1. SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape; forcing sex after physical beating; attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner; forcing the victim to perform sexual acts on another person, on the Internet or forcing the victim to pose for sexually explicit photographs against his/her will.
2. ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment. For more information, see our Financial Abuse page.
3. PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to himself/herself, you, your family member, or your children; destruction of pets and property; stalking you or cyberstalking you, playing “mind games” to make you doubt your sanity; forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work.
4. SEXUAL COERCION AND REPRODUCTIVE CONTROL: When a partner sabotages your birth control efforts by demanding unprotected sex, lying about “pulling out,” hiding or destroying birth control (i.e., flushing pills down the toilet or poking a hole in a condom), preventing you from getting an abortion or forcing you to get an abortion.
5. CULTURAL AND IDENTITY ABUSE: Threatening to “out” your sexual orientation or gender identity, your participation in S & M or polyamory, your HIV status, your immigration status, or any other personal information to family, friends, co-workers, landlords, law enforcement, etc. Using your race, class, age, immigration status, religion, size, physical ability, language, and/or ethnicity against you in some way.
Not only are these forms of domestic violence prevalent in heterosexual relationships, many individuals within the LGBTQ community face the same types of abuse. Inclusive to those forms listed above, same sex couples also use abuse to gain control or power by:
• Threatening to “out” the victim or reveal his/her sexual orientation or gender identity.
• Telling the victim that no one will help him/her or that s/he deserves the abuse because of his/her gender identity or sexual orientation.
• Denying the victim’s identity by saying that at some point his/her behavior or identity did not conform to the abuser’s definition of any label the victim chooses to use (e.g. Saying to a man, “You’ve had a relationship with a woman, so you’re not really gay.”).
• Telling the victim that the abuse is a “normal” part of a same-sex relationship.
• Telling the victim that the abuse cannot be domestic violence because it is taking place between LGBTQ individuals.
• Claiming that the abuse is an expression of some “desirable” trait. (e.g., “This is just me being butch, which is why you like me.”)
What Are Your Options If You Are A Victim?:
As we previously reported and as listed above, if you are in an abusive relationship you have several options. This includes keeping a record of all occurrences of the abuse, leaving your abusive partner, filing policy reports and getting restraining orders. As all forms of domestic violence may not look exactly alike, it is imperative to know what each facet it includes so once it happens, you can immediately work to remedy the harmful situation.
Please visit www.womenslaw.org for additional information.
Rashida Maples, Esq. is Founder and Managing Partner of J. Maples & Associates (www.jmaplesandassociates.com). She has practiced Entertainment, Real Estate and Small Business Law for 9 years, handling both transactional and litigation matters. Her clients include R&B Artists Bilal and Olivia, NFL Superstar Ray Lewis, Fashion Powerhouse Harlem’s Fashion Row and Hirschfeld Properties, LLC.
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