

You can interpret Bible scripture to support ANYTHING THAT YOU BELIEVE, so all religious comments are invalid. People in this forum are straight-up racist, so naturally they will find a scripture that they can twist. Then run around telling other people that God said that you should not “marry outside your own.” I’m not feeling that black nationalist bullshyt either. You people are just as bad as the Aryan Brotherhood just from the opposite direction. If God is racist like you people are, I don’t want any part of His kingdom (LOL).

Black women are single because they want to be single. Today, it’s the hottest trend in the black community for sistas to be on their own and prove that they don’t need a man for anything. Women would rather be led around by Tyler Perry. They prefer that Beyonce tell them that it’s cool to be single and deny their natural feelings.

Many women will try to blame men for being single and say that there are no good men. Good brothers are out there. They are everywhere. Black women are not attracted to them. Thuggery and buffoonery attracts black women. It’s time that you women OWN IT!!

Eyron, you need to learn quickly that you can attract more bees with honey, than salt…. Insulting and assaulting men as a whole won’t get you anywhere. I’ve been encountered by beautitul black women with everything a man could want, but I had to say no. We didn’t click right. I have a unique personality, that goes against the “norms” of their cultural schemas. Black women want a “strong, black, manly, man”. I don’t think that these women understand that they’re perpetuating gender stereotypes? There’s nothing wrong with men that aren’t as masculine, or otherwise docile. As I said before, expand your palette to different genres of men (or women). As for sex…. Quit acting like it’s such a divine prospect of mankind!!!! It’s just an animal activity that helps us procreate. If black women were to “shut down the candy shop”, it would make me no never mind. It’s just sex! And that’s coming from someone that loves sex more than food…

yea just stay away from materialistic women plain & simple, & you’ll find yourself much happier

Looper, please re-read my post, there is nothing insulting about what I have said unless you fit the bill. Also read up on ya Black History.

Part of the problem is the various poisons that are placed into our generations. Today, people actually believe that they can be “just as happy by yourself, as you can be with someone else”. Pure craziness if you ask me. I am not taking for granted that there are those who have ended up in bad relationships. The fact is that we are not as relentless and decisive with our personal lives as we are with our careers. To point that out, let me suggest a short series of questions I came up with that everyone should ask themselves.

CAREER BASED:
1) What should I do in order to prepare myself to get a job with great benefits, but requires a bachelors degree?
2) Once I get the job, how long will I work before I expect my first pay check? If I don’t get it when expected, then what?
3) If I have goals of being promoted to higher position, when should I let my boss know? Should I let them know earlier or wait until my end of year review?
4) If my job wants me to work overtime, but with no additional pay, will I do it?

RELATIONSHIP BASED:
1) What should I do in order to prepare myself to be in a successful relationship which will require love, respect, patience, forgiveness, and understanding?
2) Once I am in a relationship, how long should I invest into the relationship without the other person investing in me? If the other person invests less than expected then what?
3) If my ultimate goal is to get married, when should I let my partner know? Should I let them know earlier or wait until we break up and then explain that that was the reason?
4) If the relationship is not exactly 50/50 and I seem to make more sacrifices than the other person, is that ok?

I have 6 more questions in each category. If you are curious, feel free to shoot me a note.

@SweetCaliTea~ I feel you. But at the same time, I think you have some emotional baggage that is hurting you. You may have been hurt by someone of whom you depicted in your message, but there are good men (like me) out there that are trying to do something with their lives. Ex: I’m attempting to become a world-class classical vocalist. It’s a start. At least I’m doing my part…. Keep your head up. Your day will come.

WoW, I could see this subject is very sensitive for Black Men as well as for Black Women. Reading the majority of the comments here I felt so hopeless and stressed out looking at Black people’s life in general not only from relationship aspects only.

The problems that are mentioned are not even real problems -
- Financial problems
- Lack of education
- Attitude problems
- Preference issues
- Not being considerate of others…etc…

These are just factors lead you to do what you are doing. The real problem and I call it our enemy is deeper than that, we can’t even see it. You know the say “the real enemy will never show its face” that is a true say.

If our enemy is poverty we will find a means to win that together, if our enemy is character we could learn how to make improvement on that as well, if our enemy is a preference we could bit that with finance – Ex. How many females die to date Lil wayne even though he is short?

The main thing I want to state by taking advantage of this forum is – I want to urge all black people to learn how to work together and dig deeper to find the real enemy. As a problem solver I just don’t look at the problem from the layer because by the time we realize there is a problem, the enemy has already hidden itself with so many layers. When you think you have solved the problem it always comes back. If we don’t do this we will loose and suffer for years to come financially, mentally and physically. We will loose our physical identity and we will always stay minority ruled and ran over by the majority. Black folks we need to start thinking beyond ourselves if we really want impact our community and win the battles over the issues that are tackling the black community. Being considerate of others and spending more time on thinking how to make it right for all of us instead of for individuals should be the number one step.

Other immigrants come to U.S. and struggle with the same issue, finance, identity crisis and double triple discrimination you name it. But they tend to beat that because they know how to work together.

well i can go on and on do most women really want a good men are they to buisy about what there friends will say. i thought whats in the person heart is what counts. me i believe you do things together no matter who is makin the most money stop worrying about how your friends think the man looks if he makes you happy then thats all that matter. a lot of women have this image that the thuggish looking guy sagging pants braids in there hair are the one, but when its all said and done they leave you hanging. there are so many reasons cant type them all

So many Black women call themselves Christian, but how many Black women actually FOLLOW what the Bible tells them to do in marriage, which is to SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS AS THEY WOULD UNTO GOD? There are not ONE but MANY verses in the Bible that clearly state this. Do the women in this video, who probably consider themselves Christian, look like they would submit to any man in marriage? Through rich or poor? These professional Black women have lived a life of nothing but selfishness and are surrounded by girlfriends who do the same.

The problem as I see it, is Western Culture. This is why a woman from a non-Western culture, be she Black or not, will make a better wife than the selfish-feminist-broomstick-Western witch any day. With that said, I would have to say that there are still some excellent choices for Black men out there, but just make sure the woman you choose embraces “old fashioned” non-feminist views.

If a woman is a feminist, she is no good for a wife….she maybe good as a f#ck buddy…but not as a wife.

Soccerstr raises the most important issue. We need to quit cutting each other’s throats and belittling each other. That’s why other races thrive. We as black americans have this stupid problem with having to out-do each other, and not just win but utterly obliterate the competition… Let’s work together, people.

@EYRON: I AGREE WITH YOU AND I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE MISINTERPRETED WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY. FORGIVE ME IF I AM NOT ONE SIDED, BUT I REFUSE TO COME ON HERE AND NOT PRETEND THAT BLACK WOMEN AS WELL AS BLACK MEN HAVE SOME ISSUES AS FAR AS RELATIONSHIPS ARE CONCERNED THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED. I CAN DEFEND BLACK WOMEN ALL DAY, BUT I AM NOT A HYPROCRITE TO AGREEING WITH THE GOOD BLACK MEN THAT ARE TURNED DOWN AND AWAY BY BLACK WOMEN BECAUSE OF MISCELLANEOUS REASONS SUCH AS, HE IS NOT ALL ENOUGH, OR HE DOESN’T DRIVE A FANCY CAR OR HIS INCOME IS TO LOW, WHICH IS WHY I AGREED WITH SOME OF THE BROTHERS ON HERE WHO COMMENTED THIS BEING THEIR PROBLEM’S WITH A LOT OF BLACK WOMEN. A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES A LOT OF WORK THAT BOTH SEXES HAVE TO PUT FORTH. NOTHING COMES PERFECT. SOME THINGS HAVE TO BE ACCOMPLISHED. FURTHER MORE I FEEL NO WAY ABOUT BLACK WOMEN NOR BLACK MEN BUT WE ARE BOTH TOO STUBBORN TO REALIZE OUR FAULTS AND ADJUSTMENTS IN ATTITUDES THAT NEED TO BE CHANGED.

LastManStandingTall I can see ya point. But reading and researching are two different things. Whe you read the BIble of course you are not gonna understand unless you have that type of mentality of seekin knowledge and not on the whims of what you feel and whats cool. When you have a purpose behind it, research it, you perspective will be different. Beliefs have no credibility without research and facts to prove it’s credibility. We are on different sides of the fence, but again I say do your homework and not go off ya feelings. Find a topic that interest you and dig deep, read and read everthing that you can find on the topic and make deductions. That is where personal intepretation and ones own beleifs comes into play (for eample this topic everyone is blogging on) We are speaking from our own interpretation, experiences and outlook on this subject. Some have points that people can understand because they have experienced it while others can’t understand because their beleifs (hence your outlook on the Bible) are true to them until otherwise.

SHOW2 NIGHT YOUR RIGHT, AND THAT IS MY POINT MANY MEN WILL SIMPLY GO ELSE WHERE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO WAIT AND COMMIT ( DATE, MARRY THEN ENGAGE IN ACTIVITY) WHY SHOULD THEY WHEN EVEN IF THEY FAIL TO LEARN TO READ THEY ARE STILL WANTED BY WHITE ASIAN LATINO…… WHICH GOES BACK TO MY POINT MANY OF THE MEN DONT WANT TO SETTLE DOWN. I HAVE RAN INTO SO MANY BROTHERS WHO HAVE ADMITTED TO ME THEY ONCE DID THIS OR THAT WHEN THEY WHERE YOUNGER BASICALLY LOST OUT ON A GOOD PARTNER BUT NOW AT THE AGE OF 45 WHEN THEY LOOK UP AND SEE THEY ARE ALONE THEY WANT TO SETTLE. HELL WHEN I WORKEDD IN HEALTHCARE I RAN INTO MANY BROTHERS AGE 50 ON UP WHO HAD NEVER MARRIED CAUSE BASICALLY ALL THEY EVER DID WAS LAY UP AND HO ALL THEIR YOUNG LIFE NEVER WANTED TO SETTLE WITH ONE WOMAN UNTILL THEY GOT SICK AND SAW THEY WERE ALONE AND HAD NO ONE THERE TO LOOK OUT FOR THEM AT HOME.

Eyron b***h go sit your ass down.hoe you just need some good dick.

Actually Eyron, you said that “all men are visual”. I take offense to that, and any self-respecting man would…. It’s not your place to generalize a people, gender, etc. It makes you look pompous. Not to insult you.. but seriously… Think it over. I got nothing but love for ya, k? Let’s be good to each other.

@ Summer_So_Fine, I agree with you with you. Men look at the physical and women the material, so sad.

SOME OF YALL HOES ARE A TRIP.

lol @ anjuan34, hit home didn’t it but at least you understand.
@ looper, I know it’s harsh but yeah.

Plus, I’m very adept in black history. It’s one of my favorite subjects. But a bit of advice to anyone on here. Don’t try to challenge a nerd to recalling information. You’ll never win.

EYRON YOU JUST NEED TO BE F**KED REALLY GOOD .ATL BABY!YOU DIG

WHAT KINDA WOMANN WOULD TURN A BR0THER AWAY BECAUSE HE DONT DRIVE A FANCY CAR WITH RIMS.
AN IGNORANT ONE
iF ANY OF YOU MEN ARE RUNNING BEHIND WOMEN THAT SUPERFICAL I DONT FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.
CAUSE THATS A HOODRAT MANTALITY.
A SMART WOMAN KNOWS A MAN WITH A CAR THAT IS PAID FOR HAS MORE MONEY TO DO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS WITH LIKE SAVE FOR RETIREMENT, INVEST OR HIRE A HOUSE KEEPER FOR HE DAYS HE WANTS YOU TO BE WELL RESTED FOR OTHER THINGS………LOL

Anjuan, cut it out. You and others like you are the reason we look bad in the first place!! Looks like you need some “good maturity” in your life… Grow up.

looper 13.
all men are visual whoever said it before is right. men go not for the ulgy car or the ugly woman but for the sweet car and attractive woman. take a class in evolution

summer so fine:

you said a lot of stuff that just doesnt make sense.

black women are not the ‘only women who made the ultimate sacrifice’. they nearly wiped out the native american (and that includes women) and they’ve been killing off jews all over the world for HUNDREDS of years.

willie lynch speech NEVER OCCURRED. that’s an urban myth that was created in the mid-90s. no historical reference to it BEFORE that time.

where do you get the ‘black men kiss the ground white women walk on’ stuff from? have you ever SEEN this in action? of course you haven’t?

yeah, racism exists, and i can agree, if a black man (OR WOMAN) sells dope, they deserve what they get.

but too many black folks in america are successful, and too many AFRICANS come to the u.s. and canada and succeed to blame all of it on racism.

its INDIVIDUAL fucc ups that land our poor and ignorant class on welfare and in prison. too many black males fuccing too many black females (can’t call them ‘men’ or ‘women’ because that term implies ‘adulthood’ and ‘maturity’) without protection, creating another generation of moron that will do what their ‘parents’ did.

that aint just the black man’s or black woman’s fault..it’s the INDIVIDUAL participants fault equally.

this back door ‘blame the white woman’ stuff just doesnt make sense. like it or not, more white women are willing to marry black men than white men are willing to marry black women. that’s life.

@TRUTHBLAZER: AS FAR AS FOLLOWING THE BIBLE, BLACK MEN HAVE TO BE WILLING TO READ BELIEVE AND FOLLOW WHAT THE BIBLES SAYS AS WELL. PEOPLE JUST DON’T GET IT. THIS IS NOT A ONE SEX SITUATION BUT IT IS A PROBLEM OVER ALL AS A PEOPLE FOR BOTH BLACK WOMEN AND MEN. LET’S NOT GET INTO THE BIBLE, UNTIL YOU CAN SHOW ME ONE PERSON THAT IS ACTUALLY LIVING UP TO IT TO THE FULLEST. SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM IS TO JUST PRAY AND BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL SEND YOU THE MATE THAT IS INTENDED FOR YOU. PUT OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND GOD’S HAND AND LEAVE IT. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT WHAT WE DON’T DO OR HOW WE DON’T SATISFY EACH OTHER AND LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER. TO KNOW A PERSON IS TO LOVE THEM. IF WE STOP TAKING THINGS ALWAYS INTO A NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE AND FIND SOME POSITIVE MEANINGS OUT OF A SITUATION, MAYBE WE CAN ACCOMPLISH MORE IN LIFE.

i don’t know why ya’ll feel black women want money most black women i see wit men the man is living off her she be working and he’s not eating her food ect. i feel black women values r low as well as there self-esteem black women r insecure and believe that black men wit money don’t treat them right black women try to get over if you got alot of money she wants u to be push over and or sucka if u broke then she wants u to be the manly man the guy all the girls want u a can’t be both and be all that cause black womens security level isn’t that high from my experience and if u all that its going to be argueing because she needs to make u feel like bad about yourself in other words tear u apart to feel good about herself

“Looper13
12-30-2009 11:29 am
Actually Eyron, you said that “all men are visual”. I take offense to that, and any self-respecting man would…. It’s not your place to generalize a people, gender, etc. It makes you look pompous. Not to insult you.. but seriously… Think it over. I got nothing but love for ya, k? Let’s be good to each other.”

looper, you can take offense, but he’s right: men are visual.

how about this: men, as a group, TEND to be ‘more visual’. and women, as a group, TEND to be ‘more’ interested in a man’s height (a sign of wealth) and his wealth/wealth potential.

this is not some made up shyt…this goes back to social science and psychology.

again, if you claim a woman’s looks don’t interest you, so be it. most men, however, will admit that no matter how nice, ‘successful’, funny, engaging, etc., a woman is, if she is not attractive TO HIM, he’ll move on to a woman that has all those attributes PLUS good looks.

Darling I am from Belvedere (neighborhood behind where Jazzy T’s and Pool palace use to be, went to Avondale High, Open Campus and Greenforest Academy (yes I was a bad ass that’s why i became a teacher to guide this generation) Came to TX for my education. I already know what it is. So stop with the vulgarity darln, tryn to be nice (hence back to all my post I made) don’t
prove it darln.

WHy is it considered settling for a Black women to be with a man that make less?

Thats a slap in Black mens face. If thats the case Black men have been settling for years. Weve carried black women for decades when they were not able to get the better paying jobs.

Black women have allowed white people to create division among us. They want what the white women has in their eyes. And this deception is going to do nothing more than continue the internal struggle we have with each other.

Sister are passing up quality men, who make 50k, but are good father and husbands, for a baller who makes 100k, but will cheat and be abusive.

