Money Never Sleeps: A Millionaire Wives Club Novel (One World/Ballantine – December, 2011; $15) features Milan, Jaise, and Chaunci who are the gorgeous, high-rolling divas starring in the hit reality show Millionaire Wives Club. As they struggle with love, lies, lust, and the pressures of sudden fame, their friendships turn into cat fights that keep the cameras following all their malicious moves.

Milan is finally engaged to Kendu, the man of her dreams, and though things look perfect on the outside, distrust and jealousy are crumbling their romance. Jaise has found the love she so desperately craves, but her son, Jabril, remains the No. 1 man in her life—for better or for worse. And Chaunci, the independent, single mom who doesn’t feel she needs a man, is contemplating taking the plunge into a deep love affair—but will the man she chooses have room in his life for her? Add to this crafty cast Vera, a venomous new vixen who plays the game better than any of them, and you’ve got a season even more scintillating than the last.

Tu-Shonda L. Whitaker is the Essence bestselling author of Millionaire Wives Club, The Ex Factor, Flip Side of the Game, and Game Over. Under the pseudonym Risqué, she’s written the One World erotic novels Smooth Operator, Red Light Special, and The Sweetest Taboo. She received the Ella Baker and W.E.B. Dubois International Award for fiction writing. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and two daughters.

You can contact and follow Tu-Shonda Whitaker on Facebook, HERE!

You can purchase your copy of Money Never Sleeps at Amazon, HERE!

Kevin Taylor Releases Two New Books That Inspire & Empower Readers

Author Suzetta Perkins Returns With New Novel, “Betrayed”

Please help!  I’ve been going with my “fiancé” for nearly four years.  His ex divorced him five years ago (we met a year after his divorce), after they were married for 15 years. He has a now-17-year-old son with her. There were a lot of issues in his marriage and admits he was a terrible father. He had a substance and alcohol addiction problem and had difficulties holding down a job. He currently owes a LOT of back child support. He now works a fairly good job, although it’s low paying (but regular and long hours), and child support payments are deducted from his paychecks.

However, I feel his past issues with the ex are not my problem. I’ve tried to be supportive of him, even though we’ve had our own issues:  He has stolen from me and lied to me.  We’ve been in counseling and have tried to heal and I’ve tried to work with him to rebuild the trust.  Yet, he’s secretive about his relationship with the ex.

I feel it’s out of guilt that he behaves the way he does, and I feel she manipulates him because of the way he treated her in the marriage. (He may even have been unfaithful to her; I’m not sure.)  But now she’s DIVORCED from him. She shouldn’t be trying to get MY money from him. (We were living together for a year and-a-half until I kicked him out because he took money that he earned from side jobs that I found for him and gave the money to HER.)

Now he’s living with his brother and sister-in-law, sleeping in a kids’ bedroom and living like a 16-year-old with a 10 p.m. curfew. (I think this is good for him and is exactly what he needs at this point.)  His brother and sister-in-law will not put up with any crap from him. I tried not to, but he walked all over me. When he is late coming home now (past his 10 p.m. curfew), he has to sleep outside in his car. He isn’t allowed to have a key to his brother’s house.

He has asked me to let him come back and live with me. I’ve told him NO WAY. He wants to marry me, or so he claims, but he still carries on a secret relationship with the ex.

I understand that he will always have to have contact with her because of their son. BUT:  He visits with her at her house and never tells me when or what’s going on. I’ve NEVER met her, and she won’t allow me near their house. Once, we pulled up in her driveway after church (I was waiting in the car), and she came out of the house screaming and told him to get his “girlfriend” off the property and never to bring “her” near the house again or she would call the police. She won’t let me near the 17-year-old son and badmouths me to the son, whom I’ve only seen twice in the nearly four years I’ve been going with my fiancé.

How do I handle this? My fiancé is not moving toward marrying me. We’re Catholic and since both of us have been married before, in order to be married in the Church, we have to go through the annulment process. I started the paperwork process with our Church two years ago, but my fiancé won’t continue with the paperwork. It’s always an excuse. He has not been able to put any money away and is always broke. (He’s bankrupt.) He had a chance to get his bankruptcy resolved by my CPA for whom I work (free of charge) and he canceled the appointment. Now my CPA doesn’t want anything to do with him.

He still claims I’m “the love of his life” and that “one day” I will be his wife and that I’m his “wife” in his mind.

What should I do?  I do love him with all my heart, but he’s breaking my heart.

The ex won’t let go, and I feel he’s doing nothing to help the situation. Thanks for your advice. – He’s My Man

Dear Ms. He’s My Man,

Girl, girl, girl! Really? Really! Today, you’re going to bring this bull-ish to me and it’s only the middle of the damn week?!

I was cracking up reading your letter and saying to myself, “She is truly a bird. She is truly special. And, I’m talking about special ed. As a matter of fact, I’m enrolling you in my special ed classes at my Academy for Retarded Ass-Backward Women Who Don’t Know Their Ass From A Hole In A Ground.”

You have got to be out of your got damn mind to want to marry this man. You have got to be the dumbest woman living on the face of earth to even get wrapped up in this madness and drama with this man.

I’m going to list several reasons why you should not get married to him:

1.)    He has stolen from you.

2.)    He has lied to you.

3.)    You’ve only met his 17-year old son twice in four years.

4.)    He is a drug addict and alcoholic.

5.)    He is broke and bankrupt.

6.)    He is still sleeping with his ex-wife. Trust me. He is!

7.)    He is keeping secrets from you, and therefore, he is not honest or truthful, or trustworthy.

8.)    He’s living in his brother and sister-in-law’s home, with a curfew, and he has no key to the home because they don’t even trust him.

9.)    The money he earned from side jobs you helped him find he gave the money to his ex.

Finally, in order to get married you have to file annulment paperwork, which you have done, but he somehow can’t seem to finish. Thus, this means you’re not worth the time and effort. In essence: YOU MEAN NOTHING TO HIM!

Now listen here, sweetie, if every time you go out of your way to help him, and he doesn’t want to help himself, then why do you keep getting on your knees and kissing his left and right ass cheeks? Stop licking and sucking his ass. He’s not worth it.

But here’s the thing, all of you are treating him like a kid. Which he is. You’re babying him and holding his hand, and trying to get him to do the right thing. His brother is babying him and treating him like a kid. And, even his ex-wife is coddling him and manipulating him. Hmmmm, you see where I’m going with this? He’s a grown ass kid and won’t make any adult choices for himself because all of you are doing it for him. How about all of you treat him like an adult, and when he finds himself with no place to live, struggling with his finances, and he has to actually do things for himself, then hopefully his grown ass will grow the “F” up.

I’m going to wrap this up and I hope you will think for once in your life. And, I mean actually use your brain for something more intellectual other than watching Jerry Springer, Maury, and other non-academic or brain stimulating activities. How can this man actually afford to take care of you if he owes sooooo much back child support, he’s financially inept, bankrupt, and works a minimum wage job?  And, you say he says that you’re the love of his life. LMBAO! You’re actually wrong. You are the mother of his life. Don’t get it twisted. Then you ask, “What should I do?  I do love him with all my heart, but he’s breaking my heart.” Then stop. Someone can’t break your heart unless you allow them to. Stop being a doormat and letting him wipe his crusty nasty ass feet on your heart.

You go on to say, “The ex won’t let go, and I feel he’s doing nothing to help the situation.” If you know this and he’s not doing anything to help the situation, then why are you still there? Why are you hoping he will do what he’s supposed to and after five years of being with him he’s done nothing for you? I’ll wait while you ponder that. As a matter of fact, I’m going to end this and let it marinate in your thick ass brainless skull. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

“We Set A Date To Get Married, But Now He Doesn’t Want To Get Married”

7 Things That Could Change The Way He Feels About You [VIDEO]

My fiancé and I have been together for going on five years. We had a very rough start, but he came around. After a year or so being together we moved in together. He asked me to marry him after a huge fight and me wanting to move out. I love this man with all of my heart, but I said, “No,” because I felt it was the wrong time to be asking that sort of question.

After we worked things out, he asked me again. This time I said yes! Fast forward three and half years, and now he doesn’t want to get married. After we’ve set a date and everything he says we do not need a piece of paper to know we are married! He says he will do it for me, but for everyone else asking his remarks and expressions say he doesn’t! Why would he ask me to marry him if he didn’t want to get married? Where is this going? – Does He Really Want To Get Married

Dear Ms. Does He Really Want To Get Married,

SMDH! Chile, I swear you pressed and unrelenting women don’t and won’t learn.

You want to know where it’s going? Uhm, nowhere.

You want to know why would he ask you to marry him if he didn’t want to get married? Because underneath all your drama, nagging, and complaining he really never ever wanted to get married. I’m certain that it’s YOU who wants to get married. And, to make you happy and to keep a happy home, he is doing what he thinks you want him to do. Therefore, like most men who don’t really want to get married, but the pressures from their girlfriends who won’t stop nagging and bringing up the marriage issue a man will get to the point where he will be like, “Okay! Damn! Let’s get married. Let’s do this and hopefully you will shut the hell up!!!”

But, also like most men, they will tell you truth after careful consideration, thought, and processing that they do not want to get married. They never wanted to get married and the only reason he is doing it is because YOU want to get married. YOU want the wedding. YOU want to show off to your friends and family members that YOU got a man to agree to walk down the aisle and profess his love for you. LMBAO!

This is what I don’t understand and I do hope that someone will please explain it to me: Why do you women date these men for years on end, move in, play house and do all the things a married couple does, and then all of a sudden it dawns on you that you have no ring on your finger and you start demanding he makes a woman out of you and marry you? DOES THAT MAKE ANY FREAKING TYPE OF SENSE? I swear you’re some ass backwards thinking and doing folks. Now you want to back track and do things the right way. Now you want to reverse what’s already been set forth.

And, weren’t you the one who said, “No,” when he asked you initially to marry him? Now, you’re all concerned and perturbed because he’s telling you he doesn’t need a piece of paper for you to know you’re married. And, the only reason he will do it is for you! Now, listen to what he is saying. Pay attention because I’m certain that comprehension is not your strong suit.  LMBAO! Please, baby Jesus make it stop! This is what he is saying: HE IS ONLY GOING TO MARRY YOU BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED.

Now, you have an option: You can either ignore his desire not to be married and force him down the aisle and live a life of misery and unhappiness with a man who feels his is doing something he really wants to do, but will only do it to appease you? Or, you can wait and do some marriage counseling courses, and get to the root of why he doesn’t want to get married. And, you can save yourself the heartache, pain, and agony of trying to be with a man who will probably be much happier if you wanted and allowed him to be the initiator for marriage. I’m just saying. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Would You Sign A Two-Year Marriage License To Avoid The Divorce Process?

7 Things That Could Change The Way He Feels About You [VIDEO]

Katrina, Cairo’s cut throat killer from the Kat Trip, is back with a score to settle! It was her cutthroat ambition and ruthlessness that got Katrina, “Kat”, out of the hood and on top of her game. Once a murderer on a seductive prowl with two missions in mind—satisfying her insatiable libido and killing unsuspecting marks—Katrina has lain down her guns. Having once used her alluring charm and exotic beauty to lure men to their deaths, Katrina has had a change of heart.

She’s settled for a simpler life and traveling, partying, and shopping have become her only guilty pleasures. In addition, she’s avoiding relationships and men like the plague. For her, life couldn’t be any sweeter—at least that’s what she wants to believe.

But, when drama rears its ugly head, Kat returns with a vengeance. There’s the issue of confronting her ex-friend who she learned had slept with an old boyfriend. Then there are her three aunts—who are angry about how she treated her mother.

And now she has to face her family, her demons, and the woman behind them—reopening old wounds, trying to mend new ones. Ultimately Kat has a new mission: to find the man behind her mother’s death and serve him up a dish of her own justice the only way she knows how—with a bullet to his head.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Cairo is the author of The Kat Trap, The Man Handler, Deep Throat Diva, and Daddy Long Stroke. His travels to Egypt are what inspired his pen name. Visit him on Facebook, HERE!

You can order a copy of Kitty-Kitty, Bang Bang on Amazon, HERE!

I need help with one of my best friends who introduced me to your site.

He is a good friend and my daughter’s godfather. He just doesn’t make the best decisions, especially when it comes to women. We attended college together and worked together for three years, and about six months ago he told me he was leaving and moving to Atlanta with a female friend.

I was happy for him, but at the same time a little concern. See, he is the type of guy that is woman crazy. He falls head over heels for women even if they show no interest in wanting him. The first of the year I get a call from one of our other friends and he began telling me about our mutual friend. Since he has been in Atlanta we talk about every month and he makes it seems that everything is all good and he loves it. He called our friend, however, to borrow money and he told him what was going on and told him the truth about his living conditions.

He takes care of her three kids, his godchildren, baby-sitting, cooking and cleaning, and giving her something on rent every month. But, come to find out he is sleeping on the floor of her three-bedroom apartment. She has an empty room for her two-year old, but since the child sleeps with her, she won’t let my friend have it. Then, she has a young twenty-two year old boyfriend, who is close to moving in also. While my friend is handling chores like a stay-at-home husband, she’s in her room getting the ‘D’ from a younger guy.

I talked to him last week, and he didn’t sound like himself. His tune was of someone defeated and unhappy, not his usual happy joking personality. I tried talking to him, but I think everything I said went in one ear and out the other. He is continuing putting up that front like everything is all right. His voice tells of something different. I know he continues reading your site and I feel hearing advice from you might make him snap into his right mind and get out of that situation before it turns on him. I also have to mention that the job he had covered his medical insurance, and now he has no insurance and has health problems.

His female friend keeps nagging him about getting a better job and giving her more money, while she is living above her means. I feel her new guy will soon want him out of the picture and he’s going to be stuck homeless trying to move back home. I think it is hurting his pride that he doesn’t have a job, and moving back will make him look like a failure. I am close to giving up on him because honestly he is too old to be living like this. We are both in our thirties, I am 31 years old, and married with kids and he is close to 36 years old with no kid. What should I do, let him keep on this path until he hits a brick wall, or help him save himself the pain and misery and admit defeat. – Help my friend out before he is homeless and naked on a corner!

Dear Ms. Help My Friend,

Chile, I say let his dumb ass find out the hard way. I’m all for helping folks, and helping friends, and extending a hand to them, but if they don’t want to listen and they are stubborn or have too much damn pride to admit when –ish ain’t working out, then, unfortunately, sometimes you have to let them hit the brick wall and hit rock bottom so they can see the situation for themselves.

It’s truly sad when a grown ass man who appears to have it all together, smart, educated, and a good head on his shoulders, but is too p****y hungry to know the difference between being used and being taken advantage of. He’s a clown and needs to have his ass clowned!

And, for the record, who the hell moves to another state with someone they barely know, sleeps on the floor, does the household chores like a live-in nanny and maid, and watches as some young tender bangs his girl? Oh, my bad, your friend!

