I think men and women can be friends. All of my friends are guys. I have never wanted to date any of them because they are not that cute to me. It is easier for me to get along with guys because they are so simple and laid back. I

YUP JUS AS LONG AS ONE DOESNT TAKES ADVANTAGE! SUM FRIENDSHIPS BECOME SOUR IF YALL WERE HAVING SEX, THEN THE OTHER PERSON GETS INVOLVED WITH SUMONE AND WANTS TO BE MONOGAMOUS WITH THAT PERSON! IF YALL “FRIENDS” LET IT BE THAT!

MIS-communication is where most screw up. Set CLEAR boundaries at the onset.  

No.

Yes men and women can be friends.  You have to make sure you don’t get too close.

I BELIEVE they can, but when BOTH involved date people that are LOSERS, they compare notes and when their friendship DEVELOPS in to DEEPER and DEEPER(Freda Payne’s old song), then they will fall in LOVE and get their FREAK one….otherwise  it’ll be KNOW as friends with BENEFITS……. 

I have always had a lot of female friends, well up until my soon to be ex-wife caused me to get rid of them all. Of course I was attracted to pretty much all of my female friends and they to me, but that’s just nature. I didn’t think of them as targets, in most cases they ended up trying to go there with me and not me with them. So I disagree with this article in that all men are going to use friendship to get to something else. None of my relationships, well except for one started off with a friend. Coincidentally or maybe not, the best relationship I ever had was with the girl that was my friend first, too bad I didn’t recognize that until now though. I always like the beauty, the presence, touch and wisdom of female friends. The flirting is cool too. I know men and women can be platonic, but if you get into a relationship with someone that’s not very secure, you may want to limit your contact with your friend of the opposite sex. As long as I was single or just dating, my female friends never caused any issues, but after marriage or engagement it was a nightmare. It’s both my fault and theirs. It’s theirs for trying to monopolize my time and saying all of the off the wall things about sex and mine for trying too hard to not lose the friendship and repeating what was said to me. If i ever decide to get into a relationship again, I won’t repeat what my female friends say to me and I’ll also make sure my girl’s time is her time and no one else’s time. 

 men and women can be friends as long as the woman doesn’t want to sleep with the man.

 Men and women cannot be friends, never works out.

yes !! as Long as they are not Having sex !!!! 

plz  thats jes a syke  i only tell gal that so they wont b appose 2 me talkin dirty jokes wit them & in tha end u still f**k em this iz how all men feel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkavJnfcNXA

 If you date men because they are ” cute ” you have some serious issues anyway.

nothing wrong with friends with benefits.  i am fine with that. 

NO! there will always be some sort of attraction there from one or both parties. each of my exes had (attractive) female friends and female best friends, and i learned that a man in that situation will always have to divide his attention between his lady and his female friends. never again will i date a man with tons of female friends or a female BEST friend. i shouldn’t have to compete for my own man…

 Of course.Im not attracted to all of my male friends and they arent all atrracted to me either.Personalities clash too alot.In order to consider someone a potential mate you have to be somewhat on the same page.

A lot of guys are attractive and charming but that doesnt mean i want them.I respect the boundries of friendship..It would be no different if i was friends with a married man.It comes down to respect.

 Yeah, the attractive female best friend thing would kill me too.I think its just easier for m to have friends from both sexes because i dont look at a lot of men in a lustful way..That doesnt mean i would trust all of his pretty female friends and for the love of God dont let them be sleezy..lol.Now i know i’d never go for that!

No…….. Never and if anyone believes otherwise then they’re delusional and naive. Everyone has said the samething one or the other will want more. Its just not possible and for those that believe in a possibility Kill YourSelf Now and save yourself from the LIE and heartache. One of them want to F*CK and one day when you F*cking up that friend will be there for their sole purpose to make them FEEL BETTER… Wake up people humans are not meant to be monogynous.

No, nah ,hell no!!!! Man and women cannot be friend if they are in relationships! Example: I was amrried to a man whom I known for 3 years. We dated then married. I found out (though is cell phone) he had female friends, one who was our surpervisor on a job we shared. Well to cut to the chase, he cheated, we’re divorced. Wehen I ran into the old supervisor again, she told me that she and my husband had slept together several times, no love just friends. Thats just my personal experience. To love someone, you have to trust, but keep your guard up. Don’t be fooled. Because if it don’t look or feel right…IT AINT!!! I don’t trust no female around my man without me there!!!! 

THOSE FILTHY WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN BE GETTING MAD AT YOU BLACK MEN WHEN
YA’LL DON’T WANT TO SLEEP AROUND WITH THEIR NASTY FLEA BITTEN MICRO
WORMS INSIDE OF THEIR CONTAGIOUS BLOOD CELLS INFECTIOUS BOOTY HOLE
TRIFLING BEHINDS (those white/foreign women will spray out those foul
odors like those stinky skunks will do) IN OTHER WORDS WHATS THAT SMELL.

