how many times are you going to go over this topic???
everybody already knows that men can be monogamous. women get cheated on because they are bad at picking men. everybody already knows that 93% of men are dogs and 93% of women are materialistic golddiggers. after the age of 17 i never cheated in any relationship i was in. so there you have it. LIVING PROOF! question answered. YES men can be monogamous. Can women be non-materialist?

I would agree to a point. People, you must live a little life to understand life. In the past I was not faithful because I was ignorant of my woman’s feelings. So now, rather than get into a committed relationship, I choose to stay single and mingle. I am honest and up front to every lady I encounter and if they want to play, batter up.

Darealreckless just shut this shyt down. lol!!!!

NEVER

this is really a dumb question. how about: can women be monogamous? i think in nowadays time women can cheat as easily and as much as men.

If a man is truly happy he won’t cheat. Women cheat just as much as men and always have they just hide it better, well until now where honestly women now a days lack lots of common sense, not all women but most. Women don’t do the little things to keep their man happy anymore, its the times..

men cheat .. men are not to be trusted. i havnt met a man yet thats willing to be with one women..Its like men are allergic to one women ..they gotta have 5 or 6
like its cute or sumthing..& when they get older they still dont change their mind sets so .. men are dogs regardless of age..race ..religion ..(they all are like dogs in heat)& women are emotionally more attached than men so ..we dont have a big problem commiting to one man (we only cheat when a man is not keeping us the women happy!!

Anybody has the will power to do so, but you have to be honest with yourself and whoever you want to be with. If you are not ready to be monogamous then be upfront with the person(s) that you are dealing with. Kutous to the one that says that he does that. That is the grown up thing to do. And yes in this day and time women are more open to just being “single and mingle” then going through a relationship. Nothing wrong with that. Only you and God’s spirit of change over you and your personal desires will determine when you are ready to settle down in life. To God Be The Glory.

MEN CAN NOT BE MONOGAMOUS !!!

its alot of women that are unmaterialistic…You just have to find the right one just like women have to find the right man…I think if your heart is into that person you will not cheat…I’d like to find me a monogamus man…cause I havent found a good one yet…

My apology misspelled word, meant “kudos”.

Can women stop messing around with each other?

no

I agree that the majority of guys cant be but there is hope that some guys can

No Man can be Monogamous!!!!

u know what we only do what a women allows us 2 do. but a man is a man & a woman is a woman.b grown enjoy life just b safe & careful @ all u do… PEACE

I agree with what Abiola said. “If you gonna do it, just wrap it up” and just be honest with yourself. IMHO, I think men are not made to be Monogamous beings and we are trying to defy nature. Thats why you have what you have, for how many thousands of years? We trying but it’s not working for 99.7% of us. The real question should be, can women just accept the fact that men love many women. And if they could, would be with as many as they could handle openly and have one big happy family lol…

If a woman think that NO MAN AND I MEAN NO MAN can be monagamous, SHE IS FOOLING HERSELF AS WELL AS LYING TO HERSELF.

Its not every man’s fault that you go to bed with guys that only intentions is to bed you then leave. Hold out and really get to know him. YOU MIGHT SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF HEARTACHE AND HEADACHES AS WELL.

Of course we can be, but who the hell would voluntarily do something crazy like that?

I don’t believe that men cannot be monagamous. That man is hard to come by but its not impossible. for the people who are saying men will never change…quit going to bed with nasty men. the problem is not man’s genetic makeup, its the men your picking!

If people lived righteously, then monogamous would not be an issue for anyone. When God created Adam and then Eve, he did not say go and be adulterous. We have allowed ourselves to be bamboozled by the deceitfulness of the evil spirits of the world and falling prey to that falseness of why we are here. Our real purpose here on earth is to praise and worship God. Stop allowing yourselves to justify why you are doing things that hurt and demean people.

in a nutshell . . . real men do . . . ‘males’ that don’t mature and grow up don’t and never will . . .

you can only be monogamous if you choose not to settle, that means being every bit the man of your dreams as the man of her dreams.

If you punt and take the two-point conversion chick…the good but just “good enough” woman…nah you can’t be mongamous…because every other chick you “know” will try to one-up your B+ boo.

sure men can be monogamous.can women stop messing with men who are married/attached?I think that is the better question.

Agreeing w/ DAREALRECKLESS

Yea this is a meaningless conversation bc the fact of the matter is, Some women are just not going to change their perception for Whateva reasons. You never met a monogamous man or men thats all on you, you probably have but was blinded by the wants and needs u desired while all along u had that faithful, good man on the side of you that lacked in certain areas. Like I said it B4, there are always going to be temptation, Always.. but, its really simple not to cheat, like anything else it takes practice, repetitions, and with some.. A whole Lot of it 2…Lol

That is a stupid question, every relationship I have been in I have been monagamous. It’s kinda funny I know very few men who are and the women seem to be foolin themselves knowing deep down they are with a man who is not monagamous. There are still a few good ones out there ladies stop settling for the bottom of the barrel.

Hell to the yeah if Beyonce was mine.

blurgh….wtf is that football analogy? That s**t just don’t make sense.

imma say like this no simply because there is a percentage of women that aint wife nor relationship material (no disrespect intended ladies) that are only good for one thing (just like some men) i hate say it but its true you can have an ol lady but these hoes are for everbody not saying its right but it’s some women out there are only good for sex and then the good women of today are always busy but that hoe she’s always ready to go thats why they say what one woman won’t do another woman will and we got that b***hes phone number on speed dial

Well if you stop highlighting and praising pimps playas and thugs along with athletes, forgiving preacher boys and saying i’m godfearin christians bull s**t. stop calling good men wimps and fags or dl then you’ll stop the ill things…if women accept it…it progresses…stop complaining whining assuming it to be and fix it. Also…it’s a two way street…these men arent rapin the women are not stupid they open they’re legs as fast as he pulls his zipper down.

why is beyonce wearing pajamas without footies

When a man/woman meets the right person, monogamy doesnt need to be questioned. Why is this question towards the men?? Can

Can WOMEN be monogamous, thats another question.

Jay Z Monogamous? LMAO

Listen people back in the day i would’ve said yes men can be monogamous…but now the way the world is and the way things end up, im going to have to say no men cant be monogamous.

America has taught it’s populace to consume as much as they possibly can. To cut against the grain of this teaching by trying to be monogomous with one person is a contradiction. In this light one of the main problems that arise when ‘sleeping around’ is the conception of children. Roe v. Wade for men would help correct this issue. If a man and woman have casual sex and a pregnancy occurs; men should have the right ot opt out of the situation if the woman chooses to have the baby independently. To iron out this would make it easier for men and woman to sleep around as much as they wanted. Monogomy wouldn’t be an issue.

Being monogamous is too easy for me to do. My problem is when I’m being monogamous with a young lady she has a tendency to allow her girlfriends cloud her judgement convincing her that I’m cheating when I’m not. Until women learn to recognize when a man is being honest and sincere with her and leave the girlfriends behind who don’t have a man this issue will continue to surface.

ANYBODY CAN BE MONOGAMOUS.

Of course men can be monogamous. I believe that within today’s society, its a lot easier to sleep around with whoever you chose and not suffer too many consequences (minus STDs and unplanned pregnancies, which obviously are big problems), but I honestly believe there comes a day when the idea of being a “playa” comes to an end for SOME men. Now, the entire male race? No, obviously not, because, as humans, we’re all built differently. Some men will do the Hugh Hefner thing till they die, but I think others eventually realize that an orgasm only lasts about 10 seconds (if that), and love (that is nurtured) can last a lifetime. Also, its a lot about WHO you love as well :). Some men just haven’t met the right one yet.

Yes, men can be monogamous. If we can do it, so can they. They just have to earn our trust first.

if the man is strong minded and not so weak in the flesh he can do it. I had a guy who I believed was committed yo me and only me.

