Hello, no i find that a very exciting and beautiful thing. It bring so much to a realtionship and help continue to build strong bonds and commitment for each other.Now it has it’s boundries, it should not become a competition or create friction, each should compliment each other in what ever they do,But never allow it to become a unhealthy in your relationship.

LOL

My opinion is as states and we as black people are not understanding that the too independent black woman is that which was the creation of willie lynch and his manifesto.. now like everything else.. we celebrate it.. if black people would about face as Barack is doing with Bush’s policies.. it might not feel right but it will become real good in the long run… we need loving sisters to make our mates again so we can become a stronger race of people.. not women to believe they are the man… think about it..

There’s nothing wrong with women being independent but it’s alot of black men out there that don’t even want to be the “man”. In my opinion this is why so many of us black women feel that we must become totally dependent on ourselves in order to make it. Don’t get me wrong, as black sisters we are supposed to make our own way and be proud to be the strong sisters that we are but don’t get it twisted that we don’t need a black man because we truly do, however many of our black men are using the “gold digger” cliche’ so that woman don’t ask them for anything nor do they want to provide for us. What are we to do?

I THINK THAT IF U FIND A MAN THAT IS AS SUCCESSFUL AS U MAYBE MORE, THEN THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR THIS QUESTION.SOMETIMES WOMEN CAN POSSESS THAT “IM TOO GOOD FOR YOU MENTALITY”…WELL IF U FEEL THAT WAY,FIND U A MAN THAT IS VERY SUCCESSFUL AND I GUARANTEE U,HE WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED.IF A MAN IS INTIMIDATED BY A WOMAN’S STABILITY THEN U DONT NEED HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! HE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING.IVE OBSERVED THAT SOME WOMEN WILL DATE A GUY KNOWING HIS INCOMPETENCE JUST TO FURTHER BREAK HIM DOWN..ANYWAY,I SAID WHAT I MEANT AND MEANT WHAT I SAID SO IMMA PACK IT UP AND LEAVE.

IDIOS!!!

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IS THAT AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN DOES NOT WANT TO BE HANDLED. SHE WANT’S TO WORK LIKE A MAN, CONTROL THE CONVO,LIKE A MAN,AND F#CK LIKE A MAN, BUT STILL BE TREATED LIKE A WOMAN. BASICALLY A FEMALE GIGILO!! BUT WHO COULD POINT THE BLAME US MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME. BUT WHAT IT NARROWS DOWN TO IS THE SAME WITH A MAN R U WILLING TO BE HANDLED OR SHARE SOME HADLING (RELATIONSHIP)!! OR LET THE FACT THAT EITHER OF U COULD HANDLE UR OWN TAKE EFFECT.

There isn’t anything wrong with being an indepedent woman. The only problem is some women have to understand what that truly means. Being independent means to have your own car, place, money and don’t have to rely on anyone else for the things that are necessary in life to survive. It doesn’t mean your not obligated to receive help (everyone receives help along the way, no matter how successful you are in life) it’s just means your not reliant on getting whatever you want. You do have those independent woman who are alot to deal with. Some independent woman feel that a man who don’t make more money than them, don’t have much to offer them. I don’t think that is true. I don’t think they are too much to handle, but I do think some women misinterpret what it means to be independent.

I LOVE INDEPENDENT WOMAN

I would have to say yes…many independent women are too much to handle : at least the one’s that have the mentality that they dont need a man for anything are. I dont mind a women that takes care of her business. alot of guys are probably afraid of the fact that a woman will rub it in their faces that they make more money then the man. or they will feel like they should make all the decisions in the relationship. I think thats a real reason why many successful women end up alone. I think a relationship can last if roles are defined, who will stay at home with the kids? who will be the breadwinner…who will be the final authority in decisions.

First of all I would think a man would want a woman who doesn’t ask him for anything when she can get it herself.

First of all I would think a man would want a woman who doesn’t ask him for anything because she can get it herself. I do know there are some women who won’t admit that she does need a man. I am not one of these women

There is nothing wrong with an independent woman. I find that trait in a woman attractive. It only gets too much to handle when she constantly reminds us of how independent she is. We all can see how well you are doing. I tip my hat off to you. It shows character, and that you are driven. Just don’t cut us down if we offer to help. Most men still display chilvary. It’s not to say you are weak. It’s just to show you we know you can do for yourself, but you don’t have to be in it alone.

Some men like women who can take care of themselves. Other men like to look after them.. The end. Lol.

I would say yes independent ladies are too much to handle because they feel they can get whatever they want with their own money. The working women of today want know help otherwise they would not turn down the men who offer to help. I figure that should change now with us being in a recession. The women need the help from the men so their attitude about being independent should change.

No one is truly independent….The end.

These so called independant women think their too much and they are stupid by default. They tend to be arrogant and their the ones that always say, “I don’t need a man to[fill in the blank here]“. I think they have male bashing issues. They want to be the man and the woman in the relationship. Most men aint tolerating that. These type of women want to be needy and independant all rolled up in one. They are usually confused as to how a relationship really works. Maybe they need a male opinion instead of going to their girlfriends and usuing the same lingo that makes them single their whole entire lifetime.

I love an independent woman or a woman who has as much as I have. Some “independent women” take it too far and give the impression that “they don’t need no nigga”, a common phrase these women use. Well s**t, what are you? lesbian? lol. There is no such thing as independent love. Outside of extenuating circ**stances, if you are an adult you shoud be able to carry your own weight and be “independent”. Not nothing to brag about just like someone saying “I take care of my child”, well you’re supposed to!

I think its great to be independent, because when s**t hits the fan (sorry for my french) a woman only has herself (maybe family and friends) to get by. There are many men who don’t want to help even when they ask knowing deep down inside that you want her to say no, but throw the offer out to be nice. Another thing is that a woman can spend her own money without worrying about a man complaining that she’s spending his money to the ground. This isn’t the 60s anymore and women should keep a separate account in case of a rainy day.
So to the man who can’t handle an independent woman, then your weak ass shouldn’t deal with a woman in the first place!