Shame on a black women for choosing success and money, over a quality father for your children.

sweetcalitea, you said:

“Because most Black men are jacka$$e$ who value quantity over quality. To prove my point check out the posts and count how many men talk about a women’s weight; not her education level, not her values, not her standards or political views, but her weight. A quality that is variable; changing as she gets older, has children, etc. ”

lol…its because men don’t like fat azzes. hell, do you like shorter men. didn’t say would you ACCEPT shorter men. DO YOU LIKE SHORTER MEN? yes or no?

of course you don’t. height, to women, is AN ‘indicator’ of wealth/wealth potential, since taller men, on average, make more money.

men TEND to be more visual…always have, always will. this doesnt mean the ONLY thing. it means that if a woman doesnt ‘look good’ to a man, who cares about the rest of her qualities? he can get a good looking woman that is educated, has similar political views, etc. why be stuck with a fatty or ugly when he can have the whole package?

and that gets to the root of what WOMEN tend to like: affluence/affluence potential in men. WOMEN care more about a man’s affluence and LESS about his looks. this, again, is something women TEND to seek, always have and always will.

this does NOT means she’ll take an ugly muthufucca who’s a midget as long as he has money. if SHE is a desireable woman, she can pick and choose the men she wants.

maybe not fair to the fat chick or the short guy with no money, but hey, so what? people that can choose don’t care, and don’t need to care.

apparently spanish, indian, asian, white women have good hair. Black men love that straight hair that those women have. so they choose those types of women.

We all say blk women have bad hair and dont wanna bring her home to mom because we think our parents are gonna judge us. ( couldnt u have done better)

also black skin color or anything black is always associated with malice, evil, demons, and any color that deviates from black is often seen as beeing pure and good… like angles. Ull never see an angel in black clothes.
We as a society internalize this color MISrepresentation and choose races other than black.

also since there are few black men left. its easy to play the field because we know there are few of us but alot of u. ni99as are smart.

Black women its hard talking to yall. If the guy isnt 6. ft and drives a nice car u not trying to talk to him.

ok bring the heaT. u can email me anything on ur min as i have personally email Cali femme23 and told her her business.

@Smackusilly~ I can agree with your opinion on motives, but she STILL has no authority to brazenly down most men. It’s like saying we have no will power, you know? I love being a visual person, but I before have been attracted to women for their minds and nothing else. It’s possible. Especially, for someone like me who is more sexually driven. It’s all about who you find, and what you want in any kind of relationship with that person.

Good point @terren2001. I’m with you a hundred on the willie lynch syndrome destroying the black family.

looper13 f**k nigga like you die all the time atlanta. mind ur hoe.

looper ur a moron.

Aye, You all need to go to youtube and Listen to ESG, called Worry Bout YoSelf, (luv ESG and Z-Ro) Great rappers with messages that the crackers don’t want you to hear. They on that Goodie MOb and Outkast tip back in ’90- ’96 when the music was good but yeah, im fina go to lunch. Wll continue cause ya’ll are interesting. Too bad my break will be over next monday and won’t be able to blog as much, back to the kiddos.

@smack_u_silly: I am aware that black women are not the only ones who made sacrifices and i never said otherwise. I was focused on the discussion and the topic at hand. As far as Willie Lynch? where did that come from? I think you either confused my post with somebody else’s or you became overly offended by my post and didn’t read my comment with an open mind. We can go back and forth all day about the history of women AND men, but at the end of the day, are we willing to take our history into consideration and reap what we learn to try to make a better tomorrow? Is it possible that our communities will have stronger African American couples/relationships? As far as history and the Native Americans are concerned that includes you, me, all of us because we all have some type of Native, or other ethnic mixed in our roots. I NEVER SAID NOTHING ABOUT BLACK MEN KISS THE GROUND WHITE WOMEN WALK ON. YOU ARE CONFUSING THE HELL OUT OF ME

UM I THINK WE HAVE THE GOOD HAIR CHARLIE . OUR HAIR IS NOT DEAD AND IT DOES NOT HANG DOWN LIKE A DOGS. IN FACT ITS LIKE THE NUMBER 9 THAT CURL PATTERN AND ITS GROWING UP TOWARDS THE SKY ITS OUR ENERGY. ITS OUR STRENGTH BUT WILLIE LYNCH IS A MUTHA AND SO SELF HATE CONTINUES TO LURE US AWAY FROM WHAT WE SHOULD LOVE AND NOT HATE.

Oh yeah, lotta bang, lotta bang, peace out

Relationships are NOT for developing wealth!!! It’s not for pragmatic planning that puts money in your pocket!! Immature humans think that way. It’s a one-track way of thinking, and it’s putting us in financial debt… Give it a rest. Money is not everything.

And the song is spelled exactly as i posted, not a typo

But LIVING is. Just be happy that you’re alive.

catgirl…. how many af american man do u think think about women’s hair reaching for the sky when deciding which girl they gonna pick.

On Evolutionary basis men see long hair they think of health and long life…. so they chose those women (to plant their seeds) with long hair with the false asumption of those women will be great mothers and have long lives.

Also answer me this, if black women are soo proud of their hair why wear extensions…. hmmm anwer that one…. please. im gonna sit here and wait.
educate me….

i mean extensions and weaves

It’s on my page ya’ll please check it out.

@charlie and anjuan….. Really??? Y’all actually have me laughing. Get on my level, and then we’ll talk. But until then, don’t talk to grown men like you think you have an edge. I’m 100 times the human y’all could NEVER fathom to be. And I’ve been to ATL. Looks like a nice place to live. So… Your intimidation tactics are bulls**t. Grow a pair, eh?

I love black women. I think they are the most beautiful women in the world. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I want a Godly black woman though. That’s whats most important to men. A saved, christian, black woman.

@CHARLE007: LOL ….So would you date a darked skinned sister who does not have that straight hair that you admitted to saying that “apparently spanish, indian, asian, white women have good hair. Black men love that straight hair that those women have. so they choose those types of women” I MEAN WHAT THE F__ IS HAIR? Hell, i have done weaves, short cuts, curles, straightening combs, perms, you name it and I am still me. Dam the hair. Do you realize you have men walking around here pretending to be women that go and have ALL that done? My point basically is it doesn’t matter. How can one be ashamed to bring a DARK woman home with “NAPPY” hair and i quoted it because it is all societies way of brain washing us to think we are lesser than the other, because of stupid GD hair and skin color? Is that what it balls down too? Is this the standards of the “BLACK MAN” PLEASE SOMEBODY LET ME KNOW.

Did anyone notice that since the mid 80′s, most relationships between black women and black men have turned increasingly hostile and antagonistic? In our music, our films, our television shows, we as a people have turned very war-like on each other. If it’s not men using women as sex toys, it’s women scheming to get a man’s money. We have become a race of “emotional chess players”. It’s no longer “what can WE DO TOGETHER”. It’s, “What can I get from you, before you take something from me”. Can I “checkmate” you, before you “checkmate” me. Then most of today’s popular black music tell the “suit & tie” black men that they are nerds and squares. If you’re not a “hood nicca”, then you’re not good enough for a black woman. And the men are no better. They want a female who can “work the pole”, but then they want to treat her like a hoe. PLEASE NOTE: YOU CANNOT MAKE A HOE A HOUSEWIFE, AND YOU CANNOT MAKE A HOODLUM A HUSBAND!!!! The sad truth is that new black marriages, between educated black men and women are slowly, but surely becoming extinct. And this will continue because we as a people allow rap videos, black-ploitation TV shows and superficial expectations of what life truly is about to control our actions overall, but especially our dating and relationship skills. What I think will happen, is that in the future, finding a African American, who can trace his\her pure black heritage back to slavery will be very rare and unusual. Too many black men are dug into their positions and black women are dug into theirs. IF, we as people stop fighting with each other, we might be able save black marriages.

Summer, keep educating the infidels! **PSA for all straight men**: I love women for women. I don’t discriminate, I participate. How bout you?

LOOPER13 MAN GO F**K YOUR SELF.B***H BOY AND MIND UR BUSINESS.

VJAMEK….true words of wisdom.

Black relationships are to combatant/competitive….I guess we learned cut-throatness from being around white people so long (lol…j/k….I think).

But the reality is the majority of Black people want the same things/entities as whites…not fully realizing that whites live a certain ways due to historical advantages. For example: the average white male has the ability to find a secure job and purchase a house before the age of 35, thus leading to greater opportunities for him finding a spouse/mother to his children. This is often not the reality for Black males….we gotta learn to survive before we think about surviving. Black women see this, but they dont quite understand the full extent of white supremacy in America (many Black males dont either)

With all that said…Black sistren, try to be more understanding and empathetic to Black brethren. No….we cant always present ourselves as Prince Charming (like white boys do) but alot of us are struggling to create a better reality for the women around us.

p.s….sistas stop opening your legs for idiots who you know you have no long-term relationship with.

Did any see the bias in the video?

It said if you eliminate the Black men in jail, unemployed, that it would only leave a certain amount of Black men available to pop the question.

In turn, why didnt they eliminate the sisters on welfare?
The sisters with 3+ kids?
The sisters who are not desrieable?
The sisters who ahve been to jail?
The sisters who refuse to work?
The sisters with no high school diploma?

Lets get the numbers, once we eliminate the underseriable Black women, most successful balck men probably are unlikely to marry.

@VJAMESK: HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FOR YOU! I AM GLAD SOMEBODY BROUGHT THIS TO THE TABLE. YOU CAN’T MAKE NOTHING OUT OF NOBODY THAT DOESN’T WANT TO BECOME, FOR THEMSELVES. I realize after reading, listening and watching all this black on black relationship conflict forums and shows that bottom line, everybody just want to have their way. We make excuses for nonsense and we want the good things in life for the wrong dam reasons. It’s bad enough we have to deal with the many issues of African American culture in this society such as labor force, education, etc… after all we’ve been through as a people, if we can’t get along as a people what else is left for us? I stand affirmed that “UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL”. If you take a look around, basically this is what is happening. I am going to lunch. I need some fresh air. I love you all no matter what. “THINGS DO NOT CHANGE, WE CANGE”(HENRY DAVID)

VJamek! Do ya thing!! Thank you for scoring one for the strong and intelligent black men out here. And as for Anjuan… You already put your business on here, so you already screwed up. “When a man calls you a fool, do not answer, unless you wish to prove him right”. Guess who the fool is? You=fool. There ya go. I’m out.

C’mon Looper13. Relax, it’s just a question and response type thing. No need to get bent out of shape. I agree with charle007. Why put yourself in ‘false’ shoes? I’m willing to bet that one reason many sistas are still single, is because men now days want a girl who’s real. It disappoints me to see so many ladies now days walking around looking like someone that they’re not, such as hair weave, fake nails, and other material things that they KNOW darn well they can’t afford. Men can see straight through all that, and sadly, that spells trouble in a lot of their minds. It makes no sense to go through all that trouble to maintain a false image of yourself, and then complain that all men are dogs. No, the ones THEY hook up with are dogs. Not all men are that way. They are looking for someone who’s real, down to earth, and is a God fearing woman. That is where so many sistas don’t have their marbles straight.

On the other hand, there are men who are also intimidated by a sista who uses her brain, instead of her good looks. An educated woman can be scary to a guy, especially one who was not as fortunate as her. Not enough black men are on the same level with black women when it comes to furthering education, and that is a serious problem. Black women are deciding that they no longer want to settle for just anyone. They want someone who has something positive to add to the relationship. Why get with someone who will just bring pain and heart ache into the relationship? That is why many are still single. They don’t want to settle for less.

Shout out to anjuan34 for going on my page to only send me a note calling me an ugly b*tch. Dude, were my post that bad? I rather you insult me on here than going on my page. Please put them gilded golds in ya mouth to some use and eat a d*ck homie.

“Looper13
12-30-2009 11:51 am
@Smackusilly~ I can agree with your opinion on motives, but she STILL has no authority to brazenly down most men.”

looper, i didnt read the REST of what she said, only that part you quoted/paraphrased about the MOTIVES of people in seeking a mate. let me specify…on THAT she was correct.

and its not ‘opinion’, its studied fact.

” It’s like saying we have no will power, you know? I love being a visual person, but I before have been attracted to women for their minds and nothing else.”

and that’s okay…but you’re not in the majority. the ‘majority’ of men go for looks FIRST and THEN the ‘other stuff’. a ‘mature man’ wont go JUST FOR LOOKS, but looks are important.

” It’s possible. Especially, for someone like me who is more sexually driven. It’s all about who you find, and what you want in any kind of relationship with that person.”

well, they say the true sex is in the mind. but even for that, i know i couldnt get with/date/marry a woman i found physically unattractive. and, in my PERSONAL TASTE, she had to have great legs, which included great calfs (nice thighs and skinny calfs = hell no to me). yeah, she had to be educated, nice personality, etc. but none of that mattered to me if she was ugly and had skinny legs (or for that matter, cottage cheese on her thighs).

for me, i’ve always been able to GET the kind of woman i wanted; thus i was able to MARRY a woman that had all the things i wanted.

In a 100 years who’s gonna care? If something or someone decided they wanted to blow up this planet today or tomorrow, none of this would even matter anymore!!

married white man for 17 years!! i just think black men want black barbies!! fake types,something on there arms for a minute then they move on to the next sistas,the real ones get past over!! for the fake types,white man being married to one for so long 4 kids,best schools, many homes, cars, business we built, the black men to busy chasing the wrong women, playing,35, 40 years old still trying to be 18 confused running around, never man up, putting babies all over the globe, leaving there women pregnant, ect…. i stayed with my man ,built a great business finished 2 degrees ect… didnt find a good black man to marry, they just want to fight,wont stand by you, jealous if you earn more money!! mad all the time.

@Charle007, My brother; sisters wear weaves for different reason, wearing weaves have dated way back into our ancient African history, it is a sense of style & fashion and comfort, something of manageability also. In addition, there are many black women with long straight hair and all other types from the African Diasopra brother. Don’t beat the sisters down for their eccentric styles because then they could address us brothers always flossing jewerly yet broke or uneducated…..ya know. Eazy

no one still didnt answer… If black women are so proud of their hair, then why do they wear extensions and get weaves. Why not make it natural… why straighten it.. why make it look liek the enemy’s hair. and by enemy i mean long hair women.
And dont no one answer back and say blk women wanna wear it cause its stylish.

and to looper..u dont kno what ur taking about.
Summer….. mayb u can help me. why black women wear weaves??

@smackusilly~ Studied fact by whom? Sigmund Freud? Firstly, the mind is not just some useless sponge just soaking up contingent information to be used by the subconcious… If one wants to change who/what they’re attracted to, they can if they want to enough. If not, then every person that has/had sexual deviations deemed to be destructive to mankind would NEVER be able to be reformed… But it happens everyday. See, you look at this particular situation as a simple psychology report. This deals with different levels that also delve into sexual psychology. I don’t think that you have enough information to justify your stand. If you have more “info”, please indulge me. Otherwise, let it go, because I’m sure that you probably have something better to be doing. I know I do. Peace.

vjames, you can go back 15 or so years, and see the ‘not enough good black men’ as an excuse used by black women in the media, particularly BLACK media.

oprah, essence and ebony/jet (which has had a black woman dominated editorial board since johnson’s daughter took over) have all hammered in the myth that there’s allegedly a bumper crop of ‘good black women’ and a shortage of ‘good black men’ for them. allegedly, this is why these ‘good black women’ dont have a man.

they leave out the possibility that these women can simply get a great white or asian guy, OR, laughably, use this as some sort of ‘threat’ to straighten out the alleged non-existant ‘good black man’.

as the internet evened things out, many black men have ‘fought back’. the ‘media’ is no longer in the hands of ‘bitter black women’ alone…now ‘bitter black men’ can talk similar shyt.

either way, anyone that complains about a ‘shortage’ of good black opposite sex is full of shyt. the best black folks, like the best white/asian/hispanic folks, don’t need to complain. they GET the best of their race first, and then the best of any other race.

Charle007, My brother; sisters wear weaves for different reason, wearing weaves have dated way back into our ancient African history, it is a sense of style & fashion and comfort, something of manageability .

No black women wear weaves not cause they wanna identify with af history but because they want to be more like women with long hair.
Ur reasons for wearing weaves are 1) style + fashion
2) Managibility
First of all its more easy to manage ur hair without a weave.
2nd > fashion and style> black women are just trying to identify with the pop culture. whatever u see in magazine. I hav never seen a “nappy” haired girl in any type of billboard, tv comercial, any type of broad spectrum media.

@charle007

Where did you read that having long hair is associated with health and long life??? That must be your opinion. Having long hair or short doesn’t change the attraction I have for a woman. I think some women look better with long hair and some vice versa.

@sooooodamsexy, So then continue to live happily ever after with your White partner, plainly said. You know this is BP, a site that is full of Black men, not white, so with that said it ain’t right” you are on this site, remember ” if it ain’t white it ain’t right” Smiling.