What is monogamous? is that when your famous to only only person. That dont make sense. Na, but really aint hardly no broad worth being monogamous for, the baby boomer generation did a horrible job of raising they’re daughters. We should just do away with marrige as a whole its a bad joke, Hell my baby momma is married and not to me. You hoes is scandalous

OOOO no for those who think that women r the resaon men can’t b monagamous because of our ways!!! this is for u all …c what men don’t realize is that when woman or even young girls start 2 date we love full hearted and when our hearts are played with, sometimes woman become hard 2 deal with… or even when we watch others go thru messss such as our Mother’s Brother’s etc.. n away women think they are protectin themselves…. but in the long run it’s harmful…. but keep in mind just like we work with men on their problems u all n SOME cases should b there for us in the same way… dont get me wrong some woman r just CRAZY b aware of them!

YEAH, I BELIEVE THAT HE’LL HAVE TO EARN MY TRUST BECAUSE THEIR EYES WONDER BUT “A” AT LEAST ITS BACK ON THE PRIZE NOW. BUT UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS THAT I CAN HAVE WONDERING EYES TOO THEN I LOOK WHEN I SEE SOMEONE NICE SO HE CAN SEE HOW IT FEELS. BUT NOW I AM ENGAGED AND MY MAN KNOW EACH OTHERS TYPE…SO “A” … ITS ALL GOOD!

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Of course men can be monogamous. Those men who are selfish, disrespect themselves, their partners and don’t care about contracting and spreading disease are not monogamous. Any secure, respectful, responsible individual will be honest with themselves and their partners and remain monogamous.

Yes, men can be a one woman man. this has to do with Give and Take. It is important that they are in a healthy Sexual relationship, they must know their partners signals and their signals only.
While serving overseas I was always ask “why not have some fun while away,” I in turn conveyed that it makes the homecoming a lot more interesting, I was faithful but my x was not.

LAD Boy did you graduate from High School? Your words are so immature and stupid. Men like you are the reason so many black women are single. And how can you say the baby boomers did a horrible job of raising their daughters. I think you got the baby boomers mixed up with Generation X or whatever the next generation was after the baby boomers. And I really do believe you don’t have a clue what managomous is. I bet you are one of the ones that are spreading diseases amongst young black women.

Thanks Abiola, this is a can of worms I desperately wanted to get in to. First and for most I too, don’t believe a man can be monogamous, only from many years of experience I have arrived at this point (understanding) I realized this way before my
marriage frizzled . The thing that got me the most was my husband just couldnt tell the truth to save his life or our marriage, heck everything he did I was aware of. I met many of his flings other lovers, what ever you want to call them. It was when after one of his 6 month expeditions ( he need space thing, to think, thing) came to an end and he came home to find I had given some one my number and he decided to punish me by choking me and beating me ( the double standard ,trophy syndrome ).
I also have found when I say to a man of my interest I understand that man can not be boxed into monogamy , they are ready and set to go or even for the fact of saving face and sounding moral they may respond by saying that they can be monogamous. My problem has been me being mature and aware of this, most of my conversation would go some like ” I can except the truth ” , ” I feel I deserve the right to chose if this is a situation I want to partake in” and thats when the hell on earth comes into play. I believe man say woman cant handle the truth because they dont want her to have a chose. Now I also feel that you are correct in saying honesty is important it is a necessity . What was not said is the double standard which we all are aware of these men ask so much of a woman but never stated how they feel it is they should treat there woman. When you add that milk to the coffee thats when the powerhouse lies take place. These men want to have special treatment (want to be the only ones receiving these benefit) but most of the time have very lil to offer other than some type of vowel or commitment and other wise they are so easily replaced. The way I see it is fare exchange aint no robbery. It is totally a hated issue for a women to be aware and have a option or say so in a relationship. If she comes in to the relationship with this understanding she is frowned upon only because it gives her a chose, I find that men hate that. This is me my opinion I have one of so many and I could go on and on. Nice topic.

Yeah definetly….but whether Man or Woman you have to be honest with yourself. Most people cheat because they are unhappy in current relationship, and therefore rather than say hey” let me out of this relationship” said person says nothing at all, whether out of fear of hurting S.O. or fear of losing something S.O. is bringing to the table. Unfortunately everyone learns about love at different stages in their lives. maybe its something that should be taught in school.

We don’t have many good men left in this world, so here’s my advice to all the ladies if you have a good man hold on to him don’t never try to put a wishbone where a backbone ought to be.

Okay…what couldn’t-get-a-man-if-I-bought-a-mannequin-at-Macy’s pathetic ass broad created this topic?

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Do you people REALLY think it’s just a co-inky-dink that this dizzy b***h brought this topic up on FATHER’S DAY?…this just further proves my point of fathers not meaning s**t in this country…

:::::::::::::::::::::::

I bet this clown will expect everybody to respect and show worship on Mother’s day….

:::::::::::::::::::::::

F**k that….

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How about making a topic showing respect to fathers and guys in general instead of trying to incite a battle of the sexes, you f**king DICK!

:::::::::::::::::::::::

Someone shoot this b***h and get it over with…

:::::::::::::::::::::::

What’s worse is that there are some dumb f**k ass broads on here feeding into this topic…I’m not even wasting my time with the video…..

“Darealreckless’ King of Morons, and needs to have his freeom of speech revoked, as well as his stooge supporters.

This is a conversation for the truly grown and intellectual. I will say that there some females who will cheat. But for the most part any female that cheats has usally reached a breaking point with her man.

Before makes the actually move to cheat she’s thought long and hard about it. The reason is usually filling an emotional void her man has created by his distance or inaffectual behavior. She doesn’t leave her man because she actually wants things to improve. Now is that a valid reason for cheating?, no.

For other females who cheat there’s usally a do it to him before he does it to me mentally which often stems from repeatedly being with unfaithful men. Or she’s doing it to get back at her man for cheating. One the other hand most of the time when a man is cheated on she’s history.

None the less, a woman who loves her man and is being satisfied by him in every aspect of their relationship will never cheat. Some men are like that as well.

But for the most part a man can love his women and will cheat just because he can or just because he’s greedy

yes we can be monogamous. yall just end up barking up the wrong tree. some women rather a man not tell them that they swing on the side. i know because i’ve spoken out about this with women. but we can keep it in our pants just as you can tuck it under your skirt. i know i can considering i believe in karma, got a heart, AND don’t want no man eating and beating my pie ;-). by the way ladies i am currently single. i love art, music, comedic films, writing in all forms, a good conversationalist, funny as the hell, yeah you read that right lol, and have a positive outlook in life. :-)

I agree with Iwalkalone247, out of all things to dialogue about. Weak topic, catering to a disaffected audience. Please, someone find this sister another job!

According to The Maury Povich Show…we should ask that about women.

By the way, all men don’t cheat on their woman…period. And where there is a man cheating…(hetero)..there is a woman there helping him cheat..no such thing as having sex to fill an emotional void…

Yes they can,it also depends on the woman it’s been said to many times before whatever you did to get him you have to do the same thing to keep him,and it does’nt necessarily mean sexually.It had to be some quality in you he found intreresting.So with that said you have to keep up appearance,have stimulating conversation,be creative when your intimate.All this plays a big part in keeping the relationship fresh.However some men can have all that in a woman and still get tempted but if he knows deep down you have been faithful to him and he has a conscience it wont be hard for him to keep himself for only you.It’ my opinion about the matter.

any man that doesn’t cheat. can’t.

I won’t say that all men cheat, I can only say that I know most of them do. I was if my husband for 5 years . Out of that five years I never stepped out on him once. Now in a a year of marriage I caught him cheating over 13 times. (I never walked in on it) But I have talked to women and had a few of them over to my home. The questions that most people would ask would be “well what were you not doing”? And you see that just it. There was nothing that I didn’t do because I loved him. Everything he ever wanted in the bedroom, cook, clean, keep my self up as well as my children. So I kind of felt like damn, what the hell am I doing all of this for if he’s still going to cheat anyway. So I gave him what he wanted. To be free. I guess I’m saying is this. Before you make a decision that can change not only yours but someone else for the rest of their life, make sure that what you really truly want.