Depends on that particular females definition of independent. Answer this question…Is that just another way of saying single, Black, mother taking care of herself and kids. Or maybe this one…I have to pay my own bills and Iam not worth a guy taking me out and paying for it. Ladies call yourselves independent but it is contrary to the definition of RELATIONSHIP or COMPANIONSHIP

let me clear this up……uhmmmm im clearing my throat! if you are a certain age, there no such trhing as independent. you are doing well in life and you are supposed to and congradulations for being in such small company of people who have goals and common sense. what is independent, own car, job, house, nice close, looking good, smelling good, kids looking good, just remember one thing, YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST TO DO ANY OF THIS…… OR THE LAST…… independence is how you take on life challenges, and feel about yourself dealing with them. its very few by percentage that are 100, never put a man down if he aint got it, help those that do want it also

i feel like this, if u a lady out here doin for herself and don’t depend on a man to take care of you then you are a independent woman. A real independent woman can livelife on her own, pay her bills on her own without being late or in disconnect status, or want her man to buy her the finer things in life. A lot of females fake like they got it goin on for themselves but real talk, they really dont. they want these niggas out here to believe they do, which is wrong. If you broke, live up to it. IM woman enough to let people know out here that im not the richest woman in the world but i can live the way i need to without the help of a man and alot of woman cant say that. I dont care if u liked what i said or not, we all got our own opinions on life so like it or not I DONT CARE!!!!!

I have met a lot of these so called independent women & my conclusion is that a lot of true independent women prefer weaker men who will let them run the show lol…. almost something like an additional child. Women you do not live alone if you have 3 kids living in your home with you, and independent is not section 8 hell that’s why my taxes are so high as of now lol

LIKE THE OLD SAYING GOES…NO MAN’S AN ISLAND….i BELIEVE NO WOMAN’S AN ISLAND EITHER. INDEPENDENCE DOES NOT MEAN ARROGANCE. TOO MANY TIMES A WOMAN WHO HAS CONTROL OVER HER LIFE , BEGINS TO TEAR DOWN THE SO CALLED MAN IN HER LIFE. ITS NOT THAT SHE’S TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR HIM….SHE’S TOO MUCH FOR HERSELF !

I believe that the word independent women is causing a lot of drama for nothing. Every woman should be independent. It is your responsability to take care of yourself and doing it, doesn’t grant you a new “status” or a new “persona”, and it doesn’t give you the right to mistreat any one (man or woman). To be an independent women to me is to have options.

EbonyPrincesse said it all. Case Closed!

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with independent women. n fact as a man i’d say i prefer an independent woman who knows what they’re about….quite frankly that’s difficult to find without the arrogance like airartist said. men don’t want women who have the attitude ‘i don’t need no man’ cause i’m sure you women don’t want a man who feels that way about you. i want a woman who need me as much as i need her…that’s just a basic human trait. but props if everyone has their own thing going outside of the relationship..career, friends, sports…whatever…that don’t intrude on the relationship.

I believe that that being an independent woman is a great thing. When a woman decides to have a partnership with a man or another woman whatever floats her boat she should look at her qualities and build with that person. I would never run around the house reminding my man how independent I am it’s distasteful. People who have to boost about things don’t believe it; others should be able to notice.
I think all the music about golddiggers created the need for women to say oh no I am not like that I am independent. When you have a real family situation you don’t have act like that because you are on the same team. You should be trying to become financially independent as a family because you are as strong as your weakest link.If you are single you don’t need to discuss your money if you are not talking about living together or marriage. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your money then say I can afford this budget for these bills allowing for personal savings aka Vex money.

In all honesty i believe that independent women are not to much to handle. it’s actually a good thing independent women represent a class of women who work hard and who are very goal oriented, there strong black women and that’s the way its suppose to be, there are two types of independent women, you have the smart humble independent positive type women, and you have the i dont care about no one else but myself type who has took her role to far, but overall independent women are great if you pick the right one.

It was a black woman who told me a long time ago that “There are 3 groups of people a black man will have a hard time dealing with…Conservative White Males, Educated Black Women, and Fools.” The first one “knows” everything, the second THINKS she knows everything, and the last know absolutely nothing (“he’s too blinded by his ideology, she’s too blinded by her material success, and the fool is just blind”), and you can tell neither nothing. The woman who told me this was my mother. Once again fellas, listen to your mothers…she will always be proven right! ;)

Have not many in Chi town at all

Well I think there are too many who want to feel like the man and want the women to think what they say goes, to believe in an independent woman. If men stop thinking with there prid and with there harts it wouldn’t matter if the woman is independent. That should make the man happy just to kno that the woman is not with you for your money, but just to be with you. If all men think like that, there would more independent women out in our world.

Independent ladies are just fine… it’s the independents that say they are looking for a man but act entirely too independent. If you dont need me for ANYTHING, why am I wasting my time???

It does not bother me or to the fact, I never even considered it a problem. From my expierence, the women that say or are independent like to hear themselve roar. My upbringing, my life does not permit a woman to disrespect me like that but at the same time, I am a man, a grown man and I act as such. So no, is an independent woman to much. I think that she is looking for the right fellow to step up and be the man she needs him to be in her life.

i think that it is harder for a independant women such as myself who is a single parent that works two jobs to do what i have to do! Some men are afraid of that,iguess they feel we dont need them for anything or they dont have anything to offer us they want someone who is lazy getting welfare with purple and pink hair before they will except a lady of class! that’s my take on it hate it or love it!!!

I know for a fact that Independent ladies are lonely and are cool to date/associate with. I need an independent woman who wouldnt want someone doing something with herself. As long as she has God in her life, living right, educated, and working or pursuing something shes alright with me.
Now a days you have to many shallow low class women who accept whatever or just want a guy for what he packing in his pants and what type of clothes and car he drive. Some males the same way but hey if thats all you offering I see why.

Its all good… Let the independent ladies do they thing.It doesn’t bother me…..They are the real “Ryde or Die chicks”.

