This is a sbuject i feel strongly about being a mother of four children 15yrs,6yrs,4yrs,and 2yrs… Spare the Rod and Spoil the child… kids are out of control these days!!! We need to parent our kids. have like back in my day when a child was seen and not heard.. quit letting BET and MTV raise our sons and daughters.Beat is a strong word.. But i will whoop,spank and or get in they behind.. Like my mom did me.. If you dont “beat” them the police will when they break the law!!! Thats just my opinion and for those people who feel we should talk to our kids. I DO when i am whooping their buts for whatever they did wrong…

I agree that if a child does not have fear in the parent(s) in their primary years, then in the teen and/or young adult years trouble will be at stake when it comes to trying to discipline. A good point was made that if someone is still hitting their child after a certain age then obviously the child has adopted to it and is not learning nor caring about receiving that type of punishment. Sometimes different forms of punishment is needed, so that they will understand when you get out in the real world and do wrong your punishment will be worst then receiving a whooping. The best we as adults can do is teach and pray that children use common sense when needing to make smart decisions. After all from the time children know left from right and beyond, the child will have to make their own decisions and remember from our (the parents) teachings that there are consequences for making bad decisions.

As a mother of a 3yrs adopted little boy, I believe in the saying “Whether or not I brought u into this world and I will take u out, I mean I raised u, fed u, clothed u, and sheltered u and over my dead body will u disrespect me or my home”. But the way I was raised was, you show a child that u love them and what love is about and when they reach a certain age then the discipline comes into play. My son has never had a spanking or any kind of beaten, but I know when he gets old he may need them.

This is a complicated issue and even psychological studies cannot say whether beating is okay when it comes to black children who are often being raised in tougher environments than other kinds of american children. I think that we should all agree that excessively beating your child is a NO. Also, anyone expecting a beating to solve anything by itself is just kidding themselves. When you punish your child as well as teach your child and let them know they are loved they tend to turn out well. The punishment doesnt have to be physical but if it is so be it. Like the author pointed out, the idea of getting hit always upset me more than the actual punishment, just the fact that I dissapointed my parents enough that they wanted to do that kept me in line.When you just punish your child over and over again with little or no explanation or just out of anger howener, they tend to learn not to care what you think and get used to the beatings. Those kids become immune to violence and thats a dangerous situation.

As a mother of four children, I have found that disciplining a child starts the moment that little bundle of joy takes his or her first breath. It’s about active, consistent communication. There are children who respond to words, there are children who respond to deeds, and there are those who require some combination thereof. I have spanked my children in the past, however, I have NEVER beaten any of them no matter how egregious the behavior. As I look back at the times I chose physical discipline as my method of communication, I can honestly say that I may have been equally as effective had I chosen an different method. I can also admit that there are still other times when I could have prevented them from getting into trouble had I been more vigilant in the days, or moments, leading up to the bad behavior. It is my position that, although there are times when spanking may be a viable option, we have to start getting to the root cause of the problem. Spanking may cause them to “fear” us, but I’m not convinced the “fear” is the best solution. My children don’t get spankings very often, not because they fear the belt, but because they respect me, and themselves, enough to do the right thing. I believe we’ve become to dependent on “hitting” our children to keep them in line. Although it may be t solution, I’m not sold on the idea that it’s the best option for long-term success in parenting.

I live by the old addage “spare the rod spoil the child” I follow the good book and it says to discipline your child. I have to agree though you CANNOT hit your child out of anger. Take a time out. I recently had to do this with my 15yr old daughter. Your children will try you but if you can strike the fear of God in them at an early age then there’s they know what to do and not to do. But it is an ongoing struggle to keep kids on the straight and arrow. With faith and guidance along with a strong family background will make discipline alot easier.

i honestly don’t disagree not do i agree with spanking your children. cause i have to ( i know this is horrible) but i don’t spank my kids until i tell them the same thing over and over again. but then i think am i spankin them cause i am upset or because they need to learn wrong from right. but i don’t get mad at them cause they are just kids and i think that they need to learn. but a good ol’ butt spanking they don’t get that often. so i try to teach from example and that every wrong thing has consequences.

I don’t have any childern, however taking child development courses in college and also studying psychology in childrens behavior, I’ve concluded every child requires different methods of discipline..

Spanking does not work for every child.. Sometimes it may increase psychological issues and subconciously make the child act out worse.. Some may just need other means of consequences, no toys, playground, t.v., video games, phone, etc..

It’s all about being patient with children, because it’s all about trial and error..

Try different methods and see what works best for a particular child..

Parents who strictly believe spanking children is the ONLY way to get children in-line is soo narrow minded..

