This guy who I only knew as an acquaintance wanted to “figure me out” and wanted to know my view on life, so I proceeded to tell him that it was to “go with the flow.” My life philosophy is that “whatever happens, happens” and that if something I’m looking forward to doesn’t happen, I’m optimistic enough to believe that something I don’t expect will happen and be just as good. This guy couldn’t seem to understand how I am so optimistic about life, which got me thinking about optimism and why some people just don’t have brains wired that way.

“I’m a realist” is the phrase I hear a lot of people say when giving reasons to reject optimism, but that makes optimism out to not being “real.” However, being optimistic can pay off when you’re in a bad mood and are trying to think the best of the situation. I always internally think “everything’s going to be alright in the end,” which has helped me out of some bad funks and basically made me out to be a slightly idealistic person. So, the question is, is it bad to be “hands off” – within reason – with your life?

I do realize that you can’t be completely “hands off” with your life, though, because there are some things that you just should do or they won’t happen. Those types of things would be anything having to do with earning a living or completing a degree – stuff that is pertinent for success. Although money isn’t everything, it is something you inevitably need in life for food, clothes, and general necessities. Earning money for both yourself and/or family is something that will always be there, therefore, being completely hands off doesn’t work in those situations.

However, in matters of friendship or social events, sometimes it’s best not to think so much and to just let life happen. I know when I have high expectations for an event, a lot of times it doesn’t turn out how I expected and those expectations are what brought me down. For example, I know at times I’ve anticipated days in advance a lunch with a friend, but at the last minute that friend has canceled, leaving me with a lost day. However, the day’s not lost at 11am – there’s always hope for other things going right that day, therefore, calling up another friend and making plans is not out of the question.

“Going with the flow” doesn’t have to be so bad if you can just go with what life throws at you. Honestly, I think it makes you stronger if you can deal with difficulties with style and grace. So, girls, go out there and don’t waste your time bemoaning those “lost days” – get out there and make your own rules!

Some tips about “going with the flow”:

1. Don’t let yourself get mad when things don’t go as planned. It might not be exactly how you planned, but you are the master of your emotions. Think about what just happened and then act accordingly.

2. Always be prepared with alternate ideas for plans. Having flexible ideas in your mind, instead of just a set schedule, can take the stress off of you when things go wrong.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously, some things aren’t worth worrying about. Canceled lunch plans or missing the train can be blips in your day, but there’s always a way to smooth things out. Maybe you had an important meeting – call in and explain the situation. For canceled lunch plans, you can always go to lunch by yourself and read the book you’ve been dying to catch up on, or call another friend. There’s always another way to view a situation and by seeing the glass as half-full instead of half-empty, life seems much easier in the long run. Renew your optimism and channel your strong, independent self!

For a different view on your perspective of the world, check out: Time And What It Means To Your Life

Get A Positive Outlook, Extend Your Life

1. If you don’t brush away what’s unproductive and hindering, then who will? You are who you are and no one else can be the instigator in the change of your thought patterns than you. Even if people try to help you, you’re the only one who can push yourself mentally. Repeat to yourself what’s most important in your life. Maybe you just need to reorganize yourself and get the negative energy out of your inner circle. Think about what’s highest on your priority list and go for it!

2. Have a strong circle around you to help get your mind in gear. Changing what’s not helping you in the long run is a strong way to be, especially if you have people reassuring you that you can do it. Don’t push away from the people that could be influential in the way you think! People will appreciate and respect you for your efforts of change, so make the most of your outside resources.

3. Revitalize your options. Give yourself multiple options of how to think in order to make the most out of what you have. There’s always more than one answer to a problem. If you’re unsure of how to proceed with changing your thoughts, ask one of your many confidants and try and come up with a solution!

4. Tighten up your thoughts. If you feel like you’re just repeating the same things in your mind, make yourself think them once and then put them in a bottle. Figuratively throw that bottle in the ocean and move toward more productive thoughts. Think of what’s most important and push the “throw-away” commentary in your mind away. While this might be hard to do in practice, once you acknowledge your control over what you think, then it’s easier to reign in the unproductive!

5 Ways To Take Control Of Your Life

5. Don’t dwell on the negative. Thoughts that are “unproductive” are usually the negative ones that crop up and don’t leave. Let yourself push those aside in favor of the positive and productive ideas that push you forward. Learning how to control how you think is one of the most important lessons life can teach you, as it strengthens you and helps you move forward.

6. Think of your mind as a harbor. This is an anecdote I got from the book I’m reading (and soon to be movie!) Eat, Pray, Love. Your “self” is an island in the middle of your mind, while the thoughts are the ships that come near the harbor. You can choose which ideas are able to come near your island, therefore, #4 is very useful in weeding out what’s irrelevant and bringing you to a better place in your mind. Once you make yourself the “ruler” of your mind, then you can be the commander of the ships that go through it!

Pushing yourself mentally can make you stronger, so sisters, don’t forget – you are in control of yourself and what you think! Never forget that what’s in your mind can be altered and that nothing is too big to conquer if you have the will to do it!

5 Reasons Why Little Things Can Make A Big Difference

Need A Passport Photo? There’s An App For That!

You no longer are scared of your where you are and what’s expected of you, therefore, you let your guard down and aren’t true to the determined individual you used to be. You don’t even realize it’s happening, but time and routine have conned you into a false sense of security. As the saying goes, “it’s not over until it’s over,” so if you really think about it, don’t you want to stay strong throughout the entirety of an event? Putting your big guns down and staying neutral through an experience may seem tempting, but in this world, staying tough and trying your best from start to finish is what differentiates yourself from the crowd. It’s the humble ones who stay upbeat and true to their own diligence that ultimately get the most out of a situation. If you don’t have the staying power to finish what you started with a bang, then aren’t you merely a mediocre version of yourself? The question is, what does time teach us about how we deal with the beginning, middle, and end of an experience?

When you’re in the middle of something that you’ve been doing for a while, the first instinct is to feel comfortable with the routine. You know where you’re going, who you’re dealing with, and you start feeling a bit bolder in how you approach the situation. Stuff you were uncomfortable about at the beginning falls into place and you feel that you can even mix it up a bit, adding your own touch to what once was a learning experience. For example, if you walk to the same job every morning, maybe you take a different route one day once you know the area better. At first, you were just learning where you were going, but now that the daily routine is in place, there’s room for diversity and change.

One instance of clockwork that’s amused me for weeks is how the woman at Starbucks knows my order by heart and makes it even before I get to the front of the line. It’s impossible to change up your routine at that point, but it’s a welcome example of how staying predictable for weeks can cause a rapport with someone you don’t know personally. Over time, it’s possible that something you never expected to feel so natural can become apart of your daily consciousness; and while I’d never seen Starbucks as a particularly friendly vendor, having this understanding with the cashier has changed how I feel about routine. I’ve always gone against having too much of a routine, taking spontaneity as something that was a right, not a privilege. It can get boring ordering the same meal every morning, yet in the end, I’ve savored this summer’s routines as warm memories of a comfortable environment. Being a suburban-bred at heart, the feeling of a steady routine in a bustling city had it dawn on me that time really can change attitudes. As humans, we can slip into a rhythm easily as long as we have the music to guide us. Time and routine are closely connected – you need time in order to adjust to a routine and feel comfortable in new avenues. Once the comfort-factor happens, it’s only a matter of time before you feel a sense of balance. From then on, it’s your inner resilience which determines how you stay on top of your stride.

6 Ways To Push Yourself Mentally

Once you’ve almost surpassed the comfort stage, that’s when it usually dawns on you that it’s time to step it up. While there are those of us who never let their guard down, it’s very common to come up from a slump back to your full potential. Once the moment of clarity comes, that’s when the experience turns into a dwindling amount of time before the end. Nostalgia kicks in and stuff that used to be routine has turned into moments that should be cherished and remembered. The end of an event ends up becoming the beginning of reflection, which in turn teaches us the lessons that said experience has taught us. It depends on what this event was – a year of school, a job, a retreat, a time with friends or family – all of these have a beginning, middle, and end to the scenario that we eventually turn into a memory, good or bad, that’s attached to our lives forever. Isn’t it good to realize that while nothing lasts forever, the lessons and wisdom are what ends up being the important parts of our experiences?

Every time I’m nearing the end of an era, I always think of what’s happened, with fondness or deep-thought, trying to figure out what I’ve gained from the time I’ve had. I’ve always thought that everything happens for a reason – nothing in life is without meaning, whether it’s the start of an event or the finish line. We all are given lessons, no matter if we’re in the classroom or not and they’re always important. Sisters, go out into the world with the knowledge that everything has a purpose and that you just have to believe in what you’re doing in order to succeed. Never forget what you have learned from experience!

7 Ways To Preserve The Past While Embracing The Future

As I was reading the news recently, I came across an interesting article that says that women “peak” at age thirty-one in key categories such as beauty, confidence and personality. This contradicts many of the phrases that we have in our society such as “after thirty, it all goes downhill” or that the older a woman gets, the less desirable she is to men (unless of course she’s a “cougar”).

Younger women have always seemed to be getting special treatment, yet according to a recent poll, “thirty-one is the new twenty-one” and there’s a stronger evidence to suggest that older women are becoming more revered. This new research (a poll by QVC) apparently confirms that “with age comes beauty” and with the combination of “confidence, style, and personality,” women show “real beauty.” What does it mean to be “beautiful,” then? We’ve been taught since childhood that being beautiful “from the inside out” is a trait that we should emulate, but what does “beauty” truly mean in the sense of age, especially for those of us women who are strong, independent, and in the prime of our lives?

According to the poll referenced above, there are three components of “beauty” that got the most votes: confidence, style, and personality. What do all of these words really mean, though? What’s the true meaning behind having confidence, style, and personality in regards to age?

1. Confidence - To me, confidence has always meant the ability to hold your head up high and not care about what others think. It’s important to be able to exude this air of self-respect, since in this complex world, if you don’t have faith in yourself first, it’s harder for others to mirror that respect back to you. Confidence has to come from within first and foremost – once it radiates from your pores, it’s easier for you to spread it to others. As you gets older and more accustomed to how life works, confidence typically increases due to life experiences that change and evolve you. It’s true to say that age makes you wiser and able to embody self-confidence, since you know what to expect out of life and have formed a tougher skin. Through being no-nonsense, women radiate beauty – since they’re looking at the world straight in the face and don’t need others to build them up. That straight-forward attitude comes with age and therefore it’s easy to see the beauty in that strength.

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2. Style - Correlated with #1, confidence exuded from the way a woman carries herself with clothes, accessories, and physical appearance is strongly related to style. “Style” can also refer to the general attitude expressed through movement, verbal cues, and eye contact. Only when all of those elements are together can there be a strong, independent woman vibe that encompasses attitude and beauty. While the clothes and physical appearance are related to visible beauty, it’s the underlying side of beauty that really comes with age. If you have that “way” about you that’s only present because you know so much about life, then it’s a wisdom-filled, age-old style that makes you who you are. Style is learned, not immediately present from the get-go. It’s this “learned” element of life experience that radiates the true beauty from within.

