ppl r gonna do what they want to regardless…but that shyt aint cool! When u say, “first date” that NORMALLY means someone u barely know…and well spin it how u want 2..many ppl will say its a “grown up decision” but at the same time its very careless….care for yourselves more than that ppl! “A moment of pleasure for a lifetime of pain” Wat my grandma always said lmfao

It doesnt matter! Besides, people can know each other for months, years and not go on a “date”. Its all about preference…A man’s feelings for you will not change after 16 dates and suddenly he wants to marry you. A manknows right away what his intentions are with you. Most ladies need to realize their v****a’s are not the holy grail and it is not what makes or breaks a relationship, every woman has a v****a, what makes you different than every and any other woman? That is what’s going to make him stay.

For the first time, I agree with MiSz_PiNk_DiamOnd

I can’t believe that this question is even being asked?! HELL YEAH it matters if you have sex on the first night the anticipation of sex is ruined and chances are that a man will get bored nevermind the fact that common sense would suggests that its just too soon! We need to really check our horomones, our over-sexed culuture really has us living shallow and people wonder why no one has lasting relationships anymore ..because we only care about the sex and can’t wait until we know the person before we have it!

It does matter! because you don’t know whether that person is disease free…it’s the first date and you’re ready to give up the ass without knowing if that person is clean. And it goes vice versa because people who know they ain’t right, give it up without informing their partner (s). Hell no! Yeah, you grown, but don’t call yourself grown, if you’re going to do something foolish, as far as laying-up with somebody on the first date without protection. Furthermore, if you known that person for years, that still doesn’t make it right because just like you had partners so has he or she…once you cross that line of just being friends and take it took the next step…always be aware: ask questions, get tested together, then you can lay up all you want. As far as “Waiting for sex vs. sex on the first date,” it all depends on whether, the both of you are committed or just looking to have a good time! I believe both people have to want the samething and if you’re not on the same level, then no it won’t work. Having sex on the FIRST date is a 50/50 chance that it will work out and the samething goes for people who wait. However, the topic is “Sex On The First Date, Does It Matter?” make sure you have something else to offer then just the ass because you can’t have a relationship, if it’s just a sexual one. Like my mother said: “people are going to do what they want to do, but what people seem to forget is, that they be exchanging bodily fluids…you don’t even know what you’re getting yourself into.”

typo–meant to say: take it to the next step!

IT DEPENDS ON HOW 2 PEOPLE LOOK AT IT BECAUSE WOMEN AINT SO INNOCENT.THEY DO BOOTY CALLS AN FIRST DATE SEX TOO.

Just depends on the people involved. I agree with Doing_Me74, I am not innocent, I have had the first date sex and done the bootycalls. Did it make me feel any different, less than who I am or ‘bad’…Not at all. And I have waited months to get down with a guy and he STILL turned out to be an a*****e in the longrun…I really dont think sex plays a part if the person is great, it will show, it they are a jerk, it will show no matter when you decide to get nekkid…

Sex on the first date is a MUST. no sex, no second date. hate people acting like its a crime again humanity to have sex on the first date. if both are feelin it why not? give me a f**kin break with that old time religion way of thinking. I figure if ur going on that first date then ya wanna get naked and fcuk already, so why act as if u dont when deep inside u want to real bad? If I’m going on a date with any woman I’m gonna know already if its gonna jump off after that date. She might not tell me str8 off and I might not ask str8 off but after the date comes my bedroom, if not best believe i’m not gonna waste my time again, it’s on to the next one me and my condoms go

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hell nah it dont matter, girl gimme some….lolol ;-)

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i think if you are just looking for a sexual relationship then go on and have your fun..
but if you looking for something serious and want somebody to take you serious as well,i will not advice any girl to do it.first of all you want that other person to get to know you better right ? but dont let him get to know you better under your pants.most of the time after the sex ,the guy bounced and you will never see him again. it is a bad impretion .why not go for dinner ,movie or walks ..take your time to know somethings about one another. atleast get to know who you fueking
there are a lots of f**k bois and gurls out there, and i surely dont wanna be in the album list of hoes of any man.

Well to be for real most guys would do it but at the same time in the back of his head well mines i would be thinking well sh’s a ho or she might do this with any body and the trust in the relationship would be messed up and also if a girl break up or have sex with me while she with someone it would mess up the trust cause if she do it for me she would do it for you. wait a lil while

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well in my opinon.i say save it for later.why give it up the first nite ? that is so immature to me .unless u really don’t care and just want sex.however if u go on one date and there is an attraction is there the sex will come.and it will probably be better becuz u may be more comfortable with the person and both of you have been holding back so when you both release it will be something that u both think about and hopefully if there is an attractiin there it will grow.this is my fantasy my opinion.one nite stand is boring when you have an appetite like me.i need the whole man not a whole half a piece ah man .for those that prefer it ay ! help yourself.