I believe a man can be monogamous (1) if he really loves his girl(2)if he has a strong mind. If his mind is weak he will fall at every chance. The men that try to be monogamous has to be strong minded because of the boldness and looseness of some women. There are men and women alike who don’t respect their relationship or anyone elses for that matter. It seem like when you’re in a relationship, thats when the wolves come out. When you are single they are not interested, but have that glow of love and happiness and its on. Women can be monogamous as well if they love their man and have a strong mind, cause if not it is always a man waiting,willing and ready!! So be good to ur mate and be lacking in nothing cause you won’t do someone will!!

Can Men Be Monogamous? okay why is this question just based towards men like women dont cheat???
i think and believe women cheat just as much as men do, men just get caught more often than women! i think is equal so there are men and women that are monogamous and just as much that are not,but we talk more about men cheating because when we women get our feelings hurt we have to talk about it.

Ive had plenty of monogamous relationships. In fact it the only kind I want. so yeah mufuqua we can! not everybody like to share croch juice and VD’s

lol oprah wanna be’s. you burnt for that one

Absolutely men are very protective of their feelings so as long as he knows his mate is his we have no problem with being a one woman man.

Generalizing us again I see?

its not about if a man can be its about if any sex can be. dont just put it all on a man. even though woman are more faithful than men, i think that they can be faithful as well.

Man I don wanna hear this garbage. I am a man and to answer the question; yes we can be monogamous. The real question should be “Can People Be or Learn To Be Monogamous?” Hell can Women Be Monogamous? they don ask that question cause women keep secret more then men and take the s**t to their grave. It is not just men, women be dishonest too. Ain no such thing as a little lie or a big lie; A lie is a lie or bein dishonest is straight bein dishonest. It depends on that person not the gender so I really wish society would stop doggin out us brothas for s**t women do too be we the only ones wrong. For myself I can speak I can be 100% with any female that keep it 100% with me; GOOD OR BAD. Holla atcha f**kin boi

I’m noticing a bias against men with this one. Women can be just as sneaky as men. The only difference is they get away with it more often

men and WOMEN are can be monogamous….to who they really care for….i believe if u really love someone you will be ..or if u really like them and care about there feeling and the feeling you have for them…

you know i used to think that myself being the posterity of kings and cheifs who had many wives and being full aware of genetic psycology and i can honestly say yea if i can any man can im in love happy with less drama and 1 person to focus and direct all the love i have to give.

IT NEVER A PROBLEM TO BE WITH ONE TRUE QUEEN BUT THESE NEW SCHOOL KATS IS MAKEING IT A BAD THANG TO BE WITH ONE WOMAN YOU HEAR IT IN THE MUSIC YOU SEE IT IN THE MUSIC VIDEO’S AND IN OTHER LINES OF MEDIA BUT FOR ME ITS ALWAYS OLD SCHOOL BEING WITH ONE TRUE FAITHFUL HONEST LOYAL GOD FEARING RESPECTFUL GOOD HEARTED WOMAN ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE’S A ONE MAN WOMAN TO FIND THOSE QUALITIES IN A LADY OUT HERE IN CALIFORNIA ITS LIKE A NEEDLE IN A HAY STACK WE GOT SERIOUS ISSUE’S OUT HERE WITH OUR FEMALES 1. BEING GAY 2. BEING A FEMALE PIMP 3.OR EITHER TRYING TO BE A PLAYAT 4. OR HERE IT IS LORD HAVE MERCY THEY BE TRYING TO PLAY TWO GUYS AT THE SAME TIME GOLD DIGGERS SO OUT HERE ITS SLIM PICKINGS WITH THE LADIES THEY GOT ISSUES HELP EM LORD !

LOL. Some of the comments are hilarious. I may lose my card for this, but it goes both ways. Men and women can both be scandelous, really foul. And yes, I believe men can be monogamous, although I’ve never had one. I do know they exist, but it’s just too bad they are related to me. LOL So yes, a man can be monogamous.

Men can not be monogamous. Spreading their seed is hard-wired in their DNA. Loyalty is a 4-letter word for them. Remember: A man is only as faithful as his options. When his p***s becomes less reliable is when he’s ready to settle. Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I’ll show you a man who is tired of screwing her and ready to move to the next beautiful conquest. The End.

Yes men can be monogamous. i am living proof. I have never once cheated on a girlfriend but unfortunately i cant say the same for the women i have dealt with.

It’s funny, I’m divorced, and sometimes when I’m asked about my marital status by other women the first thing they think is that i cheated on her, NEWS FLASH, I never cheated on my wife and had no intention of doing so. Yes men can be monogamous, ladies please don’t assume that when a man is divorced, it is because he cheated, there are other issues in marriges besides fidelity.

I think that men can be monogamous IF they choose to be! It’s really so sad that many of them don’t “choose” to be. The ones like that mess it up for the ones who are really and truly good men. It’s really not that hard to be honest in your relationship. Being honest takes a lot less effort than trying to cover up for some craziness that U have done!! Men should understand that the outcome is SELDOM good when they play with a woman’s heart—mind—and body! It’s so-so much easier to just be real!! It’s a sad day in our world when we have 40/50 yr old men who want to try to be Playaz and act like they are in their early 20′s!! Kudos to you “few good men” that are left in the world!!

Women, you know why men can’t be monogamous? Because (1), you all take sex too seriously, and (2), sex is too easy for women to get and too hard for men! So when it happens, its like overcoming a social-sexual obstacle that builds the male ego. Try “flooding the market” and maybe the value of sex will go down enough where abundancy will make it too “boring” for us men to chase. LOLOLOL

hell no we can’t be monogamous, it goes against Gods plan which is to multiply, especially if your in the world and sinning like we don’t give a fukk which the majority of the men in the world don’t, give a fukk,,,,that is. Remember the key word is majority,, those not n the majority, Gays, a man thats intune with God in his life,, or that man u don’t really want,, women,,,,, that can’t even buy a woman.

Yes men and women can be in a monogamous relationship only if they have that intimate relationship with God. When you learn how to please God and have a relationship with him, that relationship helps you build yourself for your husband/wife. Like in a marriage, a true relationship with God means you have to be faithful, obedient, trustworthy, reliable, honest, committed, helpful, loving, forgiving, understanding and the list goes on. God helps you build all these characteristics through him to help men and women be in monogamous relationships. Think about it God’s everything we need in all that we do!

YES they can…IF they CHOOSE tho do so…Its a CHOICE.If HE’S weak,,,he will give in.MEN that choose not to be are FOLLOWING and not LEADING.Its really simple to pass it off and blame it on the excuse that EVERYONE else is doing it.I might as well do it to..Again,it takes a true MAN who STANDS by his WORD,his ,CONVICTIONS.To UPHOLD what he has PROMISED to his WOMAN and everyone else.Not to be liked by everyone,but to do it for HIMSELF.
TO BE A LEADER…so again,YES,if MEN CHOOSE to be MONOGAMOUS.

I was monogamous for 11 years we separated because my money situation took a turn for the worst. What’s so f**ked up is I came back into this situation again once my money got right and she’s doing the same s**t againnow that I’m broke. I see what makes black men not love black women everytime I went broke she would go out to clubs and things like that the hurt is helping me to get over her. I did bad things in this relationship also but damn I never had sex with no other woman. I guess that’s not worth anything any more. My thing is what you reap is what you sow.

I believe that men can be monogamous if they choose to be. I have many examples in my life. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years. If a man chooses to be monogamous then he will follow through with it.

Who cares bout them???

If You Want 2…

Yes, but it takes a REAL Man to do so. One who lives his life according to his word, and the word of GOD. Happy Father’s Day Fella, In honor of mine

no and why should we,its a waste of time for most and when s**t starts to go south or take a turn for the worst the sorry black b***hes that call themselfs strong black women take a turn for the door.most humans who see that someone has their backs in alot of cases when s**t gets bad will for the most part return the favor,but seeing though the black female is known to be a backstabbing cunning and ruthless cutthroat b***h(AND PROUD OF IT)they end up holding the bag when it comes to relationships cause most black men know a pimp when they see one.and black men dont see them selfs getting pimped by a b***h who claims to be his woman when she should have his back while shes holding daggers in her hand.so most brothers dont see being monogamous.

