1. Call me any name my parents did not give me: No matter how many times you yell it, I will not respond to “Psst,” “Shortay,” “Yo” “Ma,” and the like. I have a name and approaching me that way will ensure you never know what it is.

2. Refer to me by using a body part, complexion or hair texture: Men, if you call out a part of my body to identify me (i.e. “shorty with the fat butt,” “the short one” or “girl with the ‘fro”), it will just make me walk away faster. Sure I can put two and two together and figure out you’re talking to me. But guess what? I’m still not interested.

Click here to see the rest.

What are your pick up pet peeves?

Morning After: Follow Through Or Flee?

Is Long Distance The Wrong Distance?

What Is The Perfect Mixture Of Alcohol On A First Date?

The other morning my friend woke up and decided she was too hungover to go to work. I told her that she better think of a good excuse, call her boss, and follow up with an apologetic email. Within 2 minutes, she said her problem was solved and I didn’t hear her say one word. As it turns out, she text messaged her boss saying that she wouldn’t be in that day. That’s when I knew that text messaging cop outs are getting out of hand.

I’ve never been a huge texter. While it’s definitely convenient to confirm plans at the click of a few buttons, I prefer phone and email conversations over constant texting (it might also be because I am awful at using my new touch screen phone). I did a little investigating and found out what people around the office consider to be the most annoying text message cop outs.

1. Breaking up with someone: Seriously? Grow a pair and call it quits with someone in person. It’s not like you’ll ever have to see them again if you don’t want to.

2. Asking someone out: I’ll be honest. My first “boyfriend” was in 4th grade and he asked me to be his girlfriend by passing me a note in homeroom. While I was flattered back then, it’s a huge cop-out to make the big move through text message past elementary school.

3. Canceling plans: First of all, try not to cancel 5 minutes prior to your plans. If you have to resort to a “Sorry, I can’t make it” text, it’s probably last minute and the person is already waiting for you. Give him/her a call and reschedule.

4. Confronting with a problem: If you’re upset with that guy for that thing he did, he doesn’t want to hear about it in a 4 page text message. It really doesn’t affect him to read that you’re mad at him in a message where half of your feelings are written in short-hand. Make a plan to get coffee and have a civilized, face-to-face conversation about it. If confrontation really isn’t your style, write an email. There’s no 160 character limit and you can get out exactly what you need to without using abbreviations that really don’t make any sense.

Do you have any more text message cop out stories?

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

Morning After: Follow Through Or Flee?

People deal with breakups differently: you can hold tears back all day and splurge on a carton of ice cream at night or use that energy to go out and find another.  Does it make you a bad person if you skip the sadness stage and go right onto taking on rebounds?

I have heard both sides of this situation, and both sound pretty compelling.  On the one hand, it’s important to take some alone time and let yourself cry it out before letting your emotions go wild again.  On the other hand, you shouldn’t turn down possibly good opportunities because of something in the past.  It really comes down to whether or not breaking up is a drawn out process or if it’s just something that happens and should be dealt with quickly.

Family Dinner Night – Peruvian-Style – at Pio Pio

I’ve asked for opinions from both types of people, and these were their responses:

From the musical chairs lover- finding a new love as soon as the song stops:

“I don’t like being single.  Even if I’m not actively dating someone or seeing them everyday I need someone to say good morning or goodnight to or else I feel lonely.  Don’t get me wrong: I get really sad after break ups.  In fact, I put my all into relationships because I appreciate the connection so much.  But rather than force myself to go through complete misery after, I keep the sadness to a minimum and keep myself busy.  Interestingly, keeping myself busy generally means meeting lots of new people.  I by no means rebound crazy hard after break ups, but I find that meeting new people is what keeps me from feeling the most depressed.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get out there again: life’s about living.”

From the memory keeper- find life after love in yourself:

“After a break up I prepare myself to go into hibernation. Everything makes me sad and I’m not afraid to hide it.  I would rather get completely over one relationship than risk ruining another because of carried over feelings.  I always try to get myself to hang with my girls more but I find that I’m the most comfortable when I’m on my own just dealing with the problem rather than hiding from it.  I’ve heard that it usually takes about half of the time you were together to get over the person.  I’ve had it take less or more time depending on the relationship. I really think it’s all relative to the person but whoever says they are ready to start dating other people immediately is definitely lying and ruining future relationships.”

What do you think? Is there a middle ground? How do you get over break ups?

Going Abroad: Experiencing Men NOT Made In America

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

1. Awkward, stays pretty uncomfortable and uneventful, date ends in an awkward way.

2. Awkward, a few beers helps loosen things up and make it comfortable, date ends a little better.

3. Awkward, chugging mixed drinks makes things even more awkward, and date just… ends.

GET IT STRAIGHT

Everyone has had their share of first date horror stories, and alcohol seems to be a big factor that affects the turnout. Although mixing some buzz into a first date can be a risk, the pressure of the night might require some booze:

From the “met at a local restaurant that didn’t have a liquor license” first date: We had no clue that we wouldn’t be able to start the date off with a few stiff drinks. Although we were both clearly taken aback with the menu of solely sodas and juices, neither of us wanted to suggest going somewhere with alcohol and risk a bad/alcoholic first impression. We struggled through the date, asking the usual questions: Where do you work? What kinds of things do you like to do? We were both clearly interesting people, but we were also both extremely shy. Each of us could have definitely used an ice cold beer (or 3) by the time he was signing the check. Our date ended with a kiss on the cheek and “It was nice meeting you,” which was a total waste of my shaved legs and high heels.

From the “got a good wine buzz and loosened up a little” first date: It was definitely awkward while we both stood in the crowded front area of the restaurant waiting to be seated. As soon as we sat down and had a glass of wine, however, I felt a lot more comfortable about being on a blind date. We discussed the usual getting to know each other things, but I also found myself making jokes as he did the occasional “hand on my hand.” We called it a night after we finished a bottle of wine but we made plans to see each other again- I remember being satisfied with the turnout, but I definitely wished that we had hung out more after dinner.