ONE THING ABOUT A FILTHY IGNORANT DOG SMELLING HOE IS THAT THEY TRULY
DON’T HAVE ANY SHAME IN THEIR GAME.

THOSE WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN
WANT YOU BLACK MEN MONEY JUST AS MUCH AS YA’LLS OWN BLACK WOMEN WANT
YA’LLS MONEY (in other words they are not only gold diggers to you black
men they are also ya’lls grave diggers to) MEANING THEY WILL RATHER
DATE THOSE BLACK MEN THAT HAVE SOME LIFE INSURANCE ON HIM SELF SO,THAT
WHEN YOU PASS AWAY IN THAT FILTHY DOGS BED YOU WILL BE LEAVING HER
GREEDY WHITE SKUNK SMELLING BEHIND SOME MONEY OF YOURS TO CONTINUE TO
LIVE OFF ON.

Do You Consider Soledad O?Brien A Black Woman?

SHE
IS NOT BLACK BECAUSE ONLY BLACK CAN MAKE BLACK SHE IS JUST ANOTHER
FILTHY FLEA BITTEN MICRO WORM CARRYING INSIDE OF HER CONTAGIOUS BLOOD
CELLS BOOTY HOLE NO GOOD WHITE WOMAN (in other words we as black people
know a black woman when we see one) THOSE MIXED/BIRACIAL WOMEN ARE NOT
BLACK WOMEN THEY JUST WISH THAT THEY WERE (in other words those
white,mixed and foreign women are jealous of those black women that they
will try and act black or try and say that they are black but,they are
not even close to even being black) BLACK IS NOT BORN HALF DOG (in other
words those black women don’t grow fleas,ticks and lice in their
hair,those black women are not born with that filthy dog hair) THOSE
WHITE WOMEN AND THOSE MIXED/BIRACIAL WOMEN ARE VERY EVIL AND THEY BOTH
ARE SO,STUPIDLY JEALOUS OF THOSE BLACK WOMEN.

THOSE FILTHY
WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN WILL SPRAY OUT THOSE FOUL DOG AND SKUNK ODORS WHEN
THEY ARE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX WITH THOSE BLACK MEN SO,TO TRY AND MARK THEM
AS SOME FILTHY UNCLEAN ANIMALS JUST LIKE THEY ARE (those other race of
women are of mange flea bitten filthy parasite carrying dogs).

THOSE
WHITE PEOPLE ARE ABOUT THE BIGGEST FOOLS THAT HAS EVER WALKED THE FACE
OF THIS PLANET EARTH (meaning that they are so,unintelligent and
so,unwisely and whom are so,deficient in judgment,they have very poor
judgment) THEY WILL TRY AND USE GOING TO COLLEGE AS A COVER UP ON HOW
STUPID THAT THEY TRULY ARE (a college education can not cover up a
person stupidity) THOSE WHITE PEOPLE AIN’T NOTHING BUT,A BUNCH OF
IGNORANT AND FOOLISH CLOWNS THAT DOESN’T KNOW A LACK OF CRAP.

THOSE
STUPID WHITE PEOPLE HAD YOU BLACK PEOPLE THINKING THAT THEY WERE
SO,INTELLIGENT BECAUSE THEY HAD WENT TO COLLEGE.

TRUTH IS:

A
PERSON CAN NOT GO TO COLLEGE OR RATHER HAVE A Ph.D AND SAY THAT THEY
ARE “INTELLIGENT” BECAUSE “INTELLIGENCE” IS A GIFT FROM GOD WHICH MEANS
THAT YOU HAVE TO BE BORN WITH IT (in other words those white devils are
not smart at all they are to ignorant to be smart) THOSE DEVILS ARE DUMB
BECAUSE THEY ARE CREATED BY SATAN THE DUMB DEVIL.

A INTELLIGENT
PERSON WOULD KNOW WHAT BEING FILTHY AND NASTY IS AND THOSE WHITE WOMEN
ARE VERY FILTHY AND NASTY WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE.

TO
BE INTELLIGENT IS TO KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG OR OTHER WISE YOU ARE
DEFINITELY A DUMMY.

THOSE BIRACIALS/MIXED PEOPLE ARE ABOUT THE
MOST IGNORANT PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD BECAUSE OF THEIR CONFUSION
IN LIFE (in other words they are more dumber than a black person and are
more stupider then a white person).

THOSE BIRACIAL PEOPLE DON’T
REALLY KNOW WHO THEY ARE THEY JUST KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM AND THEN
THEY THINK WHY DID IT EVEN HAVE TO HAPPEN.