It’s funny i just had this conversation with my dumb azz wife HELL NO MEN CANT it is impossible. my wife told me(about this low life guy)” he is just a friend we talk thats all ” i found some pics of her sitting on the lap of her friend holding him and even in elizabeth park with her friend she claim to only talk to.. talk one week.holding. another week… then sex so …On fathers day im spending at my store totally sepperated from my wife…..MONOGAMAS NO…. men need to have, and think about sex every twenty minutes woman ???? I think woman daydream to often and men take total advantage of that …..

I believe men could be monogamous if they real choose to do the right thing. Also,men that cheat might have self-esteem issues,whereas they need women to boost their egos.If they find out who they are in Christ,they value their life much more, instead of gambling with stds are AIDS. Everyone knows condoms isn’t a 100% safe.

I’m just glad to see people commenting that monogamy is a CHOICE…not the natural way of men. Men were made to be polygamous while women were made to be with one man at a time. Our Christian religion and Eurocentric society says we should be monogamous…that one man to one woman is what our Creator intended. I don’t believe that. However, I DO believe that if a man takes a VOW to forsake all others, then that is his commitment and he has an obligation to stay true to the CHOICE he has made.

The answer is yes….but it’ll happen when they have a reason to do it. If you’re over 30..and you’re still saying black men aint s**t….hate to tell you but its not the men…ITS YOU!!! If a 40 yr old women dated a different man everyday since she was born she still would not have dated 2% of the black male population.Again..men will be monogamous when they meet a women thats worthy.

yea i think they can i hope dat every father have a very good day !!

…People are going to get what they need…it’s human nature…point blank, period….everyone wants the freedom to choose….adults usually know who they are by 40..some before….better chance at monagomy after 40!…

It does take a real man to be monogamous? But where are they? The ones who claim to be good men turn out to be liars and manipulators. And men seems to only want the nasty women and not the good women… Just b/c they had their hearts broken they do not want to be in a relationship with a good woman. I was in this situation where I was liking this guy but he was not ready to be in a relationship b/c his heart was broken. He knew I was a good woman to be with but yet he seem like he didn’t want to be with me. He just want to continue to sleep around… I want him to know that he’s missing out on a good thing…. I would have treated him with the up most respect all I wanted was the same in return… But, I assume he’s happy with how he is…. It just seems hard for men to be faithful and committed these days…

YES, YES, YES! I man can be monogamous. I have great personal examples in my father and brother of men who were monogamous to their women, as I was to my ex.

What bothers me is this culture of gross mistrust we’ve accepted in the black community. Women enter “committed” relationships with men they don’t trust and get surprised when he does something that isn’t worthy of her trust.

NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, addresses our low expectations of one another in Black America. And, as someone who has admittedly been in therapy for more than a solid year (not because I’m crazy but because my mental and emotional health are that important to me), I have learned simply to not deal with women that don’t trust me. Yet I’ve had women admit they don’t trust me but “want to be with me.”

Who can realistically expect a healthy, committed relationship under those circ**stances?

And, for the record, there are scores of great black men out there who don’t look like star athletes or entertainers. These brothers want a shot at just one, JUST ONE, sister who is willing to let him show her how much love he wants to give to ONE WOMAN.

Well, I think a lot of us are so uncultured nowadays and we think we got it like that and cannot look back at core values and what is really important. A Goochie Bag or whatever they call it, is more important than monogamous relationships. Women cheat just as well as men…while men are more doggish with it, women finesse with it and make it ok. Then they run you through the court system and f/ you psychologically and financially…hahahha…It’s not funny but uhhh NAS YOU A GOOD DUDE YO..LOVE YO MUSIC…KEEP YA HEAD UP MAN…this too will pass…cause it ain’t gitting ani bettta dog

YES, YES, YES! A man can be monogamous. I have great personal examples in my father and brother of men who were monogamous to their women, as I was to my ex.

What bothers me is this culture of gross mistrust we accept in the black community. I shake my head at women who enter “committed” relationships with men they don’t trust then get surprised when they do things that aren’t worthy of trust . . . but at least he looked good, was great in bed, drove the right car, wore the right clothes and lived in a nice place.

NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, addresses our low expectations of one another in Black America. I have learned simply to not deal with women that don’t trust me and I who I don’t feel I can trust (yes, they exist). Yet I’ve had women admit they don’t trust me but “want to be with me.” WTF???

Who can realistically expect a healthy, committed relationship under those circ**stances?

And, for the record, there are scores of great black men out there who don’t have the look. These brothers want a shot at one, JUST ONE, sister who is willing to let him show how much love he can give to ONE WOMAN.

So beyonce gets to roll around onscreen with every actor in hollywood and Jay can’t even look at another chic or he’s cheating. Women cheat all tha time when they flirt. What comes around goes around, women just can’t take it when it’s their turn.

like a lot of the men in the movie called Diary of a Tired Black Man, said…..it shouldn’t take that many times for a woman to find a guy that is willing to keep it 100 with her, men are raised to have no shame, yes there are angry black women out there but it all leads back to a man,…men running around lying to these women and trying to break them, females not making better decisions, all these bastard children…all of these leads back to men (absent fathers, bogus husbands, bogus boyfriends, etc…)..yes there are messed up females (but that leads back to a man or some sort)…..but anywhos of course men can be monogamous, I mean we see a lot of messed up things more in the black community because we only make up 12% of the U.S, so yea when theres only a small percentage of us, and most of that percentage is f’d up, of course you are going to see the more f’d up ish more….when it comes down to it its all about better choices….I dont know i find it hard for both men and women these days to keep it 100

its perfectly normal for a man to be monogagamous if he meets a woman that is worthy for him to make the choice to be., . . . u see men and woman are both equally polygomous/monogomous as each other. when women are looking for men who are worthy they often overlook the fact that they too are also under scrutiny as objects of worth themselves so if a woman,constantly encounters a man who is unfaithful, then she has not veto the right criteria to select a mate of worth. (eg women that always put men down and/or tar them ALL with the same brush is putting out (laws of attraction) that all she wants is that. men wit higher expectations dont want a woman who is going to put them down or run out on them at the first sign of trouble. the polygomous aspect is the biologyical nature that both men and women have were if they arent getting what is required from a mate they start to look elsewhere (this is apparent is the animal kingdom,eg, if there is no alpha male, then all the beta males try to mate with the alpha female, who in turns picks, who she mates with, even mating with multiple partners to ensure a good genetic match.so the key is the good match and the understanding that there are two people trying to work together(compromise) not one person trying to do everything the other person thinks they should be doing to make tthe relationship work.ladies must remember that we too are also looking for a worthy mate we just search differently.

No No No only if you are not attracted to your so called friend……POINT BLANK END OF STORY…

I CANT BE WITH JUST ONE WOMAN AND I NEED WOMEN WHO WILL BE OK WITH THAT. WOMEN NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT IT SO WE CAN GET BACK TO HOW IT USED TO BE WHEN IT WAS COMMON FOR A MAN TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE! YALL THINK IM PLAYING DONT YOU? IM DEAD SERIOUS! ABRAHAM HAD MORE THAN ONE WIFE. KING SOLOMON HAD HUNDREDS OF WIVES AND CONCUBINES! JACOB HAD HIS TWELEVE SONS OF THE 12 TRIBES OF ISRAEL FROM LIKE 4 DIFFERENT WIVES. IN OUR NATIVE LAND IT WAS COMMON PRECTICE FOR A MAN TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE. SEE THATS ANOTHER THING THE WHITE MAN HAS STRIPPED US OF HERE IN AMERICA BORTHERS…..THE CHOICE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE!