Chile, I am truly thankful for my friends! Thank the Lord! We have a policy with each other that no matter what we will always be brutally honest with each other. We tell each other when we are doing asinine stupid ass –ish. We tell each other the TRUTH, regardless if we want to hear it or not, we don’t bite our tongues, and we don’t hold back. What good is it to have friends who co-sign your bull-ish and watch you go through something and then talk about you behind your back? No ma’am! Not me!

Honey, you’ve done all you can do. You’ve spoken with him, gave him a listening ear, and reached out and have been a friend to him. He is the one that is not opening up and being honest with you about his situation. You are getting the information secondhand. Unfortunately, and until he is ready, he is going to have to wake up and see what’s really real and say to himself, “What the hell am I doing? Why am I, a 36 year old grown ass man sitting up in this woman’s APARTMENT, not house, and sleeping on the floor, giving her money for rent, doing all the chores, baby-sitting, and some other dude is banging her back out? What am I trying to prove? Why is my ego so damn big and I’m too proud to admit that this –ish isn’t working, and I need help?” But, your friend won’t and can’t do that. And, it’s because of his ego and pride.

So, let his ego and pride put him out on the streets. Let his ego and pride ignore his health and realize he has no medical insurance. As a matter of fact, ask him if he can have sex with his ego and pride and if they can fulfill his longing desire to be with someone, feel love, and be wanted?

Your friend is searching for something that you cannot provide him with. He is looking for love. He is looking for someone to want him, desire him, and need him. And, he will put himself in this precarious and F’d up situations because he is driven by his emotions which are clouding his mental capabilities. So, let him learn his lesson, and hopefully he will stop being so damn egotistical, and hard-headed and count his losses. And, let him know you’re still there for him, and will have his back. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

“I Know My Man Loves Me, But His Ex Refuses To Get Out Of The Picture”

“I Gave Him The Ultimatum Of “Now or Never” For Marriage & He Said “Never”

Your articles have me in tear laughing. I’m a fan! LOL

Anywho, I have been dating my new boyfriend for almost 6 months and we recently told each other that we’re in love. He is so sweet to me, has bomb ass sex, and treats me like a queen. My birthday was recently and he gave me so many gifts and surprised me with a dinner and all our friends were there. I cried because nobody has ever treated me like him.

So, he is really not my issue. My issue is with his ex-girlfriend that he was with for 3 years. They had an on and off relationship and she cheated on him when he was away so he broke it off. I know he really loved and cared about her a lot because he kept giving her chances after she did him wrong. He says that he no longer loves her and wants nothing to do with her, but on his birthday she hit him up with this looong email saying how everyone in her family says happy birthday and that they love him (she also went on to make a few old jokes that they shared in common) and then to top it off she ended it with an, “I will always love you.”

He told me about this message, but it was only after I suspected she had contacted him because he made an indirect tweet about it and I figured it out. So, when he told me about the message I was a bit upset and asked him why he didn’t tell me. We finally came to an agreement that we would tell each other when an ex hits us up.

Now, my other issue is that she still contacts his mother and calls her “momma” and tells her she loves her. I can’t seem to get over this in my heart. I also found an old video of them together which also made me feel some kind of way. (I know I sound jealous) I love my man and want to stay with him, but I have a great feeling that his ex is not over him and will soon want him back if she already doesn’t. I don’t want his ex to become a problem, I want her to be a NON-FACTOR from here on out. Please give me your advice. -The New Girlfriend

Dear Ms. New Girlfriend,

Uhm, sweetie, she is a NON-MOFO’ing FACTOR! Why are you stressing over her? If he is not engaging her, leading her on, and reaching out and contacting her, then you don’t have anything to worry about. Let that bum ass wretched rat continue to scurry around sniffing for crumbs.

The man loves you! Don’t you get that! He went all out on your birthday. He gave you lots of gifts and surprised you with a dinner with all of your friends present. He demonstrated his love and emotions for you in front of everyone. The man loves YOU!

So what if his ex-girlfriend is sending loooong ass emails and trying to reconnect with him. That’s what a jilted and hurt ex will do when they know they’ve lost something really good. She wants him back because she realizes that she F’d up! She is the jackass that stepped out on him and treated him badly. She is the donkey that let a good man go, and in the words of Joni Mitchell, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.”  And, now she’s reflecting over what she’s lost.

This is what I don’t understand. You have a good man. He loves you. Treats you like a queen. Does everything under the sun for you, and tells you he loves you, then why are you focusing on what his ex-girlfriend is doing? Why are you worried about her? If he is loving you, spending time with you, and giving you all his time and energy, then she shouldn’t even be a matter of consideration or thought. She is

If I were you I wouldn’t give her any energy, time, or space to rent in your head. You keep focusing on her then you will lose your man. You will begin to start making up things, and situations, and occurrences that don’t even exist. You’ll be imagining circumstances because your head will be playing games with you. STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! Focus your energy and love on your man. Let him love you, treat you like the queen you are, and adorn you with lots of joy, happiness, and joy.

And, if Ms. Thing gets out of pocket and wants to show up and start requesting time with him, or calling your phone harassing you, then it’ll be time to get Jilly from Philly on her ass and let her know, “You’re getting in the way of what I’m feeling!” Let her know that she is old news, the old witch that had her chance and F’d it up. And, you’re being a woman and letting her know to watch herself and the boundaries of your relationship. If she continues to ignore you and your relationship, and doesn’t show you any respect, then you’re going to have to snatch Ms. Thang by her weave and whoop that ass. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

In the tradition of Walter Mosley and Chester Himes comes OUR MAN IN THE DARK by Rashad Harrison (Atria Books, November 2011, $25), a debut novel about a civil rights worker who becomes an informant for the FBI.  Proving once again that fact is stranger than fiction, OUR MAN IN THE DARK follows last year’s revelation that famed civil rights photographer, Ernest Withers, was an FBI informant – and that informants were placed throughout black movement organizations. Skillfully plotted, with remarkably complex characters set against one of the most dramatic times in our nation’s history, OUR MAN IN THE DARK is a timely exploration of morality, personal ambition, and the high cost of change.

“Most people let the beast in them run amok, John. And they merely shrug their shoulders at the damage left in its wake. America has let that beast run wild. I may not be morally perfect, but we are on the right side of morality. We need to remind America of its moral obligation to accept the struggle within itself.”

So says Martin Luther King, Jr in OUR MAN IN THE DARK, speaking to John Estem, one of his foot-soldiers in the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. It’s the summer of 1964, and Estem is a downtrodden number-cruncher, a man with a polio-inflicted limp and only the dimmest hope of career mobility. Marginalized even by his fellow SCLC members, Estem desperately wants to contribute more to the movement than just his bookeeping skills. An outsider who longs for relevance, Estem  is tormented by the things that are so close and yet out of reach: Money. Influence. The woman he loves.

And so one day, Estem decides to help himself to a ten thousand dollar donation check meant for the SCLC, and finds himself in the custody of the FBI.  They not only know about the check, they have been watching him all along: If Estem wants to keep his theft from his fellow SCLC members, he needs to get the FBI the information they want: Specifically, any information that links Martin Luther King to the Communist Party.  “This country is under attack,” they tell him. “Every day, foreign interests threaten to unravel the very fabric of American society. This is a matter of national security.”

But it’s not just Communism the FBI is after, but King himself. And in this endeavor, they are not alone: Estem soon finds himself caught between two forces trying to bring down Martin Luther King – the FBI, and Count. While both parties want MLK taken down for different reasons, they play equally dirty.

With OUR MAN IN THE DARK, Rashad Harrison delivers characters that are neither good nor evil but a provocative combination of everything that makes us human. As their actions bring consequences the reader never anticipates, they beg the question: Is a great man defined by his weaknesses, or his strengths? OUR MAN IN THE DARK is a tautly plotted story that in the end reminds us that the more things change, the more things stay the same: The greatness of our country is limited only by our endless willingness to judge and destroy those who dare to dream of change and progress.

About the Author

Rashad Harrison’s writing has appeared in Reed Magazine, and he was a finalist for the Alexander Patterson Cappon Award in Fiction from New Letters Magazine. He has taught creative writing at New York University and, during the presidential campaign, he was a contributor to MedicineAgency.com, an online journal of political and cultural commentary. He recently received an honorable mention for the Gulf Coast Magazine Fiction Prize, and was shortlisted for an Editor’s Prize from Carve Magazine.

Harrison earned a Master of Fine of Arts in Creative Writing from New York University, where he was a Jacob K. Javits Fellow. He also attended post-baccalaureate writers program at Columbia University. He lives in Chicago. For more information, you can visit his website, HERE Or, you can visit him on Facebook, HERE!

I recently read the article entitled, “He says he’s unhappy, but I can’t let him go, he’s my world.”

I’m struggling with what I fear is a similar issue. My boyfriend of two years says he loves me and wants to marry me and have children, but every time we discuss marriage he brings up problems and says he’s not happy. Finally, I put my foot down and gave the ultimatum, “now or never.” He chose never.

After discussing his choice he recanted and decided we should go to couples counseling. He is a good man and we are happy as long as we don’t discuss marriage. But, I want to be married and have another child! I have a son from a previous marriage and he treats my son like his own, worse my son is completely attached to him and when we temporarily broke things off my young son was in tears for days. We do have our problems, but everyone does. I don’t want to walk away because we have formed a family. I love him and he’s the only father my son knows, however I feel like I’m cheating myself out of the things I really want in life.

I’m too damn old to be somebody’s girlfriend! And my eggs are getting old too! I truly love him, but how do I know that he will EVER be ready to make a lifelong commitment. His longest relationship before me was 6 months and he is well over thirty years old. Do some men just never settle down? – Waiting To Be Married

Dear Ms. Waiting To Be Married,

Uhm, ma’am, if you read my response to the other advice article, and you say that you have a similar issue, then what is the problem? I’m failing to understand. Here we go with this damn madness, again! Chile, the tales of the desperate nagging girlfriend who thinks she is wifey material, but keep selling herself short by bending over backwards for a man, and spreading her legs, and making a home for him while he incessantly lets her know that he doesn’t want to get married and he’s unhappy in the relationship. And, her dumbass refuses to listen to him or hear what he’s saying because she is caught up in what she wants to hear and have in her life. Therefore, she’s that chicken running around the coup bawking up a storm. LMBAO!

Ugh! I swear you women have got to be the dumbest birds at the zoo dating these men with these issues and emotional baggage who don’t want to commit to you, and then they tell you that they don’t want to be married, and that they are not happy. WHY ARE YOU STICKING AROUND? WHAT ARE YOU HOPING WILL HAPPEN? You think he will wake up one day and recognize the great and awesome woman you are after all the time, money, energy, and resources you’ve invested in him? Yet, he’s not investing in you or the relationship. And, on top of it all, you move in together, play house, act like a family (all within a year’s time), and then you expect him to marry you when you are already acting like a married couple? What more is there to look forward to if you are giving him the milk, the cow, the land, and the damn farm?!?! You are damn hand maiden and don’t even know it.

Look here, sweetheart. Number one: The man has told you that he is not happy. Whatever issues or challenges he has that he is dealing with YOU CANNOT FIX THEM! He needs therapy and a psychiatrist to help him get to the root of his problems. Stop trying to be the girlfriend, woman, sex partner, maid, cook, therapist, and psychoanalyst. You cannot do it all!!!! That is not your job, so please stop trying to be all things for him. Ole dumbass with no damn degree of sense of educational training. You can’t make him happy if he is not happy. And, if someone is unhappy and don’t love themselves, please, please, please understand that you cannot fix them, or make them love you if they don’t love themselves.

Number two: When you put your foot down and gave the ultimatum of “now or never,” and he said, “never.” Chile, I would have packed all his –ish and put his MoFo ass outside with his –ish and told him, “Well, take your never narrow ass on and live in never neverland.”

Number three: Throughout your letter you keep stressing how YOU want to be married. YOU want more children. YOU want and want and want and want. Well, what about his needs? What does he want? It’s obvious you two are on separate pages in different books, and in different genres. You reading fairy tale books and he is reading science fiction. LMBAO! Get on the same damn page and start listening to one another.

I’m going to wrap this up and be done with you because it’s obvious you’re living in your own world and you want what you want without any regard to the bigger picture and seeing how forcing a man to be with you and marry you will ultimately lead to an even more dysfunctional and disastrous relationship. You said you feel as if you’re cheating yourself out of what you really want in life. You are absolutely correct. One hundred percent right. So, if you feel that you’re cheating yourself then why are you still there? Why are you waiting on a man who has made it abundantly clear that he doesn’t want to be married, his longest relationship prior to you was 6 months, he’s unhappy, and quite frankly you’ve made it comfortable for him to be where he is. If you’re too damn old to be someone’s girlfriend, and your eggs are getting old, then why are you still someone’s girlfriend? And, you’re eggs are about to rot, sweetheart. So, ponder those questions for a while and when you get the answers, hopefully you’ll be living with your son in your own place and working on healing yourself and moving on with your life. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

“Should I Ignore The 3 Day Rule & Invite Him To Hang Out?”

Why We Like Guys Who Don’t Like Us

I met this guy “Robert” at a bar on a Friday. We exchanged numbers and planned to hang out the next day because I was headed off to another place to meet up with friends. However (and probably unfortunately) I ended up seeing him after the bars closed as I was walking my friend home. His friend and him ended up walking us to her place and both of them caught a cab home to my place. We ended up drinking some more and just talking and eventually his friend left. The next morning after a night of cuddling and making out we had sex. We woke up, talked for awhile, and then eventually I drove him home. When he got out of the car he said he would call me later and kissed me goodbye (on the lips mind you). Yet all day he never called.

I know the three day rule but honestly think it is ridiculous so I text him on Sunday. We kept the conversation light and he replied to my texts (which he could have blown me off). But now it is been a couple of days and nothing. I kind of like him and would really like to see him again to get to know him better. Hopefully hang out with out having sex. Do you think it is a loss cause or should I just be more patient? I know it was probably a mistake sleeping with him so fast but do you think I can get things back on track? Should I make the second move and invite him to hang out? – Impulsively Searching For Love

“He Didn’t Want To Get Married, But We Did & He’s Still Sleeping With His Baby’s Momma”

Dear Ms. Impulsively Searching For Love,

Sigh! When will you ladies learn: Sex for a man does not equate love or instant feelings of like. It’s just sex. It’s a physical act of lust and desire, and on many occasions a need to release.

You said you kind of like him. Well, could you please tell me what do you like about him, ma’am? Yeah, just as I figured. You don’t know him. You had sex with him after a night of drinking. You both were mentally, emotionally, and physically impaired. How can you make a sound judgment under the influence of alcohol? Please explain that to me.

Girl, you had drunk sex and now you think you’ve met the one. SMDH! Silly ass rabbit, tricks are for kids. Ole trick ass.

Your signature is befitting of you: Ms. Impulsively Searching For Love. Stop searching for love by opening your legs to random dudes you meet at a bar. How about you start opening your mind and feeding and nurturing your spirit.

Girl, I’m still LMBAO because you truly believe and feel that just because he kissed you on the lips after you drove him home the next morning that it was a sign that he really liked you and wanted to get to know you better. I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! Please make it stop baby Jesus. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

“He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

Dear Gay Best Friend,

What do I do when I like someone but they are in the middle of a divorce? – Liking A Married Man

Dear Ms. Liking A Married Man,

Uhm, how about you leave them alone and wait until the divorce is over.

