What you’ll need for this workout: A set of 3- to 8-pound dumbbells, a resistance band, and a straight-backed chair

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Bra Strap Lift

Targets: Shoulders and chest

1. Holding one end of a resistance band in each hand, palms facing in, stand tall with feet shoulder-width apart so that both feet are placed securely on middle of band.

2. With palms facing each other, raise extended arms (keep elbows slightly bent) forward until they are parallel to ground and thumbs point upward.

3. Slowly lower arms to start position.

Do 3 sets of 12 to 15 reps.

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Cross Chest Press

Target: Chest

1. Holding one end of a resistance band in left hand, stand with right hand on hip and feet wide apart, left foot placed firmly on other end of band.

2. Bring left hand by upper left side of chest, palm facing chest, elbow tucked close to ribs. (Band should be taut; if it’s slack, feed more length under left foot.)

3. Keeping left hand close to body, press band across chest aiming just beyond and slightly above right shoulder. (Your torso will rotate slightly as you continue to press and extend left arm out fully across chest.)

4. Slowly return to elbow-tuck position.

Do 10 reps. Switch sides; repeat. Do 3 sets per side.

READ THE REST HERE

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I’ve cheated – not because it was the cool thing to do, but mainly for three reasons: it was new, it gave me something my boyfriend couldn’t, and simply because I could. That sounds awful, but it’s the truth. I think it is unrealistic to think it’s possible to have all your wants and needs fulfilled by one person. I had one person who was mentally stimulating, and one who was very physically stimulating, so, seemingly, I had the best of both worlds. Mind you, this is coming from a very odd and embittered girl, but still, there it is.

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And if you’re sporting a little extra pudge, incorporating these in-the-mood-foods into a healthy, plant-based diet is one of the best ways to help you get back to your sexy self. If you’re overweight, research shows losing just 10% of your body weight can improve the quality of your sex life, explains Martin Binks, PhD, of the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center. “We find that among overweight women, they bring their negative self-talk and body image issues to the bedroom, and it negatively impacts their sexual well-being.”

Here are some of the food ingredients (and my own favorite recipes) that have been major players in aphrodisiac history and lore– and also have modern-day science to help back up their claims. [From CNN Health]

Almonds
Topping my of feisty foods, almonds have long been purported to increase passion, act as a sexual stimulant, and aid with fertility. Like asparagus (another one of my favorite sexy foods), almonds are nutrient-dense and rich in several trace minerals that are important for sexual health and reproduction, such as zinc, selenium, and vitamin E. “Zinc helps enhance libido and sexual desire,” says Dr. Berman. “We don’t really understand the mechanisms behind it, but we know it works.”

Avocados
The Aztecs referred to avocados as, ahem, testicles, because of their physical shape. But the scientific reason why avocados make sense as an aphrodisiac is that they are rich in unsaturated fats and low in saturated fat, making them good for your heart and your arteries. Anything that keeps the heart beating strong helps keep blood flowing to all the right places; in fact, men with underlying heart disease are twice as likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED).

Strawberries
The color red is known to help stoke the fire: A 2008 study found that men find women sexier if they’re wearing red, as opposed to “cool” colors such as blue or green. Strawberries are also an excellent source of folic acid, a B vitamin that helps ward off birth defects in women and, according to a University of California, Berkley study, may be tied to high sperm counts in men. This Valentine’s Day, try making dark chocolate-dipped strawberries. And while we’re on the subject, there’s a reason we give chocolate on Valentine’s Day: It’s full of libido-boosting methylzanthines.

Seafood
Despite their slippery and slimy texture, oysters may be the most well-known aphrodisiac. They’re also one of the best sources of libido-boosting zinc. But other types of seafood can also act as aphrodisiacs. Oily fish– like wild salmon and herring– contain omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for a healthy heart.

For four other sexy foods and a couple recipes to get you in the mood, click here!

Born Sarah Breedlove, Walker descended from slaves who died when she was still a child. While many young children would have been too traumatized to overcome the death of two parents, she and her sister took jobs laboring in kitchens, and on farms until they could sustain themselves. In 1910, after forming the Hair Culturists’ Union of America in Indianapolis, she made it a point to find allies in the Black political community. She moved to New York in 1916, building (with the help of the first registered black architect) a palatial home that rivaled any in the Hudson River Valley.

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How she came into the hair business was no coincidence. Walker may have suffered from alopecia, a rare ailment that is characterized by little or no hair growth on the body. As a response to her own condition, Walker created a formula (that she claimed had been delivered to her in a dream) to restore hair growth. While many say she did invent a metal “hot comb” specifically for Black women to straighten out the curl in their roots, that is not accurate. The primary cause of her hair loss was the result of a common problem of the era i.e. infrequent washing and products that were not designed for the hair of Black women.