I am a single black beautiful woman who does what she has to do when it comes to my family. It doesn’t mean we do not need a man but we would like to have a man who loves and doesn’t mind being just as supportive like we would be if they were in our shoes. Men should appreciate women like us but guys you are the blame for the way we are anyway because when we needed you ,you all chose to walk out and we were left to pick up the pieces. So do not be upset because we can take care of ourselves give us credit.

ALL THESE MEN TALKING ABOUT WANTING AN INDEPENDENT WOMEN THERE SHOULDNT BE ONE SINGLE INDEPENDENT WOMEN LEFT. JUST GOES TO SHOW MOST MEN DONT KNOW WHAT THEY REALLY WANT.

Independent women aren’t as INDEPENDENT as they proclaim themselves to be….

They put on that facade to attract a “CERTAIN” type of male, only so that she can “DEPEND” on him to take care of her so called “INDEPENDET” @SS….

I really dont think that ANY WOMAN is independent. I feel as though the female species is genetically designed to depend on a man to do things for her. Same as men, we are INDEPENDENT…..but we have D*CKS and without a woman who will fullfil our sexual needs (speaking toward heterosexual men not homosexuals)?

Therefore, we DEPEND on the P*SSY of a woman……same with women. They depend on us. NOt so much as SEXUALLY because they can go out and buy FAKE D*CKS…….but more in the fact of things that only MEN can do. Men are BURDEN BEARERS……we are designed to withstand HARDSHIP and the burden of responsibility while the woman SUPPORTS US and nurtures us….

NO I am not intimidated by an independent woman because I can see right threw her…..I’m more or less TURNED OFF by such a woman because she is LYING THREW HER F*CKING TEETH when she claims such a title of INDEPENDENCE….

Thas my word….I’m out!!

WTF is so special about a woman who has her own place, her own car, and job? When I hear, “Independent Woman,” the phrase “needlessly attitudinal” comes to my mind. There is nothing special about being able to take care of yourself. The problem comes when (as my mother said it best), “educated black women become blinded by their success and tries to be the man.” Granted, many black men aren’t up on their life-game, but then I’ve seen many a times where a black woman (with children yet) will be given preferrential choice for jobs that turn into careers (and self-suffiency) at the expense of single black men with the same education and experience (i.e., systemic bias). Being “independent” doesn’t make you special…it just makes you blind.

i agree somewhat with msthing i wouldn’t have to be so idenpendent if i had a man to share the load with. And its not necessarily bein independent it is surviving. Someone has to pay the bills and maintain a living. Plus if i try to be dependent on a man i would be called a Gold Digger. If i try to be independent i am called Bossy so its pretty much danged if you do danged if you don’t

Personally, I really don’t care about all that ‘Independant woman’ hype, it really don’t impress me when a woman tries to come off like that, or feels her independance makes her ‘too much woman’ or ‘too much to handle’. If she’s independant and can carry her own weight that’s cool with me as long as she doesn’t let it go to her head or flaunts it in my face like that makes he so much better than me or anybody else. As long as she’s capable of making the man in her life feel wanted, loved, respected, and appreciated in her relationship with him, that’s all that really matters. The key to succes in any relationship is always in your attitude, and the way you treat the person you’re with.

Personally, I wouldn’t worry about it. Reason is, IF more black boys had positive male influences in their lives (outside of their mama), they would know what it takes, and what it means, to be a man. IF these men, stepped up to be a real man, and had the qualities and attributes for a healthy, loving, committed relationship that led to a happy lasting marriage, then the women who are labeled “too independent” wouldnt have to be concerned because the man would be the provider the way he was created to be, BUT since there are so many men, impregnanting women who they dont remain committed to, what’s a woman to do? Get on welfare? and then be declared a lazy baby mama? Or, should she set goals for herself, establish a plan for how she wants to live and enjoy her life, care for and provide for herself and her family. IF she looked to a man to do this, she would be a gold digger, but mind you, broke men coined this term. Furthermore, the point of contention becomes women are taking away opportunities from brothas, as IF it’s the woman’s fault. I mean, puleeze. That dialogue has gotten old – so, it goes back to, what came first, the chicken or the egg? IF men were doing what they were supposed to be doing to be a man worth keeping, to be a man that’s employable in mid to high paying jobs, they wouldnt have resentment toward women. Thusly, women wouldn’t have to so independent where they didnt need a man for more than his p*nis and muscles.
So again ladies, be proud of being a woman who has it on the ball, be selective of the guys you let in your life, it’s okay to need a man, the right man because he will have a lot to offer just as you will have a lot to offer to him. That’s called partnership. Too many guys on BP are cluckers, and frankly, their opinions dont make much sense, when you really think about it.

WHen women wanna b all independent all the time thats fine but it goes against the very fiber of man’s DNA. We men are the hunters, gatherers and providers, by u women wanting to take that from us, ur are in fact taking the very essence of a man (providing) and emasculating us with ur newfound indepencence. Stop trying to steal the one part of men that makes us men. Let a man b a man.

I am so sick and tired of this over hyped, overrated independant woman thing to the point where it’s becoming a real turn off. How does that make them anybody special or different from any other woman outside of a useless crackhead hooker?

Them days of the man being the ONLY provider and bread winner is OVER, and any woman that can’t hold up her end and don’t have nothing of her own ain’t good for nothing but a screw! Women have to be responsible for their own maintennance just like men do, it’s no big deal, and it certainly don’t make no woman too much to handle or too much woman for a man except in her own mind.

That don’t bother us like some women have themselves fooled into thinking when they get on their self important pedestals looking down and passing judgement on men because they think being independant makes them so much better. NEWS FLASH – we’re happy for the independant woman, just don’t let it go to your head and make you think you’re all that. Keep it in perspective, it’s really not that serious to us like some (not all) women think it is.

