Hmmm…Though many may be shocked, I think it is possible to be dedicated to your children, despite not being dedicated to your wife…Yet it doesnt always happen that way, though!

A good father can be a subjective term, but the relationship with the mother of his children is separate but still relevant to his relationship with his children. A perfect triangle between the Father, Mother and Children is what God intends. When we break any of the sides of the triangle for whatever reason (by any of the family members, not just the father), then the family is damaged in some way.

You can certainly seperate the two as there are plenty of men who are divorced or seperated that great fathers to their kids. Bad husbands are often critized as being bad fathers by the wife. In some cases this may be valid but we also know that in lot of cases it is not. So as long as you know the true facts of the relationship you can see whether the “bad” husband label hasnt been placed on his fatherly status.

I HAVE A FRIEND THAT IS A VERY LOVING FATHER(PRETTY MUCH) WAS THE MAIN CARE TAKER BUT SUKED AS A HUSBAND AND HE ALSO IS A GREAT FRIEND TO ME..(GO FIGURE)

The two roles are not the same, they’re completely different roles with different weight to each. Normally, the love for your spouse dies out, their poon is wack, they’re annoying,etc, but the love for your child is eternal. So right there, the two subjects, you are to care for, are going to get different treatment, naturally. 1 you got handed down to you, who many other dudes hit that before you, and 1 you made (your child) with your biology. You’ll never be able to weight the two entities the same because the woman is expendable. There will always be another, but your child is unique! You’d put much more care toward the child, or you should, anyway.
On another note, if that husband is bad, as in abusive, and the child is exposed to this, then he’s a bad father and a bad husband at the same time.

Great Topic HB…My Dad ( sorry daddy ) is the prime example of this, Him and my mom never really saw eye to eye … but he was and still is the best Father ever… Sometimes we put down our men for slacking in the relationship area and we forget to commend them for being good fathers because reality is there are soooo many bad ones out there. So Kiss Kiss to all the GOOD dads … even if some of you are sneaky cheating w***es… :)

Yes they can be good fathers…if they are in a good relationship with their children. Now as for role model I would have to question that.(JMO)

No. Being a good father means setting a good example and showing your children how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Parents influence their children more than anyone. If a man is a bastard boyfriend or husband even the youngest of children will pick up on that and be influenced by the behavior.

as a man that married way too young in order to “do the right thing” I know for sure that a bad husband can be a great dad. I stayed in a marriage that was going nowhere for the kids, until the point that it was hurting the kids also. Once me and my wife broke up and realized we had no business getting married that young in the first place we became a closer, better family. Like most of the men had said its two different roles.

my daddy, God rest his soul, is the prime example of this…when my mom and daddy got married they were young…my parent fought, fussed, and yes my dad cheated on my momma on numerous occassions. but that man’s love for me was out of this world. i was his only child and his daughter…he gave me the world and showed me so much love…he was my best friend. when my twins were born he was the best grandpa in the whole wide world…thats what my twins thought about him in they own words. so yes it is possible for a man to be a bad husband which my daddy was but be a great father and grandfather which he was to me and my kids. he maybe gone but i will always love him no matter what happened in the past. he loved me and the boys so much that before he died.

He might not treated the wife well or done things for her like he SHOULD, but if he’s there for the likds, protected them and so on, then that’s a feather in HIS cap……

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

Being a husband and father is 2 different things. Since all men don’t cheat and all women aint faithful, so ask yourself this. Can a cheating wife be a good mother? And that should answer your question.

These articles, usually written by women, are so thoughtless and borderline comical. The entire one-sided discussion ignores the fact that cheating men are cheating with cheating women. These women are not all single, naive love-seekers who are oblivious to their involvement with men in relationships. I would ask a similar question of women…can women who treat their men like crap be good mothers? The female victim-hood propaganda is just soooo old and tired.

Women who cheat, don’t just lose custody. So why would should a man? There is acertain degree of a problem though. A man who truly treats his wife bad, is not being a good father in certain sense. He may not realize that though.

Real_Bumbleclot … you have a point there, my brotha!!

there seperate roles marriage a husband and wife relationship is one where it is not to be sometimes marriages are over a long time before the cheating occured, loving your children and raising them is totally different the child’s needs are the priority and there no this is not working out and leaving the child situation thats accepptable while leaving the spouse could be the best thing to do.

The prior posts by BAMBURG & KENSEES77 states the case perfectly. One MUST consider the source, PURPOSE, MOTIVE & INTENTION of the authors in many of these posts written in these sensationalized, gossip blab rag oriented articles.

When the sex videos of Nas ex wife Kelis were in the ether, I don’t recall many women protesting her triffling behavior. Most were CHEERING the divorce judges award of outrages child support and alimony.

Rarely does one find a article whereby the ONE playing the VICTIM speaks to their OWN indiscretions; own up to their LACK of SOUND JUDGEMENT which tends to mirror their lack of CHARACTER.
Could this be the PRIMARY reason as to why the OOW birthrates and numbers of homes headed by SINGLE BLACK FEMALES are the HIGHEST among ALL racial groups?