3. Personality - Compared to both confidence and style, personality is the most interchangeable element of a person. You’re born with the way you understand things about the world, yet you can change over time. However, personality always seems to stay with you as something that IS essentially who you are – the way you interact with others, view yourself, and take on the world all rolled into one. Personalities can have positive and negative traits, yet in the end, they always seem to balance each other out and create a person that’s like a yin-yang, with both dark and light sides. A person’s personality is a connection to their beauty precisely because personalities evolve over a lifetime and by age thirty-one, who you are is mostly set in stone, but more malleable and easy to manage. Having the knowledge that thirty-one years can provide is invaluable and adds confidence and style to your personality that wouldn’t otherwise be there. Beauty is a combination of the good traits you have, as well as the ability to show them off and wear them like you would your favorite outfit: gracefully and with a smile. Being who you are is important, but it’s also beautiful the way it’s done.

With the combination of traits like confidence, style, and personality, it’s no wonder that strong, independent women at thirty-one are at the top of their prime. Knowing who you are and where you’re going are two of the most important parts of life and as women age, they become more comfortable in their own skin and can do amazing things. Girls, if you get one thing out of this article, it’s that you shouldn’t worry about getting older – your life can only get better. In reality, you can be any age you want. It’s the age that you FEEL that matters, as beauty isn’t only skin deep – it’s in your soul, sisters! Go out and obtain what you want because you’re worth it in the end.

5 Ways To Take Control Of Your Life

For me, at least, I know I’m a perfectionist. I want things to come naturally to me – to have the words sound as good as they can be, so I feel satisfied at the end of writing something, for example. The mood has to strike or the words, or the household chores, or the birthday card are never complete. I know a lot of people are like this – they say that they like the adrenaline rush, but in the end, they’re only stressed out once the deadline pops up in the near future and nothing’s done. A dinner party is happening and the rooms of the house are a mess, but where did the time go? Other things were deemed “more important,” except for the one thing that would eventually be important in the LONG TERM. Long term planning is the worst because it’s so far in the future, at least in your mind, but it just creeps up on you unless you get a jump on it ahead of time. Procrastination is a reflex for people who want “just a little bit more time” to think and “prepare,” but in the end it’s only hurting yourself to not be on top of what’s coming.

Psychology Today says one of the most interesting theories I’ve ever heard about procrastination – it really does make a lot of sense: “Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning. Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time, although they are more optimistic than others. ‘Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up,’ insists Dr. Ferrari.” Seriously, I’ve been told all my life that I have a time management problem, but in reality, maybe I’m just overly optimistic that everything will eventually get done. If you refer to the article I wrote called How To Be Optimistic And Go With The Flow, there are a lot of reasons that people (like myself) are somewhat “hands-off “with their life. At least in my life, I feel like that by trying to manipulate every little thing to make it right, it doesn’t always work out the way you planned anyway. Therefore, I do what feels right and sometimes it happens that once I realize that I have no time left, it all just comes flowing out and I’m able to be productive. It sometimes is counterproductive, but at other times, my creative rush wouldn’t have come otherwise. Although it’s said that after “squandering resources,” you only FEEL more creative by procrastinating and getting the “big rush.” I sometimes wonder that maybe if I had spent more time on the current project in my life EARLIER in the game that maybe it would’ve turned out better. Therefore, procrastination might not make as much sense at it seems at the time.

If you yourself are a procrastinator (like myself), which one are you?:

1. Arousal Type/Thrill Seeker – those who wait till the last moment for a euphoric rush.

2. Avoider – those who may be avoiding fear of failure, or even fear of success and are very concerned about what others think of them – would rather be reprimanded for lack of effort than lack of ability.

3. Decisional Procrastinator – those who can’t make a decision, therefore, absolves them of responsibility for outcome of the situation.

Honestly, I think I have characteristics of all three of these types, only at different times (or sometimes all at once?). It’s hard to pinpoint anyone as one “type” of person, but in general, procrastination allows for bad habits like indecisiveness and avoidance to overshadow the good characteristics, like being strong at handling pressure or churning out coherent work on the spot.

What do you want to identify as: a do-er or someone who puts everything off? I know it’s easy to say that, especially since my habits have been hard to change, but in the end, it’s the good intentions of becoming a better worker that matters in the end – that you acknowledge what you’re supposed to do and have the strong, independent persona to change ways that just haven’t been working!

How To Embrace Your Nervousness & Just Be Yourself

5 Ways To Keep Yourself Sane:

1. Make a point to turn down at least one activity a week. If it’s an overly busy week and there’s something you can cancel, do it. Make time for yourself for at least an hour a day. Even just giving yourself time to read or listen to music is a good use of de-stress time. Basically, anything that makes you feel relaxed is fair game.

2. Tell the family member/friend about your busy schedule and lack of breathing room. If they realize that you’re turning it down because you’re overwhelmed, they’re more likely to understand and be open to a rain-check. Obviously, you can’t turn down the same person too often if you want to keep their trust. If you find yourself turning down one particular person all of the time, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I need “me-time” or is it because I just don’t really want to see them?” If it’s the latter, it’s best to gracefully stop contacting them and you both can move on to new contacts with no hard feelings.

3. I was happy to find that Oprah gives a very cohesive list of how to say “no” to anything and everything! Obviously, she’s the Queen of Talk, so I feel like her fifty-seven ideas are just something that must be read.

4. Keep your living situation as uncluttered as your schedule. A messy living quarters just makes it less easy to concentrate and you more likely to want to avoid being there. If everything’s clean, you can decompress and feel more comfortable with staying home, therefore, keeping yourself sane.

5. Don’t overestimate how much you can do. Knowing your limits with plans and how much you can handle is an important way to keep yourself from overdoing it. If you can feel comfortable saying “no” when it’s something that’s not immediately important, then you can prioritize better and realize what’s best for your life.

Basically, being yourself, knowing your limits, and being prepared to use your prioritizing power to plan your life is the best way to go. Only you can be the judge as to what you do in your life. Make the right decisions for YOU and stay sane – keep an open mind and know when to say “no” versus “yes we can!”

Embracing The Unknown – Why Change Can Be Good

Have you ever realized how much one moment of locking eyes can mean? Try looking a stranger in the eye or even someone you know pretty well. Eyes are one of the best attributes of human expression because they can be direct and elusive, as well as show a million different emotions in just one look. Even one glance can tell you a lot about a person’s character, especially if a smile or smirk is thrown in. One thing that shy people have as a disadvantage is that they have trouble holding eye contact. It’s well known that in Western countries like the United States, giving those in power eye contact is revered. However, in Eastern countries, eye contact to those in power is viewed as rude and a sign of disrespect. It’s important to recognize these differences, since eye contact can mean many different things depending on the setting and the people locking eyes. Why is it good to practice strong eye contact in your every day life?

1. Respect – As I said above, in Western countries like the United States, eye contact in order to show and earn respect. From talking to your boss at work to thanking your grandmother for a birthday gift, eye contact shows that you see the person as equal or someone you view as important. Of course there are other ways to show respect, such as staying eye-level with the person and positioning yourself as leaning into them when you’re talking, but eye contact shows that you’re on the same page in the most straight-forward way. As they say, “eyes are the window to the soul.” Sincerity can be felt through eye contact, therefore, genuine respect will be received if you pay strong attention through your eyes.

2. Interest – If you like someone in any way, shape, or form, why not look them in the eye when you’re talking to them? Looking down or away from them can come off as aloof, especially if the person is telling you about something important or trying to get your attention. In order to put the most effort into showing interest, look the person in the eye and smile. This can be taken different ways depending on what you and the other person are intending - interest could mean familial, friendship, a respectful authoritarian interest, love interest, or even just a strong bond that you and the other person have. Eye contact can say so much, yet leave so much to assumptions and analyzing body language.

For more on body language and the interplay of interest, check this other article I wrote: Is It Really In The Eyes? Body Language Decoded.

3. Appreciation - You can convey appreciation quite easily with the eyes - just give a meaningful look into their eyes while you’re thanking them and the other person is able to recognize how you feel. Showing emotions like appreciation is quite important in terms of friends and family members if they do something nice or helpful for you, so eye contact is vital in these situations. It’s a socially constructed way to keep up a positive image with people in your life, yet also an extremely good way to show your thanks with sincerity.

4. Understanding – A locking of eyes can be all you need to have some understand something you mean. If you’re trying to get a point across or just want some reassurance, eye contact can be an important asset in communicating your thoughts. Eye contact is one of the most intimate forms of communication because sight has the ability to pick up so much that people convey. It’s possible to guess what someone’s thinking based on their eyes and how they look at you. Eye contact, or lack thereof, is invaluable for learning to trust someone and having that same respect given in return.

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5. Eye contact can be the difference between seeming aloof and a new friendship. If you’re giving someone eye contact, this could be the start of friendly, warm communication with a new person. By keeping yourself open to locking eyes with a stranger, you’re inviting them to look at you and perhaps start a conversation. You’re leaving yourself open to people if you’re willing to make eye contact and keep up a friendly face. While there’s a clear difference between good eye contact and glaring, it’s important that you know when it’s appropriate to use either. Warm, friendly eyes could be the deciding factor in whether you make a possible friend or scare someone away! While there are exceptions to leaving yourself open with your eyes (ie. when you’re somewhere new and you feel rather sketched out), it’s important to not let opportunities where eye contact could help you to pass you by. Surprising things could happen if you just open your eyes!

In general, eye contact is something people don’t think enough about. It’s important to teach children from a young age to look people in the eye when they’re talking to them or they could develop a habit of seeming aloof or disinterested in communicating with other people. Locking eyes and knowing when to look away is a good people skill to possess. Use your eyes to project a positive image and one look could be the catalyst for change in your life. Open your eyes, sister – you never know who might be watching!

For more insight on this topic, click here.

Through keeping yourself firmly planted on the ground, you can more easily tap into your true identity and be strongly empowered as an individual. Here are some ways in which you can channel that energy of self-reliance that comes with not caring what others think:

1. Find some enlightening mantras and stick to them. Look up some quotes in books or online on whatever idea you want to add to your life. Perhaps you need a dose of confidence to feel comfortable enough to eat lunch by yourself or take on a difficult task that you have never done before. Using quotes as guides in your quest for a more centered, worry-free life can be a very effective way in motivating yourself toward change and a more healthy outlook on life!

2. Take the time to savor the silence. One of the hardest things in this day and age is allowing yourself to be comfortable with your own company. The world has become so connected that often, cell phones, laptops, and media devices have become ways to distract us from our inner feelings. Having moments of calm or introspection can sometimes be important mechanisms for our daily lives. Break away from technology once in a while and learn to live with the body you were given!