From the “it turned into a shot challenge” first date: I was on a date after trying out online dating for the first time. We picked this new up-scale restaurant and had a pretty great time over some tapas and wine. After he signed the ridiculously expensive bill, I suggested that I buy him a drink at the cheap local bar next door. Needless to say, one beer turned into 3, which eventually turned into who can drink more shots? I found myself getting extremely wasted while he seemed to have control of himself, talking about my exes and how I want to have 3 kids, going to the bathroom and getting sick (partially on my new shoes), then laying on my bed an hour later sending him the tenth apology text message.

So our question to you is, what is the perfect mix of alcohol with a first date? It’s clear that not enough alcohol can keep both people on edge, while too much alcohol can give off the worst possible first impression. What drinks do you stick to when you’re going out with someone?

Breaking The Boundaries: Cross Cultural Dating

Going Abroad: Experiencing Men NOT Made In America

The Only Way To Actually Get Over Someone

Sex Cravings: Do Guys Always Want It More?

Big Purse: While a clutch might be more convenient and stylish for your night out, it won’t be able to properly fit all of your walk of shame essentials. Find a bag that’s big enough with secret compartments. You’ll be ready for an “unexpected” all-nighter without having to stop at the drug store on your way back!

Makeup Remover: Let’s face it, his bar soap just won’t do to get rid of your raccoon eyes, and smudged makeup is a huge no-no if you’re trying not to look like a train wreck on your walk home. Bring along some make up remover pads and you can freshen up your face right before you head out the door!

Sunglasses: The best way to hide your tired eyes (and half of your face if necessary) is by throwing on a pair of sunglasses that are large and in charge. Make sure that they’re cheap! The worst would be to leave your favorite pair at someone’s place that you were hoping to never have to walk back from again. Find a decent and cheap pair of hater-blockers to ward off the dirty looks and most importantly, remain anonymous.

Hair Tie: When you wake up and your hair manages to be going in every direction but you still feel like you can’t move, make sure you have a hair accessory to tame it down. Whether it’s a headband, hair clip, or hair tie that helps you manage, if your hair looks like a mess it’s pretty obvious that your night took some unexpected turns and tangles.

Breath Mints: Whether it’s alcohol or the late night munchies that you regret eating, morning breath is a dead give-away of a messy night. Throw some breath mints into your handy overnight bag and leave his apartment with the confidence to talk to whoever you see on the street. Want to be extra prepared? Toss a mini toothbrush into your bag and do a quick bathroom clean up before you head out- it’ll almost be like you’re ready for the real day!

Comfy Shoes: Even if you do manage to grab a t-shirt and shorts from him to wear on your walk instead of the wrinkled mini dress from last night, the combination of boys’ clothes with stilettos is a clear give-away. Toss a pair of flats into your bag and make your walk more comfortable and way less obvious.

Scarf: Your 9:00 pm attire of a cleavage hugging tank might not be the best for your 9:00 am walk home. What you wanted to flaunt the night before might be just what you need to hide in the morning. Throw some sort of scarf or cover up into your bag to keep your outfit up with the time of day.

So what do you say ladies? Will these tips help you on your next walk of shame? Do you have anymore suggestions? Are you in a more serious relationship and you can just leave these things at his place?

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

The Only Way To Actually Get Over Someone

Sex Cravings: Do Guys Always Want It More?

There are a few go-to products that you should keep around… ALWAYS.  Anti Bacterial wipes are a must.  Even if something isn’t sticky, wiping it up gets rid of the dust and makes everything shine.  Whether it’s a vacuum or a mop, keep something around to pick up the small things from the ground.  Crumbs start to add up and travel with you on the bottoms of your feet, spreading your dinner all over your floor.

Opening your curtains and letting light in automatically takes away from a stuffy and cluttered room.  Air the room out and take in some sunshine.  It helps you prioritize what needs to be cleaned and makes the room seem more airy.

Okay, so your place doesn’t smell awful, but it could definitely use some flowers to freshen up the air.  Always keep some fresh smelling candles around to light while you’re cleaning everything else.  They look pretty, smell nice, and lighten up the atmosphere.  I’ve also recently gotten into incense.  There are a ton of scent options, I like the smokiness that comes with it, and it makes room smell awesome immediately.

You should always have some snacks around for surprise visits.  Whether it’s cheese and crackers or fruit, always expect that people will want to munch.  There are also tons of easy, frozen appetizers that you can whip up in minutes.  Toss them in the microwave and carry on: you come off as an excellent chef and an awesome hostess!

We get it: your shower is your own space.  Why should you have to hide your baby wash and foot scrub? Invest in a cute and not see-through shower curtain. Your shower can be as cluttered as you want and your secret products that make you the best smelling girl out of the bunch will remain a secret!

Do you have any ideas for quick fixes for surprise visits? Any surprise visits go terribly wrong? Fill us in!

8 Places We Forget To Clean

5 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Clean

I have to admit, the idea of a “couple comeback” sounds incredibly romantic. The first time around you might have noticed the few parts about your guy that don’t fit as perfectly as your fingers do when you’re holding hands. That doesn’t always mean that you need to write him off forever. You’ve kept his letters scattered across your room for a reason. Take a few years apart and do your own thing. Dating other guys might just show you how compatible you and Guy #1 were. If you come back in two years and he is no longer careless and you are no longer anxious, you just might be able to get through the problems that were holding you back in the first place.

Sometimes, however, take-two at a relationship is not even worth it. Based on my own and my friends’ experiences, there are definitely a few “relationship no-no’s” that are not even worth sticking your feet in again. For example, if he was abusive or too aggressive toward you, it’s probably not worth the effort to try again. While people can definitely get through their aggressive behavior, it’s not a good idea to go back to a relationship that scarred you.

You generally know when a relationship is actually said and done. Your intense chemistry with your ex might not fade as quickly as you’d like it to. You still might want to share your details with him rather than the new guy that you’ve been going on some dates with. Use your breakup as time to explore, learn, and grow. If you see a future for some re-romance, go for it- you’ve already experienced a painful breakup and have grown from it. You might just find a great relationship hidden in the break-up and make-up.