It is long PAST TIME for those who wear the STRONGE & IN-DEEP-END-DUNCE label to take a long hard look in THE MIRROR…they just may find the SOURCE to many of their long standing problems.

The fact that this question is a question is preposterous! Women have got it in their heads that if a man is not perfect in every area he is therefore deficient in all.

Of course a man can be a bad husband and a great father, different love ,different responsibilities. To the poster that a cheating father shows their kids bad behavior, what behavior is a b***hy wife showing the kids?

That it is okay to be mean, cold and unkind to your husband? Question of the day are all those strippers out there being good mothers? They sell sex , some even do it for money. Should their kids be taken away? Denied custody?

Yeah I thought so…. just maybe the reason so many black women are alone is because they have no idea how to manage a relationship.

Unless there is abuse going on in front of the kids, a bad husband can be a good father no doubt! It’s none of the childs business what is the cause of a break, that’s why I get upset at the medias handling of public figures. All the children need to know is both parents love them and that they are not the cause of what’s going on.

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? [...]

yes for sure cause if i had a misunderstanding with my wife, that does not affect the love i have for my children.

I kind of agree with CrystalclearNY. These are two very different relationships and commitments. Both require a different sets of rules and responsibilities and both have unique consequences when things go wrong. However, I have to add that cheating is selfish and children can learn not to be like their parents when they witness the drama unfold and see the pain it brings.

What kind of stupid question is that? If a woman cheated on her husband this wouldn’t be a topic!

Bad husband, good father. Yes. My children’s father is a prime example. He spends most of the time that he isn’t working with them. Glad I choose him to be their dad and I think that is so much more important than him not being good to me when we were married. We are now free to show them that we love them and he has to treat his daughter like a princess so that her future ends up better than mine.

My god where do they get the articles from? It must have been a women who wrote this,right? Men have been having sex with multiple women since the beginning of time. That has nothing to do with his relationship with his child. Its the mother who interferes with the man’s relationship with his child most of the time, not his sex partners or mistresses. That’s something he chooses to do on the side, preferably for sport. Most men who I know that have sex with other women on the side are great fathers and husbands and could almost be role models if not for the women on the side. I think that mothers should pay more attention to how the man is treating his family than worrying about if he is trying to get some you know what cause chances are he either is or wants to get some, regardless of how she is or how she treats him. There are great beautiful women (black) all over the place. I think it would be unnatural if he didn’t. Thats my honest opinion don’t have to like it or like me at least I am real.

all of us husbands r not bad some of us wrk 2 or 3 jobs 2 help our family . we work hard ;=o]

Yes. A man can be a terrible husband to his wife or girlfriend, but a wonderful father.

While I ultimately think the best gift a man can give to his children is to love and respect their mother, I do think it is possible for a man to be a terrible husband or boyfriend and still be a good father to his children.

How do we know she was not neglecting him. So can a father who is possibly being neglected, or not getting what he needs from his wife still be a good dad? The answer is yes. He can. We need to be better dads. http://StatusBracelet.com show her you love her.

Sure, only thing I love more then new p***y, are my children. I admit to being a sex fiend, being that, never once made me waiver in my love for my children. One thing has nothing to do with the other. My kids never saw me with any other woman, until after I divorced from their mother and the only woman to ever meet them is my current wife of 10 yrs.

No woman’s sex is better than your kids. Of course a man can be a terrible husband or boyfriend and be a good father. One has nothing to do with the other

No doubt! A terrible husband can be a great father and many are. Many terrible fathers are that way because of the isht they have to but up with from the baby’s momma. This is coming from a retired “Captain-save-a-hoe” as my friends would say. I used to but it all on the man, now I see that that is not always the case. I’m strong enough to be a good father, although my wife, scratch that – the woman I am married to is a horrible wife – cannot even be called a wife in my eyes – but I’m here for the kids.

First of the question is bias and only pertaining to a man actions, but what about women who commit infidelity, what about females who are terrible companions. Adultery,marriage misconduct, and others devious acts between couples have been going on since the dawn of man and woman. True all the stories that have been exposed recently are only about men cheating, but rest assure there are cheating, lies, deception and much more coming from both sides of fence. It’s just that the focus is only on the negative actions of men. I’ve witnessed both side of the spectrum as some unfaithful spiteful wives are wonderful parents as well as some lying fallacious men. Society needs to get a grip and speak on some real worldwide issues instead of finger pointing and being so involved with unnecessary worthless gossip. As long as a child is loved and well taken care of by both parents. Does it really matter or make a difference if their relationship failed and went astray. It’s all about raising the babies……………..

i really cannot believe this is a question,now what if a woman is caught cheating,and the kids are still young,they still stay with the mom who cheated and ususally she is forgiven but not the dad,but men have been persecuted for years as bad fathers,and that is just wrong

Yes it is possible to be a great dad but a poor husband. I know of several situations in which a black man is being a excellent dad but he always treating his wife with total disrespect. I do not agree with the way they treat their wives but hey these men are taking out time to spend time with their children. The bottom line is that a man and woman may not be able get along in a relationship but their children should not be the ones who pay the price for their in-ability to co-exist.