With her ingenious marketing in every Black publication, and her constant travel to trade shows, Walker became a household name. She interrupted Booker T. Washington’s prestigious National Negro Business League Convention after Washington had apparently ignored her requests to speak. As a woman who had founded and developed one of the nation’s most formidable businesses, she would not be denied the right to correlate with her peers on the same level.

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Not one to horde her riches, Walker moved to create philanthropic projects that would help Black communities. She funded the YMCA building in Indianapolis where her business was, donated to the NAACP, and traveled to Woodrow Wilson’s White House to present an anti-lynching petition after violent outbursts had killed Blacks in an Illinois riot. She passed on her legacy of philanthropy to daughter A’Lelia, who was responsible for creating “The Dark Tower,” a salon that hosted Black writers and artists who would display their work during the Harlem Renaissance. Walker died of kidney disease, and bequeathed her estate to her female heirs.

In 1911 Madam Walker pledged $1000 toward the building fund of the black YMCA in Indianapolis. She was one of many funders.

Take a look at more great Black women in history in our gallery below:

Wendy Williams

Referring to herself as the “Queen of All Media,” Wendy Williams’ trademark mixture of oversized personality and merciless celebrity gossip created a new radio archetype and captured millions of fans. After college, Williams started her career in radio as an intern for Kiss 108 in Boston, and made the move to New York City’s Kiss-FM, where she eventually landed her own air shift; and then on to New York’s Hot 97. Williams was Billboard’s Best On-Air Radio Personality in 1993, and became the second African-American woman inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame in 2009. Williams currently hosts her own daytime TV talk show.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO ELSE MADE THE LIST

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The Black Panther Party was a force to be reckoned with during an era in American history where African-Americans fought to prevent their own subjugation.

During the 1960s and 1970s the Black Panther Party functioned as an organized front, ready and willing to militantly combat violence against black people. Their contributions to the development of a more liberated environment for African-Americans within a racist American society is immeasurable. Their importance to the process of building the societal structure that we now know is undeniable. As we celebrate another Black History Month, Hello Beautiful honors the influence that the Black Panther party has had in the Civil Rights historical canon.

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As we remember their historical importance, and look back upon the Panther experience, we especially honor the strong, bold, powerful image of the Panther woman. The women of the organization were in many ways the coal that kept the engine running. They served an imperative purpose, and helped to propel the Panther message, but they always did so with style. The Panther women’s distinctive style holds its own place in our memories.

In honor of the characteristic urban military look that the Blck Panthers are not famous for, we’re giving you a look back at some vintage panther photos.

If you are interested in recreating the Panther look, we’ve got you covered! Take a look at some of our Panther inspired looks with a modern twist. Check out the originators of “All Black Everything” in our gallery, and dont forget to equip your self with a good pair of these:

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You tell your guy a ton, but it’s a myth that divulging every detail equals a healthier union. “Even though you’re part of a twosome, your relationship will thrive if you maintain a private side,” says Marti Olsen Laney, PsyD, coauthor of “The Introvert and Extrovert in Love.”

“Plus, some things might hurt your partner, so keeping them quiet prevents needless stress on your bond.” Top relationship experts agree on the five most important secrets to keep from your guy.

How You Spend Your Money
As long as you don’t share funds, your boyfriend doesn’t need to know where your dough goes. It stresses out guys to see you buy things they deem unnecessary — like clothes or shoes. The quick fix: When he compliments a dress, don’t give him the rundown on where you got it and how much it cost. And if he asks, tell him it was waaay less than the big-screen TV he splurged on.

The Way You Feel About His Family
Warning: Dissing his clan will do damage to your relationship. So even if his mom is Queen Bitch, keep your mouth shut. The minute you say something slightly negative, he will feel like you’re making him choose between you and them and resent you for it. If they’re truly awful, avoid being around them whenever you can.

Innocent Flirtations
You love your guy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t chat up other men. In fact, being flirty is healthy as long as it doesn’t go further. It may be tempting to brag that you still get male attention, especially if you feel your guy takes you for granted, but telling him about the neighbor who checks out your ass is just going to make him feel insecure. Keep quiet, and take pleasure in the fact that you’ve still got it going on.

READ THE REST HERE!

