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black man and blue tooth

(From shine.com)

When it comes to dating, we all know how hard it is to know who the bad seeds are (especially if your type is the bad seed), and especially if when we meet them it’s in a haze of bar smoke and tequila. It’s easy to think everyone is nice and worth your time, or think that everyone sucks and you’re better off becoming a nun and devoting your life to Jesus. No need to purchase a rosary yet, sister, because here’s a list of the easy-to-pick-out dudes who you should avoid like a pair of camouflage Crocs.

The Guy Who Lives With His Mother

This one is easy to justify in your head – “Well…he needs to take care of his family,” or “It’s super temporary and it’s only because he’s trying to save money.” No. The second he says you can’t chill at his place because it’s his mom’s night to watch Desperate Housewives, say “peace.” Avoid if you can. There’s nothing like always having the guy in your apartment, or having to endure the walk of shame past his parents in their bathrobes. It also implies a few insecurities about growing up and being self-sufficient, something that is imperative to a relationship. Moving along…

The Guy Who Wears a Bluetooth…All The Time

Even if he works for Verizon, there’s no excuse why he can’t talk on the phone like a normal human being. Plus…if he’s constantly plugged into something (something that makes him look like Madonna circa 1985, or a McDonald’s drive-thru worker), that means he will never completely be paying attention you…you’re just filler until his next important call comes through. That is…if he ever actually gets important calls, and it’s not just a cover. A Bluetooth is like the man version of the scrunchie.

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The Guy Who Knows His Marc Jacobs Better Than You

There is nothing wrong with a well-dressed man, in fact, we appreciate them in all forms. However…be careful when you meet a man who mentions how current your Miu Miu heels are, or that your bag would be better paired with some Chloe boots he saw last week. Mr. I Know My Prada could either be gay, or higher maintenance than you. It’s one thing if he’s Jay-Z and will take you shopping, another if he’s going to be judging the Snuggie you keep in your apartment. If you suspect he may like boys…send him over to Bluetooth guy.

The Club Promoter

It might be nice to be able to jump the line at Marquee or have free bottle service at 1Oak (we’ve all done it), but never date a club promoter. It’s nice to have one in your back pocket to impress your high school friends when they come to town, but they’re notoriously slutty and are more trouble than you’re ready for. Not only will they ditch you the minute the next hot chick wants to talk to them, but if things go south you can never go back to…kind of any club again.

The Late Bloomer

These are the men that could not buy a date in high school so now they feel that they “have arrived.” He thinks that he is the hot commodity in any relationship; therefore he will be the last to commit. He says things, “let’s not put labels on it,” which is just code. Translation, he is choosing to review all of his options because of all of the feels of inadequacy.

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/kbneville/ kbneville

    The whole bluetooth thing is just stupid to me. There are women that do the same thing…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/masculine31/ masculine31

    lmfao@blue tooth…I can’t do it still!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/missstrings43/ missstrings43

    I totally..completely..absolutely …laughed my a** off on the blue tooth one…I dated this Candy cane man who always..and on a daily basis reminded me that he was a kappa by doing that stupid a** dance he did at least 4 times a day..he wore a blue tooth and I SWEAR it got on my last damned nerve!
    This guy was the (so he said) VP at Well’s Fargo Finace Dept and I really think he wanted to be more than he was. His name was La Ron Moore just in case any of you brothers of Kappa know this d**khead. Tell him he lost a great woman talking n that blue tooth more than he talked to his sexy kitten.
    Whoever wrote this article has really great insight about that one.

    I was definitely just his filler until his next call came through. What an A**!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/DiscoGemini/ DiscoGemini

    whats the difference between a guy having a bluetooth in his ear and women always having a cell phone attached to the side of their face? as long as the dude is not constantly talking on his bluetooth, that should not be a problem.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/DiscoGemini/ DiscoGemini

    women need to avoid broke, lazy, uneducated, unmotivated, childish, disrespectful and abusive men. nuff said.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/trisha_369/ trisha_369

    I don’t agree with this not at all…even thou it was funny. And thats not how all women pick up or out men. AND PLEASE STOP F*CKIN USING JAY-Z AS EVERY MAN A WOMAN NEED…SH*T ITS ALOT MORE OF REAL GOOD MEN YOU COULD HAVE USED. As for the man living at home,with his Momma-its a BIG DIFFERENTS IN JUST LIVING THERE AND TAKING CARE OF HIS PARENTS. I give the UP MOST RESPECT TO A MAN WHO LIVE AT HOME AND REALLY TAKE CARE OF HIS PARENTS. Now its the ONES WHO LIVE THERE AND DON’T DO S**T BUT-RUN UP THE BILLS,HAVE THERE FRIENDS OVER-HELPING THEM DO THE SH*T…YOU KNOW THE ONES IM TALKING ABOUT,PLAYING THE PS3,Wii,XBOX,ETC-EATING UP SH*T LATE AT NIGHT,RUN’ING IN AND OUT-ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT,DRINKING-HIGH AS HELL,HAVING SEX-FIGHTING,WITH HIS BABY MOMMA OR GIRLFRIEND OR MAYBE WIFE,OR DRAMA PERIOD. I SAY ITS WHAT YOU PUT IN A MAN(WOMAN)-OR SOMETIME A RELATIONSHIP YOU GET OUT OF IT…YOU GOT TO BE 50/50 FOR ANYTHING TO WORK.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/IWalkAlone247/ IWalkAlone247

    You know…I love how these dickheads who write this bulls**t always try to poison the minds of chicks and try to build them up to be more than what THEY are while trying to tear GUYS down so that we ALWAYS have to seem like we’re beneathe some broad…

    ********************************************************************************************************************

    #1. At this point, ANY of you dumb f**ks who try and slip this guy living with his mother bulls**t past anybody are really ignorant as all s**t…how the hell are you gonna sit there and try to down guys who live with their mothers, while there are WAAAAAY MORE CHICKS WHO LIVE WITH BOTH THEIR PARENTS!!!…And worse, tell you at the door to say hello to everybody in the house, which puts the GUY in a very uncomfortable position. Living with your mother has absolutely NOTHING to do with how he approaches relationships, or the way he treats a chick. Get off your ignorant bulls**t and stop yapping about what some dude did to YOU.