In order to properly assess this question: Can a Man be a horrible husband yet also a wonderful father??? We must first consider does “A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. Webster’s Bible Translation A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. Weymouth New Testament A little yeast corrupts the whole of the dough.”

bible.cc/Galatians/5-9.htm

I met my ex-husband after divorcing my two children’s father. At that time they were ages two and three. This man who I considered “heaven-sent” had no seeds of his own and accepted both my children and I (age twenty-four, as a total package. Honestly, it was his willingness to provide for them sparing no expense that initially swept me, a destitute single parent, off of my feet. He was educated, and a highly decorated “Coast-Guard” Lieutenant. He worked a 9-5 and in his spare time he was a dedicated father to my children. He helped with homework, and during the summer months insisted that my children complete book reports weekly. My children adored him.

Through the course of our fourteen year relationship, of which eleven of these years were in matrimony, he became abusive toward me. Early on this abuse was mild and only verbal, consisting of multiple affairs, and degrading name calling, and a push or shove here and there. This abusive behavior would eventually escalate into a very dangerous and hostile environment. I condoned this abuse on the premise that this man was an exceptional father for my children.
I now realize after finally leaving with my children in tow whom were now ages 13 and 14, that this relationship was counterproductive. As a parent of a young girl and boy, I was a horrible example. I inadvertently taught my little girl that it was alright to accept abuse from a man, and I taught my little boy that it was alright to degrade, and belittle a woman. As parents we have to be the example, because unfortunately our children look up to us, and often aspire to be just like us. Be it good or bad.
Sawyer-Tyme
author of: An Untimely Beginning ***www.authorhouse.com***

It is very possible in my opinion for man to be a good father to his children ,but a terrible husband to his mate. Being a father to your children has more to do with playing an active role in their lives, while contributing to their financial support. The financial, emotional suppor,t and physical presence is important ,even if the marriage/relationship fails you are still parents of children that depend on you. Some men are not good husbands because they are not really emotionally mature enough to communicate with their companions effectively. Some of them seek “readily available” instant gratification from someone outside the marriage , instead of working on rebuilding the structure of their marriage. They are so busy complaining to friends and discussing their business with outside people that they fail to discuss their issues with the person that they should be discussing it with (their wife). Some are not faithful. They cheat constantly and their wife will never be enough, because they are not one women men.They will spend eternity chasing new p^ssy, until they are too old to get it up. Oops forgot abotu viagra,lol. It’s bcome too easy to simply walk away and throw the marriage away, while chasing greener pastures.

It is impossible to be a bad husband, boyfriend, or partner and be a good father or father figure to children. If being a bad husband or partner is the usual definition of an abuser, cheater, or emotionally unstable, then how can someone with these qualities be a good father figure or role model for children. Some people may believe that a man may cheat on his spouse but it has nothing to do with the way he treats his children but truth be told, the same weak character that allows a man to cheat is still present. He may not abuse the kids and may fully provide for them, but what kind of image does this show children. I know that the children may not see the infidelity or abuse, but that shows that the man is living a lie, one face for the kids and another for the wife.
If a man is in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in, leave it and still be a good father to his children instead of cheating or living a double life. And being a good provider and taking care of home is not license to cheat. Lets be real Dads!!!

I think issues a man has with his wife arent ones he’d experience with his children. So yes i think he can be a good father and a crappy husband! I think some fathers will have unconditional love for their children but not their wives. It isn’t the behavior i condone as far as cheating or treating the mother of your children like crap. I think in order for children to grow up to treat a man or woman in their life right they have to learn from example. So if a child see’s his father treating his mother like crap, whats that teaching him? that its ok to dog her out, cuss her out or step out on the relationship? So i am on fence with this one.

Yes he can. In a four year period I lost my mother ,father and two of my three sons. I was mentally destroyed . and any love I had left was pour in to my remaining son. I was not there for her mentally nor emotionally. I was and still am a great father to my child. His mother and I have gone our separate ways. We are friendly with no drama issues. Were both good parents

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

Lets be real. Sherri Shepherd isnt a good wife.

She had countless cases of unprotected sex partners. what kind of wife is that. Why should anybody else respect her, when she doesnt even respect herself?

A bad husband can be a good father,because behavior and of a character of wife and children are not the same to the man.

Comment right ‘below’ me….PERFECT!

That can sometimes be a YES/NO-type of answer; My mother and father were seperated, shortly after i was born, but they BOTH took part in that whole “custody thing”. (so, even though they never saw eye-to-eye, they still helped ME out.) I was told that RELATIONSHIPS do not always last, but GOOD PARENTING is in everyone’s blood….4 some odd reason.