THIS IS A MONEY SOCIETY. MAJORITY OF BLACK MEN WITH MONEY WILL HELP A BROKE BLACK WOMAN GET ON HER FEET. MAJORITY OF BLACK WOMEN WITH MONEY WOULD NOT HELP A BROKE BLACK MAN GET ON HIS FEET UNLESS THEY ARE INVOLVED. UNDER 10% OF BLACK MEN IN THE U.S.A. REALLY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. THE REST LIVE IN POVERTY NOT BY CHOICE. ALMOST ALL THE BOSSES THAT ARE MEN LIKE TO SURROUND THEMSELVES WITH A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN. MAJORITY OF THE BLACK WOMEN THAT ARE VERY DARK HAVE IT HARDER THAN THEIR LIGHTER COUNTER PART. IF YOU’RE A NICE LOOKING BLACK WOMAN LIVING IN A MONEY SOCIETY YOU DON’T REALLY NEED A HUSBAND. THERE ARE ABOUT 2 BILLION OR MORE WHITE PEOPLE IN THE U.S.A. AND UNDER 1 BILLION BLACK PEOPLE COUNTING HISPANICS AND OTHER RACES TOGETHER. IT’S OBVIOUS WHO HAS THE MONEY UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE LUCKY FINE WOMEN. OF COURSE YOU HAVE A SPRINKLE FEW THAT ARE NOT AS FINE BUT HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. MOST BLACK PEOPLE WITH MONEY ARE ENTERTAINERS OR WAS A ONE POINT. A FEW ARE SELF MADE MILLIONAIRES. ANOTHER THING, WHERE ARE THE VERY DARK SKINNED WOMEN OR WOMAN IN THIS VIDEO?

looper, its a studied fact by any social scientist and psychologist. hell, if you want a black one, how about dr. alvin pouissant?

you say here:

“If one wants to change who/what they’re attracted to, they can if they want to enough. If not, then every person that has/had sexual deviations deemed to be destructive to mankind would NEVER be able to be reformed…”

1) why would anyone WANT to change what they’re attracted to, if they can GET what they want.

i’m 6’3, a fit 200 pounds, mba, ex-army officer, rumored to be handsome to women. i’ve always been able to get what i want in a woman. as such, there was NO REASON for me to change my tastes in women.

this is how people are…we do what we are REWARDED for, and don’t do what we’re not rewarded or punished for. its psychology 101. ‘reinforcement’.

i’ve had my tastes in women REINFORCED over the decades by getting what i want.

2) what person do you know that has been TRULY ‘reformed’ from their ‘sexual deviation’? most police and psychologists say that a pedophile will always want a child – they may not ACT on it, but the urge/desire is still there.

same with a rapist.

and i BET they want to change (at least some of them) because what they do is ILLEGAL.

my wanting a woman with a nice shape, not fat, not ugly, one that has a degree and a nice job, non-kinky hair, great personality, etc., is NOT illegal…again, i’m not DISCOURAGED from wanting what i want.

@soooooooodamsexy why all the fat women saying black men complain about weight i mean damn u ain’t have to blow up like that u wasn’t like that when i meet you shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit you can get yo fat ass out of my house

It’s simple…men want relationships (someone who can be “one of the boys” as well as a woman), while women want “romance” (Tyler Perry or Zane fantasies).

@ VJAMESK…The sad part about it all is that this is all orchestrated and well planned. The extinction of black love and family. People are so blinded physically and spiritually that they cannot see it no matter how blatant it is; this has got to stop!!!!!!!! Sisters please stand strong against all the negative media and posts like this stupid post; be more patient and understandin with your man if you have a decent one and work together side by side in order to make it; dont turn on each other!!!! Dont give up on the black man; sisters for when we do that will be the end of our race!!!!!!!!!!!! My opinion is that just as we come to the brink; we will see the light be saved by the CREATOR OF ALL!!!!!!!!!

All of the dumb comments notwithstanding, the true reason why so many black women are still single is the combination of the media and agitation propaganda mixed with the young uneducated and impressionable minds of the black youth coupled with the generation gap. Allow me to explain. There are so many destructive and inaccurate images of black women and men on the screens, the internet and across the airwaves that black men set unrealistic expectations on black women and vice-versa. When all that you see as a black man is our beautiful sisters being paraded around like hoes to music made about them in the bedroom or in the club and nothing else, then as a young man you get a false image of what black women want and need, if you even care at all. Being that the ones who are singing these songs and portraying these roles are people that you look up to as a black youth, you in effect seek to emulate that image for it is your belief that it is what black women want and who they are. The other end of that however is that most blacks who live in poorer lower class neighborhoods look at these same images and hear these songs and see these images and believe that the “baller” is the only thing that black women deem attractive. Someone who can throw money around like water that more often than not is being earned through extraneous means or it is at least being perpetrated as if it is. So what then do most young black men seek to do? Become what they see. Which let’s face it, more often than not, the young impressionable uneducated mind is not in college, does not seek to go to college, and at least knows that the finer things that he seeks can’t be made in the short-term from working a nine to five. So what does he do, he hits the streets. And once he hits the streets, he is destined for only two places, the pen, or the grave. Once that happens, the percentage of black men that are not on the streets are separated into two groups. Straight, and gay/undercover. The gay black men, whose numbers have skyrocketed in the past 5 years are completely off the market, while many straight black men who do not fit the stereotypical “successful black male” blueprint are overlooked for the ones that do. Let us not forget that the 1.8 million more women than men in America, many of whom are more successful than their male counterparts are a threat to the male ego. So where most black men are looking for more docile and submissive females which are a dime-a-dozen in other races but are increasingly harder to come by in the black race, we end up where we are. There are so many more minute intangibles that make up the facts that I have outlined. If you would like further explanation please send me a note. Peace and God bless.

adon from streetfighter.
long hair is often equated with long life. its an untrue miconception of men in general.

man i be at the club sometimes and i tel ya black women ain’t never gone find somebody to marry if they keep trying to feel that glass up get a job b***h and buy yo own damn drink lmao

This is a very complicated and sensitive topic, so before I read any comments I’m going to give my opinion. I feel that there are many eligible good black men out here for the sisters that are “marriage material”. However, I do realize that the pool of EGBM is smaller than the pool of SAW (single attractive women) but I also mentioned “marriage material” and not all successful SAW are MM, but that’s another topic. I think that most successful SAW have too many items on their checklist that they feel “define” what a EGBM is. Ladies traditionally men made more than the women, today women can make as much if not more than a lot of guys but did this issue keep our father’s and great grandfathers from choosing what they felt was a good woman? So many women today define how good a man is by his income, his title or what he wears to work. If a SAW is making 100k or 150k, does it mean that if she meets a guy working in private industry the government or a blue collar worker making 60k-80k or 100k when she’s making 150k, is he not a good man? Does the level of education mean that he’s not her intellectual equal or he’s not smart? These are some of the things that us brothas are witnessing on a regular basis but we still hear that there are no EGBM. Personally I tear the whole stereotype about education, income and intelligence to shreds. I attended college but I didn’t finish, I made well over 100k last year and I don’t wear a Brooks Brother suit to work and I can discuss politics, education, economics and world affairs with anybody and can do this at the Congressional Black Caucus or on the street talking smack with Mookie on the corner. But many successful SAW will not even say hi when I politely speak to them in public.

That is ashame, All of those women are fine. I have hooked two single black women up with single attractive men in long term relationships. The key is to think outside the box or do something that other people don’t do. Make friends with other races of people of the opposite sex.

here’s a known fact that most “black” men have maybe forgotten. if you knew this already then cool. one main problem with us guys and it’s mostly younger guys who perpetuate this thats why most of us don’t get the science of the woman right until are much older men. fellas, your being too thirsty for ass. let me school ya for a minute. it does’nt matter how much the women advise each other to “shut it down (meaning the P.u.ssy)” women can only play this power card with guys who don’t know their purpose in a womans life. you have to understand that your the part of our species with the appendage between YOUR legs. YOUR the giver. not her. have’nt you noticed when you see commercials about male performance and when you go to sex shops and things like that, most of the products are stated to be for HER pleasure? lets say you find a woman who “shuts it down” from you, then she decides to open up and let you in. notice how much more pleasure she gets from it (assuming you know what your doing) than you? she made you believe that she was doing YOU a favor and it was easy because you can not get passed your own simple ejaculation. fellas, womens’ sexual sensations far exceed ours by light years and they crave it mountain peaks more than we do. there are things about a womans sexuality that we have yet to tap into and in this lifetime probably will not. stop chasing women! if you chase status instead, the higher your status as a man, the better quality of women that will CHASE YOU. most of this power trippin our women are doing these days are to ward off bullcrap men. men who are looking for mothers instead of women. and can you blame them? do you see your mother remarrying to a man like jodey was on baby boy? our women are starving for “black” men that’s why they are talking about it so much. but the “black” man is weak with no financial, social, economic status. among other things. loud, obnoxious, diva/dyke, i don’t need a man attitude is just a front. when real men become strong all that vanishes and she is ready to be lead. when real men show up amongst a group of women operating in that illusion, they can sense his realness and power. some of them feel him so much that they may even c** in their clothes. the woman is only hard to understand when you don’t understand yourself and are not taking your place as a man. one more thing i want to say. 1 stop chasing women. 2 build relationships with “black” men who either have or are striving for status and better things. 3 learn how to be both the good guy and the bad guy because really, women can not make a conscience decision which she really wants. and when i say bad guy, i don’t mean a blithering idiot out in the streets. thats for nigg.er.s. 4 build your status using education, training, and business. get a job, stick to it and be wise with your money because it’s not about how much you make, it’s what you keep. 5 do not let a woman steal your independence from you. don’t drive her car, don’t have her co-sign stuff for you, don’t live with her in her home. do these things for yourself. and don’t take no crap off of them either. not saying be a creep to them, do all things the way god would do them and just be wise. peace.

How many of you actually watched the video clip? The focus is on the 42% of women that are single, not married. A lot of men are acting like it is really simple to get to that stage. Look at the women in the video. How many of you men can honestly say you would meet their qualifications? Yea you might have tons of money, your own home, no kids, cars, but then attraction enters the equation. Are the women physically attracted to you? Do you have chemistry with the woman? If you don’t even have the initial chemistry and attraction then don’t complain later about a woman’s qualifications being too high because it wasn’t going to work to begin with. In my opinion I think it is wonderful Black women are staying single instead of settling for something less. Is having a job, a place, a car, respect, in addition to having chemistry and being attractive too much to ask for? I don’t blame women for not wanting to raise a family with men who don’t have their stuff together. Jumping into relationships and marriages only to end in quick breakups and divorces is quite troublesome. Think about it. Both Black men and women need to be picky.

summer-so-fine-not bringing a dark skinned woman home might be the standard in some commnities. that is not the case in a lot of midwestern and southern communities

Its not about just one gender…lol! Its about both genders, putting in 100% all da time! Step ur game up, read da BIBLE, it clearly tells u about ur yoke being uneven. This is not a one way street! The problem with black people is: We don’t do anything religiously anymore. Instead of meeting ur wife in church, we meet her in a bite club, same goes 4 da ladies, then we complain about them, when it doesn’t work out. Hmmmm

i met a woman who said she got out of her relationship because she found out the man she was seeing lied to her and was married. she ended up leaving me to back to him and and he is still married. so, go figure…

@anubis

I saw the video, and the same applies to them. THeir are plenty of Black athletes who wouldnt want those women.

SO the men with moeny exist, they might not want them. Those women were B list women in the looks category.

Successful Black men can get a women with their money and A list looks and body.

SO the issue might not be they cant get a successful man, the successful man migt not be interested, because his options are endless.

Their are plenty of Black men who meet their requirements. The question is, do they meet the requirements of the Black men, that meets theirs?

i feel u blew black women don’t f**k wit me like that neither i think they got a problem cause white women love me so do all other non black women i dress like the so called thug but i be looking nice i mean i won’t wear a white t but a t that cost me atleast 50 dollars i mean i dress well and believe me black women be f**king men that ain’t hittin on half of what i am so i said f**k it i noticed that white women damn near trip over they feet to get my attention so thats what i deal with and all other races besides black women they act like u should worship the ground they walk unlike other races of women who worship are’s and will hit on u appose to black women who ignore the beauty of a black man cause she to into her own the fact is black woman lossing the battle nobody wants em from my past history i know i don’t i wanna feel good about myself and white women good for that tired of typeing

Will. I have seen, what other does wrote. But to me, I came up here just to make one single point? And that I know may be my final word on this. Too many single women do really no what they want. And there life is very unpleasant over men. And the so much believes on their self then clef to men. As in being there life partner. And with this no man will ever no when they are into serous relationship. But to me I have not seen whom I love.

Thanks and have a nice day.

@Dorain

these women dont care about that story. They beleive all Black women with success, are single not because theyve made any bad choices, but becasue their is no good men.

They are taking those statistics and not accounting for the successful Black women who arent married because they man foudn out they were hoeing. Or the man who found out she wasnt a good person to be around.

Women wont consider these things.

WOmen seem to think that success makes you a good person. These women can have other poor qualities that are less than desireable to successful men.

ALl the men in my family are successful. Especially the older ones, and they are all ministers and businessmen.

Now they didnt marry women who made what they made, but they married good women and are happy.

anubis u sound like a fool black women always try to make them selves seem superior to men hell i know i’m fine black women treat me bad hell i got money talent to black women try to discourage black men thats the white wome takeing all yo men hoe i don’t believe i’m just attractive all other races of women and not to black women when i walk into a room it’s all eyes on me baby that white women thats on my arm gone hurt yo feelings cause i’m good loking black women to insecure to admitte or act like it or treat me like it

Bleweyez, you make some very valid points regarding the pool of eligible black men who are marraige material being smaller, etc. What is considered to be marriage material to one person, is different for another. The same holds true for education, intellect, etc. As you pointed out, just because a black man does not hold a degree and may be a blue-collar worker does not make him unintelligent or un-desirable; however, studies have shown that people who have the same education level, earn relatively the same income, financial management style, and share other characteristics GENERALLY have more successful relationships. The same is true with the intangible characteristics such as relgious beliefs, child-rearing style, disposition/personality, communication style, etc.

I myself am friends with a man who is an assembly line worker for an auto manufacturer. This person is intellectually very smart and very shrewd. He pays his child support on time without complaint and wants to be with his kids all the time–which I think is great, but our value systems are different enough that I know that he would not be “the one” if I was actually interested in marriage. Moreover, I am not physically attracted to him, so that’s Strike Two against any chance of us being a couple. Is this man not marriage material? Yes, he is–but for some other woman.

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: black women are not looking for perfection no more than black men. We are accused of being superficial, but I don’t see a lot of brothers lowering their standards when it comes to a woman’s physical appearance.

LOL this entire thread is a freakin Hoot!

Black unity in action baby!
hahaha

i believe some black women are single because some are just to damn picky lol i mean lets face it let’s face it times have changed alot it use to be a women would like man for what is personality is now it’s what are your personal finances are lol i believe some women go for looks i believe that looks are not everything cause you can be the finest chevy in the world but have a fu**ed up engine but anyway and ladies lookie for a real goal orientedman hit me 785 226 0543

LOL classic Kbigg… you’re phone will be ringing off the hook for all those fine sista’s desperate for a “good brutha” like you…

Hahahaha this is hillarious!

f**k u boston u cracker don’t no women want yo short dick stiff back pale ass b***h take yo sun tanning ass to e harmony b***h

HAHAHA!!!!!

Classic perb!

LOL you’re awesome!

Are these guys speaking english? I really don’t understand what language they are writing. Ok, too much thugs so no woman (especially the educated ones)wants to end up with these stupid thugs (half of them are probably in jail or something) so the remaining people are just a few black men and white men. The few black men won’t go round and they can’t afford been seen around white men so the ladies are confused, hence staying single. I think the solution is that american black women should look for the remaining good black men from other countries to make up for the waste, ahhhh, loss.

black woman won’t f**k me but i’m f**king all yo women boston

THERE IS ALWAY A GOOD MAN PLEASE MY DEAR IS YOU AROUNT A GOOD MAN PLEASE I’AM.. AND WOMAN HAVE DON MANY THING TO ME. WHICH I FOUND VERY UNPLEASENT.SOME BLACK WOMAN. AS SO BAD.. AND YOU DON’T NEED TO LOVE THEM. BECAUSE THEY WILL ALWAY SEE YOU AS AN ENEMY. SO TO ME .. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR ENEMIES MORE THEN BLACK WOMAN.