What are your thoughts on re-romancing? Is it best to just cut people out and never look back? Or do you think that you should be open to people changing and relationships working out the second time around?

How To Balance “Bro-mance” Versus “Romance”

Why Single Women Are Okay With Sharing Someone Else’s Man

How To Date Multiple People (And Get Away With It!)

“So you know that guy Nick on the swim team? Well he came over last night after we’d both been off doing our own thing. I didn’t realize how much he’d drank until we were making out and he leaned over me to vomit all over my bed and rug.”

Travel Tips: The Three Outfits Every Man Must Have

Needless to say, we immediately bagged her bedspread and took it right over to the dry cleaners. He offered to take it to get cleaned himself after he took her out to breakfast, but all she wanted to do was complain to her girlfriends and get the stench out of her nose. While having a guy spend the night is generally exciting, Jill definitely learned a few do’s and don’t's of sleepovers with drunk boys.

DO: Try to get a gauge of how much he drank that night. You don’t want to do anything that either of you will regret in the morning. Also, you don’t want to wake up with his dinner spread out on your pillow.

DON’T: Don’t be afraid to ask him to leave. If he’s one of those “came to a party at your house and doesn’t seem to want to go” kind of people, simply tell him that you have an early morning and it’s time for him to head out. OR, call one of your girlfriends who’s close by and ask her to show up pretending that she needs you for something important. The last thing he wants to do is get involved in some sort of girl problem.

DO: Offer him the couch if you feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. Just because he’s drunk and made the trip all the way to your place at 3am doesn’t mean that you owe him anything. If you have a change of heart and feel nervous about sending him to wander back to his place wasted, toss him in the living room and get your beauty sleep!

DON’T: Don’t make the drunken sleepovers a habit if you find that you actually like the guy. Make it a point to hang out sober and get to know him better. Just because your first encounter might have been an ‘oops’ and resulted in a walk of shame doesn’t mean that you can only hang out at 3am after you’ve both gone and done your own thing. Turn your sleepovers into slumber parties and make your time together more personal.

I’ve still never met “throw up boy” personally, but when I see him around campus all I can picture and smell is his vomit in my trunk.

Fill us in, girls! Do you have any sleepover horror stories? What do you do: kick him out the night of or let him stay over and possibly wait for a breakfast invitation?

HELP! My Boyfriend Is Making Me Fat!

7 Ways To Glam Up Your Walk Of Shame

This is a snapshot of why it is important to manage your online presence. In an effort to help steer you in the right direction, here are 7 Tips of Social Media Etiquette:

1. Status Updates: Posting content that relates to your area of study can position you as a candidate that stays current in his/her area of expertise. Including links to content solidifies that you’re actively identifying valuable content to share with your community.

2. Checking-In: Location-based check-ins such as Foursquare or Facebook Places can be a great way to connect with people in the real world. Your check-ins communicates a lot about you as a person, your lifestyle, the places you frequent and the time you visit those locations. Make sure what you’re sharing reflects what you want to communicate to the outside world.

3. Profanity on Facebook Wall: A recent study by Reppler, which studied 30K Facebook users, identified that 47% of Facebook walls contain profanity. Be sure to monitor and manage your Facebook wall because what’s there communicates a lot about your personal brand to potential employers—even if it’s your friends who are posting the profanity on your wall.

For the rest of these helpful tips, click here!

Online Stalking: Helpful Or Hindering?

Top 4 Most Annoying Text Message Cop-Outs

I’m not saying you have to be sitting at the edge of your seat, sweating as the timer on the TV approaches zero and your favorite player gets on the field, but let yourself soak up the energy in the room and cheer your heart out when the rest of the people in the sports bar go crazy. There’s nothing more attractive to a guy than when his girlfriend is enthusiastic about something that he loves. Rather than separating his passion for sports from his passion for you, he can combine the two things that he loves.

And if sports REALLY aren’t your thing, just think: there’s more to it than statistics and teams. There are hot players, cute jerseys that you can make into fun outfits, wings, and beer. Soak up the parts of the sporting experience that you love and your guy will really enjoy bringing you out with his bros to watch the game. Rather than sitting in the corner and texting your girlfriend about how rowdy the bar is, indulge in drinking games that have something to do with football. It’s a win/win situation: You get to drink, have fun, spend time with your guy and, of course, learn how the game works!

HELP! My Boyfriend Is Making Me Fat!

7 Ways To Glam Up Your Walk Of Shame

From the “Everyone Needs Their Own Cave” girl: Whether it’s a calender of girls in bikinis or every possible video game known to mankind, men have their own ways of decorating their crash spot. While you might not appreciate their favorite jerseys hung up in the kitchen, leaving their mancave up to them can give you both a sense of independence in your own home. Let him make the basement his own and you will get in fewer arguments about your living arrangements. When he needs to just kick it and do his own thing, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable when he goes to the basement to play some pool rather than the local bar. And let’s face it, if he’s going to come home with greasy take out, dirty shoes, and his best guy friends after shooting some hoops, you’d much rather have them enjoy it in his comfort spot rather than on the white living room couches that you just had dry-cleaned.

From the “Moving In Together Means Sharing All Of Your Space” girl: If you’re moving in together but you still need designated spots of your own, then you’re not ready to move in together. You should design your house together in a way that both of you are comfortable. Setting up your home so that you can be apart from each other when you can’t stand each other is definitely NOT starting off on the right foot. Instead, make your whole home a comfort zone for both of you and you will find that your entire house is your escape.

What are your thoughts on mancaves? It seems to make sense that your own space can provide a sanctuary for you to just kick back. But then again, is designing a mancave setting you up for a relationship with separation and necessary space apart? Fill us in on what you think!!

Online Stalking: Helpful Or Hindering?

Why It’s Important To Enjoy Sports With Your Man (And How To Start Trying To)

Growing up, us ladies are always warned that guys only want one thing.  Although that seems to be true, should they ever be warned the same thing? Lots of girls complain that they seem to want more in the bedroom than their man.  Does this mean that we want too much? Or maybe that guys sometimes want it less?