JamesBryant04…agreed 100%. Some people value parenting and marriage differently.

But this begs the question that if we admit that one can be a good parent and be a bad spouse, will that open the door for more people to accept divorce or unmarried parenting easier….and is that why we don’t openly admit that one CAN be a good father and be a bad husband…or a good mother and a bad wife? Do we connect the two in order to keep the social agenda to push marriage?

I agree with a lot of the men on here. You can be a bad husband but be a great father because it involves two different relationships with two different people. As long as the father teaches his son or daughter the right way to handle relationships, not bad mouth the ex-wife every chance he gets, and shoow the kids love, there should be no problems.

THERE REALLY I NO SUCH THING AS A BAD HUSBAND OR A BAD WIFE BUT THERE ARE BAD MARRIAGES. A MARRIEAGE IS ORDAINED BY GOD AND ONLY GOD CAN PUT YOU TOGETHER, HOWEVER LIKE EVERYTHING ELES IN THE WORLD OR AT LEAST THE U.S.A. AND MINNESOTA PEOLE HAVE THRYED TO TAKE GOD OUT OF THE MIX AND THE HAVE PUT THE LAW IN HIS OR HER PLACE ( GOD) MEN AND WOMEN HAVE LOST THERE FIRST LOVE AND HAVE CONFUSED THE ROLES THAT GOD PRETESTONED FROM THE DAY HE SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT. NEVER EVER THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT BEING A HOUSEWIFE AND MOTHER IS A DEMEANING DEGRADING JOB AND MEN STOP DEGRADING WOMEN LIKE CALLIN EM B***HES AND MEN STOP DEGRADEING UR SELF BY CALLEN EACH OTHER NIGGA IT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD BLACK PEOPLE ARE PLAYIN IN THE U.S. OF A AND PLAYERS END UP GETTING PLAYED AT THE END SO JUST BE REAL AND FOR ONCE IN UR LIFE LIVE OUT A COMITTMENT U MIGHT JUST BE SURPRIZED

No, of course not..!

Kids watch what you do… not what you say.

Don’t you think those kids see dad eyeing other women while he’s in the park?

What the hell do you think he went to the park to do..?

If your answer is SWING… you’re right.

If you are separated or divorced that’s different, but if you are still with her/him… the answer is no… your actions are inconsistent with your stated values. That child will grow to resent you.

*SMH* (thinking to myself) “So this is what’s wrong with black people”

Looking at some of the comments that say “a man can be a good father and a terrible husband” is like saying not all KKK members are bad.

No. If a man cheats on his wife no he can’t be a good father because he is setting a bad example to his kids. Children look up to their parents as role models no doubt about it. Kids WATCH your example more than they LISTEN to you. REMEMBER THAT.

Just what are you going to to tell your kids about why you left their mother for another woman?

Or what about you telling your children to tell you the truth when you didn’t?

Oh yeah I can’t wait to hear your advice on telling your daughter to find that special young man or your son about that special lady.

Good Luck…..you’re going to need it.

Absolutely a man can be superior father and a miserable husband. Children accept their parents as they are unconditionally. The relationship that a man has with his children does not carry the same level and quantities of expectations that a marital relationship has. Then there is the question of will. A man may be more willing to be a father to his children than a husband to his spouse. The children are his. She may become someone else’s.

Loaded gun topic Hello Beautiful Staffers – We knew you’d get right back to it…

I love to play Devil’s Advocate but on this subject… its too easy. And far be it from me to judge anyone’s real life experience but I just have one question:

How can anyone (man/woman) who exhibits poor/selfish character/judgement be anything kind of role model for children?

Granted no one is perfect but if you can honestly tell me that a man who cheats on his wife can still be a great father, exactly what kind of “greatness” are you referring to?

To love and honor?
To cherish?
Forsaking all others?
In sickness and health?

Why is everyone always stuck in the grey area when it comes to how men and women relate, react and deal with one another? Clearly there is a right and wrong in a cheating scenario. Stop putting the extras on the reasons why.

If you cheat on your husband/wife you are sending a strong message to your children that it is okay to be selfish and disrespectful to the people you claim to love. Period. And if you can’t make your wife/husband whom you’ve chosen to hurt understand… how then can you expect a child to? Your reasons for cheating are your own … no one truly needs to understand why.

This is not to say that anyone who cheats cannot redeem their tarnished character, but again… that’s just more grey area

Men can’t cheat by himself, chances are the woman he is with is stepping out on the man she is with. And one just beat the other to the punch, We know soon as she get out of that hospital she will slip and slide, Most just want that baby for lock in purpose, And men don’t want any fake white looking women for too long, A real natural women will bump her out for some quality time. And a man taking care of his has nothing to do with the baby mom, one thing has nothing to do with the other so a man can and will always be a good father to his. Don’t get it twisted! Just take that fake white look off your heads and you will keep that man faithful longer. We men only want real and nothing fake white. All who’s guilty raise your hotcombs or your white styled wigs.