Sometimes simply talking with your children can prevent or stop undesirable behavior…

As an only child, my parents did every type of punishment: spankings, time out, washing my mouth out with soap, grounding, etc. Even though I do not have children of my own, I do have god-kids, and I’ve learned that it all depends on the age as well as the child. One of my god-kids will straighten up with just a look. Another has to be grounded, and put to work (extra chores).

My parents taught me that the line between discipline and abuse is crossed depending on your anger level. Are you seeing red when you look at your child? It wouldn’t be wise to discipline at that moment.

My mom would discipline me, but my dad was the top disciplinarian. When we would have to have a “talk”, he would make an “appointment” with me. I some times got my spanking, and some times didn’t. But the spanking never came without us talking before the licks, and a hug a more talking afterwards. I could also tell, that it hurt my dad and my mom when they would have to spank me. Knowing that they did it out of love, added a new appreciation to this form of punishment.

I am a single mother of two and I do on rare occasions spank my children. I believe in “spare the rod spoil the child.” In coming from a single parent home and the only form of punishment was a whooping with no talks before or after only during, I vowed my parenting would not be the same. Talking to your children and giving them the opportunity to think about their actions and problem solve on their behaviour is very important in the learning process I believe. Now when talking does’nt work and you’ve continued to go over the same things repeatedly and taking away games, toys, etc…… well, no more to be said.

if your child(ren) get out of line whn it comes to disrespect and disobedience toward you, yes they get their *** beat. other than that i believe in beating children if they need it.

Being raised in a houshold with both parents and six other siblings, my parents used spankings, corporal punishment, beating of the a**, whatever you may want to call it…
All of us turned out great and, like Jerry Barrow, I remember everyone one to this day and why I recieved them…
As a parent today I incorporate the same philosophy on my kids, and they know I still love them and will lay down my life for them… I see nothing wrong with spankings.

Kick your kids a$$. If you don’t others who don’t care will.

Get beating, whippings, corporal punishments or what you call it bring the power back to the house. And as you see that crime is getting out of hand and the parents believe that their children are good. Not say that beating your child is what you do, but beat them when they have done to it to the extreme. To save our community we need to install corporal punishment in the house whole then back in the community where if your neighbor see the child doing wrong they beat them for doing wrong and tell their parents. Now people just turn their heads and say if it dont effect me then I am not worrying about it.

my answer is: Beat the kids for immoral and habitual stuff but use other form of punishment to counter the beating.

I have a 4 year old son and I be damn if that cat tell me no when i tell him something.

As a child my feelings were more hurt when my mother raised her voice to me and I was more scared of the threats of “violence” as opposed actually getting my behind “whipped.” In hindsight, I believe that I was whipped too often and too harshly. My mother would whip me out of anger and frustration. As someone who now works with children I know that A) children don’t have to be physically punished to get them to behave and B) Punishing a child out while you are angry tends to garner worse results. Time out is your friend as long as you start it early and take the time to go through all the steps consistently. The people who say time out doesn’t work are the people who don’t use it consistently. As Jerry said, also withholding a privilege or a treat is another way to really hit a kid where it hurts. I remember how badly it hurt when my mother made me send back my Baby Alive doll that my father sent one year more than all the whippings I ever had. Bottom line is that healthy parents create healthy children. Plan ahead what the punishment will be before striking out on the child and make sure the kids know the consequences of their actions. Whippings don’t always achieve the desired results because kids will just take the whipping rather than having to think about and talk about their actions that led to the whipping. People have written who books on this subject and if I don’t stop now I will have a dissertation completed. Great post!

I wholeheartedly!!! agree with Mr. Barrow. My son is a lil, light in the A$$, he’s only 5yrs old there is no gain in a man of my size raising my hand to spank him, besides that i cant stand to see him hurt…But let me take the video games out of his life, i don’t think there is anymore pain i can give him that gets my point across, better than any whuppin. My point is you know your kids, you know the precious material things they adore, remove them and you will get the desired results, minus the guilt of hurting your offspring.

Peace and blessings family this is a good topic, thank you for starting it Jerry
I too believe in “spare the rod and spoil the child” being raised in the church, that was the thing to do. And we were raised to have respect for our elders. Somewhere the ball did get dropped. It happened when we stopped following the ways of our ancestors and picked up the ways of the non-believers. That is when we started to disrespect our children strip the humanity right off them and give them the name of the baby goat for whatever reason. Then we removed ourselves from the village raising the children mode to, you better not do anything to my child! Come tell me and I will deal with them. When told about an offence, many chose to believe the child when they lie to stay out of trouble. And began abusing the adult that reported the bad behavior, that’s when people started to “mind their own business” now it seems that the children have more rights than their parents. I am a single parent of 4 grown children with 4 grand children. And I spanked my two older children not so much with my younger two the older two are more respectful than the younger two. And my grand’s do get spanked. We start young so they recognize the signs when they going in the wrong direction and get right cause the next thing they getting woops and spanks. I cut a switch made of cable wire 17’ long and they get three or less hits, most times all I have to do is show the switch and they get it together. When I am really angry they got to go sit till I calm down to discipline. Bottom line we must remember our past to help fix our future. Love and Respect to All

I got my but kicked when I was growing up but it was quick then came the talks and punishment. Being whipped reminded me of the consiquences of my actions, but the talks and punishments kept me from wanting to get in trouble.