Being independent is fine. But when a woman stands up like i am woman hear me roar , then its time to go. some people arent used to having power or control so when they feel like they have achieved something or have gotten in a position where they feel some sort of power, it slowly begins to change their personality and their unique characteristics into one of these people that you see here every day either on tv or at your job thinking the world revolves around them. But the term independant i dont like. Maybe the term financially stable should be used. Because if your independent then you dont depend on God in your every day like and without God you are corrupt. I myself speak to God all the time and im not speakin religion just sprituality and i say i am dependent upon God so really what is being independent without contridicitons.

And one more thing, Why when the term independent is used the only topic that comes into a persons mind is money ? Has our society brainwashed the majority of our kind to automatically think about money. Being independent of dependent could be financial , mentally , physically and emotionally or just about with any other matter other than finances. SO next time a woman uses the word independent next to her name ask her what makes her independent and if shes not dependent upon God then drop her.

Any one who can sit there and claim they are independent are still immature. Every one is dependent in one aspect or another but then again it could be ignorance. Depending on God or praying to him makes you dependent. Looking for that check from your job makes you dependent because im sure you dont print your own money. The term independent wasnt even being used until every one thats normally brainwashed by watching the b.e.t. channel sat there and listened to the the song that was made by webbie while he practiced his spelling over and over. The same thing happened with new booty , aquafina wet wet or what ever else you want to call it but who really knows the real deffinition of the words they use. Its just alot of monkey see monkey do

Well that’s a deep subject because as a man I think depending on the way each man was raised has a lot to do with how he looks at or judges a woman because to some of us we are taught that a man is the head of the household but today were living in a time where alot of woman are in a better position than the average man because of the way the system is but not to say that I would be intimidated because I’m a strong minded person and it would just be a challenge to me s**t I want a strong independent woman s**t my girl gotta better job than me but it motivates me to do better I think men who are afraid because they wanna be in charge of the whole relationship but if he can’t hold it down financially he feels like he can’t secure his self sort of speak.

Well To tell the truth men are happy for you but are we suppose to praise you for doing something you suppose to do (Taking Care Of Your Self) That dont earn you NO POINTS what your doing aint nothing new Ur not the 1st woman to do it and you wont be the last.So let that crap go and step off your high horse and come on down with the rest of us normal people that’s handling our business
just like you and If you really look at it how many times have U heard a man say he’s independant
Bottom line we all need money to live so just cause you make more than some men then good for you but that dont make you special Boo-Boo and if you do think it makes you special then you really need to grow up because none of the grown people I know don’t seek anyone approval or praise we do it because it need’s to be done for our family’s or 4 self

This is dumb… Its ghetto ass hell how mainly black women run around talkin about im independent and independent means “single with kids” with 90% of them… there are only a few that actually are independent and doing things thats “impressive”… Black women think its impressive if they are single and have kids and have their own place to stay and a car…… When da point is…. “Your supposed to”…. And yes i know alot of people dont take care of buisness but that doesnt mean yu are doin anything impressive…. So stop making ghetto comments like im independent…which means “single with kids”

Oh boy…you don’t eeeeeeeeeeeeven wanna get me started….

First of all, much love to homegirl who commented before me….but seriously, do chicks know what the f**k it really MEANS to be independent?

I’m so sick of these broads yapping about being independent, but in the same breath ask a dud what kind of job or money HE has….funny, I thought you were independent….

Whenever i hear some airhead broad say that s**t, I go in a different direction.

These chicks wouldn’t know whatit means to be independent if it were their given name at birth….come on now…

you got some who play the independent role and don’t even know what it means. i can handle an independent woman as long as she doing something with herself, proving her independence and can bring to the table the same amount that i am willing to bring as well to jump start a relationship and our future together if it so happens.

from a deployed soldier

If some ladies like that word independent its okay .We had to grow up and learn how to be independent .It call taking care of buisness.Doing all you can an more. So don’t miss judges when you hear a women say that word INDEPENDENT she just proud of her self that she can do it. and its okay to secure your self.

When I hear the word-phrase “Independent Woman,” the first thing that comes to my mind is, “She’s ghetto as hell!” So what you can take care of yourself (and your children)…WTF do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize? WTF is so special about a woman who has her own place, her own car, and job? When I hear, “Independent Woman,” the phrase “needlessly attitudinal” also comes to my mind. There is nothing special about being able to take care of yourself. The problem comes when (as my mother said it best), “educated black women become blinded by their success and tries/wants to be the man.” Despite what Hillary Clinton makes you think, only ONE person can wear the pants in a relationship…and no man real man will allow a woman’s salary and/or success to emasculate him!

Independent means “ACTION” you can claim any thing but if you put no action behind that in which you claim it means nothing.So i think i can handle an independent women cause i was raised by one and I am not looking to take from an independent women cause i have mines….See a lot of Independent women need to stop dealing with dudes who they know doesn’t add anything to the situation but who is always going to take from the situation…..

Independent woman are assertive & self assured. They know what they are looking for & know how to get it. A true independent woman knows that she deserves to have a mate that is on her level & accepts nothing less. And yes she has the right to know what type of money & job her mate has, as she should not be the one to carry the entire load. Having expectations & standards are expected of a woman who is independent.

Personally I get tired of hearing about how women who are independent are too much to handle. As if taking care of yourself & being able to show that with pride is a bad thing! How could it be? Having an opinion & voicing that opinion is wrong?

And for these so called women who walk about talking about independence, singing the chorus to Single Ladies…those are the ones who give true independent women a bad rap. Because a TRUE independent woman wouldn’t need to ask, beg & whine about having no ring on her finger.

my opinion on independent ladies is this. its depends on the person… as a woman you have to understand that even if you dont need the man, u should be able to make the man feel wanted. its nothing wrong with being independent. but if it gets to the point where your bragging an saying in every argument i dont need you you can leave if you want. then you need to evaluate your self an what your doing. because your sending the man mixed messages… its like you saying to the man i want to be with you… but as soon as yall have a problem you thowing in his face the fact that you dont need him. so u cant be mad or feel a way when the man say ok u dont need me an jus leaves… cuz your did it 2 your self. trying to be 2 independent to show your vulnerable side that wants the man around…. men dont need you to need them…. then jus need your to want them to be there.