There are more women in America than men. I feel safe in that thought. Question, under a monogamous society, where the women out number the men, how do you deal with the women who are not married? What are they supposed to do? Become celibate? Seriously, what are they supposed to do? I know how we, black folks, dealt with it pre-european intervention. Either through matrilineal or patrilineal social circ**stances. What happened to that way of life? Oh, almost forgot, european intervention. Now you have these results in America. So-called audultery running rampant all over the place. What else can you expect under the european way?

its case by case

http://swaggtalk100.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/longest-married-couple-celebrates-86th-anniversary/

YES a “bad” husband can be a great dad!!! why wouldnt he be able to??That would be asking can a bitter wife be a good mother? A husband and a father are not one in the same. Just because he cheated or didnt treat his wife correctly dosent mean that he cant continue to be a good provider for the little ones…but as children become young men and women hopefully all parties involved can and will teach the little ones to make better decisions for themselves and THEIR LIVES.

ABSOLUTELY he can be

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? [...]

Of course a ‘bad’ husband can be a ‘great’ father. His abilities with the wife is separate from his children’s. So whoever that say men that cheat on their wives or wives that cheat on their husbands can’t be great parents is BS. There are PLENTY of unhappy married couples who stay together for their ‘childrens’ sake, which isn’t good, but it is what it is. But to answer the question. YES

:D

@ GOHARD757
I love your out look on life and people. I am a good father to my boys,but as far as their mothers go,who cares. A man can have a child by any ole raggedy woman and vice-versa but that has NOTHING to do with the child. That one chick sounds exactly like a woman who has been cheated on and dumped numerous times. Judging by her pic,I can see why.

Ok this is a DUMB question! Of course!

The bottom line is this: Ifthe relationship does not work out for whatever reason (with exception to him having inappropriate relationship/interaction with the kids) he has a right to be a partof his childs life. Often some women /men become bitter when the relationship ends, and out of spite refuse to allow the other parent to spend time with the child.In some cases the man may decide that if he’s unable to be with the woman that he does not want to have anything to do with his children. Children should not be used as a pawn for disgruntled parents. That child has a right to benefit from tjhe love that both parents provide. No court of law is going to refuse a man a right to be a part of his childs life, especially if he is providing child support.
There are men who are/ were terrible husbands.They did not appreciate the wife/ girlfriend when they had her. They may come up shport in their role of “husband” BUT they are exceptionally good /great fathers to their children.

CAN A HO BE A GOOD MOTHER..??? I THINK THAT IS & SHOULD BE THE BETTER QUESTION SINCE MOST WOMEN ON THE EARTH BECAME MOTHERS DUE TO HOING OR JUST FLAT OUT BEING A HO!

I like VishouzK’s answer. Anyone can feed clothe and house a child. What about teaching them morals? That is unless cheating, and what goes with it, is what you consider a moral characteristic you would like to represent and pass on to your children.

Thats the problem these days, just cause a man isnt happy with the woman who had his child/children, the only thing some of those broads have to get back at him are the kids, and ppl will take her side on keeping the kids away because of him cheating or leaving her. When the kid/s get old enough, their gonna know wassup, sometimes the female is hard to deal with, so i understand why some men stay away from their kids, which is sad. Bitter baby mommas need to grow up & allow their children to see & have access to their fathers, if he really is a bad father, it will be revealed on its own. If u cant stand to see the man, then thats when u make some kind of arrangments. Im just sayin,,,

A Good father would fight in court to get visitation rights to his children, a bad father would let it go, just as he let go of his relationship. thats y u gotta be careful who u choose to be ur childrens parent,,,i want kids, but im not ready to make that choice yet.

this is a really dumb question. absolutely a bad husband can be a great father. trying to compare the two is like apples and oranges. unconditional love is what a parent has for his seed from birth. you have to grow to love your spouse and can just as easily grow out of love. being a food parent is doing what YOU feel is best for your child to have a positive and productive future. There will be things that others including the other parent will not understand or agree with at that point of time but could pay off in the long run because when raising a child, its a longterm investment and process. now there are too many moving parts on how a man can be a bad husband, most are based off how his spouse looks at him. again. two VERY different things to try and say one has to do with the other… Does a bad fighter make a good lover???? right

Absolutely. Men and women are brought totally different from each other. While girls are taught to be nurturers (dolls, cooking, playing house, ect.) Boys are told to go outside and play. As a result of lot of boys don’t know how to be what women later want us to be, good husbands. Being a parent is different though. You as a parent love your children with all your hearts and depending on your upbringing you are going to teach them what your parents taught you. It was funny when I used to hear myself telling my kids the same things my father told me as a youngster. I didn’t listen to him but now I see It would have benefited me to listen. So yes a bad husband can be a good father in my opinion.

no bad hubby bad dad!