I HAVE STATED ONCE
BEFORE THAT THOSE BLACK WOMEN ARE DUMB AND THOSE WHITE WOMEN ARE STUPID
WHICH MAKES THEM BOTH IGNORANT.

I HAVE STATED ONCE BEFORE THAT
THOSE BIRACIAL WOMEN ARE MORE DUMBER THEN A BLACK WOMAN AND MORE
STUPIDER THEN A WHITE WOMAN BECAUSE THEY ARE MIXED WITH BLACK AND WHITE
WHICH MAKES THEM EVEN MORE IGNORANT THEN BOTH THE BLACK WOMAN AND THE
WHITE WOMAN (in other words those biracials people had thought that they
had the best of both worlds,meaning that they thought that they could
speak on black and speak on white because they are mixed with both
races) BUT,MY STUDY HAD DETERMINED THAT IT WAS NOT TRUE AT ALL.

THOSE
BIRACIAL PEOPLE ARE ANOTHER WHOLE RACE OF OTHER PEOPLE WHICH IS CALLED
“MALADO” THOSE SCIENTIST HAD TO DISCOVER A NAME FOR THEM SINCE THEY
WEREN’T FULLY WHITE OR FULLY BLACK (in other words all colored people
that become involved with any other race of people and have a baby then
that baby will be considered another race of baby/child/people) WHICH IS
CALLED A “MALADO”.

THE TRUE DEFINITION OF ?MALADO? MEANS
?DIRTY?.

ONLY BLACK CAN MAKE BLACK.

IF ANY BLACK PERSON
EVER MAKES A BABY WITH ANOTHER RACE OF COLORED PERSON THAT BABY WILL BE
CONSIDERED A BLACK BABY BECAUSE BLACK IS POWER (in other words only
black colored and foreign colored people can make a “BLACK” baby
together).

BLACK IS POWER.

THOSE STUPID SICK IN THE HEAD
CRAZY PSYCHOTIC BORN MENTALLY DISTURBED LUNACY WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD BE
TREATED JUST LIKE THOSE MENTALLY DISORDERED FOOLISH ANIMALS THAT THEY
ARE.

ONE THING THAT YOU BLACK PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO TRY AND
UNDERSTAND IS THAT WHEN YA’LL ARE DEALING WITH THOSE RACIST WHITE PEOPLE
YA’LL ARE ACTUALLY DEALING WITH SOME STRAIGHT UP DUMMIES (sh!t all of
those white people are racist to me and regardless if you black men are
pissing inside of those white women mouth,in other words they still can
not be trusted).

I STILL CAN NOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU BLACK MEN
DIDN’T KNOW THAT YA’LL WERE SLEEPING AROUND WITH HUMAN DOGS THOUGH?
DIDN’T YA’LL EVEN TAKE A VERY GOOD LOOK AT THEIR HAIR OR RATHER SMELL
THE FOUL ODOR OF THEIR BODY.SHAME ON YOU BLACK MEN FOR SLEEPING AROUND
WITH THOSE HALF HUMAN FLEA BITTEN DOGS.

THEY BE SAYING COME ON
TRY IT WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEY ARE BORN HALF HUMAN AND HALF FILTHY DOG

THOSE
WHITE PEOPLE ARE ABOUT THE MOST FILTHIEST AND NASTIEST PEOPLE THAT
RESIDES ON THIS PLANET EARTH BECAUSE THEIR UNHEALTHY NO GOOD BODY ARE OF
THOSE FILTHY FLEA BITTEN ANIMALS.

THOSE FILTHY DOG AND SKUNK
FOUL SMELLING WHITE PEOPLE CARRY
LICE,FLEAS,TICKS,CRABS,HERPES,SYPHILIS,MENINGITIS,GONORRHEA,PARASITES,LARYNGITIS,HIV/AIDS,HEPATITIS

etc….AND THOSE FILTHY FOUL SKUNK P*SSY SMELLING WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN
BE TRYING TO TRICK YOU BLACK MEN IN THE SAME BED WITH THEM WITH YA’LLS
CLOTHES OFF (in other words how funky).

THE REASON OF THOSE
WHITE/FOREIGN PEOPLE CATCHING THE VERY FIRST INFECTIOUS VIRUSES AND
DISEASES THAT COME OUT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE BORN HALF HUMAN AND HALF DOG
(in other words they are nothing but,some contagious disease carrying
flea bitten animals) THOSE FILTHY WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN BE SPRAYING THOSE
FOUL ODORS FROM THEIR BEHIND LIKE THOSE CATS AND SKUNKS BE DOING FOR THE
REASON OF THEM SMELLING LIKE ANIMALS WHEN THEIR LEGS ARE WIDE OPEN (in
other words damn whats that smell)?

usfg 

Yes, not all men are out to just have a sexual or intimate relationship with women. 