My son is 5 years old and I’ve realized that we have to praise our children as much as we discipline them. I rarely have to lay a hand or belt on my son due to the fact that he remembers the few times I’ve had to use physical discipline. Lately I’ve been talking his ear off and making him earn TV time and Game time. I believe gaining that understanding at a young age will help with keeping them straight at an older age.

I’m not perfect but I do raise my boy as a single father, full time employee and I still have fun. But if it were not for some of those butt kicking when I was younger I may be like some of the peers that had their a$$ kicked by the police.

Make sure you talk to your kids so they understand what and why you do what you do to discipline them. DO NOT FORGET to reward them with your praise! Candy, toys and other things come second you your approval of them.

I have 3 teenagers-the oldest being 18yrs. old now, and when they were younger a “whoopin” wuz the last resort of punishment for them. I love my children deeply, that’s why I have never given a second thought to the way that I have disciplined them. I live in a state where they still are using corporal punishment as a form of discipline (with the parents consent), and it it’s from school age to high school. Now, I don’t believe in beating a child, and I have never given my children a whoopin’ when I wuz very angry, but I am very “old school” when it comes to this issue, and good old fashioned discipline is good for a child, because if we spare the rod, it is very likely that our local law enforcement will be dealing with them in the future!!!!

Well I am a product of corporal punishment. I am currently well educated and did little that would make my parents angry’; in fact, that would make anyone angry. My siblings were also hit or “spanked” and we did all the right things. We all turned out “good” We to feared our mother. Scared she might hit us if I did not follow her rules. Well, let me say this. Those beating molded me into a person, who allowed a man to abuse her for 16 years. Yes, 16 long years. Why because I was afraid, I was groomed to think that assaulting someone is good, why because “It’s discipline”. You do as I say or there will consequences.
What do we teach our children by hitting them? While this is my thought, it is also share by many others. I believe we teach them aggression. We teach them that it’s ok to use of force and that force is the only way to get someone to listen. We teach them that communicating is ineffective. Think about? As adults we resolve issue by communicating what makes us unhappy. If you’re at work, you don’t hit your colleague when they have made you angry. But a defenseless child, you hit because they have made you angry. I am sure many of us have wanted to hit, but we use more effective ways to communicate. If we went around hitting people because they did something wrong, then we as adults are labeled “aggressive” and “angry.” Yes, you may say well children don’t understand when you talk to them. If this is your thinking, it sad that you give your child so little credit. Instead of nurturing their young minds, you poison it with violence. It’s not always TV that introduces violence into our young children’s mind, it has been parents. Children are born with blank slates. They have no idea what is right or wrong. They are learning. They learn from what they are observing and exposed to. Children are visual. So if the only way you get through to a 2, 3, and 4, 6 year old is to “spank” then that is not the child. I am always bothered by how adults view children. Sometimes you act as though children have gone through all the life experiences you’ve gone through. But they haven’t! They just got to this world. Allow them their own autonomy. There not someone’s beating bag. No let me use the correct term “spanking bag” Why Hit them, I just don’t understand. Why? Because you have problems getting this child to hear you. Then who problem is that?
I have an 18 years old son, and I have never hit him and he has never had one fight. He graduated from High school and currently attends college. He was not always a prize child, but we talked. I have taken away privileges, not allowed him to take vacations, restricted phone use and other means of showing him how action warranted consequences. Most importantly I have been consistent. He has always been clear about what the rules were and what happens.
Sometimes you have take the time out to talk, explain to your children what we expect from them. Sometimes a 5 minute timeout requires you sitting right there and enforcing it. They don’t have a clue, because our life experiences are not theirs. While as adults we think children are “not obeying”, sometimes we should allow them to develop into the unique individuals they deserve to become. Let them show you how unique they really are. Don’t make them have to hide their gifts by employing fear. That fear often stops them from taking chances. Yes you may look at what it does to keep them from getting involved in things that are not healthy, but if you don’t introduce unhealthy behaviors to your children, then the odds are they will not engage in them anyway. Fear limits a child and hinders them from working to their full potential. Take the opportunity to look of the word “FEAR”.
Allow them to reverence you as a parent, that’s how we groom great attorneys, judges, social worker, pastors and Presidents. Give them the space to explore. They’re just curious. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in redirecting negative behavior and having the punishment fit the crime, but I also believe in ones right to autonomy.
Before ending this, I want those who feel “spankings” and “beating” is good to looked back at how our masters use to discipline slaves. Why were we beat? What psychological affect did this have? Is it okay to beat them till they learn? What form of damage does that have on an individual?
Food for thought: We fear God, but he does not have to beat us. How does he get us to understand our mistakes? By allowing us to make them and being there to help us back up.

being a product of the spanking, i don’t spank my child a lot, i feel like there others ways of discipline your child then spanking, but you know it comes a time when you have to do it, but you don’t have to go overboard with it.