I can’t. Not at this point, I’m too young. Thats why I kept it honest with my girl and we’re in an open relationship.

I find women to have emotional problems making them more likely to cheat or drive a wedge between their relationship. not all women but most women. I have worked at a residential home for trouble boys (coming out of jails or court odered to stay there)as a superviser for 6 years. after the home closed i ran into most of the kids in town we talked and to my discomfort all of the women from clinical ,nurses, to regular staff most of the women where married some single ..THEY ALL HAD SEXUAL CONTACT WITH THESE RESIDENTIAL KIDS from ages of 17-21 these women went home to there husbands and spouses with secrets THIS IS A TRUE FACT NOT MADE UP from that point i said to my self damn women can not be trusted. WOMEN if your reading this and your man is not having sex with you or stop paying you attention. or you are not have sex with him or not paying him attention……you are cheating or he is cheating so leave him or her alone and move ON.

men don’t cheat
but boys do
turning 18 does not make you a man
it makes you legally responsible for your actions
females who date males over 18 that act like boys are asking for trouble
date real men and leave the boys alone if not stop crying about it
grow up

it dont really bother me anymore that a lot of men are unfaithful, it used 2 but now i realize that im young an i dnt need 2 worry bout bein faithful either…maybe my mind will change l8er

yeah.. but i bet ya yall wouldn’t want ur wife sleeping with other men.. cuz’ there are countries where women can have more than one husband… check ya facts

It is a Western European religious figment of coercing men and women to be monogamous. If monogamy worked properly, then how come people still cheat?

Pockets of Africa and the non-Christianized Middle East understand that 10,000 years of man leading and being polygamous works for reproducing human life.

Think about it: do you think that men would naturally have thousands of sperm in a life time and women have only A FEW HUNDRED eggs for a reason? I sure as hell do.

And I don{t want to hear the ad hominem rebuttal of “Well God doesnt like that” or “Only a REAL man wouldnt champion that”.

Religion is a man-made phenomenonal figment that controls the imaginations of human sheeple.

I feel that if you are a person that knows they like a multitude of women then don’t commit. I have no problem with a man thats honest about no wanting to be monogamous. It’s possible for a man to be faithful but most act now and think later after they’ve lost their family and half their income and they’re standing around watching their kids call somebody else daddy.

AntiFeminization well said …..I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENTS

First I have to address Abiola’s comment that staying monogomous for the rest of your lives is not impossible. I’m 24 years old and I have never cheated on any woman I’ve ever been with. But just as much as women claim that all men cheat I’ve been cheated on just as much by women. See we need to stop dealing in generalizations and get to the root which is the individual. Abiola. If every man you have messed with has cheated on you who is the common denominator in each relationship….Wait for it….wait for it…..it’s you. There is something in you that is attracted to certain men who do that. What are you truly looking for in a man? Get yourself together first before you start blaming the entire male gender for the mistakes of the few.

my goodness…marriage is a fu$king joke! we waste my time…if hes not cheating, it will be in my mind that he might be or could be…..so its whateva!

whoever ask this question is stupid that’s all I got to say on this.This is a dumb ass question.All this question is really saying is the females are f**kin ignorant of the psychology of man that’s all.And if a man ask this question then he is more dumb for asking because you know whats the deal.

A man is as faithfull as his options…..

Why do neither beyonce or Jay were wedding rings? I mean I can understand not wearing them in maybe music videos or photoshoots.. But why don’t they wear them just on a regular..i.e when they are out together at events or basketball games.. I just don’t understand.

I HAVEN’T MET A MAN YET WHO DOESN’T CHEAT, THAT’S WHY I CHOOSE TO BE BY MYSELF. I HAVEN’T BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR FIVE YEARS, AND THAT IS BY CHOICE. I WILL WAIT UNTIL I CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO DESERVES ME JUST AS I DESERVE THEM. I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON A MAN THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH. AND I WOULD LIKE THE SAME.

HOLD DA &)&* UP!! Ask the right question first! Can men AND women be monogamous? Get at me when you start asking fair questions vs. giving women a soapbox to b***h about men. Sorry ladies, but we have complaints about you too in this area and its not right to put ALL this on us. Women cheat too. At a regular frequency as men. As a Venusian Artist. *Wink*

women do cheat too, but i wonder how many men stay in relationships with women who cheat and if some turn a blind eye to serial cheating like a lot of women do.

Everyone has will power. The question is how much willpower does each individual have when tempted by the opposite sex? Its so hard to be good and so easy to be bad!I agree with Brooklynbadboy – however
a man or woman is as faithful as his or her options!!

Men only cheat because society tells women that we do. Most men who are in a relationship are doing it because they just want to deal with one woman.Woman give men enough bull that one’s enough if you’re in a relationship.And if he does cheat it’s usually just a one night stand with a siren type of woman who knew he was involved in a relationship anyhow.Most men will step off from a woman if she tells him she’s got a man.But that’s not the case with women.They want what someone else has.It’s the BEAST in them.

Yes, we can be monogamous, but in order for us to only have eyes for you, there are some key actions women must do in order to keep our interests..

1. STOP letting yourselves go!!! Yes, that’s a shallow statement, but it’s real. The problem with women is that once they get their man, for whatever reason, they slack from their workouts/activities, and start getting lazy and sloppy. It’s a double edged sword that says to us men, “She doesn’t care about herself, therefore, she doesn’t care about me, so why should I not turn my interests elsewhere”? To the men, though, I don’t suggest you cheat, just LEAVE!! You’ll be less likely to get your car keyed with a Dear John letter than for her to catch your John-SON in some other chick.

2. Stop getting so absorbed in other things so deeply that you forget about us! Yes, we all have our goals, ambitions, and aspirations, but if you can’t find the balance to keep us around, just break it off and stop wasting our fukkin’ time! Nobody wants to be on anybody’s back burner, and you women are worse at waiting on someone, so don’t trip on point two!

3. Show us that you have your own mind, and stop listenin’ to mama’nem! Mama means well, but as a grown ass woman, she should know when to mind her fukkin’ business!

4. Learn to know when to blur the lines between giving us space and asking us to give y’all that “me time”! Too much “me” time is giving us permission to prowl other women. Once again, we don’t want to feel like we’re in limbo.

MEN CAN BE VERY MONOGAMOUS WHEN THEY ARE GROWN UP MEN LOOKING FOR FULFILLMENT IN A RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE WORTH THEY’RE TIME AND EFFORT YES MEN CAN BE FAITHFUL BUT ITS MEN WHO ARE OUT THERE DISGUISED AS FAITHFUL MEN BUT REALLY ARE PLAYERS, PLAYING WITH PEOPLES LIVES AND HEARTS. AND FOR WOMEN TO ALSO SAY THAT MEN ARE THE ONLY ONES CHEATIN IS WRONG AND DIRTY, CUZ SISTAS HAVE A GOOD MAN AT HOME RATHER CHEAT AND ACT A FOOL THEN BE REAL WOMEN SO MEN ARE NOT FULLY TO BLAME FOR NONE OF THIS.

Wait a minute!!! We wouldn’t let ourselves go if all the life wasn’t sucked from us by men who can always go and do what they want…we have children to raise..some have disabled children…don’t you know that a woman who puts herself last is a good woman??? Now if she were to take all the money and go get her an outfit and her hair and nails done instead of making sure her children and man are fed and the bills paid, then she would be looked at as a ghetto fab, no good, trifflin’, no excuse for a woman! It’s about balance people! Men, if you have a good woman and want it to stay that way, then treat her to some beauty time or let her do the things that make who she is. Women, keep being you no matter what but be faithful no matter what…do your best to not let yourself go but girlfriend only the haters can’t understand all that you go through. A good man will love you no matter what.

I’m reading a lot of posts about women letting themselves go, but what about the men who put on 50+ pounds and lets himself go?? You expect your woman to stick by you then huh? I am sick of this double standard. You act as if you are all buff and in the best shape of your lives. Face it, as the women let themselves go, SO DO YOU!!! And women will stick by your side and love you no matter what. It’s you shallow, pea brained men who can’t do the same.