Ok, this is an idiotic question!!! You can’t judge a man being a dad because he chooses to cheat! My Dad wasn’t a faithful husband but he was a damn good father. He raised 4 kids. The kids have nothing to do with the relationship between mommy and daddy. The only thing that matters after they have split up should be the kids in common. “If a woman cheats does that make her a bad mommy??? “NO” We need to stop judging our relationships and getting things twisted when it comes to our kids. Just don’t bring those non-serious relationships around your kids, they don’t need to see us jumping in and out of relationships with different people. Kids watch what you do, and they learn from that.

To Vishouzk….It’s all in what you show and teach your kids! I have nothing but positive male figures in my family, from Daddy to cousins and they all have cheated at some point, but all of them have raised their kids either as single parents or from afar, they are all damn good fathers! We women need to stop using the kids against the fathers and encourage the dads to step up to the plate! Because kids could really careless about how much money they have or can you buy me some sneakers this week or how women women or men they have, kids just want to spend time with their dads! Stop bashing our black men and help them to be great fathers.

SOMETIMES THE MAN MAKE THAT WOMAN BITTER BY PLAYING WITH HER KEEP TELLING HER THAT HE WANTS TO BE IN HIS CHILD LIFE. KNOWING THAT HE REALLY DONT WANT TO BE THERE, AND IF HE COMES AROUND TO SEE HIS CHILD HE LEAVE AND THEN DONT COME BACK AROUND AGAIN FOR ANOTHER 2 -6 MONTHS, AND DONT EVEN CALL TO SEE HOW THEIR CHILD IS DOING AND THEN GET MAD AT THE CHILD MOTHERE, HELL YEAH OF COURSE THATS WHY SHE IS GONNA BE BITTER I MEAN COME ON WHAT DAM MOTHER WOULD NOT BE F****NG MAD ABOUT THAT AND ANOTHER THING HE MIGHT JUST DONT EVEN WANNA BE THERE BECAUSE SHE GOT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT THAT JUST MIGHT BE THE PROBLEM TOO ASS WELL IT’S NOT ALL WAYS THESE WOMEN FAULT I MEAN YOU JUST GOT SOME PETTY INMATURE DEAD BEAT f****NG DADS OUT HERE IN THIS WORLD THERE COULD JUST BE PLENTY OF OTHER LAME EXCUSE WHY THEIR JUST NOT APART OF THEIR CHILDREN LIFE THEN WANNA BLAME IT ON THESE MOTHERS THESE F****NG DEAD BEATS JUST NEEDS TO MAN UP

Response to Ms_Benjamin… I respect your comment. But showing and teaching go hand in hand… its that “lead by example” that children will always pick up on. For example:

How many of us had any kind of candid talk with out parent/s about life? Some of us might have had grandparents orchestrating that talk. But those talks were never about… do what we tell you and not what we show you… or DONT show you. And if you happened to be that kid who witnessed your parent saying one thing and doing the exact opposite… what was YOUR understanding? Yea, you thought they were a hypocrite admit it. That would be like a father explaining to his daughter what to expect when her husband beats her. Because that would be the example he taught her by his actions if he beats his wife… and vice versa for mothers and their sons.

My opinion is: Anyone who exhibits “bad” behavior to a spouse… man or woman cannot be considered a source of “good” moral fiber for a child. If the circ**stances of your marriage are not to your liking you have the MORAL obligation to your spouse and to your child to do the RIGHT thing. Hold yourself to a higher standard. We have to show them how to honor each other by … yea you guessed it.. HONORING EACH OTHER… =/

I do believe that people can and do change for the better, learning from their mistakes and moving on from them. This is not the argument. The question is… can a bad HUSBAND be a good FATHER? Arguable the same can be asked: can a bad WIFE be a good MOTHER? It isn’t about the circ**stances that cause him/her to be “bad”. It’s about whether or not if someone who chooses to be “bad” can be seen as good when it comes to being a role model for children. I say no.

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

Abuser – probably not. But a cheater? Yes, I think u can be a god-awful husband but actually a great father. Y? Becuase it’s optimal for kids to have both parents in their lives whenever possible. Just because a man can’t keep his dick in his pants does not mean he cannot love, show love, and have a great relationship w/his kids. I mean, in theory, how often r ur kids even involved or knowledgeable about their parents’ sex lives? Well, they shouldn’t b. N if they r then maybe the momma needs 2 explore her boundaries n what she’s sharing w/her kids. But a good father, it has nothing 2 do w/cheating on a woman.

i’v heard success stories. it’s refreshing from the typical “Damn the mama, Damn the kids” idealistic slaughter men have going on right?

SWIZZ BEATZ KISS MY ASS, HE WILL DROP OUT DRY HOLES ALICIA KEYS BEEEEELIEVE DAT NIGGA!!!! AND IM TEAM MASHONDA

its stupid ass articles and thoughts like these that prevent soooo many kids from knowing their fathers and their fathers to know them.. One of these things has absolutely nothing to do with the other..