Im not the type to preach anybody but the bible says it all, spare the rod, spoil the child, me personally, i got (spankings) all the time when i was younger, i didnt do what i was supposed to and i got a punished, and being an adult now i appreciate every last single one, because i know alot of people who didnt and mostly all of them are out of control, not that i didnt make my share of mistakes in life, but i always had a limit. if your kids act up, beat them, dont abuse them in anyway but show them that there are consequences for doing the wrong thing. so end the end, yes! you should hit your kids when they act up, because if you dont, theres some people will hit them, and then put them on punishment for a long time, if you know what i mean, when stop!, im not playing with you!, didnt i tell you!, when all else isnt working and youve tried your best to be civil and nice, do what you have to do, but please do not abuse your kids in no way shape or form, physically or mentally. VL

I am the mother of a 17 year old boy and 11 year old girl. I have only had to spank my children once. I am not opposed to spankings, I just choose to use it as a last resort. When I was a child, I received spankings. Not many, because I feared my mother! To be honest, going and picking out my own switch in front of my friends was worst than the actual spanking. And I think that’s the problem with some youth today (well…it may be the problem with parents.) They haven’t taught their children…trying to be their “friends”. I’m FRIENDLY with my children. However, I’m still MAMA! I work for a child abuse prevention agency. Many of the employees are against spankings. I explain to them that there is a difference between a spaanking and a beating! When guiding and disciplining my children, I sometimes have to raise my voice but not often. I try to TEACH them on a level where they not only understand but don’t think “oh Lord, here we go again”. I use sense of humor (when appropriate) but they know I mean business. Yet, they know that there is a spanking kept in my back pocket JUST IN CASE. And even with my 17 year old….he walks “the chalk line” too!

I agree with NWRK who said what G-d has to say on the matter. “Spare the ROD spoil the child” please note they used a rod back then and not a belt. I see so many kids today out of control screaming in the stores at their parents etc. My mother took a no no nonsense policy to me and my siblings being disrespectful and acting up and it taught me to fear consequence and a certain level of respect for adults. I do whip my sons if they get out of line but i have also learned to hug them and tell them that i love them afterwards so that they still associate my discipline with my love for them. Children as a whole scare me these days as i wonder what the world will be like when this lawless and disciplinless generation matures and begins to run the country. I also think that part of the problem is we have to many baby daddys out there not manning up and being a father. Biblically all children gain their identities through the fathers this is why whenever you read geneology it always says the son or daughter of the father in the bible. Us men need a wake up call and we need to act on it. I feared my mom spanking me but it was dad who brought down the house. I can remember getting whippings in school then they would call my mom she would say “I’m going to beat your butt and then im gone tell your daddy and he’s gonna get you”. I also agree we have young blacks filling the jails in this country because people are not whipping their kids.

i grew up with spankings. i came out pretty alright… excpet i respected the parent who spanked me more than the parent who didn’t. i’ve just developed a respect for my mother as opposed to having long term respect for my father. i feel that spankings are acceptable… but people have to realize that there’s a difference between beatings and spankings. i was never hit with extention cordes or other inaniment objects in the house. maybe a belt or a switch… but primarily the hand on my rear end. people just have to learn the difference btw abuse and discipline

well,i was raised in the south. down here everyone gets a whooping its not wrong only when you trying to beat the child to death. i have kids and they get spankings. you got to do it.

I physically discipline my children, but not to the extent that whoopings are all they know. I only do it to prove a point, and that point is is that if they do something wrong then they will face consequences. But there are other methods of punishment that I use in addition to spankings. My kids, like any others can be quite bad at times, but other than that they are very well behaved. So yes, I spank my kids, but it’s not the ONLY way that I punish them. Half the time all I have to do is say I’m getting the belt and they straighten up and fly right. So my thing is, it’s ok to spank, just dont let it be the only way your kids understand the consequences of wrongdoing, and also don’t overdo it. I’m so tired of seeing news about parents, ESPECIALLY black parents, killing their kids over something simple or pointless. It just makes us all look bad, and to be honest, I could give a damn less what ppl think about me, but at the same time…come on, yall know where I’m going with this…

“I also agree we have young blacks filling the jails in this country because people are not whipping their kids.” WHERE I COME FROM, THE STATE WORKS ON WAYS TO KEEP MEN AWAY FROM THEIR KIDS THEN SAY WE WALKED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WANT THE KIDS TO BE WILD AND OUT OF CONTROL. PUT THE FATER IN JAIL FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND PUT THE CHILD IN CHILDRENS JAIL FOR BEING WILD, STATE GETS PAID, THATS CALLED 2 FOR 1.