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3. Become familiar with your surroundings. Even if it means observing the route you take to work every day or becoming aware of the people around you, minus your headphones, being connected to the interpersonal world is something that should not be forgotten. As I said earlier, technology is a large part of our lives in recent decades and has caused a level of detachment among people in public spaces. Be THERE, in the moment, not somewhere else where you are not apart of the environment that you live in. What have you got to lose? Stay present!

4. Stay humble, yet grounded in belief. Sometimes people think that having strong morals or beliefs means that you must be vocal and borderline arrogant about them. That’s definitely not the right way to handle life, as staying humble is an important facet of drawing others to you, as well as showing your independence in viewpoints. If you keep your mantras and core ideals close to your heart, but don’t brag about them, you can stand out as someone who is confident in who they are without forcing your beliefs on others. Keep a level of calm about yourself, but never feel like you have to stifle your ideals!

5. View yourself as a role model. If you carry an air of confidence and vitality, others will automatically be drawn to you. By being who you are and not sacrificing your morals, you can channel your inner talent into whatever you do. By simply being your shining self and never letting go of what you hold dear, you can become a role model through your willingness to suspend doubt and truly embrace yourself without question. Independence takes strength and inner confidence, so by channeling optimism and foresight, anything is possible!

Having an independent air about you might take a bit of work on your part, especially if you are not used to inspiring confidence in yourself. However, once an inner-optimism is channeled and you start to feel yourself growing more bold with the minute, life starts to take on a new flavor and excitement! By simply becoming more aware of your surroundings and general aura that you emanate, it can become much easier to bring new feelings of calm and introspection into your life.

Through adding a clarity and awareness of what your values are, you begin to find new meanings for what you do and a renewed sense of purpose. Channel your independence and you have the capability of turning into the strong individual that you have always meant to be!

Is There A Connection Between Balance & Security?

1. Help you to reflect. After a bad, good, stressful, interesting, or all of the above day, it’s always good to wind down with some tunes. Also, if the day before needs some reflection, listening to music when you wake up makes starting the day a bit more bearable. In general, a good tune can change the way you view a situation, whether it’s in a good or bad light.

2. Share experiences with others. If you’re listening to music with your friends or family, certain memories might jump out and help to create a community between people through music. It’s always more fun when you say, “Hey, isn’t this a good song?” and someone yells out, “Yeah, this song is awesome!”

3. Lose yourself in emotions. Sometimes, after something good or really bad happens, it’s necessary to find a song that reflects that. Maybe it’s been a fantastic day and all you feel like hearing is “Pump It” by the Black Eyed Peas (do you remember that song?) and dance around the house. Or maybe the day was awful and you just feel like listening to some slow jams for a while. Whatever your mood is, there’s always a song to either intensify that mood or dispense it for something else. Just letting the emotions go is a great catharsis, therefore, put on the tunes when you’re in any mood!

4. Fill the silence. Music is great at distracting your mind or just generally giving you something to while driving (windows down, wind in your hair, blasting some good music…best combination, right?) or something to bop your head to while cleaning the house. There are a ton of times and places that music just makes for great mood escapism or a diversion from a day of work. It can just be good entertainment in general, since a personal soundtrack can make life more interesting.

5. Be an inspiration. Maybe you’re writing a blog entry (like I am) and need something to put you in the mood to write. Music is perfect for that – lyrics, beat, and melody put together are great ways to get yourself into a trance where words come easily. Right now, I’m just writing what I know about music and how it’s always affected me, but this entry definitely came to fruition through the good tunes I was blasting earlier. Inspiration can come from many sources and music, with its combination of strong melody and haunting words can be just what the writer, artist, or whatever your passion is to come to light.

6. Change the way you see the world. Music is a strong global entity. There are all types of music in the world, although many people in America only focus on what’s popular and right in front of them. People are making music all over the world, all with different purposes: social change, personal fulfillment, sharing their love of music with others, or just mindlessly filling the void with sounds and words. Whatever the music is, there’s its ability to influence your mood or view on life and the world as a whole. Through listening to music (or playing it, for that matter), emotions are released and sometimes these emotions can be a catalyst for change.

In general, music is important for reviving people’s views on the world, as well as helping keep every day emotions in check. Music can raise your mood or keep you in introspective thought; it can make you think of old memories or create new ones. In general, just listening to any type of music can have an effect on mood, so go out and keep jamming!

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1. Pick an activity that interests you and run with it (possibly literally!) If you can find an activity that involves exercise that you actually enjoy doing, it won’t be so hard to get yourself to go out and work up a sweat! For example, I’ve found that I enjoy doing yoga, which actually isn’t as easy as it looks. While it’s a stereotypically “relaxing” activity, it can actually be pretty strenuous – however, I usually come out of the hour class feeling simultaneously tired out and relaxed. As long as you find some form of exercise that gets you excited to work out, whether it be running, a sport like soccer or basketball, or even just hitting the exercise bikes at the gym, whatever gets your blood pumping is a good use of your time.

2. Get a group of friends or family members to join and/or support you! Why should exercise be a solitary activity, especially during the summer when outdoor activities are prime for groups? Ask some people close to you who also might want to get back into fitness to accompany you to an exercise class or if that’s not what they’re into, local YWCAs or recreation departments, for example, have tons of different activities to choose from. As long as you have support in your exercise endeavors, it’s easier to get back out there and feel motivated to stay active!

3. Schedule in at least half an hour a day to move. You could be doing something as simple as a beginner’s fitness DVD or taking a walk around your block – every bit of exercise counts to your body. If you work up your endurance over time by taking out time every day for an activity, your body will thank you for it, plus you’ll be able to keep up the pace longer. It’s important to keep yourself keep moving, no matter what – keeping up exercise over time will keep you healthier and help you live longer!

5 Ways To Accomplish The Most Before Summer Ends

4. Get outside. It’s the summer, so there’s no reason for you to be inside all of the time! The fresh air will do you good and there are plenty of ways you can get your strong, independent self some quality work-outs. Even just walking around the park or getting to the beach for a short swim can be the difference between being inactive and an active participant in life!

5. Use exercise as a way to rev yourself up or wind down. If you’re like me, exercise isn’t the way I relax, but more of a way to get myself pumped up for a day. However, I have some family members who claim that by working out, they are able to feel better about themselves in a relaxing way. Either way your brain works, if you correlate exercising with positive imaging, it’ll be more likely that you’ll keep up with the fitness in the future. Sisters, get yourselves out there and get your body moving!

Exercising and getting your body moving might be strenuous and hard to think about for some, but even during the summer, it’s important to keep up the fitness and not slack off on yourself! While a bit of rest and relaxation are always called for, there’s a fine line between taking a break from your daily stresses and being lazy. Be the strong, independent women you are and find some way to stay healthy, happy, and in-shape during the end of the warm weather!

5 Ways To Make Time For Reading During The Summer

It can be easy to get caught up in the stress of every day life, even in the summer. Maybe your family is driving you crazy or your work is strenuous, even during the warm months. It can be hard to anticipate a vacation when you still have so much on your plate, even if the vacation has been in the works for months! How do you transition from a stress-inducing life to lying by the pool, relaxing in the sun, and putting everything on hold? It’s difficult to get into the right mindset, but you can prepare yourself for fun in the sun if you know a few simple steps:

1. Put your stressful thoughts to rest. If you’re constantly worrying about stuff that’s going on in your life, where’s there time for you to be excited about your upcoming break? Nothing is too stressful that you can’t put it away for a short vacation. It’s important to remember that sometimes, space is all you need to reassure yourself that any worrying is in vain. By being able to reorganize your thoughts and see your vacation as a welcome break from your every day life, then you can relax and enjoy your time off effectively!

2. Start making a mental list of all the relaxing things you’ll soon be doing. What does your vacation entail that will make it a good catharsis for you? Will you be biking down a beach or drinking cocktails by the pool? Perhaps all you’re planning on is getting a good tan and finishing a favorite book. Whatever relaxing moments are on your agenda, it’s good to remind yourself about them a week in advance in order to prepare your mind for the good times that are coming! It can be hard to get into “vacation-mode” when you’re still very busy on the home-front, but starting to get yourself to a relaxing place while under stress is a great way to prepare yourself for a break in your routine!

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3. Prepare your living space for your departure. It might sound silly to clean your house while you’re packing up for a vacation, but if you leave your house in disarray, you’ll only be more stressed when you get home! Make sure to clean up after yourself as you’re packing up your clothes and vacation-related items (ie. don’t leave clothes on the floor), as well as make sure the garbage and recycling are done before you leave. If everything’s spotless when you leave, then you’ll have less of a reason to worry about things when you return!

4. Pack in advance. This might sound like a daunting task, since you’re already stressed and still trying to get into the vacation mindset. However, it’s important to remember to work toward your goal of relaxation in advance or you might never get there! By getting together your beach volleyball, for example, and sun-bathing essentials, you’re getting yourself into a mode where you can just sit back and read a book on the beach once you get there. You’re not running around like crazy the night before trying to get your vacation items into a suitcase and you’re able to have time to spare to catch the plane or load the car. De-stressing is a difficult task sometimes, but by being prepared for your relaxation catharsis, you’ll be able to release any negative energy more easily and have fun in the process!

5. Make sure you leave nothing undone before you leave. Never bring work on vacation unless it’s absolutely necessary. It doesn’t make for a relaxing vacation if you’re still attached to your Blackberry or anticipating a meeting that’s more than a week away – and you’re at the beach! Get everything you need to get done BEFORE you get in the car or catch the plane. How are you supposed to unwind if you’re thinking about all that you have to get done AFTER you get back? Traveling stress-free involves being industrious before you leave and then changing your mindset completely once you get to your new destination. Don’t leave anything undone – get everything together before you leave and you’ll thank yourself later!

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing times, so make sure you’re prepared to just lie back and take in the scenery while you’re there! Soak up the sun, girls, and make sure you do the activities that relax you while you’re away. You can come back to the office or your home relaxed, tan, and happier than you previously were. Sisters, we have to keep ourselves healthy, so de-stress and enjoy the rest of your summer in style!

Is There A Connection Between Balance & Security?

According to the Humane Society of Central Oregon, “The best spot for your dog during warm weather is inside a safe, cool house.” The heat can be oppressive in a car, even with the windows open, or just generally outside where the heat can become too much for the fur of some animals. A good dose of water, sun protection, and perhaps even a wading pool for overweight or older dogs, for example, is a good way to keep the pets cool while braving the heat.

Some other tips are:

1. Exercise pets when the temperatures are cooler (ie. mornings and evenings). It’s better to keep the pets protected from melted tar, which can collect on their paw pads or in their fur without proper precautions.

2. Avoid leaving pets in truck beds and cars, even with the windows down. A car’s temperature can go up to 120 degrees in only a few minutes, which can easily result in heatstroke for your beloved pet. Truck beds are dangerous, as the metal can get overheated and injury from falling or debris could be detrimental to an animal. Being kept in shady areas is your pet’s best bet for keeping cool.