For you and tishreni, I’m not understanding the issue. My best friend is a female and she’s ALSO married. Her husband and I consider ourselves “brothers.” Her and I met at a time where she was single, I wasn’t. She had a HUGE crush on me and expected me to leave my girl for her. I told her I couldnt because “she would never be 100 % comfortable because if I left my girl for her, she’d think I’d do the same to her.” She understood and played the role of my friend. Year later, the roles reversed…she had a dude, I was single, and crushing on her super hard. She hit me with the same. So we just remained cool and 8 years later, we’re still just really good, close friends despite our past. We’ve NEVER touched beyond a hug. I think she’s beautiful, but I’m SO happy that she found someone who makes her smile. And he’s a good dude so I’m 100% cool with where I am in her life.

Basically, it all boils down to discipline. I have a lot more than I would care to have, lol. Trust me when i say its overrated.

I DO think men and women can be friends ONLY if they are disciplined enough. Emotions are primal…natural. You can’t control how you feel. But you CAN control how you react to them! 

I think it all boils down to discipline and respect. ONE, respect for the friendship. And two, discipline in the areas of HOW you react to your emotions.

I DO have a lot of female friends. I talk to maybe 3 on the regular. I’ve had sex with none of those 3. I’ve DEFINITELY caught a feeling or two, and I made it known like “aye…I’m not trying to ruin what we have going here, but I’m feeling something a little bigger than friendship. But I think its best if we remain where we are. I just needed to get that off my chest.” I put it out there…I’m at peace with self, and I exercise discipline and self-restraint whenever I see them again and get the urge to strip then butt ass and give them a 15-child producing load right then and there! lol

Now, i won’t front and pretend I’ve never slept with a friend. I have…on several…SEVERAL occasions. And usually the end result is a new, “non-mutual” feeling that usually turns s**t sour when I don’t reciprocate what they now feel. Its not I don’t respect them, its just that my emotions weren’t tied to the act so there was no other feeling there to develop for me. We had fun, got physical, and walked away with different perceptions of what just occurred and DEFINITELY with different intentions. Sex for me, is NOT a foundation for a relationship. I cant count how many times after we were done, I’ve heard “you know you’re my man now right?” Ha! Jokes on you!

Its a matter of discipline like I said. Sex is and always WILL be primal. It was once simply a tool for pleasure and reproduction. Thats why you can’t control what stimulates or arouses you. But like everything else, it’s essence was corrupted when religion and social standards came got ahold of it and placed an emotional and moral stigma on it.

yes Im a pretty female and my best friend is a male.   We have been friends for years. He does everthing for me always and without ever asking for anything in return :O) he’s a ture friend and the only male I trust . Ever other guy I meet they just all want to have sex with me and stuff , but not him he treats me with the up most respect . 

Nope   Nope   Nope

 Yup!!! It all depends on the boundaries that are set during the friendship! My best friend is a male and has been in my corner for the past 11 years!!!!

 Yes indeed we can be JUST friends…..Boundaries have to be set from jump and we stick to them….

Its often times tricky because men tend to approach women from a physical/looks standpoint and women dig men from a personality/character type of stance…

 I agree….Anyone who cant just be friends with the opposite sex is a sex crazed hound who has ZERO self discipline…If you find yourself wanting to bang everyone you know then something is wrong with YOU! 

I think so but let’s not confuse this with sex 

It depends on the origination of the relationship and the level of attraction between the two.  If they began as “friends” under the guise of not being available at the time of introduction then the future is going to be problematic.  If they were friends from the start and would’ve remained friends even if both were available then the chances are good they can have a platonic relationship. 

If for a minute you can flip the script and think how you would react to your man (as you stated above) he does everything for his female friend always. 

Honestly, I would have a serious issue with my man going to another woman’s house hanging light fixtures…not happening.

I’m confused by all the posters that state, “You have to be discipline or boundaries must be in place”.  

The type of discipline relating to this topic is not one that a normal friendship will need or have, because they suggest that YES opposite sex can be friends, however if your dyck gets hard or your dussie gets wet you have to gain control over the sexual tention that is developing or you have to get your feelings under control.  This seems to me like the friendship will be staged, and rest assure…there will be a time when both will be vunerable and submit into their feelings and sexual arousal. 
   