I am a single father of two 13 year olds, and he is right in the technology age there are more ways to punish then whipping. I was beatn grown up with what ever was possible,and its clear to me under todays laws i was really being abused. All the way up to 10th grade i can remember going to school with wheps on my body that took far long to heal then the results of my actions.I grew up in St. Louis and drugs and violence was a huge part of my daily world. My mom was a single mother from the south and didnt have a clue what my reality really was.I wasnt the type of child that was out of hand, most of my whippings (beatings) were becouse of me talking in school and horseplaying with my siblings,which i realize now that i have kids most of my acting out was becouse of the failing school system and i was bored. Clearly no reason to be beat or punished.But a chance for me to be put in a more challenging atmosphere. DO SPANKINGS WORK? First of all you have to know your kids and make up your own mind but beating are not a option! In a way i feel like it dont work becouse it did not guarentee me a successful life and when your abrused by the #1 people in your life it kind of make you open to being abrused by others, and lowers your feeling of self worth.I sold drugs had two kids at 17 did many destructive things to my life,some i overcame very few still lingering but i feel im still paying for not seizing the precious moments of youth when i should of been securing me a better future. On the other hand i cant completly count spankings out becouse it was still many other more destructive paths i could have taken, like i said i grew up without a dad and i got to belive the fear i had for my mom keep me out of it,not to metion i am a Father today when i didnt even have one there for me. So i guess i grew strength from it to take on anything. For the record my mom apoligized for it since i been a adult bascily letting me know that it not only haunts me but her too. In the end every parent wants the best for their child, and that level of fear and love should be there how you go about it is the question. Be very strategic also becouse THE CORRECTIONAL FACILITYS AND THE LOOSERS OF THE WORLD WILL BE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR KIDS.

There is a DIFFERENCE between DISCIPLINE (see: DESCIPLE), and PUNISHMENT!!! DISCIPLINE is where the parent TEACHES the child between right and wrong, through their OWN behavior/actions. PUNISHMENT

There is a DIFFERENCE between DISCIPLINE (see: DESCIPLE), and PUNISHMENT!!! DISCIPLINE is where the parent TEACHES the child between right and wrong, through their OWN behavior/actions. PUNISHMENT is the consequence of not abiding by rules and expectations set by the parent. Many times, parents just slap/beat/spank their child for behavior that was never explained as unacceptable, believing the child should have “common sense”…We need to assess WHERE our child’s mental and emotional develpment is BEFORE we set expectations. I am a FIRM believer in spankings. I DO NOT CONDONE HITTING A CHILD WITH YOUR HAND…most children will just use the same technique in school to get their own point across. On my 2 year old son, if he disobeys me, I use a switch on his hands and the bottom of his feet. The skin is thicker, less prone to scars….and he gets the point.

I am a recently divorced father of a soon to be 8yr old boy. I will admit to spanking him since the age of 1. I was raised by a father that spanked my older sister and myself for things that we really did wrong in order to teach us right from wrong along with taking certain items and privileges. My father just like myself was in the Army for the long haul and also tended to use some of those tactics as well. In my case I no longer live with my son and his mother so the idea of me going to where he is located to spank him now tends to fix the problem. When I am with him I will talk first and use spanking as a last resort. So in closing I will continue to use spanking as a means of discipline along with other avenues. But I will never do it out of sheer anger.

People should first understand the difference between abuse and discipline. The law states in some states that hitting with an open hand and not leaving any marks is not abuse. If you hit your child with a belt stick ,switch or anything other than a open hand is considered abuse and the object is considered a weapon. Me i try to use the steps to punishment first I let my child know that the behavior is not exceptable, then there is taking away privileges then there’s when all else a good swift hit. I work in the field and you would be suprise how many people get caught up with the law. My child once tried to threaten me by saying mom if you hit me them they will take me away from you, i replied with yes and they will also be taking you from me and our home. He thought about not having his own stuff and not being able to come into mom’s room for our talks and our down time he took a step back and thought about when he was not at home. He was seven years old then . Now that he’s a teen the rules still apply. If we mentally challenge our children and give them food for thought they wiil be ok. Don’t get me wrong he still try me but not to the extreme that i have seen some kids do. His Grandpa tell him there’s nothing wrong with popping you in the back of the head to help you see the light.