Independant Woman is an overused word these days…Females should have been able to take of theirselves & have control over their life….Females late on this to me

Amen and Amen. Tiredman you are correct. I think that term independent woman is only used by women that may have some sort of ego problem. Thinking” oh hell naw, I am not about to think he is better then me” Those are the main women that go from relationship to relationship blaming the other person for the breakup.. How can I say this.. because I used to be that woman, but as I have gotten older, I just laugh at the women now, because they too will get to this point and might think the same thing I do now.. GET OFF THE BAND WAGON, AND LEARN TO DRIVE YOUR OWN CAR.

they are easy to get along with…all you have to do is let them do it there way what ever it is …….long as it doesn’t include me or my help ……let them make their own mistakes….then they can’t blame no one but themselves…………..only give advice when it is asked of you

i love being a young woman in charge. my mother raised a strong black queen. some say i have a big head but me i do what i do. because no one is going to look out for me but god himself.

No, we’re not too much to handle. It’s just that some of us put ourselves out like we’re too much && that attitude makes men not even wanna pay them any attention.

I personally get sick and tired of hearing a woman talk about how independent she is because I look at it like this…if you have to run around verifying your “independence” then you must not be…

yes dey iz 2 much ta handle. ya cant depend on a man an have him do thangs fo ya an b independent at da same time. if a chic doin thangs fo herself than how can i count on her ta let me me do thangs wit her. it seems independent women selfish an dont care about a mans needs. an if a man wanna help her ta show he cares about her he cant do it cuz she already done it or doin it herself. i think da whole ‘independent woman’ thang came along cuz females didnt have guys around helpin dem wit thangs an datz wrong. tryin ta pull a woman outta dat mindset an bring her mo down ta earth iz hard if not impossible. but can a man jus not b independent cuz he want a woman ta depend on? no! but women do it both ways. not fair at all

Not at all, the problem is some women are independent all the way up until its time to pay the bills.

I dont have a problem with Independent women my problem comes with these women who feel they are too cute to acknowledge conversation. You can be very cordial to them but if you dont look a certain way they ignore your note or say something very cruel to you. Then they get on a Blackplanet soapbox and let the world know how they dont want a fat or ugly person, such horrible things to say. I mean i may not be a model but i am a gentleman and i remmber when blackplanet was such a joy to view but now their have been so many snobbish and cruel women on here i dare not speak to anyone anymore. And believe me i know it goes both ways but i can only speak on my experience.

i hate to say it but its women like fantasydelight that can give a bad name to women that are independent without the ego trip. man get over it. u can be independent and humble at the same time. a man is not the only individual that can have SWAGGER. dayum.. she speaks like the guys i cant stand to be around…yeah yeah baby i got this i got that i can do this i can do that..and im sorry but when u get to a certain age…it doesnt carry much weight. if u got u got it and it can be recognized even if u dont flaunt it.

I FEEEL THAT BEING ABLE TO BE INDEPENDANT, MEANS TO BE YOUR WON WOMAN, NOW I’M ALL FOR FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, BUT MORE WOMEN WHO ARE INDEPENDANT LOOK DOWN ON THOSE WHO AHVEN’T ACCOMPLISHED WHAT THEY HAVE, AND BECAUSE A MAN DOESN’T HAVE WHAT SHE HAS DOESN’T MEAN THAT HE IS WORKING TO BETTER HIMSELF, BUT EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT THE RIGH TIME IN LIFE, BEING INDEPENDANT IS GREAT, BUT IF YOU CAN’T BALANCE BEING AN INDEPENDANT WOMAN WITH BEING A LADY AND KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE THEN THERE WILL BE A LOT OF LOENLY, DESPERATE, SINGLE, MISERABLE MOTHERLESS, MANLESS, LESBIAN, WOMEN WHO ARE LOOKING FOR A MAN OF ANOTHER RACE, CUZ A TRUE BLACK MAN NEEDS A WOMAN WHO WILL USE ANY POWER AND INFLUENCE, TO ASSIST THE BROTHERS TO MOVE AHEAD NOT TO TELL US WHAT SHE HAS THAT WE CAN’T GET NOR HOW SHE DOESN’T NEED US, THIS IS THE HUMAN RACE UNDER GOD WE ALL NEED SOMEONE AT SOME POINT IN TIME HERE ON PLANET EARTH

I am a independant woman but i still like amna to step up and be a man..alotof black women had no choice because mot didnt grow up with fathers these days ..thats why u hear alot of chicks say they dot need a man..well i believe there is a reason that God created adam and it was just for sex..if u believ einthe bible quran whatever the manis suppose to be the provider ..women have taken the role as the provider and super woman becuase truth be told you can depends on black males these days…90% of black homes are single parent homes head by women ,,these days your only choice as a black woman is to live of welfare or provide for yourself..black men no longer carry the role or title as provider or father for that matter ..all they seem to care aboutis there swag and clothes.. i believe the term is fukk biches get money..

ALL THE TRULY INDEPENDENT WOMEN SAY: HEY!!!!
NOW ALL OF YA’LL GO BUY A DILDO OR A VIBRATOR CUZ YOU DON’T NEED A MAN,
NOW ALL THE LADIES, WHO ARE SECURE WITH THEIR SUCCESS, CONFIDENT IN HERSELF, AND IS BALANCEED IN TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS, SHE MAY NOT NEED A MAN FOR FINANCE BUT IT IS NICE TO HAVE WITH ROMANCE, THESE ARE THE WOMEN WHO ARE WORTH THE BLACK MAN’S TIME

There really isnt a problem with a women being independent. The problem is what she does to become independent. And when they get there; what have they become? A person with a chip on their shoulder and nobody can tell them anything, You stay right where you are because i dont want to know you. in addition they both were made to me helpers (Male and Female). Women would rather be the head than be a woman or wife. And if the the man is not doing what “THEY” think he shoud be doing or do things according to how they think it should be done (then they get the boot). Sometimes, that can lead to loneliness because no man wants to put up with selfishness, no team work, no cooperation, no consideration, just a difficutl time because she is sooooooooooooooooooooo independent. Just strait up hard headed. In addition, there is a big difference in being confident and arrogant. Dont get it confused, alot of women out there have to be that person to get what they need done. But they have to be able to respect the person who they are with and add compasion with consideration to have a good relationship.

i look at it like this. if you independent it will show but at the same time you have to be humble about it. but if you one of them rude independent females that swear they dont need a man??? good luck. nobody is going to take your attitude. sad to me cause you have your own and be humble. thats my kind of ladie i like.