Plain & Simple…Yes, He can still be a good Dad, even if he is a Bad Partner…Doesnt always work out that way, though.

I’m extremely disappointed in the sexist nature of this article. All focus and blame is being placed on men here, but it suggests that women play no part. If a marriage is going sour, it is often the combination of activities of both partners – which could include cheating, physical abuse, emotional abuse, down low behavior, etc. Men seem to be the focal point of too much that is going wrong in the world, but I know from experience that women often play as large or an even larger role in hurting the marriage. A good father or mother will step up and put an end to this behavior one way or another. Being a role model sometimes means having to work to improve on your own commitment. Other times it means having to step up and call it quits when the example that you’re both setting is all bad. I love my children dearly and I am not a saint, but you wouldn’t believe the things the wife did. I give thanks and praise every day to the most high for where I am and what I have and ask that I might be granted the responsibilities that I long to hold – including physical custody of my children.

Well, I’m no expert at marriages, in fact, I’m barely over the legal age to get married lol. But I strongly believe that a man can be a great father in spite of his status as a husband.. in most cases. But what a lot of people fail to realize, is that a man will only be what you sometimes allow him to be. I know, personally that women can sometimes make a man not want to be all that he can be because we tend to bash them down for the things that they don’t do for “US”.. And in our own selfish defense, we cause problems for the sake of our children. But in other cases, some men are ignorant enough to allow their own situations to overrule the fact that they are indeed PARENTS.. Rather it be other women, drugs, money, or even alcohol.. these are a few things that can cause not only a marriage to go bad, but also relationships with their children to go sour as well.. But nonetheless.. I believe that a man can still be a good father, it’s basically up to him to do so.

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? [...]

Ever see a man bite his wife’s head off for a simple comment she may have made, then cringe like a chastised puppy when his daughter makes the same exact comment?

Seems like much of the discussion is centered around what a “bad husband” is, and that the assumption mostly is that if a relationship/marriage didn’t work out, it was because the man cheated or did something wrong. When that’s the case, I think the answer is clear…anyone who is a selfish liar, or who is abusive, is not setting a good example for their children, period.

But what if the man left the relationship for other reasons?

This begs the question, what ELSE makes a bad husband? If it wasn’t cheating or abuse, was he a bad husband? What if she was the cheating or abusive one? How many men would actually admit they were abused? What if they both were immature or uncivil, and didn’t know how to compromise enough to help the relationship grow instead of self-destruct? What if it was better for the mental health of the children for the parents to separate? What if a man is willing to sacrifice his relationship so that the children can grow up without witnessing anger and acrimony between their parents get worse and worse over the years?

It’s easy to judge when one’s never been in that situation. Even as a child of a broken marriage, I thought I knew more than my parents. I thought they didn’t try hard enough to stay together. Then I becamen an adult, and I learned how wrong I was, and how hard it must’ve been for them. They actually managed to forgive each other and become great co-parents, a trick I haven’t quite learned yet in my own situation.

So reserve your blanket judgements if you can. If you can’t, I don’t really blame you. I’ll just have to find comfort in the knowledge that the only people who can truly judge me are my ex-wife, my children, and God.

Of course he can still be a good father!

What kind of a silly question is this. Of course a man can be a greatttttttt dad and a terrible husband. Maybe all he really wanted to begin with was to get in the pussE and he fuked around and stayed too long and got your a$$ knocked up and decided to stay knowing he didn’t really want you in the first place. After awhile he just couldn’t bother pretending anymore and got the hell out of your life, but not his child. Hence, he’s a great daddy, but to you, he’s had enough of you. Of course this isn’t the only situation where a man might be a good daddy and bad husband.

bad husband CAN be a good father, YES !!!

some people just dont click, but long as he handles his business with his child(ren) it should be str8

and why they had to use that Tiger Woods pic? yall aint slick lol

Yes. If a husband is bad it may be because he is no longer in love with his wife, shyt happens unfortunately. Its not fair to say a man cannot be a good father if he’s a bad husband. I’m not sure its fair to say he’s a bad husband unless the guy has been abusing his wife physically. I say pphysically because I believe male and female can be abusive mentally or emotionally by words, etc.

@Vishouzk… I have to disagree, My son’s mother never matured enough for me to be with her after I got back from the Navy. But she was a great mother and I a great father, my son has never done drugs, drink or smoked ciggeretts and has graduated from Temple University with a degree and went back for his masters, We don’t have to be with the mothers to be a great father for our children. If your not going to be togther then show your children that at least you can get along. And that relationship has nothing to do with taking care of yours. According to you, if the father is not going to be with the mother then that father can’t be a good father to his children. Thats wrong! so the answer to this blog is Yes!

People generally take care of what they love. We are very different to different people.