With the prevalence of HIV/AIDS and incurable STDs, I would NOT have sex with anyone without first going to a doctor for testing. I value my life (and the quality of life) way too much to be blindly led by my libido. To each his own…

I would bang all my hot chicks on the first date easily!!!! Why? Because we would have discuss the nature of our date in the begining. No relationship and no love, take trips with me and I would hit you off with some cash. I’m honest about that. So the honey would have a choice to deal with me or leave me alone. But, since I’m up front and real about it, she is going to know what she is getting herself in to. Chances are that honey would never fall in love with me anyway, plus I might not be her type. I don’t care because I’m getting what I want and I’m giving her what she wants which is financial gain and multiple orgasms. Communication on the first date is the key! Most women (75%)know on the first date wether they are going to sleep with you or not. Right? When you talk ambition and financial gain those sistas are listening! They love a brotha thats trying to make it or already got it going on! C’mon man!!!! When you take her to dinner, be good to her, don’t be cheap!!Always talk about making money, starting projects and helping people get ahead. that lets the woman know that you care, even if you don’t care! Ambition baby!!! Didn’t Amil say “Ambition makes me horny “in the song with JayZ and JaRule? C’mon man!!! Tell her that I’m very busy and my time is tight, my flight is leaving in two days for LA, but I would like to spend some time with you. Of course the sista has to be feeling you for your chances to be good. If she is feeling you, the sex is yours within two days, easily!!! I’m like Lloyd Banks” if i can’t hit it the first night, I’m not going to call her”. Sex on the first date is good, if you been talking to her for two and a half weeks!!! If she is on you, she doesn’t want to wait!!! She wants action the minute she see you!! Because she knows what direction to go with you, she probably just want you for sex anyway!!! It works for me! Always go for the home run on the first date out, you can’t lose unless you start stuttering and telling stupid lies like Mike Brown of the Cavaliers!!!!

it depend on the woman.if she the type that get down on the first date. thats her. but don’t try to play like you not like that. when you know you are.so ladies need to learn to be more honest with there self. true every guy might not wanna date you after you tell em that. but that just show he not the one for you. his lost.it take a strong man to handle truth. its tru what they say .don’t start something you can’t finish!

If the feelings for the two are there. why not have sex? We’re grown (guys and gals half MY age have more sex that I did then and got the kids, too; I was in college)…but I would wait if there are DEEPER feelings and would respect that lady (when we do, I ALWAYS have protection)..but I will not wait forever; going on dates are expensive while a guy is balancing bills and other financial obligations of his life and the potentional woman/golddigger of his life at the moment…who wants to date a lady and she sees him ONLY as a ATM machine or a meal ticket? Not Me……..

Sex on the 1st nite with a STRANGER would only matter to a WH0RE type individual. There should be more to a person than secretions on a 1st date/encounter period. Why sell urself short? Its getting to a point where people are using sex like its food. Eventually, the spirits will catch up with u.

be foreal everybody yelling STDs s**t ur husband or wife can bring u something home…iv e done it im grown i used a condom i was horny he satrted to go down and i wasn’t bout to tell him no we still kick i was looking for a cut buddy not a man an thats what i got…now if i wanted to start a relationship with him i wouldnt have done it on the first night he had magnum and i was down so that makes me a ho?…o well i got mine

it only matters if you’re interested in more than sex. i’ll just say, we all got koochies, ladies. let the man find out what else you have to offer, what you’re about. chances are, that’s the only thing setting you apart from the other 100 ladies he went out w/ last year

Sex on the first date is not a good idea. First let me say, just because a woman did it before doesn’t mean she will always do it. Sometimes you meet a guy who instantly turns you on but this is a great reason to wait to see what he is really like. Not all guys run or view you negatively but let’s say in the long run you continue to see him, you may regret the experience. He could possibly have the hottest negro under the sun syndrome, be a complete a*****e or jerk. The point is try to get to know the person first because after you find out who they really are, the juices may dry up ; ). As a woman you will get labeled and the double standard will apply. I’m not here to judge because I haven’t met a woman who hasn’t done so (yo momma, sister, wife and I hang out with old ladies and the stories that they tell), if you do – make sure you are mentally prepared for the consequences and strap it up.

I must say this is a good one. I have had the sex on the first date and m advise is always go with ur first mind and I didn’t listen. Ladies he was 6’3″ 230lbs, Brown skinned and sexy to def. I hesistated at first but i gave in to his foreplay. I was the worst sexy ever. so what I am saying is use your judgement but if you make the choice be grown and make sure you use protection. and please make sure you don’t get your feeling caught up that where the hurt and broken hearts come in doing it on the first date you have to know in the back of your head that this may not last to long anf if it does it’s just sexual. He’s not going to make you his woman and or she not going to try to make you her man unless she was just one of those that thought if I do it he’ll like me me more. In my case I did it cause i knew it was a one time thing and I wasn’t expecting more he was in the army and traveled so it was my opp to be the bad girl and do on the first date. I agree with Grade A it may cause problems in the long run

Chatacia2, I think the sex was bad because a number of women need to feel emotionally open/ completely uninhibited & relaxed before they ‘open up’ down there. Tension can do a disastrous job on the sexual experience.

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Whether you have sex on the first date or not, a man (really speaking for myself) already knows if he’s trying to pursue a relationship with you or not. Example, it could be the 6th date and we finally have sex. That doesn’t mean I’m going to see you any differently from the 1st date. 2nd example, I had sex with my ex on the 2nd date and we ended up being in a committed relationship for almost 5 years. Eventhough we had sex soon, she was still a classy lady with a good head on her shoulders with a future. It just didn’t work out between us.

The bottom line is this… I’m just like everyone else. I follow my intuition.

I can’t say that it’s something I would do regularly. I mean I know chicks who meets 2-3 dudes in 2 weeks and have sex with all of em<<<< now thats trifling…but I can see how it can happen once or twice in a life time, it just depends on the situation.