-Kostco-

I just want to clear a few things up all independent women don’t look down on others and have an attitude, some of us have had to go through alot in life and were made to be independent not by choice I am a widow for 3 yrs now and no I don’t like being that independent woman but if I don’t do for myself who will…it’s hard to find a good and honest man that can be there for you and help you when needed but they can’t b/c 98 % of them already have someone else at home to take care of so why not be independent and just take care of yourself and yours.it’s not cool being a independent woman b/c we need companionship also . Any woman that say they don’t need a man in their life is a LIE b/c everybody need somebody…but you don’t have to settle for just anything. People be hatin on independent women but they really don’t think that there are some independent women that’s hatin b/c others are in relationships so let’s stop passing that hate-a-rade around and just start to luv one another

DITTTY2004 is right on point with his comment. Nuf said.

MIss Independent “crowning_me” learn how to spell and it looks like with your attitude you will be destined for a life as a single MoM and short term relationships.

you know that’s real bull when you say that there arent any real good men out here. It’s good men out there but they are always overlooked. The women who tend to be so independent want the thug with the education. Which is not gonna happen. It’s okay to have your own things. But that diva complex stuff gotta go. It’s a real big turn off..

it’s kind of funny that we always hear in songs about this independent mindset for black women. But if you ever look in the white community. You don’t hear that mess! It’s all just a way to tear a black man and a black woman apart.

I find most so called ” independent women” to be control freaks who don’t know how to put their pride away. Men definitely aren’t the only ones with pride issues! lol

It’s like this.. Im in college and I know once I get out. I will have a job making real big bank. But I would never go on some trip about being independent. That’s my woman and my other half! I can’t be complete being independent. My other half makes me whole.

black men love independent women. the negatives associated with independent women don’t have to be aprt of equation. that’s the extra baggae men don’t wanna deal with and find unattractive in women. the arrogance, disrepecting, belittling, and denying the neccessity of a man’s place in their life together is unnecessary. real women regardless of whether or not their independent know this and live it everyday.

Our families are so broken. This topic would NEVER come up on myspace or facebook. The black family has been broken for 400 years, every since they shipped all the black men out to work. They still haven’t found their way home yet, the ones that have are rejected. The black woman simply learned how to live without them.

I grew up with my father and mother being married. I can appreciate the union of marriage and I know what is needed. I think women who grow up without fathers simply never witnessed how to love a man.

Not to make to many excuses, brothers I love you guys! However, a lot of ya’ll need to step it up. There is more to life then trying to live like diddy on 25K annually lol if I see another page with pics of jeans, cars, cash I’m going to vomit! Think bigger baby, bigger I mean instead buying the bar make a college fund for your little ones.theres more to life than what you see on hip hop videos!

Black woman hate other black women, now black women hate black men lol what us gon’ do!

I have a daughter and I have taught her to be strong and independent. Her dreams are for her to work on and if you call that independent then I bless her with all my heart. There will be time when things get hard for her and I would like to know she is able to work through those day’s. We all need family and friends to help us in bad time as well as good times. But we also have learn as black people there are time when they aren’t and won’t be there for us so our own inner strength has to be twice those of our counterpart. Yes their are brothers who have given up on themselves but we don’t have to give up on all of them. The household bond has to get better in our neighborhoods. I have worked over twenty years as an accountant . Making money for other people and decided to start a business of my own as the kids are older. So the dream can still be there for anyone who chooses to reach for it. Thank for your time Ricardo

Yeah to be candid,most independent ladies feel they are on top of everything in the world and needs no man to tell her what to do or be subdued by a man under the guise of marriage which i think its high time this opinion changes cos ladies are always favored to get the best things in life whether you agree with me or not,that’s an opinion.

Im a successful black man and would not want anything less than an independent woman in my life. To me independence is the ability to do anything, have anything and go anywhere you wish without the need for help or permission from anyone else. But I must say that some women who have this ability use it as the basis of how they will handle and treat there relationships, and this should not be the case. Just like women, men want to be comfortable when around the opposite sex. When its unnerving to be in the presence of an independent woman, then its not her indepenence that is driving us away, its her knowledge of it. Basically, Independence without humility is c**kiness without consideration. When you find a woman with balance, then not only are you comfortable with her, you adore her and respect her accomplishments. All others, usually tend to sit at home, wondering why they are alone. Like a King with riches, but no followers.

Well lets snap back to reality here! Most of you will never have just a decent black man because the pool is very small to choose from even for the mediocre men. The vast majority of us are in prison or felons so all our rights taken away thats a large percentage of the black man gone. Then the handsome,tall,educated,employed black man with no children that you all want is going to pick from the top of the tree of black women or sellout. Most of you are not at the top of the tree like you think just because u have the basics like a car or place wtf I had that at 18 in college. sometimes you have to be realistic about the situation stop being so snobby cause you think your attractive but its always somebody who looks better or thinking because you make 50k you doing something because your not.Just another educated sister its millions of you to choose from. So the vast majority of you gone have to settle,get a white dude, be a sideline chick or be alone. Now for the uneducated hood chick on here talking trash while using your foodstamp card get over it and get a 2nd job cause you are at the bottom of the food chain of black women but also give all women a bad rap. So sisters I know there are some men out there for you just not blair underwood or reggie bush type. he may be a lil chunky or got one leg if he treats you good and productive in life then hey something is better than nothing. Let me know how it goes ill be at the top of the tree lmao

Independent Women are not hard to handle they are just harder to fool. Women who fend for themselves have gotten to know alot about themselves unlike Women who rely on men.A strong Man seek out Women who do not play games and have a strong sense of themselves. Just because a Woman is independent does not mean she do not want a Man in her life . She just is selective in the type of man.A real man will profess his love for her, protect any harm coming to her and help provide for her.