Interesting that both examples of infidelitous media examples are Black, but regardless that not being the discussion, the question is rather simple. Can a Bad Husband be a Good Father? Neither is mutually exclusive and therefore the answer is yes.
It goes back to the old adage of “Do as I say and not as I do” type of attitude. Not always what you do comes to light, however it can and often does eventually, it does not necessarily imply educating or advocating that behavior. Some people just don’t click and thus marriages don’t last, however a child will and you can be a good father, but not necessarily the greatest husband.

That’s like asking ‘Can a bad man do good things’? Of course he can!

My father was a faithful husband AND a good father…even though my parents went their separate ways. And who determines what a ‘BAD husband’ means? You can’t ask a woman who’s unhappy in her marriage whether her husband is good or bad…her opinion is going to be extremely biased. Neither can you ask someone who’s never been married before.

Sometimes a man won’t necessarily be a good husband for YOU; because everyone needs different things from their relationships. But that don’t mean he’s not capable of being a good husband for the woman who’s right for HIM.

My relationship to my child has nothing to do with my relationship with my ex-wife. When I look at my kid, I don’t see her; I see me. So the answer would be absolutely!

Let’s be real here, can a bad wife be a good mother? This is incredible that this is always pointed at the man lol. I personally think that most women that claim that their man is a bad man shouldn’t have been with the person in the first place. While I am on this, might we discuss this. Women that claim that their are bad normally don’t take it in consideration that either they picked the wrong person or they had a few flaws of their own. And yes, we must be honest, there just might be a few women that just are going through sooooooooo much and being mistreated soooooooo badly by their big bad boyfriends, husbands, or what ever the case maybe. This is something that must be taken into consideration. But if we take it into consideration, we must also be fair and take into consideration the realities and the possibilities.

1.) The absolute in this case is no matter how bad he was or is, its still remains fact that he is the child’s father and shouldn’t be denied the to be a part in his child’s life.

2.) the possibility, what causes a husband to be considered bad. Is it the fact that he cheated on his mate, is it the fact that he goes out and parties until all time of the night, or is it the fact that he might have gotten fed up with a lot of arguments, that were pointless might I add, and just doesn’t want anything to do with the his child’s mother anymore.

The fact of the matter is, this is not just a child or a object used to get back at the person that you once were in infatuated or in love with. This is a person and a soul that one day will have to be judged in front of all mighty god. By saying this, its not the duty of a woman to cast judgement on a man and deny him the right to spend time with his kids and be a father figure in HIS kids life. I wonder if he was a bad husband when you were making that child, I would guess probably not because who gets pregnant on the first time. I would hope no one.

Although I’m not “Officially” a Father, and I have never been a Husband, I will venture to answer the question. In my humble opinion, the issue in question is a matter of morals and integrity. If a male (I always make clear distinctions between males and Men) would defy the sacred vows of Holy Matrimony, he is truly “A MORAL DEGENERATE”, and I don’t believe that being “A GOOD FATHER” and a Moral Degenerate are interrelated. A wise Man once said: “A GOOD EXAMPLE IS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN GOOD ADVICE.” To be more specific: “Children are more inclined to do what they see you do rather than listen to what you say.” Unless you believe that being a “Good Father” just involves providing for the child’s material needs, I can see why you assume a moral degenerate could be considered a Good Father. The best thing any Parent can do for their child is teach the child how to live without them.” A child’s principles, values and morals are the essence of his character, and a morally degenerate Father is eventually going to undermine the character develop of his child. You so-called Mother’s and Father’s can be content to build your “SAND CASTLES”, but your Children will continue to “REAP WHAT YOU SOW.” Sincerely yours, Michael Sydney Perkins (aka SWEET P)

lol… of call questions

ha! I meant of ALL questions. They could have least said what do you feel about bad husbands who are good fathers because u know its possible!

Of course he can. My cousin’s ex wasnt a very good husband but he is an excellent father to his two children. You would like him to be a good husband but sometimes it doesnt work out but as long as he is good to the children there is no need to question it.

silly question one has nothing to do with the other in this day and age parents are taking care of kids a little too well these days theses kids got it made even the kids that think they are being neglected have food and playstations and cell phones man they got it good

“Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father?”

I would not “risk” having a kid by a male that was a “bad” husband.

of course. What does tht have to do with the kids? he should still handle his business as their father. What kinda question is this in this day n age.. broken marriages are everywhere

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[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? | Hello Beautiful [...]

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[...] Can A Bad Husband Be A Good Father? [...]

AS A former Investigator of Child Support and a female to boot. These kinds of questions always peek my curiosity, because some women truly know what they are getting into but don’t want to see it, some women use the children to hold on to the man!. I had clients that would use child support to seek revenge from (baby-daddy) that is very active with his children. I another client who was so angry that her ex was moving on and getting married she insisted that I place a warrant on him for no payment before his wedding day. He was arrested paid his $5,000.00. Still got married upon his return he took drastic measures to relinquish his rights as the father of this child to get her out of his life. Some women don’t understand that if a women can give up children to open the door for someone else to adopt…….SO CAN A MAN…I salute all of the good fathers, every relationship is not always made to last.