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You’ve got a whole lot of love and you want to give it away to every Tom, Dick and Mary! While swinging around town, perking up your love life with new stud muffins sounds oh-so-sexy, there are some pitfalls of passion that could ruin the relationship you’ve already got going on. Loving more than one person at a time, or polyamory, is an exciting lifestyle, but you’ve got to make sure you’re not living too dangerously. You have to look out for jealousy, fear and, of course, number one. So, here are some tips on how to juggle multiple partners and safely share your fun lovin’ attitude about sex after the jump….

1. Silent Treatment: Not telling your partner about the other people you’re dating isn’t polyamory, it’s cheating. Openly discuss your relationships and your partner will feel included instead of jealous.

2. 2-For-1: Sharing a lover may not fulfill your desire. The “hot bisexual” is a common addition in open relationships, but it doesn’t always work. If you truly want to be free, it’s crucial that you don’t force your partner to go for the same person you want just so you can have them.

3. Handyman: You’ve got to get your relationships in working condition before you go adding on new parts. Make sure you two are built solid, otherwise, you’ll just be headed for a complete break down.

4. One In A Million: Make sure your partner knows why you love them. Assure them that they have a special spot in your heart that no one but them could ever fill. No matter who else you date, they will always remain important to you.

5. Health Nut: When you have multiple partners, you put everyone at a greater risk for passing on STDs. That doesn’t have to deter you from having the sex life your dreams, simply come to an agreement with all your partners about how you want to handle your sexual health. That way, you’ll make everyone feel safe because you openly want to protect yourself and the ones you love. Many polyamorous couples choose to be “body fluid monogamous” which simply means they use a condom with all their partners, except for one.

For five more ways to handle more than one lover, click here.

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There are positives and negatives to every choice that we choose. For instance if you choose one job, one guy, one apartment, another, possibly better option, automatically is discarded. So, being single does have the benefit of countless possibilities; my next great love, date, fling or screw could be just around the corner. So as far as excitement, the single girl’s life is as full of excitement as a martini is full of gin.

On the other hand, the single life is also full of loneliness, the tendency towards bitterness and the occasional friend/family member’s well-intentioned fix-up. I was recently chatting to my sister about my dating dry spell and I heard the verbal kiss of death, “I have someone that would be perfect for you!” Dating is awkward enough, even when the two parties decide for themselves to go on a date. You know, you are sitting across from your date and you are thinking is there something in my teeth? Am I talking too much? If this worked out, could I get him to dress better?  Do I have a booger in my nose? Is he interested in me? Are we going to kiss or do the ass-out hug?  Shit! I didn’t bring an Altoid! Compound this stress by the fact that neither of you know anything about the other, probably have nothing in common and are likely just there to please a friend or family member, needless to say, there are a lot of awkward silences.

Certainly the best part about being single is freedom. I can go out and kiss whomever I want, I can travel on a whim without consulting a boyfriend and I can devote as much time to my career as I want without feeling guilty for neglecting my significant other. Being single provides you with plenty of hilarious dating mishaps to regale your friends with over brunch; like the guy who asked me if I was a lesbian because of my college major, on our first date; you know who you are.  Being single is definitely an acquired taste and if it sounds like your particular brand of vodka, then enjoy it and don’t look for Mr. Right, rather enjoy the quest for Mr. Right Now. Then, when you are ready, that ‘now’ part will drop off, and you will be one less single girl.

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The absence of a wedding ring isn’t a tell-tale sign that cutie you’re crushing on is single. So here’s eight definite ways to tell if he’s single, you know, because we don’t want you to be embarrassed or heartbroken. And if you have any signs to add, let us know in the comments.

1. His Ikea cart is loaded with dishes and pots.

2. He’s in the frozen food aisle buying Hungry Man dinners. The rest of his cart is filled with beer and cereal.

3. He’s standing in front of the washing machine at the laundromat, confused look on his face, clearly wondering why there’s only a card slot, not a coin slot.

4. He still works out.

What are four other ways to tell if he’s probably single? Click here to find out.

So what do these single men look for in a woman, anyway?

Not sure if he’s really single? Find out if you’re the other woman.

Here are some tips on how to make mini-New Year’s resolutions that will keep you committed to regular exercise from sheknows.com:

1) Make time for you

The problem: Taking care of yourself on a daily basis – if you don’t already maintain a fitness routine – can be challenging. From daycare to meetings or just catching up with friends, it can often feel like “you” don’t really fit into the equation of “your” day.

The solution: Start making yourself a priority. Let people around you know that you’re hoping to make a big fitness change in your life and ask them for their support. See if your friends can help you with a few day-to-day tasks — or even exercise with you. Get your husband to clean up the dishes so you can head off to the gym or outside for a walk. By sticking to your “I need me time” plan, you’ll be more likely to keep an exercise schedule.