@CHARLE007: In responding to your question, women wear wigs and weaves for a variety of reasons. This is nothing new for men of early European cultures use to wear those big white puffed up wigs. For me, I can honestly say that I like changing my hair up in different styles. Depending on the style I might decide to just by the wig or get a weave done. That’s me. Many believe that black women are stuck on this long hair trip and it’s not true. Weaves are too worn for short styles. Let me just comment that it’s not about being lazy neither. Weaves, wigs, short cuts, your natural hair all have its job to be done. In modern society weaves and wigs are in. Moving past style, I have been noticing that ALOPECIA is becoming more common amongst our people. I’ve seen a couple of girls with this problem and in this case, the weaves or wigs are needed. Sometimes this is caused from taking strong medications, sicknesses, stress etc… Not to point fingers, but weaves and wigs are not only worn in our community. It’s just more obvious when a black woman wears it. I have to be honest and I hope this doesn’t start a fight, LOL I don’t think I could date a brother wearing a toupee. YIKES

Hey Jamhal,
good point, however that is predicated on the fact that Black women only want black men, which is certainly not the case as shown by the ever growing numbers of interracial marriages in the USA i.e BW with WM.

But certainly if a black woman wanted to be with a black man I concur with your statement, they are better off with a true African male then the garden variety US clowns…

Hey Perb, I don’t own white women or any other race of women, so whomever you’re Fukking is your business and more power to you.

I don’t discriminate when it comes to classy educated women, but I do reccomend ALL WOMEN be discriminate in their choices when it comes to african amercan males, too much rif-raf like you out there.

Y do we keep having this convo? A lot of black women are single for those points made in the article… a number of blk men are in prison, don’t have a job, or being killed. Im not downing black men or anything because a lot of this oppression isn’t their fault. I don’t think that our standards are too high because I think we know how to take a “fixer-upper” and upgrade them like Beyonce said. Even if some have high standards what’s wrong with that? I just want black women to start looking outside of their ethnicitiy for a man, stop thinking that black men are the only one’s for you… because there are some awesome white, mexican, cuban, etc. men out there.

Yasmine

black women try to be dominant they look at white men as yes men

I agree with Yasmine’s comments 100%!!!

if you cant find a black man then date outside your race if black men do it why not us.i have never dated a black man in all my life the first boy who ask me out was hispanic and when your young you dont know too much about race all you know is boy and girl. and when i got older i became aware of everything but i be damned if im gonna leave a good man because he is not black are you serious? but if you notice the people who are doing the most commenting are men not women so either they are taken and are swingers or just single because they want to be.

I’m a Navy vet, full time student at Savannah State University obtaining my Biology Degree and then on to Med School. I wish I could get with a wonderful woman like her. Smart, Beautiful, Into Sports like her! OMG! Athletic….OMG again. I’m standing on top of the empire state with my hand raised. HERE I AM! lol

@boston

you dont know African men. African men are not the shining armor you think they are. most successful Black women will not date African men, alot of them are successful but controlling and abusive.

Hey Like, just becvause you’re educated and aren’t in jail doesn’t mean you have a personality worth a shyte… Now, I’m not implying that you don’t, just saying that the options aren’t ghetto thugs or non criminal bruthas….

Jeez first a woman has to find you attractive, she has to dig your style, your personality and 1st and foremost you CAN’T come at her with that same tired old “brutha rap” every black women has been hearing since she was 13 years old…

hahaha

you just jealous of me boston like all white men u crawl at womens feet give em what that to hit that ass what u don’t understand is how she can come give me all the money u gave her cause you can’t give her what i’m giving her and thats a nut u stiff back as white boy

I do know many African men having lived in Tanzania for 3 years, and Botswana for 1 year. Most men there are real men.

They see themselves as MEN FIRST, they don’t define themselves as BLACK MEN.

I can respect that, sorry but y’all brutha’s that see yourselves as BLACK MEN first are tired and weak

Hey Perb, since I date Black women exclusively I have no envy or interest in what you do with white women, go for it dude, knock your socks off LOL

Aww hell, I commented before viewing the whole video. These ladies hate being single but don’t want to settle. How do you erase comments on this d^mn thing? SMH. (Putting my hand down and Climbing down from the Empire State)

you buy black women boston they don’t want u white women buy me black women want me but can’t afford me lol at u

The girls obviously need to be more aggressive if they mind being single. If they don’t mind being single… be single…

Ummm I don’t buy any woman perb…
I don’t treat any black woman any different than I would treat any other race of woman, and that is with dignity and respect.
If she’s a ghetto hoodrat I wouldn’t be hitting on her anyway as I wouldn’t have anything in common with an idiot. LOL

Like I said go get as many white women as you can to buy you or fulfil whatever your needs seem to be…

Me on the other hand…

I’m simply not that “insecure” hahahaha

Look its simple it comes down to money and thats is black women don’t resepect no man she takes care of period no let me clear that up no woman so to my fellow black men get ya grown man on and to my sister stop lookin down on a working brutha 1 job 2 jobs factory or ceo he workin right be more open minded and give a average working class brutha a chance you might surprise yaself

BLACK WOMEN LOVE HARD NIGGAS WHO DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THIER LIFE,THEY LOVE VIOLENCE AND DRAMA AND THE SOAP OPRA LIFE STYLE..EVERY DAY AT THE COLLEGE I ATTENTED I SEE ALOT OF BLACK WOMEN WITH THESE THUG WANNA BE’S OUTSIDE WAITING 4 THEM IN THE PARKINGLOT AND I LOOK IN THE SCHOOL AND I SEE SUCESSFUL YOUNG BLACK MEN WITH OTHER RACES..BLACK WOMEN DONT WANT NO REALTIONSHIPS THEY WANT MONEY,A ONE NIGHT STAND,AND A HARD NIGGA WHO CAN SPIT THAT GAME ON THE CELL…THATS ALL THEY WANT FROM A NIGGA THEY CAN DO BAD ALL BY THEMSELVES THAN TO BE WITH A EDUCATED SO CALLED SOFT NIGGA..

Hey Mattavious, the women you speak of aren’t Black women, they are hood rats who simply share a shade of melanin with a true black queen…

Thats just so lame….

Why do i have the feeling the white folks that reported this s**t are sitting back laughing at us saying” those n****rs will never get it together eventually they will all die off ” Thats what im thinking and so, can we all agree to shut this forum down by saying in 2010 we agree to defy the sterotypesn and never wallk by each other without speaking . Thats a start cause we can sit here and go back and forth till its 2011. Be honest how many of you posting are ready to get married or whose just talking smack using the other sexes faults to justify why your alone. If your ready to get married be postivite and make it happen and if your not, be upfront and honest and dont lead folks on.

Where is da word AFRICAN MALE deriving from? lmao…we are Black or Afro-Americans I thought…last time I checked this was the United States *(NOT)* AFRICA. My ancestor’s do not come from AFRICA, its sad to see white people using this word here in america. Black folk don’t call white folk – europeans ! lol Now back to da 42% show…hahahaha

@catgirlTX: LOL I am reading and laughing. toooooo funny. If you think about it, yeah we are dam near extinct especially since we’ve become so ‘multicultural’ I will take your advice Cat in advance by saying God bless you my sister

Hey cat as a white male I can openly admit that I am laughing…

I find this entire thread fukking hillarious. LOL

@sirperb8319

lol no dog, Black women always make themselves seem superior to YOU. Don’t include other Black men in your shortcomings. It sounds like the problem is that Black women don’t find you attractive lol. You can think you are the finest brotha that walked the planet. That doesn’t mean nothing when the sistas place their eyes on you and find you to be horrendous. Black women probably staring at the White girl on your arm because they wondering why she would choose such an unattractive brother.

Actually this should have been the first thing I said to you…

Please post complete sentences that aren’t run-on sentences before you call somebody a fool. That only makes you look like the foolish one. Have you ever heard of a period?

I think we put too much weight on being with a man or being married. I take being single as a blessing. You have people that are married who wish they were single and this is bcse the person they married wasnt right or being single seemed to be difficult. I wld rather have a few hard days of being by myself (not lonly) then to marry and have a life time of hard days, heart aches, worry and just not wanting to be with that person. I like dating..coming home and not having to worry abt anyone else farting whatever..Its a freedom we can embrace bcse we as women we continually think “I NEED a man” and we do for companionship at times but im not wasting my time on the wrg man just to have one…I will die single b4 I buy into this.

Sirperb-
Its black guys like you that make black women turn to white men. Stop being such a loser and get your shyt together…..talking about a woman givin you money, that says a lot about you as a person….it spells L-A-M-E in my book. Get on the white mans level.

@anubis_nor Well Said!

@BriTani_n_Cali

C’mon sistas turn to Italian men cuz they think we’re fine, has nothing at all to do with morons like perb, hjajaja

Reason 42% are single ?

OBESITY and WEAVE

hey Mister-Big

Perhaps your correct, but I just took a look and BriTani’s profile and she’s drop dead gorgeous, not obese no weave. I think she’s still single…

How do you explain a queen such as her??

@show2night, what’s up, mayn! Well I do believe we black people have to compare ourselves to the whites in our society. They are the measuring stick of where we should be in this society when there are no obstacles barring your way. We use them to determine whether we’re being underpaid or not, whether we are accorded equal rights in housing, health treatment, etc. So yes, if white women are being successful at something and they are not, they should be concerned. White people have no inherited issues such as slavery, discrimination except for well . . . us. :-).
In regards to your other question – How come the media and pre-dominately westerners ( whites) ? Have so much to say about Black women social status ?
Any modern progressive society has to be concerned about the minority in its midst if only for selfish reasons (not saying all their reasons are selfish). We, blacks and whites, are all part of the same society and whatever happens to us affects them. For example when we disproportionately suffer form AIDS it stresses the health care system. When we don’t have jobs it affects the social services system and increases the crime rate. So really it’s in their best interest that we are for the most part happy. The alternative is living in a society like Iraq where as a minority christian no one cares if you live or die.
I understand we don’t like “our business” to be brought into the limelight, but it’s their business also. Ask yourself this question. What if no one cared?

Frankly, we don’t appear to have the resources or worse the motivation to do this ourselves. We can’t run a census. The cost alone is prohibitive and that’s just one issue. I don’t see BET doing anything like this, and I don’t know why, as they have access to the same data as ABC.

Because too many refuse to date ANYTHING but black guys! You’re limiting yourselves ladies. There are many men out there of many colors of the rainbow and maybe ONE of them is made for you!!

@terren2001

Black athletes? Really? The main woman in the video was a cheerleader for the Atlanta Falcons in addition to her other accomplishments. If she wanted an athlete she is more than capable of getting one lol. She doesn’t look like she is looking for an athlete dog. You are probably D list in the looks category when it comes to them. You probably don’t measure up to their expectations.

It is easy to place the Blame on the women. It seems like all of the men Blaming and degrading these single Black women are single themselves. I know it hurts when you get rejected but some of you are taking it too far.

@ bostonslvboy

You’re a White male, so it’s no surprise that you find the destruction/dysfunction of Black people funny. You have no love for Black people as a group, especially Black men. You’re only intrerst is in using Black women as a sexual fetish. You’re like a sexual vulture who is here to pick the meat from the dysfunctional bones of Black feminist women. The sad part is, some confused Black woman out there is actually dating you….out of frustration….

bostonslvboy, it’s in your bloodline to gain satisfaction from the destruction of Black people.

@Anglix dude, nice post, and very good point

keakevene, there are no more (percentage wise) ‘gay black men’ than in the past. that’s something that’s pretty much consistent.

perhaps there are more OUT gay men.

i just hate to see folks use the ‘gay’ thing about black men, because that is one of the EXCUSES weaker black women use about black men; fact: there are no more (percentage wise) gay black men in the black community than there are gay black women. and no higher percentage of gay black men than white or asian men.

and there are PLENTY of ‘successful’ black men who don’t have a college degree; many are in skilled trades or in areas we don’t think about (CAD, warehousing/logistics, police, firemen, etc.).

fact is, NOT ALL folks are interested in a four year or higher degree, and that’s okay. now, if a woman doesnt want one of the guys i listed above, thats HER RIGHT. she just can’t complain there are ‘no good men’ out there. usually, a smart sister (women of all races) will take a guy that is making his money in a ‘legal’ career and be happy with it. that aint ‘lowering standards’, that’s dealing with reality. most PEOPLE of any color dont have a degree, and the highest degree earning race, asians, are ‘merely’ at 50%.

i’ve NEVER seen a fit/pretty/educated or skilled/sane sister complain about ‘no good black men’. that is EXCLUSIVELY for the fat, ugly, too many kids from too many men, insecure sisters. as i said before, what WOMEN find is ‘attractive about women’ is meaningless to MEN.

same as with men…too many brothers whine about ‘gold digging women’ when:

1) usually they dont have any gold to dig, or;

2) show off their shyt, then complain about women wanting it.

most of the cats whining about ‘black women aint shyt-they’re golddiggers’ are broke punks, or regular money guys who are short. black women are NO DIFFERENT from other women in this aspect: women TEND to prefer men with SOME kind of affluence and who are tall.

life, therefore, sucks more for:

short broke men, and;

fat, ugly, ghetto chicks.

oh well.

@Truth LOL dude it’s not anyones destruction I find amusing, its public displays of stupidity I find hilarious.

75% of the posts on this thread are retarded, the balance are well thought out and well articuated, like Anglix’s post below. Your posting however is one of the retarded ones…

I’m Italian, my bloodline goes back to a small coastal village in southern Italy, we’ve never had a slave, never owned a slave, never been slaves, we migrated to the USA after civil rights were enacted… I share no white guilt for any s**t any one did to you and to be honest I don’t really give a crap that some white dude from the UK f**ked up your ancestors and banged your great grand daddy in the azz, it has nothing to do with me :)

I dont’ see black women as a sexual fetish (althought you want them to believe that) I see them as truly beautiful women that I aspire to be be with.

You see all woman as a c** pad (we know you do)

@anubus_noir: I could not have said it any better. Seems like he has a complex with himself and instead of being mad at black women, he should be mad at himself. A BLACK MAN IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.

someone spoke about prefrences and that is important. You may be tall , handsome, successful, tat free, drug free and have breath that would make a dead person raise from the grave! Now Im serious about that. I knew this guy and he was constantly complaining about sistas not wanting a good brother like him and so on and so forth and truth is he had killa breath no doubt. So check ya hygeine lol lol Cause I dont wanna have to wear a mask just to talk to you and I sure as hell aint gonna kiss ya…………( had to try to lighten things up. Yall about to cut each others throats up in here ) Yall need to hug Show some black love lol

@Cat HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that’s classic!!

Y’all she’s telling you to go clean your damn AZZ!

Hahaha she’s just doing so in a polite way :) classic!

Anibus, thanks for being man enough to speak the truth brother..

LMAO@ sirperb8319
12-30-2009 2:25 pm
you just jealous of me boston like all white men u crawl at womens feet give em what that to hit that ass what u don’t understand is how she can come give me all the money u gave her cause you can’t give her what i’m giving her and thats a nut u stiff back as white boy

Wow Show, thats the third time you repeated that lame post… LOL

If I was gonna crawl at a womans feet then I would crawl LOL I have no insecurities and no injured pride to defend debating a moron like you hahahahaha

Guys like you make the opening rap to a sista all the more easier, and for this I thank you :)

@ bostonslvboy

“I don’t really give a crap that some white dude from the UK f**ked up your ancestors and banged your great grand daddy in the azz, it has nothing to do with me ” – Thank you for making my point.

People need to accept the truth. Black men step your game up, black women don’t lower your standards. Don’t let people make you feel bad just because they feel your standards are IMPOSSIBLE or RIDICULOUS. Why should having a good education and a well paying job be TOO MUCH?? If you ask me society has lowered their standards, black women (successful black women) have not.

Black men are more socially accepted than black women so of course they can talk all this mess without anyone disagreeing. and unfortunately the only people who disagree is black women so yeah, it’s a never ending effed up circle of black hate etc.

Their are many successful black men, but unfortunately not enough. and a lot of those black women marry white women or just are not marriage material. It’s a messed up world ladies, just hope that you are not part of that statistic.

As for weaves. why are people still complaining about weaves in 2009?! get over it. even white women wear weaves! TONS of them do. get off our backs!

WOW… Like 98% of the Comments on here are Pure Gabbage!Im nt even gonna start Preachin about this.End of Conversation!

@Truth

You made no point. You simply ranted about your insecurity of being a black male.
Why do I have to give a crap about what some other race of people did to your people?

No Italians from the coastal village I come from had anything to do with it. So go find the descendants of those guys who buttfukked your great gran daddy and get them to help you make your point..

