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There are those that believe that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. What this basically means is that men and women communicate differently. Men are direct so therefore, ladies playing coy does not work. They need us to tell them what we want but that can also be labeled as complaining or nagging. This is where positive reinforcement comes into play.  When a woman gives her partner positive comments she is accomplishing a couple of things.  First, she is creating the feeling in him that he had when they first met; the feeling that he is the most important person in the world to her and that she admires him.  When a wife or girlfriend does this well, he is also more likely to listen to her when she makes a request.  Second, positive reinforcement teaches him what she wants from him.  He then feels successful and is likely to do what pleases her even more, according to Monica A. Frank, Ph.D. from WomenOnly.com

Instead of Saying: “Why don’t you spend more time with me, instead of working all the time?”  Try: “I admire you because you are such a hard worker, so let me pamper you tonight as a reward”

Instead of Saying: Why don’t you kiss me anymore? Try: “Your hugs and kisses make me feel so good.”

Instead of Saying: I already asked you take the trash out, can you do it now? After he has taken the trash out try: “Thanks for taking the trash out.  It gives me time to get other things done.”

Experts say that these subtle changes can help you get exactly what you desire from your partner.

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/LastManStandingTall/ LastManStandingTall

    Is this about how to speak to your man, or your CHILD?

    I usually TRY to stand up for my guys, but I have to draw the line here. Any man who needs “positive reinforcement” so his woman doesn’t hurt his feelings is a BOY. I can’t stand those men who need to be handled with kid-gloves because their too sensitive to handle what their women have to say in their own words.

    Be a man and take care of your woman and home, or just move into the kid’s bedroom, play your Xbox and let a real man take care of business!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/trisha_369/ trisha_369

    LMAO at LASTMANSTANDINGTALL…I have to agree,with you and ad-whoever wrote this topic slap your damn self…women nor men talk to eachother like that and half of the women take there on trash out and I have not heard nor known of any man who would want there woman to talk to them like a child. No-im not saying treat them like sh*t either nor talk to them any ole kind away. Its all about RESPECT and things being 50/50.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Num1Bytch86/ Num1Bytch86

    LMAO!!! I was rollin the whole time I read that comment. It’s the truth and I couldn’t have said it better myself. They say they want you to bend over backwards yet still be assertive and that shyt ain’t possible. I’m sorry I choose the stronger of the two. If you can’t deal with the fact that your woman tells you how it is like an adult then you don’t need to be with her. If you feel you must be talked to like you’re the child then you don’t need to be with her! Plain and simple!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/1Divine_soul/ 1Divine_soul

    Get offa my knife, moron!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Intricate-Persuasion/ Intricate-Persuasion

    @LastManStandingTall

    Thank you. While ANY woman with a brain should say things to her man RESPECTIVELY, she doesn’t need to revamp her words as though she is speaking with a child.

    SMH…ladies who are strong minded…get with a man who you respect and who recognizes your strong -mindedness and respects what you say to him.

    SMH…these examples are for the average and simple minded pansies. smh…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/LaDawnThEGreaT1/ LaDawnThEGreaT1

    cool

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/chictatious1/ chictatious1

    lmbo! (eyes are teary)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/WhyMeLawdWhyMe/ WhyMeLawdWhyMe

    I’m not one to judge other men, I leave that for the women to do. I do think that if you feel you have to curve your speech then the two of you are not seeing eye to eye. It takes a certain level of understanding to ensure a lasting relationship. You can speak however you choose to speak, just find someone who you are comfortable with and vice versa. At the end of the day, it is all about respect.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/40hours/ 40hours

    the communication issue in men and women will only change when women learn you have about 30 second to get us to listen to what you want to say. if you cant get it out in that time we are not listening much longer.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/balla_4_real/ balla_4_real

    LMAO, anybody that thinks this is about “handling your man with kid gloves” totally missed the point of this article. Take a look at grandparents who have been married for 35 to 50+ years. Remember how grandma communicates with her husband? Always respectful, and when she ask for something to be done it never sounds like nagging and it always gets done! And most would agree that grandma was the strongest woman that you have known. Its not what you say but how you say it. Think about how you phrase things on your resume’, ” I was the computer guy at the office” vs. ” I worked as a computer technician for 3 years during my employment at Google”. Also I don’t care who you are if your man is as strong minded as you are he does not enjoy having orders barked at him on a daily basis, whether you love and respect someone or not. For example, how many people enjoyed their mother repeating the same thing for them to do over and over again NOBODY! And I would hope that everyone loves and respects their mother more than anything! So most men would get tired of hearing anybody telling them to do this and do that. Life is not about what you say but how you say it! Smart people know this! That’s why a person with a better vocabulary tends to get farther in life than a middles school drop out with a smaller vocabulary, even if the drop out is smarter and a harder worker. LOL this is also the reason why a dancer in a club can get $15 for gas out a man before most of their girls would. I have always respected smart women and Dr. Monica A. Frank PH.D is a SMART WOMAN!! Most smart women know how to “handle” men. And basically that means get them to respect you, do what you ask, and it has nothing to do with sex. Women are generally smarter than men. We have short attention spans, we usually look at the big picture instead of details, and we don’t always consider how other people are affected by our actions and decisions. But I digress…. Men respect the women you come in contact with, treat the woman you love like a queen in public and in private, and be mindful that love is not based on your words but your actions. Women I hope that you would also be respectful to your man in private and especially in public. With no trust or respect there is NO relationship. Men who know how to effectively communicate with women know how to manage their emotions, feelings, and how to translate what they say into “what they mean”. So women a little male-ego/pride management is not a bad idea, its actually genius. Yeah I know I wrote a lot but this is something I have thought about many times and I’m just glad to hear it come from someone else, especially and smart woman lol. Thanks for reading my essay folks God Bless

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CHl_BAD_BlTCH/ CHl_BAD_BlTCH

    Lmfao oh no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO!@So let me pamper you tonight… what?! I would die first… I would lay down on train tracks and await my demise b4 I EVER SAY THAT TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON! For the taking out the trash one I have one better… do it yourself and if he says something about it give him the blank stare! Boom! Works every time!

    http://www.theblacklabelsociety.com

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