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As women we all want to “preserve the sexy,” at all cost. One day, you will have to become “a human being” in your relationship with bodily functions and all; I know it sucks–right! If not, there will be a time when the lights are low and sex is in the air then, BAM, something creeps out –literally. There is no where to hide, so you envision being caught in a bear trap and gnawing off your left ankle, which has to be less painful than the embarrassment you feel at that very moment. You need to escape with a mad dash, anywhere –away from there, while your boyfriend is probably pretending not to smell anything because the mystery is gone in a big way.

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Every woman has to decide what she is comfortable with in her relationship, although some say that your relationship is not legitimate until the bodily function flood-gates open. I say that timing is everything so here is a chart to help you  try and roll those “unfortunates” out slowly:

Von Anisa Chart -Crop


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Check out these hot celebs that “in our head” never, let it rip:

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Gemini510/ Gemini510

    This chart is bulls*** because I’m not waiting 3 months to a year to go to the bathroom at my or his house. Last time I checked everything females can do, guys can do as well so if he has a problem with you going number one, number two, or farting then he isn’t worthy of your time. F**k being sexy at the moment, god made all humans “HUMAN” before he made them sexy, so I believe that we should be concerned with our human tendencies because holding that stuff in can be very painful.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sexynickey/ sexynickey

    I kind of stick to this chart…LOL

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/moneygrip34/ moneygrip34

    keep it real with yourself do what you have to do it’s gonna happen soon or later so might as well get it over as soon as possible then everything will be ok who knows maybe you can rate who’s fart smelled the worst or who burped the loudest you’re only human so i agree with gemini 510 u a pretty young lady i see u from north versailles had family that used to live there got family around pittsburgh bout to eat a big bowl of chili with cheese

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Real_bumbleclot/ Real_bumbleclot

    Ladies you mite as well and let it go. You can walk around trying to hold it in, but reality is a man is going to hear you fart when you 1st spend the nite together becuse you cant hold it in when your sleep and i never met a female that didnt fart in their sleep.

  • http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/cosmos-sex-position-of-the-day-iphone-app/ Cosmo’s “Sex Position Of The Day” iPhone App! | Hello Beautiful

    [...] How Soon Can A Woman Fart In Front of Her Man? [...]

  • http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/cosmos-sex-position-of-the-day-iphone-app/ Cosmo’s “Sex Position Of The Day” iPhone App! | Hello Beautiful

    [...] How Soon Can A Woman Fart In Front of Her Man? [...]

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Killa_Kanibus/ Killa_Kanibus

    @least fart in the other room. Ya’ll complain when we fart right up under you, right? Haha. I know I hold mine in on a date.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Butterfly9481/ Butterfly9481

    My question is “How soon is it for your man to fart in front of you?” This sounds like women are the only ones that FART!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/lloydfrontline/ lloydfrontline

    I say, “let the farts roam free!”

    but come to think of it… It has been a while since I’ve been on any second dates… In fact it’s been a while since I have been on any, dates!

    I wonder if there might be some connection? …Nah!!! …must be a coincidence.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/QLEANQLASSY/ QLEANQLASSY

    lol thats the test to see if you are really loved lol

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/RichardMann11/ RichardMann11

    totally stupid chart. its ok to be a ‘human being’ from day one. a person has to do what a person has to do and sometimes that means in from of someone else.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/mrsholland22/ mrsholland22

    My then boyfriend, now Husband farted in front of me the first day i met him..lol I mean i just started laughing and he joined in. It was funny lol.
    But i on the other hand tried to stick to the chart lol. Now we both free to do what we gotta do and that’s just to be ourselves.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Lovevon/ Lovevon

    If a man is really into you (dating) or really loves you he will care less about your natural God given bodily functions. A grown man will recognize that we are all human and those things happen.

    Now not saying you sit on his face and open ya cheeks while he sleepin and let one out. You can be as discreet as possible but if you have to do it there is no stopping it.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Kenincia/ Kenincia

    Im a self proclaimed HAPPY FARTER!! My now Fiance was and still is disgusted by it when I fart in front of him!! I never do it on purpose, I try to keep it but WOW it just sneaks up on a sistah!! LOL!! And I will go number 2 anywhere!!! No way I’m holding that!! I would walk into the bathroom WHILE he’s shaving and sit down. He would frown, laugh then leave. Hell, the first time I met his parents We were all at The cheesecake Factory in Atlanta and I became so nervous that I just began to pass gas, and I couldn’t stop!! Yeah now that was embarrassing!! They don’t stink though. Sumtimes, but most of the time they don’t. But he loves me this I know. I’m real all day every day!! I’m not gonna have gas/cramps for no man!! I been with him for, well it will be 11 years on our wedding day this year!! So he’s happy!! The funny part is he’s never farted or went number 2 in front of me. He has stomache aches a lot. LOL!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CHl_BAD_BlTCH/ CHl_BAD_BlTCH

    Lmfao@that list… thats why men act like we don’t fart and take dumps now! I say gross him out first so it won’t be a shock later!

    http://www.theblacklabelsociety.com/

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