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Sanya and Ross
Hello Beautiful…..

There is something so special about loving a man, the right man!

I’m so lucky  to be in love with an amazing man. We’ve been together for six years and I fall in love with him more and more each day. He’s made me a better person and added all his good traits to me, or at least the ones I’m mature enough to change. Here are some of the things that have made our relationship work.

VALUE YOUR MAN
No matter how much time has passed you should always make your man feel valued. Let him know how great he is, he has to be doing something right, that’s why you’re with him! Make him know you value his opinion, his dedication to you or his work, his clean look….whatever!

KEEP IT UP
Whatever it is, if you did it to get him, you better do it to keep him. Continue getting your hair and nails done. Throw on one of your hottest outfits every now and then. It’s important that you keep him attracted to you! If you don’t someone else will!!!

MAKE HIM MISS YOU
My job takes me all over the country and away from my honey for weeks at a time. Although I always miss him so much, the saying is so true, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Every time I see him after a long trip, its like seeing him for the first time! Don’t think you always have to be with your man, give him a chance to miss you……it’s always worth it!

MAKE ONE OF HIS HOBBIES YOURS
All men like their space and their guy time, but every now and then, its nice if you pop in. Learn his favorite video game and surprise him with your new moves. Men love when you pay attention and he will feel really special that you took the time.

LOVE IS A CHOICE NOT A FEELING
You won’t wake up everyday and feel madly in love but it doesn’t mean that you’re not in a great relationship. Remember when he comes home everyday he choses to be with you! Don’t fuss and fight over the small things…..he could be anywhere and he wants to be with you!

FALL BACK
As women of color, I think this may be the hardest thing to do, but it may be the most important. Yes, we usually make everything happen, but we have to know when to fall back and let him take the lead. There can be two eyes, two hands, and two feet, but there can only be ONE HEAD!

I won’t boast to be an expert in relationships by any means or do I believe I have the perfect one, but I must say I have loved being and growing in mine! Of course we have our bad days but when you’ve found the right one, like the songs says, “I’d rather  have hard times with you, than good times with someone else!”

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/DAREALRECKLESS/ DAREALRECKLESS

    good advice but black women of today need to be taught how to recognize a “good man” first.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/soultherapy/ soultherapy

    congrats! yes, i would like to know the signs of a good man?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/butterpecandeluxe/ butterpecandeluxe

    I think that women know how to recognize a “good man”. They just don’t appreciate him and when that “good man” is gone they try to replace him with the “not so good man” and get mad when that “good man” finds his “good woman” somewhere else.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Shalela/ Shalela

    Oh wow some that still uses black planet…THANKS FOR THE ADVICE MS. SANYA. I’m a youngster only 19 so I dont have that experience just yet thanks for sharing your wisdom

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sylkiifeather/ sylkiifeather

    in order to truly value a good man, you have to make the mistake of not valuing a good man and losing him….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SkittlesTTRB0212/ SkittlesTTRB0212

    This is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sexyty34/ sexyty34

    yall look so perfect together:)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    Best article ever written

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SimplieBlessed/ SimplieBlessed

    Beautiful pic:) Keep up the good work!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/ThaiLuv/ ThaiLuv

    You go Sanya….you two are beautiful together; I can see the synergy in the pictures. I can’t wait to see the wedding photos that are sure to come.

    So many women give up or define EVERY man off of a few bad encounters but it’s not fair because if you love yourself in the meantime, the love you deserve will produce itself in the opposite sexf. I like the part where Sanya points about learning a few things from the man. So many women want to be independent, well the dictionary defines independence as “not influenced..by others; thinking for oneself; not subject to another’s authority; not relying on another or others for aid or support”. If you keep pushing the capability of doing everything for yourself then you are going to be by yourself, the only one making provisions for yourself. It’s okay to learn a few things from a man, it’s not always about what you bringing to the table that he should appreciate and value about you, what are his loving, discerning and noteworthy traits that make you sit up and pay attention to yourself? Ladies, please do better, stop aiding and abetting the wrong man into staying into the wrong type of man. If women stop competing with each other and make a collective decision to raise their standards so that the worthless men can dignify themselves enough to become worthy then loving relationship won’t seem so unloving and burdensome when there is difficulty and conflict.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/ThaiLuv/ ThaiLuv

    @ soultherapy….know the signs of the wrong type of man and make adjustments on your requirements and be realistic. Every man with children don’t have to have horrible mothers attached to their children. I happen to be a wonderful mother to my daughter and whomever her father dates doesn’t have to worry about any dramatic scenes from me because I make it a point to take the lead in honoring others…and I keep it classy at all times, not matter the emotion I am feeling. Steve Harvey’s book, “Act like a Lady, Think like a man” is so wonderful. The advice and admonition that he gives in his book is realistic and thought provoking. It will definitely make you check yourself. Now I am a very put together female, but I am still a work-in-progress (meaning I always see an opportunity for growth). This client came into my job today and he was so fine, I had to check myself. It wasn’t just the physical, but he had the stature and verbiage of a man that definitely is saturated in intelligence and earthiness. I love to refine myself….You’ll know him when you know yourself.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/petitesexylady/ petitesexylady

    MAN I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL GOD SENDS ME MY SOULMATE SO I CAN FINALLY PUT A FACE TO THE IMAGE I AM HOLDING ON FOR. LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S WITH THE PERSON GOD HAS CREATED JUST FOR U .

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/courtneyR/ courtneyR

    congratulations Sanya and may the most high keep you two together..Good article.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/badazzyeloboy/ badazzyeloboy

    Well I tell you wat?! With that mind state about your man, your’re gauranteed to keep him forever.

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