LOL

There are too many brothas on Blackplanet that run to any topic about Black women just to complain about them. The same brothers prefer non-Black women. Is it just me or does it seem like they really got their feelings hurt that Black women don’t want them? They find every excuse to degrade Black women and then talk about the White, Asian, or Latina women they get (even though they are always listed as single). If they didn’t really care about Black women wanting them then they would whine and complain about Black women so much, all while trying to make the Black women jealous about them dating outside the race.

What is the percentage of Black men that complain about Black women. At this rate, there will be more White men in here uplifting Black women than their are Black men.

You know all these words between man or boys that call themselve’s man , don’t get us no where in this convo… right
The point is people chose to make it hard on themselve’s, If a BLk woman is single without a man its because she want
to be. Most woman are so caught up on their career that they can’t see a good man. Now Steve I respect with all my heart
But you forget that love don’t have a list of standards . Yeah I had it hard and made some mistake along the way , but what am
I doing about my life today . I attend Santa Monica Collage, for X-Ray Tech, I work with the OIF/OEF Vets returning from
combat, helping them get their life together, I work with family’s at the local YMCA, as a trainer. But you want to know something I,m 47 and single no kids live alone job, car, and my own place to stay.. Do you see me with the support of a good woman no and i,m not a bad looking man 6″2′ 240lb , in good shape. Younger women don,t looking for a older man that got his life together to get with ,only white women will do something like that right…. Most older man know how to be in a relationship, father, husband, soulmate, and man of God…. re-do the math

@anubis

Dude you hit it on the head, these dudes really want to keep black women in the “pen” they don’t want them going to other races, be they white, asian, hispanic, whatever…

They use guilt trips and that tired old “down with the cause” solidarity crap to keep a sista stuck to them like a crack head on the pipe.

Being a white guy who’s dated a lot of sistas I’ve head the same recurring theme from them about black men, they don’t disrespect them they are simply tired of being disrespected by them and on top of that they just think us Italian guys are too damn cute! :)

anubis, since you’re following me around (thanks for bringing this news item up in the ‘are black women ashamed of their hair’ thread) as if you’re trying out to be my bytch, let’s ask YOU:

you said ‘too many brothas’ are running to this thread, etc.

what exactly is the ‘right amount’ of brothers doing this? what would constitute ‘too few’?

bwahahahahahaha

@ bostonslvboy

You don’t get it, do you? The point is that you DON’T care about Black history, that’s my entire point, and those are the words out of your own mouth. You are living proof to how Black women who date White men are also disrespecting their own lineage/ancestors by being with White men like yourself…who blatantly joke about the rape and oppression that Black folk went through.

To be with any man who blatantly laughs (or does not give a damn) at the rape of your own ancestors is disrespecting yourself.

Black women, pay attention to this point before you consider dating a white man….at least go Latina….

man please black men love white women cus they dont run there mouths but with that said i have never been with a white woman like that. the fat white women that black women say men love may not b fat its just females hating on females. it is something that will never change. u really think that black men have not dated black women? sure they have but they choose to mess wit big boned white women for the warmth and for know that no matter how horrible the man is she will have his back. this is not to say that black women dont but think about it. but anyways i dont want to b married with combination kids so there are working smart educated black men still looking for black women they just might not b to ur standards in one way or another. :-)(-:

@anubis

You sound ignorant. Her being a cheerleader is laughable. AThletes bang these women not marry them. You dont know men. She isaverage looking, you assume because shes a cheerleader shes fine. Again, you dont know men. If her being a cheerleader was an issue, shed have a successful athelete. No1 cares that shes an athelte, she looks older than 32, and her body wasnt all that

You brother need to stop talking to this white BOY on here and stay on point with the topic
Why are 42 % of BLK women still single … WE TIND TO FIGHT THE WRONG BATTLE
As for the sister that spoke about brother on BP, The whole site has to much drama
BLACK&WHITE& EVERY OTHER RACE TO ME ITS ALL BS

damn truth i just read that. are u from africa? probably not. so how do u know ur 100 % black?

Truth: I don’t care about black history any more or less then I care about Chinese history, or the history of people from Togo… LOL

Because I date black women or they date me means we are required to have a heart felt appreication for the fact that your grand daddy took it in the azz from some big burly white dude??
LOL

C’mon truth, the only truth about history is YOUR GRAND DADDY let his wife, his children, his sisters and his brother be enslaved by another person, no matter what color that person was.

If your anscestor had any self worth he would have killed his family and himself rather than permit such an enslavement…

So you wanted to hear my disdain for your history? There it is…

My ancestors woudl have killed themselves first and as recently as Word War Two some did rather than be enslaved by the Nazis to build defenses against the allied forces…

Your weak dude, your blood line is weak.

A sista wants better and YOU AIN’T It!

meechie, you said:

“People need to accept the truth. Black men step your game up, black women don’t lower your standards.”

this works ONLY for black women in a position to have ‘standards’. hell, this is ALSO the truth:

black women WHO ARE SHYT, step up your game; black men WHO ARE IN A POSITION TO CHOOSE, dont lower your standards.

add the capitalized words to your ‘truth’ and we’re in agreement.

“Black men are more socially accepted than black women so of course they can talk all this mess without anyone disagreeing.”

really? what proof do you have that ‘black men are more socially accepted’? do you mean that ‘non black women go for black men more than non black men go for black women in terms of marriage’? that’s a quantifiable fact.

how else?

if black men are so much more ‘socially acceptable’, then why is it black men ‘need to ‘step up their game’? hell, it would seem black women, based on that statement, would ‘need to step up their game’ so they’d also be ‘more socially acceptable’.

your statement, my friend, was a contradiction.

“Their are many successful black men, but unfortunately not enough. ”

‘not enough’ for whom? 24% of black men AND 24% of black women are living below the poverty line or within 10% of it (which means POOR). so, why should a poor black woman on public aid be in the running for a successful black man any more than a poor brother be in the running for a rich/educated sister?

answer? she aint.

for every fucced up brother there’s a fucced up sister. no evidence WHATSOEVER that there are more ‘good black women’ than ‘good black men’, or vice versa.

it’s sad to see how we continue to fall for the media hype, continue to point the fingers at each other why nightline and elev* just picked up another advertising sheck based on the 800 comments here. Do your research and find out the truth behind their (false) assertions and flawed reasoning, instead of feeding into the hype..

“there are people and principalities that have a vested interest in, and are compensated to misinform you, so that they can mismangae you” ~ Janks Morton

exceprt from the film: What Black Men Think

Allow me to kill two birds with one stone Both of you’all are ugly whiteboys @anubis_noir, @bostonslvboy. For the record One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase – ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

Most people aren’t fazed at all when they see a Black woman with a White man… Now go ahead and flip the script… Fifty-three percent disapproved of seeing a Black man with a White woman.

Successful black men who choose to “cross over” may draw additional ire because of the perceived notion among black women that Black men who have made it tend to prefer non-Black companions. I think Celebrity couples also play a role in influencing black women’s feelings. Yeah, we’re cool with Halle switching from marrying Black men to dating Gabriel Aubry, a White model. But Kobe, Tiger, Terrence and Taye? Hmmm.

Hey Show, with all due respect they disapprove just as much when they see an educated sista with a dumbadd brutha like you becuase its a step down.

Not racially or genetically but socially a culturally.

If I walk into a bar and there is you me and 5 sista’s I’m going home with one of them, your going home with your dik in your hand.

boston, again, i know you’re ‘busting balls’, but lets be honest:

if a so called ‘educated sister’ is with a ‘dumb brother’, then how is it a step down for her? hell, she’s no better than the men she dates.

same as with men…too many brothers whine about ‘gold digging women’ when:

1) usually they dont have any gold to dig, or; <-AMEN TO THIS ONE

2) show off their shyt, then complain about women wanting it.

most of the cats whining about ‘black women aint shyt-they’re golddiggers’ are broke punks, or regular money guys who are short. black women are NO DIFFERENT from other women in this aspect: women TEND to prefer men with SOME kind of affluence and who are tall.

life, therefore, sucks more for:

short broke men, and;

fat, ugly, ghetto chicks.

oh well.

Smack fair point and well said, and yes I’m just breaking balls…

@bostonslvbo. Dude! your ugly physically, emotionally, genetically(inferior) and mentally. You are a cheese ball in which your descendants sucks on my African daddy great balls which i still posses and now you’re sucking on them.

truth blazer you are so correct and that is why even thought black men and women have issues I would never lay down with a devil and allow him the pleasure of touching me. Its bad enough when we walk down the street or any where in a public setting they stare at us as if we are naked.( and I dont walk around half naked) That is why it is important that we know who we are and our history. Willie lynch said clearly things were designed so we would continue to cut each others throats and simply hate each other to the point where we dont even want to marry or have children together. Eventually as one of the brothers stated with prison murder and us simply wanting to breed with others to make our children look a certain way we have to worry will our people start to diminish.

SMACKUSILLY: EXCUSE MY LAST POST MY PC IS A WRECK. I WAS TRYIN TO COMMENT ON YOUR 3:12PM WHEN YOU SAID
“same as with men…too many brothers whine about ‘gold digging women’ when:

1) usually they dont have any gold to dig, or;

2) show off their shyt, then complain about women wanting it.

most of the cats whining about ‘black women aint shyt-they’re golddiggers’ are broke punks, or regular money guys who are short. black women are NO DIFFERENT from other women in this aspect: women TEND to prefer men with SOME kind of affluence and who are tall.

life, therefore, sucks more for:

short broke men, and;

fat, ugly, ghetto chicks.

oh well.

I COULDN’T AGREE ANY FURTHER.

@bostonslvbo. Dude! your ugly physically(more luminous than you), emotionally(Find yourself white boy 1st), genetically(your inferior) and mentally( much more educated than you). You are a cheese ball in which your descendants sucks on my African daddy great balls which i still posses and now you’re sucking on them.

@bostonslvboy, thank you.
Eyes on the prize people.
No one is learning anything new from the trading of insults.

Alot of Black women dont want to go outside of there race and thats what ends up with them being single. Sometimes the perfect guy for you isn’t black.

WOW! 819 comments??! I hope with all of this ‘talk’ that some solution or reasoning has come from it….

@sklyerzane: I have really been wondering about that. Although I’ve never dated outside and really wouldn’t want too, this is the situation that black women are facing. At the end of the day, God has no preference in man for he made us all flesh in blood. In all reality, true love has no color, looks, race, etcc… whey you are feeling tha person and want to take it further, it will happen. My work computer wouldn’t allow me to view the video so I really can’t comment on what these women had to say.

Also i would like to say i’m not offended when a white woman is with a black man, it’s there choice and i’m usually looking for the white man she dumped :0)

Weak Genetics@bostonslvbo.”Whites attribute their failure of reproduction to behavioral or societal reasons. However, the reason is more a biological one. Melanin is present at the inception of life: A Melanin sheath covers both the sperm and the egg! In the human embryo, the melanocytes (skin pigment cells), brain and nerve cells all originate from the same place; the neural crest. Melanocytes resemble nerve cells and are essential for conveying energy. When Melanin is missing or insufficient in the ectoderm of the early embryo (blastula), this causes the mother to lose her baby; in the case of whites, a defective baby is produced, and over time, through inbreeding, wears down the already pathetically low levels of melanin. Reproduction stops altogether and virtual infertility is the end result.

As far as vitamin D metabolization, white people have the lowest bone density of all people on the planet. The skin is supposed to convert sunlight to Vitamin D because of 7-Dehydrocholesterol. However, white people reflect the sunlight so that the body compensates by depleting calcium from their bones. It makes whites more susceptible to kidney stones than any other race of people. The depletion of bone mass is responsible for their low bone density. It is widely regarded that black people have the strongest bones of all people from infancy to old age.”

@ forum

Smack always claims I am following him around but he seems to always be the person talking to me. He is delusional lol

Weak Genetics@bostonslvbo “Melanin has been proven to not only refine the human reproductive system and nervous system, but melanin also plays an important part in sight and hearing. Blue eyes are simply eyes that lack melanin. Blue eyes are more sensitive to sunlight and do not process light or produce sight as efficiently as brown eyes. Isn’t it funny how many people place divine qualities with blue eyes that are nothing but genetically defective?

Melanin is also said to be linked with hearing. Melanocytes are present in the inner ear, the eye, and in the membrane that covers the brain and spinal cord. It has been demonstrated that melanin deposits in these areas are proportional to the amount of melanin found in the skin. These areas of the body, similar to the skin, are exposed to high-energy free radicals that can damage the surrounding cells, and thus causes a lower threshold for hearing. Evidence shows that black people, on average, hear better than whites, and that within both races, women surpass men. A partial explanation of the differences may lie in the abundance in the inner ear of melanin pigments. Also, numerous studies have found that people with light eye colors, such as blue, green, and hazel are more vulnerable to hearing damage than are people with black or brown eyes.”

not racial its something that can be said for every race and gays to!!!!!!!!!!!

@ summer_so_fine: I’m a movie buff so watch Something New. I love that movie and it puts it all out there on the table about this very subject. In the minds of Black Women, it’s ingrained to marry a black man. However, in this day and age, there are fine white, Asian and men of plenty of other races that are available and want a beautiful Black woman that just sticking with what we were told to was the way to go isn’t necessary. I’d challenge a Black Woman to go on a date with a man of different race once or twice before they decide it’s not for them

we dont wont no stinkin solution.

we want war. me want sandmich.

@skyler

i disagree its engrained in a balck women to marry a black man. its just that we are physically superior to men of other races. ANd black women know that. they would date a white man, if white man were as physcially dominant as black men.

man please black men love white women cus they dont run there mouths but with that said i have never been with a white woman like that. the fat white women that black women say men love may not b fat its just females hating on females. it is something that will never change. u really think that black men have not dated black women? sure they have but they choose to mess wit big boned white women for the warmth and for know that no matter how horrible the man is she will have his back. this is not to say that black women dont but think about it. but anyways i dont want to b married with combination kids so there are working smart educated black men still looking for black women they just might not b to ur standards in one way or another. :-) (-:

all this good info/advice in these posts will fall on deaf ears to most of these types of women. damn near every dude posted sh it i’ve said or though myself. luckily there were only a few suckin up and/or brown nosin.

as a people, we’re doomed!

@terren2001: where do you live that you have physcially dominant black men? It’s good to know you have self confidence, but if a woman doesn’t think you are, your not.

wow @ terren did u just say that. i see black women wit asains what does that mean?

lol my bad asians

In my experience most black women are looking for the wrong things listening to the wrong people. There are a lot of single good black men out there. I know loads of sistas chasing drug dealers, and going to the prison to meet men. I went to law school, got a decent job and I’m single as hell cause my girlfriend’s girlfriends said I was too bougie. Maybe I should smoke more weed.
Another thing most black women have it engrained in they mind that “niggas aint s**t”. I think black women should date other races so they can get they crap together. Weave, provacative clothes, 37 year old sistas at the club every weekend? Lets be real, half of that 42% ain’t marriage material. If I want a woman with long blonde hair I’ll date a white girl.
That being said I love my sistas and one day my daughter will be a black woman and face the same problems so I do sympathize.

Here is my solution: I no longer date. I never wanted to marry anyway, so why even bother with dating?

@ UNCUT_VIDEOS,
You said, “the fat white women that black women say men love may not b fat”

and

“they choose to mess wit big boned white women for the warmth”

May not be fat? Big boned? Warmth?
I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny or not. If you’re not, then damn! You’re deluding yourself, and it explains how so many brothers can walk around with these huge white women.

@ UNCUT_VIDEOS, I’m not trying to insult you. Please keep that in mind. Just trying to force some introspection.

Someone stop uncut videos from posting that pure ignorance. Hes killing me softly with that s**t. Would one of you brothers school him on why he thinks white women are so special and superior.lol He souunds like the kinda brother who would runn and get himself a pale pig at the first chance he gets. Seriously, I could careless if you the kind that enjoys laying with pigs and dogs. I rather have a king that is aware of himself and his manhood. One who doesnt mind bowing down to his Queen, cause he knows she has his back.. Wih that said ….. continue whinning about why black women aint aint s**t like the white man wants you to…

dam if i was white i would think black folks don’t like each other or like black women are the most wicked women on the planet- funny all the negativity on BLACKPLANET!! thank god i hang around real black folks and not jsut the want to be when it’s nessary-lol oh please stop attacking white women and the black men that date them. Snap if the person ain’t for you they just ain’t-why clown then for their choices-hell everyone has a choice!! black or white. but what do i know i’m a black woman and i’m single-lol– but dammit i’m loving it 4 real!! so many fine brothas- i can’t possibly run in a relationship right now!! God bless yall and keep writing i need a good laugh —> i’m outt!!!

very few black women are with Asians. most are with Brothers and prefer Brothers.