My friend Liz started telling me about her recent problems in the bedroom.  Whether or not his new and demanding job has anything to do with it, Liz is unhappy that he seems to be less aroused.  She feels as though she is asking for it, whereas she used to be the one being tossed into bed before her shoes came off.  “Am I doing something wrong?” She started buying more expensive panties and researching for more tricks in bed. I told her to hold off on criticizing herself until she knows what his deal is.

My next question was whether or not the sex was as good when it finally happened.  She said that in fact, the sex was probably better because she had to fight him for it. She told him exactly what she wanted and when he wasn’t going after her, she took it from him.  She found herself daydreaming about sex all day because she knew it wouldn’t just be given to her when she got home.  I suggested that she have the dreaded conversation with him and just tell him how she feels.

She confronted him saying, “Why don’t you initiate sex anymore?” He replied that of course he still enjoys having sex with her and once they get going he can’t get enough.  The fact is, he is really exhausted after work.  He looks forward to talking about his day more and relaxing with his girl rather than immediately going at each other. Liz was shocked, flattered, and extremely turned on by this reply.  After understanding his position a little better, Liz was able to control her cravings and did her best to make him feel as relaxed as possible until he threw her over his shoulders and carried her to bed.

Even after hearing this story, I still can’t imagine a mom telling her son, “Be careful of that girl, she’s only after your dignity…” So what does this say about men? Do you ever feel like you want it more than he does?

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

Sex Gone Wrong: Bedroom Mishaps

From the girl who wants to get rid of the past and move on:
After a dramatic breakup, the last thing you want to do is meet up with your ex again to return each others’ belongings. You could always do the old “throw it in a garbage bag and leave it outside your door.” I say you try to gather as much of his stuff that you can find and leave it somewhere for him that’s far away from you. When you happen to come across his favorite t-shirt 2 months down the line, throw it away. Or maybe sell it depending on how much it’s worth.

From the memory keeper who thinks that everything happens for a reason:
There’s a reason that you stumble across his Valentine’s Day card six months later. Maybe it’s not fate and a sign that you should date again, but it could be a reminder of your past. Getting rid of every memory with an ex also gets rid of positive memories, memories that you might like to look back on. Maybe looking at that old movie ticket stub will remind you of how much you’ve grown since your relationship. Just because you’ve thrown away all of the physical parts of your relationship doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen: keeping memories doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re dwelling on the past, there’s a lot of room for reflection as well.

Let it out ladies: Are you a “throw it in the fire” kind of girl? Or are you a “use memories to reflect” kind of girl?

Top 4 Most Annoying Text Message Cop-Outs

Is It Possible To Re-Do Romance?

How To Balance “Bro-mance” Versus “Romance”

The guy that she recently started dating, however, likes to separate his “guy time” and “girlfriend time”. BUT, this doesn’t mean that she needs to kick him to the curb and find a more romantic guy. We talked and tried to figure out what the right amount of “bro-mance” time versus “romance” time is.

The first thing I did was explain to her the importance of “bro-mances” to men. Just because they’re spending time with their guys does not mean that they are going to break up with you. There’s no need to constantly call and text him asking about his plans. Having time to “bro out” can actually be extremely healthy for relationships. You have more to talk about, and let’s be real- you’d rather him be hanging out with his best guy  friends than getting drinks with the new lady at work.

But how much “bro-mance” is too much? When he is choosing to play poker with the guys 5 days out of the week, it’s time to step in and ask for a little more “loving time”. If you can squeeze yourself into a game of black jack with him and the guys, that’s great! But don’t go dealing cards where they don’t belong. You don’t want to start showing up everywhere and have his guys get annoyed of you. When my friend showed up at one of the guys’ golf games, she felt completely out of place and definitely heard the snide comments: “uhh dude, what’s she doing here?”

Most importantly, keep in mind what his “bro-mance” time can mean for you. Use this time to pamper yourself or plan a girls’ night out. Just because he wants to hang out with the guys on Friday night doesn’t mean that you need to stay in by yourself. The most healthy relationships have a balance between romantic time and friend time.

What are your thoughts on “bro-mances”? How do you stay in a healthy relationship while still giving him room to breathe? How much room is too much room? Fill us in!

1. Stay away from dating people who are friends. Dating multiple people at once can get tricky, especially with the “6 degrees of separation” thing – everyone knows each other nowadays! You wouldn’t want to get caught and ruin their friendship at the same time!

2. Don’t get screwed over by technology. As much as computers and cell phones help us, they can also ruin a potentially good thing. So, use last names in your cell phone! The worst would be to accidentally text the wrong Mike that you had a great time last night. Or to schedule a date with Mike and realize that it is the wrong Mike as he’s walking toward you at the movies.

More along the lines of technology, be aware of the power of social media. I’m sure John would NOT be happy to see you checking into romantic dates with Sam. Social networking websites are meant to put you out there and connect you to other people, so be careful about the information that you’re giving away!

3. Make sure that you still have girl’s nights out. I find this to be the most important part of dating multiple people. Don’t let casual dating interfere with your friendships. When it comes down to it, your gals are your main people. You might be racking up on awful first date stories, but you don’t want to miss out on friendship memories. Along the same lines, make sure you reserve some time in your busy schedule for “me” time. You’ll probably do a lot of eating out if you’re dating so much, so give yourself time to go to the gym and catch up on the latest episodes of Sex and the City.

So what do you say? Go a little crazy this summer and date a few extra people. Just be smart about it and don’t let yourself be the one alone at the end. As much fun as it is to get pampered by three different guys, keep an eye out for the real thing. When you feel that spark, don’t throw it away just to keep dating other people.

Do you have any other tips for dating multiple people? How about horror stories from racking up too many men at once?

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

Let’s say you want out… now: Leaving in a hurry could be a really bad decision.  Unless the night was a COMPLETE mistake, you should probably give him a heads up.  What if you try to make a quick getaway and pull a Cinderella by leaving something behind  that could lead him to you? Even if this isn’t someone that you ever want to see again, let him know.  You don’t want him to think you’re interested and continue to contact you until you have to block his number.  Pull the “late for a meeting” excuse and jet.  The easiest way to avoid future contact without sounding completely rude is by avoiding giving out your contact information.