3. Make sure to have a good supply of fresh water and notice how your pet is feeling. According to the ASPCA, some of the warning signs of heat stroke in animals are “excessive panting or difficulty breathing, increased heart and respiratory rate, drooling, mild weakness, stupor or even collapse. They can also include seizures, bloody diarrhea and vomit along with an elevated body temperature of over 104 degrees.” It’s important that you take note of any concerns and call your vet the moment you notice something’s wrong!

4. If your pet likes water, introduce them to swimming. Keep an eye on them, as not all dogs, for example, are good swimmers. Also, make sure to rinse them off afterward, especially if chlorine is involved, and don’t let them drink pool water (it might cause nausea).

5. If you keep your windows or doors open during the summer, make sure they’re screened in. Pets that like to explore (ie. cats) are highly at risk for “high-rise syndrome,” which occurs when pets fall out of windows or doors and are injured due to poor screening. If you want to protect your pets, make sure to keep your windows and doors pet-safe.

6. If needed, trim your pet’s fur. The recommended length by the ASPCA is one-inch-length, but never down to the skin. Plus, sunscreen or insect repellent labeled for animal use is a good plan, just in case the summer heat continues to get to them. If you have cats, brush their fur more often to prevent heat issues.

In general, just make sure your animals are comfortable during this heat wave – it could save their life!

SUMMER GUIDE: How To Make The Most Of Your Summer Plans

Summer Guide: Take A Dip

Sometimes, life just doesn’t go your way. The situation might not be detrimental to your life, but for most people, the first instinct might be to think a lot about it and try to understand what happened. However, in reality, if the issue is out of your control, it’s best to let it go and move on. That’s not easy, though, is it? While everyone could be telling you not to worry and that everything’s going to be alright, if you’re like me and live for structure, that can be a hard thing to deal with. What do you do when you just need to relax and let it be? I’ve been reading a book (which is coming out as a movie next month) called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and it deals a lot with just freeing your mind and accepting your life as it is. A line from the book best summarizes what I’m trying to say: “Try dropping it…sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens.” Letting your mind wander when the going gets tough can be hard, but what if regaining control means releasing your hold on the negative? Here are five steps to helping with that process:

1. Reorganizing your thoughts. It can be hard to see things the way they really are if your mind is focused on the “what ifs” and “should haves.” Letting go of the negative energy and focusing on what the upside of the situation is can really be a strong asset to your mind. Only you can take control of who you are, what you do, and what you think. So, keep your optimism up and shuck the negative, as focusing on something you can’t control just relinquishes your hold on life. Worrying doesn’t change a thing – so why not take control of your thoughts?

2. Staying on schedule. Getting back into your daily routine can help you regain some of the control you have lost. If you’ve been feeling like everything has been changing, keep yourself in check by going about life as normal. It might just give you the confidence you need to move forward!

3. Giving yourself a positive mantra. Maybe you have a favorite song that you find uplifting or there’s a quote that just gets to you. All you need sometimes is a positive reinforcement of the good things in your life to keep you going. A cliche line that I’ve heard thousands of times that never changes is “Life goes on.” Remembering that line or anything else that seems to ring true with you – it’s important to make sure you’re always keeping the faith.

Living Life Through Words: How Can Quotes Inspire You?

4. Surrounding yourself with positive influences. If there are some people who are not being understanding of what you’re going through, they’re not worth it! There are a ton of others who will listen or help you regain your hold on life. Life is too short to let others bring you down or keep the negative in your life. You’re never alone, so embrace who and what you have – it’s never too late to ask for help!

5. Being yourself. Never forget who you are and where you came from. If being in control of yourself has always been your mantra and stronghold, get yourself back to where you came from with the past four steps. It’s important to see yourself for who you are than to think that the one in control isn’t you. You’re always in control of your own destiny, so sister, keep it up!

Retaking control of your life can be a process, but it’s not hard if you have a positive attitude and strong people around you to help – keep the faith and never let yourself go! You only have one life, so don’t waste it worrying or keeping your feelings inside. Take control of what you have and ask for help if you need it. The first step may be the hardest, but also the most fulfilling – don’t ever give up and the power is yours!

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He did it with the ease of someone who does stuff like that on a regular basis and it made me happy to see that there are people like that in the world. I’m always surprised when people hold doors for me or see someone helping a group of tourists with directions. It’s rare in a society we have today that people drop what they’re doing to help a stranger or just be of assistance to someone they’ll likely never see again. Why are random acts of kindness so important in our society?

1. Random acts of kindness are quick, but resonate. Even if you were just giving up your seat on the train to someone who needs it or if it’s someone you know, listening to them ramble about their problems, you’re being kind and using your time to help them. These were short, voluntary actions – being a good person doesn’t cost a thing and even if they weren’t large actions, they could have a substantial impact on the other person.

2. They’re rare in a busy world. Just being in the city all the time, it’s a very anonymous environment and people are always running everywhere. It’s nice to see someone being helped out on the subway or given assistance because they’re lost. One of my family members once lost their wallet in a big city, but the person tracked them down to return it. When people are treated with kindness just for being human, it’s a nice feeling and helps all of us feel connected as a group, not just individuals.

3. Favors and little gestures can make a difference. You never know what the other person might be going through. They could be upset over something you’d never understand, but by you being kind to them unconditionally and out of the goodness of your heart, this could be a turning point for them. The more people help each other out, the better world we have. Every little bit counts!

4. It might just be what the person needed. Maybe they were having a bad day and you just happened to hold the door for them. That small gesture could possibly change their whole mood and make them look at life in a different way. Doing something nice for someone else can be the quickest way to improve the world we live in.

5. Everyone deserves a little kindness. Your family, friends, strangers – we’re all people. Even if you just look around you and see what you can do to ease someone’s burden or brighten someone’s day, it’s noticed. Treat your friend who’s had a bad week to lunch or help an older woman with a box that they can’t carry. It’s all important to the well-being of this world!

The little things in one’s life in general could be what makes life worth living. Maybe a good song came on the radio or you took a well-deserved nap after a long day. It’s especially important, though, what you do for others and how your random acts of kindness could be the bread and butter of their life. Get out there, sisters, and make a difference in someone else’s life!

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For some people, this doesn’t happen very often because they just go with the ebbs and tides of life. Most of the time, it’s easy to go with the flow, but when there’s a lack of balance in life, as the yin and yang goes, does it change things? I’ve been thinking about this idea lately because when it’s been a long week and something goes wrong, it’s hard to not feel off balance. For example, forgetting your cell phone at home or not packing extra money is an inconvenience, but also can make you feel vulnerable or out of sorts. Does an unnoticed security come with keeping your life balanced and ordered or is it more complex than that?

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If you’re the most comfortable when things are going your way, then you’re like most people. It’s hard to let go of yourself and just let things happen as they’re meant to happen. Having a balance in life is what many religions and mantras state as being one of the calmest states. It’s true, though – when you feel like you’re been given both challenges and freedom in succession, then you feel accomplished and peaceful at the same time. However, this balance also gives you a sense of security that you’re doing fine even if not everything is perfect. You could be stressing about your next move, but know that with the bad comes the good in an endless circle of unity. It’s the security in knowing that nothing stays the same forever and that bad situations shall pass, leading into better pastures. Security is also the opposite of vulnerability, which is what happens when things feel “off-balance.” Should this be the way your mind deals with the changes that inevitably come up in life?

Having equality in all areas of life is impossible most of the time. It’s pretty rare when everything feels completely perfect, yet it’s what we strive for. The trick is learning to live with the imperfections of complete balance and strive to have as much unity in your life as possible. That might mean calming yourself down when something doesn’t go quite the way you planned, but assuring yourself that everything will balance out eventually. Balance doesn’t necessarily have to mean security, even it might make you feel secure. Life is an ever-moving sphere of changes and feeling off balance for a day or more doesn’t have to be such a trial. The quote, “This too shall pass” is actually a comforting line in these types of situations, representing the idea that everything always comes full circle. It’s important to remember that balance is a relative idea and that whatever you consider to be “stressful” might not even be a cause for concern. By realizing that balance is all in your mind, then you can truly come to realize what real unity and peace is.

Living Life Through Words: How Can Quotes Inspire You?

Therefore, it’s vital to remind yourself occasionally that balance and security are all in your head – what may seem balanced and secure to one person might be off-kilter to another. It’s all about finding your stress-free zone and realizing that you can feel secure even if everything isn’t going your way. It’s all about tricking your mind into changing its tune and realizing that some things are just meant to be the way they are. Sisters, nothing is set in stone, so make your life as stress-free as you want it to be!

What gives you balance and/or security in your life? Post your ideas below in the comments.

With all of the technological advances that have come about in the last decade, it’s a wonder we can focus on any one thing at once. Your phone could be ringing, internet chat buzzing, and someone could be poking you on the shoulder (or online!) all at the same time. The best descriptive image I can think of is of an octopus using all of its limbs to juggle many tasks at once.

While you might think that by doing multiple things at once that you’re being “productive,” you might be wrong. According to an article from The Business Insider, it’s a smarter idea to focus on one task at a time than to try and break up your attention span. While it might appear to “speed up” your progress to do multiple things at once, you’re only weakening your cognitive ability and concentration levels. What’s the best way to remedy the divide between concentration and getting work done effectively?

The way that it makes most sense to get the most work done without compromising concentration is the “interval training” method. In “interval training,” you focus on one task at a time, but with breaks in between. This is apparently more effective because it forces you to concentrate on one task, but you don’t have the pressure to do it all at once. The phrase I’ve heard in my family for years, “How do you eat an elephant? Break it up into small chunks” is actually the best way to accomplish a task and do it well, too. If you’re constantly flipping around to different browsers on your computer or reading multiple tasks at once, how are you expected to get just ONE done? Focus on one task and put the rest on the back-burner. This ensures that you’re not breaking up your mind’s concentration and more will get done this way!

Some tips for accomplishing this task? Set aside set blocks of half an hour to forty-five minutes to work on one specific task. Put on some soothing music, limit the distractions, and work on what you have to do for the allotted amount of time. Take a break with a snack or something enjoyable and then get back on task. The discipline and structure will prevent you from deterring your focus or concentration, therefore, much more will get done – THEN it’s time to relax! Put aside your cell phone, Blackberry, or other distracting technical devices, unless you’re waiting for an important message. Over-use of technology can redirect your mind somewhere else – and that’s what you’re trying to avoid!

How else do you increase your productivity? Comment below with your ideas!