STOP PLAYIN AND LET’S ALL KEEP IT REAL, OF COURSE IT DOES.
I LIKE A CHALLENGE AND IF I GET IT ON THE 1ST DATE I WILL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY AGAIN. LADIES HAS IT EVER WORKED OUT WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ON THE 1ST DATE??

If the intention is simply sex and both parties are mature enough to keep it moving as normal the next day with kindness and respect to each other, that is totally different than a date.

I view a date as someone being interested in pursuing another over a period of time because of the qualities that they percieve their future partner to have. I do not agree with intimacy on the first date or the second date or the third. It should take a long time before that should happen when its obvious there is more involved.

Biggest suggestion of all, invest in some toys. Because as we age, we become a little more choosy only because of the mental stimulation portion and the maturity level. There are 38 year old men that are not mature and behave like boys and will cause some negative situtations behind sex. but mentally, I can not get down if my mind is not stimulated. Flat out. Once that mental is stroked, all inhibitions are released and the passion flows free and its maximum pleasure. Which is a rare thing. Even though alot of people will boast “oh I have maximum pleasure all the time”, whuuuhhhtevvaaa…there is always a difference, always.

With a grain of salt,
Cheers :p

IT DEPENDS ON THE VIBE. PEOPLE HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THE STEREOTYPICAL GENDER B/S AND BE ADULTS. I HAVE BEEN ENVOLVED WITH BOTH AND IT WASNT A DIFFERENT. I DATED A WOMAN BEFORE AND WE HAD SEX ON THE 1ST DATE AND THE RELATIONSHIP LASTED 2 YRS. SO IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW THE 2 OF U VIBE AND THE MATURITY LEVEL OF BOTH PARTIES.

personally to me it doesn’t matter. if i like a female conversation and presence it doesn’t matter. i’ve waited before and i’ve got it on da first night before. my ole lady gave it to me on the first night, was i expecting to like her, no. that got me there, her personality and how she treats me keeps me with her. so to me, it doesn’t matter. if i see something in you, i’m going to stick around.

In most cases it doesn’t matter to me. In general I think it matters a whole lot. If a woman were to ask for my opinion I’d tell her to not do it.

case by case there is no general deal for this but as a guy I like to get to know the person before we get into all that

Do what you like…But it does matter!! real talk!!

What i DONT Understand is how does a Womans Worth depend on how soon she opens her legs. Does me givin Up the Dick make me Any More of a Man or Any Less..? Pu$$y is NOT GOLD & Has NO MORE worth Then My Dick & Balls. Why Front & fight ya desires when You want the dick & think if you dont give in to your Hormones your some how a better person for it..?? GROW UP ! Ive had a few great relationships that came out of what would have been a one night stand or at least ones where We Hooked Up the SAME Night! Its called Chemistry! We Both had it, We Both had desires & We Acted Upon it! Theres MANY More things to judge a Woman on or How High her HO Level may be Other than How soon ya hook up. If You KNOW U a Ho then U are probably a Ho. But a Woman that Hooks Up same night I see as a Woman that knows What she wants & Just Goes AFTER it same way I KNow what I want & go after it.

can’t make a h0e a housewife!
lol@ this clown below me trying to justify being a low class s**t. 2 words
NIGGUH PLEASE!
who do you THINK you’re fooling?!
lol@ clowns trying to get brownie points.

if you are willing to have sex with me on THE FIRST NIGHT……..you can forget ANY chances of me respecting you………….and marriage???………..ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

some of the comments realyl stupid, lol like the one that saids cant turn a w***e into a house wife,and the one about ,if the woman does she gets no call after that!! first of all why is it put on the woman? why is she the bad guy if she has sex the first date, what that make the man then??? oh he gets brownie points!! and the comment about house wife!! the first date and aready who is caring about husband and wife its the first date? why would he even have wife in his head! if 2 grown people do it on the first date, so its there choice,if you dont respect each other from the jump start sex, on any date is a wrap.

I ‘d recommend women not doing it because of all the BS double standards. In this society men a relatively free to act on their desires women are not.

It only matters if it matters to YOU. You know in your heart and mind what you want. When you saw that guy/girl at the club the other night, you knew right away you wanted some of that. So when you hooked up later, there was no question at what was gonna happen. Now, if you were at church and during a deep sermon you two looked up at the same time and caught each others eyes and just knew it was love, well that’s different. I’m just using examples by the way because these instances in themselves don’t mean anything. Whether you are a guy or girl, you don’t usually just meet someone and instantly know that this is the one you will spend your life with. If you did, then there wouldn’t be so many divorces and cheating. It’s ususally physical attraction that brings the two of you together, but once that happens, sh** goes sideways. Girls get too sensitive. They know they were physically attracted to you and got a little moist when you whispered in their ear, but they don’t want you to think they easy. But girl you know you want him to take you home and smash it!! Stop playin!! If you are looking for a relationship, stop looking in the clubs, bars, etc. Most people in there are ready to party, not get married. Most of the guys you meet, no matter where you meet them, are already in a committed relationship (or at least the girl or girls they bangin thinks so), so you probably aren’t anything but a jump off anyway. There are few TRULY single men you meet. Now if he is TRULY single and showing you interest, then by all means, keep it tight and tease him a little. But you need to let the guy know you are not interested in a quickie relationship. EVERYBODY needs to let it be known at the first date what it is you are looking for. Stop being afraid of rejection (whether yes sex or no sex). If it is the guy or girl you want for whatever reason, it won’t matter what you say because if they DON’T want what you want, then they aren’t worth chasing after!! That being said (Haa haa, I always have lots to say), it depends on the situation with me. I’ve never had sex with someone the very first day I met them, but I have had “first date” sex. Honestly, I was just horny. But if I actually like someone and feel I want to be with them, I spend more time trying to get to know them better. If I just want sex, I get it. And if you eventually have sex with someone anyway, what does it matter which “date” you had it on? I will say that I have tried to “hold out” just because I wanted him to think better of me.

oh, and it does matter if you are worried about image. I personally wouldn’t sleep with a bunch of guys in a short period of time, but you should know that if you do, you will be looked at in a negative way, even if you just getting yours. OR you could be like SUPERHEAD and be so damn good at it that you get rich and dudes don’t care how many been through you….but, that’s a whole nother story

Cant test drive the car, why buy it?

