I’m a sucker for quizzes, theories and love. I like to fill my brain with as much jeopardy-game show type material as possible. When I was a little girl the only thing I would ask my mom to buy me when we were out shopping were magazines, books and Archie comics. I also used to be the go-to girl in high school if folks wanted to see the latest WORDUP or Seventeen magazines. I had them all…What issue do you want? So it’s definitely no surprise that I’m a writer for one of the best online magazines for African-American Women, HelloBeautiful or that I hold my personal blog Goddess Intellect dear to my heart.
The other day I went searching the internet for exciting info to share with the family and I came across a theory by psychologist John Lee called “Love Styles” or “The Colors of Love”. The theory identifies 6 distinct love styles that individuals practice in their romantic relationships.
- Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
- Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once
- Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity (kindred to Philia)
- Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative
- Mania – obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers
- Agape – selfless altruistic love; spiritual
I’m sure by just scanning the list we all know couples and individuals who fit in each category. How does knowing about this theory help one improve on what they already have or what they want? Well the idea behind the theory is to form a union with someone who has the same love style as yourself so that you have someone who understands why for example, devotion to the church is important or why you enjoy flirting in front of your partner. I personally think that the 6 six love types are a bit extreme based on the short descriptions given above however I wouldn’t discredit this theory.
I took the quiz and found out my love style is “Eros” which is too true. My head stays in the clouds I love all things beautiful and I am extremely passionate about every aspect of a relationship. A Ludus would walk all over me then get cut, a pragma would bore me and a mania would get on my damn nerves.
The downside to being an Eros, well we want everyone to be an Eros and often get hurt. *sigh* Tis the story of my life! I can say with confidence that a fellow Eros is hanging around and I’ve never had to do as little explaining about why I’m so loca, to anyone in my entire life and vice versa. It’s refreshing, but still keeping my eyes and options open in the interim.
Take the Love style quiz here.
Which love style are you?
Is this theory a bunch of BS or is there any truth to it?
Do you prefer one love style over the other?
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email email@example.com.