Comments on: Do Kids Need Their Daddy, No Matter What?

By: Floridanigg84

Floridanigg84 — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:14:27 +0000

I have no kids and im 25 years old and dont really want any but i have been a father to a child that isnt mines since he was born and the little boy is 4 years old now and he will probably neva know his real father and im all he knows as far as father goes and i will neva walk out this little boy life because im all he knows and real men know what i mean.

By: ThickScorpianMa

ThickScorpianMa — Fri, 22 May 2009 03:36:08 +0000

I aslo agree. My sone is 6 months hell be 7 on the 10th. The father of my child has only seen his son 1 time. I even went to va so he could see his son and still he didnt come see him because of his girlfriend. Who is having his thired child. Im only 4 hours from him. He has every other weekend off. So why not come see your son. Now he would be mad if i got into another relationship and we were serious and he wanted to take care of me and my children. How would he feel? Someone who is not the father will bend his neck to make sure they have what they need not what they want. I bet 10 to 1 he will try to be there then.

By: Thickums-2005

Thickums-2005 — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:16:00 +0000

Some people fail to realize the affects a bad father. Some men make a difference in their kids lives good and bad. Girls look towards their dads to see how a man is supposed to treat a woman, they look at their dads behavior towards them and they later think its ok for a man to treat their children like that because thats how they were raised. Boys grow up thinking its cool to have different kids all over the place and not participate in their lives and not take responsibility for their offspring. It just goes to show the outlook of our future. There are not enough men stepping to the plate to participate.

By: LENA86

LENA86 — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:47:58 +0000

I agree with yall on some my baby father has only seen his daughter 2 times and shes’s 6 months going on 7 on the 30th of march but I feel he makes no attempt to see her and im not breaking my neck for him to see her but I got him on child support he’s not working and when he was he still has not done anything for my baby so “F**K HIM” im glad he’s not in her life he’s a dead beat and a BIG ASS MOMMA’S BOY.

By: sweTpye1

sweTpye1 — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 06:43:06 +0000

I know a lot of ppl won’t agree with me on this but this is kind of a sensitive subject for me. My personal opinion: My child will be 1 on jan 31. she has a male parent who takes care of her but she has only seen her biological father 4 times in her life. he has only given her $95. Yes this is a problem with me when he is taking care of 3 other kids that arent his. i grew up with my father so i understand how important it is to have a father but at the same time, i will not beg him to take care of whats his. true enough he has bills at his home and im not knocking that. take care of home first then take care of her. but he’s not even following thru on that. i have given him time after time after time. just face it yall, some daddys just aint gone do right. i’ve taken care of her with no problem since day one. so when child services contacts him. all i will say is i tried. ive given him all the chances in the world to be a father, to come see her, to come get her, to spend time with her. i dont even have to be present. so since he works on his time and his time only. child support will show him some time restraints.

By: VaselGlass001

VaselGlass001 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:12:13 +0000

Once again my humble opinion, you can not take way a mans right to be a father, if he is not the best man in the world. Let him be a good father, and maybe that will give him more motivation to be a better man. Once again I say I would rather havee children in marriage cause I believe that is the way GOD intended, however, I am not dumb and I know these things happen

SO I believe the best thing to do is if he wants to spend time with them, let him that takes some pressure off of you, it gives you time to take care of your business (even if you are without him there) two head are always better then one. You can not do it all by yourself, fathers are needed, and if you remember what it was like when you wished to see your father did it really matter if he had a job, or was the best man in the world? I doubt it, all that mattered to you, was that he was there and he showed you love. Because thats all that should matter.
In time that we live in right this second, there are a lot of men (women) without jobs, but they have kids, but if he wants to see his kids, and do something right, please mothers, put aside your hurt feelings, put aside your anger for him doing what he did, when he did, what he did. Put aside the lack of child support and look at the fact that he is putting forth an effort to be there.

Now if he is a guy who is not trying to be there, then you know what it is; but if he is trying, let the man be a father. Cause its hard to learn to be good men and women without a good father. God has given us both fathers and mothers. He said honor both not just mom.

By: zero_hero

zero_hero — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:27:43 +0000

Sorry, but sometimed the relationship with a dead beat dad scars the children, I AM A PRIME EXAMPLE! Children need a stable, positive male figure, but daddy ain’t always it. My mother felt we needed a relationship with our father, who was in and out of our lives and that very relationship is why I don’t have productive, intimate adult relationship and have trust issues. Luckily, I had a good mother and other positive males who helped me not become totally f-d up.