Is Long Distance The Wrong Distance?

You had fun? Keep it going without coming off as clingy: If this is someone that you like and want to see again, you want to let him know without seeming too serious too fast.  Throw on his dress shirt and get both of you some coffee.  Have a small breakfast together and leave.  Don’t stay for too long, and he will probably want to get dinner with you later that night.  This is when you might want to pull a Cinderella.  If you’re feeling adventurous, leave behind a little something (make up, scarf) that he will hold onto until you see each other again.

Unsure? Need some more time? Give yourself a few days so that you don’t keep doing the same thing then regretting it.  Make a plan for later in the week and see how you feel until then.  Use that time to try to figure out his deal and decide if it’s something that you want to pursue.  Just remember that one drunken night doesn’t make you obligated to see him again- It’s important to do what you want to.

3 Important Conversations To Have Before Committing To A Relationship

Let’s say that you were set up with a friend of a friend, who is apparently just your type (whatever that even means). You do a quick facebook/linkedin/twitter search for him in the taxi on your way there and find that he is successful, single, and loves to travel- he IS your type! Your date is going so well: he’s telling you about his vacation to Mexico that you already stalked and about his family that you’ve already seen photos of. He raves about his job position that you’ve already looked up and talks about his goals that you already could have predicted. He begins to tell you about this cool app that you can get on your phone and says he can install it for you. Before you realize what’s happening, he opens your browser and sees that every window open has something to do with his life.

AWKWARD, right? There’s literally no excuse besides… “Oh I put in your name to read about your company and came across all of your social networking sites instead, so I clicked around…” Then he also realizes that you already knew about everything that he told you over dinner and that all of your surprised and amazed reactions were rehearsed and fake. Although this might not be a deal breaker, he has definitely caught you red-handed with your bad stalking habits.

What are your thoughts on internet stalking? Does it take away from the fun of trying something new? Does it prepare you well for to expect- after all, a little online search MIGHT just reveal something important about the person you’re about to meet… criminal record anyone?!

HELP! My Boyfriend Is Making Me Fat!

7 Ways To Glam Up Your Walk Of Shame

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Is September really here? Are Labor Day plans the next on your agenda? It’s time to wrap up your summer with a bang. Was there something that you were avoiding all summer? There has to be something that you’ve been wanting to do but have been putting off until the time seems “more right”.  What better time than when the summer nights are cooling down and the bathing suits are almost going back into the drawer?

Whether it’s a crazy hair cut or roadtripping to another state to see that special someone… let’s wrap this summer up right.  The worst would be to finally be ready to take that crazy jump off the airplane as soon as it starts raining every other day.  Or finally being ready to see the cutie that you’ve had your eye on and the busy work schedule picks up again.

We are going to use this fall and winter to reflect on our amazing summers and prepare for an even crazier one next year: so give yourself something to smile about when you’re snowed in with nothing but hot chocolate and unbelievable summer memories.

So what do you say ladies? It’s now or never: let that last bit of crazy out.

Summer Guide: Bike Your Way Through The Heat

Savor The Last Of The Beach Weather

In today’s world, people communicate virtually more than they do in person.  Whether it’s the phone, email, or texting, there are plenty of ways to convey your thoughts to people.  Why not convey some heat? People are generally against racy text messages because of the fear of other people gaining access to them.  However, once you put that fear aside, it becomes clear that “sexting” can add excitement to both yours and your partner’s life, making time when you’re not together as enjoyable as possible.

Received: I forgot to wear panties today! See you after work.

You can’t help but smile.  Being able to impact your partner when you’re not together is one of the most important parts of a relationship.  What better way to do that than give him a little excitement during his work day?  An unexpected sex text is sure to bring some butterflies to both of your stomachs.  We have evolved from messages in bottles to picture messaging, opening up our options.  It’s possible to use sexting as a game: send a little seduction on your way home from work and make walking through that front door worth every minute. So what do you say? Broaden your horizons and make his work day a little more PG-13.

Sexting has proven to make long distance relationships a bit more bearable.  If it isn’t enough that you’re constantly thinking about that person who’s 1,170 miles away, you are probably also very sexually frustrated.  SO IS HE. Help each other out and make that distance seem like a walk.

But be careful- you still need protection. You don’t want to put yourself in a position that you will regret later.  If either of you work in an office where email could possibly be monitored, stick to your cell phone.  If it’s an office phone, get a personal one: It’ll be worth it! Keep sexting specific to that special person that you trust.  Avoid photos that make it easy to identify yourself.  It is definitely possible to keep even text sex classy!

Is Love Necessary For A Marriage To Work?

10 Marriage Rules You Should Break

First of all, make yourself a time line. People start to stress out when they realize that they’re still behind on their list by Labor Day. BUT, Summer does not technically end until September 21st, so give yourself some breathing room.

Organize your time line based on what is actually possible. It’s probably not smart to plan all of your beach trips, concerts, and amusement park visits in the same few weeks. It gets tiring and overwhelming. Instead, save the beach days for the hot and sunny days in August and go to the outdoor night concerts throughout the summer. Learn to make new dishes weekly instead of burying yourself in recipes until nothing actually sounds appetizing anymore. Work out a few times a week instead of forcing your body to re-mold itself in 6 days.

So what do you say? Let’s empty out our bucket lists and feel like we accomplished something come September. Planning ahead will let you get more done and enjoy yourself more while you’re doing it.

Do you have any other tips for having a productive summer? Help us out!

Seasonal Insider Secrets: Tips From Rachel Roy Herself

How To Avoid Negative Summer Temptations

We threw out the question: Why are lasting marriages becoming extinct? Our supporters responded with their meaningful thoughts and experiences:

Shayla Marie Anderson said that “Sometimes your marriage is going to blissful and then some days… [it] will make u crazy!.. but you’re a team you work it out and move a head.”