He is still married. I don’t care if he’s separated, and they are going through a divorce. What part of they are still married do you not understand?  Ole thirsty ass chick.

Please, slowly remove your rouge painted lips from under his nut sac and stop sipping his juices.

Let him go through his divorce before you start any type of relationship with this man. And, please note: Although he may be divorcing his wife, he is not ready to jump into another relationship so soon. So, any hopes of you being the next Mrs., please get that out of your head. You will be the jump-off, and bed buddy. You know, the in-between time chick until he finds another woman he wants to settle down with and make his wife.

So, pump your brakes. Get you some business, and preferably a man that is not tied to some other woman. Yeah, that’s a thought. How about you find a man who is single, eligible, and available. Why do you want to be with someone who already has somebody? Because as the saying goes, “How you find him, is how you will lose him.” – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

“My Boyfriend Infected Me With HIV & He Stole My Money For My Meds”

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I met a guy on face book and I cuddled a little with him at the first date. He didn’t even ask me to become his girlfriend or anything. We met again two days later. We cuddled a lot again. After that, I called him a couple of times. He answered me, but he won’t call me himself. He pretends that he’s busy so he doesn’t have time to see me. But, I really like this guy and I don’t wanna let go of him. I wanna know if there is something I could do about it to make it work? – Liking My Facebook Friend

Dear Ms. Liking My Facebook Friend,

Girl, are you serious right now? SMDH! Chile, here we go with these Facebook romances.

Uhm, sweetie if you cuddled with him on the first date after meeting him over the computer, he’s not going to take you serious or even consider dating you. There’s a word for women like you, and I’m trying to refrain from calling you a hoe, so let’s just say that you’re easy. How about that? LOL!

If you can hop your fast ass in the bed with a man you don’t know, and from off the computer, then why are you expecting him to return your calls after you’ve shown him the goodies and you let him get a sample of your treats?

The doors of the, All Women’s Academy For Simplemindedness And Dumb Women Who Do Dumb –Ish, are open. And, darling, I’m going to need you to step to the front of the line.

You women are going to learn about meeting random men on the computer and taking your hot between the legs asses over to their houses. Your ass is going to come up missing. Ole Jeffrey Dahmer cannibal eating your brains for dinner.

Look, girl, he’s not interested in you. He’s not thinking about you. He only has sex on the brain. He just wanted to smash and use you like he’s done other random women he’s met off Facebook. It’s a game for him, and like most men. It’s called, “How many chicks can I slay on the first night and add to my little black book of easy lays so the next time I’m horny I can hit them up and smash again.” And, you my dear, have become a statistic to the game. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

Over 10 years as a pastoring, 20 years of ministry and social justice and a lifetime of caring about people through service, I have been capturing and captivated by words.  I have always been overwhelmed by the fact that people have always taken things that I’ve said and written and used them in their lives.  To have words come back at me has always been powerful, so going into this new year, I finally decided to take the sermons that people talked about Sundays after they were preached, the sayings that have followed me for years, the status updates that have garnered hundreds of comments and likes and the tweets that have been re-tweeted by many and assemble them in one book.

The book, released on 11-11-11, is about being able to have something in your spiritual, emotional and empowerment arsenal that can grab you and hoist you into clarity.  Some of the sayings are two words and some of the sermons are pages, but the end result is you being able to find something that changes your mind and your perspective and helps you continued on the course of greatness that is the intention of your LIFE!  You are not here by accident or incident. You are here on purpose and it’s time that you get off of the slow-moving, hard-working thing that got you to where you are today and do something at your next level!

ENVY: The Darkest Shade of Green

In Kevin Taylor’s previous novel, JADED, we met Joshua Arrington Knight and Elijah Monroe in a love story that author L.M. Ross (“The Long Blue Moan”) said, “Will change the way you see men, gay men, black gay men and even men and love. This is a masterpiece.”  Now, 5 years after they have come together, we go back into the story of the couple that dug their way out of jadedness and succeeded into love. But years later, did they make it?  Are they still together?  Did Joshua’s best friend Carlton, who moved to Europe with his professor-partner Donovan make it and discover that love and survive struggle?  DIVE INTO THE STORY OF ENVY and return to their story and meet young Kamal, who is young, beautiful and entitled and who’s willing to do whatever (and whomever) it takes to have the kind of career that he sees Eli having!

ENVY: The Darkest Shade of Green – It’s not pretty.  Love never is.  Unfortunately, neither is greed.

In Kevin Taylor’s previous novel, JADED, we met Joshua Arrington Knight and Elijah Monroe in a love story that author L.M. Ross (“The Long Blue Moan”) said, “Will change the way you see men, gay men, black gay men and even men and love. This is a masterpiece.”  Now, 5 years after they have come together, we go back into the story of the couple that dug their way out of jadedness and succeeded into love. But years later, did they make it?  Are they still together?  Did Joshua’s best friend Carlton, who moved to Europe with his professor-partner Donovan make it and discover that love and survive struggle?  DIVE INTO THE STORY OF ENVY and return to their story and meet young Kamal, who is young, beautiful and entitled and who’s willing to do whatever (and whomever) it takes to have the kind of career that he sees Eli having!

You can order both books from Kevin Taylor’s website, HERE!

You can also follow Kevin Taylor on Facebook, HERE!

I’m kind of hoping you can and will help me out. I’m a 23 year- old virgin and have been single for 8 years. I consider myself to be attractive and I have my life together while always trying to improve myself. Everyone always assumes I have boyfriend but alas, I don’t. I’ve gone on a few dates in those 8 years but nothing has ever come from them. One date consisted of me and the guy going to a Chinese restaurant ending in him trying to guess my breast size and challenging me to an arm wrestling competition. Then he acted like he didn’t know why he was still single…yeah, I stopped seeing him post haste.

Then there’s a guy who’s a musician that comes around every blue moon who’s spontaneous and exciting but I can’t take him seriously. He says he’s attracted to me and wants to pursue things but he’s never in the same city because he’s constantly on tour. Also, if he does text me I’ll respond and he won’t say anything else. He’ll say something like, “Good morning beautiful,” and I’ll say, “Hey ________,” and I won’t hear anything else which frustrates the hell out of me. These instances are sporadic and months or even years apart. He’s a little odd.

Recently, I met a guy at work and we went out a couple of times but the last time we were on a date there weren’t any sparks at all and he never clearly defined his intentions. He wasn’t the least bit direct like I’m used to and left me completely confused. Also, I’m not sure if he remembers my name cause I’ve never heard him say it or seen him text it. I expect a guy to take the initiative and I think it just boiled down to there not being enough chemistry so I haven’t seen or communicated with him since that date. It’s disappointing because I don’t meet a lot of guys who I’m attracted to and who are single and interested in me at the same time.

I guess my question is, what am I doing wrong here, or is there something I need to do differently? I’m not the most social person, but I do go to different places just to keep from going to work then back home. I’m active in my church and even though I’m not much of a club person I’ll go once in a while just to have a change of scenery or just to have fun. The usual demographic for guys that hit on me are men who are 20+ years older than me, or guys my age who ain’t about -ish. I’d rather have someone no more than 3-4 years older than me. Maybe I’m not direct enough because I’m a little shy, but I feel like a man should pursue a woman. Besides, the last time I pursued a man it ended up in the Chinese restaurant incident. I’m not in any rush to lose my virginity by the way. I just want to meet someone that challenges me and who I can really vibe with. Where is he?? (Age old question) Any suggestion would be helpful. – Over Being Single

Dear Ms. Over Being Single,

Girl, I feel you. The pickings are slim, and the men who do approach you make you shake your head. It’s almost like, “Where do these men come from and who trained them to be men in the first place?” Honey, I tell you, these men today are a piece of work. They want women to be their mother’s, girlfriend’s, wives, sex partners, mistresses, maids, cooks, bankers, and teachers all rolled up in one. Yet, they are not brining anything to the table but a lot of empty promises, broken dreams, and a penis that half of them don’t know how to work or use!

If you’re going to talk a good game at least back it up and lay some good pipe. Make me feign for it, yearn for it, and desire it. Don’t think you’re laying it down after a few humps and grunts, and then you roll over and want some food or some money. Get the freak out of here!!!

But, I digress. I did find humor in your letter and I’ve come up with some great adjectives for the men you’ve been out with, as well as most women who are looking for Mr. Right. These are the types of guys I’ve surmised you’ve encountered: The guy from the Chinese restaurant wanted “instant” p***y.  Chile, these men think that by taking you to a restaurant (Not even a 5-star restaurant at that), or a movie, or, hell, even to Starbuck’s for coffee, and they’ve shelled out a little over fifty bucks and they deserve something in return. Uhm, no, boo boo! In the words of Lil Kim, “You want a cheap trick, you better go down to Freak-Nic.” There will be no freaking, cuddling, coddling, touching, caressing, or sniffing of anything. We need to have several dates. I need to know where you work, where you live, your momma’s name, your daddy’s name, your sexual history, ex-girlfriend’s lurking in the background, any baby momma’s, and other pertinent information that may warrant a background check before we jump in the bed.

Then, there is the musician you went out with. Uhm, sweetie, he is not odd. He wants “reserved” p***y. He’s the type of man that probably has several different women he’s communicating with, and he’ll tell you anything you want to hear. He has a stable of women on reserve just in case one of his women gets out of pocket, or ends their torrid love affair. When one leaves, he’ll call you up saying, “I’m so sorry about my behavior. I’ve been working really hard and focusing on my career. And, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. You’re the type of woman that I feel I can settle down and be with. You’re smart, intelligent, and I want to know more about you. I want to make it up to you. I hope you can forgive me, and how I’ve been treating you. Perhaps we can get together for dinner tonight, and see where this takes us.” Yeah, men, do this type of stuff all the time. He’s only communicating with you to make sure that you’re still there, and when –ish hits the fan, trust and believe he’ll be calling you more frequently.

Awww, and then there’s the guy from work who wasn’t aggressive. He’s the, “I’m not interested, but if offered” p***y type of guy. These men won’t tell you that they’re not interested and will just stop communicating, however, if you keep pursuing them, or if you keep the lines of communication open they won’t turn down getting in your pants if you offer it to them. They often times figure that their lack of communication or pursuit of you makes you more intrigued with them, or perhaps as a sign of disinterest. However, because most women won’t leave it alone, or walk away from a man who disses them or fails to communicate, they figure he may be shy, or something is off and they pursue him trying to find closure, and instead of closing their legs they open them to see if, perhaps, he may be a better lover than boyfriend. LMBAO!!! Stop it, ladies. Just walk away and leave him alone.

Here’s what I suggest, you’re young, and you have your life ahead of you. And, I’m certain your hormones are raging and you want to be in the presence of some male testosterone that stirs up your loins and makes you at least get a little wet. If you have a church home, see if your church has a singles ministry, or a men’s ministry. I’m certain there are plenty of young men who are desiring the same things as you, but you’re just overlooking them and not seeing what may be directly in front of you. Check out the scene and do a few meetings with the Single’s Ministry and see what potential lies there. Hell, I’ll even say join the choir or usher board. These positions will place you directly in front of the church congregation. It gives you a stage to see all the possible single and available men who come to your church, as well as for them to see you. You better use those eyes as binoculars and scope out these men! Don’t be shy. Become a “man watcher.”

And, do you live in a college town like Charlotte, Atlanta, Durham, and other places where there are a plethora of college bound men who may have recently graduated from college, or are pursuing a master’s or doctorate degree? Honey, there are some smart and intelligent brothers right in your backyard. Get out there and see who’s in the yard. What about visiting sports bars, museums, and perhaps taking up a dance class. There’s also travel clubs where members travel out of the country and visit various new cultures and lifestyles. Many single people are members of these travel clubs.

You’ve got to put yourself out there. Be interactive, social, and engaging. Men love meeting women who are friendly and have a smile on their face. Don’t be out in the club, or some event with a scowl on your face. If you’re angry, and your disposition is unapproachable then perhaps you should keep your ass at home watching The Bachelor or Love And Hip Hop and updating your Facebook status with commentary on their miserable love lives. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

I have been dating this guy for two months now and I’m not sure if I should continue dating him. He is a very nice guy. I mean my whole family likes him but, behind closed doors it’s a different story. Like, when were alone we have a tendency to argue a lot and he always makes it seem like it’s my fault. He judges what I wear. He says that my best friend shouldn’t be a guy. He also says that I shouldn’t go out to clubs, and if my phone rings he’s checking it. And, if I’m playing a game on my phone he’s upset.

Now, the good things are that he love’s spending time with me, we talk on the phone for hours, he does whatever I ask of him, he goes out of his way for me, he buy me things, he caters to me, and he listens. I’m so confused because he’s hot, then he’s cold, and I don’t know if it’s just a phase because he does a lot for me and doesn’t want to get hurt, or if he has some issues. What should I do? – So Confused

Dear Ms. So Confused,

In my Janet Jackson voice (Control!) RUN, girl, RUN!!!! Get out of this relationship immediately!!!! If you stay, in month three you will be a domestic violence statistic.

(@  ^  @) Blank stare at you! Girl, you can’t be that damn clueless to recognize the signs of someone who is controlling and most likely an abuser. Wake your dumb ass up!!! All that –ish you find amusing and cute is not!!! It’s not funny, amusing, entertaining, or “Oh, my gosh, he’s jealous, and that means he loves me. And, because he doesn’t want to get hurt, he is hurting me and lashing out.” No ma’am. Leave that MoFo before he starts stomping your ass into the ground.

Look, here, the man argues with you and he makes everything seems like it’s your fault. Hmmmm! So, he turns things around and makes you feel guilty about things he’s done. Everything is your fault. He wouldn’t argue with you, or call you out of your name if you didn’t make him so mad, huh?

He judges what you wear. Perhaps, it’s because he doesn’t want others looking at you and trying to holler, so he suggests and offers alternative things for you to wear.

He says that your best friend should not be a guy. Jealous, much???? He doesn’t want other men around you, and will alienate you from your friends.

He says you shouldn’t go to clubs. That’s because he wants to monitor your whereabouts and if he’s not there with you, then he doesn’t want you there. Especially in an environment where there are opportunities for other men to look at you and possibly approach you.

If your phone rings he’s checking it. Uhm, sweetie, it’s your phone. Why, after two months, he is checking your phone!!!???? He doesn’t pay your phone bill. He shouldn’t even have your passcode to unlock your phone. Please remind me of why is he checking your phone, again? Oh, yeah, it’s because he wants to see who’s calling you, and why, and for you to explain your relationship with each of those persons.

Now, you say the good things are that, “he love’s spending time with me.” Do-Do brain, it’s because he’s monopolizing your time. He stalking you and your time so he can keep tabs on you. Then you say, “we talk on the phone for hours.” Again, ass on your shoulder, if he has you on the phone for hours at a time, then he can keep track of where you, what you’re doing, and slowly alienate you from your family, and monopolize your time.