By: sexylilcaramel2

sexylilcaramel2 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:44:25 +0000

My thoughts is that no dad is better than a bad dad. I would rather see a positive role model in their lives than someone to show my son how to increase his chances of ending up in the morgue. I don’t think they per say need their father but at least a positive male role models. I think little girls need to see how women are suppose to be treated by a gentlemen not the “thug mentality” of a so called man. I also think that little boys need to see how real men treat and talk to a woman with respect. I think that positive reinforcement can come from any positive male role model not just their father because in the end all a child is looking for is love. It would be “dads” loss because he was not around to step up to that plate. Moms responsibility to see that the kids get that loving nurishment.

By: blkqwn06

blkqwn06 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:23:19 +0000

I agree all children should have a father in their lives. I have a 17 year old daughter who didn’t even meet her father until I sued him for child support when she was 8 years old. She has not seen him in over 6 years, but she has always had father figure in her life and she doesn’t feel like she has missed out on anything. Her so called dad won’t even pick up the phone to call her. Just because she shares his DNA does not mean he deserves to be her “father”.

By: blowyourmind32

blowyourmind32 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 06:28:37 +0000

I think that black men have a responsiblity to be in their kids lives to help them develop as productive young males/females and pass it on for generations to come, their are also so many obstacles to overcome that only a few are able to adapt, we must continue to develope love, respect and maturity among ourselves and not allow money, greed, selfishness, poverty, age, color of skin(dark skin vs light skin, young vs old, college vs highschool, living in the projects vs buying a home deter us from being the loving and caring people for white america to see.

By: MissKeda84

MissKeda84 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:15:43 +0000

I do feel that both boys and girls need their daddies in their lives. Its obvious that boys need their daddies to help show them and teach them about being a man and doing the things that men should do. But alot of people underestimate the importance of a father in a little girls life. For a girl, a daddy is the protector and the image what to look for in a future man and a representation of how that man should treat you. I know my daddy always said that a man should treat his girls like the queens that we are and i don’t expect anything less….even at 24.

By: AnGeLbAbIi1508

AnGeLbAbIi1508 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:51:31 +0000

I FEEL THAT ALL KIDS NEED THERE FATHER ESPECIALLY GIRLS BECAUSE SOME YOUNG GIRLS WILL SLEEP WITH YOUNG MEN OR BOYS JUS TO FILL THE MISSING VOID OF THERE FATHERS AND THE FATHERS THAT WILL LEAVE AND WONT DO NOTHING FOR THERE KIDS THEN I DONT CONSIDER U A MAN FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT U CANT EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE AND JUS CALL TO MAKE SURE UR KID IS ALIVE TO MANY BABY’S AND YOUNG TEENS ARE DYING

By: texas_finest5

texas_finest5 — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:44:36 +0000

I SAY THAT YES CHILDREN NEED THERE FATHER. I WAS ONE OF THOSE FATHERLESS CHILDREN. WEN MY MOM AND DAD DIVORCED I WAS 11 AND HE MOVED OUT OF THE STATE. MY BROTHER WAS 7 AND MY SISTER WAS 5. THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND MUCH THEN BUT AS THEY GOT OLDER THEY SEEN. I HAD TO TAKE TIME OUT OF MY CHILDHOOD TO HELP MY MOM TAKE KARE OF MY BRO AND SIS. WE SEEN OUR DAD MAYBE ONCE A YEAR. WEN HE MOVED TO HOUSTON A KOUPLE YEARS AGO MY BRO, SIS AND I ALL STARTED REKINDLING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR DAD. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME THAT MY BRO NOW HAS THAT MALE FIGURE BAK IN HIS LIFE.

By: Dr_McCaskey

Dr_McCaskey — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:11:26 +0000

Child support doesn’t work for ANYONE. The whole system is designed to have people fail. For women it’s the pay back for years of abuse or things the dad did; for some men it’s away out from their responsibilities so who wins? No One 60% of men don’t take care of their kids and 60% of women Marry men that don’t like their kids, Go to your local DHR and ask about your state numbers of Step Parent Abuse.
2. People need to learn who and what to do Freud said ” People will be content with self gratification instead of doing whats right”.

Why women date men out of prison? and have these men teach good kids bad habits? I am in Georgia and all the kids I work with tell me horrible stories of rape, abuse and family business.

See people play stupid games accept your responsibilities I have 5 kids by 3 different women and love my kids, but I too know the heartaches a father faces.