LOL.
1. Keeping ourselves up! Well if men would learn to be men these days than maybe we would have time to keep ourselves up! Learn to to do your part no matter how busy your days was at work or home! Women has just been doing what we do and that is everything! Dropping the kids off, going to work, bringing them to some type of practice, picking them up from school, cooking when we get home, then pamper yall! When in the hell does a man pitch in! Men don’t even believe in opening the door pulling out the chair so you can sit first! Or maybe he just wasn’t taught by any one but that is no excuses!
2. Once again if men would just stop and see the daily schedules of everyone in the house than we wouldn’t get so absorb with everything but you! Learn what needs to be done and just help out so we can gave you more quality time!
3.All women don’t listen to family especially when we have our own minds!
4. Most women that is not into the girlfriend thing or girls nite out would just prefer to be at home with family or some quiet time alone. But not much of that because she will be into her man and he will be her bestfriend, lover, husband, father of her kids, protector, provider, he is and will be her everything!

People are just getting together for the wrong reason and we don’t communicate! That is the bottom line!

I say the following knowing full well that a black man can’t tell the average black woman anything…

Women, you know why men can’t be monogamous? Because (1), you all take sex too seriously, and (2), sex is too easy for women to get and too hard for men! So when it happens, its like overcoming a social-sexual obstacle that builds the male ego. Try “flooding the market” and maybe the value of sex will go down enough where abundancy will make it too “boring” for us men to chase. LOLOLOL
Seriously though, stop thinking marriage is the “end-all, be-all.” Between 51-53% of all marriage end in divorce…just look at Starr Jones & Juanita Bynum. Its just another thing you all take way too seriously.

THE BOTTOM LINE….. ITS A CHOICE.YOU ARE NOT A MORON.YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT.YOU AND ONLY YOU CONTROL YOUR THINKING AND CHOICES,unless your a puppet.NOT EVERY WOMAN SLEEPS AROUND.SPEAK FOR THE WOMEN THAT YOU DEAL WITH.AND IF WOMEN ARE HOES AND YOU AS A MAN SLEEPS WITH THEM,WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU? GROW UP,BE RESPONSIBLE.

A man can be monogamous i fel they are rare jewels. I pray that i can meet some one like that. Getting tired of running into the men that have their tounges out like a dog. We need more men that are monogamous to me i think that is sexy to me.

Put God First and Family second… Men and You will not cheat because you know it’s against God… Sorry to get serious… But it is what it is. Woman, also!!!

The question should be can women be monogamous.Women are the ones having all these damn kids by different baby’s daddies. I don’t even holla at woman on here unless they get at me and I’m impressed by what I see or read. 9/10 women on here have the same tired cliche on their pages of “I’m just looking for friends”. To a promiscuous man that more than likely raises his antenna but to a monogamous man like myself or any other that’s a turnoff. Intent like that is so vague and obscure. It can mean anything and in most cases it means “friends with benefits”. Women think they’re slick. I’m not hating but just be real and upfront. I’ve chatted with these women who have gospel music or references on their page and have a sweet innocent smile but some of the first things they bring up is laced with sexual innuendo. We are in an age of sexual liberation for women, as they say “ladies are pimps too”. They’re not just sleeping around with men but with other women too! Some try to have their cake and eat it too because their sorry ass nigga allows that type of inexcusable behavior.

lol I had a father that thought like some of you men leaving comments talking about “women shouldn’t themselves go” or “women need to keep a mans interest” He had a stroke and was all messed up physically and couldn’t walk. All those sexy fine women left his ass and the one he cheated on and walked on, who he felt wasn’t petty enough was left to take care of him. All I have to say men (not all of you because some are real men) keep on, in the end half of you will be alone hunting women that don’t want you and the ones that would have been there won’t want you either. Looks don’t last forever! And another thing what about how yall look. some of you missin teeth, got a big ass beer gut, an uncomfortable ass build, and are not attractive. Why should women take you flaws and all and while you look a mess and think you should have a model chick. If you guys who do work out get sick and and cant; and you gain weight or you get into an accident and get severly burned ” would you want a women to turn away from you because of it?” Think and grow up! This is so sad and many of you wonder why some women are turning from you and seeking comfort somewhere else. NOt all women are deserving of a good man but the one who are, some of you use and abuse, making them not want you at all!

I agree with courtneyR men and women both need to take this AIDS and other diseases to heart and playing with people feelings isn’t right so if both genders keep it real from the start OR if the fire is dimming then talk it out and maybe you can work on having an open relationship keeping your game tight and not bringing anything to the homefront. I recently went through this with my man and instead of letting my good man go who had a past track record, I let him know this can go either way seperate or have an open relationship. Fortunate, he got smart and decided to keep his game tight. Trust me and so am I until we say I DO then the morals will play a factor but until then if it’s meant to be it will and if not then always trust in GOD to guide you through.

Hell no some men dont want to be monogamous. If 90% of men can and choose to be monogamous than I’ll grow a beard between my breasts until then women keep checking up on your man

because its more than likely he trying to keep u and some other troll because some women don’t give a fk if a man is in a relationship or not.

As long as they can get some meat on the side its all good so much for sisterhood lol…

I’m a damn near 50 year old plus sized brotha and these women are still loving me. Us men place greater imphasis on our looks than women do. Nowadays it’s all about swagger. I see ugly niggas with pretty women all the time. Also money can mae a fat gut, a f**ked up grill, and other amenities that lead to a brotha looking extremely rough around the edges go by the way side. Lil Wayne is practically a sex symbol to women, and for what really? His looks? Women make up reasons to find a guy attractive. We’re more simplistic, if it’s ugly it’s just ugly.

I really get tired of hearing and reading things like this. At some point, you have to get tired of it and do something about it. This argument can (and does) go for men and women, but because this is about men, I’m talking to the ladies. The focus is always on what men do, but has anyone ever looked within themselves to see what they are doing to avoid the situation. Monogamous men are not as rare as people make us out to be. Where people mess up is when they think of a man, they think of the same person. If you ask women about the man that cheated on them, they’ll all describe the same person. They’ll describe the type of man that sounds like a player, that talks like a player, and looks like a player. I’ve always been taught that if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck… well it must be a duck. So if women avoided those qualities that broke their hearts, don’t you think that at some point those players will step their game up. Most of us are not naturally players, we’re just men trying to handle his business, but the only way to get any attention is to play the part of a player. And, yes, men are sexual creatures. God created us, and every other male animal, that way in order to reproduce. The same way God created every female species to decide which male to mate with. Let’s face it, half of what we do is to get women to notice us. We’re going to “use what we’ve got to get what we want”, whether it’s money, looks, or charm. If women were to look for qualities that are not noticed within the first two seconds of meeting someone, that would weed out all those players that leave women heartbroken. I’m not saying to look for broke, ugly-assed morons. Look for something that’s a little deeper than what rims he has, what complexion he is, or what pickup line he used. You’re not making minute rice, here. Have respect for yourselves and stop giving these guys 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances. And for GOD sake, stop letting women tell you what men are thinking. You wouldn’t let a man tell you what you really mean, so why let a woman do the same. And again, PLEASE, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, stop blaming everyone and everything. Look within. Love yourselves and have standards.

WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER SEEMS TO BE WHATS GOING ON NOWADAYS BOXING IS THE NAME OF THE GAME AND EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KEEP THEY GUARD UP EVEN AFTER THE BELL RING “PROTECT YA SELF AT ALL TIMES”- MILLION DOLLAR BABY

yes some men can be monogamous it really depents on the person and it depents on the relationship also but some woman are the same to so to me it works both ways

I believe that there are men out there that can be in a monogomous relationship. They have to make that choice though….you can’t force anyone into a comittment and i think that’s where most people go wrong. Many people push others to commit.
YOu cant point fingers at just men concering this matter, that wouldn’t be right. I have seen many females go after men that were in a relationship simply to prove to themselves that they were “better” than that particular mans woman.This is about the lowest level a woman can bring herself down to, it just shows the lack selfrespect and pride. I have seen men try to manipulate women that were in relationships as well. It’s a grimey game and people have to be very careful who they choose to be with.