    **************

    #2. I’m not even gonna READ what your dumb ass wrote about the blue tooth dude…because everybody on here already agreed that chicks do the same f**king thing….so lets be serious…just because YOU caught the jack because of a dude with a device in his ear, it’s no reason to ruin everything for chicks who really are trying to be with somebody…

    **************

    #3. Okay, you know…after reading this one, i should stop right here…because it’s bad enough that there’s a high number of single black chicks out there already….but damn, can you make any less obvious WHY so many of them are single? So, let me get this straight….the ONLY guy who is allowed to know ANYTHING about fashion for chicks and wouldn’t be called gay is Jay Z? Hmmm…okay….you know, it’s starting to become more and more clear that you’re not only ignorant, but you’re also a S**T who couldn’t get a man even if the dude was trying to play a trick on you. I’m not even gonna try to justify a guy knowing about fashion because quite frankly, what’s the point? You pretty much told on yourself as to what type of THING you are with this one…

    **************

    #4. Oh this one is funny….Don’t date a club promoter because they’re kind of s**tty….but it’s okay to BE a s**t to keep one around though…lol….CASE….CLOSED….

    **************

    #5. Ummm….is it me…or did this clown just describe a typical CHICK who just lost their virginity?

    *******************************************************************************************************************

    In all honesty, ANY dumb ass broad who follows the advice these cornball puts up desrves exactly what the hell they get…seriously. If you feel you have your own mind, your personality is really top notch, you don’t have some bulls**t attitude, you’re really easy to get along with, you have a great sense of humor, HIS income doesn’t matter, you’re not a gold digger, and above all, you’re not some hood skank….then that’s all you need. Keep listening to this bulls**t about what guys not to deal with and don’t be surprised if the next time you get into a relationship your ovaries will be dried up…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/IWalkAlone247/ IWalkAlone247

    @DiscoGemini

    You had me right up until you said BROKE……..a RICH dude can be all of the above….

    I don’t know how many times I have to keep telling people this before they wake up and use common freaking sense….BUT YOUR INCOME DOESN’T MEAN JACK S**T WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!

    A dude working in freaking Mcdonald’s for fifty cents an hour could treat a chick like ROYALTY, whereas a dude who has a damn job on Wall Street making 6-figures a year could be some abusive clown who doesn’t give two s**ts about a chick unless they’re giving up the butt…..

    But it doesn’t matter right? As long as he’s RICH….

    Come the f**k on…..

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/be_my_subject/ be_my_subject

    The late bloomers oh yeah definately a no no.Well the bluetooth one was funny lol but there are guys who have the total package but still have committment issues. are they are too freaky.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sylkiifeather/ sylkiifeather

    preach IWalkAlone247….preach…lol. i agree 100% with what you said. anybody who follows any of the ‘advice” these articles put out there is dumb.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/kennyd4/ kennyd4

    whats strange is jewish,mexican and men from other cultures not only stay home b4 its time to leave the nest(WHATEVER TIME THAT IS)but are expected to be home until the family feels he’s ready to leave,and he could be in his mid 40′s b4 that happens.black folks are the only fools on earth who beleive a boy is man when he starts to grow hair around his testicles.and we as a family unit look for ways to get him outta the house and on his own regardless of weather he’s ready or not.(FUCH I KNOW BROTHERS OUTTA N.Y.,PHILA,CHI-TOWN WHO WERE OUTTA THE HOUSE AT 14/15)and then when he falls on his face we as a people laugh at him and thinks he’s weak,all this was pointed out to me by a white female psychologist working on her masters.as she put it you would think that considering what the black man has to go through in this country the last place we’ed want to send him is into the hellhole called amerikkka b4 his time.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/sylkiifeather/ sylkiifeather

    also depends on his age. but at the same time…people go through things…so maybe he has to stay home for personal reasons…not necessarily because he is lazy.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/IAMTEXAS/ IAMTEXAS

    QUESTION: if ur tellin all women to avoid these men then that technically leaves those guys stuck out right???????????????????????

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Sen666/ Sen666

    It’s funny how people (i.e. the author) hold men to such high standards. Let’s hope we hold OURSELVES to such high standards as well. It’s easy for anyone to put down and judge others, but it’s quite another thing to make excuses for ourselves and claim we are so much “better” than these men. Just a thought…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Phlyght/ Phlyght

    @IWalkAlone247, re: DiscoGemini

    The brotha said “avoid broke,” not “get w/ Richie Rich.” There’s a lot of space between those two ideas. It’s rather obvious that there are exceptions to all of these. I trust that we all are wise enough to not take any of these articles (too?) seriously, much less take any life advice from them or let them raise our blood pressure and catch a case of carpal tunnel. That’s why I don’t blog or tweet (though I occasionally post: case in point). Breathe, man; count to ten…

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