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Picture this happening: someone you like sends you a text message, touches your arm, gives you a look, or does something that could have multiple meanings. What do you do? For a lot of us, it means over-analyze the situation: go over everything they said, their body language, or in text/IM/e-mail cases, reread the message over and over again to try and pull some meaning out of it. I know I do it all the time, but that’s just because I’m an over- thinker: I think far too much about signals and read into what might be true, although a lot of the time, there wasn’t anything there to analyze. Over-thinkers get a bad rap: some people find it “too much” or don’t like nit-picking what they say because they “didn’t mean it ANY way.” It’s hard, though to curb your ideas about a situation and effectively identify the “real” meaning behind words when you see so many possibilities. The best thing most of the time is to not think anything at all: be neutral and just “go with the flow” like the other person seems to be doing. That’s a tough act to follow, but once you can purge yourself of thoughts of what may or may not be occurring behind the scenes, it’s much easier to cope with life and be in touch with your “chill” side.

It might have all been said before, but seriously, it’s easier to see things for how they are, not for how they might be. For example, your friend MIGHT be saying she has to go home because she’s tired OR she might just be angry at you. Which one could it be? Did her tone of voice suggest anything? Sometimes it’s better to just let things go and move on with your day. If this was said in a text, this should be taken even more with a grain of salt. How can you tell ANYTHING that might be going on through a text unless you have a strong sense of how they would say it in real life? If you don’t know them well, you should ask them about in person or just move on because over-analyzing the situation by yourself isn’t going to help at all.

Like the phrase says, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” There are many better things to do with your day then to linger your thoughts onto what someone said (at least not ALL of the time – sometimes it’s okay) or what one stupid argument with someone you barely knew meant. Like I said in my article called Don’t Let Technology Mess Up Real Life Relationships, anything said through technology should just as easily be able to be said in person, so texting is basically a fail for communication, except when it’s just a short few words you need to tell someone about plans or meeting up for coffee. Otherwise, it’s easier to over-analyze and wonder what the other person meant because words on a page don’t come with soundbites except for audio-books. The tone is missing and the true intent isn’t easily deciphered. In general, it’s just a better policy to let go of any preconceptions about a situation unless you talk it over with them or if it’s truly paranoia, try to put the anxiety behind you.

While some people truly do have anxiety problems, most of us are just way too preoccupied with possible motives for situations that we miss out on what’s really going on. To learn to let go and move on with life, it makes living easier because less confusion and hurt is felt unnecessarily. It’s better not to worry about every little thing and just go about life with a bit more optimism and confidence – it makes you stronger and more independent in life and everything seems brighter!

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I was just reading about a movie that came out last year called Breaking Upwards about a couple who decided to break up, BUT not really. The story is partly based on actual events between director/actor Daryl Wein and actress Zoe Lister-Jones, which definitely makes the storyline something to think about. The premise is that they decide that after four years of being together, it just wasn’t working as monogamous and they decide to slowly start to see other people while not actually “breaking up.” This intrigues me – even though my lack of relationship experience precedes me, the whole idea of being “in a relationship” means being loyal to each other, so I can’t imagine just going with the flow and having such an ambiguous relationship. Can “making the rules” to your own personal relationship actually work in real life?

Some things to consider about this type of relationship are:

1. Will you get jealous if your partner starts seeing someone else?

2. Does the “openness” or ambiguity make you uncomfortable?

3. Are you prepared to become monogamous or break-up if this situation goes in either direction?

While I don’t have the answers or examples to share of real-life application of this type of relationship, let’s consider the character Carrie Bradshaw in the movie that recently came out, Sex & The City 2. Carrie is a column writer for a living and actually writes about this exact topic in the movie, since her and her husband have decided to try something new in their relationship. At the beginning of this movie, her and her husband of two years, Big have been having some trouble accepting that it’s “just the two of us” with no baby in their future, although that’s by choice. While Carrie wants to go out and have fun, Big just wants to stay in and watch TV after coming home from work. With these conflicting lifestyles, Big suggests that they “make their own rules” in the relationship and have two nights a week where they stay in separate apartments and do what they want. While Carrie is hesitant at first, she decides that they should give it a try and at first it seems to work out. However, once they’ve done it once, Carrie starts to wonder if this is how their marriage will always be and panics. However, in the end, once they start to appreciate and miss each other, they decide to go back to living together and getting the “sparkle” back in their marriage.

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Despite “Breaking Upwards” being semi-fictional and Carrie Bradshaw’s situation being from a movie script, these same types of situations do happen in real life. I have a friend who was going out a guy for about two years before they decided to try “free love” and have an open relationship. Her boyfriend started seeing her friend on the side for a while, but in the end, they eventually became monogamous again. Since there was an understanding and limited jealousy, this situation worked for that moment in time (although they’ll no longer together today). What I’m trying to say is, it’s about the individual, the situation at hand, and the chemistry/trust in the relationship to begin with. It’s always possible for “making up the rules” to work, as long as both people are willing to try it and still put the same effort in the relationship to make it work. That’s what all relationships are about: always keep the communication open and anything is possible!

Breaking The Boundaries: Cross Cultural Dating

Scanning a street in any given city, you see people walking around listening to their iPods or talking on their cell phones, but a large number of these are even children as young as 6 or 7 years old. You could be sitting in a restaurant and there’s a child playing a video game at the table or playing with his mom’s cell phone. It’s unreal how much children know about the new technological devices on the market, since past generations didn’t have internet so accessible (or even have it at all) or phones that they could take anywhere they want. It’s all new to recent decades and we don’t even know the effects on children of being so exposed to technology.

The question I’m posing is, how soon is too soon to get a child a cell phone or an iPod?

One of the main ideas to consider about technology and children is: are they getting enough exposure to life outside of the one present inside a television, computer, cell phone, etc.? Back in the day (even ten years ago), children were outside climbing trees, playing sports like baseball in the park, or playing tag outside much more than today’s kids. The onset of technology into children’s lives has made playing Wii sports more desirable than playing soccer outside or going on the computer instead of going to the pool. While obviously children still find their ways into the great outdoors, there are more distractions for them now that video games, iPods, and cell phones have found themselves into the hands of today’s youth. Parents have begun buying into the “easy ways” to entertain children and televisions have become new-found babysitters. Is this necessarily the way the world should be – where technology obscures the great outdoors – especially in such nice weather during the summer? As well, what should the ground rules be for children and new gadgets?

Some ground rules I recommend:

1. Cell phones don’t need to be given to children until they truly need to ask for rides to and from places. This is typically around middle school age when after-school activities tend to take up extra time after school and the child is not necessarily home at a specific time every night. I’ve seen children as young as 8 or 9 years old carrying around cell phones and find it odd that their parents would pay for something they most likely just play games on. Who does an 8 year old need to call that they can’t do on the house phone? Another point to make is: if your child has a cell phone, they should learn cell phone etiquette and know not to text at the dinner table, for example. Adults might already have these bad habits, but children pick up stuff quickly and early on: why not nip it in the bud if they have bad habits? The general rule of thumb is that children shouldn’t be ignoring someone right in front of them because they’re distracted by technology.

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2. Video games are acceptable for school age children, although the game ratings should be checked and the games shouldn’t substitute for outdoor playing. Virtual games are never as good as the real thing, right? Children should be learning social skills on the playground or kicking a ball outside with their siblings, although they don’t ALWAYS have to be outdoors to have fun. Video games can be really fun and educational (age appropriateness matters!), but they shouldn’t be the only form of entertainment for children. Also, hand-held video games shouldn’t be played at the dinner table or when they should be talking to others. Social skills are formed when children are put in situations when they have to speak to others, making it counterproductive to be playing a video game at the time. Plus, it’s incredibly rude to ignore people because you’re looking down at your video game, so children should be reprimanded for doing so.

3. Although iPods are pretty expensive typically, there are some smaller models (like the iPod shuffle or nano) that you can get your child if they really want to listen to music. It’s unreal seeing some children with more expensive iPods (like the iPod classic) when they’re only 9 years old, but children that age still like music. You just have to think, will my child be rough with this gadget and break it? Can they handle something this expensive? It depends on the child, but it is rather outrageous to spend a mint for the latest iPod for a child still in elementary school. Plus, children should learn the etiquette of when it’s appropriate to listen to their iPod, since bad habits can develop early on in life (I wish some people had learned from childhood that it’s rude to listen to music when someone’s talking to you!).

As for any technological device, you have to consider how old the child is and how much they will benefit from it. Just buying random gadgets for 9 year olds seems a bit extreme, but some children are more mature than others and can handle expensive devices earlier. It depends on the child, the family, and how much time they’ve been exposed to playgrounds, playing with other children, and spent in the real world, not just the technological one. For example, children shouldn’t just be set in front of the television from a young age and expect to have strong social skills all the way around.They need a balance of playing outside with others and being tech savvy that previous generations didn’t have. The world may have changed in terms of what’s available for children to do, but kids still need the same form of social bonding. Children have a unique curiosity that makes it hard for them to resist the newest gadgets – Apple products, for example, are shiny, silvery, and have incredibly clever stores. However, we can’t forget about what’s all around us in nature or we wouldn’t be human.

1. Don’t think too much about what you want. Sometimes, when you concentrate too much on “finding” what you’re looking for, nothing goes the way you planned. For example, if you focus on the fact that you’re on a date or job interview, you may become too nervous and make the situation awkward. The best things happen when you least expect it or when you’ve all but given up, so just put your best face on and go with the flow, at least for a little while. See how it feels to relax and let things happen – it might even be to your benefit.

2. Know when to intervene into your own life. While it’s good to take a step back and not think about what you’re looking for, it’s a balance: you also have to know when it’s good to take action. Maybe you have an opportunity to jump on a job interview, but you’re nervous that it’s not exactly what you want. It’s not worth it just to sit back and watch opportunities go by. What have you got to lose besides a possibly a life-changing moment?

3. Keep your options open. For example, you might have the opportunity to interview for the “perfect” job, but there’s also another job opportunity. To use a quote most people know, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” You never know what’s “perfect” until you actually have the opportunity to test it out.

How Do Other People Really View You?

4. Don’t be snobby about your self-worth. You know you deserve better than “second best,” but even so, don’t rub it in other people’s faces. Everyone deserves something or someone that empowers them. It’s nothing new that everyone is an individual, unique, and worth more than the leftovers of someone else’s dream. It might sound cliche, but it’s true: be respectful to others and treat them the way you want to be treated. Life is what you make it and you have to think about others or it all falls apart.

5. Be yourself. This is the best advice, since how do you expect to be able to find something that “makes sense” unless you are true to yourself? If you don’t know what you want, you might just find what you need if you don’t change yourself unnecessarily. If you forget you’re looking for anything and just act as normal, life is bound to fall into place. Reference #1 if you doubt this logic.

This topic reminds me of quotes from two movies with similar titles and completely different plots, but the same outcome: if you’re not looking for something special, it’ll most likely surprise you in an unlikely place. Here are the quotes:

“Next time…we will laugh more, we’ll love more. We just won’t be so afraid” – Queen Latifah’s character in Last Holiday. Basically, this quote is implying that you always have second chances, but you have to remember what you deserve and need. Life can change winds at any time and you have to embrace every moment to your best potential if it’s going to be worth it.