Towanda Cotman noted that “HELLO BEAUTIFUL I’m old school and I [believe] women don’t take the time to know what the men really need. Men…If we learn each other and earn each other… it will be a better outcome… it’s not all about sex… Look at him and her and say is he/she whom I want to grow old with have children with travel the world with.What can he bring out in me that I didn’t no exist.” Towanda got a ton of “likes” from our audience on that comment! She even gave a personal story to our audience and said discussed her marriage experience: “I tried to salvage my marriage after the storm but he talked as if he wanted us to make it but his reaction and counter reactions showed me [different].” Our team was sure to give her lots of love.

Natasha Brown put it well when she said “Simple …. no communication, no respect, no trust, no effort , and plain selfishness!” Team Beautiful gave her a lot of love for that one also!

Simone Natalie Whiteman-Lynch agreed and said that “Different people…different reasons. I think that people don’t understand [marriage] takes constant upkeep. A woman will pay to get her hair done on the regular but won’t connect with her husband for free. We let the world get in the way of our marriage.”

Ronda Williams was sorry to note that “Two people may think they know each other but it takes more than just sex, kisses and hand holding. Like starting on a new job, it’s a learning process until you have all together. It takes patience, communication, trust, respect, understanding, love but most of all GOD in your life.”

People definitely backed up Lorretta Denise Sirmans when she said “[People] are forgetting why [they] got [together] in the 1st place. What  you did to get them, is what you and to do to keep them. Communicate, laugh at their jokes, even if dare not funny, b romantic n [spontaneous], kid around like u did when u 1st got 2gether. Make him/her your best friend and share everything…. But the most important thing is never go 2 bed angry always [forgive] each other and say you love them, [because] [they] might [not] wake up 2morrow.”

Thanks for all of these incredible responses, Team Beautiful! We look forward to hearing more about what you think and sharing it with the rest of our audience.

Do you want to get in on these conversations? Like us on Facebook and Follow us @HelloBeautiful on Twitter: we love hearing your opinions!

Let’s Stay Together: Why Are Lasting Marriages Becoming Extinct?

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

4 Love Lessons You Learned In Elementary School

There are a few must haves for an enjoyable girls night in. Here are a few things that we here at HelloBeautiful are sure to have when we host girls’ nights in!

Instead of going with the cheap beers and terrifyingly strong mixed drinks that you order at bars, use your girls’ night in to have some fruity and delicious drinks with your gals. But rather than getting into a messy fight with your blender, try one of TGI Friday’s pre-mixed cocktails. Friday’s does the messy work for you by making your cocktail ready-to-drink. Here at the office, some of our favorites are the Mudslide, the Long Island Iced Tea, the Pina Colada, and the Margarita. Jazz up your cocktails with some fun glasses and twisty straws: you can never be too girly at girls’ night!

When you’re picking the movie for the night, keep in mind that you want to keep the mood light and fun. Rather than going with the sappy love movie that will result in a room full of crying girls, try some fun-loving movies like John Tucker Must Die, Mean Girls, or The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

It’s always good to keep some board games around for your girls’ night in to make sure that there’s not a second without something to do. Some games that keep the night going but aren’t too serious are Taboo and Twister.

What do you do for your girls’ nights in? Let us know!

Hangover Cures: Drink Without Guilt

Sex Gone Wrong: Bedroom Mishaps

Rather than using a crazy roller coaster ride or the mood of a teenager going through life changes to explain the changing stock values, the Post chose a hooker and her panties.

The Post used the headline: Crazy stox like a hooker’s drawers.. up, down, up.

What do you think of this cover? Do hookers even wear panties?!

Click here to read the article that this photo was supposed to represent.

What A Downgrade Of U.S. Rating Means In Plain English

Beyonce, Rihanna, Mariah Carey & More Come Together To Help Feed East Africa

Watch The Video of Soledad talking about personal stories about specific girls that this foundation helped:

One thing that O’Brien appreciated from her experiences in this foundation is the small amount of effort that is required to truly influence someone. She found that by just assisting others with a some money and some positive thoughts, she was able to help them excel to the point that ivy league school became within reach for them. She notes that “The core [of the foundation] is to get young women to and through school.”

Soledad O’Brien and her husband Brad Raymond treat these young girls as they do their own kids. Soledad proudly states that she does what she can to make their dreams reality, just as she does for her own kids.

Soledad will be hosting an event this Friday August 12, 2011 at 7P in Bridgehampton, New York.

Women In The World: How To Surpass The Global Limitations On Women

Women In The World: Modern-Day Slavery & Human Trafficking

Women In The World: Why Are So Many Pregnant Women At Risk?

Women In The World: Why Does Female Circumcision Still Exist?

From “long distance is completely the wrong distance and it’s not even worth trying”: The worst case scenario would be if you tried to make an amazing relationship work long distance and you end up resenting each other. You go from having something so perfect and all of a sudden the texts are less frequent, the phone calls are boring, your video chats just aren’t cutting it, and the mix-tape he made you makes you want to vomit. The good butterflies that you used to get in the morning turn into stomach aches and you spend all your free time refreshing his Facebook page to stalk every pretty girl that adds him as a “friend”. How do they know each other? Why did she write that on his wall? God I wish I could see what he wrote back. You’ve entered crazy territory when you consider making a fake profile to friend her.

Rather than ever letting it get to this point, you should just enjoy a good thing while it lasts. Summer flings are just that- flings. If you have great chemistry together and you see each other as “the one,” then agree to keep each other in mind until you have reached the point where long distance isn’t necessary. There’s no point in trapping each other in a summer relationship when the seasons are changing. If it was meant to be, you will remain as a part of each others lives without having the title. When the time is right, everything will turn out the way that it should.

From “when you have something good, don’t take it for granted and make it work“: This girl is a huge fan of our piece How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work. Just because you are going back to your daily grind doesn’t mean that you have to stop being a part of each others lives. In fact, staying together after the summer might make the rest of the year more bearable. Okay, so maybe you won’t be able to go to every happy hour together. And he won’t be able to come over to kill that giant bug that managed to get inside. Bottom line is, if you really fell for each other, he will still be there to give you the main emotional support that you need. Also, long distance relationships can be pretty healthy. You had your summer of sex and the city, and now you can go back to your usual lifestyle. However, this time you’ll have an awesome guy to call/text/tweet/skype whenever you need some romance time.