Work out on your lunch break

2) Write it down

The problem: You want to lose weight and tone your muscles, but haven’t set any concrete targets and you’re not sure how to go about achieving your fitness goals.

The solution: Studies show people who write things down – from what they eat to how they feel before, during and after exercise – are more likely to stick to a new healthy living plan. So, before you start any routine, go to your local bookstore and buy a journal to track your fitness goals (or keep one online). Include inspirational quotes in your fitness journal to inspire you to exercise whenever you feel like taking a day off (or feel too lazy to get off the couch). Doing this will help you feel more organized and in control of your fitness future.

3) Set realistic fitness goals

The problem: Your fitness goals are too lofty and could set you up for failure. For example, it’s January and you want to run a half-marathon by March or you’re hoping to lose 10 pounds in one month.

The solution: Talk to your doctor before starting any fitness regimen to help you set realistic fitness goals. Make an appointment with a qualified personal trainer who can assist you in breaking your larger New Year’s resolutions into smaller more tangible fitness targets and tasks. This will keep you motivated and increase your odds of being successful. A medical or fitness professional can also help you plan for and overcome the inevitable hurdles that may hinder your workout schedule; for example, illness, injury, or family and work obligations.

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If you have to go out then try to find a house party. Now, staying home is for the brave independent lady and here are a couple tips from lifeway.com to make it even easier. Take care of you and prepare yourself mentally for the year to come.

1. Spend some time with God. Read your Bible, or a Christian classic, or review your journal from the past year. Reflect on how you’ve grown and what God has taught you. At the stroke of midnight, pray for the year ahead and ask God to guide you in what’s ahead.

2. Pamper yourself. Take a long, hot bath. Give yourself a pedicure. Dye your hair. Choose one or two things you don’t usually have time for or can’t always afford — and give yourself a mini-makeover.

3. Go ahead; break the rules a little. If it’s chocolate you deprive yourself of all year long, then go crazy and make some chocolate treats. If you’ve skipped out on fast food for a while, drive through more than one place for your favorites and bring them home for a smorgasbord.

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1. The little black dress.
This should be a simple black dress that can work for many different occasions. For the office, wear with a scarf, for a night out, add a piece of statement jewelry.

2. Black blazer.
The key is finding one that is flattering for your body. If your waist is one of your best features, go for a more fitted look. A black blazer with jeans and a button-down is a very chic and timeless look.

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3. Speaking of white button-down shirts…
Invest in a new one every season. This one item can make you look crisp and clean. You can never go wrong when you pair it with jeans, dress pants or a skirt.

4. Well-cut trousers.
If you are only buying one pair of winter-weight trousers, pick one in black or navy. You can wear them paired with so many different options. Make sure you match the length of the pants with the height of your shoes.

5) A big black bag.
Often called a “schlep” bag because it holds everything, whether you’re chasing toddlers or contracts, your bag should fit your needs. The right shoes and bag can make an ordinary outfit look like so much more. Click here for more.

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Cold weather doesn’t have to put a freeze on your outdoor exercise program. If you take precautions, you can still work out when the weather turns chilly.

1) Wear the right clothing.  Don’t overdress. You can overheat even in below-freezing temperatures. If you dress too warmly, you’ll sweat a lot. Then, when cold winds hit, perspiration will rapidly evaporate, chilling you. You want to limit perspiration and keep it away from both your skin and the outside air.

2) Layering is key. Wear a synthetic material like polypropylene against your skin. This will allow the sweat to pass through the fabric away from your body. The second layer should be wool or cotton to soak up moisture. The third layer should be chosen for its ability to keep the cold air out — something lightweight and artificial.

Layering also helps regulate your temperature. If you get too warm, you can strip off a layer.

Work out on your lunch break

3) Heads up. You can lose a tremendous amount of heat through your uncovered head, so wear a hat, cap or hood. Your feet get cold first. Wear appropriate boots or shoes, insulate them with warm socks and keep them dry.

Because of the large surface area to volume, your hands are also more susceptible to cold. Choose mittens over gloves, because the fingers can warm each other and the mitten decreases the exposed surface area.

4) Don’t forget fluids. If you can see your breath, you’re seeing moisture leave your body. So drink plenty of fluids, particularly if the air is cold and dry.  Drink water before you go out, and bring some with you. But don’t drink alcohol — it makes you lose heat.

5) Don’t overdo it. Cold is a stress on the body, and so is exercise. Together they may be too much for someone not in optimal health. Talk to your doctor before you start a winter exercise program.

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Travel by train: Train fares do not change much based on need but the fairs will vary based on dates. Go to Amtrak.com where you can view the weekly deals sections.

