What got me to thinking about my position with the lord was the recent wedding of my super Christian friend, Jacques.

Jacques is the son of pastors. His new wife is also the child of ministers.

Needless to say, this wedding was cleaner than Celebrity Sober House.

I sat at what I jokingly called the sinners table. We were the group of Jacques’ friends who were either single, out of wedlock parents, drinkers, smokers, bi-sexual-a really colorful bunch.

When I say this was a Christian wedding the music was provided by a praise and worship band. The “cocktail hour” was dubbed the “h’or dourves hour” during which a variety of refreshing fruit punches, lemonades and iced teas were served. I thought at least the champagne flutes would have a little taste in them. Even Jesus drank wine. Nope, we toasted with cherry 7UP.

All holiness aside, the wedding was beautiful and you could tell that the couple was starting off on a very solid foundation even though they’d been dating less than a year.

In any other situation that could have been cause for alarm or a pregnancy test but for Christians, they were right on track…READ THE REST HERE!

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During a very heated debate with Manny, we found ourselves trying to our damnedest to pin down the order in which people meet, date and marry.

After a couple drinks, some animated arguments, agreeing to disagree, here is what we came up with:

Step #1 – Dating

You’ve announced yourself as being in the market and proceed to meet and mingle with a handful of folks.

Some you see casually, maybe once or twice a month. There are folks you like more as friends than lovers. Others who you like more as lovers than friends. Then there are those in the middle. Dating is about rotation. By the middle of the first date, you can tell whether a person you’re dating or attempting to date is a homie, lover or friend.

I like to call this the Trio. The Trio is comprised of:

• Person #1 – You really really really like. Normally the one you wish you could lay in the bed with on a Sunday afternoon and do nothing. They’re sexy and a tease. You dangle at the end of their hook.
• Person #2 – You like them but its a mix of like and a great friendship. You’re not blinded by sexual feelings and get a better sense of who they really are. This is the chill person who lets you move at your own pace.
• Person #3 – They really really really like you, so much so that they pressure you for some sign of commitment. They can be somewhat jealous. You think they are cool but know you can’t give them what you want.

At some point 2 people in the TRIO always cancel themselves out. Usually its #1 and #3 and when that happens you find yourself with #2 moving into…FIND OUT WHAT THE OTHER 4 STEPS ARE HERE!

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Early on in most women’s sex life, they think the act of sex is limited to kissing, foreplay (oral but only she receives), missionary and doggy style. But after a couple years of playing the good girl and realizing that your needs aren’t being met because:

-         He’s doing what he wants

-         You don’t know your body well enough to tell him what you want

-         You’re too afraid to speak up

It wasn’t until I became more secure in my sexuality that I began to think outside of the box.

Finally, I got to the point where I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally. I was tired of sex without the big O. I knew that in order to bat 100% I needed to train my body. I had no choice. You too will come to this crossroads, if you haven’t already.

One day you’ll find yourself where you never thought you’d be before-the sex toy store shopping for some stimulation (dildo, vibrator, etc). . . READ THE REST HERE!

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]]> http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/do-you-share-your-toys/feed/ 1 http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/are-you-settling-for-a-black-man/ http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/are-you-settling-for-a-black-man/#comments Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:30:27 +0000 Single Girl http://hellobeautiful.com/?p=422767 “I wonder if I should lower my standards and date a black man.” No, this isn’t me playing devil’s advocate. This is a direct quote from a friend. She is beautiful, hella smart, body banging like a benzie and you guessed right…she’s single. Her ca... Read more..]]>

“I wonder if I should lower my standards and date a black man.”

No, this isn’t me playing devil’s advocate. This is a direct quote from a friend. She is beautiful, hella smart, body banging like a benzie and you guessed right…she’s single.

Her case is like most – she is single because she chooses to be, not outright but in indirect ways that pushes interested parties away. She’s been seeing this amazing guy for months but there’s one thing about him she can’t get over: He’s white. [Note from SG: If you haven't noticed by now, I'm black and 99.9% of the people I talk about on here are black as well.]

“I just always saw myself with a black man having beautiful black babies.”

My friend is sold out on the Cosby way of life. She admits she is bougie and all too concerned with how people are going to view her that she has held back from committing to a great guy because he’s a lighter shade of pale.

Interracial dating is a none factor in my book. I believe those who are opposed to it are just unhappy in their own lives that they want to rain on someone else’s parade. . . READ THE REST HERE!