Here’s the thing about “Independent women” A lot of us have been hurt a lot by good-for-nothing dudes… They use you for what you got and the keep it moving… so we are guarded. With reason… Not to be the girl that discourages black love but get love where you can find it. My man is on my level, he understands me, he’s doing the same things that I’m doing and we are taking these strides together. another problem is a lot of “independent women” are c**ky! OMG! who cares what material possessions you have… your character is what people will ultimately look at… some people run-over the threshold between confidence and c**kiness and the good guys aren’t look for a high maintenance chick… they are looking to be loved and taken care of. the next problem is that some of us have big heads and forget how to take care of home cause we think we are doing something… I’ve never had a man leave me because I didnt treat him right… not one boyfriend can ever open their mouths and honestly say that about me. The problem is a lot of women can’t balance knowing how to take care of them selves and knowing how to let a man be a man, Especially a black man! Right now I’m in school and I work full time, I have a car and I live on my own, but i don’t mind letting my boyfriend take care of me because he’s the man. he pays for things, he drives when we go places… he protects my honor and in return for him doing “man” things i do “woman” things” and thats why i can keep a man and a lot of other sisters cant… humble urself and be willing to submit to ur man out of love and respect… he knows u can do it by urself.. thats why he chose you.

i know alot of independent women who are single and all of them will not date a cat who is hard working but may make less than they do. and it is sad i know a guy who is a waiter this cat aint never broke he can make up to 200 a nite in tips on top of his salary and has his own he wanted to date a friend of my sis who is paid and she has her own too she thought my man was nice but when he told her what he does for a living she basically dissed him saying i dont want to date a guy if all he strives to be in life is a waiter i mean how superficial is that now that is just an example of how some indie women think.some just dont pick the right men or pass up good hard working bluecollar joes. and a lot of indie women think men are afraid of them and they can be c**ky and vocal about what the want most guys wont approach you due to the fact there is nothing they feel they can do for you what ever he can afford will never be enough or do as a career and cats with just as much as they have can be your worst nightmare ladies my advice is dont knock a brother if he has less he may turn out to be the man you long for

Ladies, it is all in how you feel about yourself. Be independent, strong and free of prejudgice and you will be alright. Simply ignore anyone who tries to demean what you stand for. To be quite honest, you will meet many black men who will be intimidated by you off of the sole fact that you are a black woman. Because of the lack of black men role models in our communities, many black men are raised by their black mothers. Internally, most black men look up to and respect black women because of this. With this admiration black men have for black woman, there also comes jealousy and envy toward us. Many men will date other races or turn gay simply because they will not defeat the internal fear they have of black women. Good luck Ladies. Be confident in who you are always.

Oh and by the way, this is a subject about independent women. Race should not be an issue. If a man treats you well and you have great communication, persue him as he persues you. Dont be afraid to open your mind to other cultures and understandings. You only end up more informed.

most indie woman is doing they thing..but need mad help in other areas such as mental.

Men, are complaining about woman being TOO INDEPENDANT…… Well, Then the men of this generation should take their place as men. I am not saying there are no real men out there. Because I happen to know some single dads, and lots of good men. But the majority of the men handling business verses not is not large enough. I feel those who think there is a problem with a woman handling her own should get over it. There are to many woman that have had to become Independent. And they have had to do so due to the rising population of men that have abandoned their families (AKA responsibilities). Which is what drives our Independence. We have had to learn to hold down things for ourselves & our kids. Some of us have had to learn to be Independent because we were left with children to feed. And our Independence is our only chance or survival in this world and more guaranteed. Then some woman have become Independent, because of the freedom of not having to rely on anyone. My grandmother used to say, “God bless the child that has their own”. When you have your own and can do for yourself it gives you security. There was a time that we as woman had to rely on men for everything. Then so many left without anything, no skills, no money, no home, and now we are able to provide for ourselves. We shouldn’t be looking for someone to provide everything for us, and we have nothing ourselves. But we should be looking for a man that adds to the things we can already do for ourselves. Men, that are threatened by a women’s independence may only be so, because he may feel he doesn’t have the upper hand.

I thought that’s wht men want? a women who can provide 4 themselves? so whts the problem?

I have come across a number of men who want a independent woman but don’t know how to handle them! Some get very intimidated! I can’t help it because I dont need a man to provide for me, because at the end of the day you dont know if that man will still be there! Thats real s**t! :)

We’ll I have to say Amen to this because women these days are so stuck on themselves egotistically speaking that they are forgetting about the #1 rule,family values period. If you look at the stats of young African males and women the felony rate is up so high its unacceptable to Men in general. women Yes you are indepent but yes dont be so stuck on yourself to much just take time out and let them be apart of there fathers life theres things you cant teach them that there father have the up most of these things. So what im saying is there are more to life an just paying bills. Our kids are in the streets shooting eachother at the age 16 now he have to searve 25 years in prison and he havent even been here that long now reconcile an that peace.

indep. women not doing a good job raising there kids and thats a known fact they sit up and draw child support and dont care of there #1 responsibility. Your 14 year old son out in the streets killing eachother hmm who fault is that it sure isnt the indep. Dads can I get an Amen