We are taller stronger darker and more domiannt physicall.y Its all genetic.

Sisters can ahve any man they want, they have the braisn and beauty. but those other men dotn offer what we offer physcially.

@UNCUT: before you went on your white chick tangent, you mentioned black chicks and asians. I dated an asian recently (he moved back to hong kong, dang him)and i must say that he was kind, respectful, cute, had alot of the same stuff in common with me and willing to learn and understand me. Just cause your of the same race doesn’t mean you’ll instantly vibe. again i’ll challenge Black women to date outside there race and i bet that number of single ladies will go down at least 50%

I agree with Mysticsoul if I did not know any better I would think Black Folks hate each other as well. And the choice to be single is the best and correct answer. It’s about choice!!!!!!!

wow, this conversation is still going on… lol..When I left last night it was right at 450 posts… now its almost double that… I guess this issue is a lot deeper than I initially thought..

@skylerzane youe 31 years old right? how has you dating non black man help your single issues? an where is the motherload of non black men just so excited to date black women in massive numbers, arent men the one suppose to do the chasing, so you want black women to start doing the chasing of non black men to cure thier single woes?

Honestly black women bring too much drama to the table. I’ve dated other races and the woman don’t trip over simple things and get attitudes all the time. They are easier to deal with and have class more often than not in public places. There are lots of classy black women but I they are hard to find. But just about every black women will get into the whole “sista with a attitude” thing. Its just old now. And then to top it off when you do see black women or younger black ladies I should say get into the whole “hollywood” scene they stick there noses up at everybody. I’ve been around the whole “baldwin hills” crowd and girls that model and this and that. They act like they are gods gift to humanity. Theres always extremes with this generation of young black women instead of a balance, which is what you mostly see in other races.

After all of this back and forth I hope that we have learned from each other’s comments. It’s sad that we do not have that reputation of strongly supporting each other as a unit of people. What is not tolerated by us in the neighborhoods of other ethnicities we ignore in our own communities. It’s as if we don’t even care about each other. Seems like black women are disgusting to black men the way they carry on about us, meanwhile, I never hear white men speak ill about their ivory queens. Say something insulting about a spanish woman to one of her latino men or an Asian woman to an Asian man and see what the response will be. What ever the final conclusions are that 42% of black women are single, does not mean that we are unfit to be with black men. On the subject of standards, how many of my black brothers in this forum would not want your mother, sister, aunts or female cousins to date anything less or otherwise than that same “HIGH STANDARD” man you complain black women are only targeting. Some body please describe a High Standard man or woman because nothing in life is gauranteed. What glitter isn’t always gold. We complain about what we don’t have but when we get it, we are not satisfied. Men complain women wear weaves, but when they see a woman who is off her track, hair looking a hot mess, they diss her. Women complain they want a good black man, but maybe that man is in front of your face and you are over looking him because of what, he doesn’t have this that and the third. Start looking at the person in the mirror. Sit down and write or analyze exactly what do you want in a relationship. What do you consider a soul mate. I find that our relationships don’t work because we not only are unhappy with the person, but unhappy with in ourselves. We are so quick to bail out over silly flaws and flames, we don’t even give each other a chance. “till death do you part” now a days is more like “till you part” because marriages are not everlasting anymore.

@UNCUT_VIDEOS you been talking how good white women are for black men, my question is what has white women done for black men that makes them so special to you?

I feel that though time has passed I think we as a people need to worry about repairing ourselves like business, our culture, our families, our helping our people to get back on trackothers to the point of what proper self image is, down to loving our inner and outerselves, and being respected within the world of men.

I ask three questions of any woman that I would like before I drool over them hehe, I ask
1. Does your family line have any connection to Africa as a bloodline, decendent or African American?
2. Have you ever dated outside of your people; I only date African American women who date us, I’m not into the sellout easy man pleasing hoe that would sexually comfort our enemies. They’d change any and everything to ‘be acceptable to them’ bye, I want a real black woman thank you.
3. Who is the greatest race of people who’s contributed most in the world.
I look for an answer that compliments who she is, I don’t want a hoe that is actually a cheerleader for my enemies. Can you imagine a ‘Dallas Cowboy’ getting a headache every time his ‘Patriots cheerleader girl friend’ cheers when they score against Dallas? Not too comforting or endearing.
4. A woman has to be able to trust her man, and to still believe in ‘love’ not some tired loveless, convenience seking person who is out for themselves.
5. Which man is most attractive to her, if she doesn’t think that our race of men are the most attractive then I don’t want her telling me, or our potential son or daughter anything about what looks good to her and his or her looks!

If the girl or woman fails to answer any of the above questions correctly, then she is to be immediately cuttoff from you, you can’t place a bet on her, you will will will loose everytime! So if you have taken her number give it back, walk away reduce the temptation and give it to a girl who is worthy of your heart body and soul.

So, therefore, gentlemen,

When you have 42% of young black women to choose from you can afford to be picky, be picky this is a life long commitment, and you want your prefferences in place for the legnthiest time of happiness, which is based on having your wants and needs in the ‘Character of a Woman’ not getting with just the ‘Phatest booty’ to come to find out that she doesn’t even like her people and you are one of them; hahahahahahaha, that phat ass is all you’ll see coz she’ll be leaving the first racist who wants to insult you through using or taking your woman. Don’t give her that chance to insult even one of us a first time.

Thank you ladies,

Naji~

@uncut_videos: babe there are plenty of beautiful, educated, positive BLACK WOMEN out there and you will meet your queen and have those babies. NO ONE IS PERFECT so don’t look for perfection. Hey, if a white woman is your preference, so be it. I have to admitt, I have learn so much in my few experiences of dating. At the age of 31, I can honestly say that there is more to live than the common. Some things just don’t come the common way. I say that any GREAT black man who is GOD FEARING with a strong head on his shoulders, career minded, goal oriented, potentials, respectful, considerate, HAPPY, compromising ( and these are just the basics) is a plus for me. We take for granted certain things in life and over look others.

I wonder how many women in this video will really go on to have children.

And if every woman in the world followed their foot steps, then the human species would simply die out, because women would cease to reproduce. But yet this is the “madness” that so many professional Black women embrace.

A woman who seeks to have children in a family is more important to the future of humanity than a woman who seeks to have a career.

What these women have done is put their greatest gift on the back burner….creating life. They spent years and years burying their heads in their careers, and now that their biological clocks are running out, they wanna cry the lonely woman song (aka reproduce.)

PS. IMO, this is why Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world…because when a man is courted by Islam, he is actually courted with the prospect of finding a good wife. And this is coming from a non-Muslim….

@truthbazer: if you don’t mind, can you describe to me what your definition of a ‘good wife’ is? This is definately quoted in the bible. I am just curious of our meaning. You can post or send me a note.

just like a sista to get all offensive when they hear the truth ….I guess thats why you are in your pic wit cheap makeup on and a weave wit your big crusty @ss lips you look broke…..like I said it’s women like you whi sit and talk dat sh*t but thats all you are doin yappin your big mouth just like alotta other sistas….eat a Dyck

@chictatious1

12-29-2009 2:00 am
projectboy…whatever your name is and you actually sound as ignorant as your screen name. i dont care what you think of me and you are by far frm attractive. its blk boys like you that make blk men as whole not attractive men. only women with no self esteem would welcome you. im not going to converse on a level of yours that is merely farfetched as your aura. quite frankly i could care less who you would decide to date and you do blk women a favor by sacrificing yourself to another race, so they can deal with you lol! just excuse yourself and carry on to your own unheard opinions that are irrelevant.

Summer So Fine….

A good wife is a woman who lives for her family above anything else, and the primary way in which she does this is by being obediant to her husband, who is the head of the family.

It’s just like any other social order or ogranization…you support the organization by supporting its
leader. The man is the leader of the house hold. Once the man’s leadership is usurped, the family either falls apart, or the family ceases to have a real man in the house entirely (and if you don’t have a real man in the house, then what is his purpose?)

A good wife is exactly how Christianity and Islam says…obey and submit to your husband.

Black men, I’m telling you….if you’re with a woman that doesn’t believe in this core value, dump her.

PS. My message is only directed at non-Black feminist men. Black femminst men…who are running around painting these absurd pictures of Black men washing Black women’s feet…I really have no words for you.

Azrael3, if you’re no longer dating and don’t intend to get married are having casual sex or are you celibate?

Are you happy with your solution?

There’s just too many women to choose from. With these types of statistics , why settle for just one? Since all the single ladies already know what’s up w/the brothers, all the married women need to bring their games up so they don’t get left out in the rotation. Even my 71 year old mother was out in the yard scrapin’ in the suburb, with a 20 twenty-something chick from the hood
who was trying to steal her old, old man. Nana won that round, she’s tough with that walker. She’s got a heart condition and we didn’t think all that fussin was good for her, so we bought her a taser for Xmas…don’t say I didn’t warn ya….all the single ladies, put your hands up! Grampy’s popscicle sticked-rubber band unit is off the market.

@Truth_Blazer

I completely agree with that.

12-30-2009 6:17 pm
Summer So Fine….
A good wife is a woman who lives for her family above anything else, and the primary way in which she does this is by being obediant to her husband, who is the head of the family.
It’s just like any other social order or ogranization…you support the organization by supporting its
leader. The man is the leader of the house hold. Once the man’s leadership is usurped, the family either falls apart, or the family ceases to have a real man in the house entirely (and if you don’t have a real man in the house, then what is his purpose?)
A good wife is exactly how Christianity and Islam says…obey and submit to your husband.
Black men, I’m telling you….if you’re with a woman that doesn’t believe in this core value, dump her.
PS. My message is only directed at non-Black feminist men. Black femminst men…who are running around painting these absurd pictures of Black men washing Black women’s feet…I really have no words for you.

Here are my thoughts on what is a major contributor to the problem of these particular type of women. The men that these women are supposed to marry– by the time those men graduate college they’re already scooped up. They are not waiting until they are older to decide to look for a permanent mate. And there’s where the double standard lies. They can afford to do that. Men can marry early, have kids and, have the wife take care of the kids while they pursue their careers. Women are unable to do this. No upwardly mobile man (the type they are looking for) is going to stay home child-rearing while his wife advances her own career. Coupled with everything else these women are truly in a bind.

WOW, almost 1,000 comments! I wonder if they’re gonna do a study of why some successful Black Men are still single! And did this study mention that those 42 % women are more than likely dealing w/some real baggage (i.e mentally, physically and emotionally)? The women in this piece more than likely grew up in single parents homes, thus, not seeing how to treat, respect, cherish and boost up the ‘right’ black man (when she was dating him, etc)!!

Maybe Spike, Lee or Tyler will do a piece on successful, single black men!!

PS: Why does that keep coming up: the number of black men gay and in jail? Hmm!! If a successful, single sista can’t find the same of the opposite sex, shouldn’t studies be done about her/them?

Ok, Ok, I read your responce. Well, it’s been real. After all the fumes in this forum, I hope that the comments give some sort of thought instead of discouragemet towards relationships with the same race, opposite sex. For me, it left some insight and it is ALWAYS great to hear how other people feel and/or think especially black men since I am a black female. Your comments will not be forgotten. Will catch ya tomorrow.

african women born in america do to slavery and there half breed counterparts mistkanely referd to as black are single for many reasons one big one is

they wanna be like other races of women and they do not know how to be a real african woman

they try and many succeed to become like other races and henece they are single.

many african women have low self esteem thus there obssession with fake hair nails lips skin bleaching etc

bottom line i dont want know race of woman who wants to be like another race of woman

perms,skin bleaching,lack of excersise and doing yoga martial arts and other fun things which promote sweat and a healthy body many african women do not do especially african american women.

All the men on here are saying what black women are doing wrong and what they dont and do like….so why ru females arguing with them??…this is exactly why they go to other races…i dont get it yall got 30 pages worth of s***t to go by…if i was single id be takin notes but hey thats just me….i gotta ring on it…so do u! It comes a time where you need to shut up and listen sometimes…blk females have gotten so independent that its hard to accept a man into your life when youve been takin care of home for so many yrs alone…the scripture in the bible where it says to submit to your husband doesnt mean jump when he says jump and do whatever he says even when hes wrong…it just means to let a man be a man and be the head of the household…i know thats hard to do but if you have a good strong man to help you then let him! Ive already posted some things earlier but i just dont understand why yall are arguing in a post like this…i dont even want to imagine what u would say to eachother face to face…i see why so many blk women are still single!

We are in this state because black men know what needs to be done, but they will not take responsibility because they are reaping sooo many positive benefits for behaving badly. Our men know that commitments SHOULD be made, they just don’t want to be the one that commits.They have been deceived and do not know that marriage is a blessing from God, not the end to some v****abuffet.
Strong black families will lead to strong black communities. But it has to happen one marriage at a time.

@shango24…you are too funny…lol…not all blk women are the same just like all wht women arent the same and all blk men arent either…yea im considered blk but my great grandmother was cherokee indian and my great grandfather was irish so are they of african decent?? Am I?? Everyone is mixed with something…no race is pure so you sound ignorant…if you dont want a race of women that want to be like another then i guess you dont date wht women either cuz they use their real hair to create blk women styles all the time…they tan to be our skin tone…they get lip injections to have bigger lips and they get a** implants to have a bigger butt so your ignorant to that fact also…oh and wht women get perms too…lol…it just makes their hair curly not straight! I dont have fake hair eyes nails etc. and yes im overweight but i excercise 4 days a week and i do pilates and eat right…now why am i overweight?? maybe because my mother and my grandmother and so on were overweight and my grandmother is 85 yrs old and in perfect health and so am i. Obesity doesnt always come from being lazy it can come from heredity. YOU NEED TO READ A BOOK CUZ YOUR ONE STUPID MF!

@terren

No, you sound ignorant…

You are the one complaining about Black women being single and you don’t have a woman. Stop complaining and step your game up. You can say whatever you want about the woman, because at the end of the day you couldn’t get her if you wanted to. The truth hurts.

i c dis crap is still HOT lol… *sighs* still blaming each other for BS…all thats needed is RESPECT AND COMMON SENSE ; ) The way i see it as one of these black men on here has said b4 many of u men apparently don’t know the difference between a BLACK WOMAN and a HOODRAT!!! I gives a damn about any brother who wants to step off to another race of women, it is what it is! It’s like u men make these comments about its a MANS WORLD and a man will be a man. Saying women give up the pssy 2 quick, having to many babies out of wedlock, I’M THINKN THAT EVEN IF THE HOES DID GIVE IT UP TO FAST, U STILL HIT IT RIGHT??? Even though u shouldn’t have to..how about being that man to tell these kind of women to have more respect for themselves??? THATS A SLAP IN THE FACE lol but instead im sure u fck’em then want to complain about it later *HMMMM* I DON’T THINK MANY OF U DISLIKE BLACK WOMEN AS MUCH AS U THINK…BECAUSE IF SO..WE WOULDN’T BE READING THESE COMMENTS FROM UR ASSES, AND U WOULDN’T BE ON HERE…JUST MY THOUGHT! WHAT IT IS, IS A BUNCH OF BITTERSWEET/LOVE/HATE ASS EMOTION GOING AROUND, TO MANY PEOPLE HAVE DEALT WITH BS BOTH WAYS…IT HAPPENS…I’M DEFINITELY ONE WHO WOULDN’T MIND LETTING THE MAN BE THE MAN…BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT BEING A REAL MAN IS THEN WHAT??? DEAL WITH IT?? UHHH NAH!!! HELL MY POPS IS A REAL MAN..SO I KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR….AND MANY “MEN” JUST DON’T *HAVE IT* SOME OF YOU ARE HIGHLY MISTAKEN..JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A P***S DOESN’T MAKE U A MAN, ITS MAKES YOU A MALE ; )
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME ANY1 WOULD SHOW RESPECT TO SOMEONE WHO’S DISH’N OUT BS TOWARDS THEM?? GIVE RESPECT TO GET IT ; ) THERE’S A LOT OF DISRESPECT ON BOTH PARTS BLACK MEN AND WOMEN LET ALL THAT BS GO AND THINGS WILL BE BETTER. HELL I KNOW THERE ARE SOME HOE ASS, GHETTO, LOUD MOUTH ASS, BLACK WOMEN WHO JUST MAKE US ALL LOOK BAD AND IT’S SICKENING..JUST LIKE THERE ARE HOE ASS, STUCK UP ASS, STUPID, LOST, BLACK MEN HELL IT HAPPENS…I DON’T JUDGE JUST KEEP YOUR DISTANCE HAHA
THE WAY I SEE IT….ANY PERSON I COME ACROSS WE’RE *BRAND NEW* CLEAN SLATE AS U COULD SAY HAHA….UNTIL THEY MESS THAT UP…THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE ; )

@show2night

I don’t see how anything in your post to me was directed at me at all. Was your response an attempt to make you feel better about dissing Black women and dating outside of the race? If that is the case then it was an epic failure son.