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On more than one occasion I’ve found myself hot and bothered but sexless because neither he nor I had condoms. In the heat of the moment what usually happens is you start up then pause to check if you have a condom on hand. Well, when you don’t your will is tested:

“Should I?”

“Just this once?”

“Nah, I can’t. That’s not even my dude/chick like that.”

“I wonder if she is on the pill.”

Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed. Oh, I didn’t say you aren’t tight that you can’t get none. You are beyond pissed but being a mature adult, you are proud of yourself for doing the right thing.

But who should be in charge of having the condoms?

When I was younger I automatically thought it was the guy’s responsibility. I’m talking young, young like teens and early 20s. Then I got to college and the RA taped them to our doors and had a fish bowl full of them in their room. My girls and I would grab a handful in jest because we were too shy to say “I’m getting some dick from this guy in my Poly Sci class tonight and want to make sure we’re strapped.” Instead, we’d shyly laugh at the various colors and tastes and place them in our underwear draw like we never plan on using them…READ THE REST HERE!

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Don’t ask me why but I always find myself in situations where most people would flip out. I’m at a friend’s house on the couch, enjoying their cable when it became clear to me that their roommate was getting it “IN” in the other room. Being the person that I am, I simply turned up the volume and kept it moving. Hey, I was watching “Say Yes to the Dress”. There could have been a fire in the apartment and I wouldn’t have moved until the bride to be decided between the Vera Wang and Romona Keveza.

As they got louder and louder, I turned the volume up but there was no escaping – not the sounds of lovemaking – but the squeaky ass bed! With every thrust the bed inched across the floor and landed with a bucking noise. Forget the saying “if these walls could talk”, child if that bed I heard being tortured could talk it’d be begging for mercy.

Which got me to thinking…

When you are with someone, you fail to consider the number of people who have laid in the same spot you have. How many bodily fluids have collected in the fiber quilting of their Sealy. Nor do you think about the number of times someone knocked their head on the headboard or bit the pillow you have rolled under your head as they spoon you.

It’s one thing to be at the mercy of a partner’s bed history when you two are just dating but come marriage, trust and believe, my and my future husband are going furniture shopping….READ THE REST HERE!

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We always take pity upon women who are always the bridesmaid and never the bride. 27 dresses drove that point home. The chick was in love with her boss, who fell for her sister and ended up pushing away a guy who did like her (he was actually a reporter doing a story on her sad sack life). In true Hollywood fashion, they end up together in the end.

I’m not talking about women who haven’t taken that walk down the aisle. This one goes out to the men in the world who don’t want to get married but don’t want to be single either.

Let me tell you about Manny (if you are new to STSG, I call all my guy friends Manny). He is a serial dater. I can’t even call him monogamous because he tends to let things flow without titles, juggle several women and pick the best one of the bunch, stays with her for a couple months then opts out. Within days he is seeing someone new.

For the past three years he’s been in a relationship. Everyone thought this is it. This was the woman that was going to turn him into an honest man. I checked my e-mail and text from him expecting it to say “I’m engaged”. Never happened. They broke up and I didn’t find out until I ran into him at a club, drunk and sandwiched between two women.

Two weeks later, he tells me he’s off the market and settling in nicely with a great new…READ THE REST HERE!

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If people marry for love and 50% of them end up divorced perhaps we should start marrying for other reasons. I, for one, am leaning very close to marrying for money.

I recall a cool dude who told me that he wouldn’t mind if a woman was interested in him for his money and all that he could provide.

“Doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact if you are around me and you don’t want anything to do with my lifestyle I’m thinking something is wrong with you.”

“Really, so you could marry a gold digger?”

“Sure, as long as she is giving me what I want in return.”

“Like what?”

“Sex and lots of it, keep a clean house, raise kids well.”

“You won’t feel used?”

“Hell no, look I’m a man. I know what my role is and what women want. Most men who work hard do so, so that they can meet women.”

Ladies, men see right through “I don’t want you for your house, car, cash…I love you for who you are.” You might as well spit in their face for you have just insulted their ego. I don’t know why women tell this lie, mostly to themselves, as a way to prove they aren’t shallow.

Well damn it, I’m shallow!…READ THE REST HERE!

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Men tend to be very possessive in regards to women. Even if they no longer want her, already had her or never will get her, men can’t accept their homie getting a crack at it.