What do you think? Are long distance relationships worth it? Or should we stick to dating people that we can see more?

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

4 Love Lessons You Learned In Elementary School

Today, in an effort to understand the the difficulty of finding suitable arrangements for women who are suffering around the world, we will discuss refugee camps. As you learned in our article discussing females and the crisis in the Congo, women are often not safe in their own homes during times of war. They are displaced from their homes frequently due to the violence that comes to their area. In an effort to rescue women and children from the uncontrollable violence, many groups have funded refugee camps in safer areas of the Congo. However, this article will show that refugee camps, while they are an attempt to provide a sanctuary for survivors and potential victims of violence, can actually be extremely unsafe.

Think about it this way: rebel armies attack these groups of people in an effort to display their control and power. When large groups of Congolese people are in a concentrated area, rebels have a smaller area to destroy. Criminals are able to rob the refugee camps and then simply burn the remains.

The reason that the people in refugee camps are still vulnerable is because these camps are not completely safe as it is. They are often unsanitary and overpopulated, contributing to diseases. When these refugee camps under attack by rebel forces, there are not many resources to allow the victims to fight back. For example, it is not uncommon that you would find a refugee camp that does not have lights or electricity. Without these essential resources in an already dangerous area, women and children are again vulnerable to the uncontrollable violence of the rebels.

The idea of refugee camps is incredible: These settlements provide a temporary home and necessary human needs for people who have suffered through similar crises. Rather than fleeing into the forest with no plan, people are able to stay in these camps until it is safe to return to their homes. However, the camps need to be designed in such a way that is safe and sustainable. For example, if a mother has to leave the camp and enter dangerous territory in order to get all of the necessary supplies for dinner, she is still susceptible to rape and robbery. If refugee camps had all of the necessary supplies to sustain a family, people would not have to leave the camp grounds until it is safe. Locks and electricity would serve as defense supplies. Rebel groups seek to display ruthless violence against anybody not of their kind, regardless of whether they are in a refugee camp or not.

Click here to watch a tour of a home in a refugee camp.

Women In The World: How To Surpass The Global Limitations On Women

Women In The World: Modern-Day Slavery & Human Trafficking

Women In The World: Why Do Women Have To Fight To Drive?

Women In The World: Why Are Brides Being Burned After Their Marriages?

Women In The World: Why Are So Many Pregnant Women At Risk?

Women In The World: Why Does Female Circumcision Still Exist?

The most important part of a LDR is to be on the same page as your partner.  The relationship is bound to fail if the two of you want different things.  You should come up with some sort of plan of what you need from each other and decide the best to go about being there for each other.

Make your presence obvious. I have found that small surprises are simple ways to bring about a smile, no matter how many miles apart you are.  Something that never fails is ordering a pizza to be delivered to him wherever he is.  Send a text giving him a little heads up: Already tipped the driver, enjoy!  Everybody loves a surprise pizza.  If the pizza guy isn’t being difficult, try to get them to write something on it with a topping.

Reach out to his friends. When he and his friends are out at the bars, make them want him to focus on you.  The worst would be for you to come off as “that girlfriend that lives 1,170 that keeps Steve from having any fun.” Make his friends look forward to your visits also.  It’ll make him feel luckier to have you around when his bros approve of you. You will have to put in a bit more work on your end (asking about his friends, keeping in touch with them) but you will feel a lot more comfortable when you’re not together and you’ll have a lot more fun when you visit.

Give each other small memories: When the going gets tough, something as small as the smell of your partner can be comforting.  Wear his t-shirts to bed and keep a photo in your purse.  If you guys care about each other enough, a small reminder of you will be enough to keep him wanting more and keep working towards the two of you.

Let’s Text About Sex, Baby

Schedule LD Dates: It’s still possible to do things together despite the oceans and states separating you.  Look up when movies are playing that you would normally watch together.  Schedule a time that you would watch it at the same time.  You will feel closer and you’ll have something to talk about after.  Try to video chat.  Seeing each other is a big part of dating someone, so take lots of pictures and send them to each other.  You see a cool motorcycle on the street that you know he wants? Picture message it to him and tell him you can’t wait to ride on it with him.  It’s important to remind each other that you’re thinking about each other. Another way of doing this is writing each other love letters.  A physical note is something that you can keep in your wallet and look at when you need a little strength to keep going.

Find the perks of LDR: It’s obviously awesome to see each other every day, but sometimes you run out of things to talk about.  Spend time with your friends and family and remember funny stories to tell each other later.  The best feeling is talking at the end of the day and hearing nothing but excitement when you have so much to say to each other.

Enforce healthy lifestyles for each other: It’s hard to impact each other’s daily actions when you don’t see each other.  Set up competitions: Who can run the most miles a week? Who can eat a healthier lunch? Find a good book and read it at the same time.   It’s important to make sure that you still have a positive impact on your partner no matter how far away he is.

Make your time together worth it: If you guys trust each other enough, you will feel nothing but excitement on that plane ride to go see him.  Don’t hide your feelings and make sure that you talk everything through in a civil manner so that when you see him, you have nothing but butterflies- the good kind.

The most important way to have a successful LDR is to have faith and hope in your relationship and in each other.  It is by no means easy, but put your strength together and you can definitely make it.

What are your experiences of LDRs? Yay or nay?

Should A Woman Ask A Guy Out On A Date?

4 Love Lessons You Learned In Elementary School

After working so hard on your body all year to rock your summer outfits, you don’t want to get distracted this late in the game.  Let’s face it: barbecues, campfires, cocktails, and picnics can really take a toll on your newly toned stomach.  Take a step back and follow these simple tips to enjoy the perks of the summer while still taking care of your bod.

You are going to be handed burgers and hot dogs left and right.  Swap your white buns for some wheat buns and carry on.  This simple solution keeps your food tasting great while adding more fiber and protein to your meal.  Go the whole nine yards when it comes to wheat: swap your normal pasta for whole grain pasta and keep your pasta salad tasting great!  When you go out to eat, ask for brown rice instead of white rice.  This doesn’t cost more and it makes a big part of your meal much healthier.