“…in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like the best friend.” – The Holiday. This movie is about reclaiming yourself through change and realizing that you deserve better than what you’ve been accepting. In order to be the strong, independent woman you are, you have to keep your moral alive and be the best person you can be. Don’t accept anything less.

In general, it’s important to focus on what’s best for you in the long run. As long as you treat others with respect and keep your cool, patience pays off and you can go about life knowing that you’re not “settling for less.” You just got to know when to intervene to make things right.

Stop Over-Analyzing And Start Living Your Life

When something unexpected happens, it comes as a surprise and catches us off-guard. Things “going as planned” doesn’t happen as often as we’d like, therefore, we strive to have everything in order and be on top of situations. The question is, knowing the social implications, how do you turn down plans late without offending the other person?

1. Make the sure other person knows you’re sincere. Keeping the other person’s trust is the key – you can’t have an honest relationship with anyone if they think you’re subtly trying to blow them off. If you’re breaking the plans in order to see someone else, this makes the situation tricky. Being honest with the friend instead of making up excuses may be hard, but in the long run, they’ll thank you for not making plans behind their back.

2. Apologize with a legitimate reason. Tell them the situation you’re in and make sure they know that you’re sorry. When the reason is both believable and understandable, the other person doesn’t feel as put off by your cancellation. It’s the combination of being able to relate to the excuse and a heartfelt apology that keeps the mood up.

3. Make new plans to replace the canceled ones. By keeping the communication open and making it clear that you do want to take a rain-check, the other person doesn’t feel as slighted. It’s the sincere idea that you want to reschedule the plans that makes the abrupt cancellation much easier to take.

4. And most importantly, use your charm and personality to smooth things over. Keep the good humor and make them remember why they like being around you! It’s not that hard to keep the communication open, which will in turn keep your relationships safe from misunderstanding.

5. Be yourself. It’s the only genuine way to make things right in any relationship. Keep the faith that with these communication tips and your own knowledge that everything will turn out fine after plans are canceled.

Don’t Let Technology Mess Up Real Life Relationships

How Many “Fish In The Sea” Does Your Body Attract?

I was just reading an article about how obesity can cause a strain on the feet (as well as the knees, lungs, and even brain!) which have the propensity to inhibit physical activity. While this isn’t the only reason for foot issues, it certainly doesn’t change the situation for many people. Being off the feet for long periods of time due to injury or foot pain isn’t a good thing, as physical exertion is necessary for good health. In the United States, two-thirds of adults and one-third of children are overweight or obese, which begs the question, what’s the best way to keep a healthy lifestyle and avoid foot problems? As well, if you’re already experiencing foot pain, how can this be treated?

Some of the various foot problems involved when extra weight puts strain on the tendons, ligaments, and bones are: flat feet, inflamed tendons, sore heels, and arthritis of the foot and ankle. While many of these issues start during childhood or are unrelated to weight, an increase in weight can enhance the problems and make them worse. For example, arthritis of the foot and ankle can be a difficult situation to overcome, especially if you’re on your feet a lot for a job, for example. Foot pain can be a huge issue, especially if it causes you to have to sit out on life activities and lose the exercise that could turn the heel or tendon issues around. What should you do about these issues?

5 Lifestyle Changes:

1. Daily exercise (even if it’s for 30 minutes a day) can go a long way. Walk, run, bike, swim – it’s Summertime now – get outside!

2. Change up your diet. Fruits, vegetables (of all colors) and moderation are just many ways to change your daily routine to fit a healthier lifestyle.

For food ideas to deal with that stress, check out this article: 9 Foods That Reduce Stress Levels

3. Be committed to change. The worst thing you can do is to sit around and not acknowledge that changes need to be made, especially if you’ve having severe foot pain.

4. Stick to a written contract you make to yourself. Writing it down is the best way to ensure that everything gets accomplished.

5. Get your family and friends in on it. Make sure they know the of the commitment you’re making to your health – you can have people cheering you on and making sure you do what you need to do! Also, maybe they need help and encouragement as well!

5 Ways To Treat Foot Pain:

1. A change of shoes could go a long way. Or inserts, braces or special shoes that can take some weight off of the feet themselves.

2. Medications can be helpful, especially if it’s chronic pain. Ask your doctor for an examination in order to get recommendations as to what to do.

3. Special exercises or physical therapy could help bring your feet back to where you want them to be.

4. Surgery could also be an alternative, if your doctor thinks you need that type of treatment. The key message is to get your feet checked out by a doctor if the pain is severe or if you worry about what could be wrong.

5. Change your lifestyle and many of these alternatives might not have to occur. Also, when you’re off your feet for a while with an injury, make sure to consult your doctor as to how you can rehabilitate your feet and get back into motion.

For more information on this topic, check out this article.

What Does Your Morning “Cup Of Joe” Do For You?

Apparently, people as old as their 60′s are sharper mentally than when they were younger, which supports the idea that getting older actually makes you wiser. While I could get into the details of this study (check out the book here), I really want to explore why in this culture the older we get, the less revered we are in the workplace and why even after studies such as these, there’s still ageism in America.

After being in the workplace for years, it’s pretty common to see young 20-somethings working alongside those in their 40s and 50s. It’s also unfortunately clear to notice a discrepancy or cut-off age where jobs are more likely to be lost. The younger, more experienced workers are almost always coveted because they come “bright” and “fresh with ideas,” even though those who already know what they’re doing could be the ones holding up the company.

Why is it that we’d want to immediately instate 20-somethings into the workplace when the ones who have the years under their belt could be assets for bringing everyone up to speed? While it’s great for the younger workers to get a chance, especially in this economy, it’s also important to keep those with strong skills for the job in the position to teach the up-and-comers. While these discrepancies could also be due to money troubles, it’s wrong for the stereotype of the deteriorating brain in middle-aged or older workers to be used as grounds to fire people who have been working at the same place for years. According to some experts’ weigh-ins on the subject, “Older people are [also] less likely to respond thoughtlessly to negative emotional stimuli because their brains have slowed down compared to young people. This, in fact, is what we call wisdom.” The older you get, the more calm your decision making gets. This could create a balanced environment in the workplace that might not otherwise be there.

Although it is true that cognitive abilities do slow with age, the study does say: “What we have learned from studying the time we call ‘middle age’ is that the changes that take place as we age give us the best brains of our lives.” Is that the type of worker you really want to pass up? It’s clear from this study that we should be working in unison with the older and younger workers to create a happy medium of job security and understanding.

What do you think about ageism discrimination in the workplace?

5 Ways You’re Judged At Work

How To Successfully Brave The Anonymity Of A Big City

The main difference between having a bad week and insomnia is that stress typically causes a bad night or week’s loss in sleep, however, insomnia is an underlying fear or inability to sleep that causes you to stay up late thinking or focus on other things as distractions. I definitely know a few people besides myself who just find excuses to stay up late on a regular basis. For example, I’ve heard the line countless times, “I only had four more chapters left of that book – I HAD to finish it.” That’s okay once in a while, but if you’re just finding things to fill your time instead of sleeping, you’re definitely not on the right schedule and need to fix your biological clock in order to sleep.

I’ve heard all of my life about how important sleep is to daily functioning and your immune system as a whole. Lack of sleep can cause you to make silly mistakes at work or even put yourself in dangerous situations like walking in front of a moving vehicle. Everyone has their off weeks where they have to work late or they just got out of a bad relationship and can’t stop thinking about it until the early morning hours. However, if you’re only getting 6 or less hours of sleep a night or posting Facebook updates at 4am, there’s nothing good about that.

If you have to get up early for work the next day and you’re still puttering around the internet until you hear the birds chirping outside, it’s counterproductive. If you’re not really doing anything important, go to bed. Even if you are, do you really think it’s going to turn out well when you’re running on no sleep? Your mind and body will thank you for not putting so much strain on them to stay awake. Does it really make sense to go to your job, sit at your desk and have to chug coffee because you can’t concentrate? Besides the obvious health benefits of beating insomnia, dreams are really important, too – you need your R.E.M. sleep to consolidate your memories and keep your mind sharp. Insomnia is a difficult thing to deal with – any night without the ability to sleep and way too many thoughts running through your head makes for a foggy day and a hard time being productive. Sometimes, sleep improves creativity, but in the long run, a constant bout of insomnia could make any creative progress incoherent and not worth the sacrifice.

There are some various ways to beat insomnia, including sleep medication, which a doctor can prescribe for you. However, if this isn’t something that helps you or you just occasionally have an issue sleeping, one of the best ways to get your sleep clock back in order is to go to bed at the same time every night. I don’t mean 3am or any time after 12am, but between the hours of 10-12am is a better way to go. You actually lose sleep if you go to bed after 12am and feel more rested when you’re in bed before that hour in terms of biology. Keeping a normal scheduled time for sleep is an important way to beat insomnia, although as I said before, simple methods like this might not work for you and medication might have to step in. Another way to regain your biological clock is to turn off all electronics at least an hour before you want to sleep. All of the light from your laptop or the television can animate you too much and keep you awake. Your body needs to wind down and prepare to sleep, not just be thrown into “slumber” when you still want to go out and dance. Make sure to wind down with a good book or just lie down for a while. Make sure that you can just drift into slumber instead of wanting to find something else to do.

Keep these ideas in mind and make sure you go to a doctor if you think you might need sleep aid. It’s always better to get a second opinion from a professional in order to keep your strong, independent self healthy!

To read more about Patricia Morrisroe’s book about insomnia, check out an interview she did here.

I Dream Of Flying…And Twitter?: The New “Sweet Dreams”

How To Get Rest While You’re Revved Up On Caffeine

I just read an argument and its rebuttal on the subject of best friends and it really made me think: is it bad to just have one best friend or is having a lot of close friends the better way to go? While from first glance, the article about the “horrors” of a child having a “BFF (Best Friends Forever)” seemed just like an overprotective parent trying to micromanage their child’s life, but even so, I could see some clear points in there that struck a chord with me. Limiting yourself in any way, shape, or form in terms of who you consider a “friend” is limiting how you see the world. Situations with friends can change on the instant, so why put yourself in a position where if one friend leaves forever, you have no one to fall back on? It’s good to be open to whomever you meet and any potential friendship that comes your way. I see the other view, too, though, that unless you spend time nurturing a friendship, you never truly become close to anyone. Which is more important or is there equal weight in both arguments?

I know that throughout my life, I’ve had both scenarios – one best friend that I could talk to about everything, as well as multiple close friends with whom I felt a strong connection to. I also have those acquaintances that I only say hi when I see them and have small talk, but we don’t have a strong connection like I have with other friends. I truly feel like you can’t limit yourself to who you consider a friend because things can change in an instant and who sticks out all the bad moments is truly someone you can trust. Personally, I just have a group of friends I can call my confidants, but also groups of people I just have fun with. Why does it have to be all or nothing? There’s always a range of people that you share certain things with, a rolling river where trust comes in different forms. When there’s one person that you can share everything with and they’re not judgmental, that’s definitely “BFF” material. However, you can have multiple “BFF”s and feel a strong connection to them all, but in different ways.