There is a diffrents between hitting a child and spanking a child!Its call how upset you r yes you need to come down before you spank your child.No child desevers to be bet to death.Sometimes it just takes talking to your children. I do yelling at your childern an be a little to much. GOD HELPS ME DISIPLNE MY CHILDREN I HAVE CAME TO FAR TO TAKE THE CHANCE FOR THE SYSTEM TO COME AN TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME NO ONE WILL LOVE THEM AND TAKE CARE OFTHE4M LIKE I DO THEY R BLOOD OF MY BLOOD AND FLESH OF MY FLESH.

“If your six-year-old doesn’t have a healthy fear of you by now, you’ve dropped the ball”.

Jerry Barrow, that statement right there sums it all up.
Fear is the best “invisible” belt. The statement “my parents would kill me” is values and fear instilled in that child. They don’t believe their parents would actual murder them, but know that behavior would disappoint them.
As a teacher, I absolutely believe in discipline. My classroom management consist of “the look”, body language, and a firm voice!
Parents need to say what they mean and mean what they say! “Now” should be defined as within this second, not when the child feels like it. Make consequences immediate. Children hate isolation. Time outs, loss of privileges and luxuries, not going somewhere are excellent examples of isolation. Spanking should for be reserved for “audacity” moments and not for “just in case”. Instill fear in your children at an early age and they discipline themselves. Children will love you forever and like you sometimes. Stop trying to be their friend and be the parent.

Wonderful topic!

-Peace,
Serenity Blessings

I spanked my two daughters 2 years ago for being GROWN they lied to me and their mother and went away with some GROWN ASS SOLDIERS IN Columbus,Ga ok I am a father and I wanted to discipline them well I went to JAIL.
Under the FAMILY VIOLENCE LAW the non-custodial parent can’t discipline their children and their mother didn’t press charges they did and I am a Counselor, I lost my job the state suspended me from practicing that was 2 years ago.

Now Georgia along with Boston and a few other states will make it a Class C Felony to whip your kids.

I put them in Gods hand and pray for them daily I am not going to loose what I have worked for so long and hard for kids that think they now it all. At 18 they going to get a rude awakening

Itz a BIG difference from BeaTING and disciplining ur child. I think the media takes that word too far and out of context! I dont have any kids but i do have nieces and nephews and every once in awhile a kid needs a good ass whoopin. Its not wrong at all. Its only the proper way. You can only explain to a child so many times to behave and get down to their level and calm them down but after awhile that good ol’ fashion butt whoopin’ will do the trick and set them straight. Its like tellin a child dont come in the kitchen cuz momma cookin…the stove is hot …u can only tell them so many times til there r no more words left and and they come in and touch that oven and their hand gets a lil red from the oven. Bet they wont touch that oven no more when they r told not 2!…~*Peace N. Love BP*~

It’s ok to discipline not beat there’s a big difference. that’s why there’s so much violence now because these kids arent being disciplined at all when i was coming up we got a healthly dose of discipline which made us a better person and taught us a lot of things from values to responsibility i cant tell you how many imes i’ve seen a child disrespect there parent/parents from talking back to even hitting them what u suppose to do let them walk all over you?..and for the brother who lost everything behind doin what’s right i sympathize with u if i’m not mistaken it says something in the bible about discipling your chiled something about the rod im not sure what it actually says verbatim but i know it codones discipline with in reason.

Beating our children should be a last resort for disciplining your children. disciplining your children starts with the fahter leading a “disciplined” life in front of them; like a drill sergeant trains cadets during a training cycle in basic training. A father has to live a life that their child can form their life after. we have to stop talking about it and be about it. A person who says one thing and does another is a “hyprocrite.” We teach our children to tell the truth, so what if our children told us the truth about ourselves?
Society has made fathers equivalent to a “sperm donor” and not an active participant in the family. there are fathers that are activer and want to be active, but are stopped by the mother, the state, or the law. For those who that applies to, let that apply, but stop punishing the ones that do want to be active. Dads are usually the “big bad wolf” of discipline, but are refused access when they just want to be a father.
Fathers should live a life of discipline. BOTTOM LINE….Discipline is a full time job…Fathers, its time to clock in for work…not just for yourself, but for your children’s future, and their children’s future, and society; as a whole.

When I was a kid my mom would make me sit on the kitchen steps for an hour or a half hour as punishment because spankings did no good I could take the beating, but sitting on the steps drove me nuts. My brother on the other hand would gets beat because it worked better, sitting on the steps or getting sent to his room never bothered him. I believe it depends on the child, some kids can take a beating and others cannot

This message is in response to Most-hated-1, the verse in the bible is about the saying “spare the rod, spoil the child” is found in Proverbs 13:24. To the response of the question, No you shouldn’t “beat” your kids, if it’s too the point of bruising then damn that’s gone too far. but there is nothing wrong with a good warm up when kids are gettin outta hand and when time outs, and being sent to the room stopped working.