Oh oh the classic double standard huh? Its not a good idea, BUT if you feel the need it should’nt be held against a chick…I dont recall shunning a man for acting on his desires so why should us chicks get a bad name for it?

It takes two to tango, last tie i checked it takes TWO to screw not one, so it would be both doing it on the first nite

IT DOSE NOT MATTER IF U HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST ,SECOND OR THIRD DATE!! IF ALL HE WANTS 2 DO IS HAVE SEX WITH YOU!! ONCE HE GETS IT HE WILL LEAVE U ANY WAY!! MEN WILL TELL U ANY THING 2 GET WHAT THEY WANT!! AND HALF THE TIME U DONT CARE IF HE LEAVES CAUSE THE SEX SUCKS ANY WAY!!

what if she wants it bad and his punk azz is scared shytless cause he came across some booty he cant handle?im sick and tired of this little miss muffit bullshyt that females play like ur puzzies dont get hot and wet with the clitoris hanging down waiting to be licked on and sucked until you c**m all over the place.i say fuch if its in the cards and if the dick or puzzy is good then start some good shyt until it ends.

haha
2 questions
1. why do people feel the need to write “NOVELS” on hellougly blogs?! – rhetorical

2. to all the MEN who are making excuses………..what if your DAUGHTER had sex on all her first dates?…………i’ll wait for your answre. lmao

@sooooooooooooooodamstupid
did I say anything about double standards???? THINK before you make a stupid remark like that. matter of fact JUST THINK!!!!

@EVERYONE
stop being so fukcing emotional on these blogs! UNLESS you know someone who’s commenting PERSONALLY, you DON’T know how they think and you SURE as hell DON’T know how they would react in certain situations.

There are women you seek out for sex purposes only, so sex is expected on a first date, if a date is necessary!! My children’s mother and I did not have sex for a month or more of dating, every weekend, and produced our first child six months later, our second 5 yrs. later!!!

Why is this being debated?
Hopefully everyone knows it is wrong to have sex on the first date.

The longer a woman waits the better. If I “hit” it on the first date I would assume this lady does this all the time.

Personally, in my eyes everything that men call us, they r 2. If a woman is a hoe just cuz she f**kin or giving head, then men r hoes 2 cuz yall doin da same thing. The only difference is she suckin & he lickn. Anyway men pull dey dick out quicker den a woman will open her legs. If a man is considered as a pimp or playa cuz he has alot of women, then r pimps & playas 2!

Personally, in my eyes everything that men call us, they r 2. If a woman is a hoe just cuz she f**kin or giving head, then men r hoes 2 cuz yall doin da same thing. The only difference is she suckin & he lickn. Anyway men pull dey dick out quicker den a woman will open her legs. If a man is considered as a pimp or playa cuz he has alot of women, then women r pimps & playas 2!

i think its crazy how much sin is the norm now a days LMAO if u givin it up on the first date u obviously have some internal issues u need to deal with. have sum dignity and self respect for urself

COUNT ME OUT

I agree with everyone that think it is definetly “wrong” to have sex on 1st date, I ain’t gotta judging anyone. They need think again before doing it because having sex on 1st date mean to harash and don’t want take time getting know him. It may be low confidence. Why is that most ladies say “there is nothing wrong”. Are they the same ones whom were in other News section when announced some famous people got pregnant from Lil Wayne or same father? they be like “they better start close legs” what about themselves that need close legs? That is why I don’t come in any new section much, It would turn out that exactly particular persons be trying hypocritical. I don’t understand…but bible says “Don’t judge or you shall be judged”

If two people click on a first date does it make either one any less for choosing to have sex? In my opinion, no. It’s their business. Sin is a human created idea, I have never met a God of the universe or of any religion that has ever spoken about me being a sinner for having sexual desires or for having pre-marital sex. lol ( some people are way too naive for their own good ) Does this type of topic really matter? As pointed out, women love sex just as much as men do probably more ideally. Men, we have two heads I will go out on a limb and say for most of us the influence to have sex a whole lot is more physical than it is mental. Testosterone is a powerful hormone in men, combined that with our Libido, and adrenalin and you got a serious wolf on the prowl. I do acknowledge that a woman is given the bad end of the stick for having multiple sex partners or being easy. Where as with a man this behavior is seen as typical of our difference in behavior. In any case two people who want to have sex on a first date obviously has strong chemistry so why bring in a bunch of side liners on a one on one. I can personally can less… These Bp topics are like bad tabloids…

The sad truth is…most men don’t respect a woman that sleeps with a man on the first day.

Females are (in most cases) more emotional than males. I say if the female knows that she doesn’t want a relationship with the guy and can take emotion out of the sex, then why wait. Of course if you like the guy I think you should wait, but females are entitled to one night stands too.

