I saw him one time after that at his album signing in New York. I’ll never forget how into the song “Poppin'” he was. He bobbed his head, signing CD covers as screaming fans begged for his attention. His mother was right there too. He didn’t even notice that I had given him a copy of the picture we took that night at Exit.
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Then, life happened, or should I say love happened? I hated the “Umbrella Remix,” I still do. But, even then, I couldn’t deny how cute he and Rihanna looked together. And, who doesn’t like Rihanna? I had my own relationship going on too, so it didn’t hurt the credulous side of me that thought Chris and I were going to grow up and get married. But it did hurt when I saw Rihanna’s face on the cover of the newspaper, beaten, bloody, embarrassed, vulnerable and mostly heart-broken like no woman should ever feel. I was angry. I was curious and utterly confused. At that age, it’s like you know domestic violence exists but it became real at that moment. Needless-to-say, I didn’t want to hear much music from Chris Brown for a while. Nor did my father!
But as you know, the sting of time silences wounds and aside from what the media wanted us to believe, I made my own decision and forgave him. I even feel silly for saying that. Who am I to forgive someone over something in which I have no involvement? To this day, I can’t answer that, but I know I’m not the only person who feels some sense of entitlement when it comes to celebrity’s personal life. Being in love makes you want other people to be in love, just so they can know how you’re feeling, and even at that time, back then, I know Rihanna’s heart lingered for him still.
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