PURRFECTLADY AND ANUBIS YOU ARE THE FEW PEOPLE HERE I SEE POSTING THAT I AGREE WITH . THIS COMMENT IS FOR THE BROTHERS WHO ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT SISTAS. ITS SIMPLE WHY DONT U JUST DATE WHITE WOMEN . YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT US THERE ARE PLENTY OF BROTHERS WHO ARE NOT INTIMIDATED AND SHALLOW. AS ONE SISTA SAID THE ONES COMPLAING ABOUT WOMEN BEING GOLD DIGGERS ARE BROKE AS HELL AND AINT GOT A POT TO PISS IN OF THERE OWN. STOP POSTING ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU HATE SISTAS ( I THINK SOME OF YOU MAY NOT LIKE WOMEN AT ALL)AND GO AHEAD AND CROSS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE AND DO YOU. PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE GO GET A WHITE WOMAN JUST MAKE SURE WHEN WE WALK BY AND YOUR STANDING WITH HER DONT BREAK YOUR NECK TRYING TO STARE AT A SISTA.

There is quite a bit of men on here complaining and saying that women need to let the man head the household. If you complain that much you don’t need to head anything. Too many of you are too ashamed and too prideful to date a woman that makes more money than you. You all got to feel like a man. Your woman has to be obedient lol. It sounds like you want dogs to rule over. Many of you are getting so emotional over strong Black women taking the lead and demanding to have a strong Black brotha by her side that meets HER qualifications. The problem is many of you just want to be able to point to a woman and have her be yours just because YOU said so. When you snap back to reality and find out it doesn’t work that way you throw hissy fits. I swear a lot of the men posting here are their periods. SMH

if you have so many complaints abo0ut the black woman why are you still trying to get between her legs? Go get you a white woman .. We wont loose any sleep behind it. A real King will take nothing less than a Queen anyway he would never settle for an animal…

@catgirlTX

Many of these men are dating White and Asian and Latino women. Some Black women must have hurt them badly because all they do is put down Black women. I say if your White woman does you that good then you don’t need to spend hours talking about Black women. These same men think that Black women care when they walk by with a White woman on their arm. If Black women didn’t care before why would they care then? Their logic is so flawed and it is blatantly obvious they need and crave the attention of Black women. Black women are just that great that they got these men all messed up lol

Let’s Do this exercise:

Black men:
1. Write down all quality women that you have dealt or are dealing with.
2. Write down the reasons that you will not or did not commit to them OTHER THAN being afraid that you will miss out on the next big butt. Don’t BS yourself, be completely honest.

Herein lies the problem. Quit embracing the “problems” with black women(which are actually excuses for your own failures and phobias), and start appreciating and protecting the beauty that we possess.We are yours to love and protect. And we are longingly waiting for you to fulfill your roles as the men we know you can be! We love you!

well put ma’am!!! i know its some brothas that CAN ADMIT that they’ve bs’d some good women…but only if they’re honest with themselves ; ) lets see lol

Thanks, sis!!! We’ll see!!!

shango24, No love, I think you got that one wrong about US being obsessed with fake hair,nails, etc…It is MEN who are obsessed with it. Thats why women are going out getting implants..thats not to make women feel better its to attract MEN who are stuck on fat azzes,hips,thighs,breasts. We are naturally born with whatever God and DNA gave us, it is you all that turn the tide by insulting thin women who are ‘flat’ in the chest, you insult women who are flat behind, have no hourglass figure etc, you insult bigger women who dont have shapes like Tyra banks or nikki minaj. Remember when we are born and are children we could care less about how we look as long as momz kept us clean and well dressed we were just fine..When we start dealing with MEN is when the obsession starts. The fact that we want to get our hair done or some that get thier nails done does not equate low self esteem at all…its just us wanting to look a certain way at that time. Do all men that want to wear the latest clothing,drive cars with rims etc..also have low self esteem? I think not, those men just want to look good, OR hmmmm, are they obsessed with rims,timbs and BIGG AZZ CHAINS……

Why some ladies put comments of dudes that they said bout luv tall, sexy, nice body and cute…huh? Not regular dudes! I know some single women and moms tried downlow to have sex with male strippers or broke dudes before they left without said nuthin bout honesty to good men..huh? That why men have no respect to blk women and wont marry them anyway.. And I wont spending them either! Its time for women get own money and pay own things b***hes! Dont f**k asking for good or business men money! Get f**kin ya life b***hes peace!!!

@show2night
I don’t see how anything in your post to me was directed at me at all. Was your response an attempt to make you feel better about dissing Black women and dating outside of the race? If that is the case then it was an epic failure son.

@ anubis_noir, Adversary, Please keep my name out your mouth your not worthy of even speaking to me about whom I date ( you CLEO!! now). Secondly, dumba** not one of my posting has been directed to My Mothers, Sisters and Queens = Earth (Black woman) NEGATIVELY. It is actually the OPPOSITE read my post moron before you decide to bring a butter knife to a gun fight.

huh@blkswagg : |

@neva1betta

Tell ya friends…Stop being picky and thinking lame person looks! Go talk to natural guys and get s**t together right!

100% single and proud of it so all those negative theory that have been placed upon the black woman can also apply to the black man.

The funniest/dummiest comments always typed on internet is when azzes assume that black women are just popping babies out of their vi-vi(puzzie) not happening without sperm donors and if there are

(do the math) women with many kids than DUH that equals many men with many kids oh wait I forgot some men don’t even claim their kids no wonder some are so f ucken quick to say black women have too many kids keep counting and do it right

(disclaimer: to the spell check pro’s I dont fu cken care if my grammar or spelling is correct unless your hiring or perfect and can walk on water I don’t give a f uck stick to the f ucken topic.)

@show2night

dog…lol

wtf are you talking about then? You directed a negative post towards me when I wasn’t degrading Black women. In that same post you talked a whole bunch of nonsense making it look like you wanted White women.

You need to take your own advice idiot “read my post moron before you decide to bring a butter knife to a gun fight.”

Why did you respond to me to begin with??

bottom line i dont want know race of woman who wants to be like another race of woman
perms,skin bleaching,lack of excersise and doing yoga martial arts and other fun things which promote sweat and a healthy body many african women do not do especially african american women.

waggalicious30

YOU ARE A HALF BREED BOTTOM LINE

YOUR INSECURITY FORCED YOU TO SPEW FOOLISHNESS OF COURSE WE ARE R MIXED TO SOME DEGREE BUT AS LONG AS SOME OF MIXED OR LESS MIXED THEN OTHERS IT WILL CREATE DIFFRENT FACIAL FEATURES,SKIN TONES,HAIR TEXTURES ETC

SO JUST BECAUSE I AM MIXED WAY DOWN THE LINE WITH ASIAN,ARAB,EUROPEAN ETC

THE WAY MY HAIR AND SKIN TONE AND FACIAL FEATURE CONNETS ME WITH THE AFRICAN RACE SILLY

african women born in america do to slavery and there half breed counterparts mistkanely referd to as black are single for many reasons one big one is
they wanna be like other races of women and they do not know how to be a real african woman
they try and many succeed to become like other races and henece they are single.
many african women have low self esteem thus there obssession with fake hair nails lips skin bleaching etc

YOU ARE A HALF BREED YOU HAVE NO CONTINENT U R FROM UNLIKE ME AND EVERY OTHER COCO OR DARK BLACK OR NESTLY WESLY SNIPES SISTER OR BROTHER WE ARE FROM AFRAKA,ALTHOGH HALF BREEDEDS WERE CREATED IN AFRAKA THREW RAPE AS ELSE WHERE U HAVE NO RECOGNIZED HOME.

HALF BREED KNO R PLACE.

CaliFemme23

THERE IS TRUTH TO WHAT SAY

BUT AFRICAN WOMEN WORLD WIDE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY EAT NATURAL FOOD AND NOT FAST FOODS ARE BLESSED WITH BIG JUCY PHAT ASSES AND NICE BREAST AND JUCY LOOKING V****A’S SO FOR YOU TO BE upset abot us wanting what is natrual for our race,is lunacy.

also if african women world wide dont have enoungh sense to know there are brothers out here like myself who r disgusted by perms and fake hair then they deserve to be single or taken by some obssessive self hating i.d.o.i.t.

they should know a real sista is going to get a real brotha bottom line.

stop making things so difficult.

there are plenty african women with locs ,baldheads,natural hairstyles who are having great sex and marriege relationships with us afrakan men.

the ones who have problems its becase they r wrong within side themselfs.

stop blaming others the writing is on the wall why sisters are single in america

i wonder why women in africa are not single as much?

or women from the islands?

stop blaming others for your being uncapable of only recgonizing the problem and not the soulution.

by the way my love life and relationship with sisters in genearal is great

from gangster sisters to afrocentrik yoga tennis playing sistas.

dont beleive the hype

Both side are wrong on this matter.We must first look at whom we are inside, We are the only race that is not unified. We let the media and law destroy us mentally which effects us socially. It does not matter about the finance, but more about the self respect and discipline. I remember the old brothers and sisters talking about when we were united for eachother, but somewhere between welfare and drugs we lost our path. Feminism and chauvinism ruin ppl. Everyone talkin about money when half of you dont really have anything to bring to the table, and then you talk what can you do for me. DO FOR YOURSELF. My sista stay strong but at times keep silent let the idiots show themselves fromt their speach. Brothers Stand firm you are meant to care for the sisters and to rule the world.

@CaliFemm23 Get ‘Em Girl took the words right outta my mouth!!

Maybe because 68 % of the men are players or on some downlow s**t, so that leaves me in the 42% range as a single to mingle black man looking for a queen! soulmate that is!!

I aggree with Harvey. If u make 150k and I make 75k thats not good enough. lol and no I don’t make that much but still. A man who can feed ur spirit is worth more than the dollar

@SHANGO…I mean SHAMEFUL dont respond to my posts anymore you brainwashed no p***y gettin loser…your a idiot!! BETTER YET SINCE AFRIKAN WOMEN ARE SOOO GREAT….TAKE YA ASS BACK…WONT NOBODY MISS U! As blk people its a shame that we discriminate against eachother more than wht ppl do these days. With all this African and light skinned brown skinned and dark skinned and half breeds…this is sad and pathetic. I was sympothizing with the mens point of view at first but lookin at this s**t. I feel sorry for our blk race as a whole. It is so sad to watch all these beautiful blk ppl arguing and bickering amongst eachother! Tearing down eachother doesnt solve anything it just makes us look bad. Reading this im so grateful that i found my husband…a strong blk god fearing man that holds me and my sons down at any cost! Ladies raise your boys to be respectful strong men…weve had to do it on our own for so long and have succeeded…keep holdin it down…with or without a man!

Its hard to find a good man who is interested in a long term monogamous relationship. People today do not have the morals and values of the days of old. Black women are finding themselves in the role of being the breadwinner of the family, solely raising the children, and in some cases being like a mother figure for the man. Too many men want women to take care of them (pamper them). This brings us to one question: If I have to make all the money, raise the kids, take care of all responsibilities, and take care of my man like another kid and he’s not doing anything for me…why do I really need a man? Am I that desperate? If you have children and finally think you’ve found that ideal man, be careful…you might be bringing home a Woody Allen (Mia Farow’s long time boyfriend who raised/slept with their underaged adopted daugther and eventually married the daughter) or Jonathan Plummer (gay man who married Terry McMillian, author of How Stella Got Her Groove Back). If you are single with children, it’s hard to know what man you can really trust. These days, if you think you have found a man who meets some of the ideal qualities just make sure he’s not molestering the son or daughter. Its just sad.

in all honesty from my exp, a woman’s expectation of a good man from teen to tween is awkward and ass backwards. This is when a woman’s phyisque is at its apex. By time she has that epiphany as to what she really wants or what a man is (by then she’s much older and established), she’s generally to late as she done either bunned up with a loser and is trapped, she let herself go so her heart is in the right place but her body isnt, low self esteem, lost touch of the social scene and life, and/or unfortunately is her second child hood still.

I really believe that media plays a major role in what a man is, for example in movies: a man is someone perfectly romantic and spontaneous and is always on que for humor and charmingly intelligent with total devotion to one woman with a heart of gold and must say extrodinarily handsome

in music: he has a job, he’s hustling so he gets his money 3 ways, king dingaling, he aint no b***h, yeah he got jump offs but he comes back to you in the end, he supports you, takes you shopping all day, etc…

total contridiction and can be confusing to youth(s). im 24 and i’ve seen it all. but i really think in the end black woman seem to have ridiculous requirements in the wrong department compared to other women who care about what matters. I think black women spend ALOT of time judging a book by its cover, unlike guys despite what our preferences are we’ll still read the book if presented to us regardless of what our status is in life and whether status quo was achieved!

+2 to blaqphox

Too many bulldaggers…PEACE.

women should stop getting relationship advice from anyone other than their self.

if women want to know about men they should ask a man.

the reson why they are single is they want to control the man but he dont want to be controlled
and thats why they are single they forget that we were thinking on our own before we met them.

@swaggalicious30, anubis_noir and catgirlTX

swagg don’t let that nonsense bother you, we all knowingly or unknowingly may not have pure bloodlines all the way back to Africa who the hell cares, this is 2009 not the 1860 when there were field and house negros. Now with you anubis, brotha just because a man complains about the shortcomings about the woman that this blog is about doesn’t mean that we are ashamed or have too much pride. Money and success doesn’t make a man of the house and being the man of the house doesn’t mean you make the most money or have more status than your wife, it has everything to do with what swaggalicious said earlier on 12/30 @7:50pm, here’s something important she said “the scripture in the bible where it says to submit to your husband doesn’t mean jump when he says jump and do whatever he says even when he’s wrong…it just means to let a man be a man and be the head of the household”. Brotha I don’t believe most men have a problem with a woman making more money than they do and sometimes taking the wheel sometimes, it’s the attitude that many of them have that’s accompanied with this success that turns a lot of us off. Now catgirlTX, just because us brothas have complaints doesn’t mean that we want woman of other races or that we are afraid or somehow intimidated by a successful black women, we just want woman to LISTEN more to what’s important to us black man that are considered what most of you woman consider a good catch.

I leave with this, swagg keep on doin you and don’t let some ignorant comment get under your skin, Anubis, brutha I got 20 yrs of experience on you, and probably have been with more women than you will ever be with and I mean this with no disrespect. But listen to other guys point of view based on their experience being that you are obviously still relatively young. CatgirlTX, please don’t resort to putdowns and insults just because a brotha has a point of view that you don’t agree with or like. I personally love sista’s and have exclusively only dated sista’s, but just because I’m trying to point out faults that you may disagree with as well as some of the other brothas on here doesn’t mean you should automatically assume we don’t want you all or scared of you all.

I do think (although this isnt just black women) most black women can be mean, and when they are young are very picky. I know because I have a sister who’s 29, and she even said she would only go for the pretty boys, real tall guys but when she got older she lowered her standards. That kinda upsets me because the lady in the video said the same thing, and it lets me know how women really think. I honestly think women would date anyone who’s tall enough even if they dont like their personality as much thats why so many women you may approach might treat you like your nothing. Women often say they are judged because they are fat or something but thats something you can change if you want, but for a man to be judged by a women for something he cant change to me really sucks but thats how it is. Makes it harder to be the kind of confident man you want to be. It’s like why do women even have babies if they know they might end up as short men if they genetically are getting short genes? I know that sounds kinda crazy but

Anyway im rambling I wanted to post this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XxUxY-QaZQ

@Johnthejo: Don’t trip over none of that stuff, honestly people have ideas as to what they want. You should not let your height make you feel like any less of a man. You have to recognize the things that make you special and build on those things. Focus on being a success in life as a whole. Recognize that females come and they go, the ones you want are are the ones that want you.

There are lots of reasons why so many black females are by themselves, some of those reasons are their faults and some of them are ours. You got lots of females out here that are better at being hoes then wives, no one want to marry those. You got ones that are into the career thing and they aint looking to be married to no one, at least not until it’s too late for them and then it’s like oh well. You have others than constantly choose the wrong mates and those that don’t know how to assume a woman’s role in a man’s life. We got all types. It is what it is and it is just a microcosm of the issues in our society as a whole.

We are single because other races are intimidated by us, and we have little to no option when it comes to black men.