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i don’t really go on dates. thats a waste of money.but i have had sex with a few ladies meetin for the first time.to me it’s just sex.i had this one chick .gettin rooms every weeks.sometimes twice in one week.she tried to fu*k.the first day we met.but the next night this ho don got a room and had music playin. had what i drink.and smoke. and that lasted about 3mos…but i got tired of her real quick.she wanted to much of my time. bit*h act like she never had good dick befo.

I can’t speak for most men…as some do have certain perceived notions of what a woman should be. It depends on what works for the both of you…as everyone has their preferences. For example if a man is looking for “pureness”, it will only work if yall have that in common. Personally, I’m not judgmental with all that virtuous crap

For me personally if I like you…and feel we have a lot in common, whether I like your or not won’t matter if it happens on the 1st, 2nd, or 5th date. Personally, I like a woman who isn’t on that “virtuous” B.S, because imho chemistry matters 1st. If we have chemistry…and we hit it off, my ideal woman would go with, as I like to put it, the flow of passion. Sounds weird but that’s just me *shrugz*. I like a woman who can think for herself rather than always catering to what she’s “supposed” to be. For a woman who I’d have a lot in common with, this isn’t even an issue

Having sex too soon might ruin a relationship. but waiting for it LONG after you dated isn’t good either…there are kids RIGHT NOW having it (they shouldn’t), but that’s today…..
I’m not saying if you don’t give it up I’m dumping you; the lady can give it up, then can be psycho and treat you like dirt and I can leave before the fatal attraction happens…..
But If I’m a gentleman and I do EVERYTHING for her, pay her bills, take care of her material needs, then it IS a relatuionship without sex, and what guy wants that if he wants to be with the lady of his dreams? Not me……

What they should have said was this should apply to teenagers and young people in their 20′s. When in their 30′s and up it is a different thing. I knew many people through my job who dated so that question doesn’t always apply to everybody. An example is two friends had sex on their first date with each other. Three months later got married and had children and they’re still together 14 years very happy. Then there was another two friends who done the same thing in their twenties but the relationship came with too much drama after 10 wasted years and break up.
All these dating rules were created by who else…mainstream media and certain groups for a reason. Last time I checked, why would I wanted someone to tell me HOW to live my life and it’s all about CONTROL/POWER and MONEY for them?? Did THEY wrote a bible on dating? Who told them they got free will over other people’s lives??
Check out all those fashion magazines women buy all the time telling them how to get a man, keep him, make him happy and all that bs. Mostly white women buy these magazines like Vogue and Cosmopolitan just look at how they worshiped Sex in the City. Back than I knew some white chicks in their twenties at work who slept with every single men they dated. The majority of the men were only interested in sex but one got lucky and married out of all them. She took my advice…throw them stupid magazines away and be you not your friends or follower!

LOOK I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS BULLS**T LAST NIGHT AND WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED AND NO IM NOT CALLING HER ANY MORE. IM VERY DIFFERENT WHEN IT COMES TO THESE RULES, FOR 1 I NOT GOING TO ASK TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU IF IM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU, AND I HOPE THAT YOU DONT EXCEPT UNLESS YOUR ATTRACTED TO ME, WITH THAT BEING SAID, SEX ON THE FIRST NIGHT IS MY CHOICE IF YOU DON’T 99.99% OF THE TIME IT WONT BE A SECOND DATE. I HAVE A LOT GOING FOR MYSELF AND I BRING MY SHARE TO THE TABLE AND BY BEING A BUSINESS MAN I DON’T WASTE TIME BECAUSE TIME IS MONEY. I HATE TO PUT IT THIS WAY BUT I MUST BE CLEAR, DATING A WOMAN IS LIKE BUYING AN EXPENSIVE CAR, Y WOULD I BUY UNLESS I KNOW HOW SHE RIDES. FOR ME I GOT TO KNOW HOW U PERFORM IN BED TO REALLY GET MY FULL ATTENTION. THATS ME. JUST KEEPING IT REAL

“you putting the p***y on a pedestal” lol

sad sad sad….

Yes it does….. especially if she wants a 2nd date and maybe more.

Women Have Bad Taste In Men

Perionne27,
Well damnit Perionne27, we finally AGREE wholeheartedly on this one!

IF THE VIBE IS RIGHT, THEN WHY NOT SEX ON THE FIRST DATE?

in my actual relationships, sex happened the first night or day. on most meetings (wouldnt call them dates”) sex happens within an hour or a few. its always the woman who initiates it as well. and they seem to want it the first night. i dont mind that because it shows me they are mature. and even if nothing continues, we still end up being friends. those “virtuous” women seem immature and i never end up talking to them again. if you are not attracted to someone, what is the point of going out? point for example, i have known guys to act really pure and gentlemen like when taking a girl out. but a couple of times after they gone out and did nothing, i would be talking to the girl in her neighbourhood and the next thing we are outside behind the wall of the basketball court doin it. and they are telling me how the guy dating them is a wuss or a punk. thats real, so take notice fellas.

oh yeah and Perionne, i agree again. this is getting boring man, lets argue about race….

okay just read the article.
found it stupid especially this comment “As a woman, I would say that sex on the first date is not a good idea if you like this guy.”

hahaha. so its a good idea if you dont like the guy. i always said “the boyfriend” has the worst end of the stick. the other guy gets it all. thats just opinion from experience. dont ask what experience. thats X rated

Um no thanks.