Some women, are the complete opposite. If a woman wants a man, especially a man she knows she had no chance of getting, she wants her girl to go for it. This way, she can live vicariously through you. If you have sex with him; she had sex with him. If he takes you out on a date it’s as if she went out too.

Why do women push their friends to get with men they know they like?

Two reasons:

1 – They have their hands full and can’t pursue the man for themselves

2 – She has no chance in hell with him

Let’s focus on the latter.

We all have the pimp girlfriend aka The Madam. Madam always tells you how great you look, wants to go out together and encourages you to talk to the guy across the room that SHE thinks is cute.

Her sales pitch is dope.

“This is my friend Erica, Erica this is Kenny. Kenny, isn’t Erica beautiful. She’s in sales. She lives in the city and loves sports.”…READ THE REST HERE!

Can’t get enough of the SG stuff?

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]]> http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/shes-your-pimp/feed/ 11 http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/love-isn%e2%80%99t-forever-but-a-tattoo-is/ http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/love-isn%e2%80%99t-forever-but-a-tattoo-is/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:00:19 +0000 Single Girl http://hellobeautiful.com/?p=380287 I received an e-mail from a dear reader (shout out to Jennifer) who brought it to my attention that MJB Jr. went and got a tattoo of her new beau’s name. In case you didn’t know Key-Key has been dating a NBA player. His name is Daniel Gibson and acc... Read more..]]>

I received an e-mail from a dear reader (shout out to Jennifer) who brought it to my attention that MJB Jr. went and got a tattoo of her new beau’s name. In case you didn’t know Key-Key has been dating a NBA player. His name is Daniel Gibson and according to her tattoo, he’s “Truly Blessed”. Yup, that’s what the tattoo placed on the front side of her left shoulder reads: Truly Blessed D. Gibson.

As Neffe would say “Are You Serious?????”

What in the world is he doing that has her skipping to the tattoo parlor? They haven’t even been together a year.

In order for me to even think about putting someones name on my skin they’d better have saved my life. I’m talking blood transfusion, organ donation, bone marrow transplant. Either that or give me million and millions of dollars. Maybe then I’d get their name on my body but it’ll be in a place where no one, not even I, can see it like the sole of my foot or the under carry of my butt cheek.

For the record, I do not have any tattoos and seeing how Ms. The Way It Is chooses to showcase her love and beliefs by inking them on her skin, I’m very content with my decision. Seems like the more tattoos you have the less selective you are resulting in sh*t like this…Click To See This OUT OF THIS WORLD REAL TATTOO and READ THE REST!

Says The Single Girl has been nominated for BEST SEX & RELATIONSHIP BLOG for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards.

***VOTE FOR HER HERE***

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Last night I had dinner with 11 men. I was one of three women and we all peed our pants from the stuff that was coming out of their mouths.

The conversation really picked up when we started talking about how to end a relationship .

“Send a text,” said one 29 year old guy, who claimed to have 12 lady “associates”. I didn’t know people still used that word.

“Question is, how long they been together. If it’s a couple months you go over to their house, have a cab waiting out front. Knock on the door but don’t cross the threshold and say ‘This isn’t working’ and leave. Whatever you do, don’t let them start with, ‘Let’s talk about it.’ If they do, you’re done for.” The gentleman who said this was in his early 40’s and has been in a relationship for four years.

So I inquired about his relationship and where he saw it going.

“Oh, we’re very strong. She is a good woman. I love her and haven’t cheated once.”

“Are you going to get married?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“So you’re engaged?”

“No but I call her my fiancée because she’s more than my girlfriend.”…READ THE REST  HERE!

Can’t get enough of the SG stuff?

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There’s this thing that I do when I’ve stopped seeing a guy-I erase his number from my phone. Since I don’t answer numbers I don’t know I consider this to be my fool proof way to not having to hear said guy’s voice again (especially if it ended badly). Ok, the real reason why I erase numbers is so that I don’t call him in a moment of weakness, usually when I’m horny or tipsy.

Just because I erase his number doesn’t mean that he doesn’t end up back in my address book. Usually it takes a couple months of friendly calls: “Hey SG, I was thinking about you and wanted to see how you were doing.” Translation: “I miss you and want to get all in your business; this doesn’t mean I want you back though.” After a couple of these convos, I go soft and save his number back in my phone because after all, we are friends. (I know, I just threw up a little too!)

The problem with having a friendly phone conversation with someone you used to date is eventually they will try to play the friend card and call you under duress. Blind sighted, you answer the phone and what follows is one of the most excruciating conversations you will ever have…READ THE REST HERE.