All the signs he’s demonstrating are that of a controlling and abusive man. Like you said, your family loves him because he’s so wonderful around them. He smiles, and says, “Yes, sir,” and “Yes, ma’am.” He’s outgoing. Funny. Charming. And, engaging. But, as soon as you two are alone he is belittling you, berating you, and making you feel insignificant. All signs lead to an abuser. GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY. He is one step away from knocking you upside your weave. Girl, I don’t want to get another letter from you talking about, “I’m a domestic violence victim. You told my dumbass to leave, but I didn’t listen and now I don’t know what to do because he stalks my every move. Hell, he may be lurking inside the computer as I type this letter. Help me!” LMBAO! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

Are you TEAM JASMINE or TEAM RACHEL?

Bestselling and award-winning novelists Victoria Christopher Murray and ReShonda Tate Billingsley bring their favorite heroines together in a novel that will delight their legions of fans. Victoria Christopher Murray’s Jasmine Cox Larson Bush and ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s Rachel Jackson Adams are not your typical First Ladies.

Jasmine Larson Bush and Rachel Jackson Adams are not your typical first ladies. But they’ve overcome their scandalous and drama-filled pasts to stand firmly by their husbands’ sides. When a coveted position opens up—president of the American Baptist Coalition— both women think their husbands are perfect for the job. And winning the position may require both women to get down and dirty and revert to their old tricks. Just when Jasmine and Rachel think they’re going to have to fight to the finish, the current first lady of the coalition steps in . . . a woman bigger, badder, and more devious than either of them. Double the fun with a message of faith, Sinners & Saints will delight readers with two of their favorite characters from two of their favorite authors.

You can order you copy of SINNERS & SAINTS: A Novel on Amazon, HERE!

About Victoria Christopher Murray:

Victoria Christopher Murray always knew she would become an author, even as she was taking an unlikely path to that destination. A native of Queens, Victoria first left New York to attend Hampton University where she majored in Communication Disorders. After graduating, Victoria attended New York University where she received her MBA.

Victoria spent ten years in Corporate America before she tested her entrepreneurial spirit. She opened a Financial Services Agency for Aegon, USA where she managed the number one division for nine consecutive years. However, Victoria never lost the dream to write and when the “bug” hit her again in 1997, she answered the call.

Victoria originally self published Temptation. “I wanted to write a book as entertaining as any book on the market, put God in the middle, and have the book still be a page-turner. I wasn’t writing to any particular genre – I didn’t even know Christian fiction existed. I just wanted to write about people I knew and characters I could relate to.”

In 2000, Time Warner published Temptation. Temptation made numerous best sellers list and remained on the Essence bestsellers list for nine consecutive months. In 2001, Temptation was nominated for an NAACP Image Award in Outstanding Literature.

Since Temptation, Victoria has written nine other adult novels, including: JOY, Grown Folks Business, The Ex Files, and the popular Jasmine Cox Larson Bush series. She was a contributor to the first Christian fiction anthology, Blessed Assurance and the Contributing Editor for the Aspire Women of Color Bible published by Zondervan. Victoria has received numerous awards including the Golden Pen Award for Best Inspirational Fiction and the Phyllis Wheatley Trailblazer Award for being the pioneer in African American Christian Fiction. Since 2007, Victoria has won six African American Literary Awards for best novel, best Christian fiction and Author of the Year – Female.

In 2008, Victoria’s first novels in her Christian fiction teen series – The Divine Divas – were published. “I was concerned with what our young ladies were reading. I decided to do something about that – give them stories full of drama, but with a message.” The Divine Divas has already been optioned to become a television series.

Victoria splits her time between Los Angeles and Washington D.C. In Los Angeles, she attends Bible Enrichment Fellowship International Church under the spiritual tutelage of Dr. Beverly “BAM” Crawford and in Washington, D.C., she fellowships at Metropolitan Baptist Church under Dr. H. Beecher Hicks, Jr. She is also a member of the Long Beach Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority.

You can find out more about Victoria on her website, HERE! Or, you can visit her on Facebook, HERE!

About Reshonda Tate Billingsley:

ReShonda Tate Billingsley always did have an active imagination. From making up stories to crafting award-winning poems, the national bestselling author has always maintained a love for telling stories. After numerous rejections from publishers, ReShonda stepped out on faith, established her own publishing company, and released her debut novel, My Brother’s Keeper. The book caught the attention of one of the country’s top literary agents, who secured a deal for ReShonda with megahouse publisher, Simon & Schuster/Pocket Books.

A former television and radio news reporter, ReShonda has been in the journalism business for more than two decades. Currently, she is the co-host of From Cover to Cover literary talk radio show, a freelance reporter, an editor for the Houston Defender Newspaper, as well as a professional editor, ghost writer and literary consultant.   ReShonda recently added ‘actress’ to her impressive resume, starring in the national touring stage play “Marriage Material,” along with Allen Payne, Tank, T-Boz, Michael Colyar and Jill Marie Jones.  ReShonda has worked as a reporter for The National Enquirer and as an anchor and reporter for NBC, ABC and FOX television stations in Beaumont, TX, Oklahoma City, OK and Houston, TX. She left her job at FOX 26 News in Houston in 2007 to write full-time.

And write she does…

ReShonda is the national bestselling author of 21 titles (Eight adult novels, eight teen novels, one non-fiction, three anthologies and one poetry book). Her sophomore novel, Let the Church Say Amen, is being made into a movie of which she is Executive Producer and actress Regina King is the director.  Her teen books, Nothing But Drama and Caught up in the Drama are also being made into movies.

A much sought-after public speaker, ReShonda has won numerous awards for her journalism, fiction and poetry writing skills. She is a five-time winner of the National Association of Black Journalists Spirit in the Words competition. Considered one of the top Inspirational Fiction authors in the country, her books have appeared on the Essence Bestseller’s list more than 20 times, as well as The Washington Post and Dallas Morning News Bestseller’s lists. Her books have also been featured in USA Today and Ebony Magazine as Summer Sizzlers and she was recently inducted into the Arkansas Black Hall of Fame, along with R&B singer, Ne-Yo.

ReShonda’s upcoming projects include A Good Man is Hard to Find (Mar. 22, 2011), Saints and Sinners (collaboration with Victoria Christopher Murray, Jan. 2012), Say Amen, Again (July 2011) and A Little Bit of Karma (March 2012). Her current books include: Holy Rollers, The Devil is a Lie, Can I Get a Witness, The Pastor’s Wife, Let the Church Say Amen, Everybody Say Amen, I Know I’ve Been Changed and My Brother’s Keeper. Her teen novels include Drama Queens, Caught Up in the Drama, Nothing But Drama, Blessings in Disguise, With Friends Like These, Getting Even, Fairweather Friends, Friends ‘Til the End, and Caught up in the Drama. And the anthologies Have a Little Faith and Four Degrees of Heat. She has one non-fiction title, Help! I’ve Turned into my Mother.

A member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc, ReShonda is married with three small children and was recently voted a Top 25 Woman of Houston by Rolling Out Magazine.

You can find out more about ReShonda on her website, HERE! Or, you can visit her on Facebook, HERE!

We came up with our list of books that kept us glued to the pages, and yearn more from these authors.

In no particular order, these are the hottest books of 2011 that everyone should have on their shelves, and consider passing along as great Christmas stocking stuffers.

All books are available on Amazon or at your local book seller.

MOGUL: A Novel by Terrance Dean

Dean writes a fascinating fast-paced un-put-down-able book that gives reader’s an insiders a look into the down low world of the “Family” that makes up the music industry. And, they are willing to do whatever it takes to keep their family at the top at all costs.

A Silken Thread by Brenda Jackson

As secrets old and new are revealed, a couple finds themselves caught between the bonds of the past and an uncertain future, each making painful discoveries about who to believe and trust.

Allure of the Game: A Novel by Danielle Santiago

Sexy, suspenseful, and unflinching, Allure of the Game gives fans exactly what they’ve been hoping for—a deeply satisfying conclusion to an unforgettable trilogy, packed with insight into the mean streets she knows so well.

Big Girls Do Cry by Carl Weber

The Big Girls Book Club, where members have to be at least a size 14; Sibling rivalry can escalate to open hostility, especially if your sister has married your rich ex-fiance.

Football Widows: A Novel by Pat Tucker

During football season, when NFL coaches gear up for war on the gridiron, their wives are left to fend for themselves. And what better way to exact that revenge than to air everyone’s dirty laundry in a juicy tell-all book!

Justify My Thug by Wahida Clark

Following the action of Thug Lovin’, the story rejoins the saga’s favorite couple, Tasha and Trae, as they try to overcome their troubles and make their marriage work.

Murderville: First Of A Trilogy by Ashley & JaQuavis

This is a story of love and redemption that will leave you breathless from the unpredictable and mind-blowing ending.

My Soul To Take: A Novel by Tananarive Due

Tananarive Due weaves a tangled web in this novel, including beloved characters from her bestselling Joplin’s Ghost, in a war of good against evil, making My Soul to Take a chilling and thrilling experience.

No One In The World: A Novel by E. Lynn Harris & RM Johnson

E. Lynn Harris and RM Johnson— two powerful voices of a generation—unite with an insightful and emotional project that tackles themes of family, loyalty and identity.

Say Amen, Again by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

The spirited Houston congregation featured in ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s Let the Church Say Amen and Everybody Say Amen has a major scandal unfolding—and, as always, the outspoken Rachel Jackson Adams is at the heart of the drama.

Silver Sparrow: A Novel by Tayari Jones

Tayari Jones unveils a breathtaking story about a man’s deception, a family’s complicity, and two teenage girls caught in the middle.

Snitch: A Novel by Booker T. Mattison

In Jersey City the code of the streets is simple. No matter what, you don’t talk to the cops. You don’t snitch. But when young bus driver Andre Bolden witnesses a murder on his route, the code gets personal and every decision leads him deeper into worlds that he never intended to enter.

The Deal, the Dance, and the Devil: A Novel by Victoria Christopher Murray

The recession hits and rips apart a family’s financial stability. Unable to support their three children and other relatives, Adam and Evia find themselves drowning in financial trouble and teetering on the brink of complete disaster. With nowhere to turn, the Langstons have no idea what to do. Until Shay-Shaunté, Evia’s multimillionaire boss, comes to the Langstons with a five-million-dollar offer that seems so hard to refuse.

The Goat Woman of Largo Bay: A Novel by Gillian Royes

The Goat Woman of Largo Bay begins the detective series featuring Shad, a bartender in a fishing village in Jamaica, who is the community problem solver and right hand of Eric, an American who owns the bar and a hotel left in ruins by a hurricane.

The VIPs: A Novel

On a steamy June day in New York City, mega-star rapper TNT gathers a group of four successful men together, childhood friends who called themselves “the VIPs,” signaling the big dreams they all once had. The VIPs, who haven’t seen one another in years, are greeted at the Hotel Gansevoort by an openly hostile TNT, who asks them the bombshell question: “Which one of you bastards is my father?”

Holiday Gift Guide: 10 Great Gifts For “The Girl Who Has Everything”

Holiday Gift Guide: 5 Gifts For The Girl Who Likes To Entertain

I need some understanding. My 17-year old son revealed to me that he is bisexual.

I have always thought that he was gay. I think I understand gay and lesbian. Please inform me on bisexuality. I asked my son if he was using prophylactics and he said, “Yes, all the time with boys and girls.” My friends are ok, except one, she thinks that I am too calm. Help me out. – Need Understanding

“I Love My Husband, But I Want His Friend & I’m Thinking Of Leaving With This Guy”

Dear Ms. Need Understanding,

I am glad to hear that you accept your son for who he is, and that you are inquiring about bi-sexuality. But, just as you stated, you’ve always thought your son was gay, so the news should not have been a surprise.

However, there are many stages to coming out, and a young person, such as your son’s age, will go through several stages, and the first is accepting who he is, then identifying his sexuality (gay or bi-sexual), and then how to tell his parents and friends. It’s difficult for many young people to go through the first stage because it’s all about learning how to accept who they are first. It can be very challenging emotionally and mentally. And, I’m certain your son is experiencing a lot of emotions right now. He is confused, and probably questioning why is this happening to him, and if he will be accepted by his friends.

Don’t push him or force him to talk if he is not ready. Allow him to come to you, but at the same time be open and have a listening ear. There are many books out there for him, and you can provide them for you son. The late author, E. Lynn Harris, wrote many novels about bi-sexuality, and covered the topic quite eloquently. There is also my memoir, Hiding In Hip Hop: On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry From Music to Hollywood. I share a lot about my experiences and coming to terms with my sexuality.

Then there is the second stage, which your son is going through, and that is telling family and friends, and hoping they will accept them. Most times, people are already suspicious and may have questioned their sexuality and it may be of no surprise to them. But, for many others they are rejected by their family and friends, and then feel isolated and out-casted. It’s difficult for them already, and then to be rejected by the people who love you is devastating.

I think it’s very brave and courageous of him to come out and tell you that he is bi-sexual. I’m certain he was struggling with it for some time, and was hoping that you would be open and understanding. And, credit must be given to you because you listened to him, let him know that he is loved, and then you asked a very good question of if he was protecting himself. Bravo to you!

Most young men will state they are bi-sexual because they cannot admit or refuse to accept that they are gay. The definition of someone who is bi-sexual is: Sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical or romantic attraction to both males and females, especially with regard to men and women. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both.

Your son may very well be bi-sexual, and have an attraction to both men and women. But, keep in mind, most people are disturbed by homosexuality, and spew hateful speech against any man who is gay. And, if your son is in an urban environment, I am certain there is a level of machismo that he feels he needs to project. So, instead of admitting he’s gay, he may be saying he’s bi-sexual to avoid being ridiculed or judged.

Think about it, when you hear the word or term “gay,” what comes to mind? Most people think of drag queens, transgender persons, and the famous cross-dresser, RuPaul. Gay, for some, means that men like to dress and act as women. They are extremely effeminate, and every other negative connotation you can think of. But, that’s not the case. All gay men do not want to be women, nor dress like women, or act like women. There are many gay men who are just as average as the heterosexual male living in your neighborhood. And, there are many gay men who enjoy watching and participating in sports, and other rigorous activities. Gay men do not act or look a certain way. So, the caricature and over-the-top theatrics you see on television about gay men are blown way out of proportion.

The problem is that there are not that many positive role models for gay men to look up to or emulate. Most celebrities who are gay, unfortunately, many of them are closeted, because like your son, they do not want to be judged, or criticized for who they are. So, they remain closeted and hide their true selves.

I say continue to be encouraging of your son and allow him to come to you to talk. Don’t be invasive, or intrusive. He will push him further away and he may not be as open to discussing things with you. He’s going to experience a lot, and it’s important that he has someone in his life who continues to show him love and support. And, your friend who thinks you’re too calm about it, tell her to mind her own freaking business. It’s your son, not hers. And, if she can’t accept who he is then get to stepping! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

I am 20 years old. My husband is 29 years old. I want to start by saying I love him very much. My question to you is: He has this friend, LOL, I sound horrible already! I am very, very attracted to this friend. This friend is very attracted to me as well. He comes over a lot, most of the time when my husband is at work. We have struck up a stronger relationship than he and my husband, or even me and my husband have. We have even discussed the, “if I ever leave my husband” topic.

