“Use this time to get yourself together, so when you find that right one, the loose ends that you needed to tie up are tied up!”
And as much as the single life can sometimes (not all the time) suck, I think it’s valuable Janes take the time to get to know themselves. Your wedding day will come. You will find your prince charming. The man that will sweep you off your feet WILL make his way into your life, but deciding the flower arrangements and table settings a decade a head of the actual date won’t make him arrive any quicker!
I’ve never understood what the big deal was with weddings and marriages. It never made sense to me. Keep the ring, just promise to love me forever has always been my motto, but to all you Janes who are planing your wedding day now… Hey, more power to you.
I didn’t start planning my hypothetical wedding until I was 22-years-old. For some reason I skipped the whole “I know what dress I’m wearing the day I walk down the aisle” when I was a young girl. But now, if anyone says the word “wedding,” I light up inside like ET’s pointy finger. Ask me ten years ago what kind of dress I wanted to wear and you’d probably hear, “I don’t believe in marriage.” Ask me today and you’d hear something like, “a mermaid-cut gown with sweetheart neckline.”
I don’t cut magazine pictures out of bridal books, but if I see one, I will surely pick it up! Too much thinking about the day when I haven’t even been proposed to yet is an injustice, in my opinion. I have no idea what it is like to wear something that symbolizes the rest of my life so I try to not pretend I even know what it feels like. I’ll just wait for my time to come and be genuinely happy. Nothing planned.
Ty Alexander: I am not even sure how you can manage to actually date a someone if you spend all of your time planning a wedding before you’ve found your groom. I’ve been with my boo for over 10 years. The topic of marriage and weddings come up at every holiday, or when one of the homies walks down the aisle. We both begin to question our relationship (but only for seconds). We wonder what marriage would change or what the benefit of a wedding would be. Then we realize it doesn’t matter to us.
I come from a two parent household. My parents are in year 36th of their marriage. And don’t get me wrong, I do value that. But I value their relationship more than their marriage. I admire their friendship more than my mother’s wedding ring–although a vintage diamond ring would be extremely lovely. I’m sure if we spent time teaching our little girls how to love themselves regardless of society’s lack of approval, we’d birth better candidates for the brides of the world.
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