I posted on this recently, when you first put this out. To recap and just summarize. Spanking is just about my court of last resort before going to the professioonals. I believe it’s effective within certain age ranges, above toddlers and below the age of 8 or 9. Before that, it’s inappropriate (in my estimation only). After that age, I always felt I should be able to start reasoning with my child at a basic level and moving on from there as he/she matured. I never hit with anything but my hand, never hit in anger (took my own timeouts first), never more than three (3) swats on the butt, always in private–never humiliate my child in public, never left more than a red butt-NO bruises or handprints–that’s too hard and constitutes abuse. Lastly, if it doesn’t work, seek help, it doesn’t pay to keep trying the same ol’ thing, just to get the same result. I learned the hard way from my father (6’5″, 250 Lbs, massive, powerful, and intimidating, he could knock out 1000 pushups w/o breathing hard)). He beat my brother and I every which wayn but loose, constantly, without anything else considered. We went straight to our little “hell” when we messed up. He used every inch of his height, size, and voice (he would yell at the top of his lungs at us), to terrify us and he succeeded. My brother and I left for cogges w/in 2 years of one another and I joined the Army, only coming to visit after marriage, 2 kids and 8 years had passed. My brother headed to FL and the CA, only coming home after ten years. I made it a point to decide never treat my children that way, yet it happened. I caught myself, before it went very far, but it’s insidious my brother and sisters. We do tend to fall back into familiar patterns of behavior w/o realizing it sometimes. Fortunately, my oldest and I were able to resolve matters before much damage was done, but I have tread lightly ever since, second guessed myself many times, deciding I’d rather err on the side of reason than physicality at times.
My father was my HS math teacher, basketball coach, principal, and superintendant during my school years. At school he was the best teacher I had and he made learning so much fun and the subject concepts so easy to understand. He was a great coach who could get the most out of each of us and taught us all that sports were analagous to life (like algebra!!). As a principal I watched how he managed the teachers and handled their professional development; how he ghae student leaders additioal responsibilities, as they developed their skills. Most of my teaching and leadership skills came from him. But those lessons ended the minute we got home. He could do a Doctor Hyde, Mr Jeckyll number on us in a heartbeat.
I never understood and harbored great bitterness towards him for many years, well into death, even as I could accept the knowledge he passed on to me in many areas, that has served me well during my life ( I have a MA in Math, MS in AstroPhysics, a PhD in Strategic Intelligence, and retired as a Colonel of Intelligence from the Army, after commanding 5 platoons, 3 companies, 2 battalions, and a brigade). I discovered after he died that I was severely bi-polar and suspect he probably was as well. It may account for much of his behavior. I was mostly manic (undiagnosed, so it was lefyt as hyperactive–good trait in the Army) with rare depressions. Medication has had me stable w/o symtoms for 15 years. I wonder what might have been if he’d gotten a diagnosis and treatment, would things have been better, or would something else cropped up.
So, if you spank, set up the rules you will live by, the guidelines which you will let govern you, and be reasonable, use common sense, and be consistent. Lastly, always make sure you let the kid know you love him/her, that it’s the behavior that’s objectionable. And when in doubt–don’t.

beat that ass

H*ll yeah you should beat your kids, SH*T look how I turned out?

Dont ABUSE YOUR KIDS…….just physically DISCIPLINE them…

I don’t believe in beating my children just disciplining them. I don’t spank them when I am mad. I feel like if I don’t do it a cop will be doing it with a billy club. So, I choose to be the one for my child.

I agree with flyfisher20750, the first time I gave myself a time out my son went to his teacher. He could not believe that a grown-up had to take a time out. He thought time out was for kids only. When I explained to him that I take time out is because at that moment I am angry at his behavior, and I need time to myself to cool down and think about his punishment. i go in my room and close the door he know not to disturb me for at least 15 mins. When he told his teacher about my time out she asked me to come to the school for a conference. I explained to her why I take time out she was surprised she had never heard of a parent using that technique and asked if I mind she suggest it to other parents. I ws beat as a child and still have the scars to show it. I know how it felt to be hit with a belt, extention cord switch or whatever they got their hands on. i did not want my son to fell that pain.

I BELIEVE THAT IT IS OK TO WHOOP YOUR CHILDREN. NOT BEAT THEM. ALSO NOT TO WHOOP THEM EVERYTIME THEY DO SUMTHIN WRONG. TIMEOUTS ARE OK ALSO. BUT I BELIEVE BOTH WOULD BE A GREAT DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

No, beating cause fear and resentment.It harden them. teaching them respect,and holding them accountable for their action work. It’s how you start off and as a toddler a little tap on the hand will do when he/she want to try you. you’re letting them know the behavior is not acceptable, the tone of voice, and being consisted is all it should take.In order for this method to work you must show them plenty of love.