I love my husband. I want to be with him, but I just don’t feel as attracted to him as I do toward his friend. I have thought about everything. That’s all I ever do. I’m head over heels for this guy, LOL. I don’t know what to do. I’m so torn.

I have brought up stuff like this to my husband, like moving to a state where they allow being married to more than one person. Ha ha, and stuff like that. But, he is totally against it. I have told him I want him to go out one night and screw a random chick to try and get him use to the idea, LOL. He was very against that as well.

I have thought about saying my goodbyes and just going with this guy. I swear he is my prince charming! But that is where the twist is. I have a two year-old daughter from my previous 4 year relationship. We have been together since she was 4 months old. She calls him daddy. He has raised her. I just don’t know what to do. To be honest, the only reason I do love him is because he has stepped up and provided for us and taken my child on as his. That is a very big thing to me. But that is it. The sex is no good. We fuss all the time. He is always pissy about something, and always in a bad mood, etc.

This is so bad, LOL. I am so stuck here! Please tell me what you think I should do! This is just a little to the story. There is tons more! (Me and this guy have had sex, and it’s the best thing I have ever felt!!!) Please, please help! THANKS FOR READING DOLL!!!! – Want My Husband’s Friend

“We Met Online & I Sent Him Explicit Pics & Video Of Me, Now He’s Disappeared”

Dear Ms. Want My Husband’s Friend,

This right here!!!

I clearly and certainly understand why some folks come up missing when they play these dangerous love games with other grown folks emotions and feelings. I truly understand why folks go coo-coo crazy and ape –ish, and end up on the six o’clock news when dealing with absent-minded silly ass folks who play silly ass games. So, I certainly won’t be surprised when I hear about your basic and random ass coming up missing.

You are just wretched!

And, Ms. Thing, please stop lying and saying that you love your husband and that you want to be with him. NO YOU DON’T!!! I don’t know if you’re making that repetitive statement throughout your letter of how you love your husband as a way to convince yourself that you love him, or that you are trying to convince me and the readers out there. But, I’m not falling for the ole okey doke. You can play that game with your little ass girlfriends, and those basic ass people in your life, but I refuse to play this game with you.

By your own admission, you stated that the only reason you love your husband is because he has stepped up and provided for you and your daughter and taken your child as his own. Hmmm, the operative words for you are: Gold Digging Hoe. You found a sugar daddy to come in and clean up your slutty ass ways. You found a sucker who was willing to make you a respectable woman and a housewife, despite the fact everyone was telling him, “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.”

Wretched.

And, those little “LOL” inscriptions in your letter every time you mention that you like the other guy is a pure example of how young and simple you are. Over the giggling and sniggling like you’re in elementary school. SMDH! I could just snatch you by that fake two-tone pony tail dangling from your nappy ass head and drag your ass up the concrete street.

What the hell is wrong with you? If you have a good man who is willing to take you and your daughter in, and he’s stepping up to be a father to your child, and he’s providing for the both of you, and if you claim to love him, then why is your hot twat sleeping with his friend? First of all, why did you marry him? Yeah, yeah, we all know he was good to you and your daughter, but what are the other reasons you married him? Because I refuse to believe that you just didn’t find out, all of a sudden, that he fusses all the time. You just didn’t find out, all of a sudden, that the sex is whack. You just didn’t find out, all of a sudden, that he is always in a bad mood.

What’s so sad is that your daughter is going to grow up to be just like her mother. You already have a baby daddy. Then you married another man. And, now you’re sitting over there talking about leaving your husband to be with his friend. That is three different men your daughter has seen you be with, and she’s only two years old. But, you don’t care. You’re young, dumb, and stuck on stupid and d**k. That’s what happens when you’re selfish and don’t care about anyone other than yourself. And, you know what? Your husband’s friend that you want to be with, well, guess what sweetie, I’m certain he has a friend that you will find attractive and want to be with as well. So, then what?

Wretched.

But, then your ignorant ass is going to sit up here and say, “I swear he is my prince charming!” Bish, you ain’t no Rapunzel. You’re not Cinderella. And, you’re definitely not Snow White. You’re more like Hoe White and Bum-a-rella. LMBAO!

Your ole hood rat ass found a man to take you and your daughter in, and he is raising your child, by another man, and because you’re unhappy and miserable with the man YOU chose to marry and make your husband, now you’re willing to jack up everyone else’s life to accommodate your hoe-ish ways. Girl, please take a seat in the child seat in the corner facing the wall.

I want to know why did you wait until the end of your letter to state that you are sleeping with your husband’s friend? You could have done that at the top of the letter. You tried to ease it in. But, that’s what a trick will do. Tricks love to play games. Is he paying you and leaving money on the dresser after you have sex? Is he getting your hair and nails done? Does he take you shopping and buy you jeans and shoes? Ole classless hoe. Ugh! Your trick ass ain’t even got the game right with your basic ass. If you’re going to cheat then cheat “UP!”

Wretched.

Look, I’m not down for cheating spouses, and infidelity. I’m not down with playing with other people’s emotions and feelings. And, I’m clearly not down with you taking vows of marriage and discarding them like you do your body. Your husband’s friend is off limits. I don’t care how much you desire and want to be with him, HE IS YOUR HUSBAND’S FRIEND. If you’re having problems in your marriage, then you talk with your husband. If you’re unhappy with your husband about his ways, then you talk with him. You don’t go to an outside source, i.e., His friend, co-worker, or someone who is single, and someone who is not invested in your marriage. But, you’re young and are fulfilling your lustful desires. Everything you write about is sex. It oozes through your entire letter. If you desire sex where you need to be called a hoe, trick, and bish while a man is inside you, then how about you learn how to please your husband, and teach your husband how to please you. I’m certain he won’t have a problem accommodating your needs. And, how about you get into marriage counseling and learn how and what it means to be married. How about you get into someone’s church or spiritual group and learn what it’s like to be a lady, a woman, and a respectable one, who is married. And, I also noticed that you didn’t mention anything about school, or a career in your letter. So, how about you take all that focused energy you’re displacing on your husband’s friend and focus it on school and a career. How about you let your daughter see you doing something positive with your life, other than spreading your legs for every man that comes into your life? And, that’s all I got to say about that. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

I met this guy online after I decided to get on Myspace for the first time in over a year.

He left comments on my photos a while back and I decided to email him and see how he was doing. He moved up north and he asked me to text him. I am currently in a relationship, but it is not going well at all. He was aware and still wanted to talk to me.

Pack up and move on

We texted back and forth and he sent me a picture of his “thang.” He asked me to do the same, which I reluctantly did. I have never done anything like that in my life, but he was so fine and saying all the right things. Plus he is FINE!

So the sexting continues and progresses into videos. Until last week when i stopped hearing from him. We were texting everyday. What should I do? I texted him good morning on two different days and got no response. He was texting me constantly.

Now I feel horrible because there are naked pics and videos of me and they are in the hands of someone who can’t communicate with me. I am too embarrassed to tell me friends. I am on Facebook now but I’m not sure if I should try to friend him. I am pissed and confused. Help a sista out. – Texting Disaster

“I Met A Pastor Online & I’ve Learned He’s Married & Does This All The Time”

Dear Ms. Texting Disaster,

That’s what the hell you get!! SMDH!

I swear you birds will do anything for attention. Who in the hell starts texting some random dude they met online, and then begin sexting, and then your hot ass sends naked pictures and videos and you have no idea who they are? You really are special. You really are pecking the ground with your beak. Ugh! I could strangle you!

And, who in their right mind is on Myspace???

Girl, this is clearly a wake up call for you. I hope your dumbass learned a lesson from all of this.

I truly refuse to believe that there are people in the world, like you, who lack that much common sense. Wait a minute? Yup, you do lack common sense. I can clearly see through that bald spot in your weave directly to your small ass brain.

Please tell me why the hell you’re sending your naked narrow ass pictures to some random dude because you say, “He is fine!” Do you even know if that is really him that you sent your pictures to? And, do you know if the pictures he sent of his, “thang,” were really pictures of his “thang?” I mean, you two never met in person. So, you don’t know who you were sending your pictures to, do you?

Now, you’re sitting over there with remorse and shame because your nasty ass exposed yourself to some dude who can put all your business out in the street. The same dude who is now M.I.A. (Missing In Action) after he got what he wanted from you. So, what do you want him to do? Send you back the pictures and videos and issue you an apology? LMBAO! I can’t today. Please baby Jesus make it stop.

But, hold on, didn’t you say that you were in a relationship with someone? So, why the freak are you texting, sexting, and sending naked pictures and videos of yourself to some other dude? You really are thirsty. Stop drinking the nut juice young lady. It’s not good for you. Yes, it has plenty of protein and they say it’s good for your skin, but stop digesting it.

Listen up folks! I’m going to issue this warning once, and once only. Do not respond to some random person off the internet who hits you up and asks you to start texting them. Why the hell would you give out your number to someone whom you’ve never met in person and that you don’t know? They are a stranger. And, what’s the saying you learned when you were younger and a stranger approached you, “STRANGER DANGER!”

Do not respond to some random person off the internet who hits up with naked pictures of themselves and they ask you to send some of yourself. Uhm, you do know that people can lift other people’s photos and naked pictures from off the internet and pass themselves off as their own. They can make up a whole complete profile and identity for themselves and you wouldn’t know the difference. STOP RESPONDING TO FOLKS YOU DON’T KNOW ON THE INTERNET.

Do not, and I mean DO NOT send naked pictures or videos of yourself to folks over the internet if you don’t want the pictures to be made public. Hell, don’t even take naked pictures of yourself with your camera phone and have them saved on your phone. It’s a recipe for disaster. Haven’t you all learned anything from the celebrities who get caught up in these naked pictures texting scandals? And, what do you all say when you read about them on the blogs, after you’ve looked at the pictures? “They are so damn stupid. Why they hell would they send their naked pictures to some jump-off and think they won’t expose them?” Yeah, exactly. So, why don’t you think it will happen to you? What makes you exempt from this behavior?

Also, Ms. Freak-A-Leak, do you even know if the anonymous dude is of legal age to be receiving naked pictures of you? Is he over 18? You do know that sending naked pictures to a minor is a felony and you could be charged with child pornography? Ole dumbass! I swear you’ll learn. Take notes and let this be a lesson for you. Now, get yourself in someone’s school and get you some education. Stop running after dudes on the internet because they are “FINE!” How about you run to the store and get you some common sense and street smarts so this won’t happen again? – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

I have a pastor question, too. I liked your answers. So, I thought, ok, I will try.

I dated a Pastor, Bishop, Doctor, hell, he is all. I met him online, and fell hard for him. He lives in New Jersey, and I live in Boston. We met after one year of talking on the phones, internet, etc.

Well, come to find out, it was all a big joke and trick. He was either married or engaged. And after I did some research, I learned this is what he does. He gets nasty with woman online, and then goes home and be kind and sweet to his wife. They have children. He has a church, doctor’s office, etc. And, he calls himself the man that walks with God. But, he is not godly

Do I let him go on and get caught? Or, do I warn people? He calls himself a Bishop, a Doctor, Businessman. But I know better. Do I let him ruin others? Or try and stop him. – Almost The Pastor’s Mistress

“I’ve Learned He’s Been Seeing Another Woman For 3 Years & Has A Child With Her”

Dear Ms. Almost The Pastor’s Mistress,

Put his ass on blast. What are you waiting for? I would head over to Kinkos and get a blown up foam poster board with all the text and explicit email conversations printed on it. I would then head to his church and place it in the lobby of the sanctuary. I’d then sit perched in the front row. I’d wait for him to do the altar call and march right up to him, and tell him to lay his hands on me like he said he wanted to do over the phone and in the text messages.

I would also gather the other women he’s been communicating with, and all of you should march defiantly in a single file line inside the church. You all should be dressed in all black – black dresses, big black hats, long black gloves, and the big Jackie O sunglasses. Sit right next to the first lady and introduce yourselves. Say, “Hey girl! Good to see you this Sunday morning. I’m surprised that Mister was able to make it out of bed and get here on time. He was a bad boy last night.” Then slowly trace your lips with your finger.

Then, I would print all of the sexually explicit emails and texts and pictures he sent you and put them in a handout. I’d give them to each of his church members as they receive their weekly Sunday programs.

Trust me, if you don’t put him on blast he will continue to do what he’s been doing and getting away with it because no one will speak up. No one will go toe to toe with him because too many times folks put their pastors and bishops on a pedestal, i.e., Bishop Eddie Long, and when something goes down, they make the victims out to be the criminals and evil conspirators trying to harm and damage their poor pastor’s reputation. SMDH!

It’s sad because ministers, pastors, and bishops have been doing this for so long that it has become the churches inside dirty secret. And, it damages and destroys lives. The longer we keep silent and don’t say anything, the longer this will go on.  At some point someone has to make a stand and be courageous. And, it begins with women like you.

So, let his wife know what’s going, and I’m certain she already knows. Give her all the details, emails, text messages, and phone records. She may be in denial, but let her know that God doesn’t like ugly, and that she should remove the veil from her eyes. I would also call up the local media news outlets. They love stories like these, especially when it’s a man of the cloth, and he claims to be an upstanding citizen in the community. Honey, they will find out all types of dirt about him, including his dirty shenanigans in business. If he’s cheating on his wife, trust and believe, he’s cheating in his professional life as well. Now, get the hymnal book and start singing the old negro spiritual “God is trying to tell you something.” – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

Allison Hobbs is known for her titillating, salacious novels—Big Juicy Lips, Bona Fide Gold Digger, Dangerously in Love, and Climax. She published her 15^th novel, PUT A RING ON IT, this past summer; fans can’t seem to get enough of this grand dame of erotica fiction. This fall, she returns with SCANDALICIOUS (Strebor/Atria Books; October 2011; $15.00) a novel where scandal abounds as a couple takes on new lovers in the quest to save their marriage.

Allison Hobbs introduces us to Solay, a woman who went from baking in her kitchen to opening Scandalicious, a trendy cupcake shop known for its gorgeous and dangerously delicious cupcakes. Practically married to her business, Solay does not have time for romance or its complications.

After nine years of marriage and two kids, Chevonne is bored and her husband Lincoln is starved for physical attention. When the couple seeks help from a relationship counselor, he suggests they take a bold step and explore an open marriage. Six months later and happy with their new situation, Lincoln and Chevonne enter Scandalicious looking for some naughty treats. Sparks fly between Lincoln and Solay, and Solay is both shocked and thrilled to discover that Chevonne doesn’t mind sharing her husband.

What Chevonne doesn’t expect, however, is the emotional connection that appears to be developing between her husband and Solay. Is this really what the doctor ordered?