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I never gave dating a woman much thought. I have imagined what sex with a woman would be like as opposed to my pounding, sweat drops hitting me in my eye, grunting, bed breaking sexcapades with men. For some reason I assume sex with a woman would be softer, longer, more intense cause unlike men, we’d be using our brains during intercourse. But would it really be INTER-course. Maybe it should be called BUMPER-course.

What do I know? I’m not a lesbian, but judging by the weakened state of affairs in the dating game more and more women are considering taking a lesbian lover.

As of now, I do not have any outright lesbian friends. I do have girlfriends who have had girl-on-girl jump offs. What I noticed the most about my girlfriends who lust for women is that they don’t consider themselves to be bi-sexual or gay. They blurt it out in conversation like I knew all along then brush it off when they notice my eyebrow raised. The best excuse they give is “I was in college.” Not all of these relationships are in the past. From time to time, my girls will take a strap on to a chick Pinky style but swear they aren’t gay.

I don’t judge…READ THE REST HERE

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This may sound harsh but reality is no one wants to be with someone they consider to be dumb. We all want someone who is smart, intelligent, [add another overused adjective here]. But let’s be real, how much smarter than you do you want them to be? What happens when you get everything you want but it leaves you being the dumb one in the relationship?

As a woman, I’ve encountered my fair share of men who think they are smarter than Bill Gates. I quickly shut them down when they offer me useless insight or stuff that’s plain wrong. When I was younger I used to fight back, exchanging verbal jabs and standing my ground. Then a good girlfriend told me, “SG, challenging them only feeds their ego and makes it worse. As long as you know in your mind you are smart, what they say doesn’t matter.”

My biggest test was when I dated a dude, who gave me step-by-step instructions on how to make him a cup of tea. He was sick in bed, but felt the need to tell me exactly how hot he wanted his water, how much honey to put in, how long to let the tea bag sit and how many times to stir it. I held my tongue…READ THE REST HERE!

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He sat across from me on our first date and made a shocking confession.

“I am addicted to sex.”

For some reason, I didn’t react. I wasn’t disgusted. In fact I believe I even smirked.

“Really?” I never had someone tell me they were a sex addict. Not sure that a first date was the best time either but then again it’s better to go in knowing than not.

“Yeah, something I’ve been dealing with for a while. It’s why I don’t date much. I really like you though.”

Right then, before our appetizers made it to the table, I knew that if I was to continue seeing this man I would have either be in a world of hurt or have some of the best sex ever. I’m twisted like that, a glutton for punishment. Sue me.

When someone tells you they have a sex addiction that doesn’t always mean “I have a sexual intercourse addition”. Dude was addicted to…READ THE REST HERE

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

This weekend I had the pleasure of watching the Sex and the City feature film for the first time. It wasn’t a pleasure because of the film itself but because of the company I was in. An opinionated, Mr. Big-hating, Aidan-loving, heterosexual man, who paused the film throughout to blast the character’s decisions and reiterate his points.

“See, that’s what Carrie’s dumb ass gets for leaving Aidan for [Big]. She left a good guy and got left at the altar!”

What followed was a ten-minute back and forth about why women would take the man who can say “I got this” over the one who says “I need you”. I argued that women want to be taken care of. Some would prefer to marry a man they know will take care of home over one who will love them unconditionally but can’t manage a mortgage. The worst feeling in the world for a woman is to discover that she wears the pants in her relationship…READ THE REST HERE

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

One early morning, a couple weeks ago, I was awaken by a frantic phone call from a girlfriend.

“SG, this dude is trying to kill me?”

“Huh?” I jumped out of my stupor. “Call the police!”

“No, not like bang, bang kill me. His ass is a slipper.”

She’d been seeing this guy for a couple weeks. That night they had what was known as the “we’re going to sleep together tonight” date. He picked her up from her place. She wore a flirty dress and made sure her bra and panties matched. They went to a low key but nice restaurant, sat in the corner, next to each other so they could gaze in one another eyes. She was very hopeful about there being more after she dropped her draws.

Several hours later she’s on my phone, going nuts.

“What is a slipper?”…READ THE REST HERE!

