I remember going through a, “girl I need to get out and have a few drinks to get this off my mind for a minute,” phase in a previous relationship. I spent a lot of time discussing my issues with a friend and now that I think back to our chop up sessions, I realize that I did a lot more talking to her than I did to one of the star players in the game-The Boyfriend. It became a lot more comfortable to talk to her as opposed to him because I knew instinctively that I was afraid to disturb the alleged peace in our relationship. It was immature to think that the series of “Girls Night Outs” could be the remedy to a disintegrating relationship. Although they are a barrel of fun, ladies let’s be honest, nothing really gets accomplished on those nights except a hangover and gossip updates.
Like HelloBeautiful On Facebook To Keep Up With Your Fave Black Celebs!
I remember this friend asking me abruptly, “why do you like him?” See I had spent so much time bitching about what I wanted to see happen that clearly was not happening that I forgot why I decided to mess with the boyfriend in the first place. Why do I like him? I took way too long to answer the damn question I’m sure she was about to call the ambulance, but I ended up replying with, “We have chemistry.”
My double mint bubble gum hair twirling answer caused me to rethink relationships up to that point in my obviously sheltered twenty something years of life. Chemistry, the funny feeling you get all over when you stare into each other’s eyes, the way he makes you laugh, the jokes you crack together, your synchronized routine on the dance floor, the vibration of the warm kisses he gives you, the finishing of sentences- Is that enough from keeping a sister from hangover central at Girl’s Night Out?
As wonderful as chemistry is, the truth is not everyone we have electrifying connection to, we are meant to be in a sustainable relationship with. I strongly believe that there are individuals in our lifetime that can cause a stir, good or bad in our life that may have us think that they MUST be forever yet the chemistry may be the only thing in sync.
Ask anybody in a long term relationship, they will tell you that although there is an undying spark between them there may also be a set of shared and unshared values, diverse opinions, and the willingness to compromise and sacrifice. If one party feels the need to indulge in Girl’s Night Out while the other is unaware of the issues plaguing the peace then to put chemistry into the mix is irrelevant.
That’s my two cents, HB fam I need you to chime in…
What do you think, is chemistry all you need to sustain a relationship?
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email firstname.lastname@example.org