Enter HelloBeautiful’s “Beautiful Friendship” Contest!

I don’t think friendship can be so concrete. Children should be allowed to befriend whomever they want, as long as they’re safe and are allowed to learn what it means to be a friend through relating with others. For me, it wasn’t until the end of middle school and early high school that I learned the difference between true and superficial friendships. I don’t think it would be as clear to me as it is now if I hadn’t had that learning experience and gained a firsthand understanding of interpersonal relationships. I don’t even regret the moments of clarity I had to have as to who was toxic and who wasn’t because it’s helped me in the present day to differentiate who I want to keep in contact with. Although it’s important for parents of younger children to reinforce connections, by a certain age, the parenting reigns need to be pulled in and kids should learn on their own to read social cues. It’s invaluable human experience to be able to relate with others and figure out who fits with you. As I wrote this, I thought of an anonymous quote I once heard, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” and in looking it up, I found a link to what exactly that means. It’s interesting to think of friends in those categories instead of “best” or “close” or “acquaintance.” The “lifetime” friends are the ones that are your “best,” or the ones that are always there for you. However, there are always others that are harder to categorize and sometimes it’s best not to since life is ever-changing.

I know a girl who I sort of knew throughout elementary and middle school, but it wasn’t until high school and college that we became part of a group of close friends. When parents try to dictate the friendships of their children, that could be stunting the natural growth of their child’s connections. Whoever is meant to be there at certain times in a person’s life is never set in stone, but in the end, it’s the journey that matters. That might sound cliche, but why label friendships anyway? Maybe it’s just better to let friendships fall into place by themselves, rather than rank the level of connection you have with individual people.

What are your thoughts on friendship, childhood or otherwise? Post your comments below.

Is It Really In The Eyes? Body Language Decoded.

How To Embrace Your Nervousness & Just Be Yourself

You know the type. The friend that calls you up and always seems to have a problem. They want you to “do a favor” for them, but this isn’t the first time they’ve asked. The “favor” always benefits them, but sometimes it’s not worth your time, especially when you have other things to do. They’re constantly sucking you dry with their issues, running up your phone bill, asking you to drive them places, and basically just using you to their benefit. However, whenever you need to talk or need them to help you out with something, they’re conveniently busy or just keep discussing their own life. Being friends with this person is a drain on your life, but it’s sometimes hard to recognize that you’re being manipulated, especially if you’re really close to them. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break, but you need to know what to look for before you know if it’s happening to you.

Here are some general traits of manipulators and how you can stop this from happening in your life:

1. They constantly have to reassure you that “you’re the best!” or that you’re “saving their life!” If this doesn’t happen very often and you legitimately are doing them a decent favor, than that’s fine. However, if this happens all the time, you’re getting walked all over because the favors are not going to stop. If you like doing favors, then that’s okay for you, but if you’re constantly being guilt-tripped into doing it because you’ve helped them out before, then that’s the kiss of death.

2. They guilt-trip you. Like I said before, if you’ve helped them out before and that’s the only reason they want you to help over and over again, then this isn’t a healthy system. You should be helping people because you like them and want to do good by them, not because the other party is expecting you to be the “helpful friend” 24/7. For instance, if they ask you to drop everything and give them a ride somewhere just because you have a car and have driven them around before, then make you feel bad for not being available – that’s a guilt trip and they don’t want you for you. They want you for your car and that’s not something you want to become a precedent.

3. They only talk to you when they need to vent or want something. The rest of the time, they aren’t listening, even if you’ve had a good day and wanted to share that with them. The friendship isn’t very balanced since they especially aren’t around if you’re having a bad time and need to vent, as well. It’s kind of like you’re their therapist and person to dump things on, not their friend to share the good and the bad like in a healthy relationship. You should be able to be happy or sad and they’re willing to chat, not one or the other. If you’re spending your time listening to them, but they’re not for you, then your friendship is very one-sided.

4. They bad-mouth you to others when they don’t get their way. Maybe you couldn’t drive them somewhere or you couldn’t make it to their party, but they weren’t happy about that and for example, they could accuse you of lying to them. When your back is turned, a manipulator decides to get others on her side and turn people against you. She makes you out to be the “bad guy,” while she comes out the victim because that’s how the story was turned. However, once everything blows over, she could have destroyed other possible friendships for you, but you might never know why. In this case, the “friend” is sneaky and not really worth your time, since they have a “high-school-drama” streak and just want to come out the winner.

5. They try to steal your friends and/or your man. Maybe this scenario in #4 happens and she’s told all of YOUR friends that you’re the “bad guy.” It’s possible that she could try to turn your friends against you for her gain, since she seems to have twisted a story around in her favor. Maybe she’s decided to bad-mouth you in front of your boyfriend and he believes her manipulations  – this could be the end to a good relationship just because she ushered her way into your other relationships. This “friend” is not trustworthy and is one to take advantage of your weaknesses for her gain. This is a dangerous situation, so it’s best to be wary with secrets around this sister.

5 Ways To Not Settle For Less Than You Deserve

While not all “manipulators” do this sort of thing, these are just some examples of how one or more “friends” could take advantage of you unnecessarily. How do you deal with a girl that’s this out to get you?

1. Don’t let them get the best of you. She’s good at playing games, therefore, don’t let yourself get entangled in them. If she really cared about your friendship, she wouldn’t be using you like she is. Just be wary of her act and be careful of what you say around her. It might be like walking on eggshells, but it’s best to take care with the situations you’re in with her. She’ll take advantage of your weaknesses if you’re not watching out for yourself, so you have to be on your guard.

2. Be careful of how much you share. These types of girls are vicious in gossip and telling others your stories. They can sometimes twist the stories to make it sound like you’re not a good person or that you’ve done them wrong. Maybe you both had something to do with the issues the occurred, but do you want everyone knowing your friendship drama? Perhaps they have always been this way, but you’ve never realized it until one of your friends tells you something you never told them personally. If you don’t want the whole world to know about your relationships or any of your bad habits, don’t trust them so readily and be wary of how much you tell them.

3. Be straight with her and tell her when you can’t help her out. If she’s pushing you to drive her somewhere, just put her in her place. Tell her that you’re always willing to help her out, but that you’re busy on that particular day. If she continues to bug you and makes you feel guilty, just stand your ground. Don’t give into her demands if it means giving into her guilt-trip. Manipulators are good at wearing down their victims, so be the strong one, not the one that tries to keep the peace in this regard.

4. Spend time with other friends. If you show you have other friends and are busy with others, too, you can both gain other alliances. This will help #5 go smoother if you’ve decided that the friendship is too much for you to deal with. Having other groups of friends assures that you have people who have your back if the “difficult” friend decides to bother you and guilt you into to doing something for her. The “difficult” one might still be a fair-weather friend, but if you have consistent friends who don’t want things from you, then you will have healthier relationships overall.

5. Slowly back away from their friendship. I know this seems obvious – is she really a friend is she uses you? Not everyone can spot the manipulative types, however, and easily get caught in their games again and again. Plus, even the people are the sweetest and most caring at times can also have the most brutal mood swings and behaviors. Sometimes, you have the weigh their good and bad traits to truly see that they might be using you. Once that’s done, however, and you think it’s not worth the drama anymore, slowly moving away from their friendship is the best way to remove yourself from the situation. Manipulative friends are toxic and permeate every aspect of your life if they’re given leverage. Knowing when to move on from the guilt-trips and games is the first step in securing your life as your own, not something someone can step on.

Is Having A Best Friend Healthy For Your Child?

“Beautiful Friendship” Contest Rules

Becoming a “Soul Sister” – “Soul sisters” are linked through experience, understanding, and a true sense of womanhood that transcends the mere “acquaintance.” Whether they’re a friend from the start or someone who came in during your mid-life crisis, all friendships bring something special to the table. They’re just different in the way they met you and how much time they’ve been around you. It’s not the quantity of the the time they’ve known you, but the quality of the time you’ve spent together. Some of my best friends are people who I’ve known only two years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know them well. We’ve spent quality time together, therefore, the friendship has become more important to me as the months and years have gone by.

Strong female friendships can be hard to come by sometimes due to drama, man issues, or anything that makes trust become a problem, so it’s important to keep your sisters close! Learn to love all your friends, despite how long you’ve known them – it’s the bond that counts.

Announcing…THE “BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP” CONTEST

brought to you by DreamWorks Studios & HelloBeautiful.com

Do you have a beautiful friendship in your life? Have you experienced a friendship with another woman that has influenced your life in a positive way? Transformed you emotionally or spiritually or intellectually, helped you through a challenging situation, or just been plain fun?

Tell us about it in the Beautiful Friendship contest and WIN:

• a new Flip HD camera
• an exclusive all-expense paid trip for you and your friend to the LIVE FILM SET of DreamWorks’ upcoming major motion picture, The Help, based on the best-selling book by Kathryn Stockett.
• a meet & greet with the cast and crew of the film to witness how a film gets made.
• Featured Blogger spot on HelloBeautiful.com to video blog about your experience with your new camera!

To Enter, fill in the form below:

1. Write a description of your “Beautiful Friend” (350 words or less)

2. Upload your most beautiful picture of you both together. (The photo should be a personal photograph, taken by you or of you for which you have permission to post.)

Winners will be chosen by HelloBeautiful on September 20, 2010

It’s hard to believe that it’s already September. Unfortunately, now it’s getting down to the wire and maybe you haven’t finished exactly what you hoped to accomplish. Maybe you have some books you wanted to read, but they’ve been put aside in favor of family activities. Perhaps the rooms of your house have become progressively more cluttered now that you’ve been traveling to the beach during every free moment. What can you do to improve your levels of productivity before the summer’s over and you’re back to the daily grind?

1. Make a list of what you hope to accomplish by summer’s end. Is there a book you’ve been meaning to finish for ages, but you haven’t gotten around to the rest of the year? The summer’s the perfect time to accomplish that fun task, especially when work’s dying down and you have the opportunity to sit outside and enjoy the warm weather. Perhaps your house needs cleaning or there are some other important tasks that need to be done. Just put them all on one list to complete, or make two lists: one for “required tasks” and one for “tasks that I’d love to accomplish.” If you differentiate what type of work needs to be done and spread out the “required tasks” among the ones that you actually want do, you’ll have a much more enjoyable, balanced rest of the summer.

2. Set aside some time every day to check off what you’ve accomplished. Make yourself feel good for doing a month’s worth of laundry or completing that 5o0 page novel that’s been on your nightstand forever! Check off what you’ve done and survey the importance of the upcoming tasks. Make sure you’re not just getting through the list without really thinking if these accomplishments were worth the effort. Prioritize well and don’t make the list set in stone. In the end, you should be able to congratulate yourself for a job well done and feel good about your work!