I was in the navy and Child support killing me and someone getting half of your check and still call you for light bill money or kids need shoes,or my boyfriend stole my cards I have heard all the lies before.

But God taught me to be a man do whats right even when you know their lying see the only person that looses when you try to use people is you.

I progressed from a soldier to a Dr and a pretty good dad but all the pain and lies don’t hurt now that my kids are of age and see who did what and really loved them.

At 14 kids can decide who they want to stay with well my two older daughters I posted about having trouble took their mom to court and the Judge gave them to me and now she got to pay me child support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD IS GOOD

By: honesty906

honesty906 — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:07:11 +0000

TO ALL SISTERS WHO MAY THINK THAT DAD IS NOT IMPORTANT REMEMBER THAT CHILS DNA COMES BACK 98.8 PERCENT HIS SO THAT SHOULD TELL YOU THAT DAD WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. NOW MY HUSBAND DIED AND LEFT ME WITH 5 CHILDREN 2G-3B THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS ALIVE HE DID MORE THEN I NOTICE BECAUSE THE YOUNGEST WAS 6 AT THAT TIME BUT TODAY IF I ASK ANY OF MY SONS WHO TAUGHT THEM HOW TO DO THAT THEY ALWAYS SAY DAD. I SEE HIM IN ALL MY CHILDREN HE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THERE FOR THEM GROWING UP BUT LONG ENOUGH FOR THEM TO KNOW WHAT DADDY WOULD SAY. I ALSO HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD SON MY NEW HALF BECAUSE HE IS MARRIED I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE ME SPENDING ALL MY TIME RAISING A CHILD AGAIN ON MY OWN BUT HE WAS THERE EVERYDAY EXCEPT WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR HIS FAMILY VACATIONS HE HAS A BROTHER AND SISTER ON HIS SIDE WHO ARE NOW 19 AND 22 AND I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM SINCE 1989 ALL THE CHILDREN HAVE NOT MEANT BECAUSE THATS HOW THE WIFE WANTS IT BUT THEY ARE OF AGE NOW AND THEY KNOW DADS DEEP DARK SECRETAND SO IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD BUT I DECIDED TO GO FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND WON AND HE STATES THAT IF HE HAS TO PAY THEN THERE IS NO NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH OUR SON BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN PREPARE TO HANDLE THIS BECAUSE OF MY OTHER 5 AND HE HAS NOT SEEN DAD IN 2 YEARS BUT I KNOW THE TIME AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY MY SON WANTS FOR NOTHING HE HAS DADS PHONE NUMBER ADDRESS HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIS GRANDPARENTS(WHO BY THE WAY WAS TOTALLY SHOCK AFTER FINDING OUT 10 YEARS LATER) HIS BROTHER AND SISTER ON THAT SIDE BUT HE IS MORE FOCUS ON ME. WE ARE DOING JUST FINE.

By: True2heart76

True2heart76 — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 08:12:36 +0000

I have two boys, 13 & 5, and neither one asks about their dad. They have met them & rather not be around them. You cannot force a child to be around someone that they do not want to see because of their experience with them. yes, they do need positive male role models in their life, but that’s where other men in the family come in (i.e. grandfather, uncles, cousins, etc.)

By: LADYGEEGEE1967

LADYGEEGEE1967 — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 05:03:25 +0000

yes, they need there father in their life, but if he choose not to be the man that he needs to be, i feel like your brother, uncle can help in that respect.

By: mz_diamondprincess69

mz_diamondprincess69 — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 04:00:13 +0000

YES THESE BABIES DO BECUZ I’M GO THROUGH DAT RITE NOW MY SON IS 3 1/2 MONTHS N HIS FATHER SAW HIM 4 TIMES SINSE HE BEEN BORN N DATS NOT RITE…DEY NEED THEY FATHERS LIKE THEY NEED THEIR MOTHERS…DADDYS START STEP’N UP

By: Shesruff

Shesruff — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:21:50 +0000

Take them to court and get a check…what does that do…does that check teach a child the things a man is supposed to? It aint about the money….

By: glorifiedlady

glorifiedlady — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:41:45 +0000

These dead beat dads are getting away without taking care of their responabilty is because women are not taking them to court and fighting for what’s right.

By: glorifiedlady

glorifiedlady — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:39:22 +0000

Yes Kids need their father in there lives especially the male child, my sister is going through hell with her two sons the older son is 11 And trying to smoke weed and other drugs. the father all he does is run around with other women and take care of children that don’t even belong to him. men need to step up to the plate and be a father to their children and not just sperm doners.