Travel by bus: Bus fares do not change much based on need or time of travel like airline flights.

• If you book on-line a day, in advance on greyhound.com then the fee can be up to %50 off.
• Consider  local bus services in your area that provide deals, like Chinatown bus in the Northeast or California shuttle in California for local frequently traveled routes.

Travel by plane: Plane fares are the hardest to get a discounts on because the holiday season is when the airline industry makes most of the money. The industry has even added a $10 fee for holiday travel in addition to the $20 per bag for more than one piece of luggage therefore, make sure that you travel lite.

• If you travel early on Christmas morning then you will see a considerable discount.
• Call and speak to an actual live person on the phone, as long as you are not assessed a fee for the operator, that person can really help guide you toward the best deal that fits your needs, try sites like Expedia.com

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A native of Grenada, Noel-Schure chose to express her island roots throughout the lavish event with tropical scenes of banana trees and Caribbean national flags, designed by Noel-Schure herself.  The Strand Hotel proved to be a perfect place for the festivities given its design history that celebrates iconic fashion figures and its popular rooftop bar and lounge designed by Sex & The City set designer Lydia Marks.  The American Bistro Restaurant served up a Caribbean-inspired menu specially prepared by Executive Chef Kelvin Fernandez.

In a heartfelt birthday speech, the President & CEO of Schure Media took the stage with Legend and her longtime client and friend, Ms. Tina Knowles.  At Noel-Schure’s urging, guests brought non-perishable food to donate to City Harvest.

Read The Rest at NEWSONE.COM

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It’s Sunday morning and reality has set in. I’m going to see Beyonce’s screening of her “Live At Roseland” concert DVD. OMG!!!!!

I hop on the train with my 4-year-old goddaughter, who also happens to love Beyonce, and we’re off! We arrived at the Paris Theatre at 2pm – sharp. Contest winners were told to arrive at 3pm to pick up tickets and doors opened at 4pm, but we wanted to be early! I was surprised to see that only about 10 people were already standing on line. “Woohoo,” I thought, “We’re only a dozen people or so away from the main entrance.”

As we’re standing on line and my goddaughter is drawing attention singing “Who Run The World,” I notice the line of contest winners beginning to pick up. Next thing you know, it’s wrapped around the block and there’s pandemonium outside the theatre with contest winners, ticket holders and VIP members. I saw Beyonce’s cousin, Angie, and immediately got excited ALL OVER again!

At 3:30pm, they begin giving us wristbands and checking our names off of the contest winners list. Ahhhhhh! My name is there – my wristband is on! Can’t WAIT!!! It is now 4:30pm and the doors finally opened up – we’re in! I grabbed my popcorn and water (free snacks!) and made my way into the theatre. I was surprised to see how small the venue was, but was ecstatic that we were only 8 rows to the left of the stage.

Then…I saw a white chair with spot lights on it and a camera crew surrounding the stage. As we were being seated, we were asked not to record or take any photos during…Beyonce’s Q&A. “Wait, did they just say Beyonce was going to be here?!” OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!! This was a SURPRISE!!!! Next thing I knew, in walks the beautiful Mrs. Carter, glowing. Her dress was beautiful! Her hair perfect, of course! She answered a few questions and made the audience laugh when asked about her undeniably big belly. Her reaction: “Big?! *leans back* “Lorddd!” Hahahaha. I love her!

Her DVD was amazing! It opened up with her and Jay’s hands over lapping one another showing off their “IV” tattoos. The audience could not compose themselves. We cheered, applauded, awwwwwww’d throughout the entire DVD. Some of us even got up during some of her performances and danced in our seats! I went to her second concert at Roseland back in August and I can honestly say, watching it in the theatre, I felt like I was reliving that moment ALL OVER AGAIN! The DVD made me cry – a lot! But I can’t wait to pick up my Deluxe Two Disc DVD on Tuesday.

Thank you HelloBeautiful for letting me experience this amazing moment with my favorite artist in the ENTIRE WORLD!!!! Follow me on Twitter!

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Salamishah Tillet @salamishah
This Harvard-trained historian-turned-English professor has been one of the most vocal voices on twitter regarding issues of rape, assault, and violence against women. In addition to writing for The Root and The Nation, she is the co-founder of A Long Walk Home, a non-profit organization that uses art therapy and the visual and performing arts to end violence against girls and women. Recently her writings on the SlutWalk anti-rape movement has gained national acclaim. A read through her timeline will show you how she continues to organize around issues of sexual violence and challenge communities of color to deal with the issue head on.