Author Bio

Known for writing provocative and controversial novels, Allison burst on the literary scene with her highly successful debut novel, Pandora’s Box, in 2003. A prolific writer, she is the national bestselling author of fourteen novels and novellas of multiple genres, including paranormal and fantasy. Allison is one of the contributing writers of Cinemax’s Zane’s Sex Chronicles, Season 1. Her novel, Double Dippin’ was nominated for the 2006 Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Award. The Climax was nominated for the 2008 African American Literary Awards Show. Big Juicy Lips was nominated for the 2009 African American Literary Awards Show. Allison received a Bachelor of Science degree from Temple University. She resides in Philadelphia, PA.

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You can order your copy of Scandalicious on Amazon, HERE!

I have been in a relationship with a man for over 12 years. I love him dearly and know that he loves me. My every want and desire he gives me.

I have always suspected that he was cheating and I would have reoccurring dreams about this. He has recently told me that he has been in a relationship with a woman for three years and has an 18 month old child with her. I was obviously devastated with this news. He said that he does love her and there is nothing else between them, other than the fact that they have a child together.

He stated his desire for us to move forward past this and said that he is working on being a better man. But, I still feel a lot of hurt and anger, and the trust is no longer there. We live in different states, which definitely make it easy for him to lie and cheat. However, we commute frequently to see each other, and he said he will move to where I am. But, like I said there is a lot of hurt and anger that I am feeling. I love him and still want to be with him, and on the other hand I just do not know what to do. – Hurt And Confused

“My Man Is On Porn & Dating Websites All Day & It Bothers Me”

Dear Ms. Hurt And Confused,

Are you freaking serious right now? Really? Really! WOW!

The 12 years you’ve been together and 3 of those he’s been in a relationship with another woman and he has an 18 month old child with her, and you’re asking me if whether or not you should remain in a relationship with him. And, homeboy lives in another state as well with the said woman? Please lean close to the computer so I can reach through the screen and punch you in your right eye. The hell you send me this damn letter for!!!

Somebody please give me a shot of “Don’t-Hurt-Em,” and please knock me upside my head for reading this. I think my brain just went on hiatus. And, we all know that your brain is on a long extended 12 year vacation. Come on home, baby.

Now, let’s look at this situation closely. Whew! Jesus be a friend right now. Twelve years you’ve been with him and you’re not married? Twelve years and you don’t live in the same state? Twelve years and all of a sudden he wants to move where you are because he wants to move forward from this situation? Twelve years and now he wants to be a better man? I’m going to let you sit with those questions and let them marinate. It’s taking everything out of me to not look you up, and come and drag you out of your house and shake the –ish out of you until I see some life return into your eyes.

If he hasn’t become the man he wants to be, or the man you need him to be in the 12 years you’ve been together, then it certainly will not happen today, tomorrow, or next week. All of sudden this bum ass fool wants to be a better man because he deceived you for 3 years, bore a child with another woman, and didn’t tell you until the child is damn near two years old!!! Girl, please, please, please do not get too close to me. Not today! I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!

Girl, he said to you that he loves her and there is nothing else between them other than the fact that they have a child together. Did you hear what he said, or does that retarded brain of yours do not understand anything that’s happened in the past 12 years?

What else is there to have outside of love? His heart is with her. His love is with her. I want you to pay attention, sweetie, because I know this may be a little fast for you. He has told you that he loves her. HE LOVES HER! Hello?!?!? Are you really that stuck on stupid and stuck on the d**k? Chile, I swear he must know how slow you are. He must have enrolled you in my Academy For Dumbass Women In Long Distance Relationships Who Think Their Man Is Faithful And They Can Tell Them Anything Because Stupid Is As Stupid Does.

In any of those reoccurring dreams you had about him cheating, did you get any insights, any suggestions, any indication of what you did after you discovered he was cheating? Or, were you stuck on the repetitive scene of him cheating? Clearly your psychic skills are lacking. We’re going to have to cancel your reality show, The Psychic Who Knew Too Little.

Let me tell you folks something. What you think and focus on will become your reality. What you give your attention to you will attract. Ms. Thang, you always suspected that he was cheating. The operative word is, “always.” If that is what you always felt then you got what you wanted. You focused on him cheating, and that’s what you always thought. Then guess what: He cheated. Why are you surprised? Why are you shocked and devastated? You shouldn’t be surprised, Ms. Cleo. You did have dreams about him cheating. And, that is all that you focused on.

And, you have to accept some part of the responsibility in this. You allowed yourself to have a relationship with him for 12 years and not get married, nor live in the same state, and you knew he wasn’t –ish from the jump because by his own admission he said that he is working on being a better man. That sounds to me like he’s been a dirty dog from the beginning and you knew, but you chose to look the other way, or accept his behavior. So, please tell me what person in their right mind would allow this? I’ll wait.

And, I’m not going to let asshole of the month get away with what he did either. He needs to be castrated. Like the Rev. Jesse Jackson got caught saying a few years ago on live television about President Obama, “I want to clip his nuts.” What your man did is lowdown, dirty, and trifling. He knowingly engaged in two relationships, deceiving both of you, bore a child with the other woman, and did it for 3 years. You need to be a practicing surgeon the next time you see him and “Clip his nuts.” Because this mofo didn’t and hasn’t been using any protection. He was running up in you and her, raw! WOW! And, I’m certain you two women are not the only ones he’s been dropping his seeds in.

What’s sad is that you gave him 12 years of your life, and you have nothing to show for it. Yeah, darling, what do you have in return? What can you walk away with? NOT A DAMN THING! You can’t get those years back. This fool has a whole other family in the state where he is, and you’re off in Oz trying to see the wizard. LMBAO! Girl, leave that fool alone and get yourself together. Focus on nurturing yourself, your spirit, and reclaiming your life. I’m hoping you’ll see the benefit and lesson in this. You should be glad that he didn’t leave you with a disease, or you don’t have a child with him making you another statistic. You can walk away with your head held high. You have your dignity, grace, and power. Don’t give your power over to him. Don’t allow him to have it. It belongs to you. And, don’t give him anymore of your time and energy. You’ve been letting him deflate and use you for 12 years. Let’s spend the next 12 years working on re-energizing, and re-membering how beautiful, smart, and powerful you are. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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My man and I have a wonderful relationship. We both have fantastic jobs. He is great with my and his own children (from previous marriages), and he takes good care of me and our household with no problem. We attend church, many social functions, go out on date nights, travel, and get along great. A woman could not ask for a better partner and our life together could not get any better. We have discussed marriage, but decided to wait until we both have our own individual situations in order before coming together as a union.

The issue is that he is addicted to porn and dating websites. I have used his computer a few times and noticed throughout the day that he is watching ALOT of porn and going onto dating websites looking at women. He is on the computer from the time he either gets home or wakes up, when he is not working, until he lays his head down for the night.  He does not respond to the messages on the sites, nevertheless, I can tell he is looking at profiles and porn.

I’m home as well in the evening, but he gets there a few hours before I do. When we are there I do not smother him and we give each other space, but we find time to spend with each other. I’ve had close friends say, “You should not care about it. He is good to you and a man is going to be a man.”

I have tried to turn the “other cheek” but I cannot deny that it bothers me. He comes home from work every day and has never stayed a night out. I do not ask him a lot of questions when he is gone out because I’ve never been the type of woman to feel the need to know my man’s every move and whereabouts. I know he previously was into very sexual things that included swinger parties/threesomes and he has it bad staring at women when we are in public, but I tease him about it. I’ve had open communication with him about fantasies and we try different things to attempt to make our love life more exciting. I know he loves me very much, but I really do not know how to feel about him right now knowing that he is doing this. – Discombobulated

“I’m In Love With A Drug Addict & I Pray That God Delivers Him”

Dear Ms. Discombobulated,

So, you do not ask him a lot of questions when he goes out because you’ve never been the type of woman to know your man’s every move and whereabouts, and, let me get this straight, your man spends an unlimited amount of time on porn and dating websites? (@  -  @) Wide-eyed blank stare at you!

So, why don’t you just pack him a goody bag of condoms, whips, chains, handcuffs, lube, and dildos the next time he leaves.

Chile, your man has an obvious sexual addiction and you’re over there trying to be Ms. Understanding-And-Not-Smothering-And-It-Don’t-Bother-Me-So-I’m-Going-To-Ignore-It-Superwoman. Newsflash: You don’t have an “S” on your chest. So, take that damn cape off and get real!

I want to know where do you all get these friends from who endorse and co-sign the bull-ish ignoramus behavior that these men put you through? The hell they are talking about, “You should not care about it. He is good to you and a man is going to be a man.” Yeah, you listen to them if you want to. Are any of your friends dealing with their mates who are spending a lot of time on porn and dating websites? Are any of your friends dealing with their mates who have a swinger past, into threesomes, and openly stare at other women in their presence in public? Yeah, just as I figured. None of them. But, you’re taking advice and listening to them. Dumbass!

Instead of sitting over there trying to be emotionally and mentally strong, you need to open your damn mouth and speak up. That –ish is not okay. It’s not healthy. And, it’s definitely not good for your relationship. The man is looking up porn and dating websites in YOUR own damn house!!! You don’t find that disrespectful and unsettling? Hello, (moves your blonde bangs to the side and knocks on your forehead) is anyone home? Anyone? Any one?

If you can easily get on the computer and see what he’s doing, then what about the children in the house who also have access to the computer? Did you think of that? I swear I wish I could shake some of you deer-in-the-headlights folks sometimes.

One day he is going to ask you to do a threesome or something freaky. Then you’re going to sit over there acting all shocked and appalled that he asked you to participate in something so vile and disgusting. Girl, he is showing you who he is. Why are you ignoring him and it? Why are you acting special…wait, what am I saying. You are special. Please put on your helmet and make your way outside to the yellow bus pulling up to your house. There is someplace I need for you to go.

I feel it’s time you and he have a conversation. Yes, open and honest communication. I really don’t understand you people who are in relationships but are afraid to speak up and talk with your mates about things that bother you in the relationship. Because, trust me when I tell you this, ignoring this situation will only create other things that will frustrate and irritate you. You will hate walking in the door of your own house and seeing him on the computer. You will begin to resent him. His breathing will make you irate. Then you will be yelling, “Do you have to breathe like that?” When you’re having dinner, you will look over at him, stare, and then blurt out, “Do you got to chew so damn loud?”

Your relationship will begin to falter and you won’t know why. You’ll be fighting over every and little thing. And, at the root of the very reason: His addiction to porn and dating websites that YOU chose to ignore.

You’re over there boasting about your fantastic jobs, how he’s great with the kids, and takes care of you and the household, yet, both of you are divorcees, thus, by my reasoning both of you are relationship dumb and retarded. You won’t speak up and he’s doing what the hell he wants to do. Re-read that statement and then ask yourself if that makes any damn sense to you?

So, Ms. Discombobulated, how about you pull yourself together and stop acting like you’re a high school girl. You’re a grown ass woman playing house with this man, so start acting like a grown ass woman who has some damn sense and speak up and put your foot down. Let him know how you feel about his porn and dating website frequent trafficking. Let him know how it disturbs you, and that you don’t particularly care for him doing it, let alone in the damn house, and with your kids who can easily get on the computer and see it. And, you need to ask him if there is something he needs to share with you, i.e., any desires or fantasies he wants to fulfill, if he’s unhappy in the relationship, why is he on dating websites, and if he’s thought about therapy for his addiction. Because, it makes no damn sense for someone to be on the computer from the time they wake up and until the time they go to bed scouring the internet for porn and dating websites. Especially, if he is in a committed relationship, and in love with you. Girl, you better get a damn back bone. Push them breasts up, round them shoulders, pin that weave up in a bun, and put your damn foot down! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

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I am going to start out saying that I really don’t know what to do.

I am a single mother of two kids. My son will be 18 next month, and my daughter will be 14 on May the 1st. I have been with the same man for six years, and when we got together I was 28 and he was 43. The man came in treating my kids and I like royalty. He gave us whatever we wanted when we wanted it. Not only that, he helps me provide for my mother and my brother, who is now 39 years old, and living with my mom.

Prevent Health Hazards

Now, this man is a very good mechanic. He works on his own, and makes his own money. And, still right now he does everything that he needs to do as a man, and to keep our house afloat. I guess you are asking if I got it like this with this man, what is my complaint. Well, my complaint is that he uses drugs. Not the green stuff, but the white stuff. That’s our biggest problem. He does good sometimes, and others I just don’t know. I can’t say the drugs are not in the way of things, because even though we are living good and have all the things that I want, I know we can have a whole lot more only if he didn’t have his habit.

So, I sat and prayed, and prayed and asked God to show me the way. Believe me when I say, I know God have my back. Because out of all that the man is really a good man. Sometimes I try not to judge him, because I have the habit of smoking me a joint every now and then. But, that is way different. He doesn’t judge me, so I feel sometimes why am I judging him. It’s very confusing because my friends say as long as he is taking care of home, and his business then why do I stress so much. Because I guess I stress because it’s the drug of his choice. No drug is greater than the other, a drug is a drug. I just need some closure, maybe a piece of mine.

My son is going to be graduating in June and off to college he goes, and we have a very open and close relationship, because before I got with this man, it was only my kids and I. He just kind of snuck up on us. But, I have to give much respect to my son because with him seeing the things that I go through, and the things that he does, my son has never gotten out of line, never disrespected him, or anything. As a matter of a fact he and my daughter love the ground he walks on. My daughter is the reason we are still here. She is a very hopeful young lady. She always say, “Momma maybe we can help daddy,” or, “If we leave him, he won’t have no body.”

I really don’t want that to be the reason I stay, and I won’t lie, I love him, I just want him to be and do better. Can you give me a little insight on what I can do to help the situation. There is one thing I do know, if God don’t change the situation, he will give you the strength to handle the situation.  – Loving A Drug Addict

“Should I Ignore The 3 Day Rule & Invite Him To Hang Out?”

Dear Ms. Loving A Drug Addict,

Well, I hate to sound morbid, but I think you should get your affairs in order, and by that I am referring to purchasing a cemetery plot, and making preparations for his passing. To knowingly remain in a relationship with a drug addict then you know what the outcome will be: Death!

And, I don’t want you falling out, wailing and throwing yourself over his casket and causing a ruckus when he does leave this earth. Folks act up and have fits when they know the person was on drugs and acting reckless with their life, but are shocked when they die. Really? Really!

It’s just like the celebrities who do drugs and we watch from the sideline. We see what it does to their life, and to those who love them. It’s unfortunate that we watch celebrities come to their own demise and watch aimlessly as they use drugs recklessly, and then when they pass everyone says, “Well, we could have done more.” Or, “I hope everyone learns from this lesson of the impact of drugs and what they can do to you.” Yet, no one listens. No one thinks it will happen to them.

However, we all have an uncle Tony, or aunt Frankie, and cousin Harold in our family that is on drugs. No one steps in to help them. We turn a blinds eye. Big Momma is the enabler, along with their spouses and mates. Giving them money so they won’t have to steal. Feeding them and staying up late at night pacing the floor waiting for them to return home. And, no one wants them over to their homes for the family events and functions because something will come up missing. All the women are clutching their purses. Then, when the party gets going, they tell everyone they are running to the store and will be right back, but either they don’t return until hours later or not at all.