 Past and PRESENT experience shows me that men and women CAN NOT be platonic friends. This is what happens..either the man wants more(sex) and the female is just fine with the “friendship” level. She may be married and just wants someone to talk to about the male perspective or her troubled marriage. Or the female wants more(relationship) and the man doesn’t ie; he’s married, engaged, or has a girl.(keep in mind these men may still want the sex).. Unless both are SINGLE, these types of relationships can VERY dangerous. Single men don’t mind “going there” with a married women and will say all the right things to “get it”.. Now, if a women finds herself forming an emotional bond with a man thats “spoken for” she has set bounderies,maintain self control, and for Gods sake DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM, Caution-people are attracted and driven to what they CANT have, so being a “good girl” won’t deter him infact he’ll want you that much more( Don’t do him) ..Also don’t upset the apple cart. His significant other hasn’t done anything to you so don’t hurt her or his family… I attract 3 types of men; Men over 40 who have never been married and never had children, Light bright and close to white or blue black, usually never in between and Married Men. I have close relationships with 3 married men, NONE of whom I’ve had sex with…Why, because marriage is a sacred institution in my eyes, I have enough to explain when I got to heaven, but being a home wrecker wont be one of them and I always let these men see that I value their friendships and respect their spouses too. Now, on the flip side,I recognize as good man and should these women make the mistake of leaving their husbands, after the divorce I’m standing by just in case, but…. I wont dare be the cause of their break up.

All I have is brothers so I really only know how to make friends with men. For anyone to be able to be friends there has to be some type of attraction and not necessarily sexual but mental or spiritual too so when this happens between people of opposite genders it may lead to more. Boundaries need to be set but if you’re lucky you meet a good man you have no interest in physically and you’re set. Both my besties are men (who I have noand never have been interested in whatsoever outside the strong bond we have friendship wise) and when they’re dating I give them their space because I’ve been in some interesting situations in the past  with jealous girl friends.

Sometimes it is hard for men and women to be friends. Somebody will eventually catch feelings and get hurt.  However, i think it is depends on the people and the boundaries of their friendship.

So what you’re saying is that this husband if FULLY aware that at one time you and his girl would have been/slept together…and is now fully embracing you as his ‘brother.’

you proved my point…that there’s usually a current attraction, or there was a past attraction there. i don’t give a f**k if my man never touched his female friend; the point is that he WANTS/WANTED to. why the hell should i have to be second place because he would have gotten with his friend if only she would have let him…

it’s not always about the actions of a person. anyone can pretend. but if their heart is somewhere else, they were never yours to begin with.

I find that the only males that want to be just my friend are 100% gay. It’d be nice to have a heterosexual male friend. Guys are so much fun!

i don’t think so if it’s possible then i can say it’s extremely rare to see that

I got a friendship with a good looking female for 18 years at least but i don’t really have friendship feelings for her, she wants to keep the friendship and I wish that she was my wife and she knows it.

if you ever run out of topics to talk about on a date, bring up this topic (in a fun and humorous spirit – don’t get it twisted and get all serious). Women and men have totally different views on this topic. but we have to categorize the kinds of dating statuses men and women in a co-ed friendship have:
 
1) Both are single. In this case, it really doesn’t matter. if they both remain just friends with no mutual attraction, then fine. if one of them catches a feeling for the other, then two grown folks can handle their bidness.
 
2) One of them is not single. Common sense says that a single friend should scale back the friendship and give the boo’d up friend some relationship space respect. However, some people don’t get the memo, and at some point crosses the boundaries in some way. for instance, i commented some weeks ago about a single chick who had a boo’d up dude as her “friend.” She relied on him for all kinds of man duties. She even called him at 2 something in the morning to help her fix a flat. The man’s girl got mad at him for getting up out of their bed to go fix her flat. And the single chick got mad at his girl for getting mad! lol, now how the heck does that make sense?
 
3) Both of them are in relationships. This can work if both respect each other’s relationships and avoid scenarios where they’re out and about as if they were a couple. But, as we see with the case of Governor Arnold, two married “friends” can be secret lovers behind their spouses backs for years. I’ve known of countless examples of adulteries starting off as two boo’d up friends getting too cozy.
 
In general, cheating usually starts off when people in a relationship take on friends of the opposite sex. Although most women tend to treat male friends as friends, men usually treat female friends as delayed opportunities, whether they admit it or not. Of course, some women do likewise, too. I knew of a sista who straight out told me that she did not approve of her man having friendly relations with co-workers of the opposite sex, but said it was perfectly fine for her to have co-worker friends of the opposite sex because “women can handle that better than men.” She went on to tell me how those same male co-workers would often joke with her about having sex with her, and she would reply with sex jokes herself. lol, ooh wee! All is fair in love and war indeed!

WTFE!!!!!!!!! I had plenty of attractive/ugly male friends, and I never once slept with or caught feelings with any. The only time I did catch feelings was because I already wanted him and just said we can be friends first then talk about something in the near future. Other than that, it didn’t even cross my mind. Only weak minded young girls can’t handle that s**t. Because if I wanted my friend, I wouldn’t be with you. Plain and Simple! 

im in that same situation now

my man has a girl bestie and sometimes i question wether dats good or not and back in the day he had a big crush on her dats y he became best friends with her when they were younger but she never saw him like that.. 

what if you’re not the one who wants to bang the opposite sex, but it’s the other way around? not to sound c**ky, but it’s kinda hard when every guy you meet wants to f**k you instead of just being friends with you. you can’t control a man’s dick reaction to a beautiful woman…

Damn girl, I hope you have a plan B b/c the minute he even thinks she’s giving him the green light he is gonna dump you. Sorry to be so blunt but that’s what it sounds like.

