Professional Athletes Tell Their Dirtiest Stories: “I Didn’t Catch Scurvy, So Whatever” [EXCLUSIVE]

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Six legs wrapped around each other, six hands exploring each others every body part–and three tongues making the laps around three warm bodies. What’s this a recipe for? Oh, just your average threesome. Intimidating for most, but stimulating for others–threesomes bring excitement into the bedroom, no matter who you ask.

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Threesomes can prove to be a slippery slope for the average Joe. It requires the perfect combination of willingness, drunkenness and daring, to both, facilitate and execute, a threesome. But when you’re a person of a particular status, (like a professional athlete) all you have to do is hope the stars are aligned and show up.

Sex is easy for people of status. Money and success act like nature’s aphrodisiac and blinded by the glow of the spotlight, most women (and men) easily answer ‘yes’ to sexual propositions from the rich and famous. From anal sex, to freaky fetishes and threesomes–folks that live in the spotlight have no problems requesting their filthiest desires from the people who adore them.

We found three professional athletes–two football players and a female track star–willing to share their experiences with threesomes, and we found out quite a lot. Here’s some jewels: Always remember who was the last person in the threesome to eat a**, remember to drop out and watch for a minute, and be a boss b*tch when another woman is in your bedroom.

For the rest of all the juicy details, read the Q&A below!

NFL Linebacker, 28

What tips do you have to survive a threesome?

Stay focused because it can get wild if you’re with the right females. You can easily f*ck around and end the party too soon if your mind ain’t right.
 Step back and watch for little bit. You’re not needed the whole time. Pleasing one woman can be hard enough and takes a ton of concentration. Now you have two? Damn. Let them take some of that pressure off of you. The worst thing that could happen is you bust early and the party is over before it ever really gets started. You just sit on the sidelines and don’t even get to play. You just have to watch. You ain’t happy and neither are they because they didn’t sign up for a naked n*gga to watch them have sex–they signed up for a threesome, sh*t we all did.

When you stepped back to watch, have you ever been forgotten about?

Naw, you have stay relevant. Even if you’re just telling them what to do, you’re still in the mix.

How do you even go about asking a woman for a threesome?

Ask if she thinks that over there girl is cute. Then ask her ‘would she do it to her ?’ and see what she says.  If she would and she’s that type of chick, let her go approach the other girl and see if she can seal the deal.

Female Track and Field Athlete, 29

Groupies are known to go out of their way when trying to get between an athlete’s sheets. What’s the craziest thing a girl’s tried to get in your bed?

We’ll since I’m a female, I don’t deal with male groupies. I mean, male groupies tend to want to be around other famous men, but ironically most male groupies aren’t gay, which is very odd. I can tell you about thirsty dudes though. Most of them pretend to love kids. They’ll lie and say, “I’ve always wanted kids.” I had a guy pretend to have a niece, which he never had. I had another dude follow me in the mall, see me try on a pair of shoes, and not buy them, only to buy the shoes after I was done, and chase me down after I left to store to give them to me

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What’s the best thing to do as a woman in a threesome to not get overwhelmed?

Stay in control. Establishing rules is huge. It lets people know who’s allowed to do what and with who. It also you to be upfront about what you are not willing to do. You have to be a boss b*tch while another female is in the bed with your man. If a b*tch starts feeling herself too much and thinks she’s Pamela Anderson, she may start breaking the rules and get out line. You gotta tell her, “Bitch, shut up.” Always keep her in control — she’s not a human, she’s just a sex object.

Have you ever been forgotten about in a threesome?

Not technically. But sex is between two people, so inevitably in that type of situation it can happen. You just have to maintain and stay relevant. You gotta throw a flag on the play, and break it up if they are having too much fun without you. You just gotta break it up for ten seconds. While you’re getting busy with her, what am I supposed to do? Juggle a ball? You always have to maintain control and make sure everything is about you.

What’s the worst possible thing that could or has happened in a threesome?

Your man decides your sex is weak and goes with the other girl or he just falls off because he gets what he wants and decides you’re too freaky. When you go outside your box (pause) and you don’t have the desired results, it may effect your relationship in negative way. You have to make sure he’s not asking because your weak minded, stupid, loose or he’s trying to see how far he can get you to go. Also, make sure he’s not asking to turn you out.

The worst thing that happened to me was that my boyfriend at the time had an orgasm with the other girl. I kicked the both of them out of my house. He knew the damn rules and that was one of them. I was like, “No this n*gga didn’t!” I was immediately thinking, “Wow, did I do this for the right reason?” It gave me pause and was just emotionally painful.

I was doing this to please my man. The other girl might as well be a dildo or porn. You are not supposed to feel anything from them. It’s just like live porn in your bedroom. She’s a plaything. I told him, “You wanna f*ck someone in the ass? F*ck her in the ass.” A threesome allows your man to be sadistic and objectify another women because you damn sure wouldn’t let him treat you like that. I snapped out the whole fantasy when I saw him climax with her. I’m thinking is he feeling her more than just an object right now, does he really like her?

NFL Defensive End, 30

What tips do you have to survive a threesome?

If you are single, leave it all on the table. If you are a man who is going to have a threesome with your girlfriend and another chick, and this isn’t a regular thing, make sure to give your girlfriend twice the attention as the other chick. This rule just makes life easier if you are in a relationship.

What’s the best thing to do as a man in a threesome to not get overwhelmed?

A shot of something to take the edge off and a deep breath.

What would you say it the best threesome you’ve ever had?

My girlfriend at the time, commanded me to hit the other chick in the bunghole (anal) because “You are not going in mine.” It was an ecstasy and OJ type of night. They 69’ed on their side, and I hit the big booty chick from behind, it was glorious. The chick in the middle came so hard I thought she died. I didn’t know that was possible from anal until that night.

How do you even go about asking a woman for a threesome?

You have to have balls, plain and simple. The key is unless it’s the chick’s idea, you have to just go for it without so much verbalization.

What’s the worst possible thing that could happen in a threesome?

Forget who ate some ass earlier in the night! I ruined my whole night one time by deeply tongue kissing a chick I forgot had gobbled me and the other chicks pooper earlier. I didn’t catch scurvy, so whatever.

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