Ah, Perionne27, what you said in your last post sounds great in theory, but let’s face it; women always get the short end of the stick when putting out so soon…we end up wanting more and you want less.

I’m trying celibacy. So far so good.

I don’t know and at this point dont really care. Marriage isn’t part of my plans anyway along with kids. A lot of women are concerned about this issue because they are LOOKING for something longterm and don’t want to risk doing anything that may turn a guy away. Other women who have more respect for their self being are just not down for laying with a man on the first night. As a woman, I am quick to think to myself, if he can do this with me on the first night, how many other women he’s been laying around with freely. I know the past shouldn’t matter, but it does when the MF could be HIV positive. There is a serious matter of concern when it comes to sleeping around freely. Getting back to the article, if you don’t respect yourself than nobody else will. So if you are the person who believes this will affect a relationship between that dude and you, then don’t do it. If you want it, than take it without any regrets.
@hera12: yeah i hear you on the celibacy part.

hey its up to you if you wanna take that risk its like playing the lotto sometimes you win ( meaning some clean good yum) or you just may get burned lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me personally don’t believe in doing that, the risk is too high. BUT I’m not knocking anybody that does. I think its all about what a person wants from that person. If a serious/monogamous relationship is what 1 wants then NO. Take some time out and get to really KNOW each other. If you just want a little somethin’-somethin’ to “occupy” your time with then go for it, just keep it clean/safe. For the most part just let it go where its going to go. But I have to agree @ lilq2286 and others talking about safe sex and stds

This is how men think ladies. When a man see and talk to a woman. He knows right off the back if he really wants her, wants to just hit, or want to be just her friend, or she just a chick he wants to use up. When a man approach u and has talked to u, he knows what he wants from u. No matter how u try to time things, this man mind will not change unless he find out u crazy or he find out u got money. Then u have to look at women who do wait because they think they found the man they want, he can have everything going, and when they sleep with him and the sex is bad, they will loose intrest in this man. Then on the flip side say u did wait and this man agenda was just to have sex with u, if he a good looking man who gets females which is what most females like the man with swagga, he will just sex another woman till u give up yours. Then u would have been caught all these feelings for this man and all he wanted was the sex, then their u go heart broken, like most ladies end up. So ladies the wait game does not work unless u messing with a man who can not really get girls. If u like this man do what u got to do to get him. Because believe me some other chick will be blowing his mind while u sitting over their playing the wait game. The man already knows what he wants, or already got a girl and want just a little piece on the side. So if it feel right go with the flow.

Well honestly I love sex sometimes its hard to control the urge especially when you’re single and just on a date and as long as I like the person and have a pack of Magnums in my purse ….I dont see whats gonna stop me :)

…A couple of people made excellent points about STDs, but whether you have sex with a guy on the first date or six months into the relationship, it’s a risk. Obviously, if you have sex with him the first night/day you meet, chances are that he’s engaged in casual sex with other women and the likelihood of getting an STD is higher. HOWEVER, men are men–they will still sleep around, whether it’s with you or someone else. I’m not condoning this type of behavior, I am simply advising women to be aware. Holding off on sex for a few months doesn’t guarantee a “special place” in that guy’s heart.

Also, I know a woman who was with a guy for eight years before she found out that he was cheating around on her (with men)…but that’s another “Oprah”.

That is disgusting to me allowing some strange man to insert himself inside of me….No thanks! Personally I don’t believe in Casual -Sex plain and simple! Why Give a Man the most sacred gift you have! A Man should earn my affection and no matter what he says, there is no way he has earned my body the first date ugh………………..

I am soo glad when they post topics like this so, I can go right to the Man’s Profile and get a mental image of the Man that I would NOT DATE! Besides! Who would want to try a Million Di*** before they settle down. If your stuff is all messed up then of course you will have to keep searching for a slong! because a oscar meyer weiner won’t do! lol!

Like a Man can’t tell that you’ve been getting banged 6 ways to Sunday! You really have nothing left to Give, Go SIT DOWN lol!

“Little boys on the contrary are taught to be conquerors and the more notches under their belt the better a man they are.”

Actually, nobody taught me this. If i liked a girl, I pursued her. It came naturally. But as for sleeping on the first date in general, although sex is very tempting and so gratifying when done right, ideally, it is better not to treat sex cheaply – that goes for both men and women. It is so much better to wait until you find the right person to give it up to. The more your spread it around, the cheaper and less intimate sex becomes. That wont change, no matter what today’s society says. Zip it up, and lock it down if you can.

I feel like I win either way when it comes to situations like this, it depends on the person. I remember I had a lady friend I was cool with since high school, and I was crazy about her. She like me a lot too and I knew it, but we just stayed friends and kept in touch(she moved out of state), we never went out or anything, we just gave each other good convo. She came back not too long ago, and we went on a date, and we’re the type of people that don’t force anything, we just go with the flow. We talked and reminisced on our past, she enjoyed my company and I enjoyed hers, and it just happened(and it was gooooooood lol). We still don’t go together, and I haven’t talked to her in a min. but it hasn’t ruined our relationship at all, we just like our space, and we’re not trying to force something to happen from one night of sex. If i’m trying to get closer to a woman I just met, I’ll set up a date, but I wouldn’t even attempt to get sex on a first date, even if I can. I don’t even want to put a woman in a pressure situation like that, it could ruin a potential friendship. I want to see if were compatable first, see if we have any similarites/interest. I LOVE getting to know a woman, and I’m always curious. Thinking about sex all the time takes away the substance of conversation and I HATE weak convos. If a woman doesn’t talk, I think she has something to hide, and I don’t like woman who have a habit of keepinng secrets, I HAVE to get to know her first before we take it any further.

