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How To Go From Hook-Up To Long Term

Written by Hello Beautiful on May 28, 2010 11:00 am

Couple-parkFROM SHINE.COM:

Casual dating- it’s fun, exciting, and a great way to get back in the saddle. But what if the saddle turns into the sack? Getting physical with someone isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Two consenting adults may really enjoy each other’s company. But what if you thought you just wanted a fling, only to discover that you’re really falling for the guy?

1. Spend time doing other things together. Make plans for the two of you to do something such as take a walk, visit a museum, etc. In other words, begin dating. Through sharing conversation and laughs, you can build intimacy.

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2. Keep your distance. Try not to be as available as you were before, and create some mystery. This actually draws people in, and makes you more desirable.

READ MORE HERE

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/hera12/ hera12

    This is advice coming from a non-expert in dating and relationships. Are you kidding me??

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/odoggz/ odoggz

    You can’t go from a hook up to long term. The priorities of each mindset are different. You don’t want responsibility in hook-ups, you dive in with your poon or pen1s first, which is why you just bone, while a long term thing is all about being responsible and thinking/planning the future. Hook-up is for right now, no consideration of future, at this time, and if you pressure a hook-up, they’re gone. If you’re only a hook-up, most likely they don’t consider you worth long term, so why try to convert someone to what they obviously never wanted to be with you, in the first place? All the couples tips and all that crap is reserved for your GIRL, not for a friend with benefit or hook-up!
    Most people are 1 or the other, and pick their own poisons. It’s why we say, you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife and don’t expect a playa/bad boy to be a loyal, dedicated, stand-up husband/father combo either. They’re only good for hook-ups, and if you’ve only ever done hook-ups and can’t last more than 3 years with a person in a serious relationship (or haven’t), you’re only hook-up material.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SoularFlarez/ SoularFlarez

    she gotta be my homie, my ace, etc….we gotta vibe on OTHER levels too

    just haven sex WILL NOT keep me interested, i need moor than that

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CaliFemme23/ CaliFemme23

    The key to not being JUST a hook up is to NOT allow yourself to be a hook up in the first damn place…If thats what he/she is looking for and you want more, then keep it pushin til you find that.

    I’m 100% in agreement with SoularFlarez…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    When it comes to communication, love, freakiness(waking up naked and no makeup on), shared interests, you should let it grow, let it flow, or else let it go!

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    [...] From Hello Beautiful: Casual dating- it’s fun, exciting, and a great way to get back in the saddle. But what if the saddle turns into the sack? Getting physical with someone isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Two consenting adults may really enjoy each other’s company. But what if you thought you just wanted a fling, only to discover that you’re really falling for the guy? [...]

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    You cant turn a pickle into a cuc**ber.

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/concreterosr/ concreterosr

    I think if you walk into a situation being a hook up then you’re basically setting yourself up for failure. Back in my “goon days”, I made the call on what a guy would be for me.Regardless, hook up or long-term there were no one-nighters but for instance, if he was extra nice to look at but didn’t have any conversation or didn’t know about current events(both a turn off),then he would just be a hookup. If I saw a guy had potential to be boyfriend material,he definitely got the effort out of me. From being like that then, as I became older , my mindset wouldn’t allow me to handle things any differently. I’ve ALWAYS refused to be just “an option” because essentially, that’s what you are when you just hook-up with someone but know you want more. I’ve never dealt with anyone with a woman or a wife either. My Father,brothers,uncles,male cousins and friends taught me well. If I can’t be #1 then I just CAN’T BE!!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/duncan69/ duncan69

    keep some distance if you want to get closer,sounds like dating advice coming from pee wee herman.what dumb azz really thinks in terms of creating mystery when ur trying get to know the person(THAT MYSTERY SHYT WILL GET UR AZZ AT HOME AND ALONE)so buy a blow up doll and some k-y jelly and go to town.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/baby_living/ baby_living

    this does not make any sense..I think if something is meant to be then it will…maybe you made the mistake of sleeping on the first date..maybe you slept together on the first date and it was magical. Maybe you waited 3 dates and slept together and it sucked…the point is,chemistry and connection makes the relationship stand..not whether or not you hooked up before you were ready. I can attest to this and many others too, it doesn’t matter if your connection was strong on date one or three..a connection is a connection. Now if your just meeting people to hook up with them and then realize you REALLY like them after all the super sexy signals then you have to deal with that on your own terms.

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