Melissa Harris Perry @MHarrisPerry
Perhaps twitter’s most known black female academic, she’s gone toe to toe with titans like Cornel West and Tavis Smiley over issues of Black politics. She’s got hudspah like that. This year Dr. Perry made the move from the ivory towers of Princeton to the halls of Tulane… and that NOLA swagger is definitely growing on her! You can watch Dr. Perry on news outlets such as MSNBC and read her in The Nation. You just might want to study up on her and do a little homework before she schools you in her @replies!

Megan Francis @meganfrancis
Fresh out the gates from the storied halls of Princeton, (where she was a student of @MHarrisPerry), Megan Francis is an upstart who’s making waves as a professor at Pepperdine Law. Maybe it’s the Malibu sunshine that keeps her timeline rolling between hard-hitting politics and the latest marathon she’s training for (and how said marathon training fit her into twitpicked Zac Posen dress, etc), but Dr. Francis definitely lights up any feed she’s on with energy and brilliance.

Imani Perry @imaniperry
Dr. Perry is brilliance personified. Some people are smart– but she’s THAT smart.  The finest institutions in the country pay big money to have this Harvard JD/PhD drop knowledge on their campuses, but she does it readily and consistently for free on twitter! We love how she keeps the conversations going with her followers and wonder how this mom, wife, and Princeton prof even gets the time most days.

Nikki Jones @socprofjones
Hailing from the best coast, Nikki Jones is one of sociology’s newest and sharpest gender and race scholars. Based at UC Santa Barbara, her work centers on various intersections of class, race, gender and she does it by getting out of the ivory tower and onto the frontlines of Black communities. You’re more likely to find her in the trenches with a video camera exposing how cops harass Black boys in San Francisco than having a beer with Obama in the White House. She’s a quieter tweeter, but definitely worth the follow.

Follow Saida Grundy on twitter @saigrundy

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You’ve probably proclaimed more than a time or two that your latest idea is a ‘game changer’. And when the stakes are high you put everyone on notice by declaring that you ‘play to win’.  When you indeed win you celebrate the victory by touting ‘game over’. Sound familiar? Ok, question: You’re ‘changing the game’ and ‘playing to win’ but do you know what game you’re actually playing?

One of the first exercises a brand undergoes when trying to determine  how to win in the marketplace is mining for the answer to this key question: “What business are we in?” The NFL is not in the sports business, they’re in the entertainment business. Ford is not an auto manufacturing company, they’re a technology company which happens to make cars. These brands and others like Nike, Apple, and Disney have defined their business not in terms of the actual product or service they deliver but in terms of the uniquely rewarding experience they create for their consumers.

To define a business in terms of product and services is about making a profit, whereas defining a business in terms of an experience is about creating value. Profit can be calculated, but arguably there’s no equation for value – the sky’s the limit! What does any of this have to do with career development? A critical step to getting where you want to be professionally is to first get real clear about what game you’re playing – and the answer is above and beyond your title and your job description. It is the value you create in the workplace. It is your north star to recognition, reward, and opportunities and here’s why:

1. When you understand the game you’re playing you will likely discover and be exposed to an entirely new playing field with entirely different players. If you are an HR manager and determine that the game you’re playing is all about creating a company culture then you’re now playing a different game than your colleagues in your department. So while the HR staff is busy trying to hire qualified candidates which is important to the head of HR, you are also busy trying to build a company culture which is important to senior executives including the CEO. New playing field. Different players.

2. You are better positioned for a raise or promotion when you clearly know what game you’re playing. In the case of the HR manager, compensation and career trajectory are quite defined for such a role. But how much does a company pay the person who architects their company culture? What does that career trajectory look like? Trust me, your boss doesn’t know either! When you understand the value you bring to an organization you are able to have less formulaic discussions about compensation, benefits, performance goals, etc.

3. Opportunities start to appear when you literally learn how to spit game. Begin to talk about the game you’re playing, the value you bring to the table every chance you get. When asked what you do for a living instead of saying “I’m an HR manager” instead say “I manage the development of my company’s culture. Use formal and informal communications at work to reset perceptions about you in your role. Slowly but surely you will begin to hear it repeated back to you and you will be seen not in terms of your job title but in terms of your value.

Only when you know the game you’re playing will you be able to truly play it, change it, and ultimately win at it.

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You look good, you smell good and you’re wearing the only matching lingerie set you own. All signs point to go.