I’m sorry some of us have to ask what level of dissaplent is right to use..Growing up with two sisters my parents loved us and when they told us something we knew that if we didn’t do it trouble we will find ourselves in..It could be what white america call a time out…lol….or capital punishment depending on what the incident call for..But for us what worked was that hard stair we would get and knowing you didn’t want to be punished at all.So that what keep us on the narrow path that love we got and the hint of fear we had of dissapionting them.So if you need to handle your child do it at home and after you calm down and I know not all of us can artticulate ourselves. But explaine to the child why your taking these measure with them cause their behaviour was dissapointing and will not be tollerated anymore and then do the deed with in means…But remind that child what happens at home remains at home….I see children abused and I see children that come from homes that never put their hands on them and get your time out and nithing punishment…lol and go out and commit horrible crimes..So if you love your child do what you have to do to keep them on the right path cause their is someone out there who would mind putting the beat down on them cause you are to soft to correct something you saw or see now that could lead that child to stray the wrong way.

For me a look is enough to let my kids know that I mean business. Some times this fear lets him/her know that you are not joking and that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior, they will get the message. Wish you luck because all of my kids are now grown now and I now have grand children syndrome.

As for me, I don’t subscribe to the thought of “well, I was beat so they can be beat as well. I turned out ok.” I believe every child can be reasoned with and talked to. My wife and I have done this from the very beginning of our children lives. As for myself, I’ve never had to punish them with physical violence (which is what spanking, whooping, beating or any other label you place on it….its physical violence). If they get out of line, there are MANY-MANY-MANY different ways to handle it. The MAIN thing is that as a parent, I have to remain calm at all time….and as an adult, I have to know what and what isn’t serious and to adjust my behavior accordingly. Not everything is a “Beat-able” offence. If you think so, then you’re not using your mind and perhaps that person should take some parenting lessons….or better yet, Psychology classes. Not for only to understand the child but to understand yourself.

From the day my daughter came out of her mothers’ womb, I have not laid a finger on her. She is well behaved and well mannered girl of 9 years old. The most I do is raise my voice and she listens. I could not bear the the thought of physically disciplining my child. It’s all about making sure you teach your child what is right from wrong from the time they enter this world.

No, I don’t think we should beat our kids, but a spanking from time to to is sometimes needed. Kids will always push you to the limit and sometmes, you have to let them know who is in charge. Timeouts don’t always work. One or two paddles on the behind will always get their attention. Beatings are abuse, spankings in my opinion are disciplinary.

It is very rare, and I mean rare that I hit my children. Even as a deployed father and being away from home, all I have to do is talk to them and they listen. My son is the one that tries to get away with it since I am not home, but when I talk with him, he starts to cry. I always instill into my kids that they are the greatest, so they have it where they try their hardest to do the right thing, but when they make a mistake we all sit and talk on how to do it better next time, and that is a significant change in their attitude and behavior. So their is more than one way of chestising your kids.

I do not believe in beating kids to a pulp however, children will always test the boundaries and that is the time that you need to let them know never to even think about approaching that boundary again in life and I dont think anything works as good or as fast as a nice firm smack.(or a couple of smacks if needed)

i believe in a firm hand rules the nest! beating out of pure being mean NO! and when i do have to lay hands i will afterwards remind them of why and what you(child) can do to prevent this again. but a stiff punishment works at all times i mean stiff stick to it! don’t let puppy dog eyes and promises get the best of you

I do believe in spankings but not beatings. My father used to get the belt for the least little thing. Now, I’m a grown man with a beautiful (and challenging) little 4 year old little girl. In these 4 wonderful years of fatherhood, I’ve never had to raise a hand to my daughter to get her to do whats right. I agree, spanking is necessary, beatings are just what it sounds like…….abuse.

I NEVER BEAT MY KIDS BUT I DID SPANK THEM UNTILL THEY WENT TO SLEEP FROM CRYING AND THEY NEVER DID IT AGAIN AND THEY GOT PUNISHMENT TO….

According to the comments you all have posted, I had them ALL mixed up.

I got my tail tore up as a child and sometimes, for no reason. I applied that to the peace I wanted from abuse when I started having babies (2 boys) and we understand our places but to this day (they are 8 and 1) we have a friendship and clearly understand that a beating, whipping, spanking, etcetera; taking favorite items for a period of time, disposing of some pieces of favorite items; all have the tendency to make the child(ren) feel beat, unhappy, and defeated. They also should already know that Mamas don’t play!

Right; whether there is repetitious disobedience, along with the size, age, and mentality of a child, should determine the consequence.

I am not being biased or stereotyping, but if you clearly get out of hand while disciplining a CHILD, (1) you need YOUR a$$ tapped (and not lightly) and (2) it’s not your child that has the problem, it’s you.