Yes, 100% because that’s what “secure” people do. We don’t even look at one another on a “boyfriend/girlfriend” level. Before they met, even when weren’t seeing anyone, we slept in the same bed, chilled on the same couch under the same blanket, and NOTHING ever went down. its called “discipline.” For those who DON’T have it, then yes, its easy to let your feelings get the best of you.

 So its safe to say that you don’t trust any dude? Is it NOT the same when females sit and drool all over Idris Alba and everybody else in front of their dudes? I mean, its safe to say that women too, lust over others.

You’re only “second place” because you want to be. If he’s with YOU, how are you not his priority? Now if he’s spending more time with is friend, getting off the phone with you to talk to her, etc, then yeah, I can see your point. But not every man is weak enough to act upon his desires. Give a few of us a little credit here.

How is their heart somewhere else if they’re focusing all their time, attention, and efforts on you? I’m not understanding how that works.

 That’s common with women. Its NOT that they ever had intentions on EVER being your friend. Its just that women have made it difficult to get the booty using the “I wanna be your dude” tactics. So as women have adapted, so have men to the more “I just wanna be your friend” role. And they’ll play that roll to get you to open up and confide in them. And they’ll play off all of that until they finally catch you at a vulnerable moment. Then they go for it.

Women have to learn to be more fluent in their development. You can’t alter yourself once and feel like you’re back in the game. Gotta keep changing on the fly to avoid the bulls**t

 How is that a “staged” friendship? You can’t always have everything you want in life. Hell, I want a million dollars. I could work my way up to it by robbing banks…but the “discipline” in me keeps me waking up every day to punch the clock. Am I “staging” my work ethic?

So you can honestly tell me that you’ve NEVER had a male friend that aroused you from the way he hugged you or spoke to you?

THOSE FILTHY INFECTIOUS DISEASE CARRYING AND PASSING HOES WASN’T GOD’S MISTAKE THEY ARE  SATAN’S PURPOSE (in others words satan is a filthy devil himself).

YOU BLACK MEN THAT CAN’T SEEM TO GET THE BLACK WOMAN THAT YA’LL ARE LOOKING FOR ARE ABOUT THE MAIN ONES THAT BE JUMPING OVER THOSE GATES LOOKING AROUND FOR THOSE FILTHY FLEA BITTEN BUGS IN THEIR HAIR DOG AND SKUNK FUNKY FOUL SMELLING WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN TO SLEEP AROUND WITH (in other words those black women don’t sleep around with every race of men that they see) THEY ARE NOT AS DISEASE PRONE AS THOSE OTHER RACE OF WOMEN ARE.

AND ALSO YOU BLACK MEN THAT WILL SLEEP AROUND WITH THOSE FILTHY FLEA BITTEN MICRO WORMS INSIDE OF THEIR CONTAGIOUS BOOTY HOLE DOG AND SKUNK SMELLING WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN ARE THE BLACK MEN THAT SHOULD REALLY NOT BE TRUSTED BY THOSE BLACK WOMEN BECAUSE FROM WHAT I CAN SEE YA’LL WILL SLEEP AROUND WITH JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WHICH IS CALLED BEING DISEASE PRONE (in other words ya’ll are some very filthy black men) SHAME ON YA’LL FOR NOT KNOWING A FILTHY FLEA BITTEN MICRO WORMS AND PARASITE CARRYING DOG WHEN YA’LL SEEN ONE.

THOSE FILTHY DUMB HOES WILL CALL YOU BLACK MEN DOGS BUT,YA’LL ARE NOT THE DOGS THOUGH YA’LL JUST BE FOLLOWING UP BEHIND THOSE FILTHY INFECTIOUS VIRUS AND DISEASE CARRYING DOGS.

THOSE FILTHY INFECTIOUS VIRUS AND DISEASE CARRYING AND PASSING WHITE/FOREIGN WOMEN HAS POISONED YOU BLACK MEN THAT SLEEPS AROUND WITH THEM MIND BECAUSE YA’LL DON’T SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO THINK BLACK ANYMORE.

usfg

Most times this is about lack of self-control and honesty, insecurities, and bulls**t all rolled up in one destructive relationship…I know that real co-ed friendships r possible, u just have to keep it 100, which is what a very large percentage doesn’t do.

Lol!

Wow

Wow!

Those were not true friends, true friends won’t want drama for u or for the one u love!

[...] you’re the type who attracts a lot of friends of the opposite sex, you may want to consider letting go of those relationships after you’re [...]