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]]> http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/are-you-trying-to-kill-me/feed/ 9 http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/the-woes-of-living-alone/ http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/the-woes-of-living-alone/#comments Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:00:45 +0000 Single Girl http://hellobeautiful.com/?p=281971 The sweetest time in adulthood is when you live alone. You're out of the parents house and can afford not to have roomates. It will be a while before you even let the thought of moving in with a gf/bf or getting hitched enter your mind. For the time being, you enjoy waking up and not having to tell anyone... Read more..]]>

The sweetest time in adulthood is when you live alone. You’re out of the parents house and can afford not to have roomates. It will be a while before you even let the thought of moving in with a gf/bf or getting hitched enter your mind.

For the time being, you enjoy waking up and not having to tell anyone “good morning” or wait to get into the bathroom. Your dishes can sit in the sink for days. That used empty glass you drank from two days ago, just go ahead and pour your morning cup of orange juice in it. You know you’re the only one who used it and you know where your mouth has been.

You walk around naked, scratch your ass, leave a mound of dirty clothes on the floor.

Life can’t get any better. Until…READ THE REST HERE!

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Forget love.

People have convinced themselves that love is the moving factor when it come to relationships. Not true, especially in the case of women searching for a man.

Fellas, if you haven’t realized by now please take note:

Sure, women may be attracted to who and what you are presently but they are really thinking about what and who you can be in the future and how they can reap the benefits of the future you. We’ll call this the potential factor.

Guys, you can be making 60k a year at a mid-level job, renting your own apartment. You meet a woman, she learns of your current stats and within minutes she is brainstorming about how you will be making 90k a year, buying a house (that she helps pick out and decorate) and earning a promotion that will lead to a corner office.

Women love men who have the potential to earn, provide and accomplish more down the line. This is part of the reason why when a woman finds a man who is a diamond that needs polishing she brings a lot to the table early. She may spoil him, cook, sex him like crazy, things that show she is really there for him and locks her position in so when he does start climbing the ladder she is along for the trip…READ THE REST HERE!

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

“Women need to give the nice guy a chance. Only Black women try and tame the bad boy. White women marry lames all the time for security. They fuck bad boys in college and that’s it.” – Manny, my man friend

I’ve never been the one to seek the bad guy, the kind to come over and wear it out then steal money from your purse while you take your after-sex shower. I have, however, had a dude ask me for money for the bus and jack me for my phone headsets. It was the same man and yes, he had a record but the ohhh wee was sweet.

Coming to terms with the fact that it’s not just the men I pick but rather the men that I don’t pick and all that I am missing out on as a result is enough to take me back to the drawing board.

Perhaps I have neglected the Nice Guy pool.

What am I, like most women, looking for:

Stability: Nice guys are stable for the most part. They are so nice they don’t spend their time chasing behind women so that means they focus on work, family and building their lives up.

Romance: Nice guys love to make love and buy flowers and pick up that little necklace he noted that you admired in the Tiffany’s catalouge. Since they don’t spend their time being dicks they are more in tune to you.

Commitment: Nice guys always want to commit. That’s because they still have faith in relationships and rather be involved then raked over the coals by some she-devil who will suck them dry.

Nonetheless, as a single girl, I still fight my instinct to reject the Nice Guy.

The Nice Guy really just wants to be loved, like every woman. Yet when we women see someone in the living flesh who reflects the same needs, wants and sensitivity that we ooze from the hairs on our heads to the cuticles on our toes (twofold between the months of Nov – Feb when the holidays remind us how much it sucks to be single and we are bombarded with the worst question in the world, “Why are you single?”) we want to grab them by the nuts and yell “Man up, you damn sissy!”

Why do we hate the Nice Guy?

My reason, I find them pathetic. To further cement my sentiment I took Manny’s advice and went out on a date with a Nice Guy.

Lord have us Mercy…READ ABOUT SG’S DATE WITH THE NICE GUY HERE!

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

Talk about double standards.

There are folks who are single, yearning to be coupled up yet scoff at the idea of dating a perfect candidate just because he or she has kids. When compared to women, men (well the ones who care) are adamantly opposed to women with kids. The baby mama can be beautiful, smart, accomplished, body banging like a benzy but once he finds out she’s given the gift of life all their hopes gets flushed down the drain.

I love my boys, gods know I do but I wanna kill ‘em dead when they get to talking -ish about how regardless of how good the woman is, if she has a child he’s gone.

One friend in particular takes the cake.

He is handsome, smart, talented and single. He wants to be in a relationship but can’t seem to stop meeting great prospects…with kids.