You’d think with this many green lights that there’s no way a lady could mess this up. Maybe you’d think that, but you’d be wrong. Here are just a few of the ways this could go south in a hurry:

1. Don’t depend on him for birth control. Yes, he should carry condoms, but ultimately it’s up to you — it’s your body and you need to keep yourself safe. I’m not saying that’s the way it should be, but the sad fact is, even the nicest seeming guy isn’t always as invested in keeping us disease and pregnancy-free. Even if you’re the kind of traditional lady who insists your date pay for everything (after all, you’re giving him the gift of your company), do not let stubbornness get in the way of your safe good time. And nothing ruins a good time like a below-the-belt itch or unplanned pregnancy.

2. For Pete’s sake, don’t cry. Some of us have a weird habit of occasionally bursting into tears during sex — it’s the rush of endorphins that does it, so blame biology! But, if there’s any way to pull yourself together the first time you make sweet love to your new boyfriend, try to. Waterworks will lead him to believe that either he hurt you–and in that case, will never again do that thing again — or he’ll think that you’re a mental case. Either way, you probably won’t be seeing him again anytime soon.

3. Leave the comparison talk at home. You know how almost every woman you know thinks she’s fat? Yeah, well most guys think they’re, ahem, less endowed than they actually are. Imagine if you thought a size zero was the way you thought you should look just because the model in Vogue was. Sigh.

To read the other three no-nos, click here!

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Start by accepting the blunder. It has happened and you cannot change what you have already eaten, but what you can change is your next meal. By making a good, healthy decision the next time, you will feel better mentally and physically and avoid falling into a slump possibly leading to another poor nutritional choice.

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Expecting and preparing for setbacks can permit for damage control and allow you to take control of the situation to avoid further setbacks like weight gain and disappointment. Keep these tips in mind and realize that having a recovery plan is all a part of successful meal planning and weight loss.

• Forgive yourself. You are human and are allowed to make mistakes. Realize that this mistake and help you regain control and eliminate a craving that may have caused an overindulgence ahead.

FIND OUT MORE HERE

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If someone told me a year ago, I would be a houseguest on CBS’s summer hit television show, Big Brother, I would have guffawed in their face.  Repeatedly.  For about an hour.  Yet, true to form, I moved to Hollywood, was “discovered” at a bar, and a few months (and many casting interviews later),  I received my key to the Big Brother house.

Big Brother, for those living under a large boulder with the Geico cave man, is a nationally televised show where 14 houseguests move into a large house and compete in random competitions for the shot at winning $500,000.

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I knew walking into the house, that’d I’d most likely be the only cast mate of color as Big Brother has certain “types” they cast each year including the gay, the jock, the bimbo, the old guy/gal, and of course, the black person.  I’ve spent most of my life as one of a few, if not the only, as I grew up in a predominately Caucasian neighborhood.  It was normal for me to get questions about my curly hair or my small nose or lack of an ass.  People question what they don’t understand and no matter how ridiculous the question, I was the smiling black girl ready with the answer, an “oh, sure you can touch my hair,” or a “nope, I’m not biracial, we just come in different shapes and sizes.”  Pardon me if I spent my whole life answering these questions that by the time I got on Big Brother, I was a bit fatigued.

Yet, sure enough, I was the one fielding all the questions again.  I wasn’t all that surprised to hear certain houseguests make comments about how well I spoke, how I must’ve been trained in something to speak so well.  The guy who always called me “Sister Act” didn’t faze me.  I barely flinched when a certain girl spent the entire season asking me endless facts about my hair.  This was normal in my world–being labeled the diva in the house despite the flamboyant gay guy who had a different pair of sunglasses for everyday of the week or the girl who had more cosmetics and skin cleansers than the make up counters of Bloomingdales, Macy’s, and Nordstrom combined. Yup, I was the high maintenance one somehow.  But again, I expected all of this.  It’s par for the course in our modern, “post-racism” society.  What I wasn’t prepared for was what happened after the show wrapped.

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Cast mates are warned not to read the blogs, not to check the fan sites as there are crazily obsessed fans who have nothing but negativity to spout, hidden safely behind their computer screens.  I didn’t bother checking.  Frankly, I didn’t give a damn what they had to say, but the day after the finale, I signed back into life and there it all was: Facebook pages dedicated to how much America hated me, how much I (supposedly) ate, how fat I was (I wear a solid 8 or 10 and get no complaints from those who, ahem, matter), how arrogant I was as one person scrawled on my Facebook page, “I hate black people who think they’re better than everyone.”  Apparently, all you need to do is spend your summer on a reality show to find out how ignorant much of the country still is.  I was labeled Kalia Kong and Cowlia.  I was called Uncle Tom and n*gger left and right on my twitter account.  My anonymous blog was leaked and I was called all kinds of terrible names in the comments section.  While this may all sound like the usual for a foray into the wacky reality world, it is not.