In your own admission, you stated, “I can’t say the drugs are not in the way of things, because even though we are living good and have all the things that I want, I know we can have a whole lot more only if he didn’t have his habit.” (*  -  *) Blank stare at you. Dummy! Yes, you dummy. You claim you are living good, (Who the hell is living good with a drug abuser in the home?) but then you say that you can have a whole lot more if he didn’t have his habit. Ugh! I swear you folks don’t think or use half the brain and common sense God has given you. I tell you stupid is as stupid does.

I am appalled at the behavior you are teaching your children. It’s beyond sad. You have taught them that drugs are ok and all you got to do is love the druggie despite the harm they are causing themselves and their family members. What’s even sadder is that your daughter said to you, “If we leave him, he won’t have nobody.” SMDH! Your daughter is going to grow up and repeat the same behavior as you. She is going to choose a man just like mommy has. And, unfortunately she will be “hopeful” that the man will change his ways one day.

And, your son. Sigh! Is that what you really want to show him how a man should be? Is that really a good representation of a good man? A man who, as you say, “With him seeing the things that I go through, and the things that he does, my son has never gotten out of line, never disrespected him, or anything.” WOW! As I’ve said over and over again, you teach people how to treat you. And, your son is getting a good education on how a man treats a woman. (I’m being sarcastic, darling)

Don’t you know that children learn by our actions? They see what we do and repeat it. You are an enabler and you’re both co-dependent on each other. And, on the real, you’re both drug users. Yeah, sweetie, that’s why you say you can’t judge him because your little pot smoking every now and then is just as bad as his coke use. You even said in your own words, “No drug is greater than the other, a drug is a drug.” So, how can one abuser call out another when they are doing the same thing? Do you people read what you write? You can answer your own damn letters if you pay attention. Chile, I swear the slow gene is taking over the world. I refuse to allow it to fester and grow near or around me. Get back! In the name of Jesus! I command you to get back!

And, let me ask you this, why are you enabling him? Where did you lean that behavior from? What benefit are you getting out of staying in the relationship? Do you feel obligated to him? And, I want to punch each one of your friends in their mouths. Are they in relationships with drug users or abusers? Because that will explain that asinine bull-ish they are telling you. Yeah, they are telling you to stay with him, but they are talking about you behind your back.

I’m curious to know when you met what were you going through. Were you broken? Were you down and out? Were you emotionally and mentally drained? Were you financially strapped?

You keep saying he’s a good man. So, are you trying to convince yourself about his behavior? Are you trying to outweigh his drug use with the good things he does? Please explain. Because I really don’t hope that you think his behavior is that of a good man. Because I’m certain a good man would not purposely hurt those he love, and he certainly wouldn’t be on drugs. A good man would not outwardly teach young people that using drugs is okay, either. But, that is my definition.

Oh, and for the record, if he was 43 years old when you met him six years ago, then by math and reasoning, he’s 49 going on 50, and he’s doing drugs. Uhm, sweetie, I really am going to need for you to get a grip.

And, God helps those who help themselves. If he is not willing to change or seek treatment for his addiction, then there is nothing you can do. An addict has to first admit they are an addict. Then, they have to choose to get help. But, until then, there is nothing you can do. You can offer or make suggestions to him, if he refutes them, then you have to choose to stay and deal with it, which you’re already doing, or walk away and let him deal with his own demons. Oh, yeah, how about you get some help as well. BOOM! BAM! POW! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!

Readers are introduced to Setrina  “Mimi” Bailey. Mimi is carrying a nineteen-year-old secret that she’d like to remain hidden forever.  However, a move to Durham, North Carolina, threatens to expose her secret and forever disrupt the lives of those she’s protected from the truth all those years.

Mimi was raped by Victor Christianson, her best friend Brenda’s fiance, while they were in college.  Later, she gives birth to Afrika, now eighteen years old and college bound.  An expected call finds Brenda at Mimi’s doorstep, however Brenda isn’t ready for what Mimi lays on her:  Victor raped Mimi and Afrika is Victor’s child.

Later, Afrika is shot and Mimi is distraught; what Mimi needs at this moment is her husband, Raphael, who arrives from overseas the next day where he serves in the military.  Raphael is obsessed with finding who shot Afrika, and in his quest to do so, he learns much more—his wife’s secret, which means he’s not Afrika’s father.

Upon learning that Victor Christianson is Afrika’s father and possibly the person who shot her, Raphael seeks Victor who carjacks him at gunpoint.  Raphael makes a daring escape, however, hours later Victor is found dead.  Who killed Victor Christianson?

In a complex tale of mystery and suspense, BETRAYED explores the fine line between passion and power…and what we’ll do to protect the ones we love.

About the author:

A native of Oakland, California, Suzetta Perkins’ writing history dates back to her high school senior year when she shared the title of co-editor of her high-school yearbook.  Since then, she’s traveled the globe making stories of her own, which have been the subject of some of her unpublished short stories. Suzetta is the author of five published novels, Behind the Veil, A Love So Deep, Ex-Terminator: Life After Marriage, Déjà Vu, Nothing Stays the Same, and a contributing author of My Soul to His Spirit, an anthology that received the 2006 Fresh Voices Award. She is the mother of two grown children and the grandmother of two delightful granddaughters.

You can visit Suzetta’s website, HERE!

You can also add her on Facebook, HERE!

You can order your copy of Betrayed on Amazon, HERE!

I am really confused. I have been married to my husband for a year and we have been together almost a three years.

Five months before we got married he moved out of our home and moved back with his mother. He told me he wasn’t ready to get married. Two weeks later, I find out that he has went back to his baby’s mother. I was devastated and mad as hell. Two months later we talked and ended up getting back together. A couple months after that we got married. I thought we were doing good.

We got married in August and I found out I was pregnant in January. Not exactly was I was planning on since I had started school again. With my pregnancy I became super sick because of my high blood pressure. Two months later my husband loses his job and I’m dumbfounded. Our relationship went from bad, because of my pregnancy, to worst, because of his job lost.

We talked many times about getting a divorce and getting on with our lives. During these last couple of months I have been in and out of the hospital with this pregnancy. Eventually, my husband got a job cutting hair. One day I went to get my tags for my car and I called him while I was in line and I didn’t get an answer, and he always answers when I call. I remember getting off the exit to go home and something told me to go check his job or his mom house to see if he was there. No he wasn’t. I went to his baby’s mother apartment and there is his car sitting there. I’m crying and calling him and got no answer. I decided to put him out. I had the spare key to his car and I took his car, brought it home and loaded it up.

I talked to his baby mother and I found out that they had been sleeping with each other since he lost his job in March. I just so happen to catch him that day. I’m confused on what to do. Of course he has begged and apologized. It’s November and my baby’s due and our lease is up our apartment. I’m on disability because of my pregnancy and money is small compared to what I made before getting pregnant. He says that he doesn’t want a divorce and he was sorry and it won’t happen again.  I’m on my last straw, the last days of my pregnancy and lease for our apartment. What should I do? We have already gone through counseling. – Stay Or Try Again

“He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

Dear Ms. Stay Or Try Again,

Let the lease run out. Move your things out. Leave him. Get a divorce and move on with your life. See how easy that is!

Chile, I swear the common sense gene is rare the days. Your fool damn self is over there listening to that man as he tells you that he doesn’t want a divorce and he’s sorry and it won’t happen again, yet he keeps sleeping with his baby momma. LMBAO! Girl, hop on one leg and pat yourself on the head if you believe that.

Your husband is deceitful, manipulative, trifling, and a liar. He’s cheated on you several times, even during your pregnancy, and you caught him, yet you’re asking me what to do. Sigh! This is the classic case of, “Even though he told me he didn’t want to get married, I didn’t care what he wanted because I wanted to be married, and besides, I LOVE HIM!” Thus, when –ish hits the fan, i.e., He cheats on you, then you want to get all up in a huff because, “How dare he sleep with another woman and we’re married.”

Uhm, sorry boo boo, you may have had the pomp and circumstance of a wedding with all your friends and family present, the flower girl, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the thousands of dollars spent on feeding all those damn people, however while you were standing in your off-brand knock-off Vera Wang dress looking starry-eyed professing your vows of marriage, he was lost in space thinking to himself, “How the hell did I end up here? And, which one of these chicks I’m going to bang in the back room.”

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times in letters to women like you in this situation: When someone tells you who they are, believe them. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If someone tells you they don’t want to be in a relationship, then guess what? They don’t want to be in a relationship with you either. And, if someone tells you they don’t want to get married, then guess what? Say it with me class: THEY DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED, AND NOT TO YOU EITHER.

Why are you holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held? Why make someone commit to you and they are not ready to commit to themselves? If he isn’t ready to commit to marriage or a relationship, then you get exactly what you deserve. He won’t commit to you or anyone else, so he’ll keep sleeping with you and his baby momma because the both of you are silly ass broads who keep letting him lay between your legs and in your small ass heads. You thirsty ass chicks wear me so thin! You’ll rather have a piece of man, who keeps showing you who he is with his trifling cheating ways, and yet you keep running behind him trying to convince him to love you, and that you need him. And, this MoFo doesn’t give a “F” about you! Stop perching your lips and drinking from these men’s nut sacs!

Now, guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to be baby momma number two. He’s going to get back into a relationship with his first baby momma. You two women are going to end up arguing and fighting over this bum ass dude who cuts hair and can’t afford to pay child support. And, even though he’s the problem in the equation and cheating and sleeping with the both of you, the two of you are going to fight and brawl with each other like two chicken heads fighting for scraps of d**k meat. SMDH! Then, he’s going to tell you how much he loves you and misses you and you’re going to believe him and spread your legs wide open for him, again. Which means he’s sticking the both of you raw, i.e. Sharing community d**k. And, you two aren’t the only women he’s running up in. Trust me, there is a third and fourth chick out there somewhere. Probably in the same apartment complex as you, and his baby momma. And, guess what’s going to happen? All of y’all are going to end up pregnant at the same time. Chile, I should put my psychic abilities to better use. LMBAO!

Look, Ms. Honey, chalk this up as a lesson learned. And, I mean take a good look at yourself, how you played a part in all of this, and how you should start listening to what someone says to you, as well as what they are doing. Pay attention. If someone tells you they don’t want to be married, then listen to them. Stop trying to make someone be with you for the sake of what you want. You can’t make someone love you, be with you, or marry you if they don’t want to be. He’s shown you time and time again who he is. He doesn’t want to be faithful or monogamous. He wants to have it all. Leave his ass. Get the divorce. Get the alimony, what little his broke ass has. And, put his ass on child support payments. Stop letting him belittle and demean you. Ugh! Now, get your life together and stop stressing because the innocent child you’re carrying doesn’t deserve all this madness coming into the world. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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This is a 2 part question:

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 1 year. I love him very much. I have a 7 year old son and he has a 4 year old son.

My problem is that he has yet to introduce me to his family, but he knows mine. When I sat down and talked to him about that he told me that it was no big deal and that he doesn’t want me to feel like I am not sharing every part of his life. That was two weeks ago, yet to he hasn’t brought the subject up or introduced me to his family.

Is Marriage For White People?

Top 5 Most Romantic Destinations

Furthermore, I hate when he does a disappearing act and it’s been happening quite frequently. Friday nights is our date night and he will stand me up and don’t call, or don’t show. When I call to find out what happened he won’t answer his phone. When he does resurface his lame excuse is that he hates disappointing me and can’t tell me no. He feels bad when he can’t make it that’s why he don’t answer cause he hates hearing the disappointment in my voice. I spoke to him about it and it’s still a trend for him. WHAT SHOULD A GIRL DO?- Ms. Confused

“My Boyfriend Infected Me With HIV & He Stole My Money For My Meds”

Dear Ms. Confused,

He is not your man. He is not your man. He is not your man. He is not your man.

I don’t know what part of a man’s actions you women don’t understand when a man doesn’t introduce you to his family and continues to make excuses of why he won’t introduce you. Let me break it down for you. It simply means that you’re not his woman and you’re not worthy of meeting the people who are the closest to him. He is not going to open up and share his personal and intimate life with you. He doesn’t feel you are girlfriend material, let along wifey material. You’re just a trick. A jump-off. A side piece. And, you don’t even come with a buttery biscuit or soda.

Now, if your man is disappearing on the weekends after he’s knowingly made plans with you and he doesn’t answer your calls when you try to find out what happened, and he’s standing you up, ho-hum, why do I have to answer this? Seriously? Really!! Really?

You are not his woman. You are not his woman. You are not his woman. You are not his woman.

I truly and honestly think, no, I know for sure that many of you are developmentally challenged. Your parents dropped you on your heads when you were younger. Wait, no, that’s not it. Due to the chemicals injected in the foods and the ingestion of these (fast foods), because your parents are too damn lazy to cook you a hot meal, it has retarded your mental and physical development. And, you’re having babies and passing the degenerate gene to your kids. Ole zombie lurch looking kids. Run! Hid your kids! Hide your ovaries!

Ladies, ladies, ladies. If you and your man have a date night and on said scheduled date night he disappears, doesn’t answer your calls when you form a search party to go looking for him, and days later, because by the grace of God he was found, LMBAO, and he tells you that he hates disappointing you and he can’t tell you no, and he doesn’t answer your calls because he hates hearing the disappointment in your voice, then reach around to the other side of your lopsided lacefront wig and slap the –ish out of your own damn fool self for believing him.

I swear the classes are going to be full this winter at my school, The Academy For Women With No Good Sense Who Suffer From Delusions Of Grandeur. I am specifically saving Ms. Confused a seat in the front row. And, because of my good heart I am going to grant you a full scholarship. Just let me know where to send the yellow bus each morning.

Look, I do hope that you will recognize that he is not your man, and you are not his woman. I have no doubt in my mind that he has another woman, which will explain his disappearing acts on Friday nights. (Are you really that slow? Seriously?) Hell, he may also still be involved with his baby’s mother. But, whatever his reasoning and actions for disappearing and giving you that lame ass excuse, well, sweetie, you teach people how to treat you. And, if you keep allowing him to do it, then guess what? Who’s the blame? Why do you keep allowing him to do it with no reprimand? It’s speaks volume about you and your self-esteem. And, he knows that you’re desperate, worthless, and quite frankly you are a non-MF’ing factor! BOOM! BAM! POW! I’m just calling it as I see it. He’s disrespectful, a liar, and manipulator. Why would you continue to let someone do this to you? Ms. Honey, you need to drop him. Move on. And, get you a life. If he doesn’t want to introduce you to his family, then stop asking. If he wants to disappear on Friday nights, then let him. Stop running after him. Lawd, I swear I don’t understand you woman will complain about exercising, but yet you will run after a man. LOL! Why don’t you find you something else to do on Friday nights? How about a Friday evening church service with your son? How about an evening with your son, and make that your date night. Teach your son how to treat a woman with respect, dignity, and grace. That way he won’t do and repeat behaviors such as your man. Doesn’t the bible say, “Train up a child the way he should go.” Ba-by, let me get out of here before I start preaching. LOL! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

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Essence bestselling author Travis Hunter tells the story of a young woman who takes control of her own destiny after lifelong abuse in MOMMA’S A VIRGIN (Strebor/Atria Books; September 2011; $15)

Ngiai Zaire never had a chance to choose her man. Raped at fourteen, her mother threw her out at sixteen and she was forced to live with a man three times her age. When that man died a mysterious death, his nephew stepped in to take his place. Abuse was all she’d known, until she decided she had enough.