To me cheating is a sign of weakness. To run around and mess with peoples feelings is demeaning and selfish. If you know you cant be faithful to one person don’t waste their time… as simple as that. If a man or a woman chooses to have multiple partners then go ahead knock yourself out, but don’t manipulate , use and betray someone just to fullfill your own urges. In my eyes that kind of decietfulness is morally wrong.
My verdict is YES men and women can be monogomous if they choose to be and keep an open line of communication.

32newlife it’s “depends” and “women” moron. and tankhammers what the f**k you doing writing that loooooooooong ass comment, what the f**k is wrong with you? you must have NO life! lmao and if you read that you comment you lame as f**k too!

I’m responding to TankHammers. I agree with a lot of your observations, however, I think it’s unfair to assume that all women who have been cheated on is because of the choices in men that they have made. All cheaters are not the “player types”, I know from personal experience. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me with his ex-wife one week ago. I am not a woman who is turned on by flamboyant type of man to begin with. I look for a man who has character, integrity, and strong sense of values. But, even still I have been cheated on despite my best efforts to choose someone who is worthy of my affections. I do believe that men can be monogamous. But I also believe that the trends of the day and the cultural norms of society have infiltrated into our relationships. It’s not “G-Style” to be faithful. That’s not “pimpin”. As a woman you almost have to hope for the best and plan for the worst in these types of situations. I was single for almost a year before I even thought about entering into a relationship because I hadn’t met anyone that I felt I could have a serious committed relationship with. Above and beyond, women must maintain and sense of dignity and grace regardless of the actions or indiscretions that men may participate in. Whether it be becoming over indulged in pornographic material, strip clubs, or entering into an extra curricular affair. We must maintain our standards, love ourselves, and TRUST that what God has for you is for you. Can’t nobody take that!!! I’m not holding on to the nothing that’s not holding on to me. I can do that because I know the quality of woman that I am and that God will bring the right man who will value and cherish me. Until then don’t allow bitterness and resentment to reside in your hearts. Let yourself heal so that when the time is right you can love again.

Hey, if you don’t want to read a “loooooooooooooooong ass comment” don’t read it.

NORAJEAN, I agree with you 100%. I didn’t mean to group all women into one category, and there are men that do wrong and don’t fall into the player category. I do think we both agree that we both need to look from within before blaming others though.

AL-HAQ, take yo’ ol grammar police Al B UnSure looking azz and click the “x” back into the 80′s when swollen lip light skin brothas was in. Thanks for sharing the knowledge Tank, that was well written brotha.

95% of men, no. its that special 5%, [which are usually not black men] that actually can, and try to be monogamous

lmao……lol very funny pretty boy jerome…hahaaaaa…..ole Al B. Unsure lookin azz…HA

Yo Peeps! The deal with being monogamous is knowing yourself very well, and where you are in life. Generally speaking, you gotta live out those wild oats before you can recognize, appreciate and humble oneself in the blessings a monogamous relationship offers.

being manogamous is about what you truely in your heart want to do in a relationship. a grown person will do what the hell they want when they want and we as “humans” have the ability to think before we do unlike animals. the question of the matter should be can people be monogamous because women cheat just as much as men. youve seen maury povich. mama’s baby daddy’s maybe but yes i do believe that men can be with only one woman and be true it may take alot of hard work and effort for some but its possible he just has to be completely ready and not just thrown into a situation he know he cant handle

The answer is NO! :D

Dear _chiick I think you need to read a little more stats . knowing that they are not 100% perfect , but most will say that 55 to 60 % men and 45 to 50 % woman cheat but most women wont tell but men will at times

I don’t, never have, never will. So my answer is yes men can be monogamous. I mean cheating is so stupid to me, i feel if you wanna f*ck with someone else just be single and mingle. If your in a relationship and someone else catch’s your eye and you wanna act on it call off the relationship first. I despise cheaters, men and women the same. Buut thats just me lol

I think in order for a man to be monogamous, we would need a woman like Vanna White…pretty, has a job, knows how to spell, and doesn’t say sh*t! LOL

WELL I WAS ONCE TOLD BY A MALE FRIEND OF MINES THAT ALL MEAN CHEAT…IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME. HE SAID EVEN THE BEST ONES CHEAT EVENTUALLY. HE COMPARED IT TO EATING THE SAME FOOD EVERYDAY…EVENTUALLY U WILL WANT SUMTHN DIFFERENT. WELL I DID’NT WANT TO BELIEVE IT BUT PPL LET’S LOOK @ MOST RELATIONSHIPS…THEY DNT LAST & IF THEY DO UR SIGNIFICANT OTHER MAY BE GETTING SUM ADDED PERKS SOMEWHERE ELSE. HEY THAT DON’T MEAN THEY DON’T LOVE U…THEIR JUST A GREEDY *!@%!! GOD PUT MEN & WOMEN ON THIS EARTH FOR EACH OTHER’S COMFORT & PERSONAL NEEDS…BUT WHO SAID LOVE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!

I think men can be Monogamous. I think that if a man cheats, its because he is not getting what he wants at home, at that is the case, he should get out of his present relationship before he desides to cheat. I hate cheaters, especially men, because it makes it hard for the few good men like myself to have any chance at meeting a nice woman. But dont forget woman cheat just as much as men do, so dont try and make this a one way question?

Hmmm a man would need a Vanna White type? So in other words: white so she is afforded the opportunity to earn more money and looks horrible in pants and may not be able to string two words together to make a sentence unless some mystery person put the letters out in front of her. That sounds like only a shallow and egotistical man with no real value and self-worth nor any earning capacity of his own would want that type. But I assure you if that man doesn’t have sufficient equipment and isn’t giving good lovin’ on demand and isn’t giving that woman everything she wants when she wants it he will find himself kicked to the curb.

Damn,we have a man on blackplanet that makes sense.Thank you BIGGUYNORTH for making sense.If you are going to cheat,call off your relationship or better yet,stay single.Whats the point of acting like a coward or scallywag with your tail tucked between your legs coming up with stories?It would be easier to tell the truth.Not all men cheat.Alot do,but not all.And you know what,if hes the type of man that you think dont have swagger or whatever you call it,sign me up.Oh,I know one,my brother and he sure isnt ugly.All the girls were after him,light,dark,white,didnt matter.He picked very carefully.He had supper fine chicks and dropped thier asses right back were they came from.He always liked the simple woman.A woman like his mother.Im not saying it isnt hard because alot of men and women have no self respect today at all.But all of us dont compromise to what the world says to do.Every man dont like fast ass.Some do want substance because they are substance themselves.No sir ey bob.I’ll wait ..

i tried… i’m like 1 for 20 right now

I think any man “CAN” be monogamous. However, I think the question is more so “Do they WANT to be”??? That is a relative question and varies from person to person.

I believe a man can absolutely be monogamous. But he has to be ready to be that way for a person. A lot of times we try to settle down before we are really ready just because we THINK we like someone or because its convenient at the time. Most times when a man cheats its because he is not fully satisfied with the person he is with (this can go for women too). Maybe she doesnt really meet the ideas he has in his head of the type of him he could fall for. Thats where we go wrong because instead of cutting the relationship off once we realized these women dont exactly do “IT” for us, we try to stay because of the sex, companionship, or becuase she is simply a good women but we try to searched for what we are looking for all at the same time, Greedy right? Now you might say “well if she is a good woman, then whats the problem?” well the problem is JUST BECAUSE YOU A GOOD WOMAN, DOESN’T MEAN WE ARE MEANT TO BE. You have to find the RIGHT good woman. You know, the type of girl that excites you and makes you long to see her when you away…the one that can cook, and dont mind doing it. the one that you can have crazy conversations with and enjoy it….the one that dont stay mad for too long or hold a grudge when ya’ll get into it…the one that works the HELLLLLL out of you in the bedroom and makes you want to get up and get her some WATER afterwards cause YA”LL both thirsty…the one that thinks about you and does little things for you too, just because and out of the blue…yeah…you know….That one.
But not only these things, ya’ll have to have a real bond, chemistry. Either way, its always better to just leave than to cheat cause you dont want to hurt people. TRUST ME its a horrible feeling. And Lastly, A man has to be secure and complete within HIMSELF to be the same to you.