I am going to be as honest as possible. It doesn’t matter how long you wait to engage in sexual relations with a man, because if thats all we want, thats all our focus is going to be on. I have honestly waited years just to sleep with someone, I just kept in touch, we go out, & hang out sometimes, we fooled around going pass some bases. But never went all the way. But I eventually got what I wanted, and that was that. It wasn’t like she was the only person I was messing with at the time either, I mean I was single, so I played the field, I was getting laid, while being patient & a respectful friend. I never at anytime made it seem that us sleeping together, was the only thing keeping us acquainted. So it doesn’t matter whether u sleep with someone on the first date or not.

Ahh Hera12…like I said in the 1st paragraph…it only works if you have that in common. For example, you’re into celibacy. Personally, I would not be into a woman who views sex that way…so we probably wouldn’t hit it off. However, if you meet a man who has that “virtuous” mentality withhold sex mentality, then it may work for you and him. However if I meet a girl that says “I’m into celibacy”, I know immediately that we view relationships and sex differently. I view sex as something two people should equally want just as much and get into…not a prize or a product

So for a woman who I have a lot in common with…and I usually sense that chemistry immediately, it isn’t a problem. Personally, I don’t have sex with women who don’t want it as badly as I do and would never have a gf like that. If I don’t sense an equal desire or passion…we either remain friends or acquaintances

And Lol @ Mungu1 and Cali

And to add that…I guess it depends on your mentality. Personally, I’ve never viewed sex as something you “Give up” *shrugz*…I just always viewed it as grown up business lol…two partners with similar mindsets getting into it. And if you don’t have the same mindset, well there’s the conflict

Perionne27, you’re the first man i’ve ever seen say “i’ve never viewed sex as something you give up.” thank you!!!

ladies, if you still have the mindset that you’re “giving up” your puzzy to a man, then you shouldn’t be fuccing in the first place! who wants to “give up” anything? lol…you better go GET that dick!

A nut is a nut… GET YOU (safely). Unless you’re trying to marry somebody, but your not thinking about that on the first date anyway. I’m just saying I wouldn’t marry a chick I hit on the first date, she’s too easy.

Peionne, why do you feel people who are into celibacy view sex as a prize or a product?? They cant see sex as something beautiful that they want to share with their soulmate/ the person they are 99.99-100% they will spend the rest of their life with?? Im not following your logic.

I think if two people are capable of having an adult conversation about the potential consequences of having sex early then no need to play hard to get. This conversation is no different then the one night stand conversation. If two people mutually want something why act like you don’t. As a woman it didn’t take me very long to realize that pu$$y controls and that I have the opportunity to manipulate a situation if I want to, but those games had to end once I entered adulthood. So rather than play the game of cat and mouse I have no problem with having sex on the first date if that’s what I want. What will make or break the situation is if my partner doesn’t have the capacity to have a conversation about the “what ifs”. Waiting a day or a lifetime doesn’t change the end result.

I feel to each his/her own, but pesonally i feel that if you want to have a stable, pehaps long lasting relationship, a person should wait a while before having sex or until they are comfortable and know enough about each other…If a person’s going to have sex, remember a few min. of pleasure can lead to unprepared consequences, so wear a condom!

honestly most black women always look for that real good lookin nigguh in the club or at the store or in the streets, she is turnt on by his looks and his money and the cars rather than if he’s a hoe, slob , skank, womanizer and doesnt really appreciate what a woman can offer. then you have men that always go to the club , streets, stores wherever and look for the breasts, booty and thickness…and if she’s pretty wit the complete package he’ll have smash her..its plain n simple…not all men are like that but to me it seems like it, dudes are sick especially black men they degrade women in their lame music videos just to make a buck and the women fall for it only because their trying to get paid, if u go around having sex wit every tom,dick and hairy and wonder why u cant have nobody or be loved , then rethink about how u meet every guy and stop being a s**t. thee end!

Miss_Pink_Diamond

Maybe my choice of words wasn’t the most elegant way to put it. I see sex as something beautiful that I want to share with a soulmate or person I have great chemistry with as well. In fact, I wouldn’t have sex with someone with whom I wasn’t on that level with. However, if I meet a woman who’s into celibacy, no matter which way you try to spin it, if her mentality truly is to wait it out to have that “beautiful” moment, then it can be said that her soulmate would be unwrapping the forbidden fruit that’s been withheld for all that time…no? So it can be seen as a “prize”…I romantic, joyful, and intimate prize between 2 lovers, but something that is “preserved” nonetheless. Do I need to explain further or are you still confused?