It’s not even worth it to try to convince yourself to say no to dessert.  It’s hot and you deserve it. But wait: you have options! Say no to the ice cream sundae and go for some frozen yogurt instead.  It’s just as delicious and comes in different flavors, but has fewer calories than regular ice cream. Another option is popsicles.  Fruit freezes are delicious, healthy, and satisfying.  You can eat them on the go and enjoy whichever fruit you’re in the mood for.

When mixing your own drinks at parties, pay attention to your options.  Choose the mixer with less sugar and enjoy your buzz.  Sometimes people mix a lot more than they intended- use some ice in your drink to slow down and cool off.  You will know exactly when to stop and you will feel the refreshing perks of your iced summer cocktail.

All social summer occasions involve food.  When you’re around other people who are eating, you will grab a handful of whatever is around to munch on. Chances are that this snack is not as healthy as it could be.  Keep a little something in your bag for the small social occasions that you would otherwise find yourself eating chips and candy at. Something that always works is trail mix: there are so many different types with a variety of healthy snacks in them.

Who would have thought that being careful could feel so good? Follow these tips and give a little to get A LOT: keep that beach bod lookin’ hot while enjoying the summer and everything that comes with it.

5 Everyday Rituals For A More Meaningful Life

3 Easy Ways To Improve Your Sleep Habits

-Don’t be mean to him just because he has “cooties”: Okay, so maybe that quiet boy at the corner of the table wasn’t exactly the outgoing class clown that sat next to you. But just as your mom always reminded you, don’t exclude others for no reason. Nowadays, it’s often the case that the loudmouth at the bar that’s coming onto you hard actually turns out to be a complete moron and the chill co-worker next to him is the golden one.

-Don’t only hang out with girls: Even though “boys go to Jupiter to get more stupid-er and girls to go Mars to become rock stars,” doesn’t mean that you should only hang out with girls all the time. When your mom forced you to invite everyone in your class to your birthday party (even though there would be boys there!!!), she was just trying to train you to get along with both genders. Jupiter could actually be pretty fun and could provide a pretty good break from all the glam of Mars. Today, I don’t know where I would be without my guy friends and I know that I would definitely go crazy if I only knew how to socialize with girls!

-Don’t be TOO mean to the boys: Okay, so maybe you used to get your kicks out of being in the castle of the playground with all of the little girls and making faces at and teasing the boys down below. Your teacher would remind you that it’s important to play with everyone, but it was so much more fun ragging on the boys with your fellow ladies! This idea is parallel to playing hard to get in today’s world. While it can be entertaining to make a guy chase you for a little while, they might lose interest and you could be the one alone in the end.

-Don’t let the boys be mean to you either: Most importantly, we were taught to have respect for ourselves when we were younger. If that boy decides to tease you at recess, just ignore him and realize that you’re better than that (plus, chances are that he probably has a crush on you). Instead of fighting back and getting into trouble, remind yourself that he’s wrong and just being a huge jerk. Similarly, when your stupid idiot ex boyfriend decides to cheat on you, your mom will tell you to take the high road and move on. Rather than mean tweeting him or leaving angry voice mails, just ignore him and pretend that it doesn’t bother you. The less affected you are by them, the less exciting it is for them to be mean to you.

So what do you say? Let’s not throw all of that elementary school education out the window! What else have you learned early on in your life that helped you manage later?

7 Ways To Glam Up Your Walk Of Shame

Sex Cravings: Do Guys Always Want It More?

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

As noted in our piece entitled Women In The World: Why Is Female Labor Not Being Rewarded?, many societies find female labor to be less beneficial than male labor, limiting females’ access to jobs and payments. However, it has actually been proven that investing in education and supplies for females will actually yield positive return in the future. Micro financing is a type of service in which groups lend money or supplies to poorer people to help them start their own businesses. This is different from simply donating money to people because it is a loan that goes towards a specific plan for the future. The point is that women use loans from micro financing groups to purchase supplies for something that they are good at, such as felt and needles for embroidery. Women plan and execute a way to use their loan so that they can slowly pay their loan back as they simultaneously build a business that can last.

With a negative stigma attached to them, women often find themselves living at the mercy of their male counterparts. In our piece entitled Women In The World: Why Are Brides Being Burned After Their Marriages?, we showed you how many women are murdered solely because of their gender and their place in society. Women have a separate set of expectations to live up to than men, and often find themselves in danger when they cannot provide what they are supposed to. When women are considered “lesser” than men, they do not have access to equal medical benefits, putting their health and lives at higher risk than men. Further, gender discrimination in third world countries allows for women to become sex slaves for their owners. As we discuss in Women In The World: Modern-Day Slavery & Human Trafficking, women are further hindered from achieving their full potential when they are stripped of their rights and dignity.

Fortunately, like micro financing, programs have been set up to rescue women from these unfortunate circumstances. In addition to providing women with money, it has been proven that educating women around the world can lead to major changes in the global poverty realm. With education, women are able to earn money and become autonomous. They are able to pursue their own goals without worrying about their male counterparts. Statistics show that often, when poor families are run by men, the money is spend on products such as alcohol and prostitution. However, when women are in charge of the household finances, it has been shown that they spend the small amount of money that they have on nutrition and housing, which lays the pavement for a better future for the family.

Overall, micro financing for women and educating women are key to benefiting women and the whole global order. By effectively equipping women with the tools and education necessary for being independent, it has been proven that women will contribute more to actually sustaining positive changes. Educating women and micro financing are unique because rather than just donating money to a developing country in general, it’s important to invest your money in objectives that will help the country grow in the future. Simply tossing in money to solve one problem does not help lay the foundation for improvement, rather it gets used for problems that need severe restructuring.

Nicholas Kristof is one of my favorite authors and role models: check out more details about women and fighting poverty in his book Half The Sky.

Women In The World: Modern-Day Slavery & Human Trafficking

Women In The World: Why Do Women Have To Fight To Drive?

Women In The World: Why Are Brides Being Burned After Their Marriages?

Women In The World: Why Are So Many Pregnant Women At Risk?

Women In The World: Why Does Female Circumcision Still Exist?