Comparatively, I sat and watched as some of my closest friends from the show (not black), got nothing but love mail, fan sites dedicated to how awesome they were, presents, comments about how great they played the game (even if they barely batted an eyelash all summer). While I was getting lashed for making decisions and standing up for myself, they were being coddled for dealing with arrogant old me all summer.  I won’t lie either,  it got to me briefly.  I cried on the phone to my mother continually saying, “I am a good person! I don’t deserve this just because I went on a TV show! They have no idea how hard it was!”  And they don’t.  They have no idea what a pressure cooker it was, how tears squirt from your eyes at the slightest infraction because of the stress, how everyone who matters to you is scratched from your existence as if they were never there, how you can’t trust anyone, not even yourself, how you have cameras on you 24/7-while you sleep, eat, talk, drink, pick your nose, shower and while you did sign up for this, you did not sign up for the ridicule and pure ignorance that comes from being the lone black key on a grand piano full of ivory white ones.

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Many decided they hated me as soon as they saw my little brown face popped up on the opening credits.  It’s pretty normal for minorities to have to work even harder to jump over a bar that’s placed too high anyway.

Make no mistake, though, that moment lasted as briefly as my time in the “Big Brother” house did in the grand scheme of life.  What many of those haters failed to remember about strong black women is that we may trip, we may fall, but we never stay down.  From years of carrying a nation, we know a thing or two about dusting ourselves off, pushing our shoulders back, holding our heads high and walking back into the fire.

So, I’m sorry America, sorry I was raised by strong parents in a happy home who told me on a regular basis I could do or be anything I wanted.  Sorry, I was educated in the best schools and I wasn’t the first generation of my family to earn a college degree.  Sorry, I don’t fit your stereotype of how a black person is supposed to act on national television, that I didn’t just “Yessuh, Massuh” my way right out the house, shuckin’ and jivin’ my way to Julie Chen.  I learned early on that you should worry when people aren’t talking about you, even when they’re hating, so keep it coming and be forewarned, if I’m asked back for All-Stars, you’ll get the gift of having to deal with me all over again.

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The ET interview shows an equally excited Jordin and Whitney sharing their mutual admiration for each other.  Jordin says about Whitney, “I see a lot parallels between me and here, growing up in the church, I was singing in church a lot, I sang in school and then all of sudden this one thing changed my life…and I listened to her and I watched her!”

Check out the full interview below.

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Now Miss Jackson it’s no secret that your fiance is one of the most influential athletes in sports history, boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. However, you are definitely stepping out and making a name for yourself as a mogul in the making. Fashion designer, model, and philanthropist just for starters; how do you find time to balance everything?

Miss Jackson: [Laughing] There definitely aren’t enough hours in the day! Making it very easy for things to overlap at times, however there’s so much I want to accomplish in life. So I live by my personal motto “Hard work never hurt anyone and the rewards are so much sweeter!”.

Plan a getaway to Floyd’s hometown!

Do you think that it’s important for woman in high profile relationships to step out and establish their own professional identities?

Miss Jackson: Not everything is for everyone. It’s really up to women to decide where they want to stand in the world. I choose to step out and continue making a name for myself. I’ve always been business oriented, even before Floyd and I got together. So I definitely continue on my same path and being with him isn’t going to change that.

You are known to design and coordinate a lot of the outfits you wear, from the very simple and elegant to the more festive. What is your inspiration and do you see yourself having an exclusive clothing line in the near future?

Miss Jackson: It’s important for women to always feel beautiful. I adore a classy-classic with an even balance of sex appeal. Looks such as the fluffy petticoat outfit I wore to Floyd’s last fight, to a long elegant gown with a high split. I currently have a t-shirt and hoodie line in the works, followed by the slated launch of my high end unisex fashion line. You got a peek of at the fight [wink]

As a model and woman who’s found her place on both sides of the camera. What are your thoughts on the current depiction of women in entertainment?

Miss Jackson: Women are always on a different playing field than men, in everyday life and in entertainment. The world likes to play the double standard game. Prime examples: If a woman’s seen on TV or in her private life dating multiple men she’s branded a whore etc. but if a man does it he’s “The Man”. Or the assumption that every woman in a music video is a “video hoe” or “groupie”, what about the male models? Are their professional and personal motivations not the same? Women want and deserve to be acknowledged as professionals just like men.

You also shouldn’t believe everything you see on TV or via third parties [laughing] this business is called ENTERTAINMENT for a reason.

READ THE REST @itsJazzyFBaby

Dream Vacation: Amalfi Coast, Italy