Someone who believes in holding out probably has conservative views about sex and is waiting for someone to “give it up to”. So again, maybe my choice of words wasn’t as elegantly put as it could be, but that was essentially my point. And as I’ve stated for me personally I wouldn’t want a woman who sees sex as something you “give up”. Hope there’s no misunderstanding

Smh…I hate this new interface…wtf lol

Lmao Kris87

Well unfortunately it seems that a lot of people in general view sex that way. I’m not saying everyone has to get out there and get wild lol…to each his or her own of course. But sex should be something two grown, mature, similar minded people choose to get into. I feel that’s where most of the judgment stems from, some people imho view puzzy as a “product” that can be used and thrown aside like it has an expiration date..and some women view puzzy as something they give up rather than something they’re Sharing with their partner. I mean I understand where the mindset stems from, just saying lol

Personally I want a woman that’s as passionate as I am and doesn’t have that “giving it up” mentality. My ideal woman isn’t just taking what I may put on her…she’s owning it ;)

Perionne27, i completely understand :)

I Too, cant stand this interface. I still feel that for the most part, people view sex the same, its just the way they go about presenting or expressing how they feel is different. Like you say you believe sex is something beautiful to be shared, however two people might express how they want to share that differently. I think the term ‘Give it up’ stems from the stupid view that women ‘Give’ men sex (as if they dont benefit from it as well) I mean everything, is most certainly not for everyone. If someone is comfortable having sex on the 1st date–why not?! People have married one night stands, fallen in love–etc. If sex is all you have to offer, then and only then should you withhold it (LOL). I personally couldnt have sex on the first date, but that doesnt mean I’m more worthy than someone else…I mean Joan’s three month rule still left her ass single up until the 8th season!!

Lol well I guess it’s a difference in perspective Miss_Pink_Diamond *shrugz*. I think there’s a difference between someone who’s just so happen to not having sex…and someone who’s putting their goodies on lockdown, closing it for business until further notice. To me, that’s looking at it as something you give up, because you’re waiting for a reason to give it up…rather than it be something you feel at the moment

So for example say I’m dating a woman, and she says “I’m celibate for a while”, even though we’re hitting it off well, it can be viewed as something that’s being given up…as something she views as something she’s giving up. But hey, different ways of looking at it, but I don’t think what I stated is a farfetched perspective. Like I said, there are also men who look at it as something a woman gives up, something he’s finally gotten, while there are women that look at it as giving up the prized goodies lol

Btw way to clarify, as I said in my very 1st post…it would only work if you have that in common, from both perspectives. I may view sex as something passionate/intimate, especially with someone I’m hitting it off with, but for someone who’s consciously practicing celibacy, essentially she’s simply withholding, unless the feelings between the both of us aren’t mutual

Casual sex (aka sex on the first date) usually sends a message to a man that is hard to ignore…Namely, How many other guys has she given it up to this easy? Wonder if she used condoms all those other times? Hmmm….Wonder if I can get her to go raw…? Usually its all downhill from there. That moment may be pleasurable, but can lead to many easy to forsee difficulties…and also leads to that “Uhh…Did I just do that? Yep, I did that…Wonder what he thinks now? Moment…not worth a few minutes of pleaasure, I say…and nobody respects a “ho”…no matter how daintily she’s dressed. Its the aftermath of the one night stand that can become a bug problem…in fact, it can bring too many problems. Better to wait and take a bit more time to see what is beneath the surface charm, when it comes to Men. Sometimes, when you wait, you find that they would not be someone you’d really want to be with anyway…I am a firm believer in “More Will Be Revealed…” thats why I wait…and take care of my own needs in the meantime…

I personally have never been the type to have sex on the first date i usually wait a long time however I have done this once and I think it’s unfair to say if a woman does this the guy will no longer want to pursue her- a guy that will sleep with a woman on the first date isn’t attractive to a woman any more then it is to a guy. I saw him as a player, i wasn’t offended and I moved on. Besides, after collecting my thoughts I realized afterwards that I didn’t have the same feelings for him that I had for others cause if i did i wouldnt have had sex with him so early—if i was serious about turning it into something more. women have desires too and I think that once in awhile they should be able to give into them without judgement. We need to stop focusing so much on what we are “supposed to be” just cause we are women and focus more on what we want to do and feel is right at the time and just be ready to accept any consequences that may occur. I’m not going to not do something just cause it might give other people a certain impression, I know who i am who cares what they think.

WELL I DON’T GIVE IT UP ON THE FIRST DATE..I’M NOT SAYING I NEVER HAVE..ITS JUST WASN’T 4 ME…AFTERWARDS I FELT LIKE A S**T..AND I FELT LIKE THE DUDE WAS LAUGHING AT ME ON THE INSIDE LIKE HE WON OR SOMETHING…I JUST DIDN’T LIKE THE FEELING..NOW I’M PRACTICING CELEBACY..AND I LIKE IT…IT LETS ME KNOW IF A DUDE IS WILLING 2 GET 2 KNOW ME OR JUST HIT AND LEAVE..CAUSE IF A DUDE IS REALLY ABOUT SOMETHING IT WOULDN’T MATTER IF U HAVE SEX OR NOT INITIALLY…AND I’M CELEBATE BECAUSE ITS SAFER…ITS SOOO MANY DISEASES OUT HERE NOW A DAYS..AND WHAT PEOPLE FELL 2 REALIZE THAT CONDOMS DON’T PROTECT U FROM EVERYTHING…AND THATS WHY ITS SOO MANY AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALES GETTING HIV LIKE THEY BUYING IT OUT THE STORE OR SOMETHING..NOW I’M NOT TRYING 2 MAKE ANYONE FEEL BAD OR MAKE THEM FEEL THEY SHOULD B CELEBATE..I’M JUST SAYING THINK ABOUT YOUR SELF WORTH,PROTECT YOURSELVES, AND APPRECIATE YOURSELF BECAUSE IF U DON’T A MAN WON’T EITHER

I hear this a lot but cannot find any info. Why do women want to delay sex with someone they care about and are more willing to have casual sex with some random guy that doesnt matter?

I hear this a lot but cannot find any info. Why do women want to delay sex with someone they care about and are more willing to have casual sex with some random guy that doesnt matter?

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