Momma’s a Virgin is Ngiai’s struggle to overcome a horrible past and take control of her future. With the help of a brother she never knew she had, they settle all past scores—but is her quest for revenge going to jeopardize her future?

Travis Hunter is an author, songwriter and screenwriter. The Hearts of Men was self-published in 2000 by Hunter’s own company, Jimrose Publishing House. During the 2000 Book Expo America in Chicago, Hunter was signed by Random House’s imprint, Villard Books for the re-release of The Hearts of Men, Married but Still Looking, Trouble Man, A One Woman Man, Something to Die For, A Family Sin. Dark Child followed. Hunter is currently working on his first young adult novel.

Hunter is a native of Florence, S.C. and is a veteran of the U.S. Army. He attended Clark Atlanta University, University of Washington and subsequently enrolled in Georgia State University where he majored in psychology.

During his tour of duty in the military, he discovered his interest in music, ultimately writing his first song for a Sony recording artist. Always an avid reader, Hunter parlayed his interest in music into a passion for storytelling that led to his critically acclaimed debut novel, The Hearts of Men.

Hunter lives in a suburb outside of Atlanta and is the founder of the Hearts of Men Foundation, through which he mentors underprivileged children.

You can find out more about Travis Hunter on his website, HERE!

You can order Momma’s A Virgin at Amazon, HERE!

I’ve been in as rocky relationship for three years. My boyfriend infected me with HIV.  He unknowingly had it for years. My treatment is going well and high in numbers. His is low and stable. We don’t talk about it with each other.

I emotionally cheated on him just to feel beautiful. Flirting with others makes me feel normal in some weird way. I feel like a walking disease 95% of the time. Mentally, I’m not coping so well. I have a 4 year old daughter whom is not his and he’s helped me with her throughout these past years. He doesn’t work, gets food stamps, and he cooks, but I work 60 hours a week to support the three of us. But, bills are still hectic.

Family Dinner Night – Peruvian-Style – at Pio Pio

On two occasions he has taken money from me without me knowing it. This last time he took money that went for my HIV meds. That was the last straw. I told him to leave. That same night he left and came back asking for a hug. Then he told me that this grandmother had died. He was crying and emotional. I only met his father and I’ve never met anyone else in his family in three years. He’s met everyone in mine. His family doesn’t know his status, mine knows everything. I guess the real question is I know he lost a loved one and he has my sympathies, but I’m cold to him. The taking of the money for my meds killed any emotion I have for him. He’s asking for hugs and support and a shoulder to cry on. But I feel nothing. How should I feel? Am I truly heartless? – Heartless

“We Started Off As Bed Buddies, But Now I Want More”

Dear Ms. Heartless,

WOW! I’m floored and beyond words right now. Your boyfriend unknowingly had HIV for years, and infected you with the virus. If this is not a wake-up call for all you readers out there, then I don’t know what else to say. No matter who the person is, what they look like, and how long you’ve been with them, please make sure to get an HIV test with your partner before you start having unprotected sex with them. Do not engage in any sexual activity with anyone and you do not know their HIV status, or if they are harboring any communicable diseases. Protect yourself at all times.

Now, back to you Ms. Heartless. Uhm, sweetie if you are saying that you have no feelings for him after he took money from you, then you are equating your feelings with things. Money is replaceable, and there is an abundance of it in the world. Yes, he’s an asshole for stealing your money, and to be blunt, HE’S A THIEF. Kick his ass to the curb. But, my concern is your emotional and mental well-being, and the fact that I don’t think you’re upset, cold, and heartless because he took your money for your HIV meds. I think you’re really upset and haven’t dealt with the fact that he gave you HIV.

Your anger, hurt, and pain stems from the disease he has left you with for the rest of your life. Ba-by, you haven’t really addressed it, nor have you emotionally or mentally dealt with the affects of being HIV Positive, nor the impact he’s having on your life by remaining in a relationship with him. Go on and say it, “You hate him. You hate what he did to you. You can’t stand him. Why did this happen to you? Are you going to live long enough to see your daughter grow up, graduate school, go to college, or get married?” You’ve been asking yourself all those questions with such venomous hatred for your boyfriend, but you secretly don’t say anything. You hold it in and just deal with it. You cry yourself to sleep at night. It’s too much to deal with and you feel hopeless. Honey, I can read it all in the undertone of your letter.

I also noticed the statement where you said, “Mentally, I am not coping well.” This leads me to believe that you may be suffering from depression, or some other emotional/mental illness and it’s displaced because of your hatred and resentment toward your boyfriend. Yes, sweetie, you have some resentment and underlying hatred toward him. You even said that neither of you don’t speak about it with each other. You are holding in all that anger, hatred, and worthlessness because of what he did to you. That is an emotional and mental issue you need to deal with.

But, also, Ms. Thing, I’m curious as to why you would stay in a rocky and unhealthy relationship with a man who is in denial about his illness, doesn’t work, steals from you, and has never introduced you to any of his family members? I’ll wait while you think about it. But, I gather the only reason you stay with him is because you feel as if no one else will want you. You don’t feel desirable, or loved. Your self-esteem and self-worth are sitting in a locked box in a corner of the closet.

It’s time to heal and move on. It’s time to let him go and get him out of your life. Why be with someone who doesn’t value their own life? Why be with someone who steals from you and lies to you? He’s self-destructive, irresponsible, and self-absorbed. He’s reckless with his life, and you do not need that in your life. You need to be strong, mature, and empowered for yourself and your daughter. You have to rebuild and reclaim your life. And, it doesn’t include him. Stop thinking you’re undesirable and that no one will want you. There are plenty of people who are HIV positive who date and have healthy sex lives. There are many HIV negative people who date and have married someone HIV positive. You just have to be upfront with your partners, and use protective measures for both yourself and them. I also suggest you find a strong church home or spiritual foundation. Work on healing your soul and developing your spiritual muscle. And, seek some counseling for your emotional well-being. Stop being a victim and become a victor. – Straight From your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

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Ok, I’m a Gemini so excuse the indecisiveness. My dilemma: stay or go. Here are the facts:

I’ve been “seeing” dude for almost a year. Early on learned he wasn’t relationship material because he’s in love with himself. Literally. Decided to deal with him sexually no strings attached because I was surprisingly attracted to him and he conveniently lives around the corner. Perfect. The sex is amazing!

Here is the problem…

First, it’s hard for me to NOT develop feelings for a man I’m sleeping with. Just don’t have it in me. Secondly, lately my desire to be in a relationship is becoming more pressing but it’s impossible to be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally retarded. I still date other men but no potential candidates and I continue to sleep with this man out of convenience. Never been my nature to settle but there’s a first time for everything. What do I do when I want more out of the situation but I don’t want to give up the “D.” Yes, I’ve talked to him about it several times: DEAD END. Stay or let it go? Ughhhh but I so want the sex though. – Ms. Addicted To The D

“After Sex He Went From Wanting To Date To Not Knowing”

Dear Ms. Addicted To The D,

Chile, not only is the man not emotionally retarded, but so are you. Don’t you know that you attract that which you are? If you want to know why you keep attracting a certain type of person into your life, well, take a good look in the mirror first. You are the magnet attracting these people.

The hell is wrong with you people. I swear many of you are emotionally, and mentally challenged when it comes to relationships. Why the hell would you insist on pursuing someone who is:

A.) Unavailable

B.) Doesn’t bring anything to the table other than sex

C.) Doesn’t want anything to do with you

You said in your own damn letter that it is not in your nature to settle. So, why the “F” would you start now? A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Baaaa-by if the United Negro College Fund didn’t say it best. I wish good sense was as natural for you as water is for life.

But, I’m glad you acknowledge that you are addicted to the “D.” That is the first sign of recovery for an addict. And, I’m going to drive this point home for all of you out there. Good “D” is addictive. Hell, even average “D” has some addictive qualities. If you find yourself like this young woman, or if you experience sexual cravings at weird hours of the day, scratching between your thighs, grabbing your breasts, shaking your head and pulling at your weave, and yelling out “Jesus” at odd times of the day when you think about the man you’re sleeping with and his “D,” then you are an addict. The “D” is your drug and I urge you seek help immediately.

Now, back to you Ms.Thang. If you know it’s hard for you to not develop feelings for a man you’re sleeping with, then why the hell are you setting yourself up for this relationship abuse, and inevitable disaster of an ending? Chile, you folks see and know the ending of your own predicaments, yet, you keep putting yourselves in these situations. Why would you set your own damn fool selves up knowing the outcome? Why would you set your own damn fool selves up knowing you’re going to cause yourself pain, anguish, and heartache? It’s because you’re crazy and the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

What do you think the outcome of a relationship with him will be? He’s self-absorbed and emotionally unavailable. What do you think will happen with a man who is unavailable, detached, and not willing to commit to anyone other than himself? Come on sister, think dammit! We’re rooting for you.

I tell you the degenerate gene is truly running rampant and the –ish is contagious. Hide your kids! Hide your family members! Hell, hide yourselves!

And, you stated that you are still dating other men while having sex with this man. I’m going to assume, and please lawd let my assumptions be accurate, that you are not also sleeping with these other men, and if you are, then I hope that you are practicing safe sex. (Nut rag). That was a Freudian slip. Sorry.

But, you stated something poignant (look it up I don’t have time to explain it), that you continue to sleep with him out of convenience. You want more and you want to settle down with him, but I strongly believe it’s not because you really like him, because you don’t know him, but because of the sex. Which you are very clear about. And, your lustful desires have convoluted (look it up I don’t have time to explain it) your dormant brain cells, which are probably more dead from all the red, blonde, and auburn dye you’ve been soaking your wig with.

Look, there is no good ending, middle, or beginning to this relationship. It’s course has already been set and destined. Stay in your lane and stop trying to change the direction and course. You can’t handle the one occupancy lane, so why are you trying to get in the HOV lane? How about you work on developing your strengths and regaining power and control over your own life? How about you develop some spiritual muscles so that you can loose this man from your life and not be dependant on a man for sex? How about you spend some quality time alone, create a healthy environment of self-love and self-appreciation before you consider being with someone who clearly is not good enough for you. And, why don’t you stop letting your body be used for sex. You are more than that. Own your beauty, power, and grace. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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I just read an article of yours online and felt the need to inquire more advice from you.

So, here’s the deal: I met this guy 2 weeks ago at a football party. He has text me non-stop, even text good morning and good night every day. Not to mention he text as soon as we get off work. I’m pretty sure he’s a player, but because I see the best in people I am not so good at being a judge of character.

Sunday Brunch at Chicago’s Parrot Cage Restaurant

Ok, so he asked to come over one night but then when I told him he couldn’t spend the night he changed his mind. Then he proceeded to say maybe we can do dinner and a movie one night this week. I said ok. That night came. I asked him what we were going to do and he said a lot of cuddling and kissing. I reminded him that he mentioned dinner and movie. Then he said he would cook for me. After I let him know that he had to bring whatever he was cooking he decided he wasn’t about all that. So, he came over and we just hung out in my living room talking and watching TV. Then he invites me to his softball game, so I go. Then the following Friday night I finally let him sleep over. We had sex, which wasn’t that great actually. Then he came over the next night to a party I was hosting. He spent the night again but we didn’t have sex. The next day (Sunday) he decided that he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. He went from wanting to date and possibly a relationship to not knowing. However, he says he doesn’t want to end things completely. I mean seriously???? Thank you for you time – What do I do now??? -  Holding Pattern

“My Boyfriend Wants Me To Add Him To My Credit Cards, But He Makes More Than Me”

Dear Ms. Holding Pattern,

I think things are pretty cut and dry. What are you missing or not clear about? I mean even Stevie Wonder can see this guy’s intentions. It’s not brain surgery or rocket science. He wants S-E-X!

What brain does some of you women, and men operate from? I’m certain that the brain God gave you is not being used or even considered for functional use. If someone invites themselves to your house or for a night of cuddling and kissing, then what about their intentions are you not sure or clear about?

Here’s a memo for all of you out there: IF YOU MEET SOMEONE AND THEY ARE TEXTING AND CALLING YOU LIKE CRAZY AND DESPERATELY AND EAGERLY WANTS TO GET TOGETHER AND HANG OUT AT YOUR, OR THEIR HOUSE, UHM, THEY DON’T WANT ANYTHING SERIOUS WITH YOU. IT’S ALL ABOUT SEX.

And, on the topic of texting; you people and these textual relationships. Do people actually call or dial numbers to hear an actual voice any longer? How can you develop and create a relationship with someone via text? Someone please explain that to me. And, the sad part is that it’s not just the younger generation, but some of you grown ass folks who are participating in this behavior. What the hell?!?!?! But, I digress.

And, another thing, when did dating become going to someone’s house and knowing the both of you are horny asses, but you convince yourself that you have all this restraint and nothing is going to go down, but then guess what happens, “It just happened.” SMDH! Dating is going out and observing someone’s behavior in public and interacting with other people, and especially with you. It’s about going to various places that the you two have in common, or exploring new adventures together. It’s not going to someone’s house and sitting in the living room watching TV. Especially not on the first date. Ugh! I can’t with you people.

But, you obviously found something you liked about him because your dumb ass kept entertaining him and his conversation. So, ask yourself why after several conversations and him being clear about what he wanted that you let him come over, have sex with him, and then get upset when he says he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, but that he doesn’t want things to end between the two of you?

You left the door wide open (meaning your legs) with an invitation to your bedroom and bed, and now you want to clutch your cheap ass pearls and act like Ms. I Got Some Values And Morals And Self-Respect For Myself. LMBAO! I can’t do you today. Perhaps you should call your friend and let him do you. I don’t have the time or energy.

So, to answer your question of what to do now? Uhm, hmmm, do you want to be his booty call? Do you want to be his jump-off? Do you, and can you, handle a casual sexual relationship with him? You did state that his sex game was not all that, but I’m certain you can teach him and train him on how to handle you and your cooty-cat. LOL!

That man is not interested in anything more with you other than sex. He’s made that painfully and abundantly clear from the beginning. But, you, and like so many others don’t listen to when someone is telling you who they are and what they want. You figure if you can get them to see how holy and virtuous you are that they will succumb to your light and change their evil and trifling ways. Chile, miss me already.

He wants sex. You don’t. He wants to be friends with benefits. You don’t. What he’s communicating and expressing is not in alignment and part of your desires. Therefore cut your losses, move on, and make a note that this was a lesson learned. Know from this point moving forward that you need to listen and hear when a man is telling you what he wants. If he keeps stressing sex, sexual encounters, sexual contact, intimacy, cuddling, hugging, lounging, caressing, massages, or anything that requires body contact, then he is not interested in being in a relationship. He wants sex. Now, get back on the saddle, and mosey along. I’m certain there is a man out there who wants a relationship and will respect you and your body. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click  HERE!

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click  HERE!

You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click  HERE!