3. Try to kill two birds with one stone – multi-task (but not too much!) It might be tempting to read two books at once while cleaning the house and doing laundry, but isn’t that going a little overboard? While a little multi-tasking can be good and make perfect sense sometimes (ie. doing laundry while watching a movie you’ve been wanting to see), once you’re spreading your cognition too thin, something’s going to get done wrong and then all of your efforts will be shot. Get as much done as you can with the time you have, yet also realize that you’re only human and that the summer’s a time for relaxing, not stressing yourself to the point of confusion.

Does Multi-Tasking Really Decrease Productivity?

4. Make activities that are for “summer only” a priority! If you have to choose between cleaning out your attic or taking a weekend beach vacation, which one sounds more promising for the summer? It’s only warm out for a few months out of the year, so take advantage of the sand and sun while you can! The attic and the dishwasher will be there when you get back. There might be a lot of important chores to accomplish at home, but the beach is the perfect place for multi-tasking the right way: you can read a book you’ve been meaning to pick up while relaxing on a beach blanket; maybe in the end, you might even get some extra sun in your brown cheeks! There are so many “summer friendly” activities out there, so make sure you don’t miss out on what’s most desirable during the warm months!

5. If you didn’t do everything you wanted to by summer’s end, start making plans for next summer in advance! Plan that coveted beach vacation now and you’ll already have something good to look forward to for next year – isn’t it about time you treat yourself? Maybe not everything went as planned this summer (maybe your beach days were rained out or you didn’t get all the relaxation you wanted due to the kids), but it’s not all lost! There are many years in the future left for your enjoyment, so don’t be disappointed if you didn’t accomplish all you wanted during these warm summer days. There’s always next year and much time even now to get the priorities done. Keep your life balanced, sisters!

There’s still a month left of summer, girls, so don’t forget to get a mix of planned events and time set aside for relaxation. It’s been a long half a year, so don’t miss out on what could be a productive, exciting end to the warm months!

5 Ways To Take Control Of Your Life

As do a lot of people, I commute on the train into the city, as well as grab two subways on the way into work in the morning. It’s a weird feeling sometimes sitting on the train by yourself, surrounded by so many people, yet no one’s talking to each other. I’ll be sitting in a 2-person seat by myself, but then some man in a business suit and a Kindle will sit next to me, reading an e-book in silence while I’m reading my softcover novel. It’s all very anonymous and almost awkward. Being from a small town where everyone knows each other, it’s new to me to feel like everyone’s in their own little world and don’t even notice the people around them. People looking straight ahead and walking in a million different directions is something unique all together – the final destination seems much more important than the actual trip there. Honestly, I’m all about people watching and taking in the atmosphere wherever I am, but the people I see rushing into the city with briefcases seem to just be walking fast, looking straight ahead, so sure of where they’re going that they miss where they actually are. How does a small town girl or basically anyone survive in an atmosphere different from one’s own?

Here are some tips that might help you in braving a big city:

1. Bring a book or music device to listen to during the train ride. The easiest way to fit into the anonymous lifestyle is join them. Personally, I like reading on 45 minute train ride into the city – everyone’s either sleeping, reading, or doing something work-related on the train, so why not enjoy the time you have to yourself and read or listen to your iPod? I know my train rides go faster and it’s less awkward to be sitting next to someone unknown when I have my distractions with me.

2. Go with the flow of traffic, just like you’re driving. Seriously, it can be REALLY easy to get caught in the hustle and bustle of the city. You can just be stopping just to get your Metro Card out of your wallet, but everyone around you is still walking and will bump into you like you’re not there. Find a place away from people to remove your Metro Card or money. No one’s going to yield for you, so it’s good to know that and get used to the non-stop crowds.

3. Make sure not to take up too much room on the subway. If you have a bag with you, put it on your lap or hold it tight to your body. At the worst of congestion, the subway is packed with people holding onto the bars and sitting in every single seat, so don’t be rude and give your bag a seat, too. Or hit someone with your extra-heavy briefcase.

4. It’s okay to hold onto the bars on the subway. Actually, it could be dangerous if you don’t. The subway cars go mighty fast and could easily knock you over. Even if you’re worried about germs, it’s common practice and you’re lucky when you find a seat that you can squeeze into at the peak of commuter traffic.

5. People watch. It’s fun. Seriously, I get most of my relaxation from just observing other people whether it’s on the train into the city or on the subway. One of my favorite games is to try and decipher the music emanating really loudly from someone’s headphones. This game gets especially intriguing if you hear music you didn’t expect from one of the starched-suited commuters. For example, I could hear “Rude Boy” by Rihanna blasting out from the headphones of this impeccably dressed businesswoman in a pants suit. People are interesting to observe, so if you’re able to subtly people watch without disturbing anyone, all the better.

6. Follow a crowd when crossing the street. Cars, buses, and other intensely driven vehicles are more likely to stop when there’s a crowd of people crossing the street as opposed to a lone commuter trying to cross by themselves. Always be careful of rushed drivers – not everyone yields to pedestrians!

7. Keep your wits about you at all times. I see tons of people listening to their iPods or talking on their phones while walking onto busy subway trains, but I personally think that’s kind of dangerous. You don’t know who’s around you or what could happen when you’re not paying attention. Stay aware of your surroundings and you’ll be safer in the big commuter rush.

7. Make sure to get all the caffeine you need before the commute. If you’re dead tired in the morning, you could miss your subway stop or worse, walk into incoming traffic if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re awake and ready to face the busy day!

For more commentary on this topic, check out this article.

Social Networking Vs. Real Life: Is There A Difference Anymore?

How To Be Optimistic And Go With The Flow

A scenario happened to me this morning that happens to some people far too often. You open up your purse to find your phone, but it’s not there. The downside is that you’re already at work and there’s still a full day to get through. If you’re like me and attached to your phone, it feels weird to not be able to check the time, open text messages, or basically be apart of instant communication that comes with having a cell phone. While I’ve already written articles about the downside of being constantly connected to technology (ie. Don’t Let Technology Mess Up Real Life Relationships), the cell phone is its own category all-together: people use cell phones like all-purpose communication tools. It’s a gadget that’s become something that people use as a crutch to not talk to people in person. What exactly is the point of being so attached to a digital device, yet oblivious to the world around you? Not having my phone around me this morning has made me ponder this question, so I thought I’d muse about it and try to decipher the reason behind our obsession with our phones.

Sometimes, when I go to a new place and don’t know anyone, it’s just easier to just look down at my cell phone and text someone I know. It might be a bad habit, but I’ve seen other people do the same thing in public places. It’s even common to be at a dinner with friends and constantly see one or more people looking down at their phones at your own table. Constantly being somewhere else might be natural in such a technological environment, but is it really healthy to be so detached from our surroundings? Being separated from my cell phone today has been an interesting experience: it started with both shock and annoyance culminated with a pay phone call home, yet has steadily eased into general nervousness and reassuring myself of its unimportance. I think the main reason I’ve felt this way is that I’m afraid, as a lot of people are, of being disconnected from people. Having your phone means that you’re available for people to contact you on the spot and when you lose that ability, it’s kind of disconcerting. My first thought when I forgot my phone was, will people get annoyed if I don’t answer their texts until 7pm tonight? I might really want my phone back right now, but I know it’s a good experience (and an article idea!) to have to deal with a day where I have to live without my “crutch.” It reminds me of being up in the mountains for vacation last summer and just basking in nature. The summer is the perfect time to calm down on the technological front and just let it be, especially with it being so nice outside!

This might sound really bad, but I’ll admit that when I was at a concert this past weekend with one friend, I kept answering texts on my phone. It can sometimes be hard to gauge the importance of communicating with certain people, yet it’s vital to know when to put the technology down and just go with the moment. It can be difficult enough when multiple people are talking to your face at once, but it’s even crazier when different mediums are involved. You could be texting, using any form of IM, or even just checking your e-mail and you’re lost in a separate world. A lot of phones have internet-related features now, therefore, when the phone is left at home, lost, or stolen, it’s like losing your virtual livelihood. I remember looking around me after realizing my phone was at home and just feeling helpless. I know that’s not a healthy feeling, yet I felt naked without my phone by my side. I haven’t had a phone even half as long as I’ve been alive, yet it feels like a part of me. Why does this phenomenon happen?

In 2010, as has always been the case, it’s common for people to feel “left out” if they don’t have a connection to others. The fact that these personal connections have extended to technology has created a different environment where people are less apt to initiate conversations in person. While phones can be lifesavers in emergency situations, they’ve become so much more in recent years. Being connected to more people in the world is one of the most important aspects of this new generation, yet it’s a vitally important experience to have to talk to others face-to-face. Social skills are important for jobs, as well as interactions with strangers and personal relationships alike. Being constantly attached to one’s phone might be a new and interesting way to get to know someone, but being away from your phone, even just for a little bit, makes it easier to appreciate the world around you and what you might be missing behind the screen. Keep your eyes off of your phone sometimes and just embrace what’s around you – life’s out there for independent exploration, so don’t miss out!

Technology And What It Means For The Next Generation

As a person who resists change until it actually occurs, I know how it feels to be put in an unfamiliar environment and being unsure of the next step. It’s tough letting go of the reigns sometimes and embracing change, especially if you’re somewhere new and you don’t want to lose control of your surroundings. While it’s always important to be alert and aware of where you’re going, isn’t it also good to keep up with the moment and enjoy where you are? I know it’s all been said before, but I truly believe that it’s important to let go once in a while and let beauty surround you. Sometimes, it’s healthy to give yourself a bit of leeway and take small risks to make life more interesting: a break from the routine. Embrace your surroundings when you’re somewhere new.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was walking around the city with a friend after work and just enjoying the sites. I usually have more of a routine – finish work, get off two subway stops and hop on the train home, but last night, I was more free about it. I didn’t have anywhere to be, so I just stayed in the city and took new subway stops, went into different areas of the city, and basically just let whatever happened happen. While they were all new surroundings for me, I just kept my wits about me and enjoyed where I was. My friend and I wandered around, got dinner, stopped in a few shops, and just let ourselves get lost in the city, something I never do. Sometimes it’s fun to make memories that you wouldn’t normally make, especially now that it’s the summer and what do you remember most fondly – the routine or the adventures? Although I remember both (I love commuting into the city), the adventures are what make for good stories and stand out in your life, as opposed to what always occurs and is safe. You can be safe and have fun, but in the end, it’s taking risks within reason that makes life what it is. You just have to be smart about what you’re doing and make sure you know where you are. As long as that’s accounted for and you’re not in danger, risks and change can make more appearances in your life, not just in the moments between the dull routines.

In general, my advice is to mix it up once in a while. Change up your routine and go walk around your city or town after work. Go somewhere you’ve never been and live in the moment. Just do what feels like it would make your life more interesting. Be strong, independent, and adventurous!

Have you ever had a fun adventure somewhere new? Comment and share your stories below.

Related Links:

How To Embrace Your Nervousness & Just Be Yourself

How To Successfully Brave The Anonymity Of A Big City