If you can’t be just friends with the opposite sex then you can’t control yourself. Sometimes men can make better friends than women so I can be friends with a man. In fact, one of my best friends is a man and no he’s not gay.

Well damn what if your male best friend is ugly as hell! LMAO!

Not Possible

People need to stop lying to themselves there is no logical way men and women can be “just” friends and that is because the “sex” part gets in the way.  If the woman isn’t not thinking about it be assured the man is or vise versa.  It’s just not possible one of ya’ll has sex on the mind, it’s human nature…duh!

I got a few chix that im so called “friends” with but i dont know how long thats gonna last.

Can men and women be friends??? Yes we can but men need to feed their female friends with long handle spoons like I do because first of all regardless there will be a level of attraction between the two and second don’t be that male friend who she views as a great listener when it comes to her man problems because I can careless about my female friends man problems because at the end of the day he’s the one that will be getting the pu55y not me.

i believe so

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hell naw!! men & woman cant be friends sooner or later somebody gon wanna hit!

In the past few years for me I’ve been able to become stronger in my friendship with men because I had to step back and work on me. I recognized that I had been a little bit on the I just don’t want to be alone path and God showed me that it was okay to be with just HE and I. After that journey, my identification with who “I” was became clear enough for me to accept a true friendship with the opposite sex without sex and attachments that were doors to a broken heart and never a wedding ring. Thank you or the gift of a great mind and sweet sweet sanity. Some of us DO eventually get our *stuff!* together. M.

It’s the truth.  Men and women can be “just” friends.  I have always had a lot of male friends, and not all of them have liked me in a romantic or sexual way.  A number of them yes, but definitely not all.  In turn, most of them I never looked at in that way either.  Sure, there is some level of “natural” attraction between men and women but to me..it honestly isn’t there in every male-female platonic relationship. 

Yes Men and Women can be JUST friends. have to agree with ambitious_balla and bakkbypopulardemand.

If someone has sexual thoughts about you,thats their problem.Its up to us to dictate and clear the air on what kind of relationship will be tolerated or not.If it cant be respected,its time to move away from that person mentally,emotionally.respectfully.  :)

Sad f**king truth. You just said it all in a nutshell without even really knowing what you just said. This proves that men and women CANNOT be just friends. It’s a natural feeling to be attracted to the opposite sex. Romantically, physically, emotionally, and sexually. With some friends these feelings are greater, and with some they are less.  To this day I just can’t understand this whole cross- sex friendship thing. Just be honest with yourself (which several of you here have). Why would you want to be “just friends” with someone whom you have (or will inevitably have) more than platonic feelings for? Men? Why do you feel the need to have female friends? Especially if you’re already in a relationship? What’s wrong with having a “boy”, a “dog”, or a “bro”? You wouldn’t have more than platonic feelings for them, would you? I would hope not. Women? Why do you feel the need to have male friends? ESPECIALLY if you’re already in a relationship! Hint: Men’s egos are much stronger than women’s and ESPECIALLY when it comes to other men. So unless your man doesn’t give much of a damn about you, is a dog, or has “female” friends himself, your relationship is set for disaster. What’s wrong with having a ”girl”? Or like the term back in the day, a “girlfriend”, or a “sis”? What’s the point of being friends with someone you’d want to (consciously or even sub-conciously) be more than friends with at some point? You’re just playing yourself and the other person. Men? Be honest with yourselves. You keep into friendships with women as RESERVE. By reserve, I mean 1) You hold on to that friend and play the field for that special mate. If things don’t work out with the other potentials, you’ve got her. And don’t worry, you’ll get her. Many Females, for some odd reason, tend to yearn for the male friend who gets around. And your being her friend makes her yearning stronger. 2) You’re in a relationship, but want your friend as a BACK UP. Another woman to confide in, have fun with, and inevitably sleep with if or when you’re lady isn’t there. By there I mean emotionally, socially, and sexually. You’d have your “friend” for that. 3) And lastly for the man here. The Bachelor. Friends With Benefits. NSA- No Strings Attatched. The status for a lot of men (and more and more women these days) that are either too afraid or too doggish and w**rish to commit to a REAL relationship. All of these “friends” are nothing more than reserve for when they get tired of or miss a chance at the other booty calls. And sadly these people never seem to find “the one”. They’ve dove so far into the world of casual and open relationships that they don’t know how to be with just one person anymore. And when they do find that person, God forbid they share their history with their potential mate because no self-respecting person would be want to be an item with them. So like I said, men and women CANNOT be just friends. And if you have to DISCIPLINE yourself not to be attracted, then that proves my point even more. It’s all reserve. Whether it’s staged or honest, it’s NEVER platonic. And like SimplyComplex_87said, if their heart is somewhere else, they were never yours to begin with. So ladies, if your man has female friends (by ffs I mean hanging out, communicating via phone, e-mail, Faceebook, etc. regularly, either TELL him to drop them or DROP him. Same goes for us men. If your lady’s talking to and/or hanging out with other men on a social tip, then she ain’t worth being with. Let her be their problem. And they ain’t gonna want anything other than what’s between her legs anyway. And to all of you men and women with multiple “friends” of the opposite sex, better try and pick one before it’s too late. You’ll be a 30something before you know it trying to find that special someone.