“Manny, how do you know God isn’t sending you a woman who has a child on purpose?”

“I know God very well, he knows what I want. SG, do you know what happens when men date a woman with kids. Six months into she’s thinking of ways to get us to marry her so her bastard child can have a daddy. She tells you to meet her somewhere to hang out. You get there and this trick is standing in front of her kids school with the spawn.”

“You really think women are that desperate?”…

Read the rest on SaysTheSingleGirl.com

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

]]> http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/lady-with-a-baby/feed/ 55 http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/3-ways-to-winkeep-a-man/ http://hellobeautiful.com/style-beauty/single-girl/3-ways-to-winkeep-a-man/#comments Mon, 25 May 2009 17:30:53 +0000 Single Girl http://hellobeautiful.com/?p=259121 There are thousands of books, websites and experts who all spew crap about how to make relationships work, what a man and woman should do…it’s not that deep. L... Read more..]]>

There are thousands of books, websites and experts who all spew crap about how to make relationships work, what a man and woman should do…it’s not that deep. Ladies, if you are single, looking for love, in love, have a long term relationship that is kinda on the rocks, or want to seal the deal and get that ring on your finger…take notes.

1. SEX

Do it often, make it good, spice it up and do everything at least once…yes, EVERYTHING. If you got in the game teasing and pleasing, but one year later you are always on your back looking up at the ceiling like Celie inThe Color Purple, your man is going to lose interest and look elsewhere. All of this “I don’t do that…” will be your demise. If you talked a good game about how you got that crack in your crotch and he’ll be sprung, you should be able to deliver. Now, it’s not about giving it to him whenever he wants like some hooker. It’s about being able to take the driver’s seat and spring it on him in a way he’d never see coming.

• Go to his house in a trench coat with nothing on underneath but some killer heels and keep the shoes on during sex.

• Suggest a video camera, record, watch right after and erase

Read the rest on SaysTheSingleGirl.com

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me onTwitter.com/The_Single_Girl

There are some words women long to hear from their man. “I love you” tops the list followed in no particular order by “I need you”, “I miss you”, “Will you marry me?” All that is cute but let’s talk about the words women don’t want to hear. Not that the easy ones “I’m Gay”, “I’m Married” or “It’s Over.” I’m talking about six words that don’t seem harmless at first but soon can spread like cancer and destroy your relationship slowly. Men, these are six words you should never say to your woman:

“What you need to do is…”

I want to spit just having typed those words.

No man thinks that this is a big deal but once you start with those six lethal words the rest of the sentence is irrelevant because you girl is thinking, “I know this man ain’t just tell me what I need to do. Don’t he know I’m grown!”

Fellas, I know you heart is in the right place when use these words. You’re thinking that you are helping. Hell, most of the time your woman asked you for you opinion in the first place. Take it from me, start with something else like:

“Why don’t you…”

“Maybe you can…”

“Have you thought about…”

The reason why men don’t get why this matters is because…

Read the rest on SaysTheSingleGirl.com

And if you can’t get enough of the SG stuff follow me on Twitter.com/The_Single_Girl

I never claimed to be an expert. That’s where a lot of dating and relationship bloggers get it wrong. I write about topics that come up with my girlfriends, the many men I‘ve dated or my brutally honest homeboys (who I group together under the character Manny). What a lot of so-called relationship columnist aim to do is save you. They put on a red cape and think the words they write will make your life better. Not the case with …Says The Single Girl.

What I do is present a different way of viewing things. I say what you wish you could. With STSG it is what it is.

Being a woman of color in the dating blogging game I‘m determined not to sell a bill of goods or ask my readers to join hands or get on our knees and pray for marriage, the white picket fence and 2.5 kids.

I never question why we are single. I know why I‘m single. I‘m single because I‘m not ready to do the things that make it easy for a man to be in my life. I‘m a little dramatic, not quite ready to play house, and like variety. It took me a long time to discover that answer. I implore you to do that same.

If you’ve stumbled across …Says the Single Girl in hopes of befriending an Amen Choir, keep looking.

What you won’t find here is my sob story, tales of my dates gone wrong or love lost.

You are going to love me one day, hate me the other, wish you had my “balls” the next and call me out in the street for a brawl on another.

I will guarantee this, you will be entertained!

- STSG

…Says the Single Girl is the latest blogger to join the HB Family

Catch her on HB every Monday and Wednesday!

For an unfiltered dose of STSG check out www.saysthesinglegirl.com!