Indpendant, yes ….B***h, no

You know, first off, I hope someone from Atlanta that was listening to Frank Ski this morning reads this. I was feeling homesick this morning, and logged online to listen to V-103. They gave some staggering statistics that we as a black community need to take a look at seriously. 72% of children born to african american women are born out of wedlock. Did you hear me people? 72%!!!! That is why I think that in particular black women have been forced to be independent. There are way too many black men that are producing kids, but not being in they’re life and taking care of them. Black men need to wake they’re asses up. Part of the problem here is that they don’t have fathers in the home, and so they don’t see it as a problem. You know why? Because they don’t have that father putting a foot in they’re ass telling them they need to be in they’re child’s life. So the cycle continues. Kids need they’re father in they’re life, bottom line. I’m a black man with 2 beautiful kids, I couldn’t imagine not being in they’re life. This society has become so twisted in they’re way of thinking. There was a woman that called into the show that said she didn’t need her child’s father in her life. She is independent, she drives a CLS 500, what does she need a man for? See, a big part of the problem now is that you beautiful black women have become very successful in the business world. You feel that at the end of the day, you don’t need a man for nothing. That’s only speaking materially though. What you women need to understand is this, at the end of the day, it’s not the money that makes you happy. It might for a while, but whether you admit it or not, you will always feel that there is something missing. You still want that connection with a man, a man to love you. A man that at the end of the day will have your back. Money doesn’t buy happiness, remember that. This is the reason why some men feel intimidated by your success. A real man, will not be intimidated. A real man will support you in your success. A real man will be chasing his own dreams and following through with his own plans. But sadly, it never goes that far. Women complain that there are no good men out there, but when a good one might be right in front of them and they’re too stuck on themselves to see it. Remember this, no matter how independent you may be, a good man will only enhance your life. A real man, will make sure you’re taken care of, regardless of if you have it all materially. That money can’t buy you a simple conversation over some tea. A walk through the park with the whole family, watching your kids play on the playground. A sit down family meal at the kitchen table, with the tv off. A man to correct that child if they’re wrong. A father to pick up his daughter to tell her how much he loves her on a regular basis. A father to go outside and throw the football around with his son, or to guide him through this life as a man. A husband that will fix that leaking toilet or squeaking door (yeah you could call a handy man, but think about the love behind it when YOUR man does it, because it bothers you, and he knows it will make you happy) make sure his house is safe, because he is the protector and wants to see nothing happen to his family. See, these are the types of things that are priceless. Money can’t buy these things. Kids, don’t care what kind of car you drive, they just want to know that they’re loved and you are there for them. They just want to have you there. For any men out there that read this, please, I beg you, Be a father. I promise you, it is not as hard as you think it is. Time, is the number one thing you can give to that child. Even if you can’t provide materially for the moment, times are hard, we as adults understand that. But kids, just want the time. I know I have gone in left field here, I apologize, but I just felt there were some things that needed to be said and no one else is saying them.

First of all you get those men out there that will be negative to the question,”Is independent woman a threat” Some men are affraid of woman that are independent because they feel like if that’s the case why am i here anyway.Or they don’t need me. It’s not like that, independent women just don’t like the fact they have to depend a man, because a man will leave your azz in a heart beat and then what? you have nuthin under your belt, no job, no bank account. At least you will no how to survive with those three things in your life if a man do decide to jump ship. So trust me guys it’s not a ego thing a woman have, it’s called having her own back.

it’s just the ego that comes with women becoming independent… it’s not that men feel their too much it’s the way she acts when she gets there that makes the man turn away. they say they don’t change.. they just don’t see it.. what people forget is what the bible says we are to do for each other, without really knowing the purpose of a relationship. we can’t and won’t get far.. so when you ask are they too much i say no…i say understand your purpose and life with will be what it was meant to be….. Beautiful

I notice all the unattractive women are on here screaming independent lmao!! you need to be no man wants yall ass no way! Thats the majority of single moms these days the ugly sideline ho after the club. keep your legs closed and fellas use a condom in about 50 years we will start seeing a diffrence less out of wedlock kids and less ugly bastards too who end up being convicts!

I see that most of you haven’t been around for long. Look BLACK women have always been independent. They have always picked their relationships and molded their man. You can look at any black man that has a good black woman and you will see that her Independents in the relationship is just as important and true as his . As far as the woman’s movement goes it was not aimed at the black female as much as the White female. I know that some of you may call me a LIE, but I ask you to pick up a book and read AND YOU WILL SEE THAT WHITE WOMEN ARE IN AH OF YOU.BECAUSE YOU COULD DO THINGS OUT SIDE OF THE HOME THAT THEY COULD NOT. I STILL SEE (WILLIE LYNCH) AT WORK. DON’T BY INTO IT, THIS INDEPENDENT BLACK FEMALE VS BLCK MALE THING. IT’S NOT INSOMUCH A BLACK THING AS A WHITE THING. BUT REMEMBER MY SISTERS THAT YOU CAN NOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.

I love how “INSECURE MEN” wanna make INDEPENDENT WOMEN” a negative thing, for example rockwilder1911 post. Sorry love we are not all side-line ho’s. I myself am a single mother, and I am soooo picky about who I let in my life or my children’s lives. It is so hard to date anymore, to find A REAL MAN, and I’m sure for some men it’s diffacult as well. But I do believe some men, find independence in a strong woman to be scarry, just like mzalero04 stated, makes them feel like if a woman is so independent, what am I here for? Your here to love me, have that shoulder ready for when my tears drop, hold me, hug me, kiss me, love me, and be there for EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, and of course I’ll be the same for you! Trust me fellas, INDEPENDENCE IN A WOMAN is a great thing to find. Would you rather have a GOLD DIGGER?

all this talk about independent is sad, its not about the individual its about the team, we need more mothers not independent woman, we need more families not individuals, we need more woman to help mold the boys and girls, the young men and woman, all this independent talk is the reason why kids arent kids anymore, where all the mothers and grandmothers, give me a team player not an individual

nothing wrong with being a leader,kids are dependent, woman are dependent, men are dependent, we all depend on each other, we all depend on the lord, we need to work together not try to stand alone and be independent

woman was the greatest gift to man, and now woman wanna be independent, doesnt that take away from the orignial plaN?

independent? at the end of the evening they still want you/us (men) to pay for everything, lol. and thats real.

@Cara-Mello

That’s funny … because I have a hard time allowing a man to pay for anything. Been so independent, so long … one day it would be really nice to have a friend take out a window for me, or something like that, and not have his hand or his dlck out …