About men and women being just friends—yeah, it can happen, particularly if the man and woman in question have virtually NO attraction to each other whatsoever.  Yeah, there’s always the possibility for attraction, but let’s be real–you’re not gonna be attracted to EVERY man you’re close to, just like a man is not gonna be attracted to EVERY woman he’s close to. I’ve been friends with a single man for a couple of years now, and I had this major attraction to one of his good friends,who was also single  (we all used to hang out on weekends together for fun). I let said dude know I was into him, and he was briefly into me, but after I got to know him better, I decided that he wasn’t boyfriend material (he had WAY too many issues, especially when it came to trusting women, and was too damn arrogant, plus he had too many habits similar to my a**hole ex). Anyway, we ended up having a nasty falling out and no longer talk at all—I admit that I miss talking to him, but it is what it is, and I no longer give a damn anyway. I’m still friends with his good friend,though.

 @bp-417e685261bba47744b3c65cf70f83ca:disqus

Yeah, there may have been an attraction in the past, but, hello, obviously it didn’t work out, and he ‘s with you because he WANTS to be with you. SO what if he WANTED TO–THAT’S long ago in the past BEFORE he met you. He’s with YOU now—that’s all that should matter. Believe me, it’s a damn waste of time worrying about WHAT could have happened between your man and this person and tearing your hair out about it. You have
no control over how your sig nif used to feel about somebody else. Seriously,you can’t let your insecurities about WHO your sig nif USED to be with—let it go,please—that way lies madness.

Gatdamnit!  I ask again!  How many times is HB going to VOMIT these same articles??  It’s like digging in the trash for last weeks deposit, and throwing it on the table tonight saying DINNER TIME!!!!   And not expecting anyone to bat an eyelash about last weeks s**t being presented as if it’s fresh……

Vice Versa ,I totally agree with you leaving Sex aside with my mate Girl ,if we can laugh
together ,I am lucky to have good company ,Sex mean a little brake or reoccurring ,while
without involvement of Sex there is no gap in company feeling.

Yep we sure can!! Women use that “friend” crap if she’s NOT attracted to the guy but like his personality…ha!! Guys, we used that “friend” crap soo we can GET THE DRAWLS DAWG and not have to worry about dating or a relationship!!

Women used the term “friend” also if she’s just BANGING a guy and she don’t want to look like a s**t.

The only time i’m a real true friend with a woman unless we have NO attraction toward each other…. But there isn’t a straight brotha out here that wouldn’t bang with “friend” if the opportunity presents itself…especially if she’s fine/attractive!

I agree with most of the things u said bro. Before I got married, I had nothing but female friends. Most of them had boyfriends and husbands, and you know what, I could have slept with any without a problem. I was the one they could confide in, hang out wit, and tell all of their probs to. They were the same to me. They were backups when I didnt have the one I wanted to hookup with. When I got married, I let all of that go, the only females that will call my phone is co workers, and thats to a limit.

If you’re single sure, but if you’re in a committed relationship, especially a marriage I say no. To be a friend means you share life’s ups and down with that person. You confide and hang out with that person and I frankly can’t see that when a person is married. The friendship can be purely platonic but there is something to be said about a man or woman turning to one another for that support that they can’t seek from their spouse. I get along with the opposite sex better but I can’t consider them friends, acquaintances yes. If I did it would disrespectful to my partner. I don’t care how secure the person is, if your partner is crying and laughing on the shoulder of the opposite sex, it will make you check yourself and them to. I don’t know any man who would be completely comfortable with his lady complaining about him to another man…that includes relatives.

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I’m assuming you’re saying that you’re more disciplined now than you were 8 years ago bc what both of you attempted to do at different times was trifling, to say the least, but certainly not unusual or unexpected. You went on to say that, “She understood and (played) the role of my friend.” That statement alone speaks volumes. It seems that the only reason you two never hooked up was merely bc one or the other ‘happened’ to be in a relationship at the time, and the other was either happy in their own relationship and/or didn’t wanna hurt their mate. That’s a recipe for disaster, meaning that if and when trouble abounds in one of your relationships and the other happens to be single at the time, if your “friendship” happens to find itself in a position to comfort one another during that vulnerable time, you both are susceptible to get it “popping”. Who, in there right mind would want a mate that has a “friend” that, when times get rough in their relationship, they may lean on that type of “friend” for comfort and/or support. No sane person would.

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