@BLEWEYEZ…that loser didnt get under my skin…there are just alot of ignorant people out here and im use to losers like him….but thanx for the advice boo;-)

I think successful blacks (well, women) do have higher standards. Why shouldn’t they? When other races let their desires and demands known, no one get mad about their higher standards. Everyone should marry in their social class, imo.

im sorry but after reading the very first comment by i think califemme23, i gotta say “wtf”. did you watch the video those four women aren’t obsessing over it but they were concerned and a little upset that they were single. who wants to be by themselves at that age? any woman who says they’re proud to be by themselves is just saving face for the lack of compatability they could find to fit their needs or situation. This is a very good topic just off the strength that despite the lack of selection of good black males, the men don’t seem to really have this issue. We’re far more open minded and accepting than women will ever be, which is why we as men have a much wider and abundance of selection of mates whether we date outside or inside the race. You bodied yourself with your first comment.

Due to white peoples fear of a strong black man, they’ve been givng black women jobs that otherwise would be held by black men. This type of stuff goes to there heads. They constantly fly off the handle about what they got and what a black man needs in order to be with them. They even go as far as saying, “it aint no good black men,”if nobody meets “there” standard or wants to be bothered with them. I think these women should be right where they at; alone throwing waiting to exhale parties. Work on your attitude. Stop being superficial. We as Black men have much bigger problems. Like: will I be killed for driving while black. Can I take the on job racial discrimination much longer or will these white people glaring at me hire me. etc

shango24
12-30-2009 11:56 pm
bottom line i dont want know race of woman who wants to be like another race of woman
perms,skin bleaching,lack of excersise and doing yoga martial arts and other fun things which promote sweat and a healthy body many african women do not do especially african american women.
waggalicious30
YOU ARE A HALF BREED BOTTOM LINE
YOUR INSECURITY FORCED YOU TO SPEW FOOLISHNESS OF COURSE WE ARE R MIXED TO SOME DEGREE BUT AS LONG AS SOME OF MIXED OR LESS MIXED THEN OTHERS IT WILL CREATE DIFFRENT FACIAL FEATURES,SKIN TONES,HAIR TEXTURES ETC
SO JUST BECAUSE I AM MIXED WAY DOWN THE LINE WITH ASIAN,ARAB,EUROPEAN ETC
THE WAY MY HAIR AND SKIN TONE AND FACIAL FEATURE CONNETS ME WITH THE AFRICAN RACE SILLY
african women born in america do to slavery and there half breed counterparts mistkanely referd to as black are single for many reasons one big one is
they wanna be like other races of women and they do not know how to be a real african woman
they try and many succeed to become like other races and henece they are single.
many african women have low self esteem thus there obssession with fake hair nails lips skin bleaching etc
YOU ARE A HALF BREED YOU HAVE NO CONTINENT U R FROM UNLIKE ME AND EVERY OTHER COCO OR DARK BLACK OR NESTLY WESLY SNIPES SISTER OR BROTHER WE ARE FROM AFRAKA,ALTHOGH HALF BREEDEDS WERE CREATED IN AFRAKA THREW RAPE AS ELSE WHERE U HAVE NO RECOGNIZED HOME.
HALF BREED KNO R PLACE.

they r single because they perm there hair bleach there skin are nder cover gays

bad parents whom create homosexuals and gangbangers they are unworthy which is why they try and look like other races of women

bottom line a strong afrakan sister(not kno half breed like marrah carry) will always have good dyck and good relationships with us brothers. bottom line

shango24, WTF are you even saying? Seriously, besides your lack of command of the english language (try using punctuation and correct spelling, you doof), you don’t even know how to link your reasons together to give a cohesive argument.

And WTF does a “multi-racial” woman have to do with anything, you moron?

Peter_Black
12-31-2009 1:26 pm
Due to white peoples fear of a strong black man, they’ve been givng black women jobs that otherwise would be held by black men

…Once again, a dumb ass negro who espouses rhetoric and hyperbole based on misinformation. Black women and OTHER minority women got jobs because when there WAS a quota system, we killed two birds with one stone (race and gender).

OK, here’s the deal. When considering the fact that corporate America caters more toward educated black women, while the criminal justice America caters more toward black males, This leaves a huge gap in the pool of eligible black men for black women to choose from. The question remains though, is this a coincidence? not at all in my opinion.

Steve harvey was correct when he said that educated black women should perhaps consider dating older men in their 40′s who are more stable and focused on family rather than the typical baby maker black male who often thinks with his crotch in hand.However, i disagree that the women should give up on black men entirely and start dating white men who they have even less compatability eventhough the black women are socially assimilated to the standards of white and corporate america.

If black women who are socially assimilated to white america, then they should consider dating the black male who is the manager at burger king, rather than holding out for the one who is equally assimilated in corperate america because they hardly exist on purpose. In closing, Black males are an endangered species and black women should not be so fast to jump ship. It is your sacred duty to stand by your man through the fire, and to limit. because if you do not, then the black race and family will slowly disappear off the map without the presence of two of the same kind. your answer is not always in the white man as these women seem to think. that’s actually an insult if you ask me. It’s easy for a white guy to step up and play whitey in shining armor when the entire infrastructure of american is designed to ensure his success.
questions?

Black Love

P.s. Lol, lol, lol !! Azrael3 vs. shango24

Although statistically, for those who are in denial, black males are discriminated against at a higher rate than black women,white women,and white men regardless of their education level. you can insert your own reasoning (Azrael) but discrimination is not a fairy tale created by paranoid black men.

Azrael3

i dont know wether ur a man or a woman for i dont care enough to go to ur page hence my kit list on blackplanet is sky high

but your argment i dont even get it well yes i do but its not on my level for me to sprey my venom to you.

really i dont even kno what to say i could destroy u like ove done so many on here but u have to step ur game up to get me a little aggressive.

this is a warning

The_Donlamb, if that is the case, please cite your sources re: discrimmination amongst black men than black women. I never said that discrimmination does not happen. HOWEVER, those at the decision-making level in Corporate America took advantage of hiring non-white women (again, they satisfied both the race and gender quota).

I’m sick of many black men using discrimmination as an excuse and always pointing fingers at everyone but themselves. Like I said before, learn to read, write and work on your communication skills. Stop being so goddamn confrontational with your (white) employers because you think that to acquiesce is a sign of being an Uncle Tom. Stop smoking weed and drinking, hanging out with your “boys” and open up a f**king book or a news magazine. Get a higher education–yes, believe the hype, having a higher degree DOES pay off. I’m not saying that you don’t have to have a degree to be successful, but many of you guys who are over the age of 30 still think that you are going to break into the rap scene. How about breaking into the health profession scene or the science scene? Half of you probably probably probably didn’t even know what a fixed mortgage rate was based on until the damn market tumbled–and you still probably don’t. Why, then, would an educated black woman waste her time on someone like you?

And The_Donlamb, with all due respect, hon, Steve Harvey is feeding women a banquet of b.s. There is no way I am going to date a man who is more than 5 years my senior.

As for dating a black man who is a manager at Burger World simply because he is black, I am not going to hold out for Supernegro to come and rescue me. For one thing, I am not interested in getting married and stopped dating a couple of months ago (for reasons that have nothing to do with not being able to find a great guy), so that lessens my load. However, if I were to be on the market, I can assure you that I will remain open to any man who approaches me, as I have had in the past.

Shango_24, the only danger you present is that to yourself, which is being a jackass. Seriously, it took me four attempts to read your last post (I’ll take a semi-colon for $500, Alex). Consider what to be a warning? Sweetie, you’re a joke. You get on this board and go off on some tangent about “half-breeds”. I bet you are one of those people who wasn’t liked when you were younger…probably had a complex about your skin tone because of other kids (those bastards, want me to beat them up for you?) and somehow you took all that negativity and tried to make it positive (do we have the Nation to thank for your anti-whiteness?).

So what kind of venom will you be spewing, Shogun? I can’t wait…a written assault by an adult illiterate…wow.

the above number is skewed to educated black women. when you add black women with high school diploma and above the number is 70-75%. That number hasnt change in this decade except more black women are educated and part of white men’s corporate amerikkka.

Ok Azareal, i don’t think you wanna go there but her you go. http://www.imdiversity.com
you can get all your statistics there.First of all, your intellectual point of view is lost in your angry outburst of profanity.It’s no wonder you are single, and i doubt you are black as i read your bi-polar rants. You come off as if you are the poster child for intelligent argument, and that everyonelse here is illiterate.
You use stereotypcal assumptions that black men are preoccupied with smoking weed and drinking alcohol.These are all assumptions that feeds racism and discrimination in the work place and beyond.And for your information,you assume that i have a white boss, well i’m a counselor (LPC) who work for noone but myself so i don’t have to worry about any confrontation with anyone but myself much like what you are doing now.
When someone has no cause for argument to counteract a proven fact, they resort to outburst of profanity,and sometimes violence. In other words as they say, ” the truth hurts” instead of your adolescent outburst, why not go to the eeoc’s website and do your reasearch since you’re so intelligent, and everyonelse are just primative neanderthals in your presence. And i know you didn’t go there with the fixed rate mortgage nonsense. As you said to shango.. what the $$3 does that have to do with the subject at hand? Knowing what a fixed mortgage is does not confirm nor exclude one’s intelligence. in closing, if i was out on a dinner date with you,and you displayed this very profane side of your personality, you would be sitting at the table all by your angry self. This conversation is over! so now you can return to your utopia where racism, and adversity does not exist, and everyone but you are paranoid, dillusional ,illiterate, acoholic weed heads.

Black Love

p.s. Ms. A I do realize there are typo’s in my last post. so go ahead and defend your white corporate america like a good little black girl, or white.

Black Love

Has anybody else notice when they do a news piece like this they always interview the above average woman. I think one of those women makes 150k a year. Obviously she will have a hard time finding a black man that makes that much. But guess what… she would have a hard time finding a white man that makes that much too. Please people stop watching propaganda like this or black in america on CNN. It’s turning black minds into mush.

First, why is Steve Harvey talking about relationships. He is on his third wife. lol. Women are two selective and put their career’s before family happiness. Instead of looking for the brother with the nice car, house, and big bank account. Look for the brother who has potential. My husband and I knew each other when we did not have nothing and now we have a family, own a home and both have post graduate degrees. Get it together ladies.

I dont have any facts or any statistics to throw up in this blog (to probabky be ignored anyway, lol). I have a very strong oppinnion that black women are single at such a high rate because we are afraid to open our minds to other races for husbands. common sense would tell us that there arent enough black men to go around. If every black woman married a black man (whether they are marriage material or not), there would still be how many unmarried black women left?

Also, the ones available for dating are also being saught after by every other race of woman on the planet. So that lessens the pool even more. The way I see it, a wife has already been chosen for her husband by God himself. Why miss out on Gods blessings becuase he’s not the race you prefer him to be? We need to not be so closed minded. seriously, nobday cares anymore about this interracial dating thing but us. And we are the only ones suffering for it.

My advice to these ladies are look into the immigrant blacks from the carribean like haiti, or africans. These black men are more into marriage and raising a family.

I am a black woman who happens to be single. However ,it’s not by choice. There are a lot of black women who are bitter with nasty attitudes, and that turns black men off. Because black women behave this way, I get put into a catagory that lables black women as negative and hard to deal with. This is very unfair because I love black men and they won’t give me a chance because they automatically assume I’m just like that last no good black girl he was with!

Wef_1977, you’re hearing, but you’re not listening. Even though 42% black of women are not married. 70% of black professional women. It makes sense to focus on the group who’s hardest hit.

Correction: 70% of black professional women are not married.

You know what, I dated a lot of black women when I was single. I am tall (6″8), in good shape with a great build, educated with a post graduate degree and good looking,no children lol. I was coming to the table with a lot and wanted to settle with a good black woman. However the attitudes were horrible. I could never understand the anger and the resentment. Its like you are too good to be true so I am going to s**t on you until the shady side comes out and I would just end up walking away because I don’t need that. That is why I dated women of other races. I came back and dated an African woman because I am an African man and we could relate on a more unique scale. For some black women it seems that the more money they make the bigger they think they are and they can treat you like s**t, even from the first date. I am not domineering, I don’t want your money, I have my own. Its a shame sometimes…

SoularFlarez im giving you the props for those links.its the same things i say daily and no one hears it! Thanks for sharing the knowledge.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only God knows why. If they start obeying Christ, they may become wives. Heck, Black women have been doing it their way (i.e. passing out the coochie) with no success. Hence, they should give Jesus Christ a try since they have nothing to lose.
“Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:28

2 Corinthians 10:7
“The trouble with you is that you make all of your decisions on the basis of appearance”

I know that I have.

Man I can tell you, it seem like most black really arent sure what they want. They could have a good man right there in front but they chose the thug, then when the thug starts becoming abusive then all of a sudden the good man don’t look too bad anymore. They have the most ridiculous standards I have ever heard, personally I will date anyone regardless of race but some black women take offense when the black man goes with another race. Idk but that is where I am at.

yea well…i have a good man…and i love him to death..maybe black women should start changing their attitudes or something…idk. quit keying cars, setting clothes on fire an chasing dudes with knives…whats wrong with yall…smh

I think it may be because a lot of women don’t really know what they want….Some may even have a good man in front of them and still be undecided I know like they say…good guys finish last me being one of them but I would rather finish last with less stress and strain then full with drama dealing with bad people. Its still just 42% you still have the other 58% that’s in a relationship so it can’t be all that bad…you can’t rush love…love takes time and patience.

Random tangent: Check out the african american “Liturature” section of a bookstore and you’ll see… more books are catered to black women than black men.
Think about it the next time you’re in borders…

A LOT OF HYPROCRITES ON HERE KEAVING COMMENTS. I HAVE A CAR, I SUPPORT MYSELF, NO KIDS, 26YRS OLD AND EDUCATED. THE MEN I MEET JUST WANT SEX THAT’S ALL THEY APPROACH ME FOR. . I DON’T KEY CARS, HAVE AN ATTITUDE OR THREATNEN ANYONE. YET I AM SINGLE. HOW DARE SOME OF YOU QUOTE SCRIPTURE AND IN THE SAME SENTENCE USE ALL TYPE OF VULGAR LANGUAGE. I REFUSE TO BE MISTREATED OR PLAYED MAYBE THAT’S WHY I’M SINGLE RIGHT NOW. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY MEN AND WOMEN LIE ABOUT BEING SINGLE. THEY HIDE THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND SOMETIMES THEIR KIDS WHICH IS SO DISHONEST. I TRULY BELIEVE IF YOU LIVE RIGHT AND TAKE IT TO GOD HE WILL DEFITENELY BLESS YOU WITH TRUE LOVE, BECAUSE PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

*LEAVING* NOT KEAVING

@MSSWAGGER26…lol…i like your name…if the guys u attract only want sex then maybe u should look at the way you dress…i know when i use to dress really revealing…i would attract those kinda guys too then i switched it up to casual…u can be sexy ande dress casual as well…i dunno just a suggestion.
@HOKAGE…im married to a good man too and i tried to make the point that u did earlier in a post but the fact of the matter is…most men deserve to get their cars keyed and clothes set on fire…we just found some diamonds in the ruff…most men are interested in JUST SEX like MSSWAGGER26 pointed out and not married despite what they are saying on here.
If you guys are so interested in getting married then why dont you go back and marry your baby mamas that you have 2 and 3 kids with??

More black women are dating white men or idiots and that has has pretty much shut me down as far as me trying to meet anybody.Some black women have crappy attitudes.I was raised to speak because it shows good manners.Most of the time when I say hello to a black woman I get this blank stare and she just keeps moving.Just because I take the time to greet doesn’t mean I’m trying to get digits.I’m not going to resort to being somebody that I’m not to get attention.I have what I can afford and that’s it.I’m a single male who’s never been married and I don’t have any kids and it’s not because I don’t want any,I’ve been at the same job for 14yrs so I can keep a job.It’s not the highest paying job, but it’s work and I handle my biz.It puzzles me when I go out somewhere and I can get a simple greeting from a lady from another race before I get simple smile from my own race.I love black women because I love my own skin, but it sucks when the love doesn’t get returned.

Oh Please! I’ve heard the same statistics since the mid 80′s when I was in college. That’s the mess that keeps Black women willing settle-which no one has to do. Ladies keep your standards, and listen to your instincts when something tells you things aren’t right with a person. And yes, I’ve been married (8 years), divorced (due his drug abuse), lived with someone (until he acted a fool) and am now wearing another ring, getting married next year-to a hard-working Black Man who is not only good to me, but good for me.

How did this happen? I LEARNED from each relationship: the good, bad and ugly- Acknowledged my part in the madness; took time out to heal and moved on. It’s not that hard. There are plenty of good men out there. Don’t believe the hype!