A male friend of mine once told me all a man needs to cheat is Time, Space and Opportunity. I added to that depending on the male and his character will determine if he does it or not once those there things are aligned. I have heard people say that a man cheats because there is something he is not getting at home. I can not fully buy into that because I have heard men say, “yeah I have a good woman”. Those same men turn right around and cheat on the women they just said they knew were good. That makes no sense at all. Knowing how virtually impossible it is to find a quality mate why would those men put their realationship in jeopardy with their “good woman” just for a quick roll in the sack with Miss New Booty? I have heard men say their “good women” will not do the same thing a “freak” will do. My questions to those men is well how do you know that have you ever asked her? They have all said no they didnt. So ummm how can you say your women will not do what a freak will do if you have never asked her to do it? I know men that have justified cheating because it was just sex and not love. I promise you, your lady will not see it that way. Even though sex has nothing to do with love. To most women the fact that you slept with someone else is betrayal and they think how can you love me if you slept with her? Its crazy really and at this point I have no clue if a man can be momogamous. It would be nice to think that yes there are some men out there that can be but I am not sure how realistic that is in 2009. So I will just say I hope that if a man knows that he has a quality women that he would respect her and their relationship and not cheat on her. I will also say the same in reverse as it applies to women who have found their version of a “good man”. I think if you treat a person how you want to be treated things can work but the minute you start taking the other person for granted drama will soon follow. Male or female cheating is never the answer.

that’s a hard question to answer, but i will say no i don’t think so men are to hung up on looks the ass to pin point. my ass is fat and the attention i get is so sexual, they married or have a baby moma and still try to kick it with me, so i say no, hell no they can’t be monogamous.

If a man wants to be monogamous he can it’s a decision only he can make though if the person in his life completes him it would be very easy to do. But if he is not finish running no way but if he is done yes it is possible

it’s amazing how more women are trying to answer this question than men. Look at a man’s history. I’m mean look at the bible and the men who fell at that time. Really, rather you women like it or not men are not made to be monogamous. Women got it all wrong. And no matter how many times we tell the women how it really is women continue to understand it there way. Which in turn leave us men to keep doing what were doing. No ladies don’t mean we dog’s or were not good men because you’ve went after a few yourself knowing we got a women. But it’s okay on yall’s part but we dog’s on ours. But that’s a diffrents posting. I’ll say this again to all women reading this. From everyman in the world, (the reals ones that want to be truefully) it just a sex thing with other women. That’s all. We don’t care for them like you, we don’t scarfice for them like you, we don’t give them our hearts, mind, soul, MONEY and body to them like you them chicks don’t really know us like you do. Yea,,yea,,it’s hard to sallow this concept but it’s true. I got a good women and wouldn’t trade her for anything in this world. So ladies, ask your man to break it down to you. Women think sex is what a man wants from a ture women. NOPE.. Sex is just what we crave. But it ant going to keep us. A classy women, a women with things that guy wants is what keep us. Once again Sex is like spending money. IT COMES, AND IT GOES.

can WOMEN be monogamous and not f***k up, when the realize they have a GOOD man, which is rare?? dats the real question….women talk and talk, and complain about men being “dogs” and all that, but then they’ll f***k up, when they have a good man on their shoulders…..at this point, its just like “who gives a f***k!!!! just live ur life….if ur lucky to have a good woman, or man, just be happy and dont F***k up!!!! lol

well according to simple evolution biology, humans are not monogamous at all. we are a polygamous, promiscuous species that are forced into monogamy through social status. the only thing that makes us monogamous is because we can “choose” even though technically we are not, that is why men and women cheat on each other. Its not because they don’t love each other, men are polygynous (need more than one woman) and women are promiscuous. its that simple.

Funny thing is how yall girls act like ya’ll don’t want it to. Champagne-73 says hell no well if her and others weren’t showing their assets on their pages guess married men and baby mama having guys wouldn’t be hitting her up all sexual like! S**t I just wanna hit it after looking at her page got four ass shot pics!

I damn sure think men can be Monogamous! Women think that just because we have a dick and 2 balls between our legs that we walk on all fours, but that’s a lie! Some men might try to used their dick as an excuse, but not me! I’m very in love with my lady, and where going through some s**t that I thought I would never have to go through again, but we stick by each other no matter what. Where both faithful! And it’s going on 2 years! It’s the longest I’ve ever been in a relationship, and I’ve never been happier! Abiola I want you to think about something? If women goes out and finds a man at the club? Guess were es going to be? The club! If she finds him somewhere in the streets? Most likely he’s going to be in the streets! Now I got a question for the real men out here! Can women be monogamous?

@syrexxg.. of course women can be monogomous.again,it goes back to how your are raised and what values are put into from your parents.some people grow up with both parents being committed to each other.so as a child,thats what you are going to want to do.why,because its special.nothing special about not truly being able to call your man or woman your one and only because they are sneaking around.its a betrayal when your believed to be in a committed relationship not sleeping with anyone else.
another reason,its absolutely NASTY and down right gross to be swapping bodily fluids with different people.Hell,im grossed out when I go to someones house,go into thier bathroom,and I dont see baby wipes on the back of the toilet.what im saying is,it doesnt matter how cute or gorgeuos a man or woman may be.you still have to be a clean and decent person.I find that the people who play of of thier looks to get what they want,usually are the ones that end up to be the nastiest.sorry,im a monogomous type of female and I demand the same from the man that im with.if he cant understand that program,i dont want him.In todays society,both men and women of all races are way to loose.Having a std,cheating,or possibly passing on a death sentence is not ok.ill keep a lock on mine until i come across a decent man with some common decency about his life and cares just as much about his life and body.until then,ill keep making money,play my playstation 3,go to museums,go on vacation,whatever.If you think that your that special,you wont be out here giving your body to a man because he finds you attractive.call me prude and old fashion.but im good..

As a man I think absolutely a man can be monogamous once he meets a woman who is willing to play “the role” that is described in the bible, which is allowing your man to listen to God for guidance and then make the decisions while trusting his judgement as far as where the couple and/or family should go. What I have noticed is so many women want to be “independent women” and are not willing to allow a man to be a man. Sure women are just if not more intelligent but that is not how we were instructed to perform relationships. At that point he say’s f**k it because he already knows your not wifey material and continues to hit and look elsewhere.

I agree with SyrexxG, because… it’s a two way street. If you aren’t willing to compromise and sacrifice with someone, then WHY are you in a relationship “(Sex, Money, Benefits, Children, Opprotunity)” anyway?
What ever happend to LOVE?

Sure. It just takes work. Monogamy isn’t a one-way street. Not to mention it depends on who you have and who much you don’t want to lose them.

@ DaRealReckLess- 93%? LOL

Sure we can. Every man walking is NOT a dog in heat. The biblical reference is a great starting point for success in a relationship; however, how many follow those thoughts and ideas.

If you want your man to think about you and nothing else but you, do this. It never fails. KEEP YOUR APPEARANCE UP, ALWAYS ALWAYS BE A LADY AND DO NOT PAY HIM THAT MUCH ATTENTION. Treat him well, don’t get me wrong, but do not act like he is your everything or the intimidation will push him away. Put God first, not the man He put in your life.

Of course. I have never cheated on any of my past girlfriends and I am 33yrs. old. It takes time, energy, planning and being dishonest at times to cheat. You can take all of that and put it back into your relationship but it has to go both ways.

Does religious preference play a part in monogamy? Your thoughts…