By: EbonyBishop

EbonyBishop — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:02:41 +0000

Many of these comments is on point. Children need their fathers. But men need to want to be there for their children. Some men are funny – they feel like I’m not messing with her and I’m not messing with them. And that is wrong, if you feel like your baby mother is a flight head or useless be it as it may – even more so you should want to be there for your kids to make sure they make it through all right.

I look at my son and I can see how different and more balanced he is for having has access to both his parents. No adult should want to deny a child the change to know where they come from.

By: bass30

bass30 — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:26:45 +0000

good or bad all kids need their daddy. all of them

By: _AReighofSunshyne_

_AReighofSunshyne_ — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 07:04:14 +0000

I believe that a child can have a well rounded life without the child’s father bieng around.

If he/she has a positive male figure that is around, that is far better then having a deadbeat dad that doesnt do anything or contribute anything in the childs life.

By: glcIII

glcIII — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:44:55 +0000

As one who coaches and works with kids it is very easy to see the boys who don’t have fathers in their lives and most times you know before you even meet the family.

It’s sad but many of these boys have no idea of how to act around other boys let alone men which leads to a lot of visible anger.

By: leoallblessen

leoallblessen — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:15:36 +0000

Black kids (especially boys) need men in their lives. Ideally, these men should start with their own fathers. I am assuming their (I know this is a fantasy) mothers only slept with responsible men.
This, my bros and sistas is the main reason the jails are filling up with school-drop-outs black males.
Note: I anin’t tryin to hear abt what’s going on with WHITE FOLKS OR ANY OTHER KIND OF FOLKS. It is us who have the worst problem with this!!

By: hOnEylOvE2571

hOnEylOvE2571 — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:10:51 +0000

Well me being a Single parent at 24 yrs old myself with 2 daughters(who have the same father) I can say this: My girls father isnt around and he doesnt do anything for them… I havent taken him to Court for Child Support or anything and I dont plan on taking him for it either… Some might say I am crazy and others just look at me like what is she thinking that man HAS to pay Child Support for those kids… I get into it with my Parents, Family and Friends about the situation but I look at it like this; Me as a Mother and a Woman I feel like I shouldnt have to FORCE a MAN to do what he is SUPPOST to be doing on his own… yea I can be that CRAZY Baby Momma and bring the DRAMA but that is not in me… All I ever asked of that man is to be around his Kids thats all I want I dont need his money and I dont wanna be with him I just want him to be their… Lets face it my girls are 5 and 4 and I have made it this far without a PENNY from him… so why even bother… I think that a child NEEDS their Father in their Life wether he is a good person or a LAZY one… its our obligation as a MOTHER to teach our kids whats right and whats wrong… eventually later on down the Line the kids will realize it on their own as well…

By: Camsspy

Camsspy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:02:29 +0000

Isn’t it time to stop asking this same pathetic question? too many rolling stones nowadays – STOP giving these men an excuse for not doing what their SUPPOSE to do. If I didn’t sacrifice and take care of my child – society would call me all kinds of sc** and yet we still ask this same dumb ass question? OF COURSE a child should have their father in their life HOWEVER, if the father is inconsistent with visits, won’t contribute financially, etc., how is he the one to teach a boy how to be a MAN or a girl how a man should respect her? He either doesn’t really care or is still immature and mentally stunted. That’s part of our problem – these knucklehead jr’s continuing to send on the wrong message to these young boys and girls and the sad ass cycle continues.. wake up already – our people and culture is being erased mostly by us – so let’s talk about HOW we can teach these older boys how to be men and for you women who don’t allow visitation cause you’re holding out for the dollar – you’re not helping change the cycle either. It does takes a village folks!

By: redman_9

redman_9 — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:56:15 +0000

I work with kids and i see the difference in kids who don’t have a father figure around, I say if he wants the see the child let him because those memories are whats most important which was last him until he dies, unlike his financial responsiblity which stops when he is 18. Children who don’t have fathers will find one and it might not be from the best of places

By: Solely_Focused

Solely_Focused — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:21:17 +0000

I dont have too much to say that hasnt already been said – but I will say this: I feel that children need a father figure period. If its biological – then great; if its a male figure who can be that mentor, ear, lesson teacher, example setter, etc…then thats not a bad call either. I was raised with both my mother and father in my life, but I can honestly say that during times when I lived away from my parents, having a father figure (and even mother figure) where the most positive things that happened to me. I guess